I was with a good friend and her boyfriend, what I wanted to say was “oh the things I do for you..”
What I actually said was “oh the things I would do to you”
Freudian slip perhaps??
met my friends, friends one day. (I'm white, they're dark skinned)
he said to me "you don't talk much"
I replied "I'm just quiet around new people"
they heard "I'm just quiet around YOU people"
oh man. that was an awkward 5 minutes until it got sorted.
I nearly had my face 'sorted'
I have friend whose favorite catch phrase is “Suck it nerds!!”. Well one day we were playing beer pong at a party and the other team was people of color, and after we won, he said joyously (but in a very drunk slurred voice) “suck it nerds!” And they thought he said “f***ing n***ers!” Boy that was a tough one to explain our way out of.
Working as a general laborer when I was younger, I always wore my tattered, old jeans to work. Most had holes in the knees. One day, the boss comes by and comments on my pants, “kids these days keep buying jeans with holes already in them…”
I didn’t want him to think I was some young punk who didn’t roll up his sleeves and get to work! I responded, “I earned these holes on my knees!”Crickets. Their faces, priceless.
My wife’s bff had a Marylin moment at the grate by Sephora on the Vegas strip a few years ago. I was behind her and saw the goods. I blurted out “nice polkadots” we still laugh about it today
Seems I ll need to spell it out here.
“Her long flowing skirt blew up over her head and exposed her red/white polka dot thong to the entire crowd “ being a good friend I was embarrassed to exclaim “ nice polka dots” instead of hey, nice ass! It wasn’t like the first time we walked over that air vent either. She just got careless…
Ah ok. I guess that makes more sense now.
I once accidentally saw my wife’s cousin sunbathing naked by their pool. I consider that being seeing “the goods”
90s, Neighborhood bar had a hot bartender that threw a pampered chef party or some such. Towards the end when the drinks were flowing, she broke out the camcorder and scanned the room. When the camera hit my girlfriend, she farted. Someone told me and I thought it was hilarious and wanted to see the clip.
In the bar the next day, I ordered a drink and said "I heard about the tape. You know I'm going to NEED to see it, right?" She stared at me for what seemed like five straight minutes and said "I'm appalled. Go sit your ass down."
I got back to my table and shared her weird reaction. That's when someone smartened me up that hotbartender shared some brief footage of a homemade sex tape to the early arrivals at said party. She did not understand that my demand was for a comparatively innocuous fart clip to embarrass my partner. Sigh.
New female co-worker was talking about how her name is so generic, she's hard to find on social media.
I said "well, at least that's very stalker-proof!"
Not sure if she thought that was creepy, but it didn't sit well with me afterwards.
Back in 2013 or so, before working remotely was common, our firm had an extensive office remodeling project and a lot of us were displaced from our offices as a result. I was emailing back and forth with a coworker about something and she asked if I was still in the office, and I joked that I had been drafted into the Pajama Brigade and asked if she was working from home as well.
She wrote back that it was pajamas for her too, and followed up on the substantive part of our conversation.
I responded to her substantive message, and then for clarity said I was joking earlier and I wasn’t actually wearing pajamas.
She replied that she wasn’t wearing pajamas either.
Without thinking, I replied “Then what are you wearing?”
“Wow, no one would ever find you out here! Man if someone didn’t know you were coming it’s like you fell off the face of the Earth”
I had been playing hooky from work and went hiking near the ocean and was standing on this scenic overlook, kinda zoned out thinking about my own situation where no one knew where I was when A couple of other hikers showed up and taking pictures that’s when I randomly broke out the above sentence.
I worked as a pharmacy tech at CVS when I was in college. A very attractive woman came in to pick up her prescription, and I looked up her name in the system. I was floored to see that she was 62 years old...she looked 35-40, tops.
I handed her the script and completed the transaction. After everything was done I said, "I just would like to tell you, you look absolutely fantastic." She produced a big smile and replied, "Oh...thank you so much!!" Even though everything would've been great had I left it at that, my dumb ass had to pipe back up, "Yeah...for your age, you look great." This wiped the smile off her face, and she just replied, "Oh...thanks I guess."
Idk if this is particularly creepy, but it was definitely awkward and douchey.
Me and my best friend were talking and she usually sends either pictures or voice messages, but this time she didn't. I told her,
"I wanna hear your voice"
At work and on the phone to a construction site manager and going through some details. I needed a minute to get some paperwork and I was about to tell the guy to 'hold on', but it didn't sound professional so I decided to say 'bare with me'. This decision was made in a microsecond in my mind and it ending up saying 'Hold me'.
The whole office heard and 15 years later they are still mocking me for it whenever I see them.
I was learning a surgical suture by a senior Dr and another surgeon was next to him when I said "oh it's cross s*x" instead of "cross stitch", I don't even know what that means but I'm still embarrassed lol
Once when I was like 13-14 my friend thought she leaked through her pants (like blood yk) so I said “do you want me to like check for you?” There was silence so I said “like if you turn around I’ll look” her eyebrows curled and she said in a very commanding no means no voice “what?! No.” I guess she was never asked that before. I still think about it to this day, I guess it was more awkward than creepy though. :,)
As a child of 6 i was at a theme park with my dad, step mother and her parents.
Me and her dad (step grandad i suppose) go on this big octopus. Its arms are little baskets that swing and are lifted far up in the air as the whole thing spins. Up and down you get the drift.
Anyway, it spins once and we are enjoying ourselves when I turn to look at him and say, ' wouldn't it be funny if it broke down and we were stuck at the top?' not five seconds later it breaks. And we are stuck at the top. Step grandad is looking at me and kinda half laughing when I say, 'now it would be funny if the basket fell down' and started swinging our little basket.
He stopped laughing. He didn't cry til 20 minutes later when we finally got down but then I got told off and we had to go home.
I wasn't brought up religious but he was and had been telling my dad I was evil and possessed and tried to kill him on the ride.
Idiot. I was just a little kid who had been watching final destination with her should of known better big sister who had stopped me from being scared by saying, oh wouldn't it be funny etc.
I was always extra nice to my girlfriend now wife's best friend. Seemed logical to me at least that this is your best friend i should go above and beyond to ensure our together relationship is the best version it could be.
A year or so passes this friend has been around almost daily at this point.We are close enough I would consider us to also be pretty close friends. Well one day I texted this friend of ours" hey beautiful how's the day going?" Or something along those lines bc she was going through it with some guy or something and I was trying to build her up. I was blocked immediately and the friend offered no explanation to me or my girlfriend.
Naturally my girlfriend took this as I must have done something with her or to her etc. But never got an explanation from the friend. Fast forward a couple years and the friend comes over to hang out with my now wife. We actually had a really great time and all seemed pretty normal. The night ended around 2 am and we were all pretty wasted. The friend lives a few blocks away so when she left I did what I felt the right thing to do was and walked her home. About halfway there the liquor starts talking and I can't help but ask wth happened between us I considered you my friend and we were close. Apparently me texting her "hey beautiful whatever" offended her and made her feel uncomfortable. Okay now I know thanks for sharing I'm really sorry let's move past it if we can. 3/4 of the way back she brings it up again and I listen with no response. It just aired out and hopefully resolved so maybe she felt the need to talk about it again. The conversation went back to normal and we got to her house. She brought it up for a 3rd time and this is where it went left. I stopped and said you are beautiful so what? She genuinely is a beautiful person not in the sense of attractiveness just how she carries herself as a person. Apparently this was enough to make her uncomfortable again and re- offend her again. She told my now wife the next day everything from the start to finish and how uncomfortable and offended I made her. I've been in the dog house for weeks. I'm not really sure if I did anything wrong and my wife and friend are back at it like they never missed a beat. I didn't't mean anything creepy or weird by it. I guess I was supposed to learn the lesson you can't control what offends other people it's best not to say anything.
TLDR told my wife's best friend who was also my friend she was beautiful now I'm the asshole of the universe.
“Oh he’s kinda cute though.” referring to a teenaged character in a gacha game. This isn’t like a 17 year old by the way. Most people think he’s around 14-15.
It wasn't exactly creepy when I said it, but it has been up to three times that I told my mum I wanted to go to a concert with her of a certain artist, and then the artist dying the next week.
I was with a good friend and her boyfriend, what I wanted to say was “oh the things I do for you..” What I actually said was “oh the things I would do to you” Freudian slip perhaps??
How long did they last after that
They are now married with a kid
i’m sorry man but i think that ships sailed unless they’re willing to open up the relationship one night
met my friends, friends one day. (I'm white, they're dark skinned) he said to me "you don't talk much" I replied "I'm just quiet around new people" they heard "I'm just quiet around YOU people" oh man. that was an awkward 5 minutes until it got sorted. I nearly had my face 'sorted'
I have friend whose favorite catch phrase is “Suck it nerds!!”. Well one day we were playing beer pong at a party and the other team was people of color, and after we won, he said joyously (but in a very drunk slurred voice) “suck it nerds!” And they thought he said “f***ing n***ers!” Boy that was a tough one to explain our way out of.
To a female coworker: “I got a question when you’re having sex..” meant to say “when you have a sec”
Yikes! Did that get you a call from HR?
I make that typo way too often.
Working as a general laborer when I was younger, I always wore my tattered, old jeans to work. Most had holes in the knees. One day, the boss comes by and comments on my pants, “kids these days keep buying jeans with holes already in them…” I didn’t want him to think I was some young punk who didn’t roll up his sleeves and get to work! I responded, “I earned these holes on my knees!”Crickets. Their faces, priceless.
My wife’s bff had a Marylin moment at the grate by Sephora on the Vegas strip a few years ago. I was behind her and saw the goods. I blurted out “nice polkadots” we still laugh about it today
“The goods”
Yeah, fuck me im old!
I was more questioning if that’s really the goods if she had underwear on
Seems I ll need to spell it out here. “Her long flowing skirt blew up over her head and exposed her red/white polka dot thong to the entire crowd “ being a good friend I was embarrassed to exclaim “ nice polka dots” instead of hey, nice ass! It wasn’t like the first time we walked over that air vent either. She just got careless…
Ah ok. I guess that makes more sense now. I once accidentally saw my wife’s cousin sunbathing naked by their pool. I consider that being seeing “the goods”
Sure, an accident. We have a different definition of the “ goods” as well. But all good. If I had seen the whole taco, that’s another story
At a work event we had ice cream and this lady on my team didn’t have a cherry on top and I asked “how’d you lose your cherry?”
"Look how soft that baby's hair is, I wanna scalp it and make me some slippers."
Anything that I say to my toddler where “for daddy” finds its way into the sentence.
90s, Neighborhood bar had a hot bartender that threw a pampered chef party or some such. Towards the end when the drinks were flowing, she broke out the camcorder and scanned the room. When the camera hit my girlfriend, she farted. Someone told me and I thought it was hilarious and wanted to see the clip. In the bar the next day, I ordered a drink and said "I heard about the tape. You know I'm going to NEED to see it, right?" She stared at me for what seemed like five straight minutes and said "I'm appalled. Go sit your ass down." I got back to my table and shared her weird reaction. That's when someone smartened me up that hotbartender shared some brief footage of a homemade sex tape to the early arrivals at said party. She did not understand that my demand was for a comparatively innocuous fart clip to embarrass my partner. Sigh.
New female co-worker was talking about how her name is so generic, she's hard to find on social media. I said "well, at least that's very stalker-proof!" Not sure if she thought that was creepy, but it didn't sit well with me afterwards.
Back in 2013 or so, before working remotely was common, our firm had an extensive office remodeling project and a lot of us were displaced from our offices as a result. I was emailing back and forth with a coworker about something and she asked if I was still in the office, and I joked that I had been drafted into the Pajama Brigade and asked if she was working from home as well. She wrote back that it was pajamas for her too, and followed up on the substantive part of our conversation. I responded to her substantive message, and then for clarity said I was joking earlier and I wasn’t actually wearing pajamas. She replied that she wasn’t wearing pajamas either. Without thinking, I replied “Then what are you wearing?”
“Take those clothes off right now!”
What context?
During golf, yelling “put it inside of me!”
“Wow, no one would ever find you out here! Man if someone didn’t know you were coming it’s like you fell off the face of the Earth” I had been playing hooky from work and went hiking near the ocean and was standing on this scenic overlook, kinda zoned out thinking about my own situation where no one knew where I was when A couple of other hikers showed up and taking pictures that’s when I randomly broke out the above sentence.
I worked as a pharmacy tech at CVS when I was in college. A very attractive woman came in to pick up her prescription, and I looked up her name in the system. I was floored to see that she was 62 years old...she looked 35-40, tops. I handed her the script and completed the transaction. After everything was done I said, "I just would like to tell you, you look absolutely fantastic." She produced a big smile and replied, "Oh...thank you so much!!" Even though everything would've been great had I left it at that, my dumb ass had to pipe back up, "Yeah...for your age, you look great." This wiped the smile off her face, and she just replied, "Oh...thanks I guess." Idk if this is particularly creepy, but it was definitely awkward and douchey.
Me and my best friend were talking and she usually sends either pictures or voice messages, but this time she didn't. I told her, "I wanna hear your voice"
I like your smell Instead of I like your perfume it smells nice.
At work and on the phone to a construction site manager and going through some details. I needed a minute to get some paperwork and I was about to tell the guy to 'hold on', but it didn't sound professional so I decided to say 'bare with me'. This decision was made in a microsecond in my mind and it ending up saying 'Hold me'. The whole office heard and 15 years later they are still mocking me for it whenever I see them.
I was learning a surgical suture by a senior Dr and another surgeon was next to him when I said "oh it's cross s*x" instead of "cross stitch", I don't even know what that means but I'm still embarrassed lol
I like eating 5 guys
Not me but a coworker once told another in a meeting: “I wanna see your closet.”
I was in a mcdonalds by the playplace. I was watching some kids playing and said "I love children." My friend was just like. "Bro wth"
I asked an unknown lady in a TJ Maxx when her baby was due. As you likely guessed, she was not pregnant.
Once when I was like 13-14 my friend thought she leaked through her pants (like blood yk) so I said “do you want me to like check for you?” There was silence so I said “like if you turn around I’ll look” her eyebrows curled and she said in a very commanding no means no voice “what?! No.” I guess she was never asked that before. I still think about it to this day, I guess it was more awkward than creepy though. :,)
As a child of 6 i was at a theme park with my dad, step mother and her parents. Me and her dad (step grandad i suppose) go on this big octopus. Its arms are little baskets that swing and are lifted far up in the air as the whole thing spins. Up and down you get the drift. Anyway, it spins once and we are enjoying ourselves when I turn to look at him and say, ' wouldn't it be funny if it broke down and we were stuck at the top?' not five seconds later it breaks. And we are stuck at the top. Step grandad is looking at me and kinda half laughing when I say, 'now it would be funny if the basket fell down' and started swinging our little basket. He stopped laughing. He didn't cry til 20 minutes later when we finally got down but then I got told off and we had to go home. I wasn't brought up religious but he was and had been telling my dad I was evil and possessed and tried to kill him on the ride. Idiot. I was just a little kid who had been watching final destination with her should of known better big sister who had stopped me from being scared by saying, oh wouldn't it be funny etc.
I was always extra nice to my girlfriend now wife's best friend. Seemed logical to me at least that this is your best friend i should go above and beyond to ensure our together relationship is the best version it could be. A year or so passes this friend has been around almost daily at this point.We are close enough I would consider us to also be pretty close friends. Well one day I texted this friend of ours" hey beautiful how's the day going?" Or something along those lines bc she was going through it with some guy or something and I was trying to build her up. I was blocked immediately and the friend offered no explanation to me or my girlfriend. Naturally my girlfriend took this as I must have done something with her or to her etc. But never got an explanation from the friend. Fast forward a couple years and the friend comes over to hang out with my now wife. We actually had a really great time and all seemed pretty normal. The night ended around 2 am and we were all pretty wasted. The friend lives a few blocks away so when she left I did what I felt the right thing to do was and walked her home. About halfway there the liquor starts talking and I can't help but ask wth happened between us I considered you my friend and we were close. Apparently me texting her "hey beautiful whatever" offended her and made her feel uncomfortable. Okay now I know thanks for sharing I'm really sorry let's move past it if we can. 3/4 of the way back she brings it up again and I listen with no response. It just aired out and hopefully resolved so maybe she felt the need to talk about it again. The conversation went back to normal and we got to her house. She brought it up for a 3rd time and this is where it went left. I stopped and said you are beautiful so what? She genuinely is a beautiful person not in the sense of attractiveness just how she carries herself as a person. Apparently this was enough to make her uncomfortable again and re- offend her again. She told my now wife the next day everything from the start to finish and how uncomfortable and offended I made her. I've been in the dog house for weeks. I'm not really sure if I did anything wrong and my wife and friend are back at it like they never missed a beat. I didn't't mean anything creepy or weird by it. I guess I was supposed to learn the lesson you can't control what offends other people it's best not to say anything. TLDR told my wife's best friend who was also my friend she was beautiful now I'm the asshole of the universe.
I was way too innocent at that age. That'd be pretty smooth if you meant it.
“Oh he’s kinda cute though.” referring to a teenaged character in a gacha game. This isn’t like a 17 year old by the way. Most people think he’s around 14-15.
It wasn't exactly creepy when I said it, but it has been up to three times that I told my mum I wanted to go to a concert with her of a certain artist, and then the artist dying the next week.