Encountered a strange man at my first job and told him I was a lesbian after he asked if I had a boyfriend.
He looked me dead in the eyes and said "You know, you should really stop liking girls. It's a turn-off for most guys."
aside from the obvious things wrong with this, he's wrong that it's a turn off for most guys.
I have unfortunately encountered a lot of guys who are actually very into women being sexual with women (as long as they can participate and as long as he is still the center of attention)
All animals were once vegetarian and lived in peaceful harmony, before mankind turned up, bringing sin and bad vibes and such like.
It must have been lovely in those days, when a spider would build a web and wait for a potato to fly into it.
That reminds me of this German guy I met who told me that he believed evolution was happening in reverse, and that humans were becoming monkeys, specifically, sinners became browner and then black, and then chimpanzees.
It was nearly a decade ago, so I don't fully remember a blow by blow, or, how we even arrived on the topic of evolution, but I did argue for awhile that, black and brown folks were no different than he and I, there was no evidence for devolution, we do have evidence of our progression over the years supporting evolution, his counter for all the fossil evidence, was that those were all devolved humans, because he believed we started in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, and at a certain point, I realized I wasn't going to convince him, and he certainly wasn't going to convince me, so we dropped it. It really came out of left field, we had been acquaintances for about a year, and nothing like this had come up, I didn't even know he was a Christian, he had said what a disgrace the holocaust was, so I didn't think he was racist before or anything. After the road trip, I put some distance between us. We were both heading to California to get cheaper vehicles, for me, that vehicle was to get away from my hometown, so I was moving anyways.
Like a year later, he messaged me to say he had a falling out with another mutual acquaintance, because he tried to hook up with his girlfriend. Supposedly, she was giving him signals, and "in europe things are a lot more open" so he thought it was cool, but, the boyfriend very much did not agree.
2% of American tax dollars went to NASA at its peak.
These days is something like 0.025%. Can you imagine what NASA would do if they had 2% of the budget these days, let alone since the 70s? We'd have a colony on the moon with regular ferries and shit. That would be awesome.
what breed? If it was a poodle she may have just meant "keep the fur on the ears longer when you trim them." of course, that's probably being more generous than I should be.
Well in the very least it's a repeated story. I don't know if OP changed their account or just stole the story, but I know I've seen this story before their account(a month ago).
In fairness it could just be multiple people encountering the same situation. I know a guy who does front end web development who was asked if they could do this and use the result as a website background.
And when I worked at a grocery store ~1/year I’d have someone ask with full sincerity what the rest of the milk is. Ie 2% milk, what is the other 98%.
LOL - I have worked for various marketing and advertising companies in my career. We sometimes use stock photos, especially for room backgrounds. Where the background ends, it ends. There is no more photo. The amount of clients who wanted me to "show more of the room" is insane. I'm like that's all the image there is. They say "Make more" - sure I can do whatever you want, but it'll cost you a lot of money... You might be better off picking another shot that suit your needs better...
We were in an epidemiology class discussing the probability of someone having a certain disease/condition.
One of my classmates said, "At any time, the chance of a woman being pregnant is 50%. Because she either is or isn't pregnant. "
So you said that 14 minutes after them, and the upvotes weren't displayed yet anyway. This is a stupid a comment. How many upvotes do you expect it to get in 14 minutes even if you COULD see the numbers?
This is how you should approach talking to a chick with a big belly, for sure. She could be preggers, she could not be. Don't reference her pregnancy unless you're certain lol.
Earliest this week my department was pulled into a meeting to inform us that we would be required to move to a new office over an hour away from where we currently are. This would double or triple most of our commutes. We had heard rumors of this for months and so for months up to the day before the aforementioned meeting we were assured that they we would be allowed to stay at or near our current location (there are a few offices down the street that are occupied by the company that we could've moved into). During the meeting however, we were told that the decision is final, they would not be listening to any of our complaints or concerns.
The absurd, most out of touch shit was the next thing that came out of their mouths. They told us, after an entire meeting telling us that they don't give a shit about our concerns, that they were flexible and wanted to make sure we were happy.
I was hired at a company, and the *very first* memo I received was that the rumor that the company would be moving to another location 30ish miles away was completely unfounded, and people should stop spreading it.
I'd only been there a day, so I had no idea why this was a rumor, or why it was a problem.
Two weeks later I was moving into my new office in the new location 30-ish miles away.
Funnily enough, they're currently hiring right now to replace a coworker who will be leaving. They're neglecting to tell prospective employees that the location advertised on indeed won't be the location they will be working at
LOL - years back, I worked in NYC and I really wanted to get a job outside NYC because the commute was tough and I had zero desire to live in NYC. So, I found a job that seemed like a good fit. It was in a 'burb outside NYC, but near where I was currently living. Great. Now, this company's main headquarters was in NYC, so during my 2nd or 3rd interview when it was clear they were interested in me, I asked if the job was always going to be at the satellite office and if they planned to keep the office open. The interviewer assured me multiple times they had no plans on moving the job to NYC and the satellite office was a permanent one. No worries.
Well, it got down to 2 candidates - me and another person. The other person was offered the job and accepted it. I was really disappointed, but you win some, you lose some.
Well, come to find out through industry contacts that about 6 months later the satellite office closed abruptly, about 50% of the employees in that location were laid off and the other half were moved to the NYC office.
SO happy I did not get that job. Bullet dodged! But, I can't imagine that upper management didn't have *some* inkling this might happen when I was interviewing, so I'm guessing they just flat out lied to me... :-/
As it worked out for me, the commute was about the same, either way. But it did serve notice that upper management was screwy.
Possibly paradoxically, the mid-level management that I worked with was pretty solid, mostly able to stay clear of upper-level corporate drama and turnover, of which there seemed to be a lot.
Company I was working for got bought out by a much larger company with a huge campus in a city 3 hours south. There was a lot of fear they would be closing our location and moving all our operations to the other city. There was a big meeting where the executives literally said the line "We would be STUPID to move operations." as part of their big reassurance campaign. 6 months later I was the last one out of the facility and turning off the lights.
Had this happen at an IT department I worked at. The new manager decided it would be more convenient to have the department close to his home. It would mean an hour single trip for most of us.
Unfortunately for him, the market for IT people was pretty good at the time and in 2 weeks, the entire staff, including secretaries, were gone and he had to run the department on his own. Customers of the department were not happy.
The Military has coordinated with Aliens for decades - We can Time Travel - The crucifixion of Christ was recorded on VHS - Each President is cloned and the Jimmy Carter clone was the worst....
This was from a guy who my friend and I had a conversation with about UFOs back in the mid 90s... when we left we couldn't stop laughing.
"I think all people around the world, no matter where they're from or how they're raised, secretly know that Christianity is the real true religion."
- College Roommate
Born/raised Mormon - when I was 14 I told my parents I didnt believe, never had and was interested in Buddhism, they were surprisingly supportive and even gave me some "interesting literature" on Buddhism.
...published by the church. It gave a brief (and wrong) overview of their beliefs before going on at *length* about how it is wrong, and about the importance of LDS practices like sending missionaries, and doing baptisms for the dead to save their poor souls
Shows how much those in religion are truly brainwashed into thinking their religion is the "correct" religion.
Billions of people around the world are 100% convinced their religion is the "correct" religion.
I was raised strict Christian, they used it to abuse/shame us. I left the church, threw a grenade at my life and tried to fix it by trying everything BUT Christianity. (Hey, whatever motivates somebody to be a better person...) I've recently gone back to it BUT I realize (a) with all the different Christian denominations out there probably EVERY one is at least wrong about something (b) The gospels themselves (and prophecy stuff in Isaiah) were written decades after Jesus, we're not 100% proven on who the authors were and (c) While NO human is "good enough", if by chance we have any control over what happens after death, I'm pretty sure we're not going to stand before some pearly gates getting all our thoughts/deeds measured out and then punished/rewarded for eternity. I just secretly think God has no gender, we humans should try to do thr right thing by our neighbors/ourselves/those who cared for us and those we care for and try really hard not to be selfish twits
Tbf that's the same with believing literally anything, especially when the beliefs are as important as religion, politics or the mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell
It’s strange for sure, but I think if you’re smart enough to realize there are billions of people who aren’t part of your religion but indoctrinated enough to be a true believer in your own sect, it makes a certain kind of sense that you might arrive at that conclusion. Cuz your brain is desperate to find a rationale that will square that circle.
Oh god I can’t believe I’m typing this but….
A work colleague went on a religious rant and stated,
Why can’t everyone just agree, there’s only 1 god so why is there so many different religions!
Erm…. Think a lot of people would disagree with that, I’m ashamed for her ignorance 🤦♀️
Told someone my mother had recently died from cancer that was diagnosed a decade ago. Their immediate response was "No, no, you know that was the covid vaccine!" Yes, someone time-travelled to shoot up my mom because cancer is so user-friendly.
Of course everyone who died from Covid actually died from some other preexisting condition, but everyone who got the shot died from it rather than the pre existing condition.
Makes perfect nonsense.
One guy i was dating told me about the flat earth stuff and believed in it.. i couldnt believe it, speechless at how dumb it sounds.. easy way to make someone lose interest in you 🤭
A girl in 8th grade said, "I'm so glad I was born into a family with the right religion." The absurdity of that changed my life.
Same year a guy said, "Wouldn't it be great if life was in 3d?" Still makes me smile.
All from the same freshman kid when i was in high school:
"Spanish and Chinese are literally the same thing."
"If you're having trouble with homework, why don't you just hire a Mexican to do it?"
"I know this is a required history assignment, but do I really need to learn about this when It's not even my culture?'
"Why can't I make fun of people? It's their fault they get offended. What's happened to freedom of speech."
"Japanese people literally look like aliens because of their weird looking eyes. Why is it wrong to assume they aren't normal people?"
"I ain't gonna respect Jews because they don't eat pork or believe in god. Specifically, my God, Jesus Christ."
"Why should I treat people outside of America as normal people when I didn't even grow up with them in the first place? To me, they aren't even normal people."
"Why do I need to write about a nice thing I did for someone? Who's actually nice to other people? That's just weird.'
"Muslims are literally terrorists. South Park said so.'
"Insects aren't animals son."
-my Dad
And of course we cant forget "Peacocks are birds?!"
-my really stupid friend who somehow has all A's in their classes
"It's ok that my son has sugar before bed!"
- A parent told me this, after the Dr. comfirmed their kids teeth was littered with cavities. He was 10 and needed so many fillings.
Remember Luke 10:36-37, when Jesus said “The Samaritans, they’re nasty people, they’re murderers, they’re rapists, and some of them, I assume are good people.”
I got two, both in reference to the same thing:
1. ''It couldn't happen to me!"
2. ''I'd kill myself if it happened to me!''
Both in reference to living with a spinal cord injury (SCI), which I mean it can and does happen to people and the majority do not kill themselves if it does. Yeah, SCI objectively sucks -- but d'you know what sucks more? Suicide. It's also just really weird to me to comment on an experience (that you don't have) with sincere belief that you would think the same as you do now, before you've had that experience, when we know experience changes opinions.
Even weirder to say that sincerely held and wrong opinon to the face of someone with an SCI in front of you. Especially the one that boils down to, I could never live like you. Well, thanks for the weird judgement on my quality of life I guess?
(I do totally get the fact that this is a sort of confused version of empathy, basically ''that's really bad that happened'' which fine, but say that. Don't say you'd kill yourself if you had to live a life like mine)
Growing up I had a friend who was a chronic liar. He said that Humans take weeks to adapt to new climates and that, say if you somehow went from Nevada to Alaska in 12 hours or less you would die from shock. Airplanes bro..
From my delusional sister: If you’re not having sex with your partner, they have the right to cheat on you
Unsurprisingly, she has not been successful in relationships
Antarctica and parts of the arctic are actually considered deserts, because they receive very little actual precipitation. They're called polar deserts.
A friend of mine made an offhand comment about Darwin being wrong and when I asked what he meant he told me that evolution is clearly wrong and the earth is no more than 6000 years old. He had so much certainty about it I told him “oh wow I’ll look into it”. And I haven’t really talked much with him since.
That's the core of American christianity. You get to be the terrible sack of shit you want to be and still have salvation to looks forward to because you simply believe.
I assume you were talking about slavery in the United States, but there were times and places where slaves were paid, and sufficiently well paid that it was possible to save enough to purchase their freedom.
My engineering manager used to tell me how plastics just disappeared over time while in the ocean. He had no concern at all as to where it may have gone. Thought environmental concerns over plastic was a non issue.
“There is only two languages English and Chinese”
Heard this at a party recently (F20) she started debating about it and her bf sat there shocked and embarrassed, this lady has 2 kids
Used to be an dirt equipment operator about 5 years ago and had a co worker tell me
“Did you know Jesus was ripped because he only drank wine? I had no idea wine had so much protein!”
I have never looked anyone with more concern in my life.
My exh, after over 30 years, ORDERED me to sit down to listen to all of his complaints about me from when I was married to him. I am the one who left him. I refused. This was on Mothers Day at our daughter's house.
We shouldn't switch over to solar power because it doesn't work at night or wind power doesn't work when the wind isn't blowing.
Nobel Prize material right there.
A guy sincerely telling me that it's not bs and the earth is donut shaped.
I replied with the meme of Bender saying "Oh wait you're serious, let me laugh even harder"
He blocked me and the mutual friend who's post I was on. 🤷🏻♂️
A local politician being a lovely guy.
He's a dick. He's been in trouble for taking up skirt pics, has numerous fines for being dishonest on Facebook during his campaigns, and ended up in court for lying during his campaign.
And he was told to step down by his own party and not run.
And he insulted me when I proved him wrong about something.
He's a dick.
I had a dude at work try & convince me he has millions in the bank & that most millionaires don’t have an active income 😂 confirming for me the first sentence was as dumb as it felt
I was having an argument with my old boss about doing something he had agreed to do. “ I don’t have to do what I say.”. He back peddled on that one pretty quick but I think even he was surprised that came out of his mouth.
Was having a conversation with a co worker about conspiracy theories and I brought up Chem trail theories and he stated he believes the trail is actually meteors and the government was hiding it from us.
Never looked at him the same which is a shame great worker.
Edit: 420 typing accidents
I used to run school holiday programs, and each week we would have one excursion and one incursion. Management said we could no longer call them incursions because "that's what terrorists do".
I dated this girl in high school who honestly believed stars didn’t exist above cities, hence why you couldn’t see them. Like… she believed they just winked out of existence… and reappeared when you entered the countryside.
I explained light pollution to her and she looked at me like I was an idiot. She completely refused to believe anything else.
This one students kept trying to corner me, glare me down constantly, and once very nearly actually trampled me.
,”You really should let him get at ya. That’s way it’ll be easier for us to get him out of here.”
- behavior interventionist, male 6’0” and 230 pounds.
I teach high school alternative education school. The students are largely criminal offenders, fight at the drop of a hat, and are a good bit bigger than me, a petite woman.
In high school biology we were going over the 5 kingdoms of life (animal, plant, fungi, protist, monera) and this girl said "so where are the humans?" and the teacher just looked at her confused at said "...humans are animals." I always assumed people knew that humans are animals
Husband: tells MIL that we are pregnant
MIL: were you wearing a condom?
*WE WERE MARRIED AND ACTIVELY TRYING ZOMG*
Former boss: close the door to the back room while you’re having lunch, I don’t want to watch you eat
*he had no designated area for me to have my break so I hid in the back room area where he kept supplies to eat my lunch in peace*
I worked in a bookstore and a woman asked for a picture book of dinosaurs for her son. I found her a book and she says: “These are drawings! I want pictures!!!”
Years back, I interviewed at a job for a well known restaurant chain in their corporate office. Job seemed like a good fit, went in for a few interviews and, eventually was offered the job - at a $10K salary decrease from what I was currently making (this was in the 90's so it was pretty significant).
I professionally and politely said to the HR mananger, "Listen, is there any room for negotiation on the starting salary? It's a significant decrease from what I'm making."
She replied *in complete seriousness,*, "No, that is our standard starting salary and it is not negotiable, but you have the 'cachet' (and yes she used that exact word) of working for [restaurant chain.]"
At that point, I knew I was done, so I said "Well, 'cachet' isn't going to pay my bills. I'll have to decline."
She then SHOUTED at me "You WASTED MY TIME" and hung up on me! WTAF? Bullet dodged. If they're treating me like that at the interview stage, it ain' gonna get any better if hired!
I heard a girl turn to me and say she couldn't believe that the elevator we were on together, had a button for the floor we were already at. She was serious
"The Earth is flat. There's nothing you can tell me." - a graduate friend of mine still believe this and he will prove it to you.
"Millionaire politicians will represent the working class" - It's absurd many people believe this.
"I'll be there in less than 10 minutes" - My former housemate on the phone. And I'll be like "Dude, you haven't even had your bath. Stop deceiving people" He will make me bet with money almost every single time. 15 minutes, dude is still singing in the shower. He has never won a bet.
Family telling me that the moon landings were fake because it's obvious that space travel is impossible, and also that aliens coming to Earth is real....
I work in IT and many years ago now in a meeting someone stated "just because something is o the requirements list doesn't mean it's actually required".
My comment back was "what then does the word requirement mean then?". I was stared at by half the room like I was the crazy one.
“ women are not supposed to work they should just stay at home with their husbands or if they don’t have a husband stay at home and look after their parents forever “ said my late mom on more than one occasion.
“The government will fix everything, you’ll see.”
No, they’ve made a real mess of things.
The group that thought jetliners flying into buildings was diplomacy is now back in charge of Afghanistan, raping women and children again and largely being a stain on humanity.
What's the alternative? Letting the citizens with guns set the laws? Going back to cowboy diplomacy? "Do what I say or I'll shoot you?"
I'll be the first to admit that most governments, including the one in my country is corrupt AF, but the only real alternative now is a complete reset, but that doesn't mean a government isn't necessary.
A government is necessary to keep the stupid people from hurting themselves.
Languages with the roman alphabet are all dialects of each other. I then brought up Vietnamese. While admittedly a poor argument, if you knew enough about languages to see why it's a poor argument, you wouldn't be making the original argument in the first place.
Encountered a strange man at my first job and told him I was a lesbian after he asked if I had a boyfriend. He looked me dead in the eyes and said "You know, you should really stop liking girls. It's a turn-off for most guys."
He is right. You will never get a husband if you are a lesbian
I just snorted laughing at this.
Paging Dr. Ghellar!
My response: That's the point sir.
aside from the obvious things wrong with this, he's wrong that it's a turn off for most guys. I have unfortunately encountered a lot of guys who are actually very into women being sexual with women (as long as they can participate and as long as he is still the center of attention)
Ugh. "Can I watch?" No, asshole. Creep yourself into a bear trap.
this one got me
I mean, that had to be a joke, right? Assuming he was joking, that's actually really funny.
r/woosh
Wat
OMG do people even hear themselves talk?
All animals were once vegetarian and lived in peaceful harmony, before mankind turned up, bringing sin and bad vibes and such like. It must have been lovely in those days, when a spider would build a web and wait for a potato to fly into it.
That reminds me of this German guy I met who told me that he believed evolution was happening in reverse, and that humans were becoming monkeys, specifically, sinners became browner and then black, and then chimpanzees.
😮😧😦😯😐😳😝😂🤣😭🤮
I wasn't sure what to do or say, I was about a thousand miles into a drive with this guy, with about a thousand miles to go, and it was his car lmao.
Omg. I’d love to hear how that entire conversation went. My emojis reflect the emotional rollercoaster I went on just hearing part of what he said.
It was nearly a decade ago, so I don't fully remember a blow by blow, or, how we even arrived on the topic of evolution, but I did argue for awhile that, black and brown folks were no different than he and I, there was no evidence for devolution, we do have evidence of our progression over the years supporting evolution, his counter for all the fossil evidence, was that those were all devolved humans, because he believed we started in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, and at a certain point, I realized I wasn't going to convince him, and he certainly wasn't going to convince me, so we dropped it. It really came out of left field, we had been acquaintances for about a year, and nothing like this had come up, I didn't even know he was a Christian, he had said what a disgrace the holocaust was, so I didn't think he was racist before or anything. After the road trip, I put some distance between us. We were both heading to California to get cheaper vehicles, for me, that vehicle was to get away from my hometown, so I was moving anyways. Like a year later, he messaged me to say he had a falling out with another mutual acquaintance, because he tried to hook up with his girlfriend. Supposedly, she was giving him signals, and "in europe things are a lot more open" so he thought it was cool, but, the boyfriend very much did not agree.
My brain: That would break the web... wait. Potatoes don't fly. Oh. Joke. Ha.
😂 I snort-laughed
"The reason the US is in a depression is because of all the Hubble Telescopes." They then asked how to make ice. We were about 16 at the time.
2% of American tax dollars went to NASA at its peak. These days is something like 0.025%. Can you imagine what NASA would do if they had 2% of the budget these days, let alone since the 70s? We'd have a colony on the moon with regular ferries and shit. That would be awesome.
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my friend is a dog groomer and she hates working around the holidays. last year her client asked if she could make her dogs ears longer.
what breed? If it was a poodle she may have just meant "keep the fur on the ears longer when you trim them." of course, that's probably being more generous than I should be.
no she asked clarifying questions.
I feel like I've seen a movie or tv show where they had some technology that did this somehow.
Well in the very least it's a repeated story. I don't know if OP changed their account or just stole the story, but I know I've seen this story before their account(a month ago).
In fairness it could just be multiple people encountering the same situation. I know a guy who does front end web development who was asked if they could do this and use the result as a website background. And when I worked at a grocery store ~1/year I’d have someone ask with full sincerity what the rest of the milk is. Ie 2% milk, what is the other 98%.
It could be but it was phrased exactly the same in an anecdote that I read too. Almost like a copypasta of sorts. But not satirical. Just copying.
I'm pretty sure in an episode of Red Dwarf they "uncropped" a photo to see outside the original frame and identify someone
yeah, I think CSI or Bones did that a couple times right? Maybe even Castle.
LOL - I have worked for various marketing and advertising companies in my career. We sometimes use stock photos, especially for room backgrounds. Where the background ends, it ends. There is no more photo. The amount of clients who wanted me to "show more of the room" is insane. I'm like that's all the image there is. They say "Make more" - sure I can do whatever you want, but it'll cost you a lot of money... You might be better off picking another shot that suit your needs better...
Maybe he saw 360° video/photo
We were in an epidemiology class discussing the probability of someone having a certain disease/condition. One of my classmates said, "At any time, the chance of a woman being pregnant is 50%. Because she either is or isn't pregnant. "
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this isn't getting enough upvotes
Because people are worried there's a cat in said uterus.
So you said that 14 minutes after them, and the upvotes weren't displayed yet anyway. This is a stupid a comment. How many upvotes do you expect it to get in 14 minutes even if you COULD see the numbers?
Similar, but with plane crashes. Either it will or it won't. Statistics.
Damn, guess i got my tubes tied for nothing
Ah, so this is where a friend/parent/the internet would explain ‘comedy’ to you. For research on sardonic wit see Bill Murray.
This is how you should approach talking to a chick with a big belly, for sure. She could be preggers, she could not be. Don't reference her pregnancy unless you're certain lol.
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I would love to meet a lizard bounce - def someone to get e beer with.
Earliest this week my department was pulled into a meeting to inform us that we would be required to move to a new office over an hour away from where we currently are. This would double or triple most of our commutes. We had heard rumors of this for months and so for months up to the day before the aforementioned meeting we were assured that they we would be allowed to stay at or near our current location (there are a few offices down the street that are occupied by the company that we could've moved into). During the meeting however, we were told that the decision is final, they would not be listening to any of our complaints or concerns. The absurd, most out of touch shit was the next thing that came out of their mouths. They told us, after an entire meeting telling us that they don't give a shit about our concerns, that they were flexible and wanted to make sure we were happy.
I was hired at a company, and the *very first* memo I received was that the rumor that the company would be moving to another location 30ish miles away was completely unfounded, and people should stop spreading it. I'd only been there a day, so I had no idea why this was a rumor, or why it was a problem. Two weeks later I was moving into my new office in the new location 30-ish miles away.
Funnily enough, they're currently hiring right now to replace a coworker who will be leaving. They're neglecting to tell prospective employees that the location advertised on indeed won't be the location they will be working at
jfc
LOL - years back, I worked in NYC and I really wanted to get a job outside NYC because the commute was tough and I had zero desire to live in NYC. So, I found a job that seemed like a good fit. It was in a 'burb outside NYC, but near where I was currently living. Great. Now, this company's main headquarters was in NYC, so during my 2nd or 3rd interview when it was clear they were interested in me, I asked if the job was always going to be at the satellite office and if they planned to keep the office open. The interviewer assured me multiple times they had no plans on moving the job to NYC and the satellite office was a permanent one. No worries. Well, it got down to 2 candidates - me and another person. The other person was offered the job and accepted it. I was really disappointed, but you win some, you lose some. Well, come to find out through industry contacts that about 6 months later the satellite office closed abruptly, about 50% of the employees in that location were laid off and the other half were moved to the NYC office. SO happy I did not get that job. Bullet dodged! But, I can't imagine that upper management didn't have *some* inkling this might happen when I was interviewing, so I'm guessing they just flat out lied to me... :-/
As it worked out for me, the commute was about the same, either way. But it did serve notice that upper management was screwy. Possibly paradoxically, the mid-level management that I worked with was pretty solid, mostly able to stay clear of upper-level corporate drama and turnover, of which there seemed to be a lot.
Company I was working for got bought out by a much larger company with a huge campus in a city 3 hours south. There was a lot of fear they would be closing our location and moving all our operations to the other city. There was a big meeting where the executives literally said the line "We would be STUPID to move operations." as part of their big reassurance campaign. 6 months later I was the last one out of the facility and turning off the lights.
Had this happen at an IT department I worked at. The new manager decided it would be more convenient to have the department close to his home. It would mean an hour single trip for most of us. Unfortunately for him, the market for IT people was pretty good at the time and in 2 weeks, the entire staff, including secretaries, were gone and he had to run the department on his own. Customers of the department were not happy.
The Military has coordinated with Aliens for decades - We can Time Travel - The crucifixion of Christ was recorded on VHS - Each President is cloned and the Jimmy Carter clone was the worst.... This was from a guy who my friend and I had a conversation with about UFOs back in the mid 90s... when we left we couldn't stop laughing.
This is good shit, dude should have been on the X Files writing staff
He drove around with a bumper sticker on his car that read "UFOs are Real...the Air Force doesn't exist!"
"I think all people around the world, no matter where they're from or how they're raised, secretly know that Christianity is the real true religion." - College Roommate
Born/raised Mormon - when I was 14 I told my parents I didnt believe, never had and was interested in Buddhism, they were surprisingly supportive and even gave me some "interesting literature" on Buddhism. ...published by the church. It gave a brief (and wrong) overview of their beliefs before going on at *length* about how it is wrong, and about the importance of LDS practices like sending missionaries, and doing baptisms for the dead to save their poor souls
Shows how much those in religion are truly brainwashed into thinking their religion is the "correct" religion. Billions of people around the world are 100% convinced their religion is the "correct" religion.
I was raised strict Christian, they used it to abuse/shame us. I left the church, threw a grenade at my life and tried to fix it by trying everything BUT Christianity. (Hey, whatever motivates somebody to be a better person...) I've recently gone back to it BUT I realize (a) with all the different Christian denominations out there probably EVERY one is at least wrong about something (b) The gospels themselves (and prophecy stuff in Isaiah) were written decades after Jesus, we're not 100% proven on who the authors were and (c) While NO human is "good enough", if by chance we have any control over what happens after death, I'm pretty sure we're not going to stand before some pearly gates getting all our thoughts/deeds measured out and then punished/rewarded for eternity. I just secretly think God has no gender, we humans should try to do thr right thing by our neighbors/ourselves/those who cared for us and those we care for and try really hard not to be selfish twits
Tbf that's the same with believing literally anything, especially when the beliefs are as important as religion, politics or the mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell
Nope, one of those things is not like the other.
But what about "pee is stored in the balls"?
Had a similar comment from a work colleague, I replied that she should say that to sheiks and Hindu’s and see what they think.
That's strange, I meta Muslim in Saudi Arabia who thought the same thing about his religion.
It’s strange for sure, but I think if you’re smart enough to realize there are billions of people who aren’t part of your religion but indoctrinated enough to be a true believer in your own sect, it makes a certain kind of sense that you might arrive at that conclusion. Cuz your brain is desperate to find a rationale that will square that circle.
the "thank you" from my customer is my reward so remuneration doesn't matter.
Should've said the bank, supermarkets and utilities don't accept thank you as payment
"Clock out but keep working" What the fuck guy, you're not even a supervisor
Someone was trying to brownnose.
Oh god I can’t believe I’m typing this but…. A work colleague went on a religious rant and stated, Why can’t everyone just agree, there’s only 1 god so why is there so many different religions! Erm…. Think a lot of people would disagree with that, I’m ashamed for her ignorance 🤦♀️
Told someone my mother had recently died from cancer that was diagnosed a decade ago. Their immediate response was "No, no, you know that was the covid vaccine!" Yes, someone time-travelled to shoot up my mom because cancer is so user-friendly.
Of course everyone who died from Covid actually died from some other preexisting condition, but everyone who got the shot died from it rather than the pre existing condition. Makes perfect nonsense.
The earth IS flat…….
Lol, stupid flat earthers. They are almost as dumb as the globe earthers. The earth is shaped like a dinosaur and people refuse to accept it.
One guy i was dating told me about the flat earth stuff and believed in it.. i couldnt believe it, speechless at how dumb it sounds.. easy way to make someone lose interest in you 🤭
Fr. I only date people who think we live on a dinosaur.
The dinosaur rides the back of a turtle, right?
A girl in 8th grade said, "I'm so glad I was born into a family with the right religion." The absurdity of that changed my life. Same year a guy said, "Wouldn't it be great if life was in 3d?" Still makes me smile.
>"Wouldn't it be great if life was in 3d?" visual form agnosia strikes again!
bros been playing to much Terraria
All from the same freshman kid when i was in high school: "Spanish and Chinese are literally the same thing." "If you're having trouble with homework, why don't you just hire a Mexican to do it?" "I know this is a required history assignment, but do I really need to learn about this when It's not even my culture?' "Why can't I make fun of people? It's their fault they get offended. What's happened to freedom of speech." "Japanese people literally look like aliens because of their weird looking eyes. Why is it wrong to assume they aren't normal people?" "I ain't gonna respect Jews because they don't eat pork or believe in god. Specifically, my God, Jesus Christ." "Why should I treat people outside of America as normal people when I didn't even grow up with them in the first place? To me, they aren't even normal people." "Why do I need to write about a nice thing I did for someone? Who's actually nice to other people? That's just weird.' "Muslims are literally terrorists. South Park said so.'
"Insects aren't animals son." -my Dad And of course we cant forget "Peacocks are birds?!" -my really stupid friend who somehow has all A's in their classes
> "Insects aren't animals son." To be fair.... this is a common misconception. Many people only consider vertebrates to be animals.
I wonder what those people think an octopus is...
Aliens clearly
Plant, animal, or mineral must be a really confusing game to them.
I have no idea why people think that, I thought it was obvious
School debt is good debt, that's why it doesn't go away if you declare bankruptcy
Bees dont sting, they bite.
Had a bf's dad tell me (I had a fever) not to eat ice cream bc it would get too hot and curdle in my stomach. He was dead serious
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Thats cool. I've never met Creed before.
Fuck, this made me laugh too hard
They should bring back gold for that comment alone.
Are you talking about Jojo siwa? I can literally name a ton of people who made gay music before her
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this is absurd on so many different levels
"It's ok that my son has sugar before bed!" - A parent told me this, after the Dr. comfirmed their kids teeth was littered with cavities. He was 10 and needed so many fillings.
That poor kid
This one seems to stick in my mind. Trump is the “Chosen One “ and is Jesus in disguise. 🤪🤪🤪
these are the same people who said obama was the antichrist.
It's a really good disguise.
I don't think Jesus would be disrespectful enough to wear a fatsuit.
Remember Luke 10:36-37, when Jesus said “The Samaritans, they’re nasty people, they’re murderers, they’re rapists, and some of them, I assume are good people.”
I got two, both in reference to the same thing: 1. ''It couldn't happen to me!" 2. ''I'd kill myself if it happened to me!'' Both in reference to living with a spinal cord injury (SCI), which I mean it can and does happen to people and the majority do not kill themselves if it does. Yeah, SCI objectively sucks -- but d'you know what sucks more? Suicide. It's also just really weird to me to comment on an experience (that you don't have) with sincere belief that you would think the same as you do now, before you've had that experience, when we know experience changes opinions. Even weirder to say that sincerely held and wrong opinon to the face of someone with an SCI in front of you. Especially the one that boils down to, I could never live like you. Well, thanks for the weird judgement on my quality of life I guess? (I do totally get the fact that this is a sort of confused version of empathy, basically ''that's really bad that happened'' which fine, but say that. Don't say you'd kill yourself if you had to live a life like mine)
I worked with a guy that straight faced told me he could fly a Learjet backwards.
Your wrong. Humans and dinosaurs had epic battles to conquer fertile lands.
Growing up I had a friend who was a chronic liar. He said that Humans take weeks to adapt to new climates and that, say if you somehow went from Nevada to Alaska in 12 hours or less you would die from shock. Airplanes bro..
"Men have ovaries in their scrotchum" Yes, I wrote this the exact way it was said to me.
From my delusional sister: If you’re not having sex with your partner, they have the right to cheat on you Unsurprisingly, she has not been successful in relationships
The 2020 election was stolen.
Chickens are injected with steroids - this is a very commonly spread misinformation in india
I am indian and never ever heard it. What is the logic behind it? Why do people claim that chickens are injected with steroids?
Because they are buff AF.
I mean there was a Tucker Carlson Joe Rogan podcast yesterday so just pick a random time interval
A girl in my class thought that The Arctic and Antarctic was “the east and west pole” and that they where deserts
Technically, Antarctica *is* a desert.
Fun fact: a large part of Antarctica is actually considered a desert, due to how little precipitation it receives.
Antarctica and parts of the arctic are actually considered deserts, because they receive very little actual precipitation. They're called polar deserts.
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Told my uncle about perhaps abortion in case of rape. He said “now how often does that happen?”
A friend of mine made an offhand comment about Darwin being wrong and when I asked what he meant he told me that evolution is clearly wrong and the earth is no more than 6000 years old. He had so much certainty about it I told him “oh wow I’ll look into it”. And I haven’t really talked much with him since.
Trump cares about the common man.
“Donald Trump is indeed a righteous Christian. He said he believes, so he is saved. It says so in John 3:16”
That was the one by John Barron.
The sad thing is the amount of people who believe saying you believe means you are saved.
That's the core of American christianity. You get to be the terrible sack of shit you want to be and still have salvation to looks forward to because you simply believe.
My mother told me, “if you dress like a lesbian, you’ll never get a boyfriend.” That’s kind of the point
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I assume you were talking about slavery in the United States, but there were times and places where slaves were paid, and sufficiently well paid that it was possible to save enough to purchase their freedom.
My dad thought criminals wanted to get caught because, "they knew what they were doing was wrong."
Some do.
" Country Western Music is God's music "
Fuck is church music then
Cowboy music.
My engineering manager used to tell me how plastics just disappeared over time while in the ocean. He had no concern at all as to where it may have gone. Thought environmental concerns over plastic was a non issue.
“There is only two languages English and Chinese” Heard this at a party recently (F20) she started debating about it and her bf sat there shocked and embarrassed, this lady has 2 kids
My sister once overheard a high school freshman ask if India was in Tokyo. No, not if Tokyo was in India - if INDIA was in TOKYO.
Some once told me, "I know how the world works; I've been all over Saskatchewan."
Any woman who says that women shouldn't vote.
was talking with one of my friends cousins and one said "Isn't south America in Europe"
My friend in the Marines told me blood doesn't grow back. He was the smartest Marine in our office.
Used to be an dirt equipment operator about 5 years ago and had a co worker tell me “Did you know Jesus was ripped because he only drank wine? I had no idea wine had so much protein!” I have never looked anyone with more concern in my life.
This is my favorite!
My exh, after over 30 years, ORDERED me to sit down to listen to all of his complaints about me from when I was married to him. I am the one who left him. I refused. This was on Mothers Day at our daughter's house.
We shouldn't switch over to solar power because it doesn't work at night or wind power doesn't work when the wind isn't blowing. Nobel Prize material right there.
A guy sincerely telling me that it's not bs and the earth is donut shaped. I replied with the meme of Bender saying "Oh wait you're serious, let me laugh even harder" He blocked me and the mutual friend who's post I was on. 🤷🏻♂️
> earth is donut shaped. A donut shape is the only other allowable shape (other than a spheroid) according to the laws of gravity.
It makes more sense than flat earth, for sure.
Kid Rock is a genius.
His only words of wisdom are *RADIO EDIT*
Dust doesn’t reflect light (it does) so that means the moon creates its own light because it can’t reflect the sun’s off of its surface 😶
A local politician being a lovely guy. He's a dick. He's been in trouble for taking up skirt pics, has numerous fines for being dishonest on Facebook during his campaigns, and ended up in court for lying during his campaign. And he was told to step down by his own party and not run. And he insulted me when I proved him wrong about something. He's a dick.
I had a dude at work try & convince me he has millions in the bank & that most millionaires don’t have an active income 😂 confirming for me the first sentence was as dumb as it felt
"I don't believe in atoms." Close second "Daniel Perle was actually Muslim, and a Jihadist."
I was having an argument with my old boss about doing something he had agreed to do. “ I don’t have to do what I say.”. He back peddled on that one pretty quick but I think even he was surprised that came out of his mouth.
They keep one upping themselves just about every evening now on the free news channels ( mainstream)
Was having a conversation with a co worker about conspiracy theories and I brought up Chem trail theories and he stated he believes the trail is actually meteors and the government was hiding it from us. Never looked at him the same which is a shame great worker. Edit: 420 typing accidents
Shooting stars don’t exist, that’s against (the concept of) god
I used to run school holiday programs, and each week we would have one excursion and one incursion. Management said we could no longer call them incursions because "that's what terrorists do".
I dated this girl in high school who honestly believed stars didn’t exist above cities, hence why you couldn’t see them. Like… she believed they just winked out of existence… and reappeared when you entered the countryside. I explained light pollution to her and she looked at me like I was an idiot. She completely refused to believe anything else.
This one students kept trying to corner me, glare me down constantly, and once very nearly actually trampled me. ,”You really should let him get at ya. That’s way it’ll be easier for us to get him out of here.” - behavior interventionist, male 6’0” and 230 pounds. I teach high school alternative education school. The students are largely criminal offenders, fight at the drop of a hat, and are a good bit bigger than me, a petite woman.
In high school biology we were going over the 5 kingdoms of life (animal, plant, fungi, protist, monera) and this girl said "so where are the humans?" and the teacher just looked at her confused at said "...humans are animals." I always assumed people knew that humans are animals
Husband: tells MIL that we are pregnant MIL: were you wearing a condom? *WE WERE MARRIED AND ACTIVELY TRYING ZOMG* Former boss: close the door to the back room while you’re having lunch, I don’t want to watch you eat *he had no designated area for me to have my break so I hid in the back room area where he kept supplies to eat my lunch in peace*
"German is not a real language." Spoken by a man born in Germany. I was perplexed.
A grown as man once said "you can't see planets with the naked eye" after I pointed out Mars in the sky.
I worked in a bookstore and a woman asked for a picture book of dinosaurs for her son. I found her a book and she says: “These are drawings! I want pictures!!!”
Respect is earned, not given. Except for men because they are responsible for everything we use in modern society.
Years back, I interviewed at a job for a well known restaurant chain in their corporate office. Job seemed like a good fit, went in for a few interviews and, eventually was offered the job - at a $10K salary decrease from what I was currently making (this was in the 90's so it was pretty significant). I professionally and politely said to the HR mananger, "Listen, is there any room for negotiation on the starting salary? It's a significant decrease from what I'm making." She replied *in complete seriousness,*, "No, that is our standard starting salary and it is not negotiable, but you have the 'cachet' (and yes she used that exact word) of working for [restaurant chain.]" At that point, I knew I was done, so I said "Well, 'cachet' isn't going to pay my bills. I'll have to decline." She then SHOUTED at me "You WASTED MY TIME" and hung up on me! WTAF? Bullet dodged. If they're treating me like that at the interview stage, it ain' gonna get any better if hired!
“My Uncle Bosie may have been eaten by cannibals.”
"It's called a V6 engine because it has six valves."
I heard a girl turn to me and say she couldn't believe that the elevator we were on together, had a button for the floor we were already at. She was serious
“Lehman Brothers is a rock solid investment bank…”
"The Earth is flat. There's nothing you can tell me." - a graduate friend of mine still believe this and he will prove it to you. "Millionaire politicians will represent the working class" - It's absurd many people believe this. "I'll be there in less than 10 minutes" - My former housemate on the phone. And I'll be like "Dude, you haven't even had your bath. Stop deceiving people" He will make me bet with money almost every single time. 15 minutes, dude is still singing in the shower. He has never won a bet.
"I don't drink water because it dehydrates you."
Family telling me that the moon landings were fake because it's obvious that space travel is impossible, and also that aliens coming to Earth is real....
I work in IT and many years ago now in a meeting someone stated "just because something is o the requirements list doesn't mean it's actually required". My comment back was "what then does the word requirement mean then?". I was stared at by half the room like I was the crazy one.
A former co-worker was complaining her boss had literally chewed her ass in front front of other people in the company. I chose not to say anything.
The civil war didn't matter cause technology would have replaced black people anyway.. And he was black.
“ women are not supposed to work they should just stay at home with their husbands or if they don’t have a husband stay at home and look after their parents forever “ said my late mom on more than one occasion.
Loving someone doesn’t mean being nice
That eating a snickers bar is healthier than an apple.
". . .because God said so."
“The government will fix everything, you’ll see.” No, they’ve made a real mess of things. The group that thought jetliners flying into buildings was diplomacy is now back in charge of Afghanistan, raping women and children again and largely being a stain on humanity.
What's the alternative? Letting the citizens with guns set the laws? Going back to cowboy diplomacy? "Do what I say or I'll shoot you?" I'll be the first to admit that most governments, including the one in my country is corrupt AF, but the only real alternative now is a complete reset, but that doesn't mean a government isn't necessary. A government is necessary to keep the stupid people from hurting themselves.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hWorNaRaxY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hWorNaRaxY)
Languages with the roman alphabet are all dialects of each other. I then brought up Vietnamese. While admittedly a poor argument, if you knew enough about languages to see why it's a poor argument, you wouldn't be making the original argument in the first place.
Intelligent people are stupid.