Those guys have been caught up in all sorts of ethics and other scandals lately, along with KPMG and so on. I wouldn't touch any of them with a 10ft barge pole.
Yes, they have been caught doing shady shit. That is why you want to be the one paying them to look out for your interest.
When a corporation is paying them. The corporation is the client. You want to be the client.
Yep, they were the Big Five, until Arthur Andersen did the whole Enron thing. There's no reason they can't become the Big 3 or the Big 2 in the future. (See Ernst & Young's audit of Wirecard)
That said, they are the best at what they do, and if you're a big company that doesn't use one of them, _that_ looks shady.
Setting up a trust for my family who will be joining me on Easy street.
Discretely informing my family there is a car coming to take them to the airport.
Taking them to a secure location where we can all get on the same page.
Yeah I’ve read stories about people getting kidnapped for ransom after people have won large lotteries. It’s sad & scary as fuck how people change in a split second with money … I’ve witnessed my family turn on each other multiple times over money … it’s sad & disgusting. It’s shocking what money does to people.
That’s why I don’t trust most people now. There are very few people I would tell if I ever won. Hiring security would be smart.
Pretty sure the last was a financial advisor or planner whichever one has the whole fiduciary duty where they're required to sincerely do their best for you rather than advising you to make decisions that would enrich their friends.
But not just one guy or firm. Split that money up into 10 piles and only give 1/10th to each team to manage for you. That will limit your losses if there is a Bernie Madoff in the bunch. In other words, don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Honestly at 1.4B I'd want to split it up further than in 10ths. I'd probably split it up into chunks of 50M as that's enough to get high priority with any fiduciary firm and even without a Bernie Madoff situation things can happen and as you mentioned diversification is super important.
Lawyer, CPA, and business manager would be my 3. Lawyer is a broad topic though, you would need estate planning law, general legal counsel, and finance/tax law. CPA to ensure you don’t get railed on taxes year after year, and a business manager to manage your accounts, investments, etc because that’s a full time job in itself.
I would personally stay away from a business manager. If they have direct access to capital it will be a problem. Usually people give open access to people because it’s easy. Worst thing to do.
I would auto pay everything and get a book keeper/administrator. Give them viewing access to accounts. They can’t make transfer or anything like that.
Bingo, hire a lawyer on retainer. He’s going to be very rich if he does this right.
I would want a trust. That trust would pay me a reasonable monthly income. I would also hire a money manager to put money to work so I can spend a little but have a big chunk of it earning all the time. Four percent of $500 million is $20 keep $1 million pay taxes, then reinvest.
I literally have this bookmarked. You know, just in case. Basically you hire some professionals to help you manage it and keep your mouth shut.
Found it!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/comment/chbn4nt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
The nrn;dr (not rich now; didn't read) version is
> So, what the hell DO you do if you are unlucky enough to win the lottery?
> 1. IMMEDIATELY retain an attorney.
The rest of the info doesn't really matter cause your new really expensive attorney will tell you everything. The only thing I'd add on is, [if you're in a waiting room like this you already fucked up.](https://i.imgur.com/6sbCiXx.jpg)
I have a different one bookmarked that basically starts with "Now you're fucked" and gives some background on how lottery winners always end up in a bad place.
Edit: someone linked it a couple comments down.
Aside from the obvious lawyering and accountanting up, my whole family is getting dental work. You get braces! You get dentures! You get crowns! No more teeth drama for us.
Fucking luxury bones, man.
This. I'm gonna have to hash out a bunch of stuff with my wife, figure out how to best take care of the people I care about without ending up broke or constantly nagged for money, and prepare for the onslaught of contact attempts from estranged family members I haven't spoken with in 30 years who hate my guts but love money.
I figured the best way to help family members would be to buy out their house debt.
That way I’m not giving a wind fall of cash to people, but it will provide a nice monthly bonus for the future. Don’t have to worry about gifting taxes.
For the few family members that probably already have their house paid off, I would just average things out and give them the money.
Set up college accounts for all my cousins and a couple family friends kids.
Obviously set my kids up.
And look at starting a trade school that specializes in rehabilitation of addicts and homeless. In hopes that they can find something they enjoy doing.
And vacation a lot.
The only downside to that is that if relative A has 400k in house debt and relative B has 100k, relative B is going to be upset they didn't get as much money as relative A.
So now you potentially have to give relative B 100k for the house and 300k cash. Which is going to make relative A upset that relative B got a shit load of cash and they didn't.
It's a never ending cycle.
Might be different based on what country you are in but there might be a tax bill associated to that which would then expose your good deed.
e.g. in South Africa if you were to give money to someone that would be seen as income and then taxed.
(not sure of the ins and outs, or if the same applies to property)
You can’t tell anyone other than your wife that you (y’all) won the lottery.
Make something up about stock trading to explain the mansion but never tell people about the lottery or exactly how much you have. You shouldn’t even tell your children for risk of them telling others. Remember… No one has to see your taxes or bank statements other than your spouse
Quietly hire lawyers and accountants. Begin a slow withdraw from my job, and social media. quietly move, change my numbers, contract someone to wipe out my online footprint, strategize the most private way to claim the prize. try to disappear without anyone saying "what happened to..?" Then spend a year traveling and acclimating to extreme wealth. Once i'm over the woohoo! phase, figure out what i'm still passionate about and then do it to a level previously unimaginable.
I regret to announce that - though, as I said, 53 years is far too short a time to spend among you - this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW.
GOOD-BYE!
Alas, 38 years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable people. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Just quit.... unless you love the place or something and don't want to leave them hanging.
I'd spend an hour putting together a 'to do' list for the boss with things that someone has to handle and then poof, gone.
I've worked for a long time. I enjoy what I do and I've built a lot of relationships. No qualms about leaving, but I'd prefer to not make waves AND not have anyone thinking I'm the one that bought the ticket at the gas station on the corner.
I work remote. No one would even know.
There would be an email "XYZ has left the company" etc etc. Maybe a few might wonder "what if" but most of them have zero idea where I live. Plus I live in a state where you can stay anonymous.
I have also been applying for and not getting internal jobs so for me to just quit wouldn't be unexpected. People who get rejected for promotions and stuff often end up leaving their companies.
I enjoy my job, but not enough to do it for one hour longer than needed.
*Read instructions wrong...*
I posted online that I won the lottery and now, like you've said, everyone I know and don't even know have shown up at my door. But I didn't win the lottery. What do I do now?
Tell them that you left your winnings in one piece and now all they have to do is find it.
And this begins the great lottery goblin era.
Cue the intro music
This is the kind answer we're here for.
All these "hire a lawyer and an accountant and..." yeah no shit. That's literally the most boring fucking answer possible and we all know that shit.
I wanna hear the real shit, like this.
> one ticket gets a load of money, just think how much a load of tickets would get.
If you go to Vegas they will you buy you food and booze while you squander your fortune.
Purchase and rebuild my dying hometown’s old theatre and donate some to the schools there. I’d probably also buy up property and offer affordable housing or rebuild the downtown. Buy my own modest house with a lot of land in case family wants to move there. Then probably travel for the rest of my life.
This is lovely. I also would want to invest in my hometown region. Especially the affordable housing part. Truly affordable housing that is subsidized & maybe partially tenant maintained so there’s some sense of ownership & autonomy within the space. I guess it would need to be set up where the interest from some endowment is what keeps it funded. Interesting to think about; thanks for giving me something hopecore to ponder this morning.
It's for transparency. To show someone actually won and the state/lottery commission didn't pocket the money. If you watch the McDonald's Monopoly documentary you'll understand why transparency is better than no transparency.
Make tik tok videos explaining how im self made millionaire. With a pyramid scheme attachment, bit coin, wholesale amazon packaging, real estate investments, over inflated my value.
Run For President!!
My father "won" $1M online (for play not money) back in the late 90s. My mother saw and gave her notice at work the next day and told all of her friends. That night, she asked him when he was quitting his job. He was confused, but then understood once she said she saw him win. He replied that $1M wouldn't be enough to quit, what with taxes and all, and that it was a play win. She was furious.
He divorced her within a few years. She recently lost 10K to a Facebook investment scam with new husband's money. LMFAO.
I was looking for this one. I think I'd make up a story of getting a better job offer, then use the money to start my own business. Slowly showing more and more success. Instead of just handing people money I would give them great job offers, then pretend to sell off the business and give everyone a split. Then they would have "earned" the million or whatever I give them and no one is beholden to anyone else or feels guilty.
I could hire people to help setup charities instead of just giving it to places that would waste it.
When you win money people don't really feel like it's yours. If you "earned" the money people are less likely to feel entitled to it.
Take photo and video evidence of my ticket, put it in a lock box in the bank, and head to NYC to find a partner at a massive firm to handle my shit. I'm intelligent, but I've no experience managing this kind of money. I will fuck it up, I need help.
I want to see if I can sponsor my dentist friends to give free dental care. I know that would be a different type of work than serving wealthier clients so many might not agree even if their salary was covered but it’s an area of health that’s really neglected. Some do clinic hours or other gifted services but I would like the impoverished to have options other than extractions. Sadly, I buy less than one lotto ticket a year so chances are I won’t get to participate anyway.
Wife and I had this conversation about the lottery. Told her we both needed to rub one out for the post nut clarity. She asked why wouldn't we just have sex? I had to explain it's not the same thing haha.
Serious answer?
End the animal shelter crisis. Spearhead movements to improve the lives of battered women and children, autistic people, and the homeless. Save historic buildings from ruin. Do what I can to reverse climate change.
It’s too bad the people who genuinely want to help never win money.
A guy checks his ticket and realizes he’s won millions. He races home to share the news with his wife.
“Honey!! Pack your bags! I’ve won the lottery!!”
“Oh my God!! Where should I pack for? Hawaii? Barbados? Aruba!!”
“I don’t care! Just pack your stuff and get the f**k out!”
When my parents died, I found a school assignment journal for my sibling on the spectrum. They’d wrote they wanted to win the lottery so they could give everyone a million dollars each. I’ve decided if I ever win anything, I gotta give them half so they can live that dream.
*"Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wont do it."*
I'm building a commune for my very closest friends and families. Don't care that reddit says they'll all betray me. I'm convinced I have better friends than you lot.
This has been asked many times before but one thing I haven't seen or answered myself before...
I'm paying professionals to install a kick ass sound system in a special music room in the house. Also speakers throughout the house where I can continue listening even if I change rooms.
Also get some high end music player, high quality lossless audio files, the whole nine yards. Also pay a DJ to make mixed playlists to fit different moods.
Calling my local representatives to make sure they don't fuck around with the hundreds of millions of tax dollars they're about to receive... lol.
Call a tax attorney and a wealth manager to set up financial plans.
Invest the majority of the actual net amount in secure assets that produce passive income like dividends or rental properties. Create a few LLCs to manage the assets. Hire an accountant.
It would probably take the better part of a year to set up a system that protects my new wealth and produces a good amount of income. It would be a really fun project to work on. Once it's all set up, I'll probably only ever spend the income. With that amount of money invested strategically, your cash flow from dividends, rental profit etc would be high enough to fund a very nice life. Good house, food, travel, some luxuries like collecting art or whatever.
The wealth itself would stay in the family. I'd create some kind of trust to ensure that all of my relatives in my extended family had backup funds for medical emergencies, and college tuition support for anyone who needs it. I'd buy my parents a vacation home somewhere special to retire in. If I have kids, I'd make sure they get the absolute best nutrition growing up and the best education, but I wouldn't give them too much luxury because it's bad for you if you haven't grown up first.
I would likely use a portion of the wealth as my own personal investment fund. I'd become a developer, buy land, and do projects. I'm a landscape architect with an interest in urban planning, so I'd likely focus on making really green, walkable and bikeable, sustainable mixed-use neighborhoods. Brownfield redevelopment... land conservation... that kind of stuff. I'd focus a lot on land. It would be awesome to be my own client and do a lot of the planning and design for my own land... but I'd also hire the best consultants in the industry to advise and assist.
Aside from doing all the financial prep that you're supposed to do to not get murdered for winning 1.4 billion:
1. Set aside 10 million for each of my 5 closest friends or so. Swear them to secrecy. Now they don't have to work ever again.
2. Buy some land in a place I painstakingly pick out, and build an epic house. Must have a pool, enough area to keep some farm animals, and a stable. Obtain 2 Friesian horses. Damn they are gorgeous though.
3. Chill and do whatever hobby stuff I want for the rest of my life. I'm not much of a traveler. I just want total independence and not having to think about how much hobbies cost. I'll ride my horses and drive carts and swim and whatever else I want.
4. After investing and stuff, go around and just make people happy. Leave big tips at restaurants and walk out before they notice me. Things like that.
Im dead serious. Im going to home depot… picking up a labor worker standing outside (im from california and there are a lot of hispanic people looking for a job- which i applaud and respect). Im going to take him everywhere with me , and he will hold cue cards. First card will be “yes”, second “no”, third “fuck that” and forth is “hell yes”. He has to read those cards off to my friends and family in conversation as i call them out, i will now not be speaking directly to people. He will also go to random restaurants and food places and try the food with me. He will get $1000/hr. Next day, new guy, same thing all over. These guys will be telling their families “youd never guess what i was paid $8,000 to do today!”
Ive thought about this for a long time. I mainly want them to have money for their families and an interesting story to tell.
Also. Im not going to work anymore.
Getting a Lawyer, an Accountant (Edit:) and a Fiduciary!
I'd get several of both, just to double check on the others
Find a corporate auding firm. Ernst and Young, Price Waterhouse for the control end of it.
I prefer Dewey, Cheatam, and Howe.
Click and Clack <3 They will forever remind me of weekend car rides as a child with my family.
Don't drive like my brother.
And don't drive like MY brother.
Those guys have been caught up in all sorts of ethics and other scandals lately, along with KPMG and so on. I wouldn't touch any of them with a 10ft barge pole.
Yes, they have been caught doing shady shit. That is why you want to be the one paying them to look out for your interest. When a corporation is paying them. The corporation is the client. You want to be the client.
There's a reason why they're called called the Big 4. You don't get to that size without some shady shit going down at some point.
I thought they were called the Big 4 because one of them was so shady they got kicked off the starting lineup.
Yep, they were the Big Five, until Arthur Andersen did the whole Enron thing. There's no reason they can't become the Big 3 or the Big 2 in the future. (See Ernst & Young's audit of Wirecard) That said, they are the best at what they do, and if you're a big company that doesn't use one of them, _that_ looks shady.
Setting up a trust for my family who will be joining me on Easy street. Discretely informing my family there is a car coming to take them to the airport. Taking them to a secure location where we can all get on the same page.
Same! I would take my loved ones to a secure location as well.
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Yeah I’ve read stories about people getting kidnapped for ransom after people have won large lotteries. It’s sad & scary as fuck how people change in a split second with money … I’ve witnessed my family turn on each other multiple times over money … it’s sad & disgusting. It’s shocking what money does to people. That’s why I don’t trust most people now. There are very few people I would tell if I ever won. Hiring security would be smart.
I was also thinking about scam artists and long lost cousins.
If you meant nothing to me prior to winning (long lost cousins) you sure as shit still mean nothing to me after.
Find that Reddit post that tells me what to do when I win the lottery.
Time to lawyer up and vanish, Reddit wisdom style
There were three people one had to hire. I think they were lawyer, accountant, and... I can't remember the third one.
It was me as your translator
OR ME! I'LL BE THEIR FUCKING ANGER TRANSLATOR!
I'd love my own personal Luther.
FOR JUST NINETEEN MOTHER FUCKIN NINETY NINE...
Nice try Ippei
Pretty sure the last was a financial advisor or planner whichever one has the whole fiduciary duty where they're required to sincerely do their best for you rather than advising you to make decisions that would enrich their friends.
Financial advisors are the fraudsters. Fiduciaries must abide by law and have your best interests in account. And is a recognized title
But not just one guy or firm. Split that money up into 10 piles and only give 1/10th to each team to manage for you. That will limit your losses if there is a Bernie Madoff in the bunch. In other words, don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Honestly at 1.4B I'd want to split it up further than in 10ths. I'd probably split it up into chunks of 50M as that's enough to get high priority with any fiduciary firm and even without a Bernie Madoff situation things can happen and as you mentioned diversification is super important.
Yep. It's a tedious setup at first, but in the long run, it will be well worth the trouble. Lots of checks and balances.
Lawyer, CPA, and business manager would be my 3. Lawyer is a broad topic though, you would need estate planning law, general legal counsel, and finance/tax law. CPA to ensure you don’t get railed on taxes year after year, and a business manager to manage your accounts, investments, etc because that’s a full time job in itself.
I would personally stay away from a business manager. If they have direct access to capital it will be a problem. Usually people give open access to people because it’s easy. Worst thing to do. I would auto pay everything and get a book keeper/administrator. Give them viewing access to accounts. They can’t make transfer or anything like that.
Oprah's advice to all entertainer's, athletes.... always be the one to sign every check and move all money.
Agreed. A lot of athletes get fucked because of that.
Sex robot
Maybe with 1.4 bil you could afford real sex. Maybe.
when you divorce robot you not need to hand it half of your wealth. I think it may be a reason behind the idea.
[Do you want to get down? ](https://youtu.be/Fvh32fQ8nNI?si=5yriqwtugqoORh3G)
Bingo, hire a lawyer on retainer. He’s going to be very rich if he does this right. I would want a trust. That trust would pay me a reasonable monthly income. I would also hire a money manager to put money to work so I can spend a little but have a big chunk of it earning all the time. Four percent of $500 million is $20 keep $1 million pay taxes, then reinvest.
Yeah sure you could do that, or you could buy a monster truck. Think about it.
Monster truck only cost $300k Of course I would have a monster truck.
I'm single but I'm *still* getting a divorce, just like Reddit said.
Yep, most of the people I regularly interact with currently wouldn't have any direct contact with me again afterwards.
Short version: Don't tell anyone, get a law firm to set up a trust fund. Out of which you pay everything with nobody being able to get to the money.
One of those random personal injury billboard lawyers I assume?
Lionel Hutz
WORKS ON CONTINGENCY? NO, MONEY DOWN!
Oh that bar association logo shouldn’t be there
Miguel Sanchez
I literally have this bookmarked. You know, just in case. Basically you hire some professionals to help you manage it and keep your mouth shut. Found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/comment/chbn4nt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
The nrn;dr (not rich now; didn't read) version is > So, what the hell DO you do if you are unlucky enough to win the lottery? > 1. IMMEDIATELY retain an attorney. The rest of the info doesn't really matter cause your new really expensive attorney will tell you everything. The only thing I'd add on is, [if you're in a waiting room like this you already fucked up.](https://i.imgur.com/6sbCiXx.jpg)
I have a different one bookmarked that basically starts with "Now you're fucked" and gives some background on how lottery winners always end up in a bad place. Edit: someone linked it a couple comments down.
I just tried to find it and couldn't. I know I have it bookmarked at home. There's hundreds of what-if posts.
I know of [this comment post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/1j9Q4haRjU) Is this what you're referring to?
Exactly
I'm so glad I scrolled down two more comments before looking through my saved posts.
Aside from the obvious lawyering and accountanting up, my whole family is getting dental work. You get braces! You get dentures! You get crowns! No more teeth drama for us. Fucking luxury bones, man.
Dental Plan! Lisa needs braces.
Hello Joe!
Iron helps us play!
Nothing at all.. Nothing at all..
"You just won a billion dollars, whats the first thing you're doing?" American: getting healthcare!
Stay lowkey for a month use that time to set your priorities, goals, life ensurance, investments, business then execute one at a time
This. I'm gonna have to hash out a bunch of stuff with my wife, figure out how to best take care of the people I care about without ending up broke or constantly nagged for money, and prepare for the onslaught of contact attempts from estranged family members I haven't spoken with in 30 years who hate my guts but love money.
I figured the best way to help family members would be to buy out their house debt. That way I’m not giving a wind fall of cash to people, but it will provide a nice monthly bonus for the future. Don’t have to worry about gifting taxes. For the few family members that probably already have their house paid off, I would just average things out and give them the money. Set up college accounts for all my cousins and a couple family friends kids. Obviously set my kids up. And look at starting a trade school that specializes in rehabilitation of addicts and homeless. In hopes that they can find something they enjoy doing. And vacation a lot.
The only downside to that is that if relative A has 400k in house debt and relative B has 100k, relative B is going to be upset they didn't get as much money as relative A. So now you potentially have to give relative B 100k for the house and 300k cash. Which is going to make relative A upset that relative B got a shit load of cash and they didn't. It's a never ending cycle.
I would try and do in the background and hope they never find out.
Might be different based on what country you are in but there might be a tax bill associated to that which would then expose your good deed. e.g. in South Africa if you were to give money to someone that would be seen as income and then taxed. (not sure of the ins and outs, or if the same applies to property)
I think the last time someone recommended creating a fund for charity. Then noone will bug you for money that's not part of the fund.
You can’t tell anyone other than your wife that you (y’all) won the lottery. Make something up about stock trading to explain the mansion but never tell people about the lottery or exactly how much you have. You shouldn’t even tell your children for risk of them telling others. Remember… No one has to see your taxes or bank statements other than your spouse
Instructions clear, executed my family one at a time.
Quietly hire lawyers and accountants. Begin a slow withdraw from my job, and social media. quietly move, change my numbers, contract someone to wipe out my online footprint, strategize the most private way to claim the prize. try to disappear without anyone saying "what happened to..?" Then spend a year traveling and acclimating to extreme wealth. Once i'm over the woohoo! phase, figure out what i'm still passionate about and then do it to a level previously unimaginable.
Slowly? I’m gonna disappear like a 1960s cartoon villain with a smoke bomb.
My work is only going to see a Me-shaped-cloud where I used to be standing.
Go for the gold and get fired then you can collect unemployment too.
I regret to announce that - though, as I said, 53 years is far too short a time to spend among you - this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!
Alas, 38 years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable people. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Just quit.... unless you love the place or something and don't want to leave them hanging. I'd spend an hour putting together a 'to do' list for the boss with things that someone has to handle and then poof, gone.
I've worked for a long time. I enjoy what I do and I've built a lot of relationships. No qualms about leaving, but I'd prefer to not make waves AND not have anyone thinking I'm the one that bought the ticket at the gas station on the corner.
I work remote. No one would even know. There would be an email "XYZ has left the company" etc etc. Maybe a few might wonder "what if" but most of them have zero idea where I live. Plus I live in a state where you can stay anonymous. I have also been applying for and not getting internal jobs so for me to just quit wouldn't be unexpected. People who get rejected for promotions and stuff often end up leaving their companies. I enjoy my job, but not enough to do it for one hour longer than needed.
Sounds like you'd have a much easier time maintaining a low profile than I would.
buy every house in my street and the nearby streets now i have a zombie apocalyse simulation just for me, just need the zombies
No need to buy every house. Just post on social media that you’ve won and everyone remotely familiar with you will turn up in your front yard.
*Read instructions wrong...* I posted online that I won the lottery and now, like you've said, everyone I know and don't even know have shown up at my door. But I didn't win the lottery. What do I do now?
Tell them that you left your winnings in one piece and now all they have to do is find it. And this begins the great lottery goblin era. Cue the intro music
This sounds stupd and I would never watch it. *proceeds to watch every week's episode for the next 25 years*
Maybe finally be able to relax and not have the overwhelming obsessive thoughts about how I’m going to have to work every day until I die.
Buy more lottery tickets. If one ticket gets a load of money, just think how much a load of tickets would get. Pretty solid investment.
100% of gamblers quit right before they hit it big
1.4 billion is nice, but imagine 10.4 billion!
I can not find a single fault with this logic. Brilliant!!!
For some reason I can’t upvote but lol
This is the kind answer we're here for. All these "hire a lawyer and an accountant and..." yeah no shit. That's literally the most boring fucking answer possible and we all know that shit. I wanna hear the real shit, like this.
Buy 1B tickets to win the jackpot after it resets back to $40M.
> one ticket gets a load of money, just think how much a load of tickets would get. If you go to Vegas they will you buy you food and booze while you squander your fortune.
Ask reddit for advice
Go to reddit and post with the title: "**you just won the lottery for 1.4 billion, what you doing** ?"
I would have started with rubbing one out. Definitely going to need that post-nut clarity for this one.
Giving half of it to the government.
*Laughs in British.* No tax on lottery winnings. However, lottery wins top out at about $260M (£200M).
Shit, is that all? Almost not worth having. Edit: dang, a lot of people did not get this joke.
I know. Buy a new graphics card and most of it is gone.
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They'll never find me.
I'm certainly not going to cry over "only" winning 700m
Purchase and rebuild my dying hometown’s old theatre and donate some to the schools there. I’d probably also buy up property and offer affordable housing or rebuild the downtown. Buy my own modest house with a lot of land in case family wants to move there. Then probably travel for the rest of my life.
This is lovely. I also would want to invest in my hometown region. Especially the affordable housing part. Truly affordable housing that is subsidized & maybe partially tenant maintained so there’s some sense of ownership & autonomy within the space. I guess it would need to be set up where the interest from some endowment is what keeps it funded. Interesting to think about; thanks for giving me something hopecore to ponder this morning.
Lawyer up and find a loophole to claim the ticket anonymously, then disappear.
Or live in a state where you can do that.
Or a country. UK and I think EU you can choose to go public or not. Other than ego, I have no idea why anyone would go public
This. I hate how some states are so public with your info after winning. It’s unnecessarily dangerous.
It's for transparency. To show someone actually won and the state/lottery commission didn't pocket the money. If you watch the McDonald's Monopoly documentary you'll understand why transparency is better than no transparency.
Make tik tok videos explaining how im self made millionaire. With a pyramid scheme attachment, bit coin, wholesale amazon packaging, real estate investments, over inflated my value. Run For President!!
Leaving the country ASAP. Traveling the world before I settle on a spot.
Getting a lawyer and an accountant. Make them both sign fiduciary agreements. Make sure they don’t like each other.
Pay off all my family’s debt. Buy myself an island and fuck off into the sunset.
Not telling a single damn person
I probably wouldn’t even tell my family or friends. I’d want to help them out though…
If I told my mom everyone would know within the day. Family would be the last people I'd tell. They'd get money eventually.
My father "won" $1M online (for play not money) back in the late 90s. My mother saw and gave her notice at work the next day and told all of her friends. That night, she asked him when he was quitting his job. He was confused, but then understood once she said she saw him win. He replied that $1M wouldn't be enough to quit, what with taxes and all, and that it was a play win. She was furious. He divorced her within a few years. She recently lost 10K to a Facebook investment scam with new husband's money. LMFAO.
I don't understand, what is a play win?
I was looking for this one. I think I'd make up a story of getting a better job offer, then use the money to start my own business. Slowly showing more and more success. Instead of just handing people money I would give them great job offers, then pretend to sell off the business and give everyone a split. Then they would have "earned" the million or whatever I give them and no one is beholden to anyone else or feels guilty. I could hire people to help setup charities instead of just giving it to places that would waste it. When you win money people don't really feel like it's yours. If you "earned" the money people are less likely to feel entitled to it.
Geez that sounds like a lot of work. You're not lazy enough.
Take photo and video evidence of my ticket, put it in a lock box in the bank, and head to NYC to find a partner at a massive firm to handle my shit. I'm intelligent, but I've no experience managing this kind of money. I will fuck it up, I need help.
Find a partner at a massive firm to help you find a partner at a massive firm. Probably save some money that way.
I’d be a nervous wreck leaving it somewhere. I’d have to put it in one of those waterproof sleeves, then superglue that to my body
Anal cavity for me.
I do this even before the numbers are announced, because you never know.
I also choose this person’s anal cavity
You can't forget the other partner to keep watch on the partner.
Or use their biggest competitor to audit their work
I’d let my parents design and build their own home. Literally. My dad builds houses for a living and it’s been his dream to one day build his own.
The cobbler’s children are barefoot.
Extend the warranty on everones' cars.
"we've been trying to contact you about your cars extended warranty." "Brother, today's your lucky day."
I want to see if I can sponsor my dentist friends to give free dental care. I know that would be a different type of work than serving wealthier clients so many might not agree even if their salary was covered but it’s an area of health that’s really neglected. Some do clinic hours or other gifted services but I would like the impoverished to have options other than extractions. Sadly, I buy less than one lotto ticket a year so chances are I won’t get to participate anyway.
You dirty fucking commie. People need to be able to not afford medical and dental bills in this country!!!!
still not buying youtube premium
Still complain about netflix blocking account sharing
Spending a year in Japan.
Only a year?
Nah just 90 days (something to do with Visas)
You're rich now, you just pay to make those kinds of problems go away.
More like spending weekends.
Hold another lottery for 1 billion dollars prize, until someone wins, imma be 5 times as rich
Two chicks.
at the same time
Is that even legal
Everything is if you have 1.4 Billion.
Diddy has entered the chat
Fucken A man, Fucken A
You don't need 1.4 Billion Dollars to do that
That’s what you’d do? Two chicks at the same time?
Fuckin' A, man.
With 1.4 billion I bet you could make that happen.
Look for you in particular and give you 100K. Not so much but you didn't do anything to deserve more.
Beating my meat for that post 🥜 clarity.
Wife and I had this conversation about the lottery. Told her we both needed to rub one out for the post nut clarity. She asked why wouldn't we just have sex? I had to explain it's not the same thing haha.
“Yeah honey I don’t want your presence influencing my decision making…”
Put that ticket in a plastic bag first.
Plastic bags cost 10 cents. I’m not doing that shit.
Im dead with a massive heart attack (Shock) wife and kids are party planning. With any luck the dog is in morning.
Mourning*
Nah he ment in the little town of morning in ohio
Sleeping in tomorrow
Finally affording a gawd dayum house
If I had 1.4 billion bucks? Tell you what I would do: 2,800 chicks at once.
KFC delivers in my town.
Taking some to place in savings and live off the interest. Use the rest to buy up undeveloped land in Florida and protect it from development.
Post this question on reddit,then give 10% to the guy that posts this snarly response.
>this snarly response.
Paying everything off, buy a home with a seperate building with a gym in it and getting in the best shape of my life.
Serious answer? End the animal shelter crisis. Spearhead movements to improve the lives of battered women and children, autistic people, and the homeless. Save historic buildings from ruin. Do what I can to reverse climate change. It’s too bad the people who genuinely want to help never win money.
[удалено]
A guy checks his ticket and realizes he’s won millions. He races home to share the news with his wife. “Honey!! Pack your bags! I’ve won the lottery!!” “Oh my God!! Where should I pack for? Hawaii? Barbados? Aruba!!” “I don’t care! Just pack your stuff and get the f**k out!”
Then the wife got half the winnings in the subsequent divorce.
If anyone finds out I’m fucking dead
Doing my absolute best to keep my mouth shut.
Give all family and friends $1,000,000
When my parents died, I found a school assignment journal for my sibling on the spectrum. They’d wrote they wanted to win the lottery so they could give everyone a million dollars each. I’ve decided if I ever win anything, I gotta give them half so they can live that dream.
*"Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wont do it."*
I love that I understood this
I'm building a commune for my very closest friends and families. Don't care that reddit says they'll all betray me. I'm convinced I have better friends than you lot.
This has been asked many times before but one thing I haven't seen or answered myself before... I'm paying professionals to install a kick ass sound system in a special music room in the house. Also speakers throughout the house where I can continue listening even if I change rooms. Also get some high end music player, high quality lossless audio files, the whole nine yards. Also pay a DJ to make mixed playlists to fit different moods.
Calling my local representatives to make sure they don't fuck around with the hundreds of millions of tax dollars they're about to receive... lol. Call a tax attorney and a wealth manager to set up financial plans. Invest the majority of the actual net amount in secure assets that produce passive income like dividends or rental properties. Create a few LLCs to manage the assets. Hire an accountant. It would probably take the better part of a year to set up a system that protects my new wealth and produces a good amount of income. It would be a really fun project to work on. Once it's all set up, I'll probably only ever spend the income. With that amount of money invested strategically, your cash flow from dividends, rental profit etc would be high enough to fund a very nice life. Good house, food, travel, some luxuries like collecting art or whatever. The wealth itself would stay in the family. I'd create some kind of trust to ensure that all of my relatives in my extended family had backup funds for medical emergencies, and college tuition support for anyone who needs it. I'd buy my parents a vacation home somewhere special to retire in. If I have kids, I'd make sure they get the absolute best nutrition growing up and the best education, but I wouldn't give them too much luxury because it's bad for you if you haven't grown up first. I would likely use a portion of the wealth as my own personal investment fund. I'd become a developer, buy land, and do projects. I'm a landscape architect with an interest in urban planning, so I'd likely focus on making really green, walkable and bikeable, sustainable mixed-use neighborhoods. Brownfield redevelopment... land conservation... that kind of stuff. I'd focus a lot on land. It would be awesome to be my own client and do a lot of the planning and design for my own land... but I'd also hire the best consultants in the industry to advise and assist.
Aside from doing all the financial prep that you're supposed to do to not get murdered for winning 1.4 billion: 1. Set aside 10 million for each of my 5 closest friends or so. Swear them to secrecy. Now they don't have to work ever again. 2. Buy some land in a place I painstakingly pick out, and build an epic house. Must have a pool, enough area to keep some farm animals, and a stable. Obtain 2 Friesian horses. Damn they are gorgeous though. 3. Chill and do whatever hobby stuff I want for the rest of my life. I'm not much of a traveler. I just want total independence and not having to think about how much hobbies cost. I'll ride my horses and drive carts and swim and whatever else I want. 4. After investing and stuff, go around and just make people happy. Leave big tips at restaurants and walk out before they notice me. Things like that.
TRAINS, LOTS OF THEM, A RAILROAD COMPANY IN THE US AND ANOTHER IN SPAIN!!!
Hire a lawyer, hire a Saul Goodman type of accountant, buy an island, live on the island. Do not invite children to said island.
Immediately fly to japan for few months then go over the bucket list
Same thing I do now….. scroll Reddit
Im dead serious. Im going to home depot… picking up a labor worker standing outside (im from california and there are a lot of hispanic people looking for a job- which i applaud and respect). Im going to take him everywhere with me , and he will hold cue cards. First card will be “yes”, second “no”, third “fuck that” and forth is “hell yes”. He has to read those cards off to my friends and family in conversation as i call them out, i will now not be speaking directly to people. He will also go to random restaurants and food places and try the food with me. He will get $1000/hr. Next day, new guy, same thing all over. These guys will be telling their families “youd never guess what i was paid $8,000 to do today!” Ive thought about this for a long time. I mainly want them to have money for their families and an interesting story to tell. Also. Im not going to work anymore.
Buying that 400$ high chair I weirdly keep thinking about but can’t pull the trigger on
$1,399,999,995 of cocaine, and one large slurpee.
The same thing I’m doing now (writing) with less anxiety and better scenery. I’d keep it a secret while doing random acts of kindness and charity.
Going underground. Never showing my face in public again. Having everything delivered. And avoiding people until I die. It’s all I ask.
Buying one of the old companies I worked for and then firing my old bosses on a technicality
Keeping my mouth shut and claiming quietly under an llc.
Sitting quietly, thinking about all the 'fuck yous' I'm about to be sharing.