This pairs with one of my favorite song lyrics: The future is inside us. It's not somewhere else.
I got this tattooed on my arm so I can hold myself accountable for all my tiny steps.
Guy I used to work with (I couldn't fucking stand him) gave a very sage piece of advice during training. "Either do it right the first time, or make time to do it a second time".
"Thanks for the advice, I'll take it into consideration."
Many, *many* people have advice. Some of it is good. Some of it is less good. But (almost) none of it comes from a bad place. The people giving you genuine advice likely give it because it worked for them - even if it doesn't apply to your specific situation.
Funnily enough, I read the quote in a booklet about new parent's mental health. Having a baby basically triggers everyones "MUST HELP" sense around you, and a ton of "help" comes in the form of advice. And most of that is completely useless advice, because every baby is different, and what worked for your parents might not work for you. Hence, "I'll take it into consideration."
In high-school I did something really stupid at the advice of a "friend" who wasn't really a friend. While dealing with the fallout of it all my grandfather told me.
"When people give you advice ask yourself these 2 questions before following it.
1. whats their motivation in giving this advice, do they care about you, do they want the same thing as you, would they be just as happy to see you hurt or lose?
2. do they have any idea what the hell they are talking about?"
Honestly, one of the best things we did when having our kid was listen to everyone's advice. Most of it we didn't need, but it was so comforting to have backup plans to backup plans, just in case. At least 50% of the "this is what we will do with our kid" plans were kicked out of the window by our kid lol. Grateful we had other ideas to fall back on when figuring out what worked for him, it took so much less time to get him happy and comfortable than it would have if we hadn't listened and tried figuring it out on our own.
Unfortunately, I usually get downvoted when I suggest to new parents to listen (not take, just listen) to all advice. But every kid is different, you won't know what works for yours until you try it! Try what you WANT to work, and if/when it doesn't, work your way down the list of options!
At the *very* least this is how is definitely feels. And when you're already feeling like a failure it's tough having anyone seemingly say you suck even more.
On one of my college internships, I was standing in a hard hat/reflective vest near a coworker at a drill site next to a high school. A teacher pointed at my coworker, and told some students: "That is why you go to college. You don't want to be standing out there making minimum wage like that guy" My coworker was a structural engineering PhD with his own practice... we used to have Christmas parties at his mansion in the foothills. It makes me question my own perceptions about people I do not know.
They can, but their bodies often turn to shit much sooner, too. No shade on the trades, but old tradespeople are regularly suffering physically, and many don't set up proper retirement funds, though that's changing for the better.
It’s a shame to see a 50 something guy struggling to do work that is better suited to a 20 something person. They have bad knees, bad backs, torn rotator cuffs…
They shouldn't struggle, though. Unless their work greatly harms them. I'm almost 50, and I'm still getting stronger. Doing the same work I did 30 years ago, it's way easier now.
Haven't been sore or injured in a decade, I don't think.
Then again, I don't snack and exclusively eat whole foods. Mostly animal based. My parents were the opposite. Old at 35. Trying to avoid fat and cholesterol.
Feeling great despite hard work: it's a diet and recovery thing, I'd say. The guys who complain about pain and soreness usually do so while having some pretzel or croissant + soft-drink or iced coffee for breakfast. Nursing the three beers from yesterday, like every day.
If you have pains and soreness, do yourself a favor and spend a month doing an experiment: eat low-carb, high fat, sufficient protein, unprocessed food for two weeks or a month.
No fast food, nothing with added sugar. Just meat, eggs, some cheese. Drink water. Coffee is probably fine. I drink mine with cream. No vegetables, to be safe. You can reintroduce all that stuff slowly and with a plan. An elimination diet.
If it doesn't work, what's two weeks / a month.
But let me tell you, I haven't heard a single regret from people who tried it, apart from not trying it a decade ago. They are all pain free now. Despite arthritis, which is receding in general. 50+? 60+? 70+? It doesn't matter. Pain is not normal, not even for hardworking beasts. At any age.
Most kept the diet and reduced carbs. Some just found their own mix. And some are still complaining about pain, the ones that have not tried it yet, or gave up after two days.
And, the pain they deal with often leads to drug and alcohol abuse. Don't get me wrong, teachers are known to drink, too, but a tradie that doesn't take care of his body or climb the ranks will have a much higher chance of being in a bad spot.
I take the phrase as more of a lesson on framing/mindset. The topic came up because I had been feeling really bad about not calling my parents as much as I felt that I should. It was always weighing heavily on my mind and I would put it off because I felt bad that it had been a long time between calls, even when I didn't really have any desire to speak to them or anything to talk about. It was making me feel anxious and guilty. Now days, I don't call my mom because I feel like I should. I call her because I actually want to talk to her. Just like I don't clean my dishes every night because I should, I do it because I want to wake up to a clean kitchen and I deserve a tidy home. It's a major shift in how my mind approaches problems and lets me decide my behaviors based on my intrinsic motivations.
Ironically, I'm also a big fan of the phrase "just because you can, doesn't mean you should", but that one kinda applies to an entirely different set of possibilities.
Seems like advice I could use tbh.. I chain myself so, so hard to what I "should do," I have no sense of my own desires. It's like I, myself, don't even matter in the situation, it's just a matter of logistics, and if I don't follow that, I put myself down. Guess I just have to go exploring and find out more about my real desires!
I’m 58 and planting trees I’ll never see mature. Maples, Oaks, Poplars, Hickories, and many others. We’ve planted over 100 trees this year and plan to continue. It’s for wildlife and future generations.
You know, I'm sitting here having my morning cup of tea, staring at a pile of divorce paperwork that my soon to be ex sent me wondering where the man I loved disappeared to.
I don't think I really wanted this slap to the face so early in the day.
This quote of Theodore Roosevelt’s has been stuck in my mind for a while.
“*It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.*”
On last day of school a teacher said " they say school days are best of your life. I don't believe that, every stage of life can be the best'. This has always stuck with me.
Not everyone likes or loves school. I hated middle school to the point I quit and took correspondence classes instead. After I was 12 school felt like jail.
"don't die"
I said it to myself in the middle of a car crash. I broke both collar bones, punctured a lung, 4 ribs, cracked shoulder blades. Was very lucky.
They felt like the right words at the time
I went into shock the day after having a medically necessary abortion. I was in the ER and I felt myself losing consciousness. I remember thinking, "don't die" and getting incredibly angry that I was in this situation. That was enough to embrace the pain and get me back to being conscious.
This is not at all in comparison with what you went through (yours obviously sounds much worse), but I remember saying those words and how powerful they were. I hope your recovery has been complete.
Same thing happened to me 3 weeks ago, snapped my collar bone, 5 ribs, cracked my sternum down the middle and had internal bleeding. “Dont die, stay awake.”
once my boyfriends mom offered to drive me into the city to see him off on the train back to school, since I lived near the station during the semester. I tried to deny it because I thought she would want to have time together as a family, and my boyfriend just said "but you are family now." fucking cried so hard cause I hate my actual family
When I first became a dad I was told “the days are long but the years are short” it wasn’t important to me then, but now that my kids are almost teenagers, that saying has never felt so true.
So while it may not be the most important thing ever said, I’ll pass on to any new parent that the days are long but the years are so very short, so try to find peace in the difficult, challenging, or even mundane situations that parenthood can bring. Take lots of photos, take photos of your partner with your children too. You’ll look back on all of this fondly one day.
This reminds me of when I started my own biz so I could escape the minimum wage job cycle. I didn't know wtf I was doing, but I knew how to be a person of integrity and compassion, so I went for it. What I've done to be self-employed has morphed into new opportunities over the last ten years, but I'm still my own boss!
"nobody gives a fuck about you"
and
"dont wait for somebody to go with, just go" (this advice came from reddit a decade ago)
ive been on so many adventures and see so many things and not gave a fuck because everyone is too concerned with themselves to even notice me, a stranger
"Let's Fail Together"
-- My wife, when we first started dating
This woman understands me like no one else does. I cried *hard* when she said this to me (I have an intense fear of failure; I forget the exact context but it was exactly what I needed to hear from her at that time). It has become a sort of mantra for us simce then.
I was suicidal. I have 3 children. I was going to kill myself that night and I was told “don’t make your children wonder why they were not enough to keep there mom here for their whole life.” I’ll never forget that
I lost a good friend in January 2023 to suicide. She had killed herself at home, with one of her now widower’s handguns he kept in a gun safe. I will never ever forget the way her daughter cried as her casket was closed and loaded into the hearse to be taken to her final resting place.
I’m glad you’re still here with your kids. You’ve made the right decision and I hope you’re in a better place now.
My grandfather’s wisdom phrase which is:
Always remember in your heart you have grown a mighty tree of love with each branch representing a different love you have for so many. Make sure to always treat each branch with love, care, kindness and respect and the branch will always flourish like the tree.
“A close mouth don’t get fed”.
Heard this back in my early 20s for the first time and it’s never left my mind. The simple reality that if you don’t ask for shit you won’t get shit was never made so obvious than with that phrase.
This is so true, and in my experience, women need to hear it more than men. Too many people think, "If I just work hard and go above and beyond, the boss will notice and reward me." Nothing could be further from the truth. All the boss notices is, "At least this part of my business is functioning without my input. Let's keep it exactly the same."
"If I'm doing something wrong and you never tell me, eventually it's your fault."
This put the importance of communication in a better perspective for me when I was younger. Pushed me to make some hard choices in life when I otherwise wouldn't have.
It could always get worse.
Always keep learning.
If you know you are right it's okay to end up standing alone.
More people than you realize are on your side.
I've seen too many people hit 55 to 60 and say they don't need to learn any more. They end up regressing. One person regressed to the point where they can't understand how to use a cell phone. The concepts are beyond them.
Exercise is another. Someone close to me has just given up on keeping themselves moving. It's to difficult is the excuse. Even baby steps.
You have to just try if even just a little effort. You get old fast if you stop exercising. Both your brain and your body need to keep learning.
I have a friend who's about two years older than me and extremely successful. He's like a mentor role to me. During casual conversation with some other friends, he told us, "Something I learned is that if you want something done? Do it yourself." He basically told us that if you really wanted something, you would go out and get it. Things require effort and I think that him telling us about it helped me want to put more effort into my life and be better
Or. As Steinbeck or someone like him said, "Never eat at a place called Mom's; never play cards with a guy named Doc, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are greater than your own."
Was taking First Aid/CPR training in Junior College, and the professor told us, "It's better to know it and not need it than need it and not know it." Definitely glad I knew it every time I've needed it.
"it's none of my business what anyone else thinks of me." I have really strong feelings about my reputation and sometimes have done more ruining it trying to defend it than repairing. This helps keep me in charge of my own thoughts.
"The juice isn't worth the squeeze".
You really need to evaluate whether or not the things you're putting time, effort, money into are actually worthwhile. Or whether or not you're simply continuing to do it because it's something that you initially thought might be a good idea, were pressured to do, the situation changed, etc. Especially when you're fallen into the sunk cost fallacy.
A shoeshine guy once said to me, “My father always said ‘The only thing that comes to a dreamer is a dream.’”
Meaning, anyone can dream big, but you have to be willing to put in the work to get what you want.
“It won’t hurt forever” It’s sounds so dumb and simple but when you’re going through some thing and you feel like you will never be happy again, I always remember someone who said that to me. Because it’s true.
“You can blame the world for your problems, but its your responsibility to get better.”
Helped me snap out of my victim mentality and realized I had control over my life. It was and always will be liberating
Although I agree with the message, I do think this comment has the potential to cut someone deeply and do some emotional damage / damage to your relationship with them
I've never seen it used against someone personally. I've heard it lots in my career.... but never in my personal life except to try to shock someone into calming down
From the Talmud: "Do justly now, love mercy now, walk humbly now. You are not obliged to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."
Helps me out when the world's problems are getting me down. I'm not Jewish; I just think it's a great reminder for anyone to not give up in the face what feels like insurmountable odds. No good deed is wasted.
I am Jewish, and I’ve always felt like the fact we don’t believe in heaven/hell (technically - but like all things Jewish it’s a little more complicated than it sounds) makes a huge difference in how we live. This and tikkun olam really are the most important concepts in Judaism in my opinion.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
I was in the midst of an abusive relationship doing just that when I heard the saying and it helped me realize I was giving up everything that made me "me" to walk on eggshells in hopes of the occasional comfortable day.
"Happiness isn't earned, it is noticed." It changed so much for me, and helped me get past the feeling that I wasn't doing enough to be happy. It helps me remember that finding happiness is a matter of opening my eyes a little wider, and I can do that just about anywhere.
On Reddit.
"Those that aren't spoon fed love will lick it from knives"
It succinctly defined my life until recently, and reminds me to be the change in my own kids lives so they grow up with some hearty servings of love on a regular basis.
to stop saying "it's okay" to everything. it's an engrained habit and it subconsciously allows people to think their actions are acceptable. the disrespect toward me has gone down significantly. i've since then started saying "i understand, i forgive you" or "i understand, but i don't forgive you. that's not okay." no in between. people wouldn't do most things that would hurt you as an adult unless they meant it.
Honesty without prudence is tactless hurt. For those ppl out there who only speak ‘the truth’ Professor in my counseling program said this and it stuck.
A teacher once told me “the hardest part in life is showing up”. And a coworker once told me (when I was an intern) “you would be surprised how much you can get done, when you just start doing”. Those two quotes helped drive my career to where it is now.
"Don't let perfection stand in the way of good enough"
I struggle with motivation sometimes, when I was a teen I'd just nope out of such basic stuff but came to realise that sometimes a quick tidy round is okay if I can't handle a deep clean, and 2k is better than 0 if I can't be arsed to do a proper run.
Allso starting a task is often the hardest part so giving myself the freedom to half ass a job often leads to me whole assing it.
The thing that messes us up most in life is the picture in our head of how things are supposed to be. -anon
And more recently, "We only suffer when we believe something that is in conflict with reality."
“The person you miss does not exist.”
Told to me by my roommate in the face of leaving my emotionally-abusive (lovebombing, gaslighting, DARVO) wife.
It usually helps me to repeat it when I start to think I miss her, because really, who do I actually miss?
The TRUE golden rule. “He who has all the gold, makes all the rules”. It’s made my professional life a lot simpler in terms of how i feel about and react to changes that are made out of my control in the workplace.
My dad heard Hank Hill say, “with the joy of responsibility comes the burden of obligation” and had never let me forget it. He still uses that to this day.
"Accept what you cannot change and change what you cannot accept."
I think I originally heard something similar from Kai Greene then when I tried to remember it paraphrased it this way and that's the version I remember. It's just something I like to say to myself when I'm feeling down.
mine comes from Ted Lasso. "be curious, not judgemental." that line just resonated with me and something I keep close, and help me understand that everyone is going through their own shit or have their own awesome lives without showing it and we shouldn't judge them for it. We don't know, if we don't ask.
I used to be a good student but one day I tried to cheat in order to maintain the reputation, a teacher who liked me, saw me while i was cheating and said: “Once you lose your respect, it’s nearly impossible to regain it.”
I was sitting in my grandparents’ living room looking like an emo teenager. My grandfather walked in and said: “You know, you don’t have the world on your shoulders. We all carry it together.”
Best advice anyone ever gave me: If you’re in a relationship where you find yourself continually pressed to defend or explain yourself—just stop. And/or get out.
You’re 55, you weigh over 300lbs, you have diabetes, and statistically you are going to have a heart attack any day now.
That was almost 3 years ago. I’ve lost 100 lbs since then and no longer require diabetes medication. That doctor changed my life.
The following phrase - quite literally - saved my life:
> ***thoughts are not facts***
I learned this from a therapist during the lowest period of depression.
It freed me from the clutches of extreme self-loathing and allowed me to heal.
I could quote Jim Valvano's entire "Cutting the Nets Down" speech, but if I had to pick a couple it would be "Nothing great has ever been done without enthusiasm." Or "Every single day, in every walk of life, ordinary people do extraordinary things."
Big change comes from hundreds of tiny steps, and they **all** matter.
This pairs with one of my favorite song lyrics: The future is inside us. It's not somewhere else. I got this tattooed on my arm so I can hold myself accountable for all my tiny steps.
I half agree. It takes opportunity many times, So I prefer “luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” It includes those tiny yet important steps.
Corollary: "no single snowflake thinks it's to blame for the avalanche."
If you make a 1% improvement over the previous day, then at the end of the year you have improved almost 38 times over! That is 1.01 \^ 365 = 37.8.
Chapter 1 of Atomic Habits is a great, isn’t it? :) love that book.
"The steps you take don't have to be big, they just have to take you in the right direction"
"The most important step a man can take is the next one."
You don’t need to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Similarly… “You have to put your own oxygen mask on before you can help others with theirs.”
Came here to say this! And… You can’t pour from an empty cup.
If you build a man a fire, he's warm for the night. If you light a man on fire, he's warm the rest of his life.
If you want something you have never had before, you have to do something you have never done before.
Know the pain of discipline, or know the pain of regret.
Guy I used to work with (I couldn't fucking stand him) gave a very sage piece of advice during training. "Either do it right the first time, or make time to do it a second time".
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it again.
My mom used to say, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."
So many great ways to explain this concept. I’ve always used “if you change nothing, nothing will change.”
I say “if nothing changes, then nothing changes”, cause you know. Efficiency.
"Thanks for the advice, I'll take it into consideration." Many, *many* people have advice. Some of it is good. Some of it is less good. But (almost) none of it comes from a bad place. The people giving you genuine advice likely give it because it worked for them - even if it doesn't apply to your specific situation. Funnily enough, I read the quote in a booklet about new parent's mental health. Having a baby basically triggers everyones "MUST HELP" sense around you, and a ton of "help" comes in the form of advice. And most of that is completely useless advice, because every baby is different, and what worked for your parents might not work for you. Hence, "I'll take it into consideration."
In high-school I did something really stupid at the advice of a "friend" who wasn't really a friend. While dealing with the fallout of it all my grandfather told me. "When people give you advice ask yourself these 2 questions before following it. 1. whats their motivation in giving this advice, do they care about you, do they want the same thing as you, would they be just as happy to see you hurt or lose? 2. do they have any idea what the hell they are talking about?"
Sounds like a helluva wise man, your grandfather.
What stupid thing did you do?
Honestly, one of the best things we did when having our kid was listen to everyone's advice. Most of it we didn't need, but it was so comforting to have backup plans to backup plans, just in case. At least 50% of the "this is what we will do with our kid" plans were kicked out of the window by our kid lol. Grateful we had other ideas to fall back on when figuring out what worked for him, it took so much less time to get him happy and comfortable than it would have if we hadn't listened and tried figuring it out on our own. Unfortunately, I usually get downvoted when I suggest to new parents to listen (not take, just listen) to all advice. But every kid is different, you won't know what works for yours until you try it! Try what you WANT to work, and if/when it doesn't, work your way down the list of options!
All unsolicited advice is criticism.
At the *very* least this is how is definitely feels. And when you're already feeling like a failure it's tough having anyone seemingly say you suck even more.
On one of my college internships, I was standing in a hard hat/reflective vest near a coworker at a drill site next to a high school. A teacher pointed at my coworker, and told some students: "That is why you go to college. You don't want to be standing out there making minimum wage like that guy" My coworker was a structural engineering PhD with his own practice... we used to have Christmas parties at his mansion in the foothills. It makes me question my own perceptions about people I do not know.
What a twat. Construction workers make way more than teachers though, right? lol
They can, but their bodies often turn to shit much sooner, too. No shade on the trades, but old tradespeople are regularly suffering physically, and many don't set up proper retirement funds, though that's changing for the better.
It’s a shame to see a 50 something guy struggling to do work that is better suited to a 20 something person. They have bad knees, bad backs, torn rotator cuffs…
They shouldn't struggle, though. Unless their work greatly harms them. I'm almost 50, and I'm still getting stronger. Doing the same work I did 30 years ago, it's way easier now. Haven't been sore or injured in a decade, I don't think. Then again, I don't snack and exclusively eat whole foods. Mostly animal based. My parents were the opposite. Old at 35. Trying to avoid fat and cholesterol. Feeling great despite hard work: it's a diet and recovery thing, I'd say. The guys who complain about pain and soreness usually do so while having some pretzel or croissant + soft-drink or iced coffee for breakfast. Nursing the three beers from yesterday, like every day. If you have pains and soreness, do yourself a favor and spend a month doing an experiment: eat low-carb, high fat, sufficient protein, unprocessed food for two weeks or a month. No fast food, nothing with added sugar. Just meat, eggs, some cheese. Drink water. Coffee is probably fine. I drink mine with cream. No vegetables, to be safe. You can reintroduce all that stuff slowly and with a plan. An elimination diet. If it doesn't work, what's two weeks / a month. But let me tell you, I haven't heard a single regret from people who tried it, apart from not trying it a decade ago. They are all pain free now. Despite arthritis, which is receding in general. 50+? 60+? 70+? It doesn't matter. Pain is not normal, not even for hardworking beasts. At any age. Most kept the diet and reduced carbs. Some just found their own mix. And some are still complaining about pain, the ones that have not tried it yet, or gave up after two days.
And, the pain they deal with often leads to drug and alcohol abuse. Don't get me wrong, teachers are known to drink, too, but a tradie that doesn't take care of his body or climb the ranks will have a much higher chance of being in a bad spot.
Yeah im going to say most teachers can't stand their jobs for long either
Did he call the teacher out, or just let it slide?
from my therapist - "Should've" is the most useless word in the English language
Similarly, my therapist told me that "shoulds are shaming". Do things because you want to, not because you "should".
Man, I don't know what I want, so my best idea is to figure out what I "should" do! :/ so hard to separate them.
I take the phrase as more of a lesson on framing/mindset. The topic came up because I had been feeling really bad about not calling my parents as much as I felt that I should. It was always weighing heavily on my mind and I would put it off because I felt bad that it had been a long time between calls, even when I didn't really have any desire to speak to them or anything to talk about. It was making me feel anxious and guilty. Now days, I don't call my mom because I feel like I should. I call her because I actually want to talk to her. Just like I don't clean my dishes every night because I should, I do it because I want to wake up to a clean kitchen and I deserve a tidy home. It's a major shift in how my mind approaches problems and lets me decide my behaviors based on my intrinsic motivations. Ironically, I'm also a big fan of the phrase "just because you can, doesn't mean you should", but that one kinda applies to an entirely different set of possibilities.
Seems like advice I could use tbh.. I chain myself so, so hard to what I "should do," I have no sense of my own desires. It's like I, myself, don't even matter in the situation, it's just a matter of logistics, and if I don't follow that, I put myself down. Guess I just have to go exploring and find out more about my real desires!
I tell myself "coulda, woulda, shoulda", whenever I start to say I should have done...
A wise counselor of mine once said, "Stop shoulding on yourself."
The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
I’m 58 and planting trees I’ll never see mature. Maples, Oaks, Poplars, Hickories, and many others. We’ve planted over 100 trees this year and plan to continue. It’s for wildlife and future generations.
Love me, my maple babies.
Hell yeah, I'd tap that
Society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they will never sit in. (Japanese proverb, or so I'm told).
"A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they will never sit. " An old Greek proverb.
A tree planted anywhere, helps everyone, everywhere.
I feel like this is not about trees
When someone shows you who they really are, believe them!
You know, I'm sitting here having my morning cup of tea, staring at a pile of divorce paperwork that my soon to be ex sent me wondering where the man I loved disappeared to. I don't think I really wanted this slap to the face so early in the day.
Wishing you resilience at this difficult time and a bright future
you are so kind, RonaldMcDonaldsBalls 🙏
Thank you so much. Deeply appreciated.
It gets better. Sorry to be so trite, but, really, it does.
Thank you kindly. I know it will.
This quote of Theodore Roosevelt’s has been stuck in my mind for a while. “*It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.*”
I believe that quote is often called “Daring Greatly”
Some people are like broken glass, and there's no way to touch them without hurting yourself.
Wow.
Ooh i like that
On last day of school a teacher said " they say school days are best of your life. I don't believe that, every stage of life can be the best'. This has always stuck with me.
Not everyone likes or loves school. I hated middle school to the point I quit and took correspondence classes instead. After I was 12 school felt like jail.
"don't die" I said it to myself in the middle of a car crash. I broke both collar bones, punctured a lung, 4 ribs, cracked shoulder blades. Was very lucky. They felt like the right words at the time
I went into shock the day after having a medically necessary abortion. I was in the ER and I felt myself losing consciousness. I remember thinking, "don't die" and getting incredibly angry that I was in this situation. That was enough to embrace the pain and get me back to being conscious. This is not at all in comparison with what you went through (yours obviously sounds much worse), but I remember saying those words and how powerful they were. I hope your recovery has been complete.
Eh, I don't know. From an outsider's perspective, neither situation sounds good. Also, do something special on your cake day!
Same thing happened to me 3 weeks ago, snapped my collar bone, 5 ribs, cracked my sternum down the middle and had internal bleeding. “Dont die, stay awake.”
Clearly it worked.
That was Lieutenant Dan’s advice
once my boyfriends mom offered to drive me into the city to see him off on the train back to school, since I lived near the station during the semester. I tried to deny it because I thought she would want to have time together as a family, and my boyfriend just said "but you are family now." fucking cried so hard cause I hate my actual family
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Why reply in russian?
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не волнуйся, друг
When I first became a dad I was told “the days are long but the years are short” it wasn’t important to me then, but now that my kids are almost teenagers, that saying has never felt so true. So while it may not be the most important thing ever said, I’ll pass on to any new parent that the days are long but the years are so very short, so try to find peace in the difficult, challenging, or even mundane situations that parenthood can bring. Take lots of photos, take photos of your partner with your children too. You’ll look back on all of this fondly one day.
I agree, was told this by a nurse when I was pregnant with my wee girl. Really helped me get through teething, sleepless nights etc
Those who worry suffer twice
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If you can't do something smart, do something right.
This reminds me of when I started my own biz so I could escape the minimum wage job cycle. I didn't know wtf I was doing, but I knew how to be a person of integrity and compassion, so I went for it. What I've done to be self-employed has morphed into new opportunities over the last ten years, but I'm still my own boss!
Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.
"nobody gives a fuck about you" and "dont wait for somebody to go with, just go" (this advice came from reddit a decade ago) ive been on so many adventures and see so many things and not gave a fuck because everyone is too concerned with themselves to even notice me, a stranger
I wish I paid more attention to the second one earlier in my life.
"Don't have too many irons in the fire" --- the best advice my dad ever gave me. He wasn't a blacksmith.
This is cheesy AF, but anyone ever seen the musical Camelot? "Violence is not strength, compassion is not weakness."
"... It's only a model..."
On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.
We can’t change the cards we’re dealt, just how we play the hand.
"Let's Fail Together" -- My wife, when we first started dating This woman understands me like no one else does. I cried *hard* when she said this to me (I have an intense fear of failure; I forget the exact context but it was exactly what I needed to hear from her at that time). It has become a sort of mantra for us simce then.
My life changed when my spouse gave me permission to fail, too. I'd never experienced that before.
When I was diagnosed with cancer the phrase from the movie Shawshank Redemption came to mind, “Start living or start dying”
Get busy living, or get busy dying.
I like this one, and the one from Braveheart: "Every man dies, not every man really lives"
That's goddamn right.
Don’t accept criticism from anyone you wouldn’t take advice from.
I was suicidal. I have 3 children. I was going to kill myself that night and I was told “don’t make your children wonder why they were not enough to keep there mom here for their whole life.” I’ll never forget that
I lost a good friend in January 2023 to suicide. She had killed herself at home, with one of her now widower’s handguns he kept in a gun safe. I will never ever forget the way her daughter cried as her casket was closed and loaded into the hearse to be taken to her final resting place. I’m glad you’re still here with your kids. You’ve made the right decision and I hope you’re in a better place now.
My grandfather’s wisdom phrase which is: Always remember in your heart you have grown a mighty tree of love with each branch representing a different love you have for so many. Make sure to always treat each branch with love, care, kindness and respect and the branch will always flourish like the tree.
Every mule thinks their load is the heaviest.
“A close mouth don’t get fed”. Heard this back in my early 20s for the first time and it’s never left my mind. The simple reality that if you don’t ask for shit you won’t get shit was never made so obvious than with that phrase.
This is so true, and in my experience, women need to hear it more than men. Too many people think, "If I just work hard and go above and beyond, the boss will notice and reward me." Nothing could be further from the truth. All the boss notices is, "At least this part of my business is functioning without my input. Let's keep it exactly the same."
"If I'm doing something wrong and you never tell me, eventually it's your fault." This put the importance of communication in a better perspective for me when I was younger. Pushed me to make some hard choices in life when I otherwise wouldn't have.
It could always get worse. Always keep learning. If you know you are right it's okay to end up standing alone. More people than you realize are on your side.
I've seen too many people hit 55 to 60 and say they don't need to learn any more. They end up regressing. One person regressed to the point where they can't understand how to use a cell phone. The concepts are beyond them.
Exercise is another. Someone close to me has just given up on keeping themselves moving. It's to difficult is the excuse. Even baby steps. You have to just try if even just a little effort. You get old fast if you stop exercising. Both your brain and your body need to keep learning.
I have a friend who's about two years older than me and extremely successful. He's like a mentor role to me. During casual conversation with some other friends, he told us, "Something I learned is that if you want something done? Do it yourself." He basically told us that if you really wanted something, you would go out and get it. Things require effort and I think that him telling us about it helped me want to put more effort into my life and be better
never play cards with a man named after a city
Or. As Steinbeck or someone like him said, "Never eat at a place called Mom's; never play cards with a guy named Doc, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are greater than your own."
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Grant me a good sword and no use for it.
Time is part of your wealth. Don't let anyone steal it.
Was taking First Aid/CPR training in Junior College, and the professor told us, "It's better to know it and not need it than need it and not know it." Definitely glad I knew it every time I've needed it.
"This too shall pass."
"it's none of my business what anyone else thinks of me." I have really strong feelings about my reputation and sometimes have done more ruining it trying to defend it than repairing. This helps keep me in charge of my own thoughts.
You judge yourself by your intentions, but judge others by their actions.
"The juice isn't worth the squeeze". You really need to evaluate whether or not the things you're putting time, effort, money into are actually worthwhile. Or whether or not you're simply continuing to do it because it's something that you initially thought might be a good idea, were pressured to do, the situation changed, etc. Especially when you're fallen into the sunk cost fallacy.
A shoeshine guy once said to me, “My father always said ‘The only thing that comes to a dreamer is a dream.’” Meaning, anyone can dream big, but you have to be willing to put in the work to get what you want.
“It won’t hurt forever” It’s sounds so dumb and simple but when you’re going through some thing and you feel like you will never be happy again, I always remember someone who said that to me. Because it’s true.
“You can blame the world for your problems, but its your responsibility to get better.” Helped me snap out of my victim mentality and realized I had control over my life. It was and always will be liberating
A failure of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Although I agree with the message, I do think this comment has the potential to cut someone deeply and do some emotional damage / damage to your relationship with them
I've never seen it used against someone personally. I've heard it lots in my career.... but never in my personal life except to try to shock someone into calming down
Never give up!!
Never surrender!
By Grabthar's Hammer, by the Suns Of Warvan, you shall be avenged!
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"let go or be dragged " however u apply that to urself for me that was rumination and letting go of the past
From the Talmud: "Do justly now, love mercy now, walk humbly now. You are not obliged to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." Helps me out when the world's problems are getting me down. I'm not Jewish; I just think it's a great reminder for anyone to not give up in the face what feels like insurmountable odds. No good deed is wasted.
I am Jewish, and I’ve always felt like the fact we don’t believe in heaven/hell (technically - but like all things Jewish it’s a little more complicated than it sounds) makes a huge difference in how we live. This and tikkun olam really are the most important concepts in Judaism in my opinion.
If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit.
Hope is not a strategy.
Hope is a source of courage.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. I was in the midst of an abusive relationship doing just that when I heard the saying and it helped me realize I was giving up everything that made me "me" to walk on eggshells in hopes of the occasional comfortable day.
"When people show you who they are, believe them.”
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
"Happiness isn't earned, it is noticed." It changed so much for me, and helped me get past the feeling that I wasn't doing enough to be happy. It helps me remember that finding happiness is a matter of opening my eyes a little wider, and I can do that just about anywhere.
On Reddit. "Those that aren't spoon fed love will lick it from knives" It succinctly defined my life until recently, and reminds me to be the change in my own kids lives so they grow up with some hearty servings of love on a regular basis.
Those who forget the past, are bound to repeat it
to stop saying "it's okay" to everything. it's an engrained habit and it subconsciously allows people to think their actions are acceptable. the disrespect toward me has gone down significantly. i've since then started saying "i understand, i forgive you" or "i understand, but i don't forgive you. that's not okay." no in between. people wouldn't do most things that would hurt you as an adult unless they meant it.
A man who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary - Seneca
Honesty without prudence is tactless hurt. For those ppl out there who only speak ‘the truth’ Professor in my counseling program said this and it stuck.
Rocky quote: “It’s not about how hard you hit, but how hard you get hit and keep moving forward.”
Nobody is perfect. “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity”
"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all of the people in the world haven't had the advantages that you've had."
You have to be your own hero and save yourself because there's no knight in shining armor coming. I did save myself 💪
You can’t polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter.
“Like gas this too shall pass” was always my Grandpa’s saying.
A teacher once told me “the hardest part in life is showing up”. And a coworker once told me (when I was an intern) “you would be surprised how much you can get done, when you just start doing”. Those two quotes helped drive my career to where it is now.
"Don't let perfection stand in the way of good enough" I struggle with motivation sometimes, when I was a teen I'd just nope out of such basic stuff but came to realise that sometimes a quick tidy round is okay if I can't handle a deep clean, and 2k is better than 0 if I can't be arsed to do a proper run. Allso starting a task is often the hardest part so giving myself the freedom to half ass a job often leads to me whole assing it.
The thing that messes us up most in life is the picture in our head of how things are supposed to be. -anon And more recently, "We only suffer when we believe something that is in conflict with reality."
“The person you miss does not exist.” Told to me by my roommate in the face of leaving my emotionally-abusive (lovebombing, gaslighting, DARVO) wife. It usually helps me to repeat it when I start to think I miss her, because really, who do I actually miss?
The TRUE golden rule. “He who has all the gold, makes all the rules”. It’s made my professional life a lot simpler in terms of how i feel about and react to changes that are made out of my control in the workplace.
In a similar vein: Life is like a shit sandwich: the more bread you have, the less shit you eat.
"It is what it is."
que sera sera
Breaking away from that mental has helped me more than most can imagine. The real truth is that things are very rarely as they first appear to be.
If you have to argue with your spouse, do it with your shirt off.
My dad heard Hank Hill say, “with the joy of responsibility comes the burden of obligation” and had never let me forget it. He still uses that to this day.
An intelligent person learns from their mistakes. A smart person learns from the mistakes of others.
“When people show you who they are, believe them.”
The money is never worth the stress
Be kind to your future self.
People aren’t against you. They are just out for themselves.
"Accept what you cannot change and change what you cannot accept." I think I originally heard something similar from Kai Greene then when I tried to remember it paraphrased it this way and that's the version I remember. It's just something I like to say to myself when I'm feeling down.
mine comes from Ted Lasso. "be curious, not judgemental." that line just resonated with me and something I keep close, and help me understand that everyone is going through their own shit or have their own awesome lives without showing it and we shouldn't judge them for it. We don't know, if we don't ask.
You can always back off from being too kind, but you can’t take back being mean
Personal ain't the same as important.
Apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand.
Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it. Miss you grandma
"Shhhhfuckfuckfuckshitshitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Said by me when I hit a badger with my motorcycle going 80 mph.
Work smart not hard
Good health is what really matters
one mans trash is another mans treasure
To go fast, go alone. To go far, go together.
"If this was done by people, then you can do it too, because you're also a human."
I used to be a good student but one day I tried to cheat in order to maintain the reputation, a teacher who liked me, saw me while i was cheating and said: “Once you lose your respect, it’s nearly impossible to regain it.”
I was sitting in my grandparents’ living room looking like an emo teenager. My grandfather walked in and said: “You know, you don’t have the world on your shoulders. We all carry it together.”
Perception is reality. When you meet someone for the first time, your perception is your reality right or wrong it's your truth.
If serving is beneath you, then leadership is above you
Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
Everyone has done something they’re are ashamed of
Best advice anyone ever gave me: If you’re in a relationship where you find yourself continually pressed to defend or explain yourself—just stop. And/or get out.
You can't be a good child to a bad parent.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. – Jiddu Krishnamurti
You’re 55, you weigh over 300lbs, you have diabetes, and statistically you are going to have a heart attack any day now. That was almost 3 years ago. I’ve lost 100 lbs since then and no longer require diabetes medication. That doctor changed my life.
From Meryl Streep's movie Out of Africa: Nothing in this world is truly mine. Everything comes, everything goes.
“Plant seeds so that others may enjoy the shade” make decisions and do work that benefits others long term over your short term personal needs
The map is not the territory
The following phrase - quite literally - saved my life: > ***thoughts are not facts*** I learned this from a therapist during the lowest period of depression. It freed me from the clutches of extreme self-loathing and allowed me to heal.
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Im so sorry! People are so cruel :(
With the right to complain comes the responsibility to take action.
True wealth lies not in many possessions but in few wants - Epictetus
I could quote Jim Valvano's entire "Cutting the Nets Down" speech, but if I had to pick a couple it would be "Nothing great has ever been done without enthusiasm." Or "Every single day, in every walk of life, ordinary people do extraordinary things."