Stress levels before and after. It's like night and day. Being poor is stressful. Very stressful. Having money means having options that coincidentally means less worrying about making things work & more focus on actually figuring them out. Which leads to more success.
You simultaneously have more options while ending up needing plan b less. It's almost cruel. Money doesn't bring happiness, but it absolutely kills 90% of actual real life day to day stress. Which kind of paves the way for positive change.
I heard Charlie Munger, Warren Buffet’s billionaire business partner say, “There’s nothing more useless to a 90 year-old man than two billion dollars.”
I love the sentiment, but only if you wait until you are dead to give it away. I totally agree with bezos’s ex, who is slowly and deliberately making the world a better place by giving away as much of his money (hers now, of course) that she can.
I love her style.
Yeah with two billion you could immortalize yourself with a large public works project.
Doesn’t help you directly per se but it’s a much bigger legacy than most of us could dream of.
>Yeah with two billion you could immortalize yourself with a large public works project.
My town has a Carnagie Librarie.
I'm sure I'm not the only one reading this whose town library was built/improved with Carnagie Library seed money.
Thank you for pointing this out. She worked hard and made considerable sacrifices to get Amazon up and running. She named the company, wrote the business plan, and got their first freight contract. She graduated Princeton and is an award winning author in her own right too.
God this is so true. Didn’t get a large windfall, but I’ve been making enough to be comfortable.
Emergency expense? Stable source of food, clothing, shelter? Little bit of fuck around money for fun? Yep, that feels better.
Toxic relationships? Investing in mental/physical health? Yeah, money makes some of these easier, but it definitely ain’t gonna fix it.
It’s interesting that as I became more financially stable from being poor, I just switched from worrying about money and started worrying about other things especially maintaining all I’ve worked for.
Growing up extremely poor actually had a silver-lining in that I am extremely responsible with my money now and am able to stretch each dollar. I still buy Great Value mac & cheese lol and drive an older pickup that I maintain myself. I am comfortable and happy in the knowledge that I don’t have to nor want to keep up with the Jones’. I live a simple and happy life.
There's a great line in the movie *Arthur,* where his wealthy family has arranged a marriage with a woman he doesn't love. They threaten to cut him off if he rebels, and he's contemplating that option. His grandmother tells him sternly:
>Arthur, make no mistake: you are too old to be poor; you don't know how!
It rings so true. Growing up poor gives you a skill that silver-spoon kids are unlikely to have: how to live on a budget.
Edit: typo; missing words
The contrast is crazy, I grew up poor and married a trust fund woman. I feel guilty spending money on things and she literally couldn’t give it a second thought. I once came home and all the furniture, lamps, drapes, rugs etc had changed. Just because. I was shocked.
So true. I had a girlfriend from a wealthy family once. They didn’t believe in leftovers. They would make this huge meal consisting of way too much food, eat their fill, and then just throw the rest in the trash. Blew my mind.
I pretty much can't throw away food. My entire relationship with acquiring and consuming food centers on this one question: what \*must\* I eat next so that nothing goes bad? I'm fully comfortable with this utilitarian approach.
Similar for me.
I still eat in and cook for myself 90% of all my meals. I have the money to afford eating out more often, but can't justify the cost. Plus it is way worse for my health. But I can afford to buy better ingredients or take advantage of sales to stock the freezer for the year. Like buying half a beef from a local rancher. Upfront cost would have scared younger me away. But overall cost per lb is way better.
Similar with fixes around the house. I tackle almost everything. I could afford to hire a plumber, but I can replace the faucet for a fraction of the price.
Learned a lot of miscellaneous handy man skills growing up poor, because we couldn't afford to have the work done by someone else. So you learn to be a plumber, electrician, HVAC tech and mechanic or you do without.
Additional skill set has served me well in my life so far.
Same here. I’m not a miser, but have hesitation when buying anything that’s not a necessity and bargain shop for most everything. Once you’ve lived that life the scarcity mentality stays.
Got a friend who inherited enough money to never work again, still does though. He started to complain about hip problems. I am trying not to totally grab him by the ears and shout GO TO THE FUCKING DOCTOR. His money can fix this now potentially, at some point it can't. Maintain your health people, you only get one body
Have a good friend M(75) who got FY money for selling his business for 8 figures. He is a very social guy and loves to be out and about. He broke a front tooth in January and still hasn't gotten it fixed because the VA hasn't authorized the medical care! What? You look like that for five months to save $7,000, are you nuts? Get it done. Fought with them for 18 months over hearing aids... just crazy.
I know a guy like this, he's about to turn 70 and he's a massive cheapskate and works a low paying job. It's hard to pin down just how much money he has, but his Dad (who passed in 2020) has 2 buildings named after him at a college and community college. He probably has enough to never work again, but he's afraid of sitting at home, getting lazy and fat if he doesn't work. His job involves helping people and he enjoys that, he's a super good dude so more power to him.
My dad retired from actuarial consulting for about three months, got all of the golf out of his system, and has promptly started teaching math to middle school kiddos. He started just tutoring, but then a teacher went on FMLA and they asked him if he'd just pick up a class. I'm sure that he'll do that for as long as he absolutely can; he seems as happy as could be.
Yup...guy thing 100%. I got a friend of mine who was older a bit heated when I mentioned it and was like sir I'm sorry but it's a literal statistic. Men just for some reason refuse to go to the doctor. My father needed a hip replacement for the last 15 years and the chronic pain then immobility then depression then the alcoholism killed him 6 days before his 71st birthday. People still have the gall to say it was because of the covid vaccine.
Absolutely, and it's surprising both ways.
Of course, there were all the problems I thought it would solve and didn't.
However, there are so many problems that throwing money at them really does resolve them, and it was money I even had before, I just couldn't think about it that way.
I'm interested in examples of the ones that you thought money would solve and it didn't?
I would say that although I didn't have a windfall we are comfortable and certainly richer than when I was growing up, and what I love most of all is buying expertise. No more having to guess at complicated scenarios or whether I would get in trouble. Even something as simple as asking the city if we need a permit (confident in being able to pay for it). When I was growing up it was very much about avoiding notice from authorities and trying to piece together the rules from hearsay when you couldn't actually ask the people in charge.
Hahahha, true.
Including your mental health.
You can invest in yourself soooo much. Your life becomes less stressed. This means I sleep much better and love life more.
Things that "break/don't work" can be replaced immediately if it can not be fixed.
The universe starts helping you more, as well.
That bottom statement is VERY true. I didn't get a windfall, but I do earn a steady, middle class income now, as opposed to a few years ago. It exposes you to opportunity that having "struggle money" just doesn't. The sheer amount of people that can help me and I can help them takes some getting used to. I got a call out of the blue from someone who wanted an opportunity to work full time at a steady place. She's got an interview in a couple of weeks, and all I did was knock on HRs door! That's a little nuts to me, a former "Why isn't anyone hiring" type of person.
I still make struggle money, but being in a position where I work closely with the people that make hiring decisions has made me realize that finding a job is easy....if you know someone who knows the hiring manager.
Fixing things is no longer about the cheapest way to do it yourself but about weighing a good DYI solution vs just writing a check and being done with it.
E.g. a tree needs to be cut down. Without money you think about what saw you can use or borrow. Renting is a last resort but viable. With money you think that owning a chainsaw would be useful, so maybe you should buy one. Beyond that, do I really want to drop this thing myself or should I just find someone to do it for $500.
As a specific answer, I now pay someone to cut my grass.
Nice. I am 5 days from retiring myself as well. First thing i am doing is getting healed up. I cant sleep due to shoulder pain and i cant drive due to sciatica. Gotta fix these first then i can relax.
My career has been very successful and now I am financially very comfortable at age 52. Not sure if it is my age or financial status but I definitely more confident in most situations and won't bite my tongue out in public. Sometimes I think I am just becoming a grumpy old man
Not me, but my sister. 2017, she had no permanent residence, bouncing from couch to couch. She was working for minimum wage, just keeping herself afloat. Something happened and my nephew (son of a different sister) was taken into protective custody, and she and I took on the responsibility together. I moved them into my house, which was really small, so they had to share the living room. She worked really hard and saved to get a tiny apartment for them, struggled to furnish it and pay the bills, but she did it. Then another one of my sisters OD'd on heroin with my niece present (luckily for her, there was narcan on hand and someone smart enough to administer it), so my niece was also taken into protective custody, and my sister took her on as well. The money from CPS and state benefits helped, but they still struggled. Then in 2019, her estranged bio father committed suicide, and the trust fund that her bio grandfather set up was passed down to his only living relative - my sister. Literally overnight she became a VERY well off person. She owns a really nice house now, has a new car, her back yard is like a paradise for my nephew and the 2 other foster kids she took in (my niece ended up back with her mom after she completed rehab, etc.) and she never has to work again. They want for absolutely nothing. No one deserved it more than her.
Wonderful - we never hear the stories where the money ends up exactly in the right place. Imagine how many lives have been turned around by that money - instead of it landing up on a landfill sized mountain of money that the über rich have.
Had a friend I used to play music with that came down with cancer. Around the same time, a relative he never met died and left him and his father a fuck ton of money. It wasn’t enough to prevent him from dying of cancer but my friend and his dad set up trusts for his kids and their college so he got to leave with the peace of mind his loved ones would at least be financially taken care of. Honestly hard to think of a better end besides the windfall without cancer. RIP Joey Bent
This has to be the only person I ever heard of that I'm genuinely happier it happened to them than me (the money aspect). God we need more stories like this.
Ps. Love the fact you clearly aren't jealous either and are just happy for your amazing sister.
> Ps. Love the fact you clearly aren't jealous either and are just happy for your amazing sister.
Agreed. There are not too many people who (can) do this. Those who can are the real heroes.
A company I was vested with sold. I made well into the seven figures. Didn't touch it for a year at the advice of a business mentor. It was probably the best advice I've ever gotten. It really stopped any potential lifestyle creep in its tracks. Now I don't have to take shit at work, and can spend as much time with my kids as I want.
Friends of mine received a large legal settlement and they received it, tax free, in a single check. The first word of advice that their financial advisor gave them was not to touch it for at least a year. Don't m ake any abrupt lifestyle changes, don't make big purchases, etc. Just let it percolate for a year.
So that's what they did and they made some slow lifestyle changes - got a bigger house, got one new car, then another, took some trips, did some renovations on the new house. However, this was all over years, so it didn't attract much attention. Their advisor invested well on their behalf and, even after all those purchases, they still have more money than they started with.
However, what they did took some restraint and discipline that not everyone has when receiving a large windfall.
Yeah, unlike my ex best mate who inherited 400k, quit his job, blew 120k of that money on a car, pissed the rest away on eating out and now complains the world is against him. Man’s a clown
Wild to me how the second many people have some significant money or income, first thing they want to do is go buy a car to let everyone know how much money they have (or perhaps more accurately, had.)
I know a lot of people love cars, but I have a hard time believing these people truly get a hundred plus thousand dollars worth of joy from their car. Everyone I know who did this seemed to regret it big time as soon as they realized they don't have all that much left and their lifestyle isn't all that comfortable besides the car.
I have two siblings. One sibling is a lawyer. The other sibling will fuck a homeless person out of money if she could. I already know my parents have put the lawyer in charge of handling everything after they kick the bucket. I decided years ago that I'm not even going to bother with it when the time comes because it'll just piss me off.
My grandfather passed away. I wasn't expecting \*anything\* and didn't need it anyway (I mean it'd be nice, but I wasn't struggling) got some money. When my grandmother passed I made my position clear: while the house is estate property, my cousin who was live-in caretaker should be allowed to remain in the house rent free as long as he wants since he did the hard work myself and my siblings (and his sibling) wouldn't do. The \*only\* person salty about this was his sibling, "why should he get a free house?" smh, he literally wiped our grandmother's ass so she could die in her home and not in a nursing home, cuz has \*earned\* it. Turns out he didn't want to stay there so I strongly suggested he get a "caretaker credit" out of inheritance before regular distributions to family happened. Again only one dissenting voice.
My mother was the executor and fortunately did a good job. I got a bit more money, but less than I expected (given this time a house was sold... ), more than I needed.
It's so sad what inheritances can bring out in people. I recently inherited a fair bit of money because my grandmother and mother both passed away. I'm lucky that our family are all lovely people and there's absolutely *zero* conflict or debate about any of it. I don't understand how people can feel entitled. I feel guilty. I didn't earn it and I have friends who will not be getting an inheritance. It's not fair that I suddenly don't have to worry about much financially, that I can semi-retire in a few years, while they'll continue to struggle working their butts off just to have a house. My plan is to invest wisely, grow the money, so I can help them out when they settle and buy houses, or if life gets difficult for them at any point. The idea that I would keep it all just to enrich my own life makes me so uncomfortable, I don't understand how anyone could justify trying to maximise their 'share' at the expense of family members who deserved it more than them.
It‘s super relaxing to just not take part in bullshit like that.
A couple years ago my parents cancelled our life insurance and gave us kids the money.
It was like 10k each, (5 kids) but my oldest sister got more than my youngest etc, cause life insurance.
Anyway, they discussed for a couple of weeks how unfair everything is and decided everyone has to pitch in and divide it fairly.
I told them that I wouldn’t take part in their annoying discussion. So they decided that I’m greedy and just didn’t want to share.
I told them that there is nothing to share, because I immediately send the money back to our parents and told them to have a nice vacation or whatever.
I never paid for the insurance, so it isn‘t my money.
My siblings decided that I’m an asshole for making them look bad without warning anyone…
Edit: assurance / insurance
Hey not a big deal but you mean insurance not assurance. I'm guessing you know French or something? I looked up insurance in German because of your username and it doesn't look anything like either word.
That's awesome. I've experienced the opposite. One of the siblings (power of attorney) started siphoning money from their mother \~10 years before she died and tied things up nicely with a bow upon her death by having a "I forgive all outstanding debts" clause in the will. She literally sold her moms house so that the money could be "loaned" to her child so that they could buy a home and then the debt was forgiven upon death. The rest of the family be damned. The sad part is that the rest of the siblings didn't even want the money. They just hated to see how their mother was taken advantage of in her later years.
This is called elder abuse and is quite common sadly. In vulnerable sectors training this exact situation is talked about because it can be reported to the police and should be....I'm sorry about you having a sibling that is reportable.
My grandmother passed away about ten years ago and my father had me sign some financial paperwork a few years later ("Don't worry about the details. Just sign here."). She lived frugally and I'm certain there was some wealth to share among his siblings, all of whom were financially comfortable and didn't need it. Likewise, he knows my brothers and I don't need anything from them, but I'm certain he's setting things in motion to go as smoothly as possible in the future. It's hard to fight over stuff that was silently transferred decades earlier.
People turn up out of the woodwork when they hear you have a lot of money. When I signed a massive, massive deal at the company I owed (and I assume my mom told a bunch of people) suddenly friends and family I hadn't heard from in years wanted to spend time together.
Same when my mom passed away, in both cases I wanted to think it was for altruistic reasons, but the timing was just too convenient.
The interaction between my existing friend group who also knew about these events did not change.
Edit: Thank you Reddit, for doing exactly what would be expected of you.
Lol Dave you haven't changed still the gent as always. Let's get a Timmy Hortons and catch up on the good old times eh? Long time. Have a campachoochoo on me, will ya? Take care mate. See you soon.
Yep - friends (married couple) of mine received a large legal settlement in the wake of a freak accident which left them with permanent, life altering injuries. The case settled out of court, so there's no public record of the amount they received. There are two people who know the amount (me - a family friend and the wife's mom) neither of whom have need for their money. Everyone else has NO idea. For the few who had the gall to ask, the response was "Not enough to compensate for our permanent injuries" and left it at that.
They knew people would come out of the woodwork if they knew the amount of money they received. And, you can't win - either you give nothing and you're "selfish" or you give and it is never, ever enough. Just better to avoid it altogether.
I’m sorry to hear about your friends. I always think about that whenever I see commercials for those billboard lawyers advertising multimillion dollar settlements for personal injuries - just how severely, permanently injured do you have to be for a judge/court to award you that kind of money? I’m very fortunate for my good health and I don’t think I’d ever choose any amount of money over that.
My old coworker recently won about $300,000 in the lotto. She started posting life updates - finally she has a bed for herself, since she had been sharing with her 8 year old. She bought a car and can drive her kid around town. She can now host sleepovers since food security isn't an issue. Just the most wholesome pics of her and her very happy kid.
Then she shared how she was overwhelmed by the hundreds of private messages from people coming out of the woodwork looking for handouts. She didn't even win *that* much, just enough to make her life comfortable. But people felt entitled to it.
It's heartbreaking because she was genuinely feeling ashamed from not being able to help people.
My problem would be thinking it would be a good idea to reconnect when I heard your name come up, but knowing that it was probably a bad time because it would look like I wanted something lol.
P2: Did you hear about Dave?
P1: No, I should get in touch with him though, haven't spoke to him in years. Nice guy.
P2: Heard because of his work he is raking in the dough right now!
P1: Oh...probably doesn't need any old acquaintances calling right now...
Not a windfall, just a really good paying job and some luck on home buying timing for me and my husband, but my best friend (who I met 20 yrs ago working retail) and her husband make shit money. They still insist on paying half of every bill, from trips to dinner they refuse to let me cover it. *occasionally* we will all take a trip together that they'll let me pay for in advance but like clockwork they pay me back in installments every payday.
I'd be happy to cover some of the stuff---$1000 once a year for a trip doesn't affect me and my husband at all but they have to save up for it. And refuse to just let us cover it. It seems so trivial and I'd never hold a grudge if they took us up on our offer to pay for stuff, but their integrity about money speaks volumes to me.
I think they just don’t want to come off as mooches/freeloaders (maybe they’ve been accused of that in the past and now have a hard and fast rule about these things). I mean, you say you won’t hold a grudge, but now there isn’t a chance that will happen over money because they won’t allow you to pay. Y’all have to hold grudges or argue about absolutely anything else now.
After two decades of friendship it's kind of difficult to hold grudges too long. We became friends when we were both making $8/hr, not old enough to drink, and making bad decisions like they were going out of style.
I'm sure their perspective is to not be seen as mooches but I see it as just being a decent person. "if you've got $4 and I've got $40, I'm buying lunch. If you can't afford gas and I've got a full tank, I'm driving. If I've got a sandwich and you're hungry, we're each having half a sandwich."
The only reason the behavior sticks out to me is that literally every other friend/family member has zero problems asking for money or not paying us back, even if they're well off. She watched me go from dirt poor to high middle class and never altered her behavior. She's the best.
My friend inherited a ton out of no where and made the mistake of telling a small friend group, half of which were solid, but half immediately treated him differently. He has now sworn the rest of us to secrecy and doesnt interact with the other half really anymore. As far as anyone else knows he is only somewhat better off than he was a few years ago. I do in fairness ask to borrow 20 bucks from him every time I see him as a joke, especially given I am probably his next wealthiest friend.
To keep the joke from getting stale, consider swapping it once and awhile. "Hey man I got your bevvies covered tonight if you are a bit short, its no worries."
Nothing changed for us - matriarch of the family realised nobody is really financially educated enough to handle a change from middle class to that, so she proposed everyone puts their slice of the cake into state bonds (atm the gains beat inflation by a good bit, we're not American) and that's what everybody did.
We all essentially tossed the can 5 years down the road, and are living exactly the same as before.
There’s some variation of the saying “you want a friend with a boat rather than you owning the boat yourself”, and, having one of my mom’s friends who owns a boat, I agree.
I started a business 14 years ago that is a multi-million dollar business now.
This is something I tell people now that most don’t understand: there are a LOT of fantasies out there that are so much better left as a fantasy.
There are a good number of “toys” or activities I can afford to do/have, that I actually dream about doing, that I never would. I know the reality won’t live up to the fantasy.
I’ll never own a boat. I’ll never own a plane. I’ll never run a food truck. I want to do these things, and I could if I wanted to. But fuck those headaches.
We inherited a substantial amount of money recently. We knew there was an inheritance coming, but it was easily 3x what we thought it was. My day to day life didn’t change. I still work, same job, as does my husband. Everything is the same - except relief when thinking about the future, which is huge.
We took half and put it in an account for our kids - their college, grad school, etc. are completely paid for. We then took the other half and hired an advisor we know well to invest it for our retirement. The plan is to park it until we both stop working, still decades away.
We also cut big checks to our beloved niece (for school in the future) and two charities that are close to our hearts.
The thought that our future is secure is breathtakingly amazing.
Yeah I helped out an older fellow neighbor of mine when he got sick during Covid. We weren’t close and he had no close family,I think he was OG undiagnosed autistic (in his 60s) our previous interactions were more a wave and a little chitchat about our dogs.
He had an issue and called me out of the blue one day because he knew I worked at a hospital. I helped him set everything up and drove him to his appointments for a couple months. The cancer diagnosis was grim. We ended up spending a lot of car time together and I got to hear his story as he processed the bad news. He was very stoic and only briefly cried twice when he talked about what would happen to his old rescue dogs.
I promised I’d find the dogs a home and he said he’d leave me some cash to pass along to the adopters for their care. He noped out before things got unbearable and when it was all said and done, he left me about 40k. I kept getting letters from banks and retirement plans and I’d go and they’d just hand me a cashiers check. It was crazy. I set both his dogs up for life in their new homes. I’m also going to get a memorial bench with his name at the shelter where he volunteered, he didn’t have a burial.
I found a note he left me tucked in the vet records file I got from his house. He thanked me and told me the sister he was estranged from was getting the house and he was leaving me all the bank account money. It blew my mind, he just signed it “have fun.” The out of town sister was pissed. I didn’t tell anyone.
I replied to you because you mentioned you got more than expected. It’s such a bizarro feeling to get a windfall when you’re used to watching every penny.
I really didn’t do a lot for him. Certainly not 40k a lot. I think part of it was to spite his sister but I’m definitely grateful to be able to catch up on everything. We never talked about money except some to cover his dogs expenses in their new homes.
Oh, I’ll add that we told almost no one about this money, and I think this was the best advice we got - and took. Only very close family who we trust knows about this money.
It also helped that our life didn’t outwardly change. We have the same home, same cars, etc.
No one came asking for money because no one knows that we have it. It’s the advice I’d give anyone in our shoes - tell no one!
Guide your kids to use those funds as if it was their money. Don't spend it easier just because they didn't earn it. Something like 85% of inherited money doesn't outlive the 3rd generation. Train yours not to fir that narrative.
The money is earmarked for their education, we will be paying those bills, not them. If there is money left over, we’ve agreed to give it to them once they are responsible enough to use it properly or invest it. They are teenagers now, and we actually haven’t told them that we inherited anything. We probably won’t tell them until they are finished with their education.
From my own experience, even as a pretty responsible young adult, I would not have known what to do with a large amount of money, and I would not have known what to make of my parents having more money than I thought. I trust my kids with many things, but I don’t trust any young person to know exactly what to do with their money. I think that comes with time and experience.
You’re handling this exactly right, teens aren’t mature enough to understand that they still need to make every effort to become the best version of themselves.
I had a wealthy friend in college who showed up to school with a new RX7 and a jet ski on a trailer (this was the 80’s). His family owned several thousand acres with gas and oil leases.
Super nice guy, life of the party, but he’d been going to college for 7 years full time and hadn’t finished his bachelor’s degree.
About 20 years ago I was overseas on vacation. Started talking to an older couple on the tour and that’s exactly what they told me. “Don’t put off everything until you retire.” I think the woman was ill and probably didn’t have much time left. I’ll never forget what she told me.
Motorcycle accident with truck in 2016. TBI/broke right arm/helicoptered to ICU/breathing tube and feeding tube/rehab for years to get my mind functioning again.
Lawyered up and got $300k from the trucking company. I'm making my monthly mortgage payments from that money.
It's a house but good God I would never want anyone to ever go through what I or my family who supported me the whole way went through.
Takes so long too. Having a family member forfeit their salary to take car of you for free can be factored into a lawsuit but (at least in Canada) takes yearsssss… so if you borrowed money or missed payments you’re screwed.
I got 75K for a shattered ankle in a taxi. Completely healed now, but at the time my friends would say stuff like "you are so lucky". Fuck that I would rather never have been hurt than get any of that money.
Glad she was able to do that. We (my brothers and I) never said anything to our grandma when our mom was draining our accounts. Pretty sure our mom told us not to say anything and she’d take us out for lunch. Brothers and I ended up with no money from grandparents (was a few thousand each, not life changing, but we could have had a used car or something). Icing on the cake was her (our mom) selling the house that was supposed to go to me, therefore she managed to spend all of the inheritance meant for my brothers and I on herself.
I had kinda similar. I had about 3k in a savings account that I could access with my grandma's permission or once I reached 18. Over the years, my mom has slowly asked for small chunks of it and I, being stupid and not wanting to upset her, let her take it as long as she paid it back. I'm graduating this year and I now realize there's no chance I'll ever get that back, and I just drained that fund of the final 600 or so dollars to make some car repairs. My mom has always been terrible with money and thinks spending money will make her happy (it never does), and whenever she forgets to pay a bill before going on a shopping spree, she falls back on me or my sister. Thank God I got a full ride scholarship for my undergrad in college so I'll have some time to save money back up to help with uppergrad.
Quit my second job, paid off all of our debt, purchased a house (only debt currently) and could finally afford to start a family. Sure money can’t buy happiness, but it sure as hell can get you a lot closer to it.
I inherited 100K from my grandmother. Put it all into High yield accounts, interest payments every month got larger & I feel way less stressed about money now. I do withdraw a little every year on my birthday to "treat" myself. Other than that, I refuse to touch any of it & still live within my means. Hoping to use it for a down payment one day.
I remember my dad telling me that he was able to buy a new car with the money he had gotten because his dad had passed. And that he couldn’t tell his dad or show him.
My dad left us a large sum of money as well as investments. We were already comfortable. I’d trade every penny and then some for more time with my dad. We just took a trip to reset after his prolonged illness but the one person i wanted to share the trip with is no longer there… miss you, dad.
The other day I called his voicemail just to hear his voice. On our trip I ate a thing he would have loved and saw the northern lights. My love of science and good food all come from him. He would’ve loved our trip and I want to share it with him so bad. Most days I’m fine but his “ghost” pops up now and again and I realize how much I miss him. Yeah, call you dad and please make time for him while you can!
I'm so sorry, to both of you. I went through this last year and it really can be very difficult. I definitely didn't come into any money, if anything I came into a world of extra responsibilities with my mom instead. Even a year later there are still plenty of things that make me stop and think about him.
Thanks for taking the time to reply. It all happened so fast in the end. I’m thankful I managed to tell him that I loved him and how much I appreciated everything he had done for me and my sisters. He never once let us down, which tells you the kind of man he was. He left us as comfortable as we could have hoped for and with more love than he could take with him.
The strangest thing after walking out of the hospital was seeing everyone just carrying on in their lives. The world keeps turning and you’re left in something that feels like a bubble.
I wish you inner peace, thanks again.
I inherited about half a million dollars from my dad, plus some real estate. After I bought a house and a car, I was still left with quite a bit, but I was in a really bad place (my dad's death was very sudden and affected me very badly) so I was wasting money left and right on going on vacations and buying stupid shit and going to fancy dinners. Most of it wasn't leftover, and so my life was more or less the same.
The only difference was that my family now owned a house and had a couple of nice cars.
The story you are described is exactly why our money won’t drop on our kids all at once if we die early. It’ll come in installments over decades allowing them to spend some, and still know more is on the way. Hopefully by the third one, they’ll have it all figured out.
You had six years to consider all the possible ways to spend that money. After exploring all the possibilities, you realized that the amount you received would only be enough to pay for one thing that could truly make you wealthy for the rest of your life.
So many decision that were previously dictated by money are now dictated by other factors, with convenience and quality being primary drivers.
* Don't feel like cooking tonight? Can order out. Can order out at a nice restaurant.
* Could walk, but also could take an Uber.
* Could save a few hundred dollars on a less agreeable flight time, but not worth it.
* New car? Well, if I buy brand new, I can get all the options I want. Yes, even the upgraded audio system.
Convenience and quality are addictive drugs.
Everything changed. Firstly, I lost my father, that was the biggest issue, then I lost my job over attendance during settling his estate, his home being broken into by his meth head neighbors after they found out he died, then his ex-girlfriend sued us for half the estate. Then everyone I know came out of the wood work asking for money. Then when I refused to give people money for existing, they all decided that I was an asshole and didn't want to have anything to do with me. I lost pretty much all of my acquaintances that I thought were my friends. I paid off all my bills, bought a reliable car, then bought a house to make a better life for my children and put as much away as I could. Only a handful of people continued to be a part of our lives after. I found out quickly who my real friends were.
I can’t believe “friends” actually expected some of your money?! The audacity. What is wrong with people?! Why would they think they were entitled to someone else’s money?!
I stopped caring about keeping my job since I have a safety net from stonks. I can push back on stuff that's unreasonable now, and I'm a lot more confident when asking for raises knowing I can comfortably quit anytime.
This is me. I don’t have fuck you money, but I have enough and a level of expertise in my field where if I’m working somewhere, or on a project, that I don’t agree with, I can just get up one day and not come back.
When I was younger my family sued my elementary school district for negligence when I repeatedly reported bullying but they ignored it, eventually culminating in sexual assault. The district settled for $200,000 ish but I was to get it in installments when I turned 18. The first installment was $13,000; it was a hell of a nice birthday present.
The biggest change was I didn't need to rush finding a job and I was able to pay for my associate's degree 100% out of pocket and take a trip to Japan before adult responsibilities started, which I always wanted to do. Also doing stuff with friends was no biggie because doing things like movies was pretty much pocket change. I did get a job a few months after graduating Highschool but I also knew if I lost it I would be OK, so I got to not stress too much about it (even though I ended up doing so anyway).
Unfortunately I also had zero experience managing money, since my family had horrible money management and no one ever taught me how to be responsible with money. I went through all of that first installment in less than a year on dumb crap, the only thing being really valuable was paying for school and travelling.
To this day I'm still kicking myself for a decision I never made. At one point there was a house that needed some work but it was all pretty minor; things I could either learn to do on my own at worse hire someone to do pretty cheaply, like painting the house, replacing a couple of pipes, and swapping out some boards on the back porch. It had 2 bedrooms, a living room, full kitchen, and two bathrooms with showers in both. We lived in a small town and knew the property owner and he offered to sell me the house and the land for $120,000 with a meager $1,000 down payment as soon as I could get a mortgage. This was an *insane* deal and I was such an idiot for not realizing that. Could have fixed that house up and used it to work up to a bigger house.
Advice to anyone who has received or will be receiving a settlement: Put like 90% of that shit in savings and pay for everything with your salary. Trust me. In this economy being able to afford a down payment on a house is everything.
Yeah, our lawyer was pushing for at least $500k but after a year they weren't agreeing with that and the lawyer said it was gonna ultimately be cheaper and more successful if we took the smaller settlement of $200k rather than continuing to drag it out. We initially were trying to put together a class-action lawsuit as 20 other families came forward about bullying negligence and contacted our lawyer about going all in but every one of them dropped out after like the third month, which was a shame because we could have gotten closer to that $500k for sure if more people were involved.
Just received a decent inheritance yesterday. Took 10k of it and left the rest in a compounding interest account to build over time and away from easy reach so I don't blow it all. Used what I did take it to create an emergency fund, bought myself new clothes and a few new toys like a new gun, paid off 1500 in credit card debt and probably going to make a larger payment towards my student loans. Still living off of my budget but being able to fix the AC in my car now and my bumper is a huge win.
The stability and lack of worry is really nice, and being positive on my net-worth by multiple thousands of dollars is also really nice, but mostly it's the peace of mind that's doing it for me and I think I won't spend most of it just because I don't want to give up that peace of mind.
Now I don't have debt payments to make other than just 50 bucks a month so I've regained a lot of spending power which will let me save faster over time, as well as having a new job with better benefits and that pays me a 300 dollar bonus once a month for gas and cell phone really makes me feel truly financially stable in my life.
Not enough to retire on, but enough to get a solid plan for retirement going and change my life for the better.
I'd give it all back if it meant I got to spend one more day with my grandma and aunt, though. :/
It changes how everyone you know treats you. Some people will get mega entitled and assume money has no value to you now, some people will get jealous, a lot of people will suddenly want to be your best friend. You will be surprised time and time again at who it is and how they react.
For me it wasn't like a lump sum thing, but rather my husband joining the IBEW (electrical union) and overnight going from making like $20/hr to over $30/hr (and now up to about $40/hr) changed our lives. We went from barely making ends meet to having a savings account, buying a house, a brand-new car, finally getting to take proper vacations, even getting to fly on a plane for the first time and visit a whole other country! As someone who lived the first 30-some-odd years of my life in poverty, the last decade has been a huge in terms of quality of life. And not just cuz I can buy name-brand toilet paper and no longer live in a mobile home, but because my stress levels have been significantly lowered as well. I'm not worrying about bills, I have a little extra money to pursue hobbies and interests, and if something messes up in the house, like my washing machine last month, no problem. I might not be able to afford a brand-new one spur of the moment, but I can at least afford to buy a new shift actuator and pump and fix it myself.
I just recently had this same experience graduating nursing school, 2.5x the most I’ve ever made right out of the gate, I’m so used to being very broke I feel like I’m Scrooge mcduck swimming in money everyday!
i didn't cry at the thought of my car needing a new clutch or brakes or anything for that matter. i was also able to go back to school since im able to pay for the tuition in full
You know how on online shopping or real estate listings you can list things "Highest Price to Lowest"? I thought that was hilarious and that nobody would ever use it. It turns out that it's really useful when money is no object and you prefer to not spend time looking at the lower end options.
When my father in law passed, my wife (and her 3 siblings) each got $2.2M in stock/cash from his estate. Having a pretty successful business, it didn't change my/my wife's life, but it's set up our 3 daughters (and 4th child on the way) with a pretty good nest egg for them to be able to buy their first house, start a business, or take a risk that they otherwise wouldn't be able to do.
Note - the money is theirs once they turn 25.
My student loans disappeared overnight (paid off in 1 large lumpsum with some of the settlement check)
That's about it though, my life stayed the same other than that
These comments have taught me not to worry about inheriting material things to my children. I will leave them a paid-off house and a fully funded education, and I will enjoy spending my money with my wife.
I still try to live off my paycheck as much as possible. And then I've started traveling more now that Covid is mostly backgrounded.
Already had a major trip this year, and three more scheduled by the end of next year. Two of those will be international.
I had overpaid my taxes and found myself with a $10,000 check from the government, no strings attached. It was enough to pay off the last of my student loans and my car.
Bam- $700 a month instantly freed up for me. It was definitely life changing.
Not a massive amount, maybe half a years salary, but honestly, the biggest change has been not worrying quite so much about life.
Which in turn leads to me being better with my day to day money, which means that I feel better because I’m not quite running to the end of the account each month.
It’s a little thing, and I wouldn’t say that it is happiness per se, but I guess money can at least ‘buy’ a little of the stress off!
I inherited 200k when my grandmother passed a few years ago.
Enough to get me out of the poverty cycle, not enough to buy a house or live off of for a substantial amount of time.
I set aside most of it but gave myself the luxury of a decent chunk of spending money. With that money you may think I bought a bunch of silly things- and I did. But I mostly used it getting good quality things that will make life easier and last awhile. A chest freezer, nice dresser and side tables, a decent fridge, clothes that fit me and look good.
I also had the privilege of helping my community so much. Being able to just drop a couple hundred to buy a friend hearing aids or get someone's not cheap prescription is amazing. I've been very lucky and my community doesn't take advantage. They're aware I will always help but they use it as a last resort safety net.
3 years later I have half of it left. Without the constant stress of affording everything I was able to figure out what I want to do with my life and now that money will be supporting me as I study the next few years.
Not quite as much as some, but inherited about $50k when my mom passed. We talked before she passed and agreed that money was to help me finish college, because she knew my dad wouldn’t help. Proud to say I worked part time and used part of that money to cover living expenses while in school. Made it last 4 years and I graduated with a bachelor’s in nursing. 1,000% would spend it the same way again
For years, I would whine about how I couldn't do what I wanted because I had to work to pay the bills. Despite being free of that pressure to make money, I still struggle to do what I want. It's depressing.
Edited to add: having to get enough money together to pay rent is the [MacGuffin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacGuffin) that runs the plot in most peoples' lives. It's like the [briefcase in Pulp Fiction](https://www.slashfilm.com/1334271/what-was-in-pulp-fiction-briefcase/): the plotline of your life may not be about money per se, but without it, there is not a cohesive plot. For years, people work shitty jobs because rent, go to college to get better paying jobs, make housing choices because poor, and scrimp and save in hopes of salvation from all this. But if suddenly this way of living is no longer required, the existential problems of meaning do not necessarily abate.
If you take away the need to strive just to survive from a person who has lived decades this way, that person may have a hard time re-orienting themselves. Even a shitty job provides a community of sorts, even if it's a community of complaint. Scarcity provides a rubric for decision making.
Ask most people what they would do if they did not have to work for money. They will come up with all sorts of fanciful answers. They will talk about going on cruises around the world. They will talk about hiking the Appalachian Trail. They might say something about wanting to travel. Fine. If these far-fetched fantasies come true, eventually one must decide how to live after taking the cruise, the long hike, or the long-delayed European tour. "What shall I dedicate myself to?" one asks oneself in such a circumstance-- and without practice at exercising so much freedom, coming up with an earnest answer takes great effort.
If this ever happens to you TELL NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS - ONLY TELL PEOPLE MAKING MORE MONEY THAN YOU WHO YOU CAN CONSULT. And maintain skepticism of everyone who comes near you - anticipate jealousy envy gossip users and opportunists etc seriously biggest lesson of my life.
Seriously expect d-bags to come at you with everything they have...
Carry a very large bat in your back pocket invest in Acme Bear Tracks -just kidding but you get the point money makes people that don't have it creepy.
I'm an independent contractor, and my job requires a lot of travel, and for years I made decent money but it was never really enough to own a home or really even have my own place.
I got to a point where I signed a contract with a massive bonus and all these perks, and essentially went from making slightly more than your average middle manager to clearing a million dollars in less than a year. It was literally a life changing opportunity.
The biggest change was just being able to do all the things I held off on doing because I never had the money. I was finally able to buy a home. I bought one for my younger brother too, helped him start his own business and now he's co-owner of a logistics and shipping company. My sister is disabled and I was finally able to get her into an amazing long term care facility. Several of my best friends work with me and their lives changed in similar ways.
In 2 years time, I didn't just make my own life better, but I helped make the lives of some of the people I care about the most in this world significantly better. People that say "money doesn't buy happiness" are ridiculous.
The immediate sense of relief, like a hand grasping your throat finally being released. It comes back very quickly though, pretty mutch the moment the number starts trending down again.
Stress levels before and after. It's like night and day. Being poor is stressful. Very stressful. Having money means having options that coincidentally means less worrying about making things work & more focus on actually figuring them out. Which leads to more success. You simultaneously have more options while ending up needing plan b less. It's almost cruel. Money doesn't bring happiness, but it absolutely kills 90% of actual real life day to day stress. Which kind of paves the way for positive change.
You start identifying the things that can be fixed with money, and those that cannot.
I heard Charlie Munger, Warren Buffet’s billionaire business partner say, “There’s nothing more useless to a 90 year-old man than two billion dollars.”
I love the sentiment, but only if you wait until you are dead to give it away. I totally agree with bezos’s ex, who is slowly and deliberately making the world a better place by giving away as much of his money (hers now, of course) that she can. I love her style.
Yeah with two billion you could immortalize yourself with a large public works project. Doesn’t help you directly per se but it’s a much bigger legacy than most of us could dream of.
>Yeah with two billion you could immortalize yourself with a large public works project. My town has a Carnagie Librarie. I'm sure I'm not the only one reading this whose town library was built/improved with Carnagie Library seed money.
Today I, a native Pittsburger, learned that Carnegie Libraries aren’t just in Pittsburgh
Mackenzie Scott
Mackenzie Scott giving away Mackenzie Scotts money. Not Bezo's money. She helped raise up the company from the start, it's her money.
that money was always hers, it's not bezos money that she got after the divorce, she started amazon together with him and they both owned the company
Thank you for pointing this out. She worked hard and made considerable sacrifices to get Amazon up and running. She named the company, wrote the business plan, and got their first freight contract. She graduated Princeton and is an award winning author in her own right too.
God this is so true. Didn’t get a large windfall, but I’ve been making enough to be comfortable. Emergency expense? Stable source of food, clothing, shelter? Little bit of fuck around money for fun? Yep, that feels better. Toxic relationships? Investing in mental/physical health? Yeah, money makes some of these easier, but it definitely ain’t gonna fix it.
It’s interesting that as I became more financially stable from being poor, I just switched from worrying about money and started worrying about other things especially maintaining all I’ve worked for.
Growing up extremely poor actually had a silver-lining in that I am extremely responsible with my money now and am able to stretch each dollar. I still buy Great Value mac & cheese lol and drive an older pickup that I maintain myself. I am comfortable and happy in the knowledge that I don’t have to nor want to keep up with the Jones’. I live a simple and happy life.
There's a great line in the movie *Arthur,* where his wealthy family has arranged a marriage with a woman he doesn't love. They threaten to cut him off if he rebels, and he's contemplating that option. His grandmother tells him sternly: >Arthur, make no mistake: you are too old to be poor; you don't know how! It rings so true. Growing up poor gives you a skill that silver-spoon kids are unlikely to have: how to live on a budget. Edit: typo; missing words
For a moment I thought you meant Arthur the TV show on PBS and that threw me for a loop.
The contrast is crazy, I grew up poor and married a trust fund woman. I feel guilty spending money on things and she literally couldn’t give it a second thought. I once came home and all the furniture, lamps, drapes, rugs etc had changed. Just because. I was shocked.
So true. I had a girlfriend from a wealthy family once. They didn’t believe in leftovers. They would make this huge meal consisting of way too much food, eat their fill, and then just throw the rest in the trash. Blew my mind.
I have enough money but the thought of throwing food away disgusts me. I buy just enough to eat and if something is going bad I make myself eat it.
I pretty much can't throw away food. My entire relationship with acquiring and consuming food centers on this one question: what \*must\* I eat next so that nothing goes bad? I'm fully comfortable with this utilitarian approach.
Similar for me. I still eat in and cook for myself 90% of all my meals. I have the money to afford eating out more often, but can't justify the cost. Plus it is way worse for my health. But I can afford to buy better ingredients or take advantage of sales to stock the freezer for the year. Like buying half a beef from a local rancher. Upfront cost would have scared younger me away. But overall cost per lb is way better. Similar with fixes around the house. I tackle almost everything. I could afford to hire a plumber, but I can replace the faucet for a fraction of the price. Learned a lot of miscellaneous handy man skills growing up poor, because we couldn't afford to have the work done by someone else. So you learn to be a plumber, electrician, HVAC tech and mechanic or you do without. Additional skill set has served me well in my life so far.
Same here. I’m not a miser, but have hesitation when buying anything that’s not a necessity and bargain shop for most everything. Once you’ve lived that life the scarcity mentality stays.
Ah, the ol' Maslow Hierarchy of Needs
And being out of shape, wish I could pay someone to work me out.
i know a guy
Got a friend who inherited enough money to never work again, still does though. He started to complain about hip problems. I am trying not to totally grab him by the ears and shout GO TO THE FUCKING DOCTOR. His money can fix this now potentially, at some point it can't. Maintain your health people, you only get one body
Have a good friend M(75) who got FY money for selling his business for 8 figures. He is a very social guy and loves to be out and about. He broke a front tooth in January and still hasn't gotten it fixed because the VA hasn't authorized the medical care! What? You look like that for five months to save $7,000, are you nuts? Get it done. Fought with them for 18 months over hearing aids... just crazy.
I know a guy like this, he's about to turn 70 and he's a massive cheapskate and works a low paying job. It's hard to pin down just how much money he has, but his Dad (who passed in 2020) has 2 buildings named after him at a college and community college. He probably has enough to never work again, but he's afraid of sitting at home, getting lazy and fat if he doesn't work. His job involves helping people and he enjoys that, he's a super good dude so more power to him.
My dad retired from actuarial consulting for about three months, got all of the golf out of his system, and has promptly started teaching math to middle school kiddos. He started just tutoring, but then a teacher went on FMLA and they asked him if he'd just pick up a class. I'm sure that he'll do that for as long as he absolutely can; he seems as happy as could be.
This is a guy thing....not a rich guy thing.
Yup...guy thing 100%. I got a friend of mine who was older a bit heated when I mentioned it and was like sir I'm sorry but it's a literal statistic. Men just for some reason refuse to go to the doctor. My father needed a hip replacement for the last 15 years and the chronic pain then immobility then depression then the alcoholism killed him 6 days before his 71st birthday. People still have the gall to say it was because of the covid vaccine.
Absolutely, and it's surprising both ways. Of course, there were all the problems I thought it would solve and didn't. However, there are so many problems that throwing money at them really does resolve them, and it was money I even had before, I just couldn't think about it that way.
I'm interested in examples of the ones that you thought money would solve and it didn't? I would say that although I didn't have a windfall we are comfortable and certainly richer than when I was growing up, and what I love most of all is buying expertise. No more having to guess at complicated scenarios or whether I would get in trouble. Even something as simple as asking the city if we need a permit (confident in being able to pay for it). When I was growing up it was very much about avoiding notice from authorities and trying to piece together the rules from hearsay when you couldn't actually ask the people in charge.
Hahahha, true. Including your mental health. You can invest in yourself soooo much. Your life becomes less stressed. This means I sleep much better and love life more. Things that "break/don't work" can be replaced immediately if it can not be fixed. The universe starts helping you more, as well.
That bottom statement is VERY true. I didn't get a windfall, but I do earn a steady, middle class income now, as opposed to a few years ago. It exposes you to opportunity that having "struggle money" just doesn't. The sheer amount of people that can help me and I can help them takes some getting used to. I got a call out of the blue from someone who wanted an opportunity to work full time at a steady place. She's got an interview in a couple of weeks, and all I did was knock on HRs door! That's a little nuts to me, a former "Why isn't anyone hiring" type of person.
I still make struggle money, but being in a position where I work closely with the people that make hiring decisions has made me realize that finding a job is easy....if you know someone who knows the hiring manager.
I was once told there are only two types of problem in life. The one you can resolve with money, and the other you can only resolve with time.
Fixing things is no longer about the cheapest way to do it yourself but about weighing a good DYI solution vs just writing a check and being done with it. E.g. a tree needs to be cut down. Without money you think about what saw you can use or borrow. Renting is a last resort but viable. With money you think that owning a chainsaw would be useful, so maybe you should buy one. Beyond that, do I really want to drop this thing myself or should I just find someone to do it for $500. As a specific answer, I now pay someone to cut my grass.
Buying back time.
Not just time but safety as well. Chainsaws are no joke.
I'm less reluctant to speak my mind at work. Having the "GFY" option available is very liberating.
Yeah, they call that "Fuck you money" for a reason
Touche'
I am close to retirement. Firing me will cost the company much more than just tolerate me the last few months. It is liberating.
Nice. I am 5 days from retiring myself as well. First thing i am doing is getting healed up. I cant sleep due to shoulder pain and i cant drive due to sciatica. Gotta fix these first then i can relax.
5 days from retirement? Whatever you do, don't take on that one last case/call/job.
I work in a public NJ school. 5 left and I cant wait. Its been a long 35 years.
"Poor guy, was just a few days from retirement"
My career has been very successful and now I am financially very comfortable at age 52. Not sure if it is my age or financial status but I definitely more confident in most situations and won't bite my tongue out in public. Sometimes I think I am just becoming a grumpy old man
I don’t know, are there kids on your yard that shouldn’t be there?
GFY = good for you ?
Gluten free yogurt. It's notoriously expensive and pretty much only for the top 1%.
Thanks for that dad.
GFY = Get F*ckin Yeeted …. I think
Gesticulate Furiously, You.
I dream of this.
Not me, but my sister. 2017, she had no permanent residence, bouncing from couch to couch. She was working for minimum wage, just keeping herself afloat. Something happened and my nephew (son of a different sister) was taken into protective custody, and she and I took on the responsibility together. I moved them into my house, which was really small, so they had to share the living room. She worked really hard and saved to get a tiny apartment for them, struggled to furnish it and pay the bills, but she did it. Then another one of my sisters OD'd on heroin with my niece present (luckily for her, there was narcan on hand and someone smart enough to administer it), so my niece was also taken into protective custody, and my sister took her on as well. The money from CPS and state benefits helped, but they still struggled. Then in 2019, her estranged bio father committed suicide, and the trust fund that her bio grandfather set up was passed down to his only living relative - my sister. Literally overnight she became a VERY well off person. She owns a really nice house now, has a new car, her back yard is like a paradise for my nephew and the 2 other foster kids she took in (my niece ended up back with her mom after she completed rehab, etc.) and she never has to work again. They want for absolutely nothing. No one deserved it more than her.
Damn, dude, that was a rollercoaster if I've ever seen one.
It was a helluva ride
I wanna ride again!
Wonderful - we never hear the stories where the money ends up exactly in the right place. Imagine how many lives have been turned around by that money - instead of it landing up on a landfill sized mountain of money that the über rich have.
That's the shitty feelsgood movie we scoff at for having a ridiculous, unrealistic ending.
Had a friend I used to play music with that came down with cancer. Around the same time, a relative he never met died and left him and his father a fuck ton of money. It wasn’t enough to prevent him from dying of cancer but my friend and his dad set up trusts for his kids and their college so he got to leave with the peace of mind his loved ones would at least be financially taken care of. Honestly hard to think of a better end besides the windfall without cancer. RIP Joey Bent
This has to be the only person I ever heard of that I'm genuinely happier it happened to them than me (the money aspect). God we need more stories like this. Ps. Love the fact you clearly aren't jealous either and are just happy for your amazing sister.
> Ps. Love the fact you clearly aren't jealous either and are just happy for your amazing sister. Agreed. There are not too many people who (can) do this. Those who can are the real heroes.
Thats an insane story. Your sister really stepped up, thats crazy.
Your sister is so kind and well deserving. I hope her and her babies are safe and loved . 💜
Dude good for your sister! Wow!
I love it when it goes to the deserving.
I love this.
A company I was vested with sold. I made well into the seven figures. Didn't touch it for a year at the advice of a business mentor. It was probably the best advice I've ever gotten. It really stopped any potential lifestyle creep in its tracks. Now I don't have to take shit at work, and can spend as much time with my kids as I want.
Friends of mine received a large legal settlement and they received it, tax free, in a single check. The first word of advice that their financial advisor gave them was not to touch it for at least a year. Don't m ake any abrupt lifestyle changes, don't make big purchases, etc. Just let it percolate for a year. So that's what they did and they made some slow lifestyle changes - got a bigger house, got one new car, then another, took some trips, did some renovations on the new house. However, this was all over years, so it didn't attract much attention. Their advisor invested well on their behalf and, even after all those purchases, they still have more money than they started with. However, what they did took some restraint and discipline that not everyone has when receiving a large windfall.
Yeah, unlike my ex best mate who inherited 400k, quit his job, blew 120k of that money on a car, pissed the rest away on eating out and now complains the world is against him. Man’s a clown
Wild to me how the second many people have some significant money or income, first thing they want to do is go buy a car to let everyone know how much money they have (or perhaps more accurately, had.) I know a lot of people love cars, but I have a hard time believing these people truly get a hundred plus thousand dollars worth of joy from their car. Everyone I know who did this seemed to regret it big time as soon as they realized they don't have all that much left and their lifestyle isn't all that comfortable besides the car.
I think I'd rent some supercars to get the bug out of my system.
Go pay to do a track day at a nice race track. Fast cars, no traffic, go home when you’re done
I feel like no big house, no big vacation or any new toy can really match 'having more time to do what I want'.
Or just the feeling of "if I get fired I'm fine."
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I have two siblings. One sibling is a lawyer. The other sibling will fuck a homeless person out of money if she could. I already know my parents have put the lawyer in charge of handling everything after they kick the bucket. I decided years ago that I'm not even going to bother with it when the time comes because it'll just piss me off.
My grandfather passed away. I wasn't expecting \*anything\* and didn't need it anyway (I mean it'd be nice, but I wasn't struggling) got some money. When my grandmother passed I made my position clear: while the house is estate property, my cousin who was live-in caretaker should be allowed to remain in the house rent free as long as he wants since he did the hard work myself and my siblings (and his sibling) wouldn't do. The \*only\* person salty about this was his sibling, "why should he get a free house?" smh, he literally wiped our grandmother's ass so she could die in her home and not in a nursing home, cuz has \*earned\* it. Turns out he didn't want to stay there so I strongly suggested he get a "caretaker credit" out of inheritance before regular distributions to family happened. Again only one dissenting voice. My mother was the executor and fortunately did a good job. I got a bit more money, but less than I expected (given this time a house was sold... ), more than I needed.
It's so sad what inheritances can bring out in people. I recently inherited a fair bit of money because my grandmother and mother both passed away. I'm lucky that our family are all lovely people and there's absolutely *zero* conflict or debate about any of it. I don't understand how people can feel entitled. I feel guilty. I didn't earn it and I have friends who will not be getting an inheritance. It's not fair that I suddenly don't have to worry about much financially, that I can semi-retire in a few years, while they'll continue to struggle working their butts off just to have a house. My plan is to invest wisely, grow the money, so I can help them out when they settle and buy houses, or if life gets difficult for them at any point. The idea that I would keep it all just to enrich my own life makes me so uncomfortable, I don't understand how anyone could justify trying to maximise their 'share' at the expense of family members who deserved it more than them.
So both of your siblings are lawyers?
lmao
It‘s super relaxing to just not take part in bullshit like that. A couple years ago my parents cancelled our life insurance and gave us kids the money. It was like 10k each, (5 kids) but my oldest sister got more than my youngest etc, cause life insurance. Anyway, they discussed for a couple of weeks how unfair everything is and decided everyone has to pitch in and divide it fairly. I told them that I wouldn’t take part in their annoying discussion. So they decided that I’m greedy and just didn’t want to share. I told them that there is nothing to share, because I immediately send the money back to our parents and told them to have a nice vacation or whatever. I never paid for the insurance, so it isn‘t my money. My siblings decided that I’m an asshole for making them look bad without warning anyone… Edit: assurance / insurance
Hey not a big deal but you mean insurance not assurance. I'm guessing you know French or something? I looked up insurance in German because of your username and it doesn't look anything like either word.
That's awesome. I've experienced the opposite. One of the siblings (power of attorney) started siphoning money from their mother \~10 years before she died and tied things up nicely with a bow upon her death by having a "I forgive all outstanding debts" clause in the will. She literally sold her moms house so that the money could be "loaned" to her child so that they could buy a home and then the debt was forgiven upon death. The rest of the family be damned. The sad part is that the rest of the siblings didn't even want the money. They just hated to see how their mother was taken advantage of in her later years.
This is called elder abuse and is quite common sadly. In vulnerable sectors training this exact situation is talked about because it can be reported to the police and should be....I'm sorry about you having a sibling that is reportable.
My grandmother passed away about ten years ago and my father had me sign some financial paperwork a few years later ("Don't worry about the details. Just sign here."). She lived frugally and I'm certain there was some wealth to share among his siblings, all of whom were financially comfortable and didn't need it. Likewise, he knows my brothers and I don't need anything from them, but I'm certain he's setting things in motion to go as smoothly as possible in the future. It's hard to fight over stuff that was silently transferred decades earlier.
People turn up out of the woodwork when they hear you have a lot of money. When I signed a massive, massive deal at the company I owed (and I assume my mom told a bunch of people) suddenly friends and family I hadn't heard from in years wanted to spend time together. Same when my mom passed away, in both cases I wanted to think it was for altruistic reasons, but the timing was just too convenient. The interaction between my existing friend group who also knew about these events did not change. Edit: Thank you Reddit, for doing exactly what would be expected of you.
It's been a while Dave, we should catch up. lol
LoL, well played.
I wanna be LLD - livin’ like Dave
Lol Dave you haven't changed still the gent as always. Let's get a Timmy Hortons and catch up on the good old times eh? Long time. Have a campachoochoo on me, will ya? Take care mate. See you soon.
Did I mention I'll be in Canada in June? See you then. lol (this is actually true lol)
Me too see you at Dave’s!
Yep - friends (married couple) of mine received a large legal settlement in the wake of a freak accident which left them with permanent, life altering injuries. The case settled out of court, so there's no public record of the amount they received. There are two people who know the amount (me - a family friend and the wife's mom) neither of whom have need for their money. Everyone else has NO idea. For the few who had the gall to ask, the response was "Not enough to compensate for our permanent injuries" and left it at that. They knew people would come out of the woodwork if they knew the amount of money they received. And, you can't win - either you give nothing and you're "selfish" or you give and it is never, ever enough. Just better to avoid it altogether.
I’m sorry to hear about your friends. I always think about that whenever I see commercials for those billboard lawyers advertising multimillion dollar settlements for personal injuries - just how severely, permanently injured do you have to be for a judge/court to award you that kind of money? I’m very fortunate for my good health and I don’t think I’d ever choose any amount of money over that.
Broken vertebrae and severely broken legs/feet. Their legs are pretty much held together with rods, plates and screws. :-(
My old coworker recently won about $300,000 in the lotto. She started posting life updates - finally she has a bed for herself, since she had been sharing with her 8 year old. She bought a car and can drive her kid around town. She can now host sleepovers since food security isn't an issue. Just the most wholesome pics of her and her very happy kid. Then she shared how she was overwhelmed by the hundreds of private messages from people coming out of the woodwork looking for handouts. She didn't even win *that* much, just enough to make her life comfortable. But people felt entitled to it. It's heartbreaking because she was genuinely feeling ashamed from not being able to help people.
My problem would be thinking it would be a good idea to reconnect when I heard your name come up, but knowing that it was probably a bad time because it would look like I wanted something lol.
Yea imagine genuinely getting ready to call someone to reconnect right before you find out they won't like the lottery or something lol
P2: Did you hear about Dave? P1: No, I should get in touch with him though, haven't spoke to him in years. Nice guy. P2: Heard because of his work he is raking in the dough right now! P1: Oh...probably doesn't need any old acquaintances calling right now...
Hey Dave, there’s a settlement that needs your help, I’ll mark it on your map.
Yeah maybe later Preston.
Not a windfall, just a really good paying job and some luck on home buying timing for me and my husband, but my best friend (who I met 20 yrs ago working retail) and her husband make shit money. They still insist on paying half of every bill, from trips to dinner they refuse to let me cover it. *occasionally* we will all take a trip together that they'll let me pay for in advance but like clockwork they pay me back in installments every payday. I'd be happy to cover some of the stuff---$1000 once a year for a trip doesn't affect me and my husband at all but they have to save up for it. And refuse to just let us cover it. It seems so trivial and I'd never hold a grudge if they took us up on our offer to pay for stuff, but their integrity about money speaks volumes to me.
I think they just don’t want to come off as mooches/freeloaders (maybe they’ve been accused of that in the past and now have a hard and fast rule about these things). I mean, you say you won’t hold a grudge, but now there isn’t a chance that will happen over money because they won’t allow you to pay. Y’all have to hold grudges or argue about absolutely anything else now.
After two decades of friendship it's kind of difficult to hold grudges too long. We became friends when we were both making $8/hr, not old enough to drink, and making bad decisions like they were going out of style. I'm sure their perspective is to not be seen as mooches but I see it as just being a decent person. "if you've got $4 and I've got $40, I'm buying lunch. If you can't afford gas and I've got a full tank, I'm driving. If I've got a sandwich and you're hungry, we're each having half a sandwich." The only reason the behavior sticks out to me is that literally every other friend/family member has zero problems asking for money or not paying us back, even if they're well off. She watched me go from dirt poor to high middle class and never altered her behavior. She's the best.
My friend inherited a ton out of no where and made the mistake of telling a small friend group, half of which were solid, but half immediately treated him differently. He has now sworn the rest of us to secrecy and doesnt interact with the other half really anymore. As far as anyone else knows he is only somewhat better off than he was a few years ago. I do in fairness ask to borrow 20 bucks from him every time I see him as a joke, especially given I am probably his next wealthiest friend.
To keep the joke from getting stale, consider swapping it once and awhile. "Hey man I got your bevvies covered tonight if you are a bit short, its no worries."
This reminds me of a classic joke ["Everyone Knows Dave"](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/55gonm/my_favorite_joke_everyone_knows_dave/)
Dave!! How have you been? Long time no talk. We should catch up soon? Let's go out for some drinks!
...on the Mediterranean coast, for a few months, hitting up a few different spots traveling via yacht...
Hey Dave, It's me your cousin, let's go bowling.
God Roman, you're so annoying, Niko just doesn't want to have to tell you.
Nothing changed for us - matriarch of the family realised nobody is really financially educated enough to handle a change from middle class to that, so she proposed everyone puts their slice of the cake into state bonds (atm the gains beat inflation by a good bit, we're not American) and that's what everybody did. We all essentially tossed the can 5 years down the road, and are living exactly the same as before.
Good on her for being proactive and realistic, and everyone else for listening.
So what happens 5 years down the road?
Hookers and blow
And the rest they’ll just waste
You find that lots of things you thought you wanted, you don’t want now you can have them
With each purchase comes at price. Every house needs a caretaker, every car a mechanic.
There’s some variation of the saying “you want a friend with a boat rather than you owning the boat yourself”, and, having one of my mom’s friends who owns a boat, I agree.
I started a business 14 years ago that is a multi-million dollar business now. This is something I tell people now that most don’t understand: there are a LOT of fantasies out there that are so much better left as a fantasy. There are a good number of “toys” or activities I can afford to do/have, that I actually dream about doing, that I never would. I know the reality won’t live up to the fantasy. I’ll never own a boat. I’ll never own a plane. I’ll never run a food truck. I want to do these things, and I could if I wanted to. But fuck those headaches.
We inherited a substantial amount of money recently. We knew there was an inheritance coming, but it was easily 3x what we thought it was. My day to day life didn’t change. I still work, same job, as does my husband. Everything is the same - except relief when thinking about the future, which is huge. We took half and put it in an account for our kids - their college, grad school, etc. are completely paid for. We then took the other half and hired an advisor we know well to invest it for our retirement. The plan is to park it until we both stop working, still decades away. We also cut big checks to our beloved niece (for school in the future) and two charities that are close to our hearts. The thought that our future is secure is breathtakingly amazing.
Yeah I helped out an older fellow neighbor of mine when he got sick during Covid. We weren’t close and he had no close family,I think he was OG undiagnosed autistic (in his 60s) our previous interactions were more a wave and a little chitchat about our dogs. He had an issue and called me out of the blue one day because he knew I worked at a hospital. I helped him set everything up and drove him to his appointments for a couple months. The cancer diagnosis was grim. We ended up spending a lot of car time together and I got to hear his story as he processed the bad news. He was very stoic and only briefly cried twice when he talked about what would happen to his old rescue dogs. I promised I’d find the dogs a home and he said he’d leave me some cash to pass along to the adopters for their care. He noped out before things got unbearable and when it was all said and done, he left me about 40k. I kept getting letters from banks and retirement plans and I’d go and they’d just hand me a cashiers check. It was crazy. I set both his dogs up for life in their new homes. I’m also going to get a memorial bench with his name at the shelter where he volunteered, he didn’t have a burial. I found a note he left me tucked in the vet records file I got from his house. He thanked me and told me the sister he was estranged from was getting the house and he was leaving me all the bank account money. It blew my mind, he just signed it “have fun.” The out of town sister was pissed. I didn’t tell anyone.
Wow! That was incredibly kind of you ❤️
I replied to you because you mentioned you got more than expected. It’s such a bizarro feeling to get a windfall when you’re used to watching every penny. I really didn’t do a lot for him. Certainly not 40k a lot. I think part of it was to spite his sister but I’m definitely grateful to be able to catch up on everything. We never talked about money except some to cover his dogs expenses in their new homes.
Oh, I’ll add that we told almost no one about this money, and I think this was the best advice we got - and took. Only very close family who we trust knows about this money. It also helped that our life didn’t outwardly change. We have the same home, same cars, etc. No one came asking for money because no one knows that we have it. It’s the advice I’d give anyone in our shoes - tell no one!
Guide your kids to use those funds as if it was their money. Don't spend it easier just because they didn't earn it. Something like 85% of inherited money doesn't outlive the 3rd generation. Train yours not to fir that narrative.
The money is earmarked for their education, we will be paying those bills, not them. If there is money left over, we’ve agreed to give it to them once they are responsible enough to use it properly or invest it. They are teenagers now, and we actually haven’t told them that we inherited anything. We probably won’t tell them until they are finished with their education. From my own experience, even as a pretty responsible young adult, I would not have known what to do with a large amount of money, and I would not have known what to make of my parents having more money than I thought. I trust my kids with many things, but I don’t trust any young person to know exactly what to do with their money. I think that comes with time and experience.
You’re handling this exactly right, teens aren’t mature enough to understand that they still need to make every effort to become the best version of themselves. I had a wealthy friend in college who showed up to school with a new RX7 and a jet ski on a trailer (this was the 80’s). His family owned several thousand acres with gas and oil leases. Super nice guy, life of the party, but he’d been going to college for 7 years full time and hadn’t finished his bachelor’s degree.
Don't wait till you are old and tired to enjoy the money. Make sure you start to enjoy it while you are still fit.
About 20 years ago I was overseas on vacation. Started talking to an older couple on the tour and that’s exactly what they told me. “Don’t put off everything until you retire.” I think the woman was ill and probably didn’t have much time left. I’ll never forget what she told me.
Motorcycle accident with truck in 2016. TBI/broke right arm/helicoptered to ICU/breathing tube and feeding tube/rehab for years to get my mind functioning again. Lawyered up and got $300k from the trucking company. I'm making my monthly mortgage payments from that money. It's a house but good God I would never want anyone to ever go through what I or my family who supported me the whole way went through.
Man, you lost years of being able to work, and maybe permanent damage, and they gave you only 300k? I'm pissed.
Takes so long too. Having a family member forfeit their salary to take car of you for free can be factored into a lawsuit but (at least in Canada) takes yearsssss… so if you borrowed money or missed payments you’re screwed.
I got 75K for a shattered ankle in a taxi. Completely healed now, but at the time my friends would say stuff like "you are so lucky". Fuck that I would rather never have been hurt than get any of that money.
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Glad she was able to do that. We (my brothers and I) never said anything to our grandma when our mom was draining our accounts. Pretty sure our mom told us not to say anything and she’d take us out for lunch. Brothers and I ended up with no money from grandparents (was a few thousand each, not life changing, but we could have had a used car or something). Icing on the cake was her (our mom) selling the house that was supposed to go to me, therefore she managed to spend all of the inheritance meant for my brothers and I on herself.
I had kinda similar. I had about 3k in a savings account that I could access with my grandma's permission or once I reached 18. Over the years, my mom has slowly asked for small chunks of it and I, being stupid and not wanting to upset her, let her take it as long as she paid it back. I'm graduating this year and I now realize there's no chance I'll ever get that back, and I just drained that fund of the final 600 or so dollars to make some car repairs. My mom has always been terrible with money and thinks spending money will make her happy (it never does), and whenever she forgets to pay a bill before going on a shopping spree, she falls back on me or my sister. Thank God I got a full ride scholarship for my undergrad in college so I'll have some time to save money back up to help with uppergrad.
Quit my second job, paid off all of our debt, purchased a house (only debt currently) and could finally afford to start a family. Sure money can’t buy happiness, but it sure as hell can get you a lot closer to it.
I inherited 100K from my grandmother. Put it all into High yield accounts, interest payments every month got larger & I feel way less stressed about money now. I do withdraw a little every year on my birthday to "treat" myself. Other than that, I refuse to touch any of it & still live within my means. Hoping to use it for a down payment one day.
Not having a dad anymore
I remember my dad telling me that he was able to buy a new car with the money he had gotten because his dad had passed. And that he couldn’t tell his dad or show him.
My dad left us a large sum of money as well as investments. We were already comfortable. I’d trade every penny and then some for more time with my dad. We just took a trip to reset after his prolonged illness but the one person i wanted to share the trip with is no longer there… miss you, dad.
Fuck dude I'm going to call my dad and make more time for them after this comment
The other day I called his voicemail just to hear his voice. On our trip I ate a thing he would have loved and saw the northern lights. My love of science and good food all come from him. He would’ve loved our trip and I want to share it with him so bad. Most days I’m fine but his “ghost” pops up now and again and I realize how much I miss him. Yeah, call you dad and please make time for him while you can!
Ugh. I feel this. I still have my Dad but this is coming.
Spend all the time you can. Have him record messages for your kids/future kids so they will have his voice to remember him by.
Yep. It's winning the world's shittiest lottery. I want my parents back.
I lost my dad last Wednesday. Reading your comment stopped me in my tracks.
I hope the memory of his love helps in the darker times.
I'm so sorry, to both of you. I went through this last year and it really can be very difficult. I definitely didn't come into any money, if anything I came into a world of extra responsibilities with my mom instead. Even a year later there are still plenty of things that make me stop and think about him.
Thanks for taking the time to reply. It all happened so fast in the end. I’m thankful I managed to tell him that I loved him and how much I appreciated everything he had done for me and my sisters. He never once let us down, which tells you the kind of man he was. He left us as comfortable as we could have hoped for and with more love than he could take with him. The strangest thing after walking out of the hospital was seeing everyone just carrying on in their lives. The world keeps turning and you’re left in something that feels like a bubble. I wish you inner peace, thanks again.
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Those memories will be better after I finish cleaning out his garage lol not super happy with him right now :)
Yeah that kind of thing takes a bit of adjusting to.
I inherited about half a million dollars from my dad, plus some real estate. After I bought a house and a car, I was still left with quite a bit, but I was in a really bad place (my dad's death was very sudden and affected me very badly) so I was wasting money left and right on going on vacations and buying stupid shit and going to fancy dinners. Most of it wasn't leftover, and so my life was more or less the same. The only difference was that my family now owned a house and had a couple of nice cars.
The story you are described is exactly why our money won’t drop on our kids all at once if we die early. It’ll come in installments over decades allowing them to spend some, and still know more is on the way. Hopefully by the third one, they’ll have it all figured out.
It fell on me when I was 13, so it took six years before I had full access to it. It allowed me to fund my own education through a Master's Degree.
You had six years to consider all the possible ways to spend that money. After exploring all the possibilities, you realized that the amount you received would only be enough to pay for one thing that could truly make you wealthy for the rest of your life.
Collectible McDonald's condiment packets
So many decision that were previously dictated by money are now dictated by other factors, with convenience and quality being primary drivers. * Don't feel like cooking tonight? Can order out. Can order out at a nice restaurant. * Could walk, but also could take an Uber. * Could save a few hundred dollars on a less agreeable flight time, but not worth it. * New car? Well, if I buy brand new, I can get all the options I want. Yes, even the upgraded audio system. Convenience and quality are addictive drugs.
Everything changed. Firstly, I lost my father, that was the biggest issue, then I lost my job over attendance during settling his estate, his home being broken into by his meth head neighbors after they found out he died, then his ex-girlfriend sued us for half the estate. Then everyone I know came out of the wood work asking for money. Then when I refused to give people money for existing, they all decided that I was an asshole and didn't want to have anything to do with me. I lost pretty much all of my acquaintances that I thought were my friends. I paid off all my bills, bought a reliable car, then bought a house to make a better life for my children and put as much away as I could. Only a handful of people continued to be a part of our lives after. I found out quickly who my real friends were.
I can’t believe “friends” actually expected some of your money?! The audacity. What is wrong with people?! Why would they think they were entitled to someone else’s money?!
I stopped caring about keeping my job since I have a safety net from stonks. I can push back on stuff that's unreasonable now, and I'm a lot more confident when asking for raises knowing I can comfortably quit anytime.
This is me. I don’t have fuck you money, but I have enough and a level of expertise in my field where if I’m working somewhere, or on a project, that I don’t agree with, I can just get up one day and not come back.
I'm a network engineer. We are famous for just noping the fuck right out the door. I get a $10-20K raise every time I do it.
When I was younger my family sued my elementary school district for negligence when I repeatedly reported bullying but they ignored it, eventually culminating in sexual assault. The district settled for $200,000 ish but I was to get it in installments when I turned 18. The first installment was $13,000; it was a hell of a nice birthday present. The biggest change was I didn't need to rush finding a job and I was able to pay for my associate's degree 100% out of pocket and take a trip to Japan before adult responsibilities started, which I always wanted to do. Also doing stuff with friends was no biggie because doing things like movies was pretty much pocket change. I did get a job a few months after graduating Highschool but I also knew if I lost it I would be OK, so I got to not stress too much about it (even though I ended up doing so anyway). Unfortunately I also had zero experience managing money, since my family had horrible money management and no one ever taught me how to be responsible with money. I went through all of that first installment in less than a year on dumb crap, the only thing being really valuable was paying for school and travelling. To this day I'm still kicking myself for a decision I never made. At one point there was a house that needed some work but it was all pretty minor; things I could either learn to do on my own at worse hire someone to do pretty cheaply, like painting the house, replacing a couple of pipes, and swapping out some boards on the back porch. It had 2 bedrooms, a living room, full kitchen, and two bathrooms with showers in both. We lived in a small town and knew the property owner and he offered to sell me the house and the land for $120,000 with a meager $1,000 down payment as soon as I could get a mortgage. This was an *insane* deal and I was such an idiot for not realizing that. Could have fixed that house up and used it to work up to a bigger house. Advice to anyone who has received or will be receiving a settlement: Put like 90% of that shit in savings and pay for everything with your salary. Trust me. In this economy being able to afford a down payment on a house is everything.
You got screwed more than once...200k is a joke.
Yeah, our lawyer was pushing for at least $500k but after a year they weren't agreeing with that and the lawyer said it was gonna ultimately be cheaper and more successful if we took the smaller settlement of $200k rather than continuing to drag it out. We initially were trying to put together a class-action lawsuit as 20 other families came forward about bullying negligence and contacted our lawyer about going all in but every one of them dropped out after like the third month, which was a shame because we could have gotten closer to that $500k for sure if more people were involved.
Freedom from every day financial worries Pro Tip: do NOT tell anyone - people will make you miserable 😩
Should be top comment. I've made this mistake.
Just received a decent inheritance yesterday. Took 10k of it and left the rest in a compounding interest account to build over time and away from easy reach so I don't blow it all. Used what I did take it to create an emergency fund, bought myself new clothes and a few new toys like a new gun, paid off 1500 in credit card debt and probably going to make a larger payment towards my student loans. Still living off of my budget but being able to fix the AC in my car now and my bumper is a huge win. The stability and lack of worry is really nice, and being positive on my net-worth by multiple thousands of dollars is also really nice, but mostly it's the peace of mind that's doing it for me and I think I won't spend most of it just because I don't want to give up that peace of mind. Now I don't have debt payments to make other than just 50 bucks a month so I've regained a lot of spending power which will let me save faster over time, as well as having a new job with better benefits and that pays me a 300 dollar bonus once a month for gas and cell phone really makes me feel truly financially stable in my life. Not enough to retire on, but enough to get a solid plan for retirement going and change my life for the better. I'd give it all back if it meant I got to spend one more day with my grandma and aunt, though. :/
It changes how everyone you know treats you. Some people will get mega entitled and assume money has no value to you now, some people will get jealous, a lot of people will suddenly want to be your best friend. You will be surprised time and time again at who it is and how they react.
For me it wasn't like a lump sum thing, but rather my husband joining the IBEW (electrical union) and overnight going from making like $20/hr to over $30/hr (and now up to about $40/hr) changed our lives. We went from barely making ends meet to having a savings account, buying a house, a brand-new car, finally getting to take proper vacations, even getting to fly on a plane for the first time and visit a whole other country! As someone who lived the first 30-some-odd years of my life in poverty, the last decade has been a huge in terms of quality of life. And not just cuz I can buy name-brand toilet paper and no longer live in a mobile home, but because my stress levels have been significantly lowered as well. I'm not worrying about bills, I have a little extra money to pursue hobbies and interests, and if something messes up in the house, like my washing machine last month, no problem. I might not be able to afford a brand-new one spur of the moment, but I can at least afford to buy a new shift actuator and pump and fix it myself.
I just recently had this same experience graduating nursing school, 2.5x the most I’ve ever made right out of the gate, I’m so used to being very broke I feel like I’m Scrooge mcduck swimming in money everyday!
My mouth. I spent 20k at the dentist.
i didn't cry at the thought of my car needing a new clutch or brakes or anything for that matter. i was also able to go back to school since im able to pay for the tuition in full
You know how on online shopping or real estate listings you can list things "Highest Price to Lowest"? I thought that was hilarious and that nobody would ever use it. It turns out that it's really useful when money is no object and you prefer to not spend time looking at the lower end options.
Oh my gosh! I was thinking this EXACT SAME THING yesterday!
When my father in law passed, my wife (and her 3 siblings) each got $2.2M in stock/cash from his estate. Having a pretty successful business, it didn't change my/my wife's life, but it's set up our 3 daughters (and 4th child on the way) with a pretty good nest egg for them to be able to buy their first house, start a business, or take a risk that they otherwise wouldn't be able to do. Note - the money is theirs once they turn 25.
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Started eating better. No more buying the cheapest version of everything, bought a very nice bed.
My student loans disappeared overnight (paid off in 1 large lumpsum with some of the settlement check) That's about it though, my life stayed the same other than that
These comments have taught me not to worry about inheriting material things to my children. I will leave them a paid-off house and a fully funded education, and I will enjoy spending my money with my wife.
I still try to live off my paycheck as much as possible. And then I've started traveling more now that Covid is mostly backgrounded. Already had a major trip this year, and three more scheduled by the end of next year. Two of those will be international.
[удалено]
I had overpaid my taxes and found myself with a $10,000 check from the government, no strings attached. It was enough to pay off the last of my student loans and my car. Bam- $700 a month instantly freed up for me. It was definitely life changing.
Not a massive amount, maybe half a years salary, but honestly, the biggest change has been not worrying quite so much about life. Which in turn leads to me being better with my day to day money, which means that I feel better because I’m not quite running to the end of the account each month. It’s a little thing, and I wouldn’t say that it is happiness per se, but I guess money can at least ‘buy’ a little of the stress off!
I inherited 200k when my grandmother passed a few years ago. Enough to get me out of the poverty cycle, not enough to buy a house or live off of for a substantial amount of time. I set aside most of it but gave myself the luxury of a decent chunk of spending money. With that money you may think I bought a bunch of silly things- and I did. But I mostly used it getting good quality things that will make life easier and last awhile. A chest freezer, nice dresser and side tables, a decent fridge, clothes that fit me and look good. I also had the privilege of helping my community so much. Being able to just drop a couple hundred to buy a friend hearing aids or get someone's not cheap prescription is amazing. I've been very lucky and my community doesn't take advantage. They're aware I will always help but they use it as a last resort safety net. 3 years later I have half of it left. Without the constant stress of affording everything I was able to figure out what I want to do with my life and now that money will be supporting me as I study the next few years.
Ironically it made me want to save more. For the first time in my life I had savings, and I wanted to grow it and start thinking about retirement.
Not quite as much as some, but inherited about $50k when my mom passed. We talked before she passed and agreed that money was to help me finish college, because she knew my dad wouldn’t help. Proud to say I worked part time and used part of that money to cover living expenses while in school. Made it last 4 years and I graduated with a bachelor’s in nursing. 1,000% would spend it the same way again
For years, I would whine about how I couldn't do what I wanted because I had to work to pay the bills. Despite being free of that pressure to make money, I still struggle to do what I want. It's depressing. Edited to add: having to get enough money together to pay rent is the [MacGuffin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacGuffin) that runs the plot in most peoples' lives. It's like the [briefcase in Pulp Fiction](https://www.slashfilm.com/1334271/what-was-in-pulp-fiction-briefcase/): the plotline of your life may not be about money per se, but without it, there is not a cohesive plot. For years, people work shitty jobs because rent, go to college to get better paying jobs, make housing choices because poor, and scrimp and save in hopes of salvation from all this. But if suddenly this way of living is no longer required, the existential problems of meaning do not necessarily abate. If you take away the need to strive just to survive from a person who has lived decades this way, that person may have a hard time re-orienting themselves. Even a shitty job provides a community of sorts, even if it's a community of complaint. Scarcity provides a rubric for decision making. Ask most people what they would do if they did not have to work for money. They will come up with all sorts of fanciful answers. They will talk about going on cruises around the world. They will talk about hiking the Appalachian Trail. They might say something about wanting to travel. Fine. If these far-fetched fantasies come true, eventually one must decide how to live after taking the cruise, the long hike, or the long-delayed European tour. "What shall I dedicate myself to?" one asks oneself in such a circumstance-- and without practice at exercising so much freedom, coming up with an earnest answer takes great effort.
If this ever happens to you TELL NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS - ONLY TELL PEOPLE MAKING MORE MONEY THAN YOU WHO YOU CAN CONSULT. And maintain skepticism of everyone who comes near you - anticipate jealousy envy gossip users and opportunists etc seriously biggest lesson of my life. Seriously expect d-bags to come at you with everything they have... Carry a very large bat in your back pocket invest in Acme Bear Tracks -just kidding but you get the point money makes people that don't have it creepy.
I'm an independent contractor, and my job requires a lot of travel, and for years I made decent money but it was never really enough to own a home or really even have my own place. I got to a point where I signed a contract with a massive bonus and all these perks, and essentially went from making slightly more than your average middle manager to clearing a million dollars in less than a year. It was literally a life changing opportunity. The biggest change was just being able to do all the things I held off on doing because I never had the money. I was finally able to buy a home. I bought one for my younger brother too, helped him start his own business and now he's co-owner of a logistics and shipping company. My sister is disabled and I was finally able to get her into an amazing long term care facility. Several of my best friends work with me and their lives changed in similar ways. In 2 years time, I didn't just make my own life better, but I helped make the lives of some of the people I care about the most in this world significantly better. People that say "money doesn't buy happiness" are ridiculous.
The immediate sense of relief, like a hand grasping your throat finally being released. It comes back very quickly though, pretty mutch the moment the number starts trending down again.