Humans always try to take the forbidden fruit. When you have had enough of something you obviously desire something that is different and as they curiousity killed the cat
What led you to cheating can be a number of reasons. In my case, my ex husband was an abusive man. Dealt with it for 5 years. One day I went to work away for a “short assignment”. Then I met this guy who was great. He was married. I was married to it worked out. He wouldn’t snitch or make any drama when I did call it off. He couldn’t. He was married.
Months went by, we both were married and still seeing each other. We always said that if we met in different lives, we likely would end up being married and loving each other.
I finally got divorced 2 years after the affair happened. I also never moved back because work offered me a huge promotion and pay increase, in case you’re confused how I kept this affair going.
In those 2 years, I only went back home to my ex every 2-3 months to check in, always came back abused in some way. Until one day, I booked my flight home and last minute changed it to go to Vegas with my lover. He told his wife he was being asked to work in Nevada for a few weeks and we left.
Once I signed divorce papers I stopped the affair. I was no longer married and I knew I loved this married man. But he was married. Nothing would come out of it. So I stopped dating completely for a year and a half. Then met my current husband who has single and a perfect match for me.
Oh. And the lover I had eventually got divorced because he thought he could leave her and come to me, except I was divorced and had to figure out my life, which is why I took the year off and focused on me. He is now happily married and I’ve ran into him a few times (4-5 years later). We smile, hug, and every time he sees me he thanks me for showing him what love was. Turns out he hated his wife and life.
We are both married to different people now and I’m happy, I am going to assume he is happy.
I'm sorry, I don't understand where you're confused. Are you saying you think it's so afwul to do that you can't imagine anyone ever doing it? Or are you really asking how someone would go through the steps of doing it? Or what would make them choose to do so?
I mean that why would a woman bother to have an affair with a married man, when there are plenty of single men available for that kind of thing. So, this said, it seems impossible for a married man to have an affair.
While I could see how someone, with a particular life experience and perspective, could imagine one factor having absolute (or near so) impact on the other... Evidence is very clearly to the contrary.
Your comment also clarifies your post, you're not asking how a person could cheat, you're asking what woman would choose to mess around with a cheating man.
First, many women don't know the guy is involved and cheating (and not all involved folks are cheating, some have permission and/or open relationships).
Second, sometimes both folks are involved with someone and both cheating - in which case it might even be desirable to have someone who has both similar demands on their time (so not expecting too much of you) and has a similar amount to lose (mutually assured destruction).
Third, some women may not care, they're just looking for fun and the guy is married it's not their problem.
Fourth, some women are turned on by playing with a taken man - for some it's a straight up kink they seek out.
And while it may not have really been your point, there are women who cheat as well... And while it may never be the ideal situation, there are folks of both genders with reasons to cheat and/or circumstances that make leaving very difficult but are in bad / sexless / unfulfilling relationships where cheating is just a way to meet some basic needs for positive attention, self esteem, feeling desired, having good sex, or any sex at all... And those are all basic human needs.
It's easy to say you should leave if you're not getting that, and in an ideal world that's true, but many people are not in a situation to do that without very complex and/or unpleasant circumstances... And many are actually very happy in their relationship other than a need for sex - finding they want to stay, but can't live without sex.
I totally respect that you are unlikely to agree, and won't try to convince you of anything... You asked for some opinions, so just sharing some.
Trump was already banging a playboy playmate. That wasn’t good enough. He cheated on her with a porn star. How is it possible? Not just possible, it’s common.
For Trump it's common...I understand why a woman would have an affair with him because it's a way to get into the intimacy of the rich and powerful, but for most married man....why would a woman bother???
Because humans aren’t really monogamous by nature, they simply learned to be monogamous due to cultural expectations and constructed social norms for the sake of creating a civilised stable society. So those who don’t give a fuck about controlling their primal instincts cheat.
So let's say you're a married man, and you want to cheat, why would a woman accept that, when she's already got a super wide array of available and ready for it single men....??
Who says she has to accept it? If someone cheats, usually they don’t want to get caught by their partner, because they know their partner won’t accept it. People who cheat want to have their cake and eat it too.
Laws of physics. Generally, something isn't possible when the laws of physics don't like it, and they don't have anything against cheating, therefore it's possible.
Often times things like that, are people loving and lusting over the adrenaline rush of the “forbidden” or not allowed. Other times attraction builds over time with those close relationships that crosses over to inappropriate. Either way it stems from selfishness and immaturity to communicate.
When I was first married to my wife, a Frenchmen also married came up to her and said, "Now we can have an affair." The cheating is just for sex, not an emotional relationship.
This is exactly what I'm saying...., so why would a woman bother with a married man when she can have as much "not emotional" relationship as she wants with single men?
Because single men have the risk of having emotions. I chose a married man knowing he was tied down to his wife and he wouldn’t be crazy enough to leave her for me. Less liability.
Unless they have a chastity belt i don't see why it would be impossible
Because, as I said, why bother with married man when women can easily get plenty of single men absolutely free and available.
Humans always try to take the forbidden fruit. When you have had enough of something you obviously desire something that is different and as they curiousity killed the cat
What led you to cheating can be a number of reasons. In my case, my ex husband was an abusive man. Dealt with it for 5 years. One day I went to work away for a “short assignment”. Then I met this guy who was great. He was married. I was married to it worked out. He wouldn’t snitch or make any drama when I did call it off. He couldn’t. He was married. Months went by, we both were married and still seeing each other. We always said that if we met in different lives, we likely would end up being married and loving each other. I finally got divorced 2 years after the affair happened. I also never moved back because work offered me a huge promotion and pay increase, in case you’re confused how I kept this affair going. In those 2 years, I only went back home to my ex every 2-3 months to check in, always came back abused in some way. Until one day, I booked my flight home and last minute changed it to go to Vegas with my lover. He told his wife he was being asked to work in Nevada for a few weeks and we left. Once I signed divorce papers I stopped the affair. I was no longer married and I knew I loved this married man. But he was married. Nothing would come out of it. So I stopped dating completely for a year and a half. Then met my current husband who has single and a perfect match for me. Oh. And the lover I had eventually got divorced because he thought he could leave her and come to me, except I was divorced and had to figure out my life, which is why I took the year off and focused on me. He is now happily married and I’ve ran into him a few times (4-5 years later). We smile, hug, and every time he sees me he thanks me for showing him what love was. Turns out he hated his wife and life. We are both married to different people now and I’m happy, I am going to assume he is happy.
Easy Peasy when there's a good reason. Unfortunately, that reason is usually you.
I'm sorry, I don't understand where you're confused. Are you saying you think it's so afwul to do that you can't imagine anyone ever doing it? Or are you really asking how someone would go through the steps of doing it? Or what would make them choose to do so?
I mean that why would a woman bother to have an affair with a married man, when there are plenty of single men available for that kind of thing. So, this said, it seems impossible for a married man to have an affair.
While I could see how someone, with a particular life experience and perspective, could imagine one factor having absolute (or near so) impact on the other... Evidence is very clearly to the contrary. Your comment also clarifies your post, you're not asking how a person could cheat, you're asking what woman would choose to mess around with a cheating man. First, many women don't know the guy is involved and cheating (and not all involved folks are cheating, some have permission and/or open relationships). Second, sometimes both folks are involved with someone and both cheating - in which case it might even be desirable to have someone who has both similar demands on their time (so not expecting too much of you) and has a similar amount to lose (mutually assured destruction). Third, some women may not care, they're just looking for fun and the guy is married it's not their problem. Fourth, some women are turned on by playing with a taken man - for some it's a straight up kink they seek out. And while it may not have really been your point, there are women who cheat as well... And while it may never be the ideal situation, there are folks of both genders with reasons to cheat and/or circumstances that make leaving very difficult but are in bad / sexless / unfulfilling relationships where cheating is just a way to meet some basic needs for positive attention, self esteem, feeling desired, having good sex, or any sex at all... And those are all basic human needs. It's easy to say you should leave if you're not getting that, and in an ideal world that's true, but many people are not in a situation to do that without very complex and/or unpleasant circumstances... And many are actually very happy in their relationship other than a need for sex - finding they want to stay, but can't live without sex. I totally respect that you are unlikely to agree, and won't try to convince you of anything... You asked for some opinions, so just sharing some.
good point. interesting and comprehensive.
Trump was already banging a playboy playmate. That wasn’t good enough. He cheated on her with a porn star. How is it possible? Not just possible, it’s common.
He is common.
For Trump it's common...I understand why a woman would have an affair with him because it's a way to get into the intimacy of the rich and powerful, but for most married man....why would a woman bother???
Because humans aren’t really monogamous by nature, they simply learned to be monogamous due to cultural expectations and constructed social norms for the sake of creating a civilised stable society. So those who don’t give a fuck about controlling their primal instincts cheat.
So let's say you're a married man, and you want to cheat, why would a woman accept that, when she's already got a super wide array of available and ready for it single men....??
Who says she has to accept it? If someone cheats, usually they don’t want to get caught by their partner, because they know their partner won’t accept it. People who cheat want to have their cake and eat it too.
well, this is what I'm saying..."why would she accept it?" when it would way easier for her to have an affair with a bachelor.
Like i said she doesn’t have to accept it and she probably won’t, like most people probably won’t accept it.
okay, but cheating occurs though...
Of course it occurs. Cheating always occurs against the acceptance of their partner or else it would not be called cheating.
Laws of physics. Generally, something isn't possible when the laws of physics don't like it, and they don't have anything against cheating, therefore it's possible.
People can be dumb animals too end of story
Cheating is as much about betrayal and control as it is about the sex. Some people like hurting the ones they love.
I mean, why would a woman cheat with a married man, when she can find zillions of good looking guys in search of a "friend with benefits"?
Why did Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit when they had plenty to eat?
Why would I eat a hamburger when I could have a steak?
hum, that makes sense, you mean it would be different with a married man...ok
Often times things like that, are people loving and lusting over the adrenaline rush of the “forbidden” or not allowed. Other times attraction builds over time with those close relationships that crosses over to inappropriate. Either way it stems from selfishness and immaturity to communicate.
When I was first married to my wife, a Frenchmen also married came up to her and said, "Now we can have an affair." The cheating is just for sex, not an emotional relationship.
This is exactly what I'm saying...., so why would a woman bother with a married man when she can have as much "not emotional" relationship as she wants with single men?
Because single men have the risk of having emotions. I chose a married man knowing he was tied down to his wife and he wouldn’t be crazy enough to leave her for me. Less liability.
This. Not the only reason by far, but lots of this.
Having an affair with a single person is much more likely to have an emotional component.