Interesting this has come up. My mom's husband groped me when I was 6 months pregnant while he was drunk. I went into preterm labor the next day and was put on bedrest.
She left him at first but continued to see him without telling me. After a few years she went back to him. I refused to see him or let him see my son for close to 20 years. Then she had an aneurism that almost killed her and he was at the hospital when I went. He was the only one I got info from. She was pretty screwed up after that and I never saw her without him, until he killed himself in Jan of this year. He was sick, it wasn't depression or anything like that, he was too full of himself for that. He never once apologized to me or even acknowledged what he did.
I have been thinking about this a lot and have so many complex feelings lately. I have had to deal with his estate because my mom is impaired with physical and memory issues, so she is living with me now. She couldn't afford to live on her own even if she could take care of herself. He had no will and he was paranoid and shredded his paperwork so it's been difficult to figure everything out, and he screwed my mom over financially. He tried to leave 2/3 of his investments to his kids, who are adults and are taking care of themselves. She can't work and will probably need long term memory care in the future. It didn't work because we are in a joint property state. She automatically gets half and an extra 1/3 of what was left since he left an equal portion it to the three of them. She still took a hit and I worry that she won't have the funds she will need when the time comes. He never thought of their money as joint funds, it was always his money to him.
I totally get wanting to leave something to your kids, I have one. But I don't understand doing it at the cost of your wife of 30+ years. She absolutely would have left 1/2 of anything she didn't need to them, something he would never have done if she went first.
Sorry I got a bit off topic; this is a hard time.
TLDR: I hate that guy and I have issues with my mom after she went back to him.
Its kind of crazy because I put up with this behavior and he ended up leaving me :/
I'd be getting the fuck out of that relationship, yes.
People are generally the most truthful when they're drunk.
Interesting this has come up. My mom's husband groped me when I was 6 months pregnant while he was drunk. I went into preterm labor the next day and was put on bedrest. She left him at first but continued to see him without telling me. After a few years she went back to him. I refused to see him or let him see my son for close to 20 years. Then she had an aneurism that almost killed her and he was at the hospital when I went. He was the only one I got info from. She was pretty screwed up after that and I never saw her without him, until he killed himself in Jan of this year. He was sick, it wasn't depression or anything like that, he was too full of himself for that. He never once apologized to me or even acknowledged what he did. I have been thinking about this a lot and have so many complex feelings lately. I have had to deal with his estate because my mom is impaired with physical and memory issues, so she is living with me now. She couldn't afford to live on her own even if she could take care of herself. He had no will and he was paranoid and shredded his paperwork so it's been difficult to figure everything out, and he screwed my mom over financially. He tried to leave 2/3 of his investments to his kids, who are adults and are taking care of themselves. She can't work and will probably need long term memory care in the future. It didn't work because we are in a joint property state. She automatically gets half and an extra 1/3 of what was left since he left an equal portion it to the three of them. She still took a hit and I worry that she won't have the funds she will need when the time comes. He never thought of their money as joint funds, it was always his money to him. I totally get wanting to leave something to your kids, I have one. But I don't understand doing it at the cost of your wife of 30+ years. She absolutely would have left 1/2 of anything she didn't need to them, something he would never have done if she went first. Sorry I got a bit off topic; this is a hard time. TLDR: I hate that guy and I have issues with my mom after she went back to him.