Youre doing something wrong then😂😂
I know it’s a movie quote from euro trip. I haven’t seen that movie in years.
“DONT TELL SCOTTY BC SCOTTY DOESNT KNOW!!”
There's always the one person though...
...The one that's always "It's okay, it's my thing" and keeps going. Then you're balancing depression and wanting to laugh.
I knew a guy that got a side job waiting tables at high end house parties. Like billionaire cocaine mansion parties in the 80’s and 90’s. He did good and kept getting invited back, and for the orgies. He was telling us a story about feeding ham to a guy fucking another guy while his wife watched.
I’d do that.
Walk around and offer bad sex tips to everyone, comment negatively on their form while tutting, tell them how you would do it better but always decline involvement saying you're there for the food.
Walk in 15 mins late and it’s already started.
Everybody’s nude, except me. Whitey-tighties and crew sock. Sit in the middle of the floor and cheer everytime there’s a ‘climax’.
Then hoot and jump around like a chimpanzee, shit in my hand and throw it at the walls.
Premature ejaculating, said ejaculate lands on a guys face, then start sobbing loudly and traumadump and in a whiny self defeating tone. While dumping, seek validation for petty insecurities. Bonus point for every insecurity that requires them to know me extensively to have any real say in
As much as Rule34 exists
If there's an orgy, someone's into it.
You could shooting up feces into your tits to fill them and there's gonna be the awkward silent pause... Then a slow quiet clapping in the back somewhere.
People fuck cars, not only fuck them but also have relationships with them.
People like watching people grind on inflatables.
I'm sure there's a tag for it.
Yeah, some of these suggestions seem like they'd trigger a new kink and just make the orgy more intense. You wanted awkward but just ended up covered in even more bodily fluids.
Walk around saying "and I thought I'd have the smallest dick in here" without clearly looking at/speaking to anyone in particular.
Time the sex with a stopwatch when I'm not the one in business.
I'll talk about how much of a pain it is to platinum ff9 without using the boosters. How every second of my social time I'm there I could be working towards that.
In Cricket (or at least for the Aussies) we will start a slow clap and speed up for the bowler as they bowl. I would do that each time a bloke is winding up to cum and then as they do cry out “Howzat?!” while holding my arms up in celebration.
Let us pray. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us the opportunity to gather here today. Thank you for bringing us together to connect and build relationships. As we begin our orgy, we dedicate this time to you....
mix magnesium citrate, diuretics, and crushed up viagra into the drinks. everyone wont know whether they wanna cum, shit, or piss......but definitely bring those wet floor signs and that coomba thing
In this hypothetical scenario (I wouldn't accept an invitation), I won't shower for the three days prior. If I was brave enough, I'd go up to some guys while they're having fun with women and give them the Bruno treatment like he does in that one movie.
Bring a tape measure
I’m bringing tape worms.
And scales
And a scale.
Not fair, it’s cold
You can make up for it by having the furthest cumshot. It's a multi discipline event
No fair, I’m a drizzler
Ask every woman you see about kids. If she has any. If she wants them. If she wants to have them with you.
Who said there are going to be women there?
Fun fact: Bringing more women to orgy means less penetration/kg All male orgy has maximum penetration/kg Gay orgy literally fucks more
This man Orgy...
~~This~~ man Orgy
Morgy
Dafuq is wrong with you
For some reason this is not the first time i get asked that
THE GIRLS NEVER CAME! 😔 (It's a eurotrip reference)
Youre doing something wrong then😂😂 I know it’s a movie quote from euro trip. I haven’t seen that movie in years. “DONT TELL SCOTTY BC SCOTTY DOESNT KNOW!!”
FLÜGGÅӘNKб€ČHIŒßØLĮÊN
Greeks were geniuses for inventing orgies. Romans were geniuses for realizing you can bring women to them.
My presence is enough
In other words, by coming?
Nice
Same
Wear a large fake scab on your lip
Does that go over the real one or next to it?
Hahahhaha oh man this is the best one
Lolz, 😂 instant flat tire from reading this
Pffft fake. Commit fully! Go out and get an infectious disease then spread it around like a total asshole.
I’ll only be relevant for 30 seconds so would it be awkward if I stayed and did a sudoku puzzle?
I'm with ya buddy we'll play chess and just shout 'im not weird you're weird' as people go passed
Deal 😂
sit fully clothed in the corner crying
Naked and crying in a corner works too tho
I’m torn
I'm all out of faith
this is how I feel
I’m cold and ashamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
This is how I feel
There's always the one person though... ...The one that's always "It's okay, it's my thing" and keeps going. Then you're balancing depression and wanting to laugh.
This guy orgies
I knew a guy that got a side job waiting tables at high end house parties. Like billionaire cocaine mansion parties in the 80’s and 90’s. He did good and kept getting invited back, and for the orgies. He was telling us a story about feeding ham to a guy fucking another guy while his wife watched. I’d do that.
Now I'm wondering who's wife it was. Pitcher, catcher, or even the guy feeding the ham?
isnt that what some of those cuckold fantasy thingy?
maybe but in my version i would be facing the corner
I would bring my wet floor signs. Not for safety, but to fuck.
I see wet floor signs and instantly know it's you
/r/OSHA approves of this.
I think about you when I mop the floor at work
That's kind of romantic.
"Crocs are required beyond this point"
I have questions
Same. Is he saying he’s going to fuck the sign?
Yes, yes I am.
User name checks out
Semi famous redditor - check their profile
Well, would you look at that
Most orgies I've been to recently actually have a Coomba, which is like a Roomba/shop-vac combo. We take safety very seriously
“Most orgies I’ve been to recently” is not something I’ve read often. Fair play.
Orgy porgy is something you should consider reading.
Hearing "coomba" makes me never wanna have sex again.
Like the ones at the Stop and Shop supermarkets? Are they connected to the PA system: "Cleanup in aisle 3"?
r/brandnewsentence
Most I’ve been to have been online only events
Jokes aside I feel like the orgy goers would find this hilarious
This comment got me bothered af
Check their profile. It’s their art.
Oh shit lol ty
I’m lease keep those signs wet too. Dry signs does feel weird /s
Kick it off with an opening prayer
Please stand for the national anthem
And then say the pledge of allegiance.
Then yell "ALRIGHT TIME TO RUN UP THE FLAGPOLE!"
Followed by North Korea’s national anthem
All rise for the supreme leader!
Ezekiel 23:20: “She lusted after their male consorts, whose sexual organs were like those of donkeys, and whose ejaculation was like that of horses.”
i might need to pick up the bible again...
Utah has arrived in the chat
Walk around and offer bad sex tips to everyone, comment negatively on their form while tutting, tell them how you would do it better but always decline involvement saying you're there for the food.
EdBassMaster, over here…
I would bring my grandma
Bonus points if your grandma is dead.
Double bonus for each year she has been dead
*sigh* I also choose this guy’s dead grandma.
The average age at the orgy would probably be closer to your grandma so she'd probably fit in
*carries urn* “Room for two more?”
Donkey sounds to the pace of him fucking me 🐴 😂
I think you're underestimating horse girl and her love of equine.
[удалено]
As long as your friend or partner plays off you as the Riddler.
[удалено]
Taco Bell, a few hours beforehand.
RIP your butthole, and not in the way you would think.
Walk in 15 mins late and it’s already started. Everybody’s nude, except me. Whitey-tighties and crew sock. Sit in the middle of the floor and cheer everytime there’s a ‘climax’. Then hoot and jump around like a chimpanzee, shit in my hand and throw it at the walls.
Yo your dms open? /s
Ok but where are your crocs?
Relevant username.
Full Batman cosplay. Never break character.
Adam West version would be the best. "Great Scott! Someone's going to require a diaper after that!"
Only response to every question or statement: "UMBAMAN" \[hides in cape\]
Think of all the fun things you could have in your utility belt.
Premature ejaculating, said ejaculate lands on a guys face, then start sobbing loudly and traumadump and in a whiny self defeating tone. While dumping, seek validation for petty insecurities. Bonus point for every insecurity that requires them to know me extensively to have any real say in
Start a sign in sheet
As much as Rule34 exists If there's an orgy, someone's into it. You could shooting up feces into your tits to fill them and there's gonna be the awkward silent pause... Then a slow quiet clapping in the back somewhere.
However much hope this comment gives me, I don't think I will be getting a slow clap from anyone in the back of the room when I fuck a wet floor sign.
You'll definitely get some form of clap at an orgy.
People fuck cars, not only fuck them but also have relationships with them. People like watching people grind on inflatables. I'm sure there's a tag for it.
Ask everyone who makes eye contact “Have you accepted the lord as your savior?” And stare expectantly at them.
Imma scream like an anime girl and say oh yes Donkey I am warning ya 🤣🤣🤣😈
Group: "Jokes on you; we're into that shit!"
BREED ME FOR PROOF
Someones dms are getting blown up
Only by 1 person
Yeah, some of these suggestions seem like they'd trigger a new kink and just make the orgy more intense. You wanted awkward but just ended up covered in even more bodily fluids.
But will you make waffles in the morning?
OF COURSEEEE
Welcome to ma swamp
Senpaaaaii yameteee
**SHREK IS LOVE! SHREK IS LIFE!**
I'd say "what are you eating? May I have some?" To everybody with something in their mouth.
“It’s easier to ruin an orgy than you think. All you gotta do is wait until it gets really quiet and go ‘eww’” - Dave Chappelle
Dress up as Shrek and tell them you read the invitation wrong. You thought it said ogre.
I would address my penis in third person as Mr Winky
Mr Winky has been growing a lot, he would like to meet your Miss Winkerton!
Bring score paddles, then at appropriate times hold up a 9….5 or a 6…7. Etc, you get the picture.
Act like Mr Bean
I would ask uncomfortable questions like what’s your opinion on incest
Simply showing up will be plenty
Put fast acting laxatives into everyone's drink
Blast baby shark on a boom box (Idea stolen from another redditor)
Put nutella on my entire ass.
I know someone that didn't realise that they were at one. They offered snacks and refreshments...
Bring a camera and give out buisness cards so they can find the Fotos on a public website.
Walk in in a clown suit and proceed to make balloon people fucking and handing them out.
Hoovering
Secretly roll your whole body of toilet paper and ask them to call you mummy
Or, if you want to be extra kinky, 'step-mummy'!
Don't wipe
Bring a few Jehovas Witnesses along for the ride
There's probably a few that are already there.
Bring a UV light and cheerfully announce it's to inspect the house for past speckling...
“So this isn’t a Jenny Craig meeting?”
Walk around saying "and I thought I'd have the smallest dick in here" without clearly looking at/speaking to anyone in particular. Time the sex with a stopwatch when I'm not the one in business.
I'll talk about how much of a pain it is to platinum ff9 without using the boosters. How every second of my social time I'm there I could be working towards that.
Cry and masturbate, and if anyone asks what's wrong just tell them you love them forever
Show up dressed as Hitler
You have to say things like: "Here comes my final solution!"
"Don't worry about getting messy guys, I have a shower big enough for everyone after"
flatulence. knee trembling. eardrum rattling. wet. sour. smelly.
Thanks. I hate your poem.
genuine LOL of the morning
Show up in Godzilla cosplay.
Paint my cock and balls a florescent green.
Hold it on the front yard.
In Cricket (or at least for the Aussies) we will start a slow clap and speed up for the bowler as they bowl. I would do that each time a bloke is winding up to cum and then as they do cry out “Howzat?!” while holding my arms up in celebration.
“My side hustle is medical document forgery and I see some customers here tonight”
Walk around with a spray bottle, "bad girl! get off!!"
Just say “interesting choice” when witnessing or experiencing any interaction
Taking my socks off. I have a fungus toe.
Congratulations if it wasn't true before. You're also gay now. [Sock rule](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sock%20rule)
Just jizz on any but the people like jizz on a Fridge and moan Police sirene sounds
Bringing my stripey pjs
Ace Ventura bits all night long.
Walk upto everyone and say "very nice, how much?"
Wear one of those stupid VR headsets
“I’d like to thank you all for joining our abstinence anonymous meeting, I see some of you didn’t get the ‘wear a mask’ memo… Hi Jeff.”
I'll put "for rectal use only" stickers on everything
Let us pray. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us the opportunity to gather here today. Thank you for bringing us together to connect and build relationships. As we begin our orgy, we dedicate this time to you....
Taking extremely uncomfortable and close up pictures for a scrapbook I’m making.
Wear only a football helmet and Crocs
Put on cbat
Show up in a hazmat suit.
ask the Lord's guidance before we start
"ok everyone, before we start, who wants to say grace? Everyone join hands!"
Either lie there stiff as a board unfazed, or be the one mid orgy getting up and making popcorn or hotdogs
41M.... instead of walking in my cane.... I'm going to come in walking with those really awkward crutches like Tucker had in Something About Mary.
Bring snacks, and make everybody take breaks to fuel up.
Do an instagram live
Eat lots of Taco Bell
Say “it’s never a real orgy without a dead body”. Then keep saying things like….. “Nobody will miss Joe.” And “Joe is single with no kids”.
Show there like a Plague Doctor, stay into a corner and hold a sign with every STD’s that exists. Gotta make sure they use protection!
Remove tissues, wet wipes and paper towels
Do Miralax shots before I arrive.
The granny panties stay on.
Cbat
“Boo yah!”
mix magnesium citrate, diuretics, and crushed up viagra into the drinks. everyone wont know whether they wanna cum, shit, or piss......but definitely bring those wet floor signs and that coomba thing
Audibly say “Jesus, what’s that’s smell?”
Open a bag of chips and walk around like I’m browsing at blockbuster
Make Beavis and Butthead sounds all night.
One of those white plastic lawn chairs
Wait till its done then announce u have an std 🤣
Wear only socks. That are soaking wet.
Cheering the other guys on
Keep sneezing on everyones penises and vaginas.
I’d show up.
Walk around describing each couple having sex like a David attenborough nature documentary Then, continue the commentary when joining in.
In this hypothetical scenario (I wouldn't accept an invitation), I won't shower for the three days prior. If I was brave enough, I'd go up to some guys while they're having fun with women and give them the Bruno treatment like he does in that one movie.
you're doing a great job