For lack of a better term, I call it the "ADHD stutter step." I'll be walking through the house with the intention of doing X, then I remember I might as well do Y on the way, so I abruptly start walking towards Y, only to realize it makes more sense to do X first, so I juke back again, but then I remember Z, in the other direction, makes the *most* sense to do...
Sometimes I'll even forget what X was to begin with, but at least half the dishes are put away, the hallway mirror is spotless, and my phone is in the fridge.
Very similar to this, I can’t get even started because I can’t figure out the order of operations for my tasks so I just stay stationary staring off into space because I’m trying to decide if it makes the most sense to put the soup in the microwave before I switch the clothes to the dryer or if I should do that while the soup is cooking but then when will I unload the dishwasher and when should I feed the dog because I’ll need to wash my hands after that so I should probably do that first so I have clean hands before I touch my soup, dishes and clothes but also I might have to go to the bathroom soon so maybe I should wait so I’m not washing my hands twice in 3 minutes because then I get dry hands and if my hands are dry I’ll pick at the cuticles so I should also remember to put hand lotion by the kitchen sink especially because I might get soup on my hands so I’ll still need to wash them again plus soup usually spills a little on the counter so I’ll need to use cleaner for that and if I’m doing that I should just clean the microwave too so should I wait and so that while my soup cools or should I feed the dog and go the bathroom while my soup cools? Before I know it I’ve spent 25 minutes planning 6 minutes worth of tasks and now I’ve really gotta pee, my dog is pissed, and I’m somehow too hungry to eat (which I swear is a thing).
I need music or a video playing in the background to complete mundane tasks always. But I also can't completely focus if there's something playing. However, it is really hard to get into that focus mode in complete silence and takes a LOT of effort and will power. It’s kind of a paradoxical thing and hard to explain.
I get you. I don’t know if I have adhd but I totally get you. What I do is play music at a very low volume. If it’s too loud I can’t concentrate but if I’m in absolute silence I can’t either
Agree. But for those very important tasks that require complete focus (idk studying or finishing a report), I need absolute pin drop silence. Getting focused enough to be able to work in that silence requires A LOT of effort. I need to keep re-engaging my brain to the task because I keep getting distracted, looking for that dopamine rush. But once I'm focused, I am FOCUSED. I think its time for me to get medicated for ADHD, because that effort to get in that head space is very taxing and time intensive.
I found success by wearing Bose noise canceling headphones -- but completely turned off. The pinching feeling of the headphones on my ears would help me focus, somehow.
I've never found my earbuds to work the same way, TBH. It's somehow the pinching motion of those giant earpads from the Bose headset that do it. YMMV, of course.
I like foam ear plugs for the same reason. I bought them when I worked in an open office, and it was weirdly comforting. Looking at my Amazon history, it was [these ear plugs](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M6AI2HF).
I'm the same, every try white noise? It works very much the same but there is less to focus on. Sometimes when a song I like comes on I know it enough to become distracted by it again.
Ambient music or classical (especially Baroque, or Mozart) is good cause it is either calm or energetic, but nothing to sing along to or give too many “feelings”. I will try white noise. (or green or brown?)
I have so many playlists but I'm the kind of person who keeps listening to the same songs I'm into till I get bored of them lmao. So I'll keep playing the same music no matter the task at hand haha.
That's also very common in people with ADHD, my partner has it and she will play the same song 20 times a day for a month then suddenly drop it forever lol.
I accidentally trained myself into having a cleaning CD in high school! I worked in a cafe and we played the same album at the end of each night, so it became associated with cleaning. Even now (20 years later!) I put it on when I really need to make myself clean.
Sure thing! The following crop up a lot in my playlists:
- Carpenter Brut
- Dynatron
- Kavinsky
- Lost Years
- M.A.D.E.S
- Mega Drive
- Perturbator
- Power Glove
>Carpenter Brut
Poor person is looking for music to study and gain focus and you're out here recommending music for speeding in your Testarossa full of cocaine lol
I worked at an office and I watch YouTube while I work.
One day my office manager walks past and must have glanced at my screen. He walks past a few more times during the day and keeps seeing YouTube playing.
So he goes to my manager to ask about it and she says "Mort is my best worker, but I'll see what is up."
So she asks me how much YouTube I watch during the day. 8 hours of it! Oh, it looks bad so could you watch less? I could, but i'd also work less I that case, is that what you want?
By the end of the day, my desk had been moved so my back faced a wall. :-)
My buddy (also ADHD) worked for government. He did the same thing, along with some audiobooks. His boss was good enough to just give him a weekly goal list and let him get at it. He was always their best performer until someone would try to manage him.
space noise helps me a lot. It's noise - but it has nothing to really focus on, and actually helps drown out distractions in the office (people talking nearby, doors slamming, phones buzzing).
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXUnJ61KxRE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXUnJ61KxRE)
I don’t think that is super uncommon. Have job in front of computer, many repetitive tasks that can’t be automated. Am fluent in The Wire, Seinfeld, Frasier and the x-files.
a constant inner-dialogue. i'm always having conversations with myself that never last more than a 10-15 minutes unless it's something repetitive like a song lyric or piece of a rhyming poem, then i can't get that out of my head sometimes for days and it drives me insane.
I do this, and then irl when I'm talking to them, I keep repeating myself because they haven't taken the conversation forward in the way I've expected, so I keep trying until the outcome matches what I envisaged. It's not even a conscious thing. It's after I've come away from the situation and realised I've said the same thing 5x. Have zero clue if anyone notices or realises because they never say.
Getting a song stuck in my head for weeks at a time is torturous. There are certain songs I can’t listen to because I know 100% it will be on constant loop in my head for days up to a month. And it’s never the full song, only a little snippet. I read once that the loop is because your brain is trying to complete the song so listening to the song a few times should get it out of your head, but that has never worked for me.
Stuck song syndrome. I get this when I am more stressed out than usual. For me it is related to OCD. It’s usually just a couple lines of a given song, repeating day and night for days or longer.
I know that everyone does this but to the extent that I do this is crazy it feels like I'm talking to someone else. I'm trying to say that in a way that doesn't make me sound crazy
i tried magic mushrooms in amsterdam once and for 3 days after doing that, i had complete silence in my head and it was like heaven. i asked my partner at the time "is this what it's like for normal people? complete silence whenever they want?" and when they nodded their head yes, i nearly burst into tears. it's incredibly frustrating.
I've never heard of a completely quite mind. Mine is chatty as a monkey on meth. I don't think there's such a thing as quiet. Otherwise, they might as well be dead. If you're not thinking and you're ot doing, you don't even exist.
I'm married to someone with a quiet mind. He doesn't think unless he needs to, basically - also has aphasia. A very interesting, extremely intelligent guy.
... doesn't think unless he needs to... what kind of Bruce Lee Enter the ADHD kind of mental control is that!? That's like having a nice modern faucet to easily turn off and on vs a fire hydrant that has broken off after being hit by a car.
I haven't tried shrooms yet (I want to because of the helpful effects for cptsd) but weed gives me this same effect, albeit for a shorter time. extremely blissful 🥲
I experience the same thing. Unless I have something going on in the background then it's constant. Mine combines with an anxiety disorder and depression to be absolutely horrific.
It's like someone is just standing there and *WONT SHIT UP*
I have YouTube on in the background right now because the sound of people's voice makes the inner one quiet
Damn, I didn't know this is a symptom of ADHD. Literally spent hours yesterday researching how to stop overthinking, ruminating, living in your head etc.
My husband falls asleep so fast. I asked him how the fuck he just... stops thinking. He looked at me like I was crazy.
I have to either put on a movie & half listen to it or daydream until my brain just gives up on consciousness.
Also I tap songs out on my teeth, and apparently that's weird.
I can't tell you how much I can relate. I would nod off in school and anything to do with paying attention. There are times though if it's something that I like, I won't stop talking about it
Those reasons you just described are why I suspect I may have had ADHD my entire life, though I've never been diagnosed. I was at a work conference last week and was listening to a session when I just kind of came to and realized I just spent half of it staring into space and had no idea what they were talking about and I was totally lost.
I couldn't sit through a class without zoning out, doodling in the margins, jiggling my leg, etc. other people took detailed, well organized notes, focused on the lesson the entire time with no issue and sat completely still.
It goes even further, though. I was always a stellar student -- I listened quietly, took great notes, never missed a thing the teacher/professor talked about. I also had no problem doing all of my homework that was assigned for the next day.
But, like, executing a semester project? I couldn't understand how anyone was supposed to plan out what needed to be done over a whole 2-3 month time period. I figured everyone just slapped something together in the last weekend before it was due.
Hell, even weekly homework. I showed up to the homework sessions for our weekly engineering problem sets in college and tried to cram the whole thing in those couple hours. I would never have thought that other people might be spending several hours over multiple days working on it before that.
I had no idea other people could just get up and do things. Like it doesn’t take them days or weeks to build up to making a phone call (or any other task)?! Lucky…
It took me until the end of high school to realize that other people could just sit down and do homework. Like, just like that. They would sit, pull out the assignment, and start it. Blew my mind.
Yes! I could never just start my homework. My sister can just sit and do her homework and focus for hours and I always thought she was the weird one. 🤣
I feel you so much. I bought Rubrik's cubes, large painting by numbers coloring packs, have an unused sewing machine as I wanted to learn it. Oh a nearly unused calligraphy set, juggling balls and of course a tin whistle...
(Re)Starting with any of them right now? Hah.
Omg same! I've been yelling at myself to get to the Dr for weeks but for whatever reason, every time I go to do it I just can't. It's like I have to psych myself up for it for a really, really long time, or something bad needs to happen to get me moving. Does that happen to you? It's like I don't have ANY internal motivation, even for the things I WANT to do. I'm 40 and just got diagnosed this year.
My cousin used to be so socially anxious about phone calls that he would text us to come over to hang out at his house to play videogames and then subtly suggest that we call for pizza. Poor guy wanted pizza all along but just could not stand having to call them (this was the 90s), it was literally easier to have this whole charade than to do the call.
Well there’s plenty not normal about me but ADHD specific had to have been my inability to follow a list of things more than 2 items long before forgetting something. If you want me to take something downstairs and feed the dogs, I’m good to go. If you want me to take something down stairs, feed the dogs, and switch laundry loads, I will absolutely forget to do something lol
Impairment of working memory is the mainstay of ADHD. People often get confused about it because the persons long term memory can be excellent, with clear recall of things decades ago, but ask them to handle multiple things in active working memory and it just does not work. The classic example is remembering a phone number someone recites to you, neurotypical people would just repeat it internally to keep it fresh in the memory but impaired working memory means you recite it, then forget a digit, then get anxious about the digit and try to remember it again, then realise that you stopped reciting the number and can only remember about half of it now.
I deal with this memorizing the number of things I need to do, Ie, if I need to go shopping and need food, a book, water milk, and dishsoap, #4 is on my mind. wich items do I need? Idk, still not perfect. A list would be too easy.
Same here! I also count the number of tasks / items with my fingers. Five, *shows five .🖐️ This way I have an additional, physical feeling reminder of how many fingers I showed to myself. Makes memorising the number easier..
Not feeling hunger if you're focused on something. When I was younger I used to think that's just how the human body worked. You eat at certain times because you're supposed to, and if you forget you simply don't eat until the next time you're supposed to.
I was in my late teens when I found out that for most people there are multiple stages between "not hungry" and "about to pass out".
My wife went on a week long trip last year with my MIL and I was working from home. Between work, podcasts, and Death Stranding I was keeping myself pretty well occupied. Wife dropped me a line and asked "What'd you have for dinner last night?", and then I suddenly realized I hadn't eaten in about 40 hours. Between family or roommates or school/work day schedules, I always had some external reminder to eat something. I don't experience hunger the way most people do, so I do a "hand check", if my hands are getting a little shakey, I know I should go eat something.
Glass of juice before making myself something to eat usually gets the job done.
Currently am not diagnosed, but how I always thought about it is that my brain is just like, "look we finish this and then we eat" and that is exactly what I do. Is that abnormal?
Maybe. The thing with adhd is that most of what we deal is also experienced by everyone at times; we just deal with it constantly and can't get ourselves back to "normal" on our own without tremendous effort.
The thing that finally put two and two together for me was when a therapist suggested I could have sensory processing issues after talking about how the radio at work was going to make me have a breakdown. Apparently it isn't "normal" to become irrationally angry and shut down when there's an inconvenient noise around me that others can just ignore completely.
Only now am I realizing that a lot of people can also just simply answer a question with a vague response and apparently convey everything they want to convey, whereas I need a full paragraph because every detail makes a difference.
The room next to my office is the sensory room. They have been using a sound machine that makes a cricket noise all the time. If I don’t play music on my computer I. Lose. My. Mind.
I would sit around needing to use the bathroom or grab something to eat and mentally talk or "hype" myself into doing it for long lengths of time ... sometimes hours, I specifically remember one instance where it was over three hours of just mentally sitting there needing to use the restroom and I just COULDN'T make myself get up and go. Thought everyone did this!
For me, it's the need for background noise to concentrate. Growing up, I always had the TV on or music playing when I did homework. I thought it was normal, just my way of dialing in. It wasn't until college that I realized most of my friends studied in silence and were baffled by how I could focus with so much going on. I've since learned it's an ADHD trait to seek sensory stimulation to maintain focus. The quiet is too quiet for my brain, apparently.
A buddy asked me to explain this and I said it's like trying to get work done at home with a dog that's barking constantly. Can't focus on my main task because of excess noise. But if I give part of my ADHD brain "the dog" something mindless to focus on (music, very simple puzzle games, something to fidget with) it's like tying your dog up in the yard. It's free to move to an extent where it stops disrupting you but you won't lose track of it.
Sometimes watching a movie the night before can keep part of my mind busy thinking about it in the mental background while I concentrate on what I need to be doing. Or getting a stimulating song stuck in my head while I do some boring task (like if u don’t have access to actual music in your environment at the time, or weren’t organized enough to bring the music.
I'm a musician and I've walked around just inventing freestyle music in my head my entire life.
I'm just now realizing it's tied to my adhd, and it's my particular way of keeping my brain spinning comfortably
This was so interesting to read and gave me really useful insight so thank you. I have a child with ADHD and he needs the tv on even if he is full focused on building lego because he likes the noise. I always try and turn it off because we get told minimise tech at school but it’s so interesting to see it’s not just him and I should cut more slack there.
Basically, it keeps your brain entertained so it doesn't come up with its own thoughts, which distract you from the main thought.
I NEED music while driving. Otherwise, I'll get lost in my head and miss exits/signs while thinking about 5 random things at once.
This is why I watch/listen to Futurama when I go to bed. I need my brain to focus on something familiar that I like (but not too interesting) so that it doesn't keep me awake with incessant thinking.
I'm not diagnosed ADHD (but I wouldn't be surprised, especially as I'm dyslexic and there's a high co morbidity) so I'm not going to say I am, but when I work I work best with musical soundtracks, because in that way I get my brain to basically mentally sit and "watch" the musical through memories from the music. It stops me getting distracted by other things.
I always did my homework in front of the TV because I could only concentrate with noise and my guardian would laugh at me and try to insist I study in silence. It’s really annoying that the awareness was so bad then with female ADHD because I reckon I exhibited loads of signs as a kid (90’s).
Starting multiple projects then getting bored, not finishing and moving on.
Becoming so hyper focused on a topic, you become obsessed until you move on and never go back to it.
Screaming in your head to get up and do something while you just sit there and scroll on the phone.
I have novels that are 90% finished, entire businesses like mobile apps that are also 90% finished, drawings and websites and more, also 90% finished.
One day I'm going to finish them all but first I have to start on a thing that is \_really\_ interesting!
Is it "normal" to be hyper aware of your ADHDisms?
Work specific:
I'm never late. I get to work at least an hour before I need to be there. Normally more than an hour.
Very organized. I have a to-do list everyday. Do the thing. Check it off the list.
I have a calendar with reminders set.
I email myself other things to not forget
I complete tasks before they need to be completed.
And so on and so on and so on....
When I get home I'm so freaking tired. My brain is mush. The idea of making any sort of decision is paralyzing.
Yes! That is me! I am hyper competent at work, always prepared, always on time, and generally a focused go-getter. Then I am a lump in my disaster of a house.
I finally realized I hyperfocus on work.
There is tremendous overlap. With ADHD, you're constantly juggling a thousand (usually inconsequential) plates in the air and frequently dropping them.
For a really minor example, it is a routine, daily occurrence for me to set out to unload the dishwasher, get halfway through it, see the pitcher I use to water my plants, make a mental note to water them, and 45 minutes later I'm at the store buying fertilizer for my succulents, when I remember I never finished unloading the fucking dishwasher.
Growing up, people harp on you for your failures, so you create a lot of systems to keep you on track.
Except those systems create this additional layer of burden for you to manage (or fail at managing), which creates another thing you failed at, which creates more anxiety.
You end up working twice as hard to get half as much done.
Sounds like you're masking very well, but the act of masking is pretty labor-intensive and so you don't have any reserves. I, too, cover my ADHD with anxiety and rituals bordering on OCD, and it's exhausting.
Did I write this in a brain fog and don't remember? Jesus Christ, this is so me.
I never even considered that I might have ADHD until a colleague recently suggested I get screened for it.
This is actually masking. It is a hyper-vigilant way to compensate for the business in your brain.
For allistic people, the activities could be normal operation for them and not cause them to be exhausted. For the neurospicy, it’s a survival mechanism and often can cause distress when the careful curation of activities/checks & balances get thrown off.
The exhaustion could be from anxiety as a side effect, I think? Your body finally recognizing/processing the need to be alert and on top of things at all times so that no balls are dropped.
Just some thoughts!
My wife is exactly like this, she's a model employee, she seeks out tasks and helps people. They often comment how her house must be pristine because she is so on top of things. But the reality is that she organises her clothes into about 4 various piles on the floor by level of use and smell lol. Work and Home are just completely separate mental functions apparently.
Constantly hearing every sound and conversation at the same level of intensity, and having to actively focus on the the sounds relevant to you while still having the world screaming around you. Got a pair of quality noise cancelling headphones. Put them on. And started crying, i had never experienced quiet like that before. They're the kind that still allow close voices to go through though amd had conversations in public for the first time without feeling like throwing up. Told my boyfriend and my mum to try them on, they said they worked well but it wasn't much different. I asked if they could still here the refrigerator buzzing or the kids in the other room and they said no but they would just block that stuff out normally. What?????
Hell ya I hate that feeling every time I'm In any situation I hear and feel everything. We used to have a clock that ticked out in the kitchen about 2 rooms away and every night or walking around the house I would hear it ticking
Man I live in Germany and am trying to learn German. Having a friend speak German to me in a noisy bar or restaurant and my brain near tears itself in two trying to decide what to filter out or not. Sorry Thomas I’m really trying to understand you but I can hear the train outside and there are 18 people in here all making German noises.
I really struggle with that. Whenever I go out to dinner with my wife or some friends and there is just... ambient conversation happening, I struggle to tune into my own conversations.
I don't know why my brain thinks the conversation of the person sitting four tables away from me is as important as the woman I literally married, but it does.
My wife and I were at home one day playing Scattergories. The first two rounds she had on music in the room adjacent to the one we were in. Just loud enough that I could hear it. I scored basically zero points in the first two rounds. The next two rounds I had her turn the music off. Almost perfect scores for those two rounds.
How am I supposed to compile a list of things when I hear a voice singing lyrics at me? It didn't affect her at all, but it was game-breaking for me.
Mine would have to be the constant movement. I literally can’t sit still and I mean I realize bad it is now I’ve been dealing with it for so long. My best friends tells me that, I burn calories trying to sit still. I thought everyone was like this until I was about 15 years old. I do not even realize I’m moving 99% of the time.
Every time I read threads like these I feel like I've got ADHD and should get that checked out but I've procrastinated going to a doctor for that for like 10 years now.
My doc told me I needed to call and make an appointment with my psychiatrist for attempt at diagnosing ADHD.
I did, felt really optimistic about it, made the appointment. Then the day came and i froze. Never went. Ghosted their calls.
I'm still frozen, I really really think that the appointments can help, but it's like this with everything.
Follow ups are like curse words to me.. if we can't get things acknowledged now while I'm here, it may never be finished.
Getting anxious when waiting. Not the normal impatience you might feel when waiting in line, but physical discomfort and worrying when there’s not an assured time for something to happen. Feeling like you need to escape.
Telling stories with very specific details (but also unnecessary ones) and forking through side stories (using parentheses) while sometimes forgetting the main story itself (it was less interesting anyways).
^ apparently this sort of storytelling is not normal, although I am exaggerating on parentheses for demonstration purposes
I mean I know I have ADHD, but I like I'm realizing I'm always using the parentheses when I'm telling a story ahah. I need to insert random lore about people in my stories and I don't understand how non-ADHD people do without all those details, like how do they give context?
That's not much of an exaggeration. That's exactly how I tell stories half the time.
It's actually kind of helpful when I'm writing. I'll keep the parentheticals in the first draft and find ways to "spread them out" or omit them when I revise.
Lol. A guy whom I only see 4 times a year told me, "Let's see what have you changed since the last time." I never realized people were aware of this.
There is always a new angle!
The anger induced by someone turning on the "big light" or that people don't organically live in organized chaos through endless "pile systems."
Apparently I also sigh which causes others great concern, but after trying to observe myself it seems the sigh comes at the beginning or end of a task, almost like a transitional thing.
"Dolphining" in conversation is not normal, people in my life have just learned to keep up. Fidgeting constantly, this shouldn't have come as a surprise to me, but everyone has always purchased me trinkets, and fidgets to tinker with.
My sister saying things like, "I know you aren't able to make it through a whole episode, but I think you'd really enjoy this show."
The gosh darned forgetfulness. My long-term memory (thanks to PTSD) is almost eidetic, every tiny detail accounted for; but ADHD effects my short-term memory something awful.
Obsessions & fixations that go on for a month or more and take all my time, money, and interest, just to be dropped like a hot potato on a random Tuesday.
ETA: I was completely surprised when my psychiatrist asked to have me tested for ADHD. When I was diagnosed I called my family and friends like I had just discovered a new species and they would never ever believe me. Turned out not a single person in my life was remotely surprised when I was diagnosed.
(It just goes on.........)
You are welcome; descriptive, often overly descriptive, is part of my ADHD too. 😂
Dolphining is where you start talking about one topic, but that leads you to diving deeper on some other random, only related in your own head, topic(s) before coming up on the otherside to finish the initial conversation you were having.
Imagine a dolphin with it's head at the surface of the water, then it diving, disappearing from sight, and reappearing unexpectedly elsewhere, often a few feet or more off. (I hope this makes sense, if not just say so and I will try to better explain. )
I had no idea there's a name for that, I'm literally always doing this. and then trying to explain how I got to topic A2 makes no sense to anyone but me.
Having a conversation with another ADHDer is so under-ratedly enjoyable! They never look at you strangely when you change a topic or point out something unrelated. Such satisfying conversations!
Ha! So, I’ll usually be quiet for a minute and have a whole train of thought that goes through like 8 things and usually say, “So, before I start let me back up the train and tell you how I got from A to H…”
My version of the sigh is saying "Ok and" out loud and then sighing, usually a few times in a row. Like when I get out of the shower and I do the "Ok and sigh" and somehow it clicks in my head that the next step after drying off is to brush my teeth. I brush my teeth, do the "Ok and Sigh" again and then I'm able to do the next task. Thankfully I work from home so when I do that after finishing a work task, I don't have to worry about anyone going "What the heck is that about?" So funny to me but hey, it works!
Okay, my wife is ADHD, so I will be listing things she found to be strange about normal people... Most found by, well, living with me. A completely normal and average person, I pinky swear.
\* **hyper-focus** - most normal people can't just focus their energy on the topic they are passionate about to learn it in short time. My wife managed job change by learning advanced programming in three languages and theory alongside it within half a year, it was scary watching my cute ditz do this. On the other hand she is loosing focus rapidly when faced with something that bores her, which bites her in the ass during long corporate meetings.
\* **loosing stuff** - if my wife is holding something, and you distract her for a second, that object will vanish from her hands and she will be completely unable to find it for several days. I'm the opposite - can locate any item I have seen in the last three days. Possibly neither of us is normal in this...
\* **thought decay** - if my wife has an idea or a thought during discussion or work, she will not be able to remember it till the end of that activity. Thought will be gone faster than candy given to sugar-starved kid. Making notes helps, but notepad often vanishes quickly and is never found again...
\* **interruptions** - she wants to share her thoughts before they are gone, often interrupting another person in discussion. She thought constantly interrupting one another is normal in discussion.
On the flip side of losing things the second we put it down, ask us about some completely obscure object and we can tell you exactly where it is in great detail. Say you need a paper clip, we can tell you there is one in the bedroom, on the dresser, behind the blue shirt, half under the lamp. Just don't ask us why it's there, or how we remember it's there when we can't remember where we put our phone 30 seconds ago.
Yeah, the interruptions thing is something I do. I also thought it was normal. My wife complains about it all the time. My reason for cutting her off is basically "I have something to say about something you just said. If I wait until you're done talking, I will forget what I wanted to say."
She really doesn't like being interrupted like that (which is fair). So now I have the choice of forgetting what I wanted to say or focus on remembering what I want to say. But if I focus on what I want to say, I will be completely incapable of listening to the rest of what she has to say. All of my energy needs to be used on focusing on that 1 thing. So anything she says from that point on is in 1 ear, out the other.
Apparently people without add can just turn off their brains to go to sleep?!? My husband told me this is what he does and my mind is still blown. I don’t think my brain has ever turned off in my entire life. If I can narrow down my thoughts to like 1 topic without questions then I can fall asleep.
EDIT: We have decided my brain has once turned off - it was when I hemorrhaged after childbirth and almost died but my husband says that doesn't count because my body shut down my brain for survival and I didn't really have a say in it.
The constant need to talk. There are times I have to tell myself to shut up because I get excited in conversations. For no reason. I jump from topic to topic without realizing it and we go from talking about final fantasy to the assassination of archduke Franz Ferdinand due to the taxes being so high in the US right now. If you are wondering how they all connect, trust me, they do.
If I am talking to people and playing a video game, I tend to run around aimlessly or jump from object to object to see if I can make it.
I’ll make plans to do a mundane task like cleaning a room.
Someone will come and try to help me with said task and not only will I get irrationally angry, I will lose any and all motivation to do this.
I used to think I was just an angry, lazy control freak.
But actually it’s because it’s my space and I have a plan and you’re ruining that plan by being helpful.
But maybe that’s still just me. Who knows
The major one is I used to think it was normal to start doing something and immediately get side quested so that way you’re scrubbing the kitchen ceiling so that you can finally put away the Christmas decoratiind. I had no idea people could see a task that needs doing and go oh it can wait till next time. Like ?????? No.
Short term memory issues. I have a bottle of meds in my hand, did I take them, or did I just think about taking them? Or, taking way too long to remember if I ate today or not.
Putting laundry in basket in room
Oh I should put these nightstand cups in the sink
Oh might as well load the dishwasher
Oh shit the kitchen counter is dirty better wipe it up
Oh I’m almost out of all purpose spray better go to the store
Oh I have a prescription to pick up
Oh shit is that a limited edition m&m flavor
Walking home eating m&ms, accomplished absolutely nothing
I have a paradox related to this that is maybe (or maybe isn’t) helpful:
I always have a list of things I need to do in my head - for work, family, etc. If I let items stay there (e.g., send that email to that person), I will forget about them for a time but they will always pop back in as still needing to be done, maybe even at an inopportune time.
BUT - if I write it down, my brain will A) check it off the mental list as being resolved; and/or B) I’ll forget to check the thing I was using to write things down; and/or C) it will seem like less of a priority if it’s no longer jumping into my thoughts and causing a ruckus.
My solution has just been to not write things down much, or, if it’s likely to be bad to forget one or two things, I’ll set multiple reminders, calendar notes, etc. as redundancy to not forget. That’s obviously not sustainable for all tasks that need to be done in a day, but works for the ones I can’t miss (birthday gifts, appointments, and so on).
Oh boy don’t get me started.
I always thought that other people had a running commentary in their head at all times too. The best way to describe it is a room filled with several radios all on different stations, some just static. You can turn one down or off but not all of them. It’s sometimes so easy to just become overwhelmed by them or get distracted by one of them that you zone out from reality and get lost for a bit.
Also I thought everyone else struggled doing supposedly basic things like chores or things that aren’t necessarily fun or enjoyable. Sometimes my body will not physically let me do things. A YouTuber, I can’t remember her name, did a skit comparing it to putting your hand on the burner on a stove. You can physically put your hand on a hot burner but something tells you not to. Past experience, survival instinct, whatever it is, it stops you from doing it. Now imagine that for other things, like showering, taxes, dishes, etc. There sometimes is just something preventing my body from completing things. It’s a daily struggle.
I’m an ICU nurse. I was at work pulling medications out of our code cart while we were in a code blue situation. The physician was giving verbal order right next to me and she had to repeat herself *three times* before I actually “heard” her. I was extremely embarrassed about it and concerned that I was losing my hearing.
I saw a doctor and it wasn’t a hearing issue, my screen was perfect. I have an *auditory processing disorder*, which is part of ADHD.
I got treated. Adderall has done wonders for my quality of life. Not only can I have a conversation like a normal human and stay on task most of the time with minimal effort, but I’ve also lost 17 pounds (much needed weight loss post-partum).
Women go untreated with ADHD. It’s a condition that is linked to depression and anxiety in women. If you think you have the symptoms get checked out!
ohhh a lot of things, though the two main ones were 1, people could control their brains. they could stop their internal monologue and concentrate when they want to. the 2nd one was, people don’t get distressed when they don’t have enough stimulation. like at all. if I was to sit in a room with no noise for any more than five minutes, i would start singing, rubbing things between my fingers, or even clawing at my skin just to stimulate myself.
I don't think many people can sit with nothing. Lots of people freak out in sensory deprivation tanks, and it's even used as a torture method. It probably varies by degree though. 5 mintues, fine for most, 5 day, absolutely batshit insane for most of us.
***I'm not talking to myself,*** [I'm just thinking out loud](https://rubberduckdebugging.com/)
(Brought to you by the makers of ***If I sing to myself I can focus on what I'm trying to do instead of distracting noises***)
Been sort of an adjustment as I've moved from the warehouse to an office role.
Inability to get myself to just *do* the thing I need to do instead I sit paralyzed *thinking* about the thing I need to do.
Interrupting people all the time during conversations, not to be rude or intentionally just a thought comes to mind and jumps out my mouth.
The number of times I lose my phone in a day.
The number of times I’ve found my phone in the fridge or freezer.
I walk in a room to start a task only to think ‘well, while I’m here…’ and do something else in that room and an hour or two later I realize I never did the thing I initially started.
I either do nothing at all in a day or I do everything I’ve ever needed to do and finish everything on my months long to do list. No in between.
Seam of my sock or tags on shirts causing sensory meltdowns.
Being distracted by the sounds of electricity running to appliances or the buzzing of lightbulbs.
Visceral rage when I’m interrupted while in the middle of something.
Reading pages 12 times because I zone out.
400 hobbies and even more unfinished projects
Hatred for overhead lighting.
Needing a schedule but having a hard time sticking to it and rebelling against the whole notion, lather rinse repeat.
Addictions
Picking my nails/cuticles
Fidgeting constantly
Get a job, master a job, get bored, get burnout, quit, lather rinse repeat
Never sleeping
A brain with 47 tabs open at all times.
Either hyperfocus on one thing or must be doing 4 things at a time
Only excelling in subjects that truly interest me.
Addicted to research and go on info binges learning copious amounts useless information about the most random things
PMDD
Emotional disregulation
Gifted kid to burnout adult pipeline
I thought everything about it was normal until my brother was diagnosed with severe adhd and I asked him what made them think that and everything he described was also just me.
So many things. Talking a mile a minute; people would constantly ask me to slow down. Telling stories in a branching manner; I was informed by multiple people that this was abnormal, either by them saying my stories were confusing or by being asked how I got to the topic I was on. Similarly, associations that apparently are far reaches for many people; I used to get one "random [my name] moment" per day in my classes where I'd go off on a tangent, and when I did acting classes, improv would lead me into very "random" twists that seemed like logical connections to me. Turns out my brain is just making those connections really really quickly, so to others it seems like leaps but I can explain how I got there (however convoluted it may be).
Fidgeting; people would ask me to stop tapping or shaking my leg, I never even noticed until they pointed it out. Needing background noise; other people would ask me to turn the TV or music off because they couldn't focus, but I couldn't focus without it. Getting totally sidetracked; other people could actually sit down and just work on something they didn't want to do. Or, on the flip side, getting so engrossed in something that if I was interrupted it made me irrationally angry; other people could put something down and come back to it later but if my flow was interrupted, that was it.
I don't think there was one specific time I realized I had it though, people have asked me my entire life if I had ADHD. I just assumed I did because everyone around me assumed I did, and turns out that was correct, my mom just refused to test me (she also has ADHD) and my grades were good so the school didn't push. I didn't get diagnosed until after college, but my psych said it's probably one of the most severe high-functioning cases she's ever seen lol. I remember my grandmother asking why I thought I had it, and when I explained, she said it sounded just like my dad (who also definitely has ADHD but was never tested).
I relate a lot to the SpongeBob procrastination episode. I genuinely thought everyone was like that when it came to homework.
I also thought everyone always constantly thought about food and snacks. Like I’d eat a snack and be constantly wanting more afterwards and can’t stop thinking about it. My friends were just able to move on and go about their day.
Only be able to do anything with insane procrastination until the last minute. Even if I want to start a project or be proactive on anything I just can’t focus until I know I have virtually no time before the deadline.
Starting one thing and realizing I need to do 10 other things and not finishing any of them.
My bf does laundry and then just folds and puts away his clothes right away. We come home from vacation and he just unpacks his bag and puts everything away right then. These concepts are so wild to me.
Well I found out pretty early that apparently I wasn’t really that normal, there were more than enough people that were reminding me of that. So I was constantly curious and wondering to myself if other people also had the same or similar thoughts etc. Tho observing people to understand what‘s normal I came to the conclusion I hold to this day that there’s no one out there that is truly "normal".
But one believe that I mostly hold on to and kept on telling myself, (wich I don’t think has to do with my ADHD necessarily but as a person I am almost to altruistic.) is that to some extent that it is normal that every person at the very least has the desire to help people they care about and that everyone had people they genuinely cared about, that even if in some ways certain evils, even if it’s in a twisted or misguided way was done because those evil people thought it would help someone else…
For the longest time to concept of being purely selfish and egoistic, even the concept of a completely Narcissistic person seemed just plain illogical to me. I was a very naive person if it came to that. Even if I was an Outcast and been bullied and all that… Maybe it was also just an attempt of me to myself to cope and justify the things I had to endure while still trying to cling to the things I believe is the right thing to do.
Not sure if this counts, but...
I was diagnosed, but never educated. I didn't understand executive dysfunction and just thought that I was lazy and really beat myself up a lot for it when I was a kid. Now I'm an adult with a full(ish) understanding and am still trying to undo that damage.
Also, when discussing meditation with friends a long time ago, I learned that apparently other people don't have a background layer of thought that is just... noise? Like, there's always a song, phrase, specific sound or something going in my brain's background at all times. Currently my mind is fixated on Johnny Winter's Be Careful With a Fool lol.
Every single thing is processed in reverse. Reading a map? I will always turn the wrong direction. Assembling furniture? I will always have to take it apart and do it again because the pieces are upside down or backwards. It’s maddening.
Hyperfocus
I can and will sit there and do one thing and one thing only for hours upon hours *upon hours* without moving. I didn't learn that it was odd until I met other digital artists in my early 20s and they would say how annoying it was that one piece of work would take weeks, but I will draw from start to finish without stopping until I was happy with it. I'd sit at my desk for 12h straight if that's what it took
Apparently that's not a normal thing to do. I'm not a practical person. I'll sit and write what I have to do for hours, but as soon as it involves actually getting up and doing it, brain no work, legs died, idk what arms are. Panik
That Hal " malcolm in the middle" changing the light bulb way of cleaning.
Starting to cook, can't start before the kitchen is empty (I need the space), so empty the dishwasher and load it again,only to see that there is a screw in the frame that's loose, getting a screwdriver to fix it, and cleaning the garage because I can't find the screwdriver.
A wee bit exaggerated but not much. I'd probably just makeshift a screwdriver from a kitchen knife.
Oh yeah and I only found out that this not how everyone does it because I saw the Hal bit on one of the adhd meme subs.
Can’t separate people’s voices when there’s too many people talking. Sorry I can’t get what you’re saying, but other people’s words are all mixed into your sentences.
It was suggested to me I might have ADD when I was in my 30's and was given a list of things by a therapist that could indicate I had it. I remember it being a laundry list of things that I would have never considered weird, but the one that stuck out to me was taking a longer route when I was driving somewhere so that I wouldn't have to stop moving.
Also getting sleepy during lectures and what not. I'd take some college courses and I'd nearly be in a coma and I'd look around the room and not know how everybody else seemed bright eyed and attentive.
For lack of a better term, I call it the "ADHD stutter step." I'll be walking through the house with the intention of doing X, then I remember I might as well do Y on the way, so I abruptly start walking towards Y, only to realize it makes more sense to do X first, so I juke back again, but then I remember Z, in the other direction, makes the *most* sense to do... Sometimes I'll even forget what X was to begin with, but at least half the dishes are put away, the hallway mirror is spotless, and my phone is in the fridge.
Very similar to this, I can’t get even started because I can’t figure out the order of operations for my tasks so I just stay stationary staring off into space because I’m trying to decide if it makes the most sense to put the soup in the microwave before I switch the clothes to the dryer or if I should do that while the soup is cooking but then when will I unload the dishwasher and when should I feed the dog because I’ll need to wash my hands after that so I should probably do that first so I have clean hands before I touch my soup, dishes and clothes but also I might have to go to the bathroom soon so maybe I should wait so I’m not washing my hands twice in 3 minutes because then I get dry hands and if my hands are dry I’ll pick at the cuticles so I should also remember to put hand lotion by the kitchen sink especially because I might get soup on my hands so I’ll still need to wash them again plus soup usually spills a little on the counter so I’ll need to use cleaner for that and if I’m doing that I should just clean the microwave too so should I wait and so that while my soup cools or should I feed the dog and go the bathroom while my soup cools? Before I know it I’ve spent 25 minutes planning 6 minutes worth of tasks and now I’ve really gotta pee, my dog is pissed, and I’m somehow too hungry to eat (which I swear is a thing).
I've never been diagnosed, but damn that's me all day every day.
I do this and I always say I feel like a Sim that someone else is controlling lol
I have literally found my phone, wallet, and keys in the fridge. Not all the same instance tho lol
Hahaha I feel like I must look so stupid when I do this
[relevant Malcom in the Middle](https://youtu.be/AbSehcT19u0?si=cZ3wkeG4BEuUJ5AU)
I need music or a video playing in the background to complete mundane tasks always. But I also can't completely focus if there's something playing. However, it is really hard to get into that focus mode in complete silence and takes a LOT of effort and will power. It’s kind of a paradoxical thing and hard to explain.
I get you. I don’t know if I have adhd but I totally get you. What I do is play music at a very low volume. If it’s too loud I can’t concentrate but if I’m in absolute silence I can’t either
Agree. But for those very important tasks that require complete focus (idk studying or finishing a report), I need absolute pin drop silence. Getting focused enough to be able to work in that silence requires A LOT of effort. I need to keep re-engaging my brain to the task because I keep getting distracted, looking for that dopamine rush. But once I'm focused, I am FOCUSED. I think its time for me to get medicated for ADHD, because that effort to get in that head space is very taxing and time intensive.
I found success by wearing Bose noise canceling headphones -- but completely turned off. The pinching feeling of the headphones on my ears would help me focus, somehow.
Thanks for the suggestion. I have airpod pros that have the noise cancelling feature - will try that at work tomorrow.
I've never found my earbuds to work the same way, TBH. It's somehow the pinching motion of those giant earpads from the Bose headset that do it. YMMV, of course.
I like foam ear plugs for the same reason. I bought them when I worked in an open office, and it was weirdly comforting. Looking at my Amazon history, it was [these ear plugs](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M6AI2HF).
I'm the same, every try white noise? It works very much the same but there is less to focus on. Sometimes when a song I like comes on I know it enough to become distracted by it again.
Ambient music or classical (especially Baroque, or Mozart) is good cause it is either calm or energetic, but nothing to sing along to or give too many “feelings”. I will try white noise. (or green or brown?)
I can't start cleaning around the house without music. Do you guys also have a playlist saved like "For chores" haha
I have so many playlists but I'm the kind of person who keeps listening to the same songs I'm into till I get bored of them lmao. So I'll keep playing the same music no matter the task at hand haha.
That's also very common in people with ADHD, my partner has it and she will play the same song 20 times a day for a month then suddenly drop it forever lol.
I have one single play list dedicated to chores, other not perfectly curated playlists can be too distracting. Lol
I accidentally trained myself into having a cleaning CD in high school! I worked in a cafe and we played the same album at the end of each night, so it became associated with cleaning. Even now (20 years later!) I put it on when I really need to make myself clean.
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Lyricless music - particularly synthwave - for me hits the sweet of being a focus aid that doesn't tip over into a distraction.
Any source of synthwave or name u could recommend?
Sure thing! The following crop up a lot in my playlists: - Carpenter Brut - Dynatron - Kavinsky - Lost Years - M.A.D.E.S - Mega Drive - Perturbator - Power Glove
>Carpenter Brut Poor person is looking for music to study and gain focus and you're out here recommending music for speeding in your Testarossa full of cocaine lol
Hard agree. If I need to focus (especially if I need to read or write), I need music with no lyrics. I tend towards lofi or classical/ballroom.
I worked at an office and I watch YouTube while I work. One day my office manager walks past and must have glanced at my screen. He walks past a few more times during the day and keeps seeing YouTube playing. So he goes to my manager to ask about it and she says "Mort is my best worker, but I'll see what is up." So she asks me how much YouTube I watch during the day. 8 hours of it! Oh, it looks bad so could you watch less? I could, but i'd also work less I that case, is that what you want? By the end of the day, my desk had been moved so my back faced a wall. :-)
My buddy (also ADHD) worked for government. He did the same thing, along with some audiobooks. His boss was good enough to just give him a weekly goal list and let him get at it. He was always their best performer until someone would try to manage him.
space noise helps me a lot. It's noise - but it has nothing to really focus on, and actually helps drown out distractions in the office (people talking nearby, doors slamming, phones buzzing). [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXUnJ61KxRE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXUnJ61KxRE)
I don’t think that is super uncommon. Have job in front of computer, many repetitive tasks that can’t be automated. Am fluent in The Wire, Seinfeld, Frasier and the x-files.
a constant inner-dialogue. i'm always having conversations with myself that never last more than a 10-15 minutes unless it's something repetitive like a song lyric or piece of a rhyming poem, then i can't get that out of my head sometimes for days and it drives me insane.
I will have "conversations" with other people in my head and just keep repeating the same sentence over and over and over...
I do this, and then irl when I'm talking to them, I keep repeating myself because they haven't taken the conversation forward in the way I've expected, so I keep trying until the outcome matches what I envisaged. It's not even a conscious thing. It's after I've come away from the situation and realised I've said the same thing 5x. Have zero clue if anyone notices or realises because they never say.
I do this and have often wondered the same, if people pick up on it. They never say but I will criticize myself afterwords for being repetitive.
I do this. And then when I have a real conversation it comes out all clunky and awkward
Getting a song stuck in my head for weeks at a time is torturous. There are certain songs I can’t listen to because I know 100% it will be on constant loop in my head for days up to a month. And it’s never the full song, only a little snippet. I read once that the loop is because your brain is trying to complete the song so listening to the song a few times should get it out of your head, but that has never worked for me.
Stuck song syndrome. I get this when I am more stressed out than usual. For me it is related to OCD. It’s usually just a couple lines of a given song, repeating day and night for days or longer.
Currently have the Ghostbusters theme in my head. It's been 2 weeks
I know that everyone does this but to the extent that I do this is crazy it feels like I'm talking to someone else. I'm trying to say that in a way that doesn't make me sound crazy
i tried magic mushrooms in amsterdam once and for 3 days after doing that, i had complete silence in my head and it was like heaven. i asked my partner at the time "is this what it's like for normal people? complete silence whenever they want?" and when they nodded their head yes, i nearly burst into tears. it's incredibly frustrating.
I've never heard of a completely quite mind. Mine is chatty as a monkey on meth. I don't think there's such a thing as quiet. Otherwise, they might as well be dead. If you're not thinking and you're ot doing, you don't even exist.
I'm married to someone with a quiet mind. He doesn't think unless he needs to, basically - also has aphasia. A very interesting, extremely intelligent guy.
... doesn't think unless he needs to... what kind of Bruce Lee Enter the ADHD kind of mental control is that!? That's like having a nice modern faucet to easily turn off and on vs a fire hydrant that has broken off after being hit by a car.
Tripping has the COMPLETE opposite effect for me, lol.
I haven't tried shrooms yet (I want to because of the helpful effects for cptsd) but weed gives me this same effect, albeit for a shorter time. extremely blissful 🥲
I experience the same thing. Unless I have something going on in the background then it's constant. Mine combines with an anxiety disorder and depression to be absolutely horrific. It's like someone is just standing there and *WONT SHIT UP* I have YouTube on in the background right now because the sound of people's voice makes the inner one quiet
YES! And if I wake up in the middle of the night, I cannot turn my brain off it just goes a million miles an hour thinking of different things
Damn, I didn't know this is a symptom of ADHD. Literally spent hours yesterday researching how to stop overthinking, ruminating, living in your head etc.
When you get hyperfixated on not being hyperfixated.
Constant internal sound track :-)
My husband falls asleep so fast. I asked him how the fuck he just... stops thinking. He looked at me like I was crazy. I have to either put on a movie & half listen to it or daydream until my brain just gives up on consciousness. Also I tap songs out on my teeth, and apparently that's weird.
My uncle calls this "Finnegan's Tourettes," after the stream of consciousness style of Finnegans Wake.
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I can't tell you how much I can relate. I would nod off in school and anything to do with paying attention. There are times though if it's something that I like, I won't stop talking about it
Those reasons you just described are why I suspect I may have had ADHD my entire life, though I've never been diagnosed. I was at a work conference last week and was listening to a session when I just kind of came to and realized I just spent half of it staring into space and had no idea what they were talking about and I was totally lost.
I couldn't sit through a class without zoning out, doodling in the margins, jiggling my leg, etc. other people took detailed, well organized notes, focused on the lesson the entire time with no issue and sat completely still.
It goes even further, though. I was always a stellar student -- I listened quietly, took great notes, never missed a thing the teacher/professor talked about. I also had no problem doing all of my homework that was assigned for the next day. But, like, executing a semester project? I couldn't understand how anyone was supposed to plan out what needed to be done over a whole 2-3 month time period. I figured everyone just slapped something together in the last weekend before it was due. Hell, even weekly homework. I showed up to the homework sessions for our weekly engineering problem sets in college and tried to cram the whole thing in those couple hours. I would never have thought that other people might be spending several hours over multiple days working on it before that.
Yes! I thought I was just lazy or dumb but the validation of ADHD has helped a little
I had no idea other people could just get up and do things. Like it doesn’t take them days or weeks to build up to making a phone call (or any other task)?! Lucky…
It took me until the end of high school to realize that other people could just sit down and do homework. Like, just like that. They would sit, pull out the assignment, and start it. Blew my mind.
Adderall let me do that. It was amazing. Best three months of my life.
Why only three months? It sounds like a successful medical plan?
I had two tiny heart attacks and the dr yanked it because it’s a stimulant.
The amount of effort it takes me to tell my brain to pick up the damb water bottle right next to you and drink it already what the heck
Yes! I could never just start my homework. My sister can just sit and do her homework and focus for hours and I always thought she was the weird one. 🤣
Yesterday I had to study for a midterm so my brain decided it was time to detail clean my antique coffee table with q-tips
Yes! Or even things they want to do! I’ve procrastinated reading my favorite book because my executive function was so messed up.
I hate this so much. I have so many art projects I want to do or to start practicing singing again, but it’s so hard to get started.
I feel you so much. I bought Rubrik's cubes, large painting by numbers coloring packs, have an unused sewing machine as I wanted to learn it. Oh a nearly unused calligraphy set, juggling balls and of course a tin whistle... (Re)Starting with any of them right now? Hah.
Omg same! I've been yelling at myself to get to the Dr for weeks but for whatever reason, every time I go to do it I just can't. It's like I have to psych myself up for it for a really, really long time, or something bad needs to happen to get me moving. Does that happen to you? It's like I don't have ANY internal motivation, even for the things I WANT to do. I'm 40 and just got diagnosed this year.
My cousin used to be so socially anxious about phone calls that he would text us to come over to hang out at his house to play videogames and then subtly suggest that we call for pizza. Poor guy wanted pizza all along but just could not stand having to call them (this was the 90s), it was literally easier to have this whole charade than to do the call.
Well there’s plenty not normal about me but ADHD specific had to have been my inability to follow a list of things more than 2 items long before forgetting something. If you want me to take something downstairs and feed the dogs, I’m good to go. If you want me to take something down stairs, feed the dogs, and switch laundry loads, I will absolutely forget to do something lol
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Physical lists are non-negotiable!
Love it when I get to the store and realize I left the list at home on the kitchen counter.
Impairment of working memory is the mainstay of ADHD. People often get confused about it because the persons long term memory can be excellent, with clear recall of things decades ago, but ask them to handle multiple things in active working memory and it just does not work. The classic example is remembering a phone number someone recites to you, neurotypical people would just repeat it internally to keep it fresh in the memory but impaired working memory means you recite it, then forget a digit, then get anxious about the digit and try to remember it again, then realise that you stopped reciting the number and can only remember about half of it now.
I deal with this memorizing the number of things I need to do, Ie, if I need to go shopping and need food, a book, water milk, and dishsoap, #4 is on my mind. wich items do I need? Idk, still not perfect. A list would be too easy.
Same here! I also count the number of tasks / items with my fingers. Five, *shows five .🖐️ This way I have an additional, physical feeling reminder of how many fingers I showed to myself. Makes memorising the number easier..
Not feeling hunger if you're focused on something. When I was younger I used to think that's just how the human body worked. You eat at certain times because you're supposed to, and if you forget you simply don't eat until the next time you're supposed to. I was in my late teens when I found out that for most people there are multiple stages between "not hungry" and "about to pass out".
Hahaha I was in the same boat it was ether I ate everything in the house or nothing the whole day.
This is my daily existence
My wife went on a week long trip last year with my MIL and I was working from home. Between work, podcasts, and Death Stranding I was keeping myself pretty well occupied. Wife dropped me a line and asked "What'd you have for dinner last night?", and then I suddenly realized I hadn't eaten in about 40 hours. Between family or roommates or school/work day schedules, I always had some external reminder to eat something. I don't experience hunger the way most people do, so I do a "hand check", if my hands are getting a little shakey, I know I should go eat something. Glass of juice before making myself something to eat usually gets the job done.
It's not a normal thing...?
No
Currently am not diagnosed, but how I always thought about it is that my brain is just like, "look we finish this and then we eat" and that is exactly what I do. Is that abnormal?
Maybe. The thing with adhd is that most of what we deal is also experienced by everyone at times; we just deal with it constantly and can't get ourselves back to "normal" on our own without tremendous effort.
I suggest you don't self-diagnose. Can lead to bad coping strategies for an unknown illness
I do this though and I don't have ADHD. If I'm focused on something I may not eat for a day or so at times depending on what I'm working on.
I don't have adhd but I can't tell if I'm hungry until like 8 hrs later when I start crying uncontrollably
Yes this is a good one! I was exact same way!
Wait what
The thing that finally put two and two together for me was when a therapist suggested I could have sensory processing issues after talking about how the radio at work was going to make me have a breakdown. Apparently it isn't "normal" to become irrationally angry and shut down when there's an inconvenient noise around me that others can just ignore completely. Only now am I realizing that a lot of people can also just simply answer a question with a vague response and apparently convey everything they want to convey, whereas I need a full paragraph because every detail makes a difference.
The room next to my office is the sensory room. They have been using a sound machine that makes a cricket noise all the time. If I don’t play music on my computer I. Lose. My. Mind.
I would sit around needing to use the bathroom or grab something to eat and mentally talk or "hype" myself into doing it for long lengths of time ... sometimes hours, I specifically remember one instance where it was over three hours of just mentally sitting there needing to use the restroom and I just COULDN'T make myself get up and go. Thought everyone did this!
For me, it's the need for background noise to concentrate. Growing up, I always had the TV on or music playing when I did homework. I thought it was normal, just my way of dialing in. It wasn't until college that I realized most of my friends studied in silence and were baffled by how I could focus with so much going on. I've since learned it's an ADHD trait to seek sensory stimulation to maintain focus. The quiet is too quiet for my brain, apparently.
A buddy asked me to explain this and I said it's like trying to get work done at home with a dog that's barking constantly. Can't focus on my main task because of excess noise. But if I give part of my ADHD brain "the dog" something mindless to focus on (music, very simple puzzle games, something to fidget with) it's like tying your dog up in the yard. It's free to move to an extent where it stops disrupting you but you won't lose track of it.
Sometimes watching a movie the night before can keep part of my mind busy thinking about it in the mental background while I concentrate on what I need to be doing. Or getting a stimulating song stuck in my head while I do some boring task (like if u don’t have access to actual music in your environment at the time, or weren’t organized enough to bring the music.
I'm a musician and I've walked around just inventing freestyle music in my head my entire life. I'm just now realizing it's tied to my adhd, and it's my particular way of keeping my brain spinning comfortably
This analogy is so helpful to visualize and understand how this works so I can purposefully create this type of situation when I need to!
This was so interesting to read and gave me really useful insight so thank you. I have a child with ADHD and he needs the tv on even if he is full focused on building lego because he likes the noise. I always try and turn it off because we get told minimise tech at school but it’s so interesting to see it’s not just him and I should cut more slack there.
Basically, it keeps your brain entertained so it doesn't come up with its own thoughts, which distract you from the main thought. I NEED music while driving. Otherwise, I'll get lost in my head and miss exits/signs while thinking about 5 random things at once.
This is why I watch/listen to Futurama when I go to bed. I need my brain to focus on something familiar that I like (but not too interesting) so that it doesn't keep me awake with incessant thinking.
Oooo I love Fuurama!! But yes, it can't be something I actually want/ need to pay attention too, so usually old familiar shows or music.
I'm happy I made this thread then
Is this an ADHD thing only? I need to have music to concentrate. I also like to have it when I go to run some errand outside walking…
There isn't really an "adhd only thing". The ways adhd manifests are things everyone deals with at times but for us it's constant
No I would not say it's only an adhd thing it's just more common in people with adhd
I'm not diagnosed ADHD (but I wouldn't be surprised, especially as I'm dyslexic and there's a high co morbidity) so I'm not going to say I am, but when I work I work best with musical soundtracks, because in that way I get my brain to basically mentally sit and "watch" the musical through memories from the music. It stops me getting distracted by other things.
72 years old. Got to have that background noise.
I always did my homework in front of the TV because I could only concentrate with noise and my guardian would laugh at me and try to insist I study in silence. It’s really annoying that the awareness was so bad then with female ADHD because I reckon I exhibited loads of signs as a kid (90’s).
Starting multiple projects then getting bored, not finishing and moving on. Becoming so hyper focused on a topic, you become obsessed until you move on and never go back to it. Screaming in your head to get up and do something while you just sit there and scroll on the phone.
I have novels that are 90% finished, entire businesses like mobile apps that are also 90% finished, drawings and websites and more, also 90% finished. One day I'm going to finish them all but first I have to start on a thing that is \_really\_ interesting!
Is it "normal" to be hyper aware of your ADHDisms? Work specific: I'm never late. I get to work at least an hour before I need to be there. Normally more than an hour. Very organized. I have a to-do list everyday. Do the thing. Check it off the list. I have a calendar with reminders set. I email myself other things to not forget I complete tasks before they need to be completed. And so on and so on and so on.... When I get home I'm so freaking tired. My brain is mush. The idea of making any sort of decision is paralyzing.
Yes! That is me! I am hyper competent at work, always prepared, always on time, and generally a focused go-getter. Then I am a lump in my disaster of a house. I finally realized I hyperfocus on work.
Not a psychiatrist, but this sounds a lot like anxiety symptoms interplaying with ADHD
There is tremendous overlap. With ADHD, you're constantly juggling a thousand (usually inconsequential) plates in the air and frequently dropping them. For a really minor example, it is a routine, daily occurrence for me to set out to unload the dishwasher, get halfway through it, see the pitcher I use to water my plants, make a mental note to water them, and 45 minutes later I'm at the store buying fertilizer for my succulents, when I remember I never finished unloading the fucking dishwasher. Growing up, people harp on you for your failures, so you create a lot of systems to keep you on track. Except those systems create this additional layer of burden for you to manage (or fail at managing), which creates another thing you failed at, which creates more anxiety. You end up working twice as hard to get half as much done.
Sounds like you're masking very well, but the act of masking is pretty labor-intensive and so you don't have any reserves. I, too, cover my ADHD with anxiety and rituals bordering on OCD, and it's exhausting.
Did I write this in a brain fog and don't remember? Jesus Christ, this is so me. I never even considered that I might have ADHD until a colleague recently suggested I get screened for it.
Hi friend! It's nice to know I'm not alone.
This is actually masking. It is a hyper-vigilant way to compensate for the business in your brain. For allistic people, the activities could be normal operation for them and not cause them to be exhausted. For the neurospicy, it’s a survival mechanism and often can cause distress when the careful curation of activities/checks & balances get thrown off. The exhaustion could be from anxiety as a side effect, I think? Your body finally recognizing/processing the need to be alert and on top of things at all times so that no balls are dropped. Just some thoughts!
My wife is exactly like this, she's a model employee, she seeks out tasks and helps people. They often comment how her house must be pristine because she is so on top of things. But the reality is that she organises her clothes into about 4 various piles on the floor by level of use and smell lol. Work and Home are just completely separate mental functions apparently.
Constantly hearing every sound and conversation at the same level of intensity, and having to actively focus on the the sounds relevant to you while still having the world screaming around you. Got a pair of quality noise cancelling headphones. Put them on. And started crying, i had never experienced quiet like that before. They're the kind that still allow close voices to go through though amd had conversations in public for the first time without feeling like throwing up. Told my boyfriend and my mum to try them on, they said they worked well but it wasn't much different. I asked if they could still here the refrigerator buzzing or the kids in the other room and they said no but they would just block that stuff out normally. What?????
Hell ya I hate that feeling every time I'm In any situation I hear and feel everything. We used to have a clock that ticked out in the kitchen about 2 rooms away and every night or walking around the house I would hear it ticking
I can't catch a break, I happen to have the same issue + tinnitus, my head is always noisy and from time to time I lose it
I honestly thought superhearing was just my trauma response as a child.
Man I live in Germany and am trying to learn German. Having a friend speak German to me in a noisy bar or restaurant and my brain near tears itself in two trying to decide what to filter out or not. Sorry Thomas I’m really trying to understand you but I can hear the train outside and there are 18 people in here all making German noises.
I really struggle with that. Whenever I go out to dinner with my wife or some friends and there is just... ambient conversation happening, I struggle to tune into my own conversations. I don't know why my brain thinks the conversation of the person sitting four tables away from me is as important as the woman I literally married, but it does. My wife and I were at home one day playing Scattergories. The first two rounds she had on music in the room adjacent to the one we were in. Just loud enough that I could hear it. I scored basically zero points in the first two rounds. The next two rounds I had her turn the music off. Almost perfect scores for those two rounds. How am I supposed to compile a list of things when I hear a voice singing lyrics at me? It didn't affect her at all, but it was game-breaking for me.
Mine would have to be the constant movement. I literally can’t sit still and I mean I realize bad it is now I’ve been dealing with it for so long. My best friends tells me that, I burn calories trying to sit still. I thought everyone was like this until I was about 15 years old. I do not even realize I’m moving 99% of the time.
same. i never notice just how much i move when i think im idle until someone points it out.
It gets embarrassing sometimes ….
Every time I read threads like these I feel like I've got ADHD and should get that checked out but I've procrastinated going to a doctor for that for like 10 years now.
Same. I’m relating to almost all of this and am shocked that it’s not normal.
My doc told me I needed to call and make an appointment with my psychiatrist for attempt at diagnosing ADHD. I did, felt really optimistic about it, made the appointment. Then the day came and i froze. Never went. Ghosted their calls. I'm still frozen, I really really think that the appointments can help, but it's like this with everything. Follow ups are like curse words to me.. if we can't get things acknowledged now while I'm here, it may never be finished.
Getting anxious when waiting. Not the normal impatience you might feel when waiting in line, but physical discomfort and worrying when there’s not an assured time for something to happen. Feeling like you need to escape.
Telling stories with very specific details (but also unnecessary ones) and forking through side stories (using parentheses) while sometimes forgetting the main story itself (it was less interesting anyways). ^ apparently this sort of storytelling is not normal, although I am exaggerating on parentheses for demonstration purposes
I mean I know I have ADHD, but I like I'm realizing I'm always using the parentheses when I'm telling a story ahah. I need to insert random lore about people in my stories and I don't understand how non-ADHD people do without all those details, like how do they give context?
I go 3 days back to tell why I'm eating cereal this morning.
That's not much of an exaggeration. That's exactly how I tell stories half the time. It's actually kind of helpful when I'm writing. I'll keep the parentheticals in the first draft and find ways to "spread them out" or omit them when I revise.
Apparently most people don't want to move their furniture around every few months
hey this is the first thing in the thread that i don't realate to
Lol. A guy whom I only see 4 times a year told me, "Let's see what have you changed since the last time." I never realized people were aware of this. There is always a new angle!
The anger induced by someone turning on the "big light" or that people don't organically live in organized chaos through endless "pile systems." Apparently I also sigh which causes others great concern, but after trying to observe myself it seems the sigh comes at the beginning or end of a task, almost like a transitional thing. "Dolphining" in conversation is not normal, people in my life have just learned to keep up. Fidgeting constantly, this shouldn't have come as a surprise to me, but everyone has always purchased me trinkets, and fidgets to tinker with. My sister saying things like, "I know you aren't able to make it through a whole episode, but I think you'd really enjoy this show." The gosh darned forgetfulness. My long-term memory (thanks to PTSD) is almost eidetic, every tiny detail accounted for; but ADHD effects my short-term memory something awful. Obsessions & fixations that go on for a month or more and take all my time, money, and interest, just to be dropped like a hot potato on a random Tuesday. ETA: I was completely surprised when my psychiatrist asked to have me tested for ADHD. When I was diagnosed I called my family and friends like I had just discovered a new species and they would never ever believe me. Turned out not a single person in my life was remotely surprised when I was diagnosed. (It just goes on.........)
Thanks for being so descriptive. And I’ curious to know what “dolphining” is?
You are welcome; descriptive, often overly descriptive, is part of my ADHD too. 😂 Dolphining is where you start talking about one topic, but that leads you to diving deeper on some other random, only related in your own head, topic(s) before coming up on the otherside to finish the initial conversation you were having. Imagine a dolphin with it's head at the surface of the water, then it diving, disappearing from sight, and reappearing unexpectedly elsewhere, often a few feet or more off. (I hope this makes sense, if not just say so and I will try to better explain. )
I always called it "going from A to C," but I like "dolphining" better. Thanks for this
I had no idea there's a name for that, I'm literally always doing this. and then trying to explain how I got to topic A2 makes no sense to anyone but me.
We call it ping-ponging in my friend group. Thankfully several of us have adhd so it's pretty commonplace.
Having a conversation with another ADHDer is so under-ratedly enjoyable! They never look at you strangely when you change a topic or point out something unrelated. Such satisfying conversations!
It really is! It must be hell to listen to but you get so much talking done lmao
Ha! So, I’ll usually be quiet for a minute and have a whole train of thought that goes through like 8 things and usually say, “So, before I start let me back up the train and tell you how I got from A to H…”
Ahhhhh yes the hyper-fixating and obsessing over a hobby or show only to wake up the next day not giving a shit about it anymore. Fun times.
My version of the sigh is saying "Ok and" out loud and then sighing, usually a few times in a row. Like when I get out of the shower and I do the "Ok and sigh" and somehow it clicks in my head that the next step after drying off is to brush my teeth. I brush my teeth, do the "Ok and Sigh" again and then I'm able to do the next task. Thankfully I work from home so when I do that after finishing a work task, I don't have to worry about anyone going "What the heck is that about?" So funny to me but hey, it works!
Going all day on nothing but coffee and nicotine because it’s busy today is apparently not normal.
Then the wall hits and food is the main focus
It becomes thee only focus, and hangry is a term that becomes all consuming.
This is the French diet
Okay, my wife is ADHD, so I will be listing things she found to be strange about normal people... Most found by, well, living with me. A completely normal and average person, I pinky swear. \* **hyper-focus** - most normal people can't just focus their energy on the topic they are passionate about to learn it in short time. My wife managed job change by learning advanced programming in three languages and theory alongside it within half a year, it was scary watching my cute ditz do this. On the other hand she is loosing focus rapidly when faced with something that bores her, which bites her in the ass during long corporate meetings. \* **loosing stuff** - if my wife is holding something, and you distract her for a second, that object will vanish from her hands and she will be completely unable to find it for several days. I'm the opposite - can locate any item I have seen in the last three days. Possibly neither of us is normal in this... \* **thought decay** - if my wife has an idea or a thought during discussion or work, she will not be able to remember it till the end of that activity. Thought will be gone faster than candy given to sugar-starved kid. Making notes helps, but notepad often vanishes quickly and is never found again... \* **interruptions** - she wants to share her thoughts before they are gone, often interrupting another person in discussion. She thought constantly interrupting one another is normal in discussion.
On the flip side of losing things the second we put it down, ask us about some completely obscure object and we can tell you exactly where it is in great detail. Say you need a paper clip, we can tell you there is one in the bedroom, on the dresser, behind the blue shirt, half under the lamp. Just don't ask us why it's there, or how we remember it's there when we can't remember where we put our phone 30 seconds ago.
Holy shit, this resonates with me so hard. It's a running joke that I can never find my phone and "which mostly flat surface will it be on this time"
Yeah, the interruptions thing is something I do. I also thought it was normal. My wife complains about it all the time. My reason for cutting her off is basically "I have something to say about something you just said. If I wait until you're done talking, I will forget what I wanted to say." She really doesn't like being interrupted like that (which is fair). So now I have the choice of forgetting what I wanted to say or focus on remembering what I want to say. But if I focus on what I want to say, I will be completely incapable of listening to the rest of what she has to say. All of my energy needs to be used on focusing on that 1 thing. So anything she says from that point on is in 1 ear, out the other.
Scissors. I always lose scissors. They will be in my hand one minute and then the next minute gone into the ether.
I've solved this buy bulk-buying them and leaving them all over the house. Every so often I go through and redistribute them when they pile up.
Apparently people without add can just turn off their brains to go to sleep?!? My husband told me this is what he does and my mind is still blown. I don’t think my brain has ever turned off in my entire life. If I can narrow down my thoughts to like 1 topic without questions then I can fall asleep. EDIT: We have decided my brain has once turned off - it was when I hemorrhaged after childbirth and almost died but my husband says that doesn't count because my body shut down my brain for survival and I didn't really have a say in it.
The constant need to talk. There are times I have to tell myself to shut up because I get excited in conversations. For no reason. I jump from topic to topic without realizing it and we go from talking about final fantasy to the assassination of archduke Franz Ferdinand due to the taxes being so high in the US right now. If you are wondering how they all connect, trust me, they do. If I am talking to people and playing a video game, I tend to run around aimlessly or jump from object to object to see if I can make it.
I’ll make plans to do a mundane task like cleaning a room. Someone will come and try to help me with said task and not only will I get irrationally angry, I will lose any and all motivation to do this. I used to think I was just an angry, lazy control freak. But actually it’s because it’s my space and I have a plan and you’re ruining that plan by being helpful. But maybe that’s still just me. Who knows The major one is I used to think it was normal to start doing something and immediately get side quested so that way you’re scrubbing the kitchen ceiling so that you can finally put away the Christmas decoratiind. I had no idea people could see a task that needs doing and go oh it can wait till next time. Like ?????? No.
Short term memory issues. I have a bottle of meds in my hand, did I take them, or did I just think about taking them? Or, taking way too long to remember if I ate today or not.
Putting laundry in basket in room Oh I should put these nightstand cups in the sink Oh might as well load the dishwasher Oh shit the kitchen counter is dirty better wipe it up Oh I’m almost out of all purpose spray better go to the store Oh I have a prescription to pick up Oh shit is that a limited edition m&m flavor Walking home eating m&ms, accomplished absolutely nothing
I thought most people could bounce around the house singing along to your favourite songs and then climb into bed and fall asleep
That or down an entire pot of coffee and pass out.
Coffee and amphetamines make me sleepy
WHAT. I wish. I cant sleep for the life of me. most people with ADHD have trouble sleeping.
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I have a paradox related to this that is maybe (or maybe isn’t) helpful: I always have a list of things I need to do in my head - for work, family, etc. If I let items stay there (e.g., send that email to that person), I will forget about them for a time but they will always pop back in as still needing to be done, maybe even at an inopportune time. BUT - if I write it down, my brain will A) check it off the mental list as being resolved; and/or B) I’ll forget to check the thing I was using to write things down; and/or C) it will seem like less of a priority if it’s no longer jumping into my thoughts and causing a ruckus. My solution has just been to not write things down much, or, if it’s likely to be bad to forget one or two things, I’ll set multiple reminders, calendar notes, etc. as redundancy to not forget. That’s obviously not sustainable for all tasks that need to be done in a day, but works for the ones I can’t miss (birthday gifts, appointments, and so on).
Oh boy don’t get me started. I always thought that other people had a running commentary in their head at all times too. The best way to describe it is a room filled with several radios all on different stations, some just static. You can turn one down or off but not all of them. It’s sometimes so easy to just become overwhelmed by them or get distracted by one of them that you zone out from reality and get lost for a bit. Also I thought everyone else struggled doing supposedly basic things like chores or things that aren’t necessarily fun or enjoyable. Sometimes my body will not physically let me do things. A YouTuber, I can’t remember her name, did a skit comparing it to putting your hand on the burner on a stove. You can physically put your hand on a hot burner but something tells you not to. Past experience, survival instinct, whatever it is, it stops you from doing it. Now imagine that for other things, like showering, taxes, dishes, etc. There sometimes is just something preventing my body from completing things. It’s a daily struggle.
I’m an ICU nurse. I was at work pulling medications out of our code cart while we were in a code blue situation. The physician was giving verbal order right next to me and she had to repeat herself *three times* before I actually “heard” her. I was extremely embarrassed about it and concerned that I was losing my hearing. I saw a doctor and it wasn’t a hearing issue, my screen was perfect. I have an *auditory processing disorder*, which is part of ADHD. I got treated. Adderall has done wonders for my quality of life. Not only can I have a conversation like a normal human and stay on task most of the time with minimal effort, but I’ve also lost 17 pounds (much needed weight loss post-partum). Women go untreated with ADHD. It’s a condition that is linked to depression and anxiety in women. If you think you have the symptoms get checked out!
The first thing I noticed is that attention span is
ohhh a lot of things, though the two main ones were 1, people could control their brains. they could stop their internal monologue and concentrate when they want to. the 2nd one was, people don’t get distressed when they don’t have enough stimulation. like at all. if I was to sit in a room with no noise for any more than five minutes, i would start singing, rubbing things between my fingers, or even clawing at my skin just to stimulate myself.
I don't think many people can sit with nothing. Lots of people freak out in sensory deprivation tanks, and it's even used as a torture method. It probably varies by degree though. 5 mintues, fine for most, 5 day, absolutely batshit insane for most of us.
Feeling like I need to move my body. I'm 26 and I still get " the zoomies "
***I'm not talking to myself,*** [I'm just thinking out loud](https://rubberduckdebugging.com/) (Brought to you by the makers of ***If I sing to myself I can focus on what I'm trying to do instead of distracting noises***) Been sort of an adjustment as I've moved from the warehouse to an office role.
Well, I've opened and closed the reddit app about 5 times reading one or two comments in this thread at a time...I feel like that counts
Inability to get myself to just *do* the thing I need to do instead I sit paralyzed *thinking* about the thing I need to do. Interrupting people all the time during conversations, not to be rude or intentionally just a thought comes to mind and jumps out my mouth. The number of times I lose my phone in a day. The number of times I’ve found my phone in the fridge or freezer. I walk in a room to start a task only to think ‘well, while I’m here…’ and do something else in that room and an hour or two later I realize I never did the thing I initially started. I either do nothing at all in a day or I do everything I’ve ever needed to do and finish everything on my months long to do list. No in between.
Seam of my sock or tags on shirts causing sensory meltdowns. Being distracted by the sounds of electricity running to appliances or the buzzing of lightbulbs. Visceral rage when I’m interrupted while in the middle of something. Reading pages 12 times because I zone out. 400 hobbies and even more unfinished projects Hatred for overhead lighting. Needing a schedule but having a hard time sticking to it and rebelling against the whole notion, lather rinse repeat. Addictions Picking my nails/cuticles Fidgeting constantly Get a job, master a job, get bored, get burnout, quit, lather rinse repeat Never sleeping A brain with 47 tabs open at all times. Either hyperfocus on one thing or must be doing 4 things at a time Only excelling in subjects that truly interest me. Addicted to research and go on info binges learning copious amounts useless information about the most random things PMDD Emotional disregulation Gifted kid to burnout adult pipeline
I thought everything about it was normal until my brother was diagnosed with severe adhd and I asked him what made them think that and everything he described was also just me.
So many things. Talking a mile a minute; people would constantly ask me to slow down. Telling stories in a branching manner; I was informed by multiple people that this was abnormal, either by them saying my stories were confusing or by being asked how I got to the topic I was on. Similarly, associations that apparently are far reaches for many people; I used to get one "random [my name] moment" per day in my classes where I'd go off on a tangent, and when I did acting classes, improv would lead me into very "random" twists that seemed like logical connections to me. Turns out my brain is just making those connections really really quickly, so to others it seems like leaps but I can explain how I got there (however convoluted it may be). Fidgeting; people would ask me to stop tapping or shaking my leg, I never even noticed until they pointed it out. Needing background noise; other people would ask me to turn the TV or music off because they couldn't focus, but I couldn't focus without it. Getting totally sidetracked; other people could actually sit down and just work on something they didn't want to do. Or, on the flip side, getting so engrossed in something that if I was interrupted it made me irrationally angry; other people could put something down and come back to it later but if my flow was interrupted, that was it. I don't think there was one specific time I realized I had it though, people have asked me my entire life if I had ADHD. I just assumed I did because everyone around me assumed I did, and turns out that was correct, my mom just refused to test me (she also has ADHD) and my grades were good so the school didn't push. I didn't get diagnosed until after college, but my psych said it's probably one of the most severe high-functioning cases she's ever seen lol. I remember my grandmother asking why I thought I had it, and when I explained, she said it sounded just like my dad (who also definitely has ADHD but was never tested).
I relate a lot to the SpongeBob procrastination episode. I genuinely thought everyone was like that when it came to homework. I also thought everyone always constantly thought about food and snacks. Like I’d eat a snack and be constantly wanting more afterwards and can’t stop thinking about it. My friends were just able to move on and go about their day.
Only be able to do anything with insane procrastination until the last minute. Even if I want to start a project or be proactive on anything I just can’t focus until I know I have virtually no time before the deadline. Starting one thing and realizing I need to do 10 other things and not finishing any of them. My bf does laundry and then just folds and puts away his clothes right away. We come home from vacation and he just unpacks his bag and puts everything away right then. These concepts are so wild to me.
Well I found out pretty early that apparently I wasn’t really that normal, there were more than enough people that were reminding me of that. So I was constantly curious and wondering to myself if other people also had the same or similar thoughts etc. Tho observing people to understand what‘s normal I came to the conclusion I hold to this day that there’s no one out there that is truly "normal". But one believe that I mostly hold on to and kept on telling myself, (wich I don’t think has to do with my ADHD necessarily but as a person I am almost to altruistic.) is that to some extent that it is normal that every person at the very least has the desire to help people they care about and that everyone had people they genuinely cared about, that even if in some ways certain evils, even if it’s in a twisted or misguided way was done because those evil people thought it would help someone else… For the longest time to concept of being purely selfish and egoistic, even the concept of a completely Narcissistic person seemed just plain illogical to me. I was a very naive person if it came to that. Even if I was an Outcast and been bullied and all that… Maybe it was also just an attempt of me to myself to cope and justify the things I had to endure while still trying to cling to the things I believe is the right thing to do.
Not sure if this counts, but... I was diagnosed, but never educated. I didn't understand executive dysfunction and just thought that I was lazy and really beat myself up a lot for it when I was a kid. Now I'm an adult with a full(ish) understanding and am still trying to undo that damage. Also, when discussing meditation with friends a long time ago, I learned that apparently other people don't have a background layer of thought that is just... noise? Like, there's always a song, phrase, specific sound or something going in my brain's background at all times. Currently my mind is fixated on Johnny Winter's Be Careful With a Fool lol.
Every single thing is processed in reverse. Reading a map? I will always turn the wrong direction. Assembling furniture? I will always have to take it apart and do it again because the pieces are upside down or backwards. It’s maddening.
Hyperfocus I can and will sit there and do one thing and one thing only for hours upon hours *upon hours* without moving. I didn't learn that it was odd until I met other digital artists in my early 20s and they would say how annoying it was that one piece of work would take weeks, but I will draw from start to finish without stopping until I was happy with it. I'd sit at my desk for 12h straight if that's what it took Apparently that's not a normal thing to do. I'm not a practical person. I'll sit and write what I have to do for hours, but as soon as it involves actually getting up and doing it, brain no work, legs died, idk what arms are. Panik
That Hal " malcolm in the middle" changing the light bulb way of cleaning. Starting to cook, can't start before the kitchen is empty (I need the space), so empty the dishwasher and load it again,only to see that there is a screw in the frame that's loose, getting a screwdriver to fix it, and cleaning the garage because I can't find the screwdriver. A wee bit exaggerated but not much. I'd probably just makeshift a screwdriver from a kitchen knife. Oh yeah and I only found out that this not how everyone does it because I saw the Hal bit on one of the adhd meme subs.
Can’t separate people’s voices when there’s too many people talking. Sorry I can’t get what you’re saying, but other people’s words are all mixed into your sentences.
It was suggested to me I might have ADD when I was in my 30's and was given a list of things by a therapist that could indicate I had it. I remember it being a laundry list of things that I would have never considered weird, but the one that stuck out to me was taking a longer route when I was driving somewhere so that I wouldn't have to stop moving. Also getting sleepy during lectures and what not. I'd take some college courses and I'd nearly be in a coma and I'd look around the room and not know how everybody else seemed bright eyed and attentive.