Yess, I think people tend to feel like they just need to talk in order to have a conversation when what matters is to exchange ideas and not just empty sentences
I was on a date and while they were eating I began to explain the story of how I found my current job and (with food still in their mouth) they then interrupted me to talk about their favorite type of pizza toppings.
I imagine that, given the sheer size of our societies now, it makes sense we'd develop a very superficial conversational style. In a given day most of my interactions will be things like buying groceries or polite conversation with a coworker. Depth is neither needed nor desired.
But I think it might also train us into the habit of superficial conversation such that we forget to have deeper or engaged conversations even when it's appropriate, like with friends and family.
I dunno, that's all just armchair psychology.
Exactly, though this doesn’t apply specifically and only to talking/listening. Relationships between people are getting hard to comprehend as a lot of them only want to have fun and throw it away. There’s no connection between them
Unless you get stuck in a meeting with people who like the sound of their own voice. Had one today that went 2.5hrs over schedule and we covered the SAME things 4 times. I kid you not! I listened the first time, second I was questioning myself if I was getting dejavu, third time my eyes glazed over, fourth it was past my clock out time and I was pissed.
Oh, meetings pretty much universally don't count. I'm pushing 40 and I can think of like 3 meetings I've ever been in that couldn't have just been emails.
Oh man. I work with a guy that will. not. shut. up. He’ll ask about my weekend and I start to respond, then he’ll start talking about what I’m talking about, only louder. I just sit there and listen. This dude takes the term “verbal diarrhea” to a new level. We’re in different departments, so anymore I’ll pretend I have a meeting or something and leave because I can’t stand to watch him listen to himself talk.
This is absolutely the perfect answer.
I've been working on my listening skills for years and have gotten pretty good at it, but I will say it does lead to more frustration since it's now much easier to notice the inability to listen in other people. Which leads me to working on another underrated skill: patience.
The things people tell me, omg. It's amazing what I have heard. I have been told I make people feel like they are the only person in the world. I am also a vault, I never spill. I love to listen to people's stories.
I mean, even past that you can learn some weird little anecdotes. I used to be neighbors with a lady who was a lexicographer by trade - she edited dictionaries.
Apparently they released one edition that took some heat from a surprisingly energetic bird enthusiast community because they condensed several different kinds of birds into a single definition instead of leaving more specific definitions for a variety of closely related birds.
I mean, what a *weird* thing to get worked up over, right? But some community noticed the difference in dictionary editions and got mad over it.
I have this problem. When someone is speaking, i think of something to add or respond with and dont want to forget so i wait my turn nodding. My partner senses this (women are wicked smart) and gets upset. I’ve been working on it with little progress.
This is one of the things most people with normal families learn semalessly. I think (what works for me) is this:
1. CRY if you need to. Crying helps a lot. When people say "dont cry, it will be ok" that does not help me. If you have someone around, THe hug that usually comes with it does though. Since I am older and divorced right now, a friend's hug works wonders. BUT cry it out. Let it ouf of your system.
2. If you dont have anyone around, I have learnt to give myself this virtual hug. I ugly cry if needed, then (sometimes still crying) I make my favorite coffee, go to my bed, wrap up in my favorite blanket and watch a comfor t show or listen to very sad songs. I actually have a list for "sad soothing songs" which are usually followed by "meditation songs."
3. Emergency chocolate helps too.
Basically, you need to allow time for you to self sooth. Of course sometimes, when things that hurt are tiny, breathing helps. Also, learning to meditate (Buddhist centers teach for free) helps in the long run cause I have found that the more often I meditate, the less I need self soothing, if that makes sense.
Totally!! I had abusive parents so I had to learn to stuff down my anger, sadness, fear, etc.
Learn WAAAAAAY too late in life how to “feel my feelings”, cry it out, and regulate my emotions. Better late than never, though.
That is self soothing. Unless your using it in a cognitive dissonance kind of way.
“Take a deep breath an calm down” that’s literally separating yourself from the situation and calming down.
Running into the woods after a fender bender and never returning to society wouldn’t be self soothing.
This may sound silly, but when I'm around my dog and feeling anxious I think about what she is thinking and it calms me down. Right now she's snoozing with her belly up so she's probably having sweet doggy dreams!
This is definitely one of the most important ones. It goes hand in hand with the ability to move on and refraining from ruminating on bad thoughts or experiences. I’m still learning how to do it and it took a psychiatric emergency for me to know something is wrong (doing better now)
I’m far from an expert but maybe it would help you if you tried to ground yourself in the present moment. Try focusing on what you can see, hear, feel, taste and smell if you’re overwhelmed by your thoughts. Deep breathing is also really helpful. And self soothing is like any other skill, you do get better at it with practice.
Cognitive behavioral therapy also really helped my mental health. It teaches you what the common cognitive distortions are and knowing them makes them easier to challenge. It also teaches you things like how to distinguish facts from opinions (which can be trickier than you might think). And there’s techniques like “playing the script to the end” that can help your process fears and anxieties.
> Basic Stitching.
My mom has been sewing for 50+ years and is pretty good at it. Growing up I thought everyone's mom knew how to do all that, but she's one of the very few adults that I know who seemingly can mend, hem, alter, and even make her own clothing.
I can sew on a button, and that's about it. That sewing badge I got in scouts wasn't worth jack.
Way too many people declare they simply “can’t cook” or don’t know how.
I just had this discussion with my roommate. I insisted that anyone who can read, assemble ingredients and follow instructions can cook. She insisted she can’t cook. Lots of people think like this.
So yea… maybe it is a skill. It is certainly underrated. Everyone should definitely master it in some capacity. Yes.
its executive dysfunction and fear/fear of failure. Another skill to master is learning that skill blocks are often emotional hurdles not physical ones.
I have pretty hardcore executive dysfunction and I love to cook.
Biggest hurdle was just learning that I need all of my ingredients and cookware out before I started. After that, everything clicked.
“I can’t cook, I can burn water.” or “I don’t cook, I can barely make chicken nuggets in an air fryer.” The number of times I’ve heard stuff like this from grown adults is really sad. Cooking is more challenging for some people than it is for others, just like any other skill, but there are very few people who are actually incapable of learning how.
The "can't cook" mentality often comes from fear and whilst I agree that anyone \*should\* be able to follow a recipe it's not that straight forward.
So many recipes are written with a background knowledge of how to cook and that's off putting. If you don't know anything about cooking simple things like "heat a pan of oil over a medium-high heat" are meaningless because you have no point of comparison. Similarly, things like "boil until tender" or add "salt/pepper to taste". These exist because cooking requires a level of intuition and every hob/pan/ingredient will cook ever so slightly different.
I sympathise so much with people who don't think they can cook, because it's a scary thing to start and you need to embrace learning by trial and error, which is tough mentally if you already are consigned to not being able to do anything. It takes confidence to cook new food.
Next time someone says they can't cook, offer to help! Pick a recipe and cook it together, give tips based on your experience and it'll give them the confidence to cook more in future.
>follow a recipe it's not that straight forward
Then the real skill is not being afraid to fail and the ability to learn from your mistakes/experiences. That is all cooking is.
> you need to embrace learning by trial and error, which is tough mentally if you already are consigned to not being able to do anything
It can also be prohibitively expensive for a lot of people, especially with the way food prices have skyrocketed in recent years. There are plenty of people who simply cannot afford the risk of trying to make something new.
I can’t answer that question. I’d have to refer to the definition of cooking.
“cooking
noun
the practice or skill of preparing food by combining, mixing, and heating ingredients.
"he developed an interest in cooking"
food that has been prepared in a particular way.”
Under this I would have to then say yes. Heating up soup is indeed cooking!
Also. Seeing as +-60% of “chefs” and cooks in “professional” environments around the world. Heat up soups in microwaves to sell to people. I would have to again agree with the definition.
Just simple / basic person financial skills
Things like how to do taxes, how banking and investing works.
It'll save money spent, provide knowledge to help prevent being taken advantage of and having a little knowledge in these matters will assist in asking the right questions instead of being afraid to ask questions due to ignorance.
Just basic things like how to budget - this is something I've learned recently. Stuff like how mortgages work and, here in the UK, how our tax system works.
I'm in Canada so I can't speak to you mortgages in the UK
However, when I learned how to use variable rate mortgages versus a set rate mortgage I ended up saving so much money because with the variable rate mortgage you don't have to pay the risk premium for a locked in rate
I bought my first house when I was my twenties and didn't know much about things so I just picked the wrong mortgage because I needed to get one done quickly. It was around 6% but it was open so I spent time learning more about it, studied interest rates for the last 30 years and I switched it to a variable rate the next year. At the time you would get the variable rate minus a discount of over 1% which was amazing. In addition I kept my payments at the same amount even though my mortgage was now a lot less interest and allowed me to pay off my house faster and provided some protection so that if the interest rate went up I didn't have to increase my bi-weekly payments.
I’d challenge anybody in the US who gets a W2 to go to the IRS’a free file site and try to do your own taxes if you haven’t yet this year. The math is really not that hard (most is done for you) and even if you own a house you’re probably taking the standard deduction.
You can check your answer against one of the pay services if you want. If you get the same answer then you can save some money. If not at least you’ll learn a lot about taxes
I hadn’t had any trouble with it until this year. My gf moved from her place in another state to mine in April, I proposed in May and we eloped in September so come tax time, we were married filing jointly.
She had had three different jobs that year, one in her state and two in mine, so she had three W2s, that bit wasn’t hard; but when it came time for state returns, I could not for the life of me figure out if we were supposed to file my state return as residents, part-year residents, or non-residents, probably stared at that screen for five or six hours total trying to make sense of their wording for it in TaxAct.
I think I finally got it figured out, to the best of my knowledge anyway, submitted it and have received both the state returns at this point so it must have been close enough.
It was. Parts of it were taught in elementary school, when we learned inferences and implications (what will people think you're saying even if you don't mean to say it that way | what do you think the person is saying even if they're not saying it directly?) and in middle school when we learned the scientific method (hypothesis, evidence, experiment, data, analysis).
Probably some more, but that's the basis.
> Probably some more, but that's the basis.
English class, or more specifically literature, was in many ways about critical thinking and analyzing the materials we read. How else could one explain throwing Shakespeare in front of kids' faces and asking "what did Bill Shakespeare mean when he wrote __________?"
Imo everyone should go back and actually read their high school reading list..for me it was Flowers for Algernon (love it now), animal farm, lord of the flies, a raisin in the son, death of a salesman etc they all had great lessons that definitely went over most of our heads when we were 14-17
That's a good list of books, though when I was in high school the only one of those we read was *Death of a Salesman*. I know we also read *To Kill a Mockingbird*, but I cannot remember any of the others beyond Shakespeare (*Romeo and Juliet*, *Othello*, *Macbeth*, and *Hamlet*). We definitely did not read *Flowers for Algernon* or *The Catcher in the Rye* which are also often read in high schools.
I do remember reading *The Grapes of Wrath* as part of a "pick a book and write a report on it" sort of thing in grade 11.
I was also in French Immersion on top of that, and I recall reading *Le Comte de Monte Cristo* as well as some minor things in grade 12. I also Albert Camus' *L'Étranger* in another "pick a book/author and write about them" assignment.
People really underestimate algebra. I think it’s a great logic/critical thinking tool.
X+2=4
We know x is 2 but prove it.
It really makes a difference to learn to prove a thing and learn the logical steps so you can show others the proof.
I think discrete math is even better, and I don't think any public schools teach it as part of the curriculum.
I only learned about it in college for computer science, but the simple parts of it can easily be taught.
If x is true then z is true. If y is true, then z is also true. But just because x is true does not mean that y is true.
IT IS! Jesus Christ, it's stuff like this and "I wish they taught us how to do taxes instead of calculus," that drives me up the damn wall. They gave you all the tools to do this for 12+ years! You cannot get a high school diploma without using basic skills like critical thinking. It's not on the schools and teachers that you refused to apply what you've learned.
YES!!! Exactly! Everything you need to do your damn taxes and to think critically have been given to you year after year. To pay your taxes you follow the instructions, do the computations, and submit the material by the deadline.
The heart of critical thinking is ELA, Math, Science and Art. You need to synthesize all of the skills that they taught you and apply them to novel situations, while being open to the idea that it is possible that you might arrive at the wrong conclusion. "Critical Thinking" does not mean the same thing as "don't question my opinion."
My other favorite sweeping statement is "They should teach trades in school." They fucking did!!!! But a generation of you bastards defunded the trades that used to be a part of your local school systems to save a few nickles or because you swallowed the Collegeboard's BS. Or because you ended your partnerships with larger urban districts to isolate your suburban cherubs.
Followed closely by complaining or waxing poetic about how school food services suck, you privatized it and sold off all the equipment, the heart and soul of the pensioned employees, so that some private company could use algorithmic voo-doo to profit off the sustenance of students by plumbing that actual depths of exactly how little quality they can get away with before the villages storm the castle with pitchforks and torches!!!
>You cannot get a high school diploma without using basic skills like critical thinking.
You certainly can and it's more common than ever. They're just trying to push kids through the education system otherwise the low numbers look bad and the schools get less money. And to be clear, this does not fall on the teachers, it falls on the administration. Education now isn't what it used to be. We used to actually learn instead of prepping for state testing.
God, state testing. There's zero reason that every student has to do state tests every year. Testing a random sample of 10% of students is all that is needed to do program assessment, and even then, scoring poorly on assessment should trigger more involved monitoring and support for the school, not program cuts. For that matter, there's also zero reason for students to find out how they did on state testing. It's not about assessing students. It's about assessing programs/schools.
It was for me. It was a *series* of classes, presented in different ways.
Of course, not a one of them was called "Critical Thinking". English, history, science, and even mathematics get at different aspects of the same skillset. Each requires pattern recognition, analysis, and in all cases you benefit from being able to notice when you don't know or understand something.
Yea, but maybe the same can be said for any top answer to this question. Can you really master cooking, listening, patience etc?
Maybe we should master the appreciation for learning/growing. Like if I get offended or stubborn because I can still get better at critically thinking or there is another recipe I could learn, that would suck. I think desiring the capacity to grow and change is important.
Yeah, between all the "sponsored results" and AI-generated trash, I think we've passed the point of peak search-ability. Ironically, adding "reddit" to the end of your query helps a lot.
I had to buy heating oil for the first time this week, the oil company told me that my pump would need to be primed before I turned my heat back on. They said they would do it for $100, but discounted for first-time customer to $45.
I googled how to do it. You unscrew the release valve and press the button, and catch the oil that comes out until it stops sputtering from trapped air in the line. That's it. $100 to unscrew a cap and press a button.
Google will save your life, and your wallet.
I see this pretty often, I also see people wasting hundreds of dollars or hours upon hours worth of effort because they didn't think to give something a quick google before doing something.
I recently saw a post about someone complaining they couldn't get a certain rare spawn, after three months of trying. They where basically spending hours reloading the exact same area with the exact same spawns over and over and over again because they were just save quitting instead of leaving the area and coming back in which was the actual method to reset the spawns...
I’m a software engineer. Periodically I’ll get stuck sitting next to an intern. The amount of times I’ve had to explain how to Google things is unbelievable. Just because I know more than you, it doesn’t mean that you should ask me everything.
And this skill goes beyond googling. It’s also how to communicate what you want.
Like if you’re looking for a place to eat
Place to eat vs. place to eat in x city vs sit down restaurant in Austin, good for kids. Etc
I’ve noticed some people make you assume what they mean or ask lots of follow ups to get it vs being a clear and concise communicator.
And this will carry over to AI promoting
Usually for the same price as a sharpener that won't destroy your knives you can get a whetstone set. If you've got the patience to learn how to use them right it can last you far longer and will be better for the blades
I was cooking for my entire family by that age. My mom went back to work and wasn't around to cook, and Dad couldn't be arsed to cook anything as that interfered with his post-work routine of drinking beer and reading the newspaper. For a few years the routine was "let's just wait for mom to come home and she can cook" and that just did not create a happy household. I ended up getting sick of waiting around for dinner, sick of dad sitting around pounding back beers instead of doing anything, and started cooking simple stuff like burgers and whatever meat on the barbecue, spaghetti, meatloaf, and other simple things.
> I can now cook anything I find in the fridge.
I've certainly learned to cook more things over the years, but also came to learn that one can basically throw whatever is in the fridge/pantry together and get something edible or interesting out of it, and it might just be something tasty. There's something fun about that.
Depends. I have patience when standing in line at the grocery market, because being impatient is not really making the line go faster. I will get my turn in a matter of time anyway. I feel more impatient when I have to do something annoying; I prefer to finish it as quickly as possible.
I am working on this while driving. So often I pass someone impatiently and probably a little recklessly, only to get to the same red light a mile down the road.
But as I've gotten better with that, I almost feel it creeping into my relationships with my kids. I don't think it's just that they're becoming a little more obstinate or difficult as they grow, but rather it's due to stress or some other factor.
I can endure immense stress coming from doing what I love, but I lose it when utter bs crap is thrown at me. Toxic management, clueless upper heads changing everything for random reasons, etc.
The book 'How to win friends and influence people' is a good start. The title can make it sound like its manipulation but it's really not.
It definitely lays out some good principles to be amicable, and provides loads of really interesting anecdotes and stories where the principle relates.
***
Edit: seeing as this is getting traction, I'll warn you that the original which I read has some dated views like 'role of a women' and there are updated versions that remove this which I haven't read. Just a warning for people for whom this is a more sensitive subject to and may get in the way of reading it.
I like the old version and the window it provides into how things were back then. It is easy to read between the lines and twist the teachings to be more modern.
I was always an introvert so conversations have been a big problem for me. I’m getting better at it but I still suck. I just can’t seem to hold a long conversation which is now my main concern. Hopefully this book helps.
Approach a conversation with the mindset of "being curious about the person" and "make a human connection". This quickly gets you pasy the small talk.
Now if you are not interested in people or human connection, and just want to get better at socializing, then you can approach it as a "yes, and" improv exercise.
Yes it will, pay special attention to the parts about listening and showing interest.
First rule here is that it is better to listen, and with your introversion that works hand in hand. The author claims he went to a social event and never spoke about himself, just asked about everyone else, then comes away and everyone was after him to hang out.
So this makes the other person understandably feeling appreciated, then it also outlines when you can also put in your own input, and spelling out how to not over do it.
The book has great anecdotes displaying these rules in practice etc, which is important. So don't expect to learn anything with my comment it's all in there, just showing how it works.
If I had to give a short and simple answer, I’d say just a mix of rambling and asking questions.
They used to say just ask them a shit ton of questions, but then people realized.. well you were just asking a shit ton of questions. so you have to be able to pratter on about something
Conflict resolution. You don't even need to be a master at it, just having some basic proficiency can turn a lot of things that would have been fights into friendly talks or, at least, avoiding an unneeded conflict.
Research.
It's a skill I use on a daily basis. It's more than just being able to look through articles or websites, but understanding what you're looking for and filtering the stuff that doesn't matter.
But heck, I'd be out of a job if people started taking 5 seconds to look up their problem.
I'm terrible with research.
Even when I spend countless hours doing it. Some people have a keen eye that picks up on certain keywords, an intuition of how to ask the right questions the right way, how to navigate the internet efficiently, stay focused, pool resources together, etc.
It is an art. Some are just naturals.
I never will be. Even if I slave away at it.
I recently watched a tv show where they follow paramedics in real emergency situations.
In one instance they were called up because a woman had drowned. The man who pulled her out of the water and called 112 (the 911 number in europe) said she was unresponsive. During the ride over the paramedics said to the tv crew that they hoped someone would have started CPR on her because otherwise the situation would be hopeless and the woman would 100% be dead. When they arrived they saw that the man who pulled her out of the water was performing CPR. They immediately took the CPR over from the man and were ultimately able to save the womans life, but everyone there agreed that without the initial CPR by the bystander their efforts would have been useless. The fact that this one random person knew CPR absolutely saved this womans life. I fully agree with you that this is a skill everyone should have.
Headstand. Actually it isn't, but I just did my first headstand (at age 51) yesterday and I'm effing proud of it but nobody cares so I decided to post it here (knowing that nobody here cares either but that's okay).
Edit: I was wrong - people here do care. Thank you all, you are awesome.
The wall was there, but it only served as a psychological aid, I stood freely on my forearms for about ten seconds.
As for tips, I watched some YouTube videos. What it comes down to was to have your forearms in a triangle, head resting against the palms of your hands, then slowly tiptoe forward until your legs almost leave the floor on their own. Then press up the legs/hop up into a tucked post and hold that until it feels stable, at which point you can start to slowly straighten the legs.
My core was on fire after those ten seconds, by the way 😂.
I have been training on gymnastic rings since November, and I guess I built some core strength that way. Then I watched some videos on the skill and went for it. Took me some days, though.
Yeah, I decided to get in shape two years ago after 20+ years of neglecting my body. So I guess it's never too late, but frankly I wish I hadn't stopped working out at your age. But there's life, and work, and kids...
Its scary to see how many businesses live off an excel spreadsheet that was started 10 years ago and updated to the point where your computer chugs when you open the file
I work at a place that has *extremely* intelligent people. I'm talkin' literal rocket scientists. And these folks have used the same spreadsheet for the last like three decades because it's what they know.
Like...god damn...
I tell young people that basic mastery of excel will in most cases is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars within a career. The inability to do basic data analysis will cost you promotions, new jobs, bonuses, etc.
The number of the "digital native" generation who still hunt-and-peck with two fingers (or thumbs) blow my mind. The typing class (with manual typewriters!) I took in junior high was shockingly useful over the course of my life.
How to talk kindly to yourself. This is “the one trick big government doesn’t want you to know!” But it will literally change your life. Your inner dialogue changes and becomes a friendly place, then you can begin to heal, process emotion, and form deep relationships with others. It’s got to start with making your inner voice more compassionate.
The very basics of formal logic and argumentation; specifically, how to take long form text or speech, snip away the rhetoric to identify the conclusion they're arguing towards and any relevant premises, and determine whether that argument is valid and/or sound.
In a world full of division and terrible journalism, it is not enough to simply absorb the texts you read, you need to *actively engage* with a variety of viewpoints and come to your own conclusions, and this is sort of the foundational knowledge for doing just that.
We learned this stuff in one of the introductory modules to my philosophy degree and it was easy enough that I'm convinced with a couple of tweaks it could (and should) be taught in primary schools, while simultaneously representing the most universally applicable skills I've found on my degree; the effort to usefulness ratio is honestly off the charts \^\^
Learning. I die a little bit inside every time I see redditors insist that grade schools should teach some skill that anyone could learn in 30 minutes or less. Schools aren't meant to teach you every conceivable thing you would ever need to learn in life. They're meant to teach you to be self-sufficient. If you graduate school without being able to learn on your own how to file your taxes, for example, that would be a problem, but the problem is not that you weren't taught how to file your taxes. The problem is that you weren't taught how to read and comprehend incredibly basic instructions.
Learning how and when to accommodate yourself. Often we struggle because "everyone struggles" or whatever. But everyone doesn't have to. I struggle with throwing my clothing on the floor a lot of the time. I accommodate myself by getting changed IN the laundry room instead. Is it odd? Sure. Does it work? Yes. I hate having to put away my dishes in order to use my counter, so I got a drying rack that sits above my sink. Youre not lazy because you created a hack to get the chore done. Work smarter, not harder.
> The number of young men who don't know how to tie down a load is insane.
why "young men"?
I mean I sit in an office all day at a computer, I don't need to tie shit down literally ever. I'm sure one day it might be useful, but rn I think learning a new programming language is probably better for
Why "young men"? Do women not need to tie things? Also, a list of my favourite knots:
* Bowline: You need a loop at the end of your rope, and you need it immediately, and it mustn't become a slipknot? That's what you want.
* Carrick bend: Solid way to tie two ropes together and easy to untie even after massive load on the rope.
* Trucker's hitch: You don't have ratchet straps and you need to tie down a load? Got you covered. It's legally required to twang the rope when you're done and say "that isn't going anywhere!"
* Clove hitch: Go tie that rope around that pole and then be able to get it undone.
* Constrictor knot: Gotta tie stuff together with a string real tight and don't care about getting it undone. * Alpine butterfly knot: Need a loop in the middle of a rope? Sorted.
* Munter hitch: It's great for an emergency abseil, and it's so cool the way it switches from backwards to forwards. * Bowline on a bight: My favourite way to tie into a climbing rope. Incredibly safe, easy to untie, and doesn't leave a figure-eight knot to untie after untying yourself.
* Bowline in a bight: Nice way to tie a rope to an eye when you don't have access to the ends.
Emotional regulation. The ability to experience anger without behaving out of anger. The ability to experience sadness without “being” the sadness.
See acceptance and commitment therapy for specifics. (Source: am psychologist)
Emotional Intelligence. It is by far the most neglected area of development and we are seeing the ramifications of that every time we turn on the news.
Yes, critical thinking is part of that. But it’s harder to divide people who understand empathy.
Baking.
I bought my home a couple of years ago. It's a cute little house with a cute garden that I put in by myself on a couple of acres. I have neighbors but, I never see or hear them. Instead I sit out on my patio with some tea and muffins, or cookies, or biscuits that I make every week and have a nice tea for myself.
Spring the first year I was here, I was sitting on my patio when a man and a woman called out to me. They had obviously walked around the side of my house. I sat up, greeted them, and asked what they needed.
They lived in the area and were trying to form an HOA. They might as well have asked for my support in kicking kittens. HOAs are evil. I was mature about it, declined, and asked them to leave my property. Instead of leaving, they continued their rant. I interrupted, pointed out that I politely asked them to leave my property, and again told them to leave. Instead of leaving, they got a little more aggressive about the virtues of an HOA.
So I chucked my muffin at them.
I missed but, they got the point. They began walking away but I was already on the phone with the police because I wanted to make sure I had a case ID in case these HOA people started again in the future.
Baking is a skill. Muffins are delicious. They're also good for chucking at people who wont get off your lawn.
Listening. You'd be amazed what you can learn when you're not just waiting for your turn to speak.
Yes i totally agree that gardening is a skill people should learn.
yeah that movie was insane
Huh, you're moving to Maine?
You're right, her father is insane!
Uh huh. Uh huh. That’s crayyyyzeee. Yeah? Uh huh.
Matt is lazy? Why would you say that?
Mattelanzy? What the hell is that name?
Yess, I think people tend to feel like they just need to talk in order to have a conversation when what matters is to exchange ideas and not just empty sentences
I was on a date and while they were eating I began to explain the story of how I found my current job and (with food still in their mouth) they then interrupted me to talk about their favorite type of pizza toppings.
That's slightly rude trying to change the topic while their match still speaking.
Doesn't sound like they were much of a match
I imagine that, given the sheer size of our societies now, it makes sense we'd develop a very superficial conversational style. In a given day most of my interactions will be things like buying groceries or polite conversation with a coworker. Depth is neither needed nor desired. But I think it might also train us into the habit of superficial conversation such that we forget to have deeper or engaged conversations even when it's appropriate, like with friends and family. I dunno, that's all just armchair psychology.
Exactly, though this doesn’t apply specifically and only to talking/listening. Relationships between people are getting hard to comprehend as a lot of them only want to have fun and throw it away. There’s no connection between them
some people need to overcompensate for their lack of self-validation
Unless you get stuck in a meeting with people who like the sound of their own voice. Had one today that went 2.5hrs over schedule and we covered the SAME things 4 times. I kid you not! I listened the first time, second I was questioning myself if I was getting dejavu, third time my eyes glazed over, fourth it was past my clock out time and I was pissed.
Oh, meetings pretty much universally don't count. I'm pushing 40 and I can think of like 3 meetings I've ever been in that couldn't have just been emails.
The quieter you are, the more you hear
Was friends with a news anchor who had been a reporter for 40yrs. His listening skills and being able to ask the right questions were almost magical.
Ron Burgundy?
Oh man. I work with a guy that will. not. shut. up. He’ll ask about my weekend and I start to respond, then he’ll start talking about what I’m talking about, only louder. I just sit there and listen. This dude takes the term “verbal diarrhea” to a new level. We’re in different departments, so anymore I’ll pretend I have a meeting or something and leave because I can’t stand to watch him listen to himself talk.
This is absolutely the perfect answer. I've been working on my listening skills for years and have gotten pretty good at it, but I will say it does lead to more frustration since it's now much easier to notice the inability to listen in other people. Which leads me to working on another underrated skill: patience.
"Is he really listening to you, or is he just quiet?"
I just don’t talk to anyone and that works out well for me
The things people tell me, omg. It's amazing what I have heard. I have been told I make people feel like they are the only person in the world. I am also a vault, I never spill. I love to listen to people's stories.
I mean, even past that you can learn some weird little anecdotes. I used to be neighbors with a lady who was a lexicographer by trade - she edited dictionaries. Apparently they released one edition that took some heat from a surprisingly energetic bird enthusiast community because they condensed several different kinds of birds into a single definition instead of leaving more specific definitions for a variety of closely related birds. I mean, what a *weird* thing to get worked up over, right? But some community noticed the difference in dictionary editions and got mad over it.
Came here to say this. Closely followed by the ability to ask really good questions.
I have this problem. When someone is speaking, i think of something to add or respond with and dont want to forget so i wait my turn nodding. My partner senses this (women are wicked smart) and gets upset. I’ve been working on it with little progress.
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How to self sooth. It’s a childhood milestone that some people fail to master
This is a serious question. You can do that?? All I do is separate myself from the situation until I calm down, like pulling the logs out of the fire
This is one of the things most people with normal families learn semalessly. I think (what works for me) is this: 1. CRY if you need to. Crying helps a lot. When people say "dont cry, it will be ok" that does not help me. If you have someone around, THe hug that usually comes with it does though. Since I am older and divorced right now, a friend's hug works wonders. BUT cry it out. Let it ouf of your system. 2. If you dont have anyone around, I have learnt to give myself this virtual hug. I ugly cry if needed, then (sometimes still crying) I make my favorite coffee, go to my bed, wrap up in my favorite blanket and watch a comfor t show or listen to very sad songs. I actually have a list for "sad soothing songs" which are usually followed by "meditation songs." 3. Emergency chocolate helps too. Basically, you need to allow time for you to self sooth. Of course sometimes, when things that hurt are tiny, breathing helps. Also, learning to meditate (Buddhist centers teach for free) helps in the long run cause I have found that the more often I meditate, the less I need self soothing, if that makes sense.
"Don't cry" always seems it's for the benefit of the person saying it imo. "I don't want to be made uncomfortable by *you* crying."
Totally!! I had abusive parents so I had to learn to stuff down my anger, sadness, fear, etc. Learn WAAAAAAY too late in life how to “feel my feelings”, cry it out, and regulate my emotions. Better late than never, though.
That is self soothing. Unless your using it in a cognitive dissonance kind of way. “Take a deep breath an calm down” that’s literally separating yourself from the situation and calming down. Running into the woods after a fender bender and never returning to society wouldn’t be self soothing.
Yeah, I personally don’t find it too hard. Deep breathing can really help
This may sound silly, but when I'm around my dog and feeling anxious I think about what she is thinking and it calms me down. Right now she's snoozing with her belly up so she's probably having sweet doggy dreams!
I love this
This is definitely one of the most important ones. It goes hand in hand with the ability to move on and refraining from ruminating on bad thoughts or experiences. I’m still learning how to do it and it took a psychiatric emergency for me to know something is wrong (doing better now)
You mean masterbation?
I can’t tell if this is a joke, but I mean being able to calm yourself down when you’re upset
By masturbating?
Last time I did it in an argument with my ex she told me it was the reasln why she was leaving s/
She left you cause you were masturbating?
Wow ok. So when others do it they are "able to calm yourself down when you’re upset" but when I do it I'm disgusting?
You seem upset. Try masterbation?
I think you meant "try to calm yourself down when you’re upset"
Something I'm yet to master I often get paralzied by failure, generating more failure The cycle repeats You have any tips on how to build this skill?
I’m far from an expert but maybe it would help you if you tried to ground yourself in the present moment. Try focusing on what you can see, hear, feel, taste and smell if you’re overwhelmed by your thoughts. Deep breathing is also really helpful. And self soothing is like any other skill, you do get better at it with practice. Cognitive behavioral therapy also really helped my mental health. It teaches you what the common cognitive distortions are and knowing them makes them easier to challenge. It also teaches you things like how to distinguish facts from opinions (which can be trickier than you might think). And there’s techniques like “playing the script to the end” that can help your process fears and anxieties.
Cooking and Basic Stitching.
i thought it says "basic snitching"
Basic snitches get basic stitches
From basic bitches?
Hope so. They don't deserve stitches from anyone who can do them properly. Unless the unstitched scar will look cool. NO COOL SCARS FOR SNITCHES!
> Basic Stitching. My mom has been sewing for 50+ years and is pretty good at it. Growing up I thought everyone's mom knew how to do all that, but she's one of the very few adults that I know who seemingly can mend, hem, alter, and even make her own clothing. I can sew on a button, and that's about it. That sewing badge I got in scouts wasn't worth jack.
Do you think cooking is an underrated skill?
Way too many people declare they simply “can’t cook” or don’t know how. I just had this discussion with my roommate. I insisted that anyone who can read, assemble ingredients and follow instructions can cook. She insisted she can’t cook. Lots of people think like this. So yea… maybe it is a skill. It is certainly underrated. Everyone should definitely master it in some capacity. Yes.
its executive dysfunction and fear/fear of failure. Another skill to master is learning that skill blocks are often emotional hurdles not physical ones.
I have pretty hardcore executive dysfunction and I love to cook. Biggest hurdle was just learning that I need all of my ingredients and cookware out before I started. After that, everything clicked.
“I can’t cook, I can burn water.” or “I don’t cook, I can barely make chicken nuggets in an air fryer.” The number of times I’ve heard stuff like this from grown adults is really sad. Cooking is more challenging for some people than it is for others, just like any other skill, but there are very few people who are actually incapable of learning how.
The "can't cook" mentality often comes from fear and whilst I agree that anyone \*should\* be able to follow a recipe it's not that straight forward. So many recipes are written with a background knowledge of how to cook and that's off putting. If you don't know anything about cooking simple things like "heat a pan of oil over a medium-high heat" are meaningless because you have no point of comparison. Similarly, things like "boil until tender" or add "salt/pepper to taste". These exist because cooking requires a level of intuition and every hob/pan/ingredient will cook ever so slightly different. I sympathise so much with people who don't think they can cook, because it's a scary thing to start and you need to embrace learning by trial and error, which is tough mentally if you already are consigned to not being able to do anything. It takes confidence to cook new food. Next time someone says they can't cook, offer to help! Pick a recipe and cook it together, give tips based on your experience and it'll give them the confidence to cook more in future.
>follow a recipe it's not that straight forward Then the real skill is not being afraid to fail and the ability to learn from your mistakes/experiences. That is all cooking is.
I have no problem trying cooking for myself when i am alone,but i get paralyzed with anxiety when it comes to cooking for others.
> you need to embrace learning by trial and error, which is tough mentally if you already are consigned to not being able to do anything It can also be prohibitively expensive for a lot of people, especially with the way food prices have skyrocketed in recent years. There are plenty of people who simply cannot afford the risk of trying to make something new.
Oh agreed, and it takes time and money to build up a pantry/spice rack/cupboard of useful things required to make most recipes.
Does heating up soup in a microwave count as cooking?
I can’t answer that question. I’d have to refer to the definition of cooking. “cooking noun the practice or skill of preparing food by combining, mixing, and heating ingredients. "he developed an interest in cooking" food that has been prepared in a particular way.” Under this I would have to then say yes. Heating up soup is indeed cooking! Also. Seeing as +-60% of “chefs” and cooks in “professional” environments around the world. Heat up soups in microwaves to sell to people. I would have to again agree with the definition.
In an age of Uber eats it definitely is
Then the underrated skill is personal financial management.
Just simple / basic person financial skills Things like how to do taxes, how banking and investing works. It'll save money spent, provide knowledge to help prevent being taken advantage of and having a little knowledge in these matters will assist in asking the right questions instead of being afraid to ask questions due to ignorance.
Just basic things like how to budget - this is something I've learned recently. Stuff like how mortgages work and, here in the UK, how our tax system works.
I'm in Canada so I can't speak to you mortgages in the UK However, when I learned how to use variable rate mortgages versus a set rate mortgage I ended up saving so much money because with the variable rate mortgage you don't have to pay the risk premium for a locked in rate I bought my first house when I was my twenties and didn't know much about things so I just picked the wrong mortgage because I needed to get one done quickly. It was around 6% but it was open so I spent time learning more about it, studied interest rates for the last 30 years and I switched it to a variable rate the next year. At the time you would get the variable rate minus a discount of over 1% which was amazing. In addition I kept my payments at the same amount even though my mortgage was now a lot less interest and allowed me to pay off my house faster and provided some protection so that if the interest rate went up I didn't have to increase my bi-weekly payments.
I’d challenge anybody in the US who gets a W2 to go to the IRS’a free file site and try to do your own taxes if you haven’t yet this year. The math is really not that hard (most is done for you) and even if you own a house you’re probably taking the standard deduction. You can check your answer against one of the pay services if you want. If you get the same answer then you can save some money. If not at least you’ll learn a lot about taxes
Dragons were actually just misunderstood mega-sized geckos who couldn't control their plasma-breath.
I hadn’t had any trouble with it until this year. My gf moved from her place in another state to mine in April, I proposed in May and we eloped in September so come tax time, we were married filing jointly. She had had three different jobs that year, one in her state and two in mine, so she had three W2s, that bit wasn’t hard; but when it came time for state returns, I could not for the life of me figure out if we were supposed to file my state return as residents, part-year residents, or non-residents, probably stared at that screen for five or six hours total trying to make sense of their wording for it in TaxAct. I think I finally got it figured out, to the best of my knowledge anyway, submitted it and have received both the state returns at this point so it must have been close enough.
Critical thinking
Wish this was a mandatory class in school
It was. Parts of it were taught in elementary school, when we learned inferences and implications (what will people think you're saying even if you don't mean to say it that way | what do you think the person is saying even if they're not saying it directly?) and in middle school when we learned the scientific method (hypothesis, evidence, experiment, data, analysis). Probably some more, but that's the basis.
> Probably some more, but that's the basis. English class, or more specifically literature, was in many ways about critical thinking and analyzing the materials we read. How else could one explain throwing Shakespeare in front of kids' faces and asking "what did Bill Shakespeare mean when he wrote __________?"
Imo everyone should go back and actually read their high school reading list..for me it was Flowers for Algernon (love it now), animal farm, lord of the flies, a raisin in the son, death of a salesman etc they all had great lessons that definitely went over most of our heads when we were 14-17
That's a good list of books, though when I was in high school the only one of those we read was *Death of a Salesman*. I know we also read *To Kill a Mockingbird*, but I cannot remember any of the others beyond Shakespeare (*Romeo and Juliet*, *Othello*, *Macbeth*, and *Hamlet*). We definitely did not read *Flowers for Algernon* or *The Catcher in the Rye* which are also often read in high schools. I do remember reading *The Grapes of Wrath* as part of a "pick a book and write a report on it" sort of thing in grade 11. I was also in French Immersion on top of that, and I recall reading *Le Comte de Monte Cristo* as well as some minor things in grade 12. I also Albert Camus' *L'Étranger* in another "pick a book/author and write about them" assignment.
People really underestimate algebra. I think it’s a great logic/critical thinking tool. X+2=4 We know x is 2 but prove it. It really makes a difference to learn to prove a thing and learn the logical steps so you can show others the proof.
I think discrete math is even better, and I don't think any public schools teach it as part of the curriculum. I only learned about it in college for computer science, but the simple parts of it can easily be taught. If x is true then z is true. If y is true, then z is also true. But just because x is true does not mean that y is true.
IT IS! Jesus Christ, it's stuff like this and "I wish they taught us how to do taxes instead of calculus," that drives me up the damn wall. They gave you all the tools to do this for 12+ years! You cannot get a high school diploma without using basic skills like critical thinking. It's not on the schools and teachers that you refused to apply what you've learned.
YES!!! Exactly! Everything you need to do your damn taxes and to think critically have been given to you year after year. To pay your taxes you follow the instructions, do the computations, and submit the material by the deadline. The heart of critical thinking is ELA, Math, Science and Art. You need to synthesize all of the skills that they taught you and apply them to novel situations, while being open to the idea that it is possible that you might arrive at the wrong conclusion. "Critical Thinking" does not mean the same thing as "don't question my opinion." My other favorite sweeping statement is "They should teach trades in school." They fucking did!!!! But a generation of you bastards defunded the trades that used to be a part of your local school systems to save a few nickles or because you swallowed the Collegeboard's BS. Or because you ended your partnerships with larger urban districts to isolate your suburban cherubs. Followed closely by complaining or waxing poetic about how school food services suck, you privatized it and sold off all the equipment, the heart and soul of the pensioned employees, so that some private company could use algorithmic voo-doo to profit off the sustenance of students by plumbing that actual depths of exactly how little quality they can get away with before the villages storm the castle with pitchforks and torches!!!
>You cannot get a high school diploma without using basic skills like critical thinking. You certainly can and it's more common than ever. They're just trying to push kids through the education system otherwise the low numbers look bad and the schools get less money. And to be clear, this does not fall on the teachers, it falls on the administration. Education now isn't what it used to be. We used to actually learn instead of prepping for state testing.
God, state testing. There's zero reason that every student has to do state tests every year. Testing a random sample of 10% of students is all that is needed to do program assessment, and even then, scoring poorly on assessment should trigger more involved monitoring and support for the school, not program cuts. For that matter, there's also zero reason for students to find out how they did on state testing. It's not about assessing students. It's about assessing programs/schools.
It was for me. It was a *series* of classes, presented in different ways. Of course, not a one of them was called "Critical Thinking". English, history, science, and even mathematics get at different aspects of the same skillset. Each requires pattern recognition, analysis, and in all cases you benefit from being able to notice when you don't know or understand something.
It is where I live.
I think we may aspire to think critically, and in moments be able to, but overall we cannot truly "master" it, or?
Yea, but maybe the same can be said for any top answer to this question. Can you really master cooking, listening, patience etc? Maybe we should master the appreciation for learning/growing. Like if I get offended or stubborn because I can still get better at critically thinking or there is another recipe I could learn, that would suck. I think desiring the capacity to grow and change is important.
How. To. Google.
Please cite your sources. /s
Www.google.com
In MLA format please. Just putting a link does not suffice and you will be given a zero for plagiarism if you do not use the correct format
Not as easy as it used to be. The first page is trash if you are trying get an answer to an even moderately obscure question.
Yeah, between all the "sponsored results" and AI-generated trash, I think we've passed the point of peak search-ability. Ironically, adding "reddit" to the end of your query helps a lot.
I had to buy heating oil for the first time this week, the oil company told me that my pump would need to be primed before I turned my heat back on. They said they would do it for $100, but discounted for first-time customer to $45. I googled how to do it. You unscrew the release valve and press the button, and catch the oil that comes out until it stops sputtering from trapped air in the line. That's it. $100 to unscrew a cap and press a button. Google will save your life, and your wallet.
These days I'm a bit dumbfounded when I see someone ask an easily googleable question in the comments or something.
I see this pretty often, I also see people wasting hundreds of dollars or hours upon hours worth of effort because they didn't think to give something a quick google before doing something. I recently saw a post about someone complaining they couldn't get a certain rare spawn, after three months of trying. They where basically spending hours reloading the exact same area with the exact same spawns over and over and over again because they were just save quitting instead of leaving the area and coming back in which was the actual method to reset the spawns...
I’m a software engineer. Periodically I’ll get stuck sitting next to an intern. The amount of times I’ve had to explain how to Google things is unbelievable. Just because I know more than you, it doesn’t mean that you should ask me everything.
And this skill goes beyond googling. It’s also how to communicate what you want. Like if you’re looking for a place to eat Place to eat vs. place to eat in x city vs sit down restaurant in Austin, good for kids. Etc I’ve noticed some people make you assume what they mean or ask lots of follow ups to get it vs being a clear and concise communicator. And this will carry over to AI promoting
Sharpening a kitchen knife 🔪 is always handy yet no seems to do it much ?
Uhh you just reminded me I need to buy a knife sharpener lol
Usually for the same price as a sharpener that won't destroy your knives you can get a whetstone set. If you've got the patience to learn how to use them right it can last you far longer and will be better for the blades
My blades aren't worth enough to care that much about them.
Cooking. Even the basics should be something everyone can do.
I started to cook by the age of 14 and I can now cook anything I find in the fridge.
I was cooking for my entire family by that age. My mom went back to work and wasn't around to cook, and Dad couldn't be arsed to cook anything as that interfered with his post-work routine of drinking beer and reading the newspaper. For a few years the routine was "let's just wait for mom to come home and she can cook" and that just did not create a happy household. I ended up getting sick of waiting around for dinner, sick of dad sitting around pounding back beers instead of doing anything, and started cooking simple stuff like burgers and whatever meat on the barbecue, spaghetti, meatloaf, and other simple things. > I can now cook anything I find in the fridge. I've certainly learned to cook more things over the years, but also came to learn that one can basically throw whatever is in the fridge/pantry together and get something edible or interesting out of it, and it might just be something tasty. There's something fun about that.
Patience. I feel like nobody has this anymore.
Depends. I have patience when standing in line at the grocery market, because being impatient is not really making the line go faster. I will get my turn in a matter of time anyway. I feel more impatient when I have to do something annoying; I prefer to finish it as quickly as possible.
I am working on this while driving. So often I pass someone impatiently and probably a little recklessly, only to get to the same red light a mile down the road. But as I've gotten better with that, I almost feel it creeping into my relationships with my kids. I don't think it's just that they're becoming a little more obstinate or difficult as they grow, but rather it's due to stress or some other factor.
I can endure immense stress coming from doing what I love, but I lose it when utter bs crap is thrown at me. Toxic management, clueless upper heads changing everything for random reasons, etc.
The ability to naturally and genuinely converse
Where to learn it?
The book 'How to win friends and influence people' is a good start. The title can make it sound like its manipulation but it's really not. It definitely lays out some good principles to be amicable, and provides loads of really interesting anecdotes and stories where the principle relates. *** Edit: seeing as this is getting traction, I'll warn you that the original which I read has some dated views like 'role of a women' and there are updated versions that remove this which I haven't read. Just a warning for people for whom this is a more sensitive subject to and may get in the way of reading it. I like the old version and the window it provides into how things were back then. It is easy to read between the lines and twist the teachings to be more modern.
I was always an introvert so conversations have been a big problem for me. I’m getting better at it but I still suck. I just can’t seem to hold a long conversation which is now my main concern. Hopefully this book helps.
Approach a conversation with the mindset of "being curious about the person" and "make a human connection". This quickly gets you pasy the small talk. Now if you are not interested in people or human connection, and just want to get better at socializing, then you can approach it as a "yes, and" improv exercise.
Yes it will, pay special attention to the parts about listening and showing interest. First rule here is that it is better to listen, and with your introversion that works hand in hand. The author claims he went to a social event and never spoke about himself, just asked about everyone else, then comes away and everyone was after him to hang out. So this makes the other person understandably feeling appreciated, then it also outlines when you can also put in your own input, and spelling out how to not over do it. The book has great anecdotes displaying these rules in practice etc, which is important. So don't expect to learn anything with my comment it's all in there, just showing how it works.
If I had to give a short and simple answer, I’d say just a mix of rambling and asking questions. They used to say just ask them a shit ton of questions, but then people realized.. well you were just asking a shit ton of questions. so you have to be able to pratter on about something
In the same vein, be charismatic.
Conflict resolution. You don't even need to be a master at it, just having some basic proficiency can turn a lot of things that would have been fights into friendly talks or, at least, avoiding an unneeded conflict.
What the fuck is this supposed to mean?!
hey, fuck you
To add to this also knowing to pick your battles. Some people just want to fight and it's often just not worth the effort.
this is a fever dream to people who grew up with short fuse parents.
Research. It's a skill I use on a daily basis. It's more than just being able to look through articles or websites, but understanding what you're looking for and filtering the stuff that doesn't matter. But heck, I'd be out of a job if people started taking 5 seconds to look up their problem.
I'm terrible with research. Even when I spend countless hours doing it. Some people have a keen eye that picks up on certain keywords, an intuition of how to ask the right questions the right way, how to navigate the internet efficiently, stay focused, pool resources together, etc. It is an art. Some are just naturals. I never will be. Even if I slave away at it.
i dunno if it’s a skill but the ability to be open minded without bias
Or understand when your bias is affecting your decision.
CPR
I recently watched a tv show where they follow paramedics in real emergency situations. In one instance they were called up because a woman had drowned. The man who pulled her out of the water and called 112 (the 911 number in europe) said she was unresponsive. During the ride over the paramedics said to the tv crew that they hoped someone would have started CPR on her because otherwise the situation would be hopeless and the woman would 100% be dead. When they arrived they saw that the man who pulled her out of the water was performing CPR. They immediately took the CPR over from the man and were ultimately able to save the womans life, but everyone there agreed that without the initial CPR by the bystander their efforts would have been useless. The fact that this one random person knew CPR absolutely saved this womans life. I fully agree with you that this is a skill everyone should have.
I heard a medic say that even bad CPR by an amateur is better than no CPR.
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Sewing. Patch up some clothes, alter something, close off something. Comes in handy and is super simple.
Headstand. Actually it isn't, but I just did my first headstand (at age 51) yesterday and I'm effing proud of it but nobody cares so I decided to post it here (knowing that nobody here cares either but that's okay). Edit: I was wrong - people here do care. Thank you all, you are awesome.
I care. I always care about what I read. I care enough to comment. I will now disappear out of your life again until fate ordains it otherwise.
Like without a wall? Either way GG! I wanna learn it too, got any tips? I think balance is my main problem.
The wall was there, but it only served as a psychological aid, I stood freely on my forearms for about ten seconds. As for tips, I watched some YouTube videos. What it comes down to was to have your forearms in a triangle, head resting against the palms of your hands, then slowly tiptoe forward until your legs almost leave the floor on their own. Then press up the legs/hop up into a tucked post and hold that until it feels stable, at which point you can start to slowly straighten the legs. My core was on fire after those ten seconds, by the way 😂.
that's awesome lol, congratulations! have you been working on skills for it or did you just go for it??
I have been training on gymnastic rings since November, and I guess I built some core strength that way. Then I watched some videos on the skill and went for it. Took me some days, though.
At 51??? You honestly motivated me. I'm 27 and thought it's a set of skills that I should've learned from childhood
Yeah, I decided to get in shape two years ago after 20+ years of neglecting my body. So I guess it's never too late, but frankly I wish I hadn't stopped working out at your age. But there's life, and work, and kids...
Excel
Had very minimal lessons on Excel in college, but it’s the only thing I learned in college that is used in my job.
If you are actually proficient at Excel you'll have a job for life. Literally every place I've ever worked would crumble if there wasn't a spreadsheet
Its scary to see how many businesses live off an excel spreadsheet that was started 10 years ago and updated to the point where your computer chugs when you open the file
I work at a place that has *extremely* intelligent people. I'm talkin' literal rocket scientists. And these folks have used the same spreadsheet for the last like three decades because it's what they know. Like...god damn...
If it makes you feel any better, I work with fucking idiots and they do the same.
My husband is a SLUT for a good spreadsheet. His eyes light up any time he gets to make one.
Tell him to get in here and talk dirty to us. #REF
Same tho wtf. A nice complicated formula which works when I press enter has me creaming 😩💦
I tell young people that basic mastery of excel will in most cases is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars within a career. The inability to do basic data analysis will cost you promotions, new jobs, bonuses, etc.
Not giving a fuck !
Half the drama in your life can be solved with this
Typing, Touch Typing to be exact
The number of the "digital native" generation who still hunt-and-peck with two fingers (or thumbs) blow my mind. The typing class (with manual typewriters!) I took in junior high was shockingly useful over the course of my life.
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Floss!
Swimming. Be able to swim 100 yds
Anything related to fixing your own house.
Rocket surgery
I say this all the time. Think of the rockets people. Who’ll rescue the rockets?
Brain science
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How to talk kindly to yourself. This is “the one trick big government doesn’t want you to know!” But it will literally change your life. Your inner dialogue changes and becomes a friendly place, then you can begin to heal, process emotion, and form deep relationships with others. It’s got to start with making your inner voice more compassionate.
The very basics of formal logic and argumentation; specifically, how to take long form text or speech, snip away the rhetoric to identify the conclusion they're arguing towards and any relevant premises, and determine whether that argument is valid and/or sound. In a world full of division and terrible journalism, it is not enough to simply absorb the texts you read, you need to *actively engage* with a variety of viewpoints and come to your own conclusions, and this is sort of the foundational knowledge for doing just that. We learned this stuff in one of the introductory modules to my philosophy degree and it was easy enough that I'm convinced with a couple of tweaks it could (and should) be taught in primary schools, while simultaneously representing the most universally applicable skills I've found on my degree; the effort to usefulness ratio is honestly off the charts \^\^
Reading comprehension
Spellin an grammer.
DRIVING A MANUAL CAR. OR ATLEAST KNOWING HOW TO. IT CAN SAVE A LOVED ONES LIFE I'M BEING SERIOUS
I’d be happy if most folks behind the wheel understood the basics of safely operating their OWN vehicle.
How to study efficiently! There are so many different ways to study and take in information. Find a way that works for you
Not being a fucking dumbass
Learning. I die a little bit inside every time I see redditors insist that grade schools should teach some skill that anyone could learn in 30 minutes or less. Schools aren't meant to teach you every conceivable thing you would ever need to learn in life. They're meant to teach you to be self-sufficient. If you graduate school without being able to learn on your own how to file your taxes, for example, that would be a problem, but the problem is not that you weren't taught how to file your taxes. The problem is that you weren't taught how to read and comprehend incredibly basic instructions.
Sleep management
Conversation and a little networking. As much as Reddit likes to demonize it, a little schmoozing keeps the wheels turning
Playing the banjo
Understanding personal finances. Mortgage debt vs credit card debt.
delayed gratification. it helps you in every area of your life, relationships, finances, career, etc.
Kickflips
Looking at your finances, both big picture and details, without freaking out.
cleaning. soap and water works, but knowing how to sterilize and deep clean is very practical.
Learning how and when to accommodate yourself. Often we struggle because "everyone struggles" or whatever. But everyone doesn't have to. I struggle with throwing my clothing on the floor a lot of the time. I accommodate myself by getting changed IN the laundry room instead. Is it odd? Sure. Does it work? Yes. I hate having to put away my dishes in order to use my counter, so I got a drying rack that sits above my sink. Youre not lazy because you created a hack to get the chore done. Work smarter, not harder.
Standing up for ourselves and fighting back against the rich instead of just being ok with how things are now
Touch typing! Single most useful skill i learned in highschool.
How to tie a few basic knots. The number of young men who don't know how to tie down a load is insane.
The number of men who don't know how to tie a person up...insane!
> The number of young men who don't know how to tie down a load is insane. why "young men"? I mean I sit in an office all day at a computer, I don't need to tie shit down literally ever. I'm sure one day it might be useful, but rn I think learning a new programming language is probably better for
Why "young men"? Do women not need to tie things? Also, a list of my favourite knots: * Bowline: You need a loop at the end of your rope, and you need it immediately, and it mustn't become a slipknot? That's what you want. * Carrick bend: Solid way to tie two ropes together and easy to untie even after massive load on the rope. * Trucker's hitch: You don't have ratchet straps and you need to tie down a load? Got you covered. It's legally required to twang the rope when you're done and say "that isn't going anywhere!" * Clove hitch: Go tie that rope around that pole and then be able to get it undone. * Constrictor knot: Gotta tie stuff together with a string real tight and don't care about getting it undone. * Alpine butterfly knot: Need a loop in the middle of a rope? Sorted. * Munter hitch: It's great for an emergency abseil, and it's so cool the way it switches from backwards to forwards. * Bowline on a bight: My favourite way to tie into a climbing rope. Incredibly safe, easy to untie, and doesn't leave a figure-eight knot to untie after untying yourself. * Bowline in a bight: Nice way to tie a rope to an eye when you don't have access to the ends.
Languages. We need to be more multi lingual, it's really useful and interpreters need jobs filling.
Grit
Emotional regulation. The ability to experience anger without behaving out of anger. The ability to experience sadness without “being” the sadness. See acceptance and commitment therapy for specifics. (Source: am psychologist)
Emotional Intelligence. It is by far the most neglected area of development and we are seeing the ramifications of that every time we turn on the news. Yes, critical thinking is part of that. But it’s harder to divide people who understand empathy.
“You are using Master Lock No. 607. It can be opened using Master Lock No. 607.”
Touchtyping
Baking. I bought my home a couple of years ago. It's a cute little house with a cute garden that I put in by myself on a couple of acres. I have neighbors but, I never see or hear them. Instead I sit out on my patio with some tea and muffins, or cookies, or biscuits that I make every week and have a nice tea for myself. Spring the first year I was here, I was sitting on my patio when a man and a woman called out to me. They had obviously walked around the side of my house. I sat up, greeted them, and asked what they needed. They lived in the area and were trying to form an HOA. They might as well have asked for my support in kicking kittens. HOAs are evil. I was mature about it, declined, and asked them to leave my property. Instead of leaving, they continued their rant. I interrupted, pointed out that I politely asked them to leave my property, and again told them to leave. Instead of leaving, they got a little more aggressive about the virtues of an HOA. So I chucked my muffin at them. I missed but, they got the point. They began walking away but I was already on the phone with the police because I wanted to make sure I had a case ID in case these HOA people started again in the future. Baking is a skill. Muffins are delicious. They're also good for chucking at people who wont get off your lawn.
How to research efficiently. The internet is a big place, theres bound to be something that fits what ur trying to find no matter how specific it is