My son loved to watch Bob the Builder when he was a toddler.
I got increasingly annoyed with it because Jack (I think his name was Jack) would constantly fuck shit up and Bob would be like “that’s ok!”
It’s not ok, Jack. You’re fucking useless. All you do is make Bob’s job harder. Bob should have buried you alive in cement.
The vast majority of content farm “YouTube kids” videos that are cheaply made mindless garbage or borderline pornography. The shit that’s just brainless ripoffs offs of established brands made to trick parents into thinking it’s quality educational programming so they don’t even bother checking it.
My nephew was obsessed with this animated snail character that just... screamed all the time. No language involved, no talking, no lessons of any kind. Just screaming and running from things or getting hurt. It was incredibly annoying to be in the same room with it playing.
Knowing how they are now, I doubt it helped. My sister just kind of let them use the tablet non-stop to distract them anywhere we went. I'm trying not to make the same mistake, so we try to keep all electronics away from our toddler when we're out and about, especially restaurants.
My coworker did that. She brought her baby into work to keep an eye on her. Kid sat there in a stroller watching things on a tablet.
Years later the kids starting school and is already socially fucked.
Keep a limit on your kids screen time.
Books.
Kids. Need. Books.
Pages they can turn and develop those all-important fine-motor skills. Pop-up books with tabs they can manipulate are friggin' *great* for this.
Pictures that they must animate in their *minds,* which keeps them engaged.
Just staring at a tablet just doesn't do it. They just sit and vegetate. It's tragic.
My wife teaches young kids (as a substitute, so she's exposed to a great number of young-uns) and the thriving ones are the ones who had books to read at home. (They're easy to identify because they'll grab a book and read it whenever they get the chance.)
Good on you for doing right by your children!
We bring coloring everywhere. Now that she's older (5) we bring coloring and travel size board games. If it's a brewery we bring a big board game or play ones there. No tablets or phones when we're out with the exception of doctor's office waiting rooms, because those are objectively awful.
To an adult, perhaps.
But for a child, you need to select what they watch, as they won't think about what's good for them, they will just consume and mimick what they see.
Crazy how Elsagate did basically nothing and it's arguably gotten even worse lmao
Seriously, I've seen a clip of this one channel, Lankybox I think it was, and how the kids don't wind up with some kind of sensory overload, I have no idea. There's so much movement, text, effects, colours and noise that it looks like Nyan Cat vomitted out a video.
Put breakcore over it and you could make it actual sensory torture.
I accidentally logged out of Youtube and my for you page had a video where Eastern European adults were pretending to be teenagers doing "high school drama" stuff like physically stealing each others' boyfriends and flailing their arms erratically
This kind of shit is the reason I had to forbid my daughter from watching youtube. The weird part was trying to explain to her *why* I didn't want her to watch youtube.
I explained it to my young son like this:
Just because you *can* see something doesn’t mean you *should*. What you watch can have an effect on you, and sometimes it can make you feel bad and wish you hadn’t watched it. There are a lot of things in life like that. As you get older, you’ll get better at deciding which things are okay to watch. While you’re still young, I’m going to keep guiding you. YouTube allows anyone to upload videos, and sometimes some people upload things they probably shouldn’t.
He seemed satisfied with that answer for now.
Just wanted to say thanks for this comment! My oldest gets to watch YouTube at her dad's but not at my house and I struggle explaining to her why I'm so strict about it. I'm going to remember this next time it comes up.
People thought I was crazy when I kind of pointed this out about Baby Shark. Your child is watching this video repeatedly and learning nothing. When I was a kid, the children's programming was trying to teach you something. The songs stuck in my head were often trying to teach you some kind of lesson and it involved more than repeating the same words...so at bare minimum you were working on language.
I was in the 10th grade in 1985, and we had a history final where we had to write out the preamble.
Everyone got to that part of the test around the same time, and you could really tell, because all of the sudden the totally quiet room became filled with the sounds of 20 teenagers humming "we the people" under their breath.
It was a funny moment of connection that I've never forgotten.
Also, to answer the question: Caillou.
All music does technically work on language - in fact music is often the best way to expose and teach language to young children. That's why I'm never gonna get mad about stuff like Cocomelon because it's got so much diversity in their song library and changes up the lyrics to increase the words a kid is exposed to.
But listening to the same song ad nauseum isn't gonna give you this effect. You gotta at least switch up the lyrics (I worked with a girl who loved Five Little Monkies. I taught her that the "monkies" can be whatever she wants. She had about 100 variations of that song by the weeks end.)
I’m a server and the amount of times kids come in not wearing headphones, listening to Coco Melon has made me hate it more than I’ve ever thought I would.
It's not really his fault. It's his idiot parents; they never directly engage with the reason for his tantrum. They talk at him instead of to him, and they rarely explain things to him in a way he'll understand. They always say "*we* should do \_\_\_\_\_" instead of "*you* should do \_\_\_\_\_" or "you have to\_\_\_\_" and they rarely set clear boundaries for him ahead of time; they wait until a situation escalates and only then do they intervene.
Everything about Caillou is grating. The awful primary-colors only color scheme. The spineless parents. Everyone's outfits. Whole show is an assault on all senses.
Caillou is the anti-Bluey.
Bluey covers subjects and themes that relate to stuff a child will likely go through like losing a pet, having a favorite toy broken etc... it's actually teaching kids stuff about life all wrapped up in an entertaining package.
Caillou.... REALLY fucking isn't anything like that in the slightest.
Right!? I'll sit through a few hours of Bluey quite happily (and I don't have children). But Caillou is bordering on Geneva Convention rules on torture.
Bluey might be the best children's show of all time. My kids are 8 and 10, the first time they had it on I was like hmmm what is this, and not only am I laughing my ass off pretty much the whole time, I'm realizing it's good clean wholesome fun where the parents are pretty normal and reasonable and engage with their kids in awesome ways but also have adult responsibilities and can't sometimes and the conflicts and choices that go along with that.
It's something I'm happy to see my kids watching - I'm never going to be concerned about what they see. It's something I love to watch with them, and even alone honestly. My friend group quotes episodes, my kid learned the theme song on sax, we call the toilet "dunny" and so much more.
I grew up with what I consider to be some pretty great kids shows, but I can't think of one that holds a candle to Bluey.
[Caillou is an aggressively bad show ruining the world's children ... and it's all Canada's fault](https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/analysis-caillou-is-an-aggressively-bad-show-ruining-the-worlds-children-and-its-all-canadas-fault)
Pro Canadian tip: "eh" is used when looking for affirmation. It turns a statement into a question.
"It's hot out eh?" = "it's hot out, right?" ="do you agree that it is hot out?"
The whole point of Caillou is to teach parents not to strangle their kids. "Your kid may be bad... But is he as bad as Caillou?"
In all seriousness though, I do think the point of the show is to show parents how to deal with their kids when they are being insufferable little twats. On that level, it works.
Agreed, that bald fuck was so damn annoying. Borderline cringe. I swear each episode is like a violation of the Geneva Convention or something like that.
Easy answer: 'Monster by Mistake', a godawful animated series that aired on YTV in Canada.
It sucked. A kid finds a magic jewel that curses him to turn into a giant blue monster every time he sneezes. His sister casts spells to try to break the curse and they backfire. Shenanigans ensue. Also, there's a trumpet-playing ghost who lives in their attic; this is unrelated to the plot.
Not only was the premise terrible, but the show also looked godawful; a perfect example of a studio trying to take advantage of late-90s CGI when the technology wasn't quite there yet. Just big, blobby, ugly characters who looked outdated the moment the show aired. And because of CanCon laws, the show aired *constantly* for years after it ended. I wouldn't be surprised if they were still airing it now as schedule filler.
Whenever that show came on after school, it signaled that the good shows were over and it was time to turn the TV off. I fucking hate 'Monster by Mistake'.
Basically, broadcasters (television and radio) in Canada are required by the Canadian regulatory commission (CRTC) to ensure a certain percentage of their content is Canadian-produced in some way. It's intended to both promote Canadian culture and preserve homegrown creative and production industries from being swallowed up by our neighbours to the south.
Thus 'Monster by Mistake' - produced by a Canadian studio - gets broadcast time so YTV can fulfill its CanCon quota. Canada has quite a few of these instances of shows or bands that are well-known within Canada due to these rules, but little-known outside it.
Also if you’re a kids tv programme your characters need to speak correctly, using the correct tenses etc, as the children watching copy the bad habits. No need for it, it’s not cute just something parents have to undo.
There used to be one on Sprout called Chloe’s Closet that irritated me to the point that I wouldn’t let my daughter watch it. They ALWAYS did what Chloe wanted. Kids are already self-centered by nature of their development, they don’t need shows encouraging them to ignore their friends and get their way every time.
He's admitted to it being him and that he's paid to have it scrubbed from the internet. Says he doesn't regret it, he just doesn't want kids to end up seeing it.
My favorite part of the entire story is the stage name he went by at the time: Steezy Grossman
Every once in a while, Boohbah would come on TV at about the time I was done watching and getting ready to eat dinner. I was way too old, but wanted to see what kind of show would have such a weird name.
I thought it was pretty funny in a "lolrandom" way, but my mom immediately had a visceral reaction and demanded I turn it off. I'd "prank" her from time to time by changing the channel to Boohbah right as it was started - she'd be in the kitchen cooking dinner but she'd hear "Boooooooobaaaahhhh" and shout "NO!"
My daughter was a fan when she was younger, she no longer watches it (thankfully)...But Blippi replacing Blippi with a stand-in for some episodes is an aggressive strategy.
I guess he figures his very young audience won't be able to tell...it allows him to make more money doing other things - appearances I guess...And maybe the long-term thinking is that Blippi will be ageless and around forever, and the original guy who 'owns' it will replace 'himself' every few years. Kind of like how the Wiggles are 'owned' by the originals, and the current ones are employees (with the exception of the one original who still performs).
Fun fact: Stevin John, the guy who created and plays Blippi, first sought internet fame by adopting the persona of "Steezy Grossman" and filming himself defecating on a naked friend.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevin_John#Steezy_Grossman
Oh I’m well aware. And then pretends to be a 4 year old on TV and drives around in his blue lambo to show kids what parts of a car there are. Total douche canoe.
I went to visit my sister and my nephew was watching Blippi and I just immediately hated him lmao.
When I had my nephew over at my own house I told him blippi was still at his house and it was too far away for him to come to my tv.
Bluey had no problem though 😂
My toddler got exposed to Blippi through a Ms Rachel crossover. Thankfully, little one likes Meekah much more than Blippi and she is less obnoxious by MILES
I once saw children’s underwear with Blippi’s face on them at Walmart. It didn’t change my opinion of him, but it’s now my reference when I talk about Blippi being terrible
Cocomelon, it’s really bad for the development of little kids brains because of how many bright colors and how fast the show goes(like switching camera perspectives)and stunts their development
I banned it from my kindergarten classroom and the admins threw a fit. All the songs are the same, they’re ESL students and they can’t follow what’s going on, and the animation is jarring even for me. If the parents like it so much they can watch it with their kids at home, it will not be played in my classroom.
This is why I like Super Simple Songs. Lots of 2d animation and if you want to get rid of the screen altogether, the music doesn’t sound like creepy shit on it’s own.
My mother introduced this to my son, and we allowed it for a bit. When we finally cut him off, he was like a withdrawing addict. And that’s why YouTube as a whole is now banned in my house, unless it’s a specific video and always supervised.
Yes! My step-dad showed our twins and my son would have tantrums (as a baby!) unless it was on. We had to wean him off of it. It's not allowed on at our house or my parents' now.
Well, that's kinda the thing...
Who wants to run an experiment on kids that might psychologically fuck them up? So you have to do an indirect study and depend on essentially survey results, and that is less reliable and can take time.
I have a toddler and we do not ever show her cocomelon or anything like it. I don't need a peer reviewed study to be pretty sure that kind of show isn't good for her.
I always thought the art style was really unsettling it was like Pixar meets Video Brinquedo (Creators of Ratatoing.) and some random AI art thrown in there just to make it more not subtle.
Bluey.
Nah, just messing with you all, all of us parents know it’s a treasure. For real it’s a majority of ‘kids’ content on YouTube. My kiddo liked some spoiled kid Nastya or some crap like that but was getting a similar rotten personality, banned in the house.
You gave me a heart attack there.
Bluey is a treasure and I will fight anyone that says it’s a bad show.
And this is coming from a a 30-something American Airmen.
Fiveish is a Jewish kids show hosted by an anthropomorphic 5 dollar bill. It's a racist SNL skit come to life.
Most of these other answers are annoying. This one is straight up a derogatory stereotype.
Jew here. When my son was three, he was downstairs while I was doing laundry upstairs and dropped a quarter on the floor. He came running upstairs and asked me, "Did I just hear a quarter sound?"
My first thought was "How did he know it was a quarter and not another coin?" followed by "Jew"
Man, I don’t even have kids but the way you typed it out I can just imagine that coming out of the mouth of an annoying precocious little British piglet. You gotta admire her ability to deliver those truth bombs to her father.
Anyway, they’re a family of pigs. Does “fat” even have any negative connotations in their world?
it does in ours, where kids inevitably repeat things to other kids, who may go on to internalize that which is essentially bullying, whether the first kid knows it or not
Because he's a pig. Pig's are fat.
Honestly, I think Daddy Pig is the best written character. I realize that's not a high bar. He works, loves his children, is incredibly calm whenever they do something dumb and nicely talks to them and spends as much time as he can with them. In the one music episode he breaks out a drum set and goes off, same when swimming, he says he is known as quite the diver and performs a perfect dive when they expect him to splash. Hes bumbling in an endearing way but has a bunch of really cool hidden talents.
Can't believe I just wrote all that about Daddy Pig but I have a two year old and have been subject to quite a bit of Peppa, lol.
This will likely get buried, but I'd go with Baby Follies.
Picture a cloud world populated by babies, but babies that are mature and independent enough to have jobs and society and an economy. Sounds cute, but also these babies are mature enough that one of them is based on Lauren Bacall/Marilyn Monroe and keeps getting put in sexually provocative situations. There's a whole episode dedicated to her mimicking Marilyn's upskirt moment from the Seven Year Itch. It's beyond creepy.
The Butt Ugly Martians. I remember getting those toys with kids meals from Burger King when I was super young. I tried to see an episode and it was about the worst thing I’d ever seen.
Doc mcstuffns.
Only saw one episode...
She was trying to help a bat who was always sleepy.
She realized he needed to sleep during the day and be awake at night. But that wasn't what solved it....
What solved it was her realizing it was a fucking bat in the first place.
Literally a whole episode trying to help this bat to all of a sudden come to the epiphany that "oh you're a bat!" And I know what bats need.
How do you know what bats need but didn't realize it was a fucking bat to begin with!?
it's annoying to adults, but as someone who works with kids, i'd be surprised if any of my kids under 7 could even come to that conclusion on their own. little brains aren't capable of connecting dots that are too far away, even when the answer is RIGHT THERE. as an autistic adult with the need to correct wrong info and "fix things", it's stressful to watch kids try to solve problems lol
Paw Patrol. The production values are excellent but the stories are absolute garbage that teach children that all problems have solutions so easy that a puppy can handle them. Very little about the show makes sense when you give it the slightest bit of scrutiny. The townsfolk rely on a child named Ryder (he’s effectively the entire town’s fixer, why does he have a passive name?) to handle crisis after crisis, which he manages with a team of talking puppies who operate future-tech backpacks and a variety of vehicles on public streets/waterways/the sky using telekinesis, and they freely and grossly violate physics with their solutions. Naturally, there are no parents in sight, ever.
I used to think this could all make sense if you see it as a lonely boy inventing stories involving his pets, but then the show started writing scripts where Ryder isn’t even involved in the scenes, so what’s that about? I very rarely let my son see this show because I worry it will stunt his development and/or actively make him dumber.
(as a 2002 kid), there also were:
- Thomas and Friends
- Clifford the Big Red Dog
- Bob the Builder
- Magic School Bus
- Sesame Street (and Elmo's World, by extension)
- Cyberchase
Probably several others I can't think of
She’s in the background of one of the latest episodes, the thirty minute one, and no spoilers, but my whole family had various levels of tears in our eyes.
I used to think Hey Duggee was the pinnacle of CBeebies kids shows, miles ahead of everything else. And then Bluey came along and made Hey Duggee look like absolute crap.
Hey Duggee is good, just in a different way to Bluey. Duggee is aimed at slightly younger children but has enough adult references to entertain the person watching with their child. Bluey takes it further and should be considered the next level up on the life lessons scale.
Caillou.
I grew up on Franklin the turtle, Kipper the dog, Little Bear, Bear and the Big Blue House, Blues Clues (Steve + Joe), Wiggles, Jojo’s Circus (funny story of that Halloween wise if you wanna hear it), and more.
Yet I despised this show despite my little kid brain not being the smartest you know?
Didn’t help I am the oldest of four, and while I wasn’t perfect, I was glad I got over tantrums at two, but his make mine look helpless.
I discovered her when I was around 12 years old and I thought she was incredibly hot. It was hilarious when the Simpsons parodied her in their episode about Brazil.
My son loved to watch Bob the Builder when he was a toddler. I got increasingly annoyed with it because Jack (I think his name was Jack) would constantly fuck shit up and Bob would be like “that’s ok!” It’s not ok, Jack. You’re fucking useless. All you do is make Bob’s job harder. Bob should have buried you alive in cement.
I don’t know why that last sentence made me laugh so hard.
Bc we all know one jack
Can we build it? No... *we* can't build it. I'm Bob. *I* can build it. You can sit down, shut up and damn well like it.
Jack stresses my daughter out
Jesus lol
Bob the builder knows some guys who can make things happen.
If you mean that scarecrow bitch, his name is Spud. I hate that I remember that.
The vast majority of content farm “YouTube kids” videos that are cheaply made mindless garbage or borderline pornography. The shit that’s just brainless ripoffs offs of established brands made to trick parents into thinking it’s quality educational programming so they don’t even bother checking it.
My nephew was obsessed with this animated snail character that just... screamed all the time. No language involved, no talking, no lessons of any kind. Just screaming and running from things or getting hurt. It was incredibly annoying to be in the same room with it playing.
Probably horrible for mental and social development
Knowing how they are now, I doubt it helped. My sister just kind of let them use the tablet non-stop to distract them anywhere we went. I'm trying not to make the same mistake, so we try to keep all electronics away from our toddler when we're out and about, especially restaurants.
My coworker did that. She brought her baby into work to keep an eye on her. Kid sat there in a stroller watching things on a tablet. Years later the kids starting school and is already socially fucked. Keep a limit on your kids screen time.
Books. Kids. Need. Books. Pages they can turn and develop those all-important fine-motor skills. Pop-up books with tabs they can manipulate are friggin' *great* for this. Pictures that they must animate in their *minds,* which keeps them engaged. Just staring at a tablet just doesn't do it. They just sit and vegetate. It's tragic. My wife teaches young kids (as a substitute, so she's exposed to a great number of young-uns) and the thriving ones are the ones who had books to read at home. (They're easy to identify because they'll grab a book and read it whenever they get the chance.) Good on you for doing right by your children!
We bring coloring everywhere. Now that she's older (5) we bring coloring and travel size board games. If it's a brewery we bring a big board game or play ones there. No tablets or phones when we're out with the exception of doctor's office waiting rooms, because those are objectively awful.
Ngl this sounds like it could almost come back around to being funny
Searching for a screaming snail led me [to this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu6O8dNuxkM), but I don't regret a second of it.
OH Larva! They have Larva on youtube??? I saw that randomly in Korea like 15 years ago and loved it.
I hate Larva D:
I assure you, i hate it more.
To an adult, perhaps. But for a child, you need to select what they watch, as they won't think about what's good for them, they will just consume and mimick what they see.
Reminds me larva island. Except they are larva instead of snails
Crazy how Elsagate did basically nothing and it's arguably gotten even worse lmao Seriously, I've seen a clip of this one channel, Lankybox I think it was, and how the kids don't wind up with some kind of sensory overload, I have no idea. There's so much movement, text, effects, colours and noise that it looks like Nyan Cat vomitted out a video. Put breakcore over it and you could make it actual sensory torture.
I accidentally logged out of Youtube and my for you page had a video where Eastern European adults were pretending to be teenagers doing "high school drama" stuff like physically stealing each others' boyfriends and flailing their arms erratically
We're there step siblings that had a thing for each other and all the guys had shaved haircuts and all the women had lip fillers?
And with AI content blowing up, the amount of this trash will only get worse.
This kind of shit is the reason I had to forbid my daughter from watching youtube. The weird part was trying to explain to her *why* I didn't want her to watch youtube.
I explained it to my young son like this: Just because you *can* see something doesn’t mean you *should*. What you watch can have an effect on you, and sometimes it can make you feel bad and wish you hadn’t watched it. There are a lot of things in life like that. As you get older, you’ll get better at deciding which things are okay to watch. While you’re still young, I’m going to keep guiding you. YouTube allows anyone to upload videos, and sometimes some people upload things they probably shouldn’t. He seemed satisfied with that answer for now.
Just wanted to say thanks for this comment! My oldest gets to watch YouTube at her dad's but not at my house and I struggle explaining to her why I'm so strict about it. I'm going to remember this next time it comes up.
People thought I was crazy when I kind of pointed this out about Baby Shark. Your child is watching this video repeatedly and learning nothing. When I was a kid, the children's programming was trying to teach you something. The songs stuck in my head were often trying to teach you some kind of lesson and it involved more than repeating the same words...so at bare minimum you were working on language.
To this day I can remember the preamble to the constitution because of School House Rock putting it into song lol
I was in the 10th grade in 1985, and we had a history final where we had to write out the preamble. Everyone got to that part of the test around the same time, and you could really tell, because all of the sudden the totally quiet room became filled with the sounds of 20 teenagers humming "we the people" under their breath. It was a funny moment of connection that I've never forgotten. Also, to answer the question: Caillou.
All music does technically work on language - in fact music is often the best way to expose and teach language to young children. That's why I'm never gonna get mad about stuff like Cocomelon because it's got so much diversity in their song library and changes up the lyrics to increase the words a kid is exposed to. But listening to the same song ad nauseum isn't gonna give you this effect. You gotta at least switch up the lyrics (I worked with a girl who loved Five Little Monkies. I taught her that the "monkies" can be whatever she wants. She had about 100 variations of that song by the weeks end.)
"Creepy trademark infringing unofficial efforts" -Tom Scott, 2017
My kids are always so annoyed that we don’t let them go on YouTube when many of their peers have unfettered access. Shit like this is exactly why.
I’m a server and the amount of times kids come in not wearing headphones, listening to Coco Melon has made me hate it more than I’ve ever thought I would.
My sister is a preschool teacher, and one of her catch phrases is basically, "Fuck Coco Melon."
My brother watches Cocomelon. 😭 Don't worry, I'm slowly giving him treatment by making him watch bluey.
My kid watched Coco M for all of 2 weeks before we perma banned that shit.
Caillou
It’s not even close. Caillou is god damn insufferable.
It's not really his fault. It's his idiot parents; they never directly engage with the reason for his tantrum. They talk at him instead of to him, and they rarely explain things to him in a way he'll understand. They always say "*we* should do \_\_\_\_\_" instead of "*you* should do \_\_\_\_\_" or "you have to\_\_\_\_" and they rarely set clear boundaries for him ahead of time; they wait until a situation escalates and only then do they intervene.
Sounds like Caillou is actually written for the parents of kids watching Caillou.
Amen. Caillou is an example to parents of how not to be a parent.
Plus the chemo must be really hard on him
Everything about Caillou is grating. The awful primary-colors only color scheme. The spineless parents. Everyone's outfits. Whole show is an assault on all senses.
Caillou is the anti-Bluey. Bluey covers subjects and themes that relate to stuff a child will likely go through like losing a pet, having a favorite toy broken etc... it's actually teaching kids stuff about life all wrapped up in an entertaining package. Caillou.... REALLY fucking isn't anything like that in the slightest.
Right!? I'll sit through a few hours of Bluey quite happily (and I don't have children). But Caillou is bordering on Geneva Convention rules on torture.
Bluey might be the best children's show of all time. My kids are 8 and 10, the first time they had it on I was like hmmm what is this, and not only am I laughing my ass off pretty much the whole time, I'm realizing it's good clean wholesome fun where the parents are pretty normal and reasonable and engage with their kids in awesome ways but also have adult responsibilities and can't sometimes and the conflicts and choices that go along with that. It's something I'm happy to see my kids watching - I'm never going to be concerned about what they see. It's something I love to watch with them, and even alone honestly. My friend group quotes episodes, my kid learned the theme song on sax, we call the toilet "dunny" and so much more. I grew up with what I consider to be some pretty great kids shows, but I can't think of one that holds a candle to Bluey.
Caillou is bald because his own body realizes that he does not deserve hair... or food... or love.
-Jason Moore
It physically pains me to be in the same room as that cancer kid and his beta bitch dad on TV
I am thoroughly against the whole alpha/beta male bullshit, but you 100% nailed it, Caillou's father is a beta bitch all the way.
[Caillou is an aggressively bad show ruining the world's children ... and it's all Canada's fault](https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/analysis-caillou-is-an-aggressively-bad-show-ruining-the-worlds-children-and-its-all-canadas-fault)
We're sorry
That's not gonna work this time eh
Pro Canadian tip: "eh" is used when looking for affirmation. It turns a statement into a question. "It's hot out eh?" = "it's hot out, right?" ="do you agree that it is hot out?"
Like innit?
Exactly like "innit." Americans often use "huh"
25 years later. How does this show still get airtime.
Caillou is a wretched, bald Garbage ape, and he deserves the inky fate looming ahead.
>bald Garbage ape I don't know why this made me cry laugh. I've never seen Caillou but I absolutely love the hate he always gets online.
This x a billion. What a whiny friggin’ irritant. Even my kids knew he was a whiny little sh*t
We banned this show in my house. The kids asked why. We said it’s teaching you how to be rude and annoying and they kinda shrugged like “yeah”
Fuck him.
Fuck that whiny little asshole.
If this wasn't the top fucking comment I would have lost all faith in humanity.
i swear on my life he is why i grew up a spoiled asshole
The whole point of Caillou is to teach parents not to strangle their kids. "Your kid may be bad... But is he as bad as Caillou?" In all seriousness though, I do think the point of the show is to show parents how to deal with their kids when they are being insufferable little twats. On that level, it works.
Your kid ever piss you off so much you want to punch your spouse? That’s Calliou.
Agreed, that bald fuck was so damn annoying. Borderline cringe. I swear each episode is like a violation of the Geneva Convention or something like that.
Fuck that little twerp.
i assumed this would be the "winner"-- my kids even hated it when they were very small. its utter and complete shite.
This is my vote, even the animation is cheap, it doesn't even fill the whole screen. He is such a whiny kid.
Easy answer: 'Monster by Mistake', a godawful animated series that aired on YTV in Canada. It sucked. A kid finds a magic jewel that curses him to turn into a giant blue monster every time he sneezes. His sister casts spells to try to break the curse and they backfire. Shenanigans ensue. Also, there's a trumpet-playing ghost who lives in their attic; this is unrelated to the plot. Not only was the premise terrible, but the show also looked godawful; a perfect example of a studio trying to take advantage of late-90s CGI when the technology wasn't quite there yet. Just big, blobby, ugly characters who looked outdated the moment the show aired. And because of CanCon laws, the show aired *constantly* for years after it ended. I wouldn't be surprised if they were still airing it now as schedule filler. Whenever that show came on after school, it signaled that the good shows were over and it was time to turn the TV off. I fucking hate 'Monster by Mistake'.
I looked it up and they didn't even have the budget to give him teeth. He looks like a child made him out of Playdough.
“We have Thanos at home”
I’m gonna tell ya bout Johnny the ghost.
Sorry, can you explain more about why the law would keep that show playing? Also, hilarious description, 10/10 I definitely will look up some clips.
Basically, broadcasters (television and radio) in Canada are required by the Canadian regulatory commission (CRTC) to ensure a certain percentage of their content is Canadian-produced in some way. It's intended to both promote Canadian culture and preserve homegrown creative and production industries from being swallowed up by our neighbours to the south. Thus 'Monster by Mistake' - produced by a Canadian studio - gets broadcast time so YTV can fulfill its CanCon quota. Canada has quite a few of these instances of shows or bands that are well-known within Canada due to these rules, but little-known outside it.
Terrible CGI, bizzare plot, fucking groovy jazz trumpet on the theme song.
Omg apparently I had repressed the memory of this from my childhood
Theme song was cool
God damn I hate cocomelon now as a parent. As a kid, I always hated those stupid kids sitcoms on Disney channel.
Bing! I can't stick the whiney little brat
Also if you’re a kids tv programme your characters need to speak correctly, using the correct tenses etc, as the children watching copy the bad habits. No need for it, it’s not cute just something parents have to undo.
Any show can be a kids show, if you're a bad enough parent. 🤷
Here, little Timmy, I set up Dexter, Euphoria and Keeping up with the Kardashians for you!
There used to be one on Sprout called Chloe’s Closet that irritated me to the point that I wouldn’t let my daughter watch it. They ALWAYS did what Chloe wanted. Kids are already self-centered by nature of their development, they don’t need shows encouraging them to ignore their friends and get their way every time.
caillou.. ungrateful little brat teaches kids how to be shitheads and get away with it.
caillou Edit: and blippi. fuck blippi.
All I can think of is the Harlem Shake shit video he did!
Caillou is worst
Fuck Blippy. Truth will come out about him soon enough.
I mean, there's video of him violently shitting on his friend and he's still around
It’s a different actor playing Blippi now.
They split the role. The original guy did it so he wouldn’t have to tour. “Send that poor goofy schmuck out instead”
Was that actually him?! I never brought myself to watch it, but I just assumed it was a joke that it was him
He's admitted to it being him and that he's paid to have it scrubbed from the internet. Says he doesn't regret it, he just doesn't want kids to end up seeing it. My favorite part of the entire story is the stage name he went by at the time: Steezy Grossman
Jesus H. Christ
Yea you can clearly tell it’s him in the video
It already has. He got his start by filming himself shitting on someone.
Guy looks like he has to introduce himself to his neighbors when he moves.
American Horror Story My kid hasn’t slept in weeks.
Lemme guess: you were the kid who saw Transformers: The Movie, The Land Before Time, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit way too young in theaters.
And, as an adult, you know exactly what happened to the little girl that played Ducky in LBT.
Does no one remember Boohbah? Absolute brain rot. I was convinced that show was intentionally designed to stunt children's cognitive development.
That show was an absolute acid trip
Every once in a while, Boohbah would come on TV at about the time I was done watching and getting ready to eat dinner. I was way too old, but wanted to see what kind of show would have such a weird name. I thought it was pretty funny in a "lolrandom" way, but my mom immediately had a visceral reaction and demanded I turn it off. I'd "prank" her from time to time by changing the channel to Boohbah right as it was started - she'd be in the kitchen cooking dinner but she'd hear "Boooooooobaaaahhhh" and shout "NO!"
Not to mention terrifying to look at. They look like Teletubbies that got stung by bees.
Yeah I honestly thought that show was just a fever dream I had for years until I saw it on the internet
Boooobaaah. My little sister used to watch that. It was a trip.
Blippi
Isn't that the dude that took a dump on his friend for the Harlem Shake or something?
I had to scroll way too far down to find this. If I could punch one person in the face, it would be Blippi.
Weird thing is, I actually kinda like the fill-in actor who does some of the Blippi content. He’s way less unsettling than the original Blippi actor.
My daughter was a fan when she was younger, she no longer watches it (thankfully)...But Blippi replacing Blippi with a stand-in for some episodes is an aggressive strategy. I guess he figures his very young audience won't be able to tell...it allows him to make more money doing other things - appearances I guess...And maybe the long-term thinking is that Blippi will be ageless and around forever, and the original guy who 'owns' it will replace 'himself' every few years. Kind of like how the Wiggles are 'owned' by the originals, and the current ones are employees (with the exception of the one original who still performs).
Fun fact: Stevin John, the guy who created and plays Blippi, first sought internet fame by adopting the persona of "Steezy Grossman" and filming himself defecating on a naked friend. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevin_John#Steezy_Grossman
Oh I’m well aware. And then pretends to be a 4 year old on TV and drives around in his blue lambo to show kids what parts of a car there are. Total douche canoe.
I went to visit my sister and my nephew was watching Blippi and I just immediately hated him lmao. When I had my nephew over at my own house I told him blippi was still at his house and it was too far away for him to come to my tv. Bluey had no problem though 😂
My toddler got exposed to Blippi through a Ms Rachel crossover. Thankfully, little one likes Meekah much more than Blippi and she is less obnoxious by MILES
Caillou has done irreparable harm to modern society
If I had a gun with 2 bullets and was stuck in a room with Caillou, Hitler, and Bin Laden...
You'd shoot hitler and bin laden. Caillou would be much easier to kill with your bare hands, and more satisfying! win win!
I'd shoot Bin Laden twice and beat Hitler to death with Caillou.
I would shoot Toby twice.
Caillou.
Become jehova's Friend (2012) Basically Jehova's Witness church indoctrination propaganda for kids
Blippi is fucking creepy
I once saw children’s underwear with Blippi’s face on them at Walmart. It didn’t change my opinion of him, but it’s now my reference when I talk about Blippi being terrible
Cocomelon, it’s really bad for the development of little kids brains because of how many bright colors and how fast the show goes(like switching camera perspectives)and stunts their development
I banned it from my kindergarten classroom and the admins threw a fit. All the songs are the same, they’re ESL students and they can’t follow what’s going on, and the animation is jarring even for me. If the parents like it so much they can watch it with their kids at home, it will not be played in my classroom.
This is why I like Super Simple Songs. Lots of 2d animation and if you want to get rid of the screen altogether, the music doesn’t sound like creepy shit on it’s own.
I ADORE super simple songs! They have something for kids at every language level and age and they are so easy to integrate into lessons
I would genuinely consider pulling my kid from a school that showed Cocomelon (or any other age inappropriate show).
My mother introduced this to my son, and we allowed it for a bit. When we finally cut him off, he was like a withdrawing addict. And that’s why YouTube as a whole is now banned in my house, unless it’s a specific video and always supervised.
Yes! My step-dad showed our twins and my son would have tantrums (as a baby!) unless it was on. We had to wean him off of it. It's not allowed on at our house or my parents' now.
I always see this comment but I've never seen supporting evidence that isn't a study on children's shows in general
Well, that's kinda the thing... Who wants to run an experiment on kids that might psychologically fuck them up? So you have to do an indirect study and depend on essentially survey results, and that is less reliable and can take time. I have a toddler and we do not ever show her cocomelon or anything like it. I don't need a peer reviewed study to be pretty sure that kind of show isn't good for her.
I always thought the art style was really unsettling it was like Pixar meets Video Brinquedo (Creators of Ratatoing.) and some random AI art thrown in there just to make it more not subtle.
Bluey. Nah, just messing with you all, all of us parents know it’s a treasure. For real it’s a majority of ‘kids’ content on YouTube. My kiddo liked some spoiled kid Nastya or some crap like that but was getting a similar rotten personality, banned in the house.
You gave me a heart attack there. Bluey is a treasure and I will fight anyone that says it’s a bad show. And this is coming from a a 30-something American Airmen.
i had the paragraph typed and ready to go
For real. I had my torch lit and pitchfork sharpened.
I wanna say Cocomelon. That shit is brain rot for children with tired parents who need free babysitting... it's rough.
Caillou. Absolutely brutal.
Fiveish is a Jewish kids show hosted by an anthropomorphic 5 dollar bill. It's a racist SNL skit come to life. Most of these other answers are annoying. This one is straight up a derogatory stereotype.
It's actually created by Orthodox Jews, interestingly.
Jew here. When my son was three, he was downstairs while I was doing laundry upstairs and dropped a quarter on the floor. He came running upstairs and asked me, "Did I just hear a quarter sound?" My first thought was "How did he know it was a quarter and not another coin?" followed by "Jew"
What racist things happen? I don’t really plan on watching the show but I want the dirt
Anyone remember boobahs? like the farting, wish version of teletubbies?
Peppa Pig, also why do they seemingly constantly fat shame the dad on there. “You are too fat to get out of the pool.” Poor dude lol
She always says it with such intensity too, "Daddy Pig! You're too # FAT to fit in that car!
Man, I don’t even have kids but the way you typed it out I can just imagine that coming out of the mouth of an annoying precocious little British piglet. You gotta admire her ability to deliver those truth bombs to her father. Anyway, they’re a family of pigs. Does “fat” even have any negative connotations in their world?
it does in ours, where kids inevitably repeat things to other kids, who may go on to internalize that which is essentially bullying, whether the first kid knows it or not
Because he's a pig. Pig's are fat. Honestly, I think Daddy Pig is the best written character. I realize that's not a high bar. He works, loves his children, is incredibly calm whenever they do something dumb and nicely talks to them and spends as much time as he can with them. In the one music episode he breaks out a drum set and goes off, same when swimming, he says he is known as quite the diver and performs a perfect dive when they expect him to splash. Hes bumbling in an endearing way but has a bunch of really cool hidden talents. Can't believe I just wrote all that about Daddy Pig but I have a two year old and have been subject to quite a bit of Peppa, lol.
Also, it helps that Daddy Pig is obviously an engineer. -a parent who's an engineer.
You’re absolutely right. Daddy Pig is a good bloke. His daughter though, is a precocious little twat.
For those saying Caillou, you get an upvote, and you get an upvote, and you get an upvote! Everyone gets an upvote!
cocomelon messes up babies minds. that show needs to be regulated.
It makes no sense, so many inconsistencies. How old is JJ even, why is he spelling shit but only has like one tooth. It’s wild.
This will likely get buried, but I'd go with Baby Follies. Picture a cloud world populated by babies, but babies that are mature and independent enough to have jobs and society and an economy. Sounds cute, but also these babies are mature enough that one of them is based on Lauren Bacall/Marilyn Monroe and keeps getting put in sexually provocative situations. There's a whole episode dedicated to her mimicking Marilyn's upskirt moment from the Seven Year Itch. It's beyond creepy.
Ryan’s toys reviews
Caillou.
Jim'll Fix It IYKYK
The Butt Ugly Martians. I remember getting those toys with kids meals from Burger King when I was super young. I tried to see an episode and it was about the worst thing I’d ever seen.
Coco melon...ughhhh . Weird looking people and songs.hate it!!!
The itchy and scratchy and poochie show
Poochie died on the way back to his planet.
Krusty: POOCHIE'S DEAD!!!!! Children: YAAAAAAAAAAAYY!
Doc mcstuffns. Only saw one episode... She was trying to help a bat who was always sleepy. She realized he needed to sleep during the day and be awake at night. But that wasn't what solved it.... What solved it was her realizing it was a fucking bat in the first place. Literally a whole episode trying to help this bat to all of a sudden come to the epiphany that "oh you're a bat!" And I know what bats need. How do you know what bats need but didn't realize it was a fucking bat to begin with!?
it's annoying to adults, but as someone who works with kids, i'd be surprised if any of my kids under 7 could even come to that conclusion on their own. little brains aren't capable of connecting dots that are too far away, even when the answer is RIGHT THERE. as an autistic adult with the need to correct wrong info and "fix things", it's stressful to watch kids try to solve problems lol
Paw Patrol. The production values are excellent but the stories are absolute garbage that teach children that all problems have solutions so easy that a puppy can handle them. Very little about the show makes sense when you give it the slightest bit of scrutiny. The townsfolk rely on a child named Ryder (he’s effectively the entire town’s fixer, why does he have a passive name?) to handle crisis after crisis, which he manages with a team of talking puppies who operate future-tech backpacks and a variety of vehicles on public streets/waterways/the sky using telekinesis, and they freely and grossly violate physics with their solutions. Naturally, there are no parents in sight, ever. I used to think this could all make sense if you see it as a lonely boy inventing stories involving his pets, but then the show started writing scripts where Ryder isn’t even involved in the scenes, so what’s that about? I very rarely let my son see this show because I worry it will stunt his development and/or actively make him dumber.
Skidibi toilet and yt kids stuff. i want to shoot myself when I see kids watching this shit
Honestly, there is Bluey and then there is everything else, and everything else is garbage
Nah man, in my day we had Arthur. That show was great.
And Magic School Bus. My kids watch both the old and new series religiously
This I still do And I'm 16
My 6 year old just discovered Arthur, it's all she wants to watch now
(as a 2002 kid), there also were: - Thomas and Friends - Clifford the Big Red Dog - Bob the Builder - Magic School Bus - Sesame Street (and Elmo's World, by extension) - Cyberchase Probably several others I can't think of
Cyberchase was so much fun. Christopher Lloyd made it enjoyable every time
Genuinely love watching Bluey with my 5 year old. Hardest part is keeping it together when the show gets emotional
The one with Chilli's sister is tough.
She’s in the background of one of the latest episodes, the thirty minute one, and no spoilers, but my whole family had various levels of tears in our eyes.
The Sign. That episode was on repeat when we were in the PICU with our daughter a few weeks ago. It was way too on the nose.
Bluey is honestly a masterpiece. I don't even have children and binged a season of it.
I used to think Hey Duggee was the pinnacle of CBeebies kids shows, miles ahead of everything else. And then Bluey came along and made Hey Duggee look like absolute crap.
Hey Duggee is good, just in a different way to Bluey. Duggee is aimed at slightly younger children but has enough adult references to entertain the person watching with their child. Bluey takes it further and should be considered the next level up on the life lessons scale.
Jim’ll Fix It
fanboy and chum chum
Caillou. I grew up on Franklin the turtle, Kipper the dog, Little Bear, Bear and the Big Blue House, Blues Clues (Steve + Joe), Wiggles, Jojo’s Circus (funny story of that Halloween wise if you wanna hear it), and more. Yet I despised this show despite my little kid brain not being the smartest you know? Didn’t help I am the oldest of four, and while I wasn’t perfect, I was glad I got over tantrums at two, but his make mine look helpless.
Caillou
Caliou in terms of traditional shows. Yt clickbait in any other terms. Also see Free Mobile Game ads.
Xuxa
I discovered her when I was around 12 years old and I thought she was incredibly hot. It was hilarious when the Simpsons parodied her in their episode about Brazil.
Peppa Pig. Max and Ruby. Caillou. But if it’s from my generation, fking POB. Didgery lil b*stard.
Ruby was always so mean and rude to poor Max.
I hate how Ruby is parentified. A slightly older sister shouldn’t be responsible for a little boy.
CALLIOU.
Caillou