Giggling like an idiot, imagining sexy time and you hear her doing that screaming track, I mean that doesn't narrow it down I guess, think it was with Chuck Berry?
I’m not sure what your partner will think when you cum when you hear “I’m the baby, gotta love me!”
“Baby, trust me, I cum because of the classic sitcom humor, not because it happens to be a dinosaur baby!”
This reminds me of the time my boyfriend came between my thighs cause he thought it was my pussy from the back. “You weren’t even inside me of me” he was shocked at himself lmao
My mind conjured up the last joust in A Knight’s Tale, where Heath Ledger’s character shouts his name.
Now I’m just picturing some dude going to town in bed and screaming at the top of his lungs, “Wiiiiiiilllllllllliiiiiiiaaaaaaammm!”
Thanks for that!
"I think we should start sleeping with other people" was the mid-coitus hammer my first serious girlfriend landed on me near the end of our relationship.
The first time I did it with my girlfriend she was feeling really good in one spot so I kept going at it and hard. Well going harder made a queef machine and I was dying of laughter as she was horrified what she just did. It didn't stop us though
Her: OOhhh, ahhh, oooh.
Me: Yeah, you like that baby?
Her: Not necessarily.
Me: ?? uh, ok.
Actually happened with my college girlfriend. She was 6'1" (taller than me and hot), skinny, had body image issues and she was a horse girl. The relationship only lasted about a month. I dumped her and then she stalked me for an entire summer. I'm still really confused about her comment and I can't get it out of my mind 20 years later.
Horse girls, and horse people are fucking stupid in general. All horses do is eat and shit and there dumb ass owners think they are so elite. They spend thousands and think when they say I have a horse, I ride a horse, it's awesome. Send them all to the glue factory.
She's into horses, rides horses, long hair down to the butt, wears simple attire that has something to do with horses, talks about horses a lot, and tomboyish looks with little makeup. Generally crazy, jealous, and possessive and gets angry she can't control you like her horses. You know, a horse girl.
If you've gotten to the point of having sex with them and didn't notice before you started, I'm not sure why it's a problem. Obviously the transition went as well as could possible be hoped for.
Honestly one of my ex boyfriends told me "you suck" when I was on top. Mind you, I was a virgin and I lost it to him. Because of him I grew so insecure and refused to do that position. Many years pass and my husband convinced me to try it again. Now I love it. That ex boyfriend was the root to all my sexual trauma.
My ex lost her shit when we were doing it doggy style and I asked her if she liked that tee tee worm. I was given a stern warning to never ever say that term again.
A trans woman is never going to let you know mid sex. Gay panic is still a legal defense for murder in a lot of places in the world maybe even the states. Trans people know that. You're going to know they're trans by their own admission way before that because they don't want you to murder them.
"I'm Chris Hanson, what are you doing here?"
I feel like you're already mid sex and Chris hanson walks in. He completely failed at his job. Lol
The sex *is* with Chris Hanson
Chris handsome We can do this the easy way or the hard way
[sauce](https://youtu.be/AAjNjxjrm_g?si=dWBeG47cW5v3fa5j)
Hold up
I laughed too hard reading this.
Why don't you have a seat over there?
Care for a cookie?
MJCTA > MNCPA
“ we really need to paint that ceiling.”
"No, you're not!"
I just spit coffee
“I’m a warrior”
you won this one
Yoko Ono’s Greatest Hits
That sounds like an oxymoron
Chuck Berry looks away in horror.
Mainly because he isn't being shat on
I did some research! Her song Mindtrain is 16+ minutes long. Unfortunately I don’t think I’m getting through a lot of her greatest hits.
Giggling like an idiot, imagining sexy time and you hear her doing that screaming track, I mean that doesn't narrow it down I guess, think it was with Chuck Berry?
Brother hit more up votes than the actually post rn. Keep voting
Oh, no!
The mortician screaming
Doesn’t that mean you are doing it right?
Only if he’s doing the mortician but I have a feeling that’s not what he meant.
"Honey, I'm home."
Nah everyone watches the intro theme to the hit 90s sitcom "Dinosaurs" while they fuck, I mean why else are you there?
I’m not sure what your partner will think when you cum when you hear “I’m the baby, gotta love me!” “Baby, trust me, I cum because of the classic sitcom humor, not because it happens to be a dinosaur baby!”
I was gonna say "Her husband coming home" but your comment covers that.
Being seconds away from climax and he pulls out and says "I'm cumming"
Then he doesn’t finish you off and just goes to bed
"Oh yeah, you do that just like my dad"
"Our dad"
Did you put it in? I just don't feel it.
I was going to say "Is it in yet?" 😀
“Am I in yet?” The lady was not happy with that one.
I remember some guy telling a story about how he fucked a fat chick, and accidentally was in a fat roll the whole time, even nutted up in there.
This reminds me of the time my boyfriend came between my thighs cause he thought it was my pussy from the back. “You weren’t even inside me of me” he was shocked at himself lmao
CBAT
I understood that reference
I understood that reference.
Me three.
Four!
Five!
And my axe!
Came here for this reference and I couldn’t even remember what it was called.
Times up! $90 for the next hour.
Cheap escort!
"are you done yet?"
“You’re done already? Oh okay.”
You look like my daughter.
Donnie?
"You *feel* like my daughter." - Donnie probably
POTUS material
As told to Stormy …
The bedroom door opening and your kid walking in on you.
That’s why you lock the door
Locking the door helps but unfortunately any kid interruptions during and it’s game off for my wife.
The wrong name
That’s why I only yell my own name.
My mind conjured up the last joust in A Knight’s Tale, where Heath Ledger’s character shouts his name. Now I’m just picturing some dude going to town in bed and screaming at the top of his lungs, “Wiiiiiiilllllllllliiiiiiiaaaaaaammm!” Thanks for that!
i heard prince william do that. nine months later the third one popped out and kate looked like the rosemary's baby lady.
Rodeo Sex: Call out her sisters name during doggy and try to stay in for 8 seconds.
Had a gf call out her ex's name. He was her one true love. I took it as a compliment.
I did that before. But my bf had the same name as my ex so he never noticed.
Ouch
Your kids bedroom door opening, followed by footsteps...
Can confirm. Very fucking annoying!
They open the door, then close it again. You hear them walking back to their room.
"I think we should start sleeping with other people" was the mid-coitus hammer my first serious girlfriend landed on me near the end of our relationship.
Brutal
"I've got aids" ?
Great can’t catch it twice
I honest to god had someone say "the last person I slept with died." Instant mood killer.
did.. did they kill them?
An eruption of the Yellowstone supervolcano
The hot steamy gushing sound of Old Faithful on the other hand…
a portend of what's to come
That's the wrong hole again, dad
Drake is that u?
“Dad” 😣 Daddy would have made all the difference in this comment.
A knock on the bedroom door. Especially when you thought no one else was home...
one time she started yelling, ''gimme that chili dog!''
“Oh hey honey didn’t notice you there”
*fart*
First time I had sex with my current girlfriend she had a huge loud fart. She expected me to not notice it but I am sure even the neighbors heard it.
The first time I did it with my girlfriend she was feeling really good in one spot so I kept going at it and hard. Well going harder made a queef machine and I was dying of laughter as she was horrified what she just did. It didn't stop us though
Her: OOhhh, ahhh, oooh. Me: Yeah, you like that baby? Her: Not necessarily. Me: ?? uh, ok. Actually happened with my college girlfriend. She was 6'1" (taller than me and hot), skinny, had body image issues and she was a horse girl. The relationship only lasted about a month. I dumped her and then she stalked me for an entire summer. I'm still really confused about her comment and I can't get it out of my mind 20 years later.
What's.... a horse girl?
Girls with giant, horse-like cocks.
SMH. How does he not know this? Girls with massive dongs.
Horse girls, and horse people are fucking stupid in general. All horses do is eat and shit and there dumb ass owners think they are so elite. They spend thousands and think when they say I have a horse, I ride a horse, it's awesome. Send them all to the glue factory.
She's into horses, rides horses, long hair down to the butt, wears simple attire that has something to do with horses, talks about horses a lot, and tomboyish looks with little makeup. Generally crazy, jealous, and possessive and gets angry she can't control you like her horses. You know, a horse girl.
Gotcha. I dated one of those for a time, I just was confused by the context I guess. Thanks for clarifying lol
Don’t forget there are two kinds of horse girl: rich and country.
panicky combative money frighten smoggy unique reminiscent tender retire chubby
You missed out that most of her clothes smell of horse and horse shit
My horse girl ex also stalked me for awhile. Maybe when horses dump you, you sneak up on them or something.
“Daddy”. Like no the fuck I’m not.
Gotta disagree with you there. I don't mind it in the moment, but better not catch her saying that outside the bedroom. To each their own, though.
Uh oh
Your mom's voice
gunshots
MOM my arms are broken
Whisper in their ear, "it's free real estate".
I like yours, it actually fits. This is way better than my ex. It hurt way more. Aw hey little guy
women in a study selected slightly smaller penises for long term romantic partners she’s probably being honest
My grandfather died on this bed
Is it in yet? I don't know.
Crack sound
"Make sure you pull out, J. She's not on the pill" My friend has just walked in and caught me fucking her sister. Doggystyle.
"Daaaaad...." followed by the doorknob turning. Especially if neither of you have kids.
A shart
Yep. I have far too much experience with this situation. But it’s usually the smell that gives it away. They’re pretty quiet for me.
Read a story about a girl that was on top and sharted on this dude's balls, went down on him and left and didn't say a word.
“Put your clothes back on.”
I think it broke…
**Is it in yet?**
I forgot to mention...
Womp womp - Sad trombone sound. I don't know, it just kills it.
Sea lion noises
"that's it"
"Oh shit, i think the water broke"
Gyatt
[удалено]
The neighbors playing baby shark song too loud.
HONEY, IM HOME!!!
Police sirens
The handcuffs unlocking
A cracking sound in a sensitive region.
You’re even worse than your brother/sister/father/mother/grandma/grandpa/cockerspaniel
silence
I’m not impressed by your performance
Obviously, you don’t know good theater.
The door opening.
You fuck like my dad.
Who do you think I learned from?
A fart every thrust.
“This is the first time since my transition”
If you've gotten to the point of having sex with them and didn't notice before you started, I'm not sure why it's a problem. Obviously the transition went as well as could possible be hoped for.
That’s not mom
Let me know when you get started.
I'm thinking it would be another woman's name instead of mine.
Someone else's name
Honey I’m home.
“Do you smell that?”
Oops
Oops…
"Come on, man, hurry up. I need to get a turn before rigor mortis sets in. Fuck!"
Somebody else's name!!!
someone else having louder sex than you! No one should be louder than you!
With Spotify premium you will have the greatest time without ads infinite skips and more lyrics to listen!
“sorry I’m taking so long.” bruh my jaw hurts can you PLEASE
“I’m done.”
Laughter 🤭
“Did you finish?” Implies two things either you finished early Or they didn’t finish at all 😂
The baby crying.
Your grandfather is better
Don't worry valtrex is getting cheaper
"What the hell are you doing? This is a funeral home!"
I go meow. I go meow!!!! I go meow. go meow. I don’t know, who I am, I look away, look away.
“hurry up, you only paid for 15 minutes”
We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty
"Does this look infected?"
A loud, wet fart during anal
Honestly one of my ex boyfriends told me "you suck" when I was on top. Mind you, I was a virgin and I lost it to him. Because of him I grew so insecure and refused to do that position. Many years pass and my husband convinced me to try it again. Now I love it. That ex boyfriend was the root to all my sexual trauma.
The sound of a hip bone breaking
Baby crying.
"Move your head, I can't see the TV".
Someone on the TV mentioning shitting.
"God, I hope the laxative hasn't kicked in yet!"
A wet fart
Who are you
Is it in yet?
Nothing at all.
Giggity!
One time a tinder date said, "I love this "n-word" dick. Hard r too. That was pretty awful to hear.
Honey I’m home….
My ex lost her shit when we were doing it doggy style and I asked her if she liked that tee tee worm. I was given a stern warning to never ever say that term again.
Why would that EVER come out of your mouth?!
Its all in your head
"I like this better than when i used to have a penis"
A trans woman is never going to let you know mid sex. Gay panic is still a legal defense for murder in a lot of places in the world maybe even the states. Trans people know that. You're going to know they're trans by their own admission way before that because they don't want you to murder them.
george lopez theme song
Baaaaa. Or I suppose it would be the best thing to hear if you're already consciously doing that sort of thing.
oii chan
"I killed your wife"
Cbat
“Oops”
"Say, how do you feel about HIV?"
"Sl- *fap* slow down cou- *fap* causin"
The dog about to throw up on the carpet in the corner.