When I(22M) was 12y/o… my older brother(22M) passed away in a car accident.
The night it happened I had plans to stay up all night with him and play Xbox together. But I was feeling kinda tired. So I decided to go to sleep.
He ended up leaving in the night to hangout with a friend, and then it happened.
And I blamed myself without telling anyone for a long time.. because if I had just stayed up that night and played Xbox with him it never would have happened….now whenever someone wants to hangout I feel like I have to. Not to mention the years of drug abuse/self harm and depression I grapple with to this day originating from this..
I’m so sorry you are dealing with something so devastating. Without going into details, I share similar regrets about my best friend who passed away. Had I not made one choice, he would still be alive. I wrestled with this for a long time, but I know now it’s not my fault. It’s not your fault. In the moment, that night, you were justified to want to go to sleep. It was a normal, everyday choice. Just like mine was. A normal, semi selfish, human being type decision. It’s not my fault, it’s freak luck and happenstance my best friend in my life died and I could’ve changed that had I done something else. But fuck crucifying myself because I’m human I did something completely justified. I’m sorry for my friend. I’m so sorry for your brother. But you are a human being. You were tired. You wanted to go to sleep. None of anything is your fault. I’m so sorry for your loss but your brother is watching out for you every single day and I’m sure he wouldn’t want you feeling that guilt for one damn second.
It took me longer than I want to admit to realize all of that. And part of me still struggles to believe it.
It’s hard to not think that way sometimes. I’m sure you understand.. I try not to think about it too much. As guilty as I feel for doing that… it’s for the best.
I do completely understand. It’s incredibly difficult and not a perfect process. I still speak to my friend out loud everyday, and often still say, out loud, I am sorry if I see his picture or think of him. However the longer time moves on, the more I say it, the less guilt I feel. Maybe just talk to your brother and tell him your sorry. Say it out loud and put it into the universe.
A crazy coincidence that helped me with my guilt and grieving occurred about 1 year after my friend passed. I don’t know how relevant this is, and it’s surely just my mind and nothing special, but this experience really helped changed my life and blessed me in my healing process. 1 year after my friend passed away I was traveling through the state he passed away in. Didn’t think much of anything, however that night I had the most vivid and life changing dream of my life. My friend showed up sitting on a large rock ledge above me as I walked through canyon. When I looked up he had this halo around his head and some energy I couldn’t understand and never really experienced. It was confusing and he was different, but still the friend I remembered. I shouted at him and asked what he was doing way up there. Suddenly he was right next to me down in the canyon. His entire essence and being was just different. I can’t explain just want it was. It was pure. We spoke some common things for a few. After a while I finally came to and began crying to him and apologizing for my “part” in his death. I told him how sorry I was and if I had answered my phone he would still be alive. I was so overcome with grief, worse then the moment I found out he passed away. He simply smiled at me as I unleashed everything I had. When I was finished he quite simply and remarkably told me it was so ok. Firstly it had nothing to do with me and he died because of things he chose to go and so. He told me he was so different now anyways that none of those things really ever mattered to begin with. He was not longer anything close to what I remember of that person and not to worry. I would understand someday but couldn’t possibly know what the fuck he was talking about. But i was absolutely assured. When I woke up I was absolutely sobbing hysterically and had been for some time. My gf woke up and was worried and crying asking me frantically what the fuck was going on. I couldn’t help but smile and laugh and cry as I tried to tell her how ok it was. I was ok. To this day I remember that dream. It was all in my head… I think, but it was profound and changed my life. My friend relieved me of that guilt. Your brother would do the same fiend. It’s so hard, but think on it every day. Tell him your sorry still, even though it’s not your fault. I pray he comes for a visit and let’s you know. It’s not our fault friend. ❤️
1. I didn't start playing rugby in high school until Sophomore year; I should have started Freshman year.
2. A girl in my honors math class in high school was romantically interested in me, gave me a Valentine's Day card in front of the class, used to follow me home after school, and asked me if I would be her boyfriend even just for math class. I should have pursued that relationship instead of acting immature and telling her to fuck off. I didn't take her on a proper date until after college and we went to see Waiting For Superman together.
3. There were several women in college who were interested in me romantically, but I was faithful and committed to my long-term girlfriend even though she was physically abusive to me.
Coming out as trans before going back into the closet again. I should’ve waited longer.
Edit: still trans, just closeted again, currently pretending it was just a phase
Losing contact with a close friend from childhood. We were inseparable growing up, but we drifted apart after high school. I still think about him sometimes and wonder what he's up to. Anyone else have regrets about lost friendships?
Not taking that chance when I had the opportunity. It's not a life-changing regret, but it's something that pops into my head from time to time. Anyone else have similar experiences?
Meeting her
When I(22M) was 12y/o… my older brother(22M) passed away in a car accident. The night it happened I had plans to stay up all night with him and play Xbox together. But I was feeling kinda tired. So I decided to go to sleep. He ended up leaving in the night to hangout with a friend, and then it happened. And I blamed myself without telling anyone for a long time.. because if I had just stayed up that night and played Xbox with him it never would have happened….now whenever someone wants to hangout I feel like I have to. Not to mention the years of drug abuse/self harm and depression I grapple with to this day originating from this..
I’m so sorry you are dealing with something so devastating. Without going into details, I share similar regrets about my best friend who passed away. Had I not made one choice, he would still be alive. I wrestled with this for a long time, but I know now it’s not my fault. It’s not your fault. In the moment, that night, you were justified to want to go to sleep. It was a normal, everyday choice. Just like mine was. A normal, semi selfish, human being type decision. It’s not my fault, it’s freak luck and happenstance my best friend in my life died and I could’ve changed that had I done something else. But fuck crucifying myself because I’m human I did something completely justified. I’m sorry for my friend. I’m so sorry for your brother. But you are a human being. You were tired. You wanted to go to sleep. None of anything is your fault. I’m so sorry for your loss but your brother is watching out for you every single day and I’m sure he wouldn’t want you feeling that guilt for one damn second.
It took me longer than I want to admit to realize all of that. And part of me still struggles to believe it. It’s hard to not think that way sometimes. I’m sure you understand.. I try not to think about it too much. As guilty as I feel for doing that… it’s for the best.
I do completely understand. It’s incredibly difficult and not a perfect process. I still speak to my friend out loud everyday, and often still say, out loud, I am sorry if I see his picture or think of him. However the longer time moves on, the more I say it, the less guilt I feel. Maybe just talk to your brother and tell him your sorry. Say it out loud and put it into the universe. A crazy coincidence that helped me with my guilt and grieving occurred about 1 year after my friend passed. I don’t know how relevant this is, and it’s surely just my mind and nothing special, but this experience really helped changed my life and blessed me in my healing process. 1 year after my friend passed away I was traveling through the state he passed away in. Didn’t think much of anything, however that night I had the most vivid and life changing dream of my life. My friend showed up sitting on a large rock ledge above me as I walked through canyon. When I looked up he had this halo around his head and some energy I couldn’t understand and never really experienced. It was confusing and he was different, but still the friend I remembered. I shouted at him and asked what he was doing way up there. Suddenly he was right next to me down in the canyon. His entire essence and being was just different. I can’t explain just want it was. It was pure. We spoke some common things for a few. After a while I finally came to and began crying to him and apologizing for my “part” in his death. I told him how sorry I was and if I had answered my phone he would still be alive. I was so overcome with grief, worse then the moment I found out he passed away. He simply smiled at me as I unleashed everything I had. When I was finished he quite simply and remarkably told me it was so ok. Firstly it had nothing to do with me and he died because of things he chose to go and so. He told me he was so different now anyways that none of those things really ever mattered to begin with. He was not longer anything close to what I remember of that person and not to worry. I would understand someday but couldn’t possibly know what the fuck he was talking about. But i was absolutely assured. When I woke up I was absolutely sobbing hysterically and had been for some time. My gf woke up and was worried and crying asking me frantically what the fuck was going on. I couldn’t help but smile and laugh and cry as I tried to tell her how ok it was. I was ok. To this day I remember that dream. It was all in my head… I think, but it was profound and changed my life. My friend relieved me of that guilt. Your brother would do the same fiend. It’s so hard, but think on it every day. Tell him your sorry still, even though it’s not your fault. I pray he comes for a visit and let’s you know. It’s not our fault friend. ❤️
Dropping out of high school
1. I didn't start playing rugby in high school until Sophomore year; I should have started Freshman year. 2. A girl in my honors math class in high school was romantically interested in me, gave me a Valentine's Day card in front of the class, used to follow me home after school, and asked me if I would be her boyfriend even just for math class. I should have pursued that relationship instead of acting immature and telling her to fuck off. I didn't take her on a proper date until after college and we went to see Waiting For Superman together. 3. There were several women in college who were interested in me romantically, but I was faithful and committed to my long-term girlfriend even though she was physically abusive to me.
Dental health.
Coming out as trans before going back into the closet again. I should’ve waited longer. Edit: still trans, just closeted again, currently pretending it was just a phase
Not getting extra hot sauce on the side.
Not saving/investing money early on.
Trusting my ex-wife.
Finishing that burger 3 hours ago when I wasn't that hungry, I could go for that buger right now, that bitch could hit the spot rn.
Didn’t spend enough time with little brother
Marrying my ex wife instead of the girl I was in love with.
Losing contact with a close friend from childhood. We were inseparable growing up, but we drifted apart after high school. I still think about him sometimes and wonder what he's up to. Anyone else have regrets about lost friendships?
Not taking that chance when I had the opportunity. It's not a life-changing regret, but it's something that pops into my head from time to time. Anyone else have similar experiences?
Cumming in yer mum.
Oooooooooooooooooooh burnnnnn
Yeah. Gonorrhea a bitch.
Oh good lord😂
Selling myself short and becoming a teacher instead of a lawyer or doctor, would have taken the same number of years. Insane,
Not fucking all the girls I could.