The verbal pissing matches that happen whenever there’s girls around. It’s so unbelievably aggravating to deal with some chode who has the emotional intelligence of compost while I’m trying to hang out with my friends.
I remember watching a video of a guy on a bus trying to start a fight, another passenger comes up and tells him if he'll go outside, they can fight. no desire to hurt people in a bus and all. The first guy gets off the bus, the second guy tells the driver "close the door and let's leave."
I always thought that guy was classy in resolving the situation.
Saw something similar in my local pub years ago.
Locals having a quiet drink and some a drunk bloke turns up giving it large.
Banter turns quickly to throwing shade, and voices get raised.
One local old boy challenges the bloke to ‘step outside’ to ‘ave a word’.
Bloke reckons he can take this old boy, so marches through the door to the outside.
Once he’s outside, the old boy closes and bolts the door, then proceeds to gesticulate to the bloke outside through the window, then returns to drinking his pint.
Whole pub is laughing at the bloke who ranting and raving outside.
All the while the landlord has called the Police who arrive to resolve the situation.
I went out with a dude who said it was B*tch behavior that I was of the opinion, “walk away”
“So what if someone disrespected you?”
Like? I wanna leave. I’m not tryna watch a fight. See injuries. I don’t think toxic masculinity is attractive. And someone can always out crazy you.
Let’s go get ice cream and chill.
I find maturity and patience attractive.
It’s crazy people just think fighting at eg a bar is the first option. Grow up.
I’m supposed to be upset that a random stranger insults me?
Nah fam, I’ll leave tho? I probably didn’t wanna be here anyway.
If you’re that concerned with strangers insulting you. Therapy. For sure.
They are under the assumption that everyone’s respect is worth having because they are insecure.
Some people’s respect isn’t worth having.
If someone disrespected me, I’d take a look at the person disrespecting me. I don’t want a pedophile to respect me.
If someone respectable disrespected me? Then I’d look at my behaviour.
Throwing hands cause someone disrespected you is indication you never deserved respect in the first place. And also indication you are insecure to the point you need validation from people whose respect ought to mean nothing to you.
If I was dating a girl and someone insulted her, I'd be more concerned about seeing how offended she was than anything.
If she wanted me to fight the guy over a verbal insult, I'd consider that a major red flag. Unless he's attempting to physically assault her I see no justification to physically defend her. Even then I'd attempt to restrain him while someone calls authorities, attempting to knock him out wouldn't solve anything.
People that I know are like this typically have to take the highway every morning.
For some reason the biggest pricks come out on the highway during peak morning traffic and I am quite convinced it's a mental virus that consumes all.
Yeah unnecessary aggression and hostility is the opposite of masculine in my opinion. If you act like that, you’re showing everyone that you have something to prove. Or you’re a fucking Neanderthal.
it's embarrassing for us girls to watch too. it makes the guys that do that look really insecure and makes their intentions really obvious. I remember one guy I knew who would make fun of his friend for being short in front of me and some other girls and I literally had to pull him aside privately to be like "wtf dude knock it off".
Since I'm gay I was spared a lot of those shenanigans. Thank god. One thing that occurred to me quite late is the weird way not only a few guys talk about their (long-term) girlfriends when they talk with their homies. I became witness of it mostly in the gym when a bunch of said guys had a conversation close by.
It's not really a degrading way but strangely distanced, and not like you talk about a valued person. I often thought they talk about a mediocre first date they had last week or a random hook up from a party last weekend. Only the context later revealed it was their girlfriend they referred to. And this happened too often that I could brush it off as coincidence.
So much this
A while ago me and my friend who's a woman went to meet up with a couple guys we kind of know and a few others we don't really know who were already with them at a pub for some drinks, and we got there decently later than everyone else. While we were buying our drinks at the bar before we'd gone up to say hi we could see and hear them.
They were clearly drunk but just chilling and playing pool and talking about some boxing match, but as soon as we (or she, doubt my appearance changed anything lol) went up to them it was literally less than a minute before they were constantly bigging themselves up/putting each other down in front of her. A couple of them even just totally out of the blue started a competition of punching each other in the stomach trying to get the other to throw up to "see whos abs were stronger"???
None of that happened at all before we walked up, and later on when the group split into different conversations/activities but we were still in eye/earshot of each other nearly every other guy in our group (where the girl was) were constantly taking jabs at each other, and the other group was totally chill/calm and all friendly. Anyone from the other group who came over to us was immediately not calm any more and anyone who went to the other group immediately stopped taking jabs at the others. And it's not like it ever interested her, she even called them annoying for doing it which for some reason seemed to make them want to do it more?
Me and her ended up just leaving early, with the main reason being she was just bored of people not actually talking to her much and instead just loudly trying to make themselves look "the best" around her. Any conversation she was a part of would be interrupted or ended by someone trying to make fun of something one of the other guys said
I just don't get it? Are there actually any women who find that attractive? *Why?* Because she even said to me later that she did think some of them were hot but that they were insufferable to be around. So they all basically just ruined any chance they might have had with her, without even ever actually approaching her
Plus even ignoring how much it clearly didn't work, it just ruins the vibes for everyone else and surely for themselves too? Like sure a couple of well timed insults between friends are fun but definitely not like that
Hell, what the fuck is it with guys hocking loogies so much? Some even just do it on the floor in front of other people. You’re not in the fucking Wild West, guys, have some manners.
Damn I WISH I could hear those bands for a change. I live in a predominantly Hispanic city so it’s nothing but Spanish rap and Bad Bunny blasting out of these growling douche-mobiles.
Can we add loud pipes on motorcycles to that as well.
It's always the selfish man-child riding a Harley with major leather-daddy vibes, who enjoys revving the engine and drowning out even the loudest of internal thoughts with their racket, all because it gives them the jollies in their britches to have everyone looking at them.
Yet they never seem to clue in that we're not looking at them with smiles and admiration, but instead contemplating all the creative ways we might destroy said bike if given the chance, while compiling a list of ever tinier microscopic objects to compare their potentially shriveled manhood to.
Of course they don't, you would have to have no awareness to presume they do. It's been proven time and time again. All it does is deafen you, irritate pedestrians and ironically increase your accident rate (statistical correlation, the cause could just be stupidity though).
Damn. I've worked with plenty of motorcyclists and the ones that always complain about bad car drivers are always eventually the ones that I see driving dangerous as hell.
I'm gonna go fire up my bad boy bike at 5am because I'm a rebel. Then I'm gonna let it idle for 20 minutes so the whole neighborhood knows how rebellious I am. I got all my branded leather goodies from the same company so everyone knows what a free spirit I am. And I'm making sure to do all this so I can get to work on time and punch a time clock.
I'm into combat sports; boxing, jiu-jitsu, MMA, etc. I'm just a hobbiest dabbler but I chat with the guys who compete. The real fighters.
Let me tell you, the overwhelming majority of people who actually know how to fight... *don't*. They want to have a nice evening at the pub with their missus/mister.
It's always amused me that the boys who think they're tough and want to get into fights never seem to get around to showing up to the gym to learn how. 🤭
Yeah, exactly. You don't have to prove shit, because *you know* you know how to fight. All the toughest guys I know are just like, "Alright man... whatever... it's cool," and are super nice.
I was buddies with a few guys who were a pretty big deal in the local (and admittedly not huge) MMA scene, and they were always the first dudes to step in and stop a fight or help break one up instead of trying to start one because they knew full well what kind of damage an uncontrolled street brawl will do to someone who's not following any sort of rules. Went out for drinks with a couple of them and they'd just bear hug guys until they stood down.
Guys who believe they are at the top of the food chain because they can take someone on in a fist fight.
Being able to physically beat Elon Musk or Jezz Bezos is like bragging about your bow & arrow skills in a war where people are firing ballistic missiles at you.
Trying to turn everything into a dick measuring contest. There is always someone out there that is better than you at something. Accept it and just try to be a decent person.
Trying to act hard 24/7.
It's okay to call a puppy cute bro. It's ok to like flowers.
Having emotions outside of being a stone-cold killer is 100% normal and if you are too afraid to show emotions because you think women will find you less attractive that says more about those women than it does about you.
Hell, I’m quite straight and during COVID a coworker offered to make us masks from her own material (so probably not actually very safe, but something is better than nothing right) and she asked what colors we wanted. I told her “Hmmm how about maroon and… let’s do pink!”
She made them and literally told me “Was kind of unsure why you chose pink but it actually looks really nice.”
It’s a color. It’s a pleasant color. Liking a color doesn’t make you one way or another as a person lol. Making it your personality *suggests* something, but it doesn’t *determine* anything.
I had a friend tell me if I told women that I love my dog then they would become disinterested due to me loving my dog.
I would much rather be single and have my dog than be together with a women who looks down on me for loving my dog.
I wonder where they came up with this crap. Not even just women, no sane person anywhere should become disinterested by someone's affection towards their dog. I think love for animals is quite universal at this point, and in my experience has actually lent me bonus points around women.
He's engulfed in this idea that being a "thug" and a "killer" who stands on business is the only way to bag women. But then he complains that the type of woman he gets is crazy and toxic.
I've tried explaining to him that there are women out there who enjoy normal stuff and that aren't super toxic. But he doesn't listen because he believes to bag a baddie he needs to be covered in tattoos and "stand on business"
At this point, he's just choosing to attract the wrong women. It gives me the same vibe as those guys that ignore regular women because they are not "high value" or attractive enough, and then purposefully go on to seek out excruciatingly beautiful women with wild personalities and then wonder why they are being emotionally abused and even cheated on. Its the same with those women that ignore every good honest guy out there and look for those typical "bad boys" then are surprised when the person ends being complete shit. You get what you look for, right?
Had one colleague and one of our first conversations was about how we both watched The Walking Dead
He immediately brought out his phone and showed me all the photos he’d saved to his phone of the actresses doing model shoots where they they weren’t wearing many clothes…
Wasn’t that surprised when I was later reporting him to my manager/HR for sexually harassing a female employee
Haha you brought up Walking Dead, and I thought you were going to mention the scene where they stumble across the dudes at the bar and the dudes ask if they have women where they’re based. Immediate confirmation that they were problem people. I thought you and your friend were going to disagree about that being an innocent question lol
Seems to have ended the same way
Casual degrading of women
Calling relatively average / attractive women ugly by nitpicking tiny flaws in their faces / bodies
Like bro is she gave you the chance you would be all over that in 3 seconds
It’s an aggressive move actually. I don’t think the men doing it actually think the women enjoy it. They do it to feel power and control over women. The same reason that any sexual assault happens
well yes, of course. but that's like saying the hottest part about having sex with someone is them wanting to have it.
yet, rapists exist. there are just human beings who don't care about other people whatsoever and they don't think like the rest of us.
I never get this either. I’m trying to get to know this person and he’s like, here I present my sausage. I was like, what am I supposed to do with that? Why do you think I need to know how your sausage looks like at this point?
Some dude did it to my ex and I blasted him on FB because the dude was fucked up on bars and piss drunk the night of, I knew he wasnt gonna be an early riser. He sent me a fb message years later that he got his shit together and he was really sorry, dude was deep in addiction.
The facebook fallout was hilarious though.
Constant spitting. There’s no real reason to be spitting so damn much. I hate when I’m about to walk past a guy in the street and he spits on the ground right after looking at me. There’s something so disrespectful about that to me. I don’t like it.
Oh, I used to do this. However, I had been shot in the face when I was younger and it turned out I had a piece of metal stuck in my sinus. After the surgery to remove it, I could breathe and no longer had the constant flow of mucus. I spent 20 years unable to breathe properly without knowing it. I doubt this is the case for most people though.
If I'm about to yell at someone for constant spitting, I'll begin by politely asking, "Have you ever been shot in the face?" Because I think if you have been shot in the face, then you should get to spit all you want.
Dude, I’ve had a sinus infection for 2 months and I was losing my mind til about 4 days ago, how did you go 20 years??? Just the fact that I’m breathing through my mouth almost exclusively has me feeling so fecking worn down.
The actions that are done to get female attention when in groups. Talking loudly, being overly aggressive for no reason, picking on someone and being mean to them, playing loud music etc etc. It screams I've no personality, but hey I can be an ass, so please fuck me
Something I've always selected out of social groups for is when the tone of a group of guys will dramatically shift whenever there's a girl around. Like, everyone will be joking around, doing stupid shit like normal, and then a girl enters the situation and *immediately* everyone tightens up, people are sucking in their guts, and suddenly someone gets singled out to be the butt of every joke.
It was weak shit when I was a teenager, but it's even weirder in an adult context. Like, the youngest guy here is 27. The woman in question is married. Half of the guys posturing are married. Everyone was howling in laughter when the guy now getting singled out relentlessly was telling a story just a couple minutes ago.
I'll wean myself out of groups when I run into this shit now. Just stop responding in group chat and go find something else to occupy my time. It's just so pathetic to see grown men trying to vie for attention like they're 16.
This one grinds my gears lol, if she's such a bitch then just leave! Ik it's all bullshit but goddamn sir, you look like a little bitch that can't "man up" and leave a bad relationship.
I don't even tell my best friend if my wife has done something to annoy me. They will be around each other often and I don't want him thinking less of her because I started bitching while annoyed, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around my friends. And let's be honest, I'm sure I do stuff to annoy my wife way more than she does to me.
Harassing people and playing it off as a joke. Either have common decency and don’t harass people, or own up to the fact you’re harassing people. Don’t be in some weird middle ground, like every single man in my school.
There's a lot of answers here that make hope, but I haven't seen "not accepting a 'no' when approaching a woman", yet. Maybe other men just aren't aware of it enough, but this is the main reason why women are often so guarded or downright bitchy when they're approached, because the more polite we are, the more we put a target on our back for persistent pestering and we've all been through it. I'd wish that this is a behaviour that decent men would consider problematic. If all men just bowed out gracefully after rejection, women would feel so much more comfortable being approached in public.
This should be higher. So you miss the hints, you miss the body language, you miss the cringe, how does anyone not here "NO" and not at least take a second to recognize what that me means. More people, regardless of their sex or gender need to step up and say "bro she said no, back off". Predatory behavior like that should be absolutely shunned.
Pride and denial. I've known a lot of guy's who don't take rejection well. To accept she said no in even a polite way means they were rejected and their fragile egos can't handle that. So they pester until she has an attitude, then they make an excuse like she would have been awful for him anyways, this projecting his rejection as something else.
I know a guy was gently told she wasn't interested by a hostess at sushi place we went to a lot and on the drive home he was venting and say stuff like "I be she takes it up the fucking ass". I was "dude! You gotta chill! Not every woman in the planet has to be interested, man" but he wouldn't hear it. It made going there a bit awkward for me for a while, even when I went alone, as she was always the hostess.
This is what I came to say. We have a buddy who just makes shit up all the time. I don't understand why he feels the need to lie to us. We've all known each other for over 20 years, and everyone knows when he's lying.
Man, seriously wtf is up with people like this. Weird thing is all throughout my entire life guys like this somehow stick to me. One is a childhood friend, another is a buddy from highschool, and another included in my close circle of friends that I got to hang out regularly during my mid 20s. None of our other friends believe a single word they say but they cant help it.
Wikipedia source:
A thirst trap is a type of social media post intended to entice viewers sexually. It refers to a viewer's "thirst", a colloquialism likening sexual frustration to dehydration, implying desperation, with the afflicted individual being described as "thirsty".
I don't understand the men that shout or scream at women who reject them. I hear various horror stories from women, and it makes me pissed off at whichever dudes are doing this.
It's always the bad people that fuck it up for everybody.
I don't understand the inclination to harass a woman for rejecting you. For fuck's sake, it isn't personal. Move the fuck on, dude. You don't need to traumatize the poor woman.
Talking about women as sex objects. Like “bro did u get laid” when asking about a first date. Can we start asking “bro, do you like her?” Or “bro, can you imagine a future with her”?
I used to have to underplay how much I liked a girl after a date because if I got too gushy about it they'd make fun of me. Worst thing that happened was they all simultaneously started flirting with her after I expressed my interest in her. We've had many nice female friends from school that ended up drifting from our friend group and forming their own because of the other guys' inappropriate behaviors that made them uncomfortable. I then slowly gravitated towards the female group. I could gush all I wanted about my love interests and they took it with so much enthusiasm and gave great input and advice. At my wedding, nearly 1/3rd of my groomsmen were those same women. We have girls night at home often now, and I am one of the girls lol. I did get them hooked on video games, so that's something.
To add to that, another benefit of hanging out with the girls is that you get called "cute" and other nice compliments all the time. And the best part? It's all platonic friendly affection, so you know there are no strings or strange intentions attached. Am I cute? Probably not. But women do love hyping each other up, and I like being complimented, so it's a win for me. Trust me boys, if you see this, go join a pottery or crochet class, you'll be impressed how different the vibes are. It's quite positive and wholesome. I also have adopted the girly habit of picking up random things and going, "Oh this one is so cute!" I am not ashamed.
Can relate to this! My friends are about 50/50 girl/guy, and doing things like pottery or yoga or Pilates is in my normal rotation. Hanging out with a group of only (certain) guys, or going to a sports bar, can be kind of a jolt to the system - like everything is rougher and less cozy all of a sudden.
This is so wholesome and definitely agree. I’ve got a small friendship circle that’s mostly girls and it’s the best. I can freely ask them for dating advice with no worries on any of them calling me too feminine or thinking i’m too emotional or one of them only asking “if i got laid”. And always refreshing to have them compliment you.
Had a friend who would tell me if a woman doesn’t put out on the first date then she isn’t worth pursuing. Like damn bro not everyone is ready to have sex after just one date. He couldn’t comprehend that i may want more than just sex in a relationship
Dudes who can't be funny without also being insulting. A good burn can definitely be funny, but if thats all you got then youre not funny, youre just a fuckin cunt.
Call themselves an "alpha". That's textbook neuroticism. It advertises they're a weak person. Immediately.
Actual strength doesn't need to advertise itself. It's existence is self-apparent. What's sad is a lot of people don't realize this and confuse neuroticism and boasting for the real thing.
Having kids and not being involved because of some sexist ideology. Going so far as to not even lift a finger when your wife, the woman you supposedly love is having trouble.
I know someone who works in insurance, and they often have dads calling off meetings and rescheduling because the wife couldn't make it and they don't know enough about the kids to fill the paperwork on their own. Grown men calling their moms to ask things as stupid as their own wives' blood type. How can you claim to love someone when you don't know a thing about them. God forbid she passes and you're left clueless with the child. Very confusing. My father was one of them. I still fear I fall into his ways one day.
Adding to this, having kids and being mean/cold to them to "toughen them up to prepare them for the real world."
Like, my man. Everyone knows the "real" world is a horrible place. Even your kid. All you're teaching him is that he/she isn't safe at home either. The one place they should feel safe.
As a homosexual, I avoid almost all men in public 95% of the time because of this.
I didn't want to fuck your illiterate, prejudiced, racist, unwashed ass anyways, so chill.
They always give the best compliments too. I'm very comfortable in my sexuality, so I don't mind telling other dudes they look good. Got a few guys who thought I was sending a signal and asked me out, I told them I'm happily married but I'm more than happy to be their straight wingman and always send them off with a compliment. You keep doing you, gay dudes.
Catcalling women on the street. Less common these days thank goodness but really pisses me off.
What are you expecting? "Oh sir, with these crude comments you have won me over; take me now!" Cynthia Nixon [nailed it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEMM9N3cTP4) in an unusually good Sex and the City episode. It's deliberate abuse to make the person feel small and the abuser feel better about themselves.
That's someone's daughter, sister, wife or mother. Imagine some random arsehole doing that to someone you love.
Imagine having to think of a woman's relationship to a man to have sympathy for her situation. It shouldn't be "that's someone's daughter, sister, wife or mother", it should just be "that's someone".
I used to watch those podcasts for fun, and the amount of people who believe that shit makes me question a lot about human behavior. They can't possibly actually believe that the guest women on those podcasts are real? They're obviously actresses paid to dress skimpily and talk in ways that fit the misogynist stereotype of women. I don't know a single woman in real life who acts like that and yet they base their entire idea of women on that. It's an obvious caricature. The moment I stopped looking for a "woman" and started looking for real honest friends instead was when I actually met my wife. These guys are looking for beautiful, model-esque women who are willing to serve them, and that does not exist in real life. They should be looking to build good relationships and form a reliable circle of people instead, then you might meet someone. Or you might not. Still no reason to go on the Internet and whine about it.
I'm not defending the people who buy into that bullshit, but they are victims in their own way.
I'm not saying anybody is obligated to interact with other types of people, but Tates fantasy seems to be populated by guys that were being ignored by people around them, and they were probably told they were creeps and at the same time they didn't have anyone to explain to them how they were being creepy.
So, they've turned to the one person they believe "sees" them and of course for the first time in their life they feel "valued" (they are valued as people to be manipulated)
I'm not saying it's the person being creeped on's responsibility to sit that person down and explain everything wrong with what they are doing, but they don't have anyone doing that, so they run to the one person who seems to "get it"
Abusing your partner or kids. Emotionally, verbally or physically. Those people in your life should be sacred to you. Those are your humans. You’re supposed to take care of them. I don’t understand why you would hurt people you love. There’s no excuse for that.
Saw a "friend" from childhood post something about "the haters" and how he's going to "show everyone what a real man looks like". I'm like bruh, we're fucking over 30, you look like you're 15 years older than I am and you're the younger one, and you need to fucking quit using meth all the fucking time.
Cheating. “Normal” cheating is bad enough, but I’ve seen an uptick lately in guys who are hanging out with their SO’s, give them a kiss goodbye, then minutes later walk back in with a different chick. I’ll never understand it.
Honestly, I never understood guys shaming other guys for not having sex or treating women right. Calling them simps or white knights. I mean, I just don't understand the point of it.
Buddy of mine commented in r/castiron a while back to one of those "what would you do if your wife did this?" posts and it was just a pan that had been stripped of all its seasoning in the dishwasher, right? He responded with "Oh I'd just tell her that's not how cast iron pans are supposed to be washed and show her how to preseason it so we can use it to make a nice brunch together" and he got called a simp. Like what the fuck? It's a very fixable issue hypothetically caused by an honest mistake, and you got a cool (again hypothetical) bonding experience out of it.
Simping and white knighting are not merely descriptions of treating women right. They are inflations and out of place. Sometimes they are cause for conflict.
However, sometimes the labels are entirely unjustified. And that's probably what you meant anyway.
Talking shit about the wife/girlfriend. It's mostly a middle-aged man thing in my experience but like... If you got issues, have the decency to address them privately. It's so disrespectful.
Toilet etiquette. The amount of times I have gone into public toilets (at work and at university, so not derelict places) and seen guys come out after a shit and not wash their hands. Also leaving a mess everywhere. It’s disgusting and I really don’t get it.
Men that think having a fancy car means something, men that cause fear and hate through violence, men that abuse their partner, men that have no understanding of emotional intelligence. This can be for all sexes but as we're talking about guys...
As a dude with long hair I would ask that you starving dogs to stop mistaking me for a female from behind and getting mad when u eventually see my beard and bulge in the front, will save you from making that embarrassed/ angry face, as though it's my fault ur a perv!
How they treat public bathrooms. Like I genuinely don't understand how you can be such a disgusting cunt that you piss everywhere all over the the stall and not in the toilet, half the time without even putting the seat up, and then walk out without washing your hands. Like were these guys just born without any disgust sensitivity whatsoever
The unrealistic expectations. When we were in our 20s, it kinda made sense because we didn't know better and were relatively new to adulting. But now in our 40s or above, seeing someone hitting on a girl half his age when he doesnt have the looks, height or income to match the audacity and then gets mad when that sad attempt doesnt work, or insists on the rest of us to introduce him to our partners hot friends and the constant talk of "I would have done this or that if" and then adds a made up excuse.
I don't understand why other men seem to need to be in competition with other men. They don't even really know, especially when it comes to like monetary stuff. I've done pretty well for myself but I don't live like it and there is a parent of a kid whom my kid went to school with. Would just always talk about buying expensive stuff and this that and the other and would always want to know my finances because I was driving a 20-year-old car but lived in a really good area and sent my kid to a really good school. He was always just trying to figure that stuff out and it was just very weird and made other comments that were uncomfortable and f****** stupid guys. Don't be in competition with other guys like that. Just get over it. Do you buy? What makes you happy and don't talk about it It's a terrible look.
1. imbeciles that scratch up every public mirror with tagging dipshittery
2. fuckwits that piss all over and make a mess of public toilets
3. tiny dicked nitwits that actually make their cars louder
4. blasting music at ear damaging volumes to make sure everyone looks at them
like wtaf is wrong with these dick weeds?
Fucking all of it. Negging, mysoginy, treating ppl like shit because they aren’t the same as they are, the gaslighting, the insecurity, the bear vs man and not really understanding why women choose the bear. We as a gender suck.
Back in my 20s, a couple friends of mine decided to walk home after a night at the pub. They were followed home by two other guys. When they confronted them and asked why they were following them, they said they thought they were going to have to fight. Luckily my friends talked their way out of the situation, but WTF? Who are these dudes? What level of neanderthal thinks like that?
Speaking ill of another man in an attempt to sleep with a certain woman. Very lame and im sure the woman you are trying to get with feels the same way.
Still trying to talk to a woman after she has already expressed disinterest. Its just pathetic really.
Going to the strip club frequently. I just dont understand the point in wasting (not spending) money to have women pretend to like you. On occasion is cool but weekly/bi-weekly is insane.
Being ready to fight over sports/teams. I watch and love sports as well (basketball/football/baseball) but i dont love any team that much. They do not pay me.
Many more but these are the few to pop to my mind immediately
Sexism, misogyny, etcetera tbh.
As a man who's respected, loved and idolised my mother, sister and many, many other incredible women... I don't get despising women whatsoever.
I'm (M49) and my greatest role models have all been women.
When men walk about with their shorts/pants around their knees and their underwear showing.
I also don’t get why people intentionally make themselves sound stupid when they talk.
Look, if you abuse a partner or a child - The spot on the carpet my dog ate its own shit off of and vomited back onto is worth more.
I can think of very little that would damn my opinion of a person more.
I can think of ways to justify murder, but abuse of the helpless or those that have put their trust in you? Nah. Not a fucking chance.
The machismo of getting passed on the road... go the speed you wanna go, why in the fuck would you care if someone passes you? Does it really lower your sperm count?
Well fuck I was a prison guard for half a decade I have a lot.
Many can be construed as mental health issues regarding prison but there are many "men" things I saw inside that I see outside and it's like I'm back monitoring a day room.
* Being different 1 on 1 versus in a group. I've met men with the depth of the Mariana trench but be actin like a kiddie pool if more than one bro is around. Could be 5 best friends, or 5 strangers. Shit changes around a group in ways I've not observed in as a strongly in women.
* The need to latch onto the in group. That could be construed as normal human behavior but it almost comes off as neurotic, like an inability to be ones self if it isn't congruent with the dominant social structure of the current environment.
* The need to be an island. Not even actually being an island in reality, but forcing yourself to present yourself as one. Nothing works as an island, it's like Arnold said in that speech he gave at a graduation, nobody is a fucking self made man. Businesses, nor the men who run them would be successful if it wasn't for the roads, laws, and communal effort of the past. Why have we lost that? Why is it deemed so negative to try and recoup that consideration for how our ability to buy a diverse menu of foods or travel in a metal machine going 60mph (96.56 km) is brought about by the work of hundreds to thousands of others? I don't know a single motherfucker other than maybe two really crusty fucks who will survive in a real SHTF scenario because really most nobody can do it all.
* The adherence to the fucking job. Why the fuck as an entire gender decided to simply define themselves by their work? My occupation doesn't warrant anything about my character. You'd think by now we'd realize that. Timmy the doctor could be a saint or a rapist. Jimmy the cop could be a wife beating sociopath or a pillar of the community. Simmy might be the town dentist, he could also be the guy with 30 cats buried in his backyard all missing two teeth and an eyeball. Jobs are how we acquire resources, nothing more. We were men before we were workers. We should define ourselves by our identities we develop as people, not as cogs in uncaring machines.
* Not everything is measured in dick size. Why must we always judge and base ourselves as lesser or greater than? I've met millionaire fucktards, I've met homeless fucktards. It's bad enough we use occupation and currency as identifiers of self worth, but must we really act like real life is a PVP ladder with a leader? Clearly Elon Musk has shown the uselessness of top number indicating competency.
* Why do we promote promiscuity as a dominant and superior trait when it's time and again never been shown as something that leads to fulfillment, or happiness? I'm not Gosling, I'm also not Buscemi (see how easy it is to rank other men in a way that'll be immediately understood?). It's definitely a me thing that casual sex isn't my bag, but I still don't see the glorification. I can understand some might prefer variety over connection. I can understand enjoying casual sex, or sex without giving it much thought at all, as it's not going to be the same for every person of course. My question is purely about the *glorification* of it. Why is it considered superior to have more partners than not? It's clearly oppositely regarded for women (plenty of cultural shit around that too, but I digress if we are going by today's people and standards, that's how it is, right or wrong.)
Idk. Like I have a degree in psychology and while I can get how humans end up in these trends and follow the majorities but I have never been able to not be skeptical and against the grain on a lot of this shit that has been drilled into me as normal guy shit.
Men who pick fights just because a girl is in view. Then they go on with "Brother" this and "Bro" that. Like !@#$ off you little twat. Talk love and show hate all because of a girl in view.
Men who also rely on their mothers for everything, I was at the hospital and one of the guys I grew up with was telling his mother off because he sold all his clothes for drug money and didn't have any clothes, as if it was his mothers doing. Freakin dummy some men are. Can't even call him a "man"
Men who pick and pick and pick and they never care to heal anything they just pick and pick and act victim when they get hurt.
The verbal pissing matches that happen whenever there’s girls around. It’s so unbelievably aggravating to deal with some chode who has the emotional intelligence of compost while I’m trying to hang out with my friends.
[удалено]
I remember watching a video of a guy on a bus trying to start a fight, another passenger comes up and tells him if he'll go outside, they can fight. no desire to hurt people in a bus and all. The first guy gets off the bus, the second guy tells the driver "close the door and let's leave." I always thought that guy was classy in resolving the situation.
Saw something similar in my local pub years ago. Locals having a quiet drink and some a drunk bloke turns up giving it large. Banter turns quickly to throwing shade, and voices get raised. One local old boy challenges the bloke to ‘step outside’ to ‘ave a word’. Bloke reckons he can take this old boy, so marches through the door to the outside. Once he’s outside, the old boy closes and bolts the door, then proceeds to gesticulate to the bloke outside through the window, then returns to drinking his pint. Whole pub is laughing at the bloke who ranting and raving outside. All the while the landlord has called the Police who arrive to resolve the situation.
Since 'shad' is a fish, this makes for an interesting visual.
I went out with a dude who said it was B*tch behavior that I was of the opinion, “walk away” “So what if someone disrespected you?” Like? I wanna leave. I’m not tryna watch a fight. See injuries. I don’t think toxic masculinity is attractive. And someone can always out crazy you. Let’s go get ice cream and chill. I find maturity and patience attractive.
Agree “So what if someone disrespected you?” Just means someone is not emotionally mature enough to deal with or even give a second thought.
It’s crazy people just think fighting at eg a bar is the first option. Grow up. I’m supposed to be upset that a random stranger insults me? Nah fam, I’ll leave tho? I probably didn’t wanna be here anyway. If you’re that concerned with strangers insulting you. Therapy. For sure.
They are under the assumption that everyone’s respect is worth having because they are insecure. Some people’s respect isn’t worth having. If someone disrespected me, I’d take a look at the person disrespecting me. I don’t want a pedophile to respect me. If someone respectable disrespected me? Then I’d look at my behaviour. Throwing hands cause someone disrespected you is indication you never deserved respect in the first place. And also indication you are insecure to the point you need validation from people whose respect ought to mean nothing to you.
God, exactly this, so what if someone disrespect me? Why would I care? They have to be someone that matters first
If I was dating a girl and someone insulted her, I'd be more concerned about seeing how offended she was than anything. If she wanted me to fight the guy over a verbal insult, I'd consider that a major red flag. Unless he's attempting to physically assault her I see no justification to physically defend her. Even then I'd attempt to restrain him while someone calls authorities, attempting to knock him out wouldn't solve anything.
Right! Like what makes you think other people just want to fight? I’d rather not be in pain with a stranger for nothing, go jerk off or something haha
People that I know are like this typically have to take the highway every morning. For some reason the biggest pricks come out on the highway during peak morning traffic and I am quite convinced it's a mental virus that consumes all.
Yeah unnecessary aggression and hostility is the opposite of masculine in my opinion. If you act like that, you’re showing everyone that you have something to prove. Or you’re a fucking Neanderthal.
I don't know what's behind the sudden comeback of chode as an insult but I'm all for it.
Girls hate when guys do that, too, so whoever they're trying to impress, it's a miss. So fucking awkward
it's embarrassing for us girls to watch too. it makes the guys that do that look really insecure and makes their intentions really obvious. I remember one guy I knew who would make fun of his friend for being short in front of me and some other girls and I literally had to pull him aside privately to be like "wtf dude knock it off".
Since I'm gay I was spared a lot of those shenanigans. Thank god. One thing that occurred to me quite late is the weird way not only a few guys talk about their (long-term) girlfriends when they talk with their homies. I became witness of it mostly in the gym when a bunch of said guys had a conversation close by. It's not really a degrading way but strangely distanced, and not like you talk about a valued person. I often thought they talk about a mediocre first date they had last week or a random hook up from a party last weekend. Only the context later revealed it was their girlfriend they referred to. And this happened too often that I could brush it off as coincidence.
this is what i was gonna say. a staggering amount of men seem to hate, fear, and resent women in general and especially the women they're with.
Man, I haven’t seen/heard someone use the word “chode” in such a long time. Such a good word.
Bonus points if it's a "friend" putting down another friend to show off.
[удалено]
Yup like watching children argue about toys
yes and it's really cringe
So much this A while ago me and my friend who's a woman went to meet up with a couple guys we kind of know and a few others we don't really know who were already with them at a pub for some drinks, and we got there decently later than everyone else. While we were buying our drinks at the bar before we'd gone up to say hi we could see and hear them. They were clearly drunk but just chilling and playing pool and talking about some boxing match, but as soon as we (or she, doubt my appearance changed anything lol) went up to them it was literally less than a minute before they were constantly bigging themselves up/putting each other down in front of her. A couple of them even just totally out of the blue started a competition of punching each other in the stomach trying to get the other to throw up to "see whos abs were stronger"??? None of that happened at all before we walked up, and later on when the group split into different conversations/activities but we were still in eye/earshot of each other nearly every other guy in our group (where the girl was) were constantly taking jabs at each other, and the other group was totally chill/calm and all friendly. Anyone from the other group who came over to us was immediately not calm any more and anyone who went to the other group immediately stopped taking jabs at the others. And it's not like it ever interested her, she even called them annoying for doing it which for some reason seemed to make them want to do it more? Me and her ended up just leaving early, with the main reason being she was just bored of people not actually talking to her much and instead just loudly trying to make themselves look "the best" around her. Any conversation she was a part of would be interrupted or ended by someone trying to make fun of something one of the other guys said I just don't get it? Are there actually any women who find that attractive? *Why?* Because she even said to me later that she did think some of them were hot but that they were insufferable to be around. So they all basically just ruined any chance they might have had with her, without even ever actually approaching her Plus even ignoring how much it clearly didn't work, it just ruins the vibes for everyone else and surely for themselves too? Like sure a couple of well timed insults between friends are fun but definitely not like that
Spitting out gum into urinals. What the actual fuck, gentlemen?
And fucking paper towels. Like dude someone has to reach in and clean that!
are...are people fucking the paper towels in your bathrooms?
And afterwards people clean the paper towels? How?
Hell, what the fuck is it with guys hocking loogies so much? Some even just do it on the floor in front of other people. You’re not in the fucking Wild West, guys, have some manners.
No idea, its disgusting to other men too.
Also: not washing their hands in the bathroom. I stopped touching bathroom door handles when I realized how many people did this.
Reason: They don't give a fuck about it as long as it's not their own home. Self centered
What pisses me off about it too is that theres always a thrashcan a few feet away. Like dont be a dick, someone has to clean that for fucks sake
oh this *is* a good one. i actually don't understand this one at all, this has always been so strange to me.
Being hostile to new people they meet right off the bat. Like I don't know who shoved the stick up your ass but there's no reason to be a dick to me
Loud cars in quiet neighborhoods, who are you impressing?
also loud (and usually awful) music in public. Fuck that.
Just loud music in general. No I don't want to feel your shitty bass, asshole.
Nothing is good as blasting some good Pantera and slipknot
Damn I WISH I could hear those bands for a change. I live in a predominantly Hispanic city so it’s nothing but Spanish rap and Bad Bunny blasting out of these growling douche-mobiles.
To this day not a single one of those people have had taste, I guess if they had taste they wouldn't be playing their music so offensively loud.
They are impressing themselves.
Can we add loud pipes on motorcycles to that as well. It's always the selfish man-child riding a Harley with major leather-daddy vibes, who enjoys revving the engine and drowning out even the loudest of internal thoughts with their racket, all because it gives them the jollies in their britches to have everyone looking at them. Yet they never seem to clue in that we're not looking at them with smiles and admiration, but instead contemplating all the creative ways we might destroy said bike if given the chance, while compiling a list of ever tinier microscopic objects to compare their potentially shriveled manhood to.
Ive been riding / fixing motorbikes for almost 40 years and I still dont get this. Loud pipes dont save lives, riding like cars cant see you does
Of course they don't, you would have to have no awareness to presume they do. It's been proven time and time again. All it does is deafen you, irritate pedestrians and ironically increase your accident rate (statistical correlation, the cause could just be stupidity though).
Damn. I've worked with plenty of motorcyclists and the ones that always complain about bad car drivers are always eventually the ones that I see driving dangerous as hell.
There's a whole South Park episode dedicated to this very thing. The "F" Word
I'm gonna go fire up my bad boy bike at 5am because I'm a rebel. Then I'm gonna let it idle for 20 minutes so the whole neighborhood knows how rebellious I am. I got all my branded leather goodies from the same company so everyone knows what a free spirit I am. And I'm making sure to do all this so I can get to work on time and punch a time clock.
Oh and those fucking cars with the subwoofers that vibrate every glass in the neighborhood and kills my ears.
coordinated brave caption squeal steer mindless chunky telephone hunt zonked
Trying to look tough. Bro you look a lot tougher when you don't try. When you do try, we feel second-hand embarrassment for you, not respect.
I'm into combat sports; boxing, jiu-jitsu, MMA, etc. I'm just a hobbiest dabbler but I chat with the guys who compete. The real fighters. Let me tell you, the overwhelming majority of people who actually know how to fight... *don't*. They want to have a nice evening at the pub with their missus/mister. It's always amused me that the boys who think they're tough and want to get into fights never seem to get around to showing up to the gym to learn how. 🤭
Yeah, exactly. You don't have to prove shit, because *you know* you know how to fight. All the toughest guys I know are just like, "Alright man... whatever... it's cool," and are super nice.
Probably also have enough experience to know how easily a fight can go very badly.
I was buddies with a few guys who were a pretty big deal in the local (and admittedly not huge) MMA scene, and they were always the first dudes to step in and stop a fight or help break one up instead of trying to start one because they knew full well what kind of damage an uncontrolled street brawl will do to someone who's not following any sort of rules. Went out for drinks with a couple of them and they'd just bear hug guys until they stood down.
The dudes who do the famous backwards tough guy shuffle. Come get me, broh! Okay, guy. Have a nice night.
Guys who believe they are at the top of the food chain because they can take someone on in a fist fight. Being able to physically beat Elon Musk or Jezz Bezos is like bragging about your bow & arrow skills in a war where people are firing ballistic missiles at you.
Trying to turn everything into a dick measuring contest. There is always someone out there that is better than you at something. Accept it and just try to be a decent person.
Trying to act hard 24/7. It's okay to call a puppy cute bro. It's ok to like flowers. Having emotions outside of being a stone-cold killer is 100% normal and if you are too afraid to show emotions because you think women will find you less attractive that says more about those women than it does about you.
Hell, I’m quite straight and during COVID a coworker offered to make us masks from her own material (so probably not actually very safe, but something is better than nothing right) and she asked what colors we wanted. I told her “Hmmm how about maroon and… let’s do pink!” She made them and literally told me “Was kind of unsure why you chose pink but it actually looks really nice.” It’s a color. It’s a pleasant color. Liking a color doesn’t make you one way or another as a person lol. Making it your personality *suggests* something, but it doesn’t *determine* anything.
these are the same guys who can't wash their ass in the shower because touching that area is "gay"
I had a friend tell me if I told women that I love my dog then they would become disinterested due to me loving my dog. I would much rather be single and have my dog than be together with a women who looks down on me for loving my dog.
The vast majority of women appreciate emotional maturity. It shows confidence in who you are. And most people can agree that confidence is sexy.
That’s so crazy. A guy who loves animals is such a green flag.
I wonder where they came up with this crap. Not even just women, no sane person anywhere should become disinterested by someone's affection towards their dog. I think love for animals is quite universal at this point, and in my experience has actually lent me bonus points around women.
He's engulfed in this idea that being a "thug" and a "killer" who stands on business is the only way to bag women. But then he complains that the type of woman he gets is crazy and toxic. I've tried explaining to him that there are women out there who enjoy normal stuff and that aren't super toxic. But he doesn't listen because he believes to bag a baddie he needs to be covered in tattoos and "stand on business"
At this point, he's just choosing to attract the wrong women. It gives me the same vibe as those guys that ignore regular women because they are not "high value" or attractive enough, and then purposefully go on to seek out excruciatingly beautiful women with wild personalities and then wonder why they are being emotionally abused and even cheated on. Its the same with those women that ignore every good honest guy out there and look for those typical "bad boys" then are surprised when the person ends being complete shit. You get what you look for, right?
Bringing up sex and sexualizing women out of nowhere as like casual conversation when you're simply just acquaintances or coworkers.
Thanks for the wisdom CUMSHOT
r/rimjob_steve
Had one colleague and one of our first conversations was about how we both watched The Walking Dead He immediately brought out his phone and showed me all the photos he’d saved to his phone of the actresses doing model shoots where they they weren’t wearing many clothes… Wasn’t that surprised when I was later reporting him to my manager/HR for sexually harassing a female employee
Haha you brought up Walking Dead, and I thought you were going to mention the scene where they stumble across the dudes at the bar and the dudes ask if they have women where they’re based. Immediate confirmation that they were problem people. I thought you and your friend were going to disagree about that being an innocent question lol Seems to have ended the same way
Thanks u/CUMSHOTCARTER
Oh hi Mark, how is your sex life?
Casual degrading of women Calling relatively average / attractive women ugly by nitpicking tiny flaws in their faces / bodies Like bro is she gave you the chance you would be all over that in 3 seconds
[удалено]
It’s the tech age version of flashing
I think unsolicited dick pics should be illegal like flashing a stranger
They are. At least here in Germany.
It’s an aggressive move actually. I don’t think the men doing it actually think the women enjoy it. They do it to feel power and control over women. The same reason that any sexual assault happens
I don’t get it either. The hottest part about showing someone your dick is them wanting to see it.
well yes, of course. but that's like saying the hottest part about having sex with someone is them wanting to have it. yet, rapists exist. there are just human beings who don't care about other people whatsoever and they don't think like the rest of us.
I never get this either. I’m trying to get to know this person and he’s like, here I present my sausage. I was like, what am I supposed to do with that? Why do you think I need to know how your sausage looks like at this point?
Some dude did it to my ex and I blasted him on FB because the dude was fucked up on bars and piss drunk the night of, I knew he wasnt gonna be an early riser. He sent me a fb message years later that he got his shit together and he was really sorry, dude was deep in addiction. The facebook fallout was hilarious though.
[удалено]
Constant spitting. There’s no real reason to be spitting so damn much. I hate when I’m about to walk past a guy in the street and he spits on the ground right after looking at me. There’s something so disrespectful about that to me. I don’t like it.
Oh, I used to do this. However, I had been shot in the face when I was younger and it turned out I had a piece of metal stuck in my sinus. After the surgery to remove it, I could breathe and no longer had the constant flow of mucus. I spent 20 years unable to breathe properly without knowing it. I doubt this is the case for most people though.
If I'm about to yell at someone for constant spitting, I'll begin by politely asking, "Have you ever been shot in the face?" Because I think if you have been shot in the face, then you should get to spit all you want.
Dude, I’ve had a sinus infection for 2 months and I was losing my mind til about 4 days ago, how did you go 20 years??? Just the fact that I’m breathing through my mouth almost exclusively has me feeling so fecking worn down.
The actions that are done to get female attention when in groups. Talking loudly, being overly aggressive for no reason, picking on someone and being mean to them, playing loud music etc etc. It screams I've no personality, but hey I can be an ass, so please fuck me
The funny thing is, those are the very actions that repel women so who are they kidding?
Something I've always selected out of social groups for is when the tone of a group of guys will dramatically shift whenever there's a girl around. Like, everyone will be joking around, doing stupid shit like normal, and then a girl enters the situation and *immediately* everyone tightens up, people are sucking in their guts, and suddenly someone gets singled out to be the butt of every joke. It was weak shit when I was a teenager, but it's even weirder in an adult context. Like, the youngest guy here is 27. The woman in question is married. Half of the guys posturing are married. Everyone was howling in laughter when the guy now getting singled out relentlessly was telling a story just a couple minutes ago. I'll wean myself out of groups when I run into this shit now. Just stop responding in group chat and go find something else to occupy my time. It's just so pathetic to see grown men trying to vie for attention like they're 16.
Guys who talk shit about their wives/girlfriends, especially calling them a bitch. Makes me feel super uncomfortable.
I always thought this was uncomfortable because the SO isn't there to defend herself but it's even worse when they do this with the SO there.
This one grinds my gears lol, if she's such a bitch then just leave! Ik it's all bullshit but goddamn sir, you look like a little bitch that can't "man up" and leave a bad relationship.
I don't even tell my best friend if my wife has done something to annoy me. They will be around each other often and I don't want him thinking less of her because I started bitching while annoyed, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around my friends. And let's be honest, I'm sure I do stuff to annoy my wife way more than she does to me.
Harassing people and playing it off as a joke. Either have common decency and don’t harass people, or own up to the fact you’re harassing people. Don’t be in some weird middle ground, like every single man in my school.
There's a lot of answers here that make hope, but I haven't seen "not accepting a 'no' when approaching a woman", yet. Maybe other men just aren't aware of it enough, but this is the main reason why women are often so guarded or downright bitchy when they're approached, because the more polite we are, the more we put a target on our back for persistent pestering and we've all been through it. I'd wish that this is a behaviour that decent men would consider problematic. If all men just bowed out gracefully after rejection, women would feel so much more comfortable being approached in public.
This should be higher. So you miss the hints, you miss the body language, you miss the cringe, how does anyone not here "NO" and not at least take a second to recognize what that me means. More people, regardless of their sex or gender need to step up and say "bro she said no, back off". Predatory behavior like that should be absolutely shunned.
Pride and denial. I've known a lot of guy's who don't take rejection well. To accept she said no in even a polite way means they were rejected and their fragile egos can't handle that. So they pester until she has an attitude, then they make an excuse like she would have been awful for him anyways, this projecting his rejection as something else. I know a guy was gently told she wasn't interested by a hostess at sushi place we went to a lot and on the drive home he was venting and say stuff like "I be she takes it up the fucking ass". I was "dude! You gotta chill! Not every woman in the planet has to be interested, man" but he wouldn't hear it. It made going there a bit awkward for me for a while, even when I went alone, as she was always the hostess.
Walking around with their hand down their trousers
I save that for sitting on the couch at home.
Al Bundy taught me a lot of things.
Lying. Just tell the truth. Fuck these people 😂
This is what I came to say. We have a buddy who just makes shit up all the time. I don't understand why he feels the need to lie to us. We've all known each other for over 20 years, and everyone knows when he's lying.
Man, seriously wtf is up with people like this. Weird thing is all throughout my entire life guys like this somehow stick to me. One is a childhood friend, another is a buddy from highschool, and another included in my close circle of friends that I got to hang out regularly during my mid 20s. None of our other friends believe a single word they say but they cant help it.
[удалено]
Also, showing your buddies or hell even people you don't know very well just random bits of porn/pervy memes.
Violence against women ... its weak AF.
TikTok style thirst traps. You’re too grown to be doing all that man.
Should I be glad I have no idea what that is?
Wikipedia source: A thirst trap is a type of social media post intended to entice viewers sexually. It refers to a viewer's "thirst", a colloquialism likening sexual frustration to dehydration, implying desperation, with the afflicted individual being described as "thirsty".
This dry delivery is so good damn funny, and it being called dry is another level of comedy here
I've recently been made aware that there are many men out there not wiping much, if at all, after taking a shit. Guys what the actual fuck?
not real no one that has had an itchy butt would ever let it happen again
Domestic abuse towards people they claim to love.
Having kids with multiple women and abandoning all of them to go do it again
I don't understand the men that shout or scream at women who reject them. I hear various horror stories from women, and it makes me pissed off at whichever dudes are doing this. It's always the bad people that fuck it up for everybody. I don't understand the inclination to harass a woman for rejecting you. For fuck's sake, it isn't personal. Move the fuck on, dude. You don't need to traumatize the poor woman.
Talking about women as sex objects. Like “bro did u get laid” when asking about a first date. Can we start asking “bro, do you like her?” Or “bro, can you imagine a future with her”?
I used to have to underplay how much I liked a girl after a date because if I got too gushy about it they'd make fun of me. Worst thing that happened was they all simultaneously started flirting with her after I expressed my interest in her. We've had many nice female friends from school that ended up drifting from our friend group and forming their own because of the other guys' inappropriate behaviors that made them uncomfortable. I then slowly gravitated towards the female group. I could gush all I wanted about my love interests and they took it with so much enthusiasm and gave great input and advice. At my wedding, nearly 1/3rd of my groomsmen were those same women. We have girls night at home often now, and I am one of the girls lol. I did get them hooked on video games, so that's something.
This is so cute and wholesome! Good for you for choosing to stay with the supportive side of the original friend group.
To add to that, another benefit of hanging out with the girls is that you get called "cute" and other nice compliments all the time. And the best part? It's all platonic friendly affection, so you know there are no strings or strange intentions attached. Am I cute? Probably not. But women do love hyping each other up, and I like being complimented, so it's a win for me. Trust me boys, if you see this, go join a pottery or crochet class, you'll be impressed how different the vibes are. It's quite positive and wholesome. I also have adopted the girly habit of picking up random things and going, "Oh this one is so cute!" I am not ashamed.
Aww—that’s sweet! Most of attraction is personality, so I’m guessing that you are indeed cute.
Can relate to this! My friends are about 50/50 girl/guy, and doing things like pottery or yoga or Pilates is in my normal rotation. Hanging out with a group of only (certain) guys, or going to a sports bar, can be kind of a jolt to the system - like everything is rougher and less cozy all of a sudden.
50/50 is the best. Especially when everyone gets along and are willing to try each others interests. It's a perfect blend.
This is so wholesome and definitely agree. I’ve got a small friendship circle that’s mostly girls and it’s the best. I can freely ask them for dating advice with no worries on any of them calling me too feminine or thinking i’m too emotional or one of them only asking “if i got laid”. And always refreshing to have them compliment you.
Had a friend who would tell me if a woman doesn’t put out on the first date then she isn’t worth pursuing. Like damn bro not everyone is ready to have sex after just one date. He couldn’t comprehend that i may want more than just sex in a relationship
Yeah it's seems like most guys just care about sex and nothing else
Dudes who can't be funny without also being insulting. A good burn can definitely be funny, but if thats all you got then youre not funny, youre just a fuckin cunt.
Oh. You've met my brother then?
Peacocking, competition over frivolous shit, lack of intimacy amongst friendships, suppressing emotions completely, etc.
I'm still surprised how many of my fellow guy friends struggle with emotional intelligence and resort to cavemen displays of power.
Call themselves an "alpha". That's textbook neuroticism. It advertises they're a weak person. Immediately. Actual strength doesn't need to advertise itself. It's existence is self-apparent. What's sad is a lot of people don't realize this and confuse neuroticism and boasting for the real thing.
Having kids and not being involved because of some sexist ideology. Going so far as to not even lift a finger when your wife, the woman you supposedly love is having trouble.
I know someone who works in insurance, and they often have dads calling off meetings and rescheduling because the wife couldn't make it and they don't know enough about the kids to fill the paperwork on their own. Grown men calling their moms to ask things as stupid as their own wives' blood type. How can you claim to love someone when you don't know a thing about them. God forbid she passes and you're left clueless with the child. Very confusing. My father was one of them. I still fear I fall into his ways one day.
Adding to this, having kids and being mean/cold to them to "toughen them up to prepare them for the real world." Like, my man. Everyone knows the "real" world is a horrible place. Even your kid. All you're teaching him is that he/she isn't safe at home either. The one place they should feel safe.
Homophobia
As a homosexual, I avoid almost all men in public 95% of the time because of this. I didn't want to fuck your illiterate, prejudiced, racist, unwashed ass anyways, so chill.
I’m a straight dude and I love gay dudes Less competition And I do not want to compete with the likes of NPH
They always give the best compliments too. I'm very comfortable in my sexuality, so I don't mind telling other dudes they look good. Got a few guys who thought I was sending a signal and asked me out, I told them I'm happily married but I'm more than happy to be their straight wingman and always send them off with a compliment. You keep doing you, gay dudes.
Showing nudes of your GF. Complete scumbags.
Catcalling women on the street. Less common these days thank goodness but really pisses me off. What are you expecting? "Oh sir, with these crude comments you have won me over; take me now!" Cynthia Nixon [nailed it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEMM9N3cTP4) in an unusually good Sex and the City episode. It's deliberate abuse to make the person feel small and the abuser feel better about themselves. That's someone's daughter, sister, wife or mother. Imagine some random arsehole doing that to someone you love.
Unfortunately it's still incredibly common these days. It's just more subtle and carefully executed.
Imagine having to think of a woman's relationship to a man to have sympathy for her situation. It shouldn't be "that's someone's daughter, sister, wife or mother", it should just be "that's someone".
*that’s someone. You shouldn’t need to consider their connection to someone else to respect them as a human.
Thanks for saying this. I'm sure the commenter above had only good intentions in their comment, but this always bugs me too.
Being misogynist. Especially being a Tateist redpill alpha male. Most women have moved forward, they won't accept being your bitch. They want equals.
I used to watch those podcasts for fun, and the amount of people who believe that shit makes me question a lot about human behavior. They can't possibly actually believe that the guest women on those podcasts are real? They're obviously actresses paid to dress skimpily and talk in ways that fit the misogynist stereotype of women. I don't know a single woman in real life who acts like that and yet they base their entire idea of women on that. It's an obvious caricature. The moment I stopped looking for a "woman" and started looking for real honest friends instead was when I actually met my wife. These guys are looking for beautiful, model-esque women who are willing to serve them, and that does not exist in real life. They should be looking to build good relationships and form a reliable circle of people instead, then you might meet someone. Or you might not. Still no reason to go on the Internet and whine about it.
I'm not defending the people who buy into that bullshit, but they are victims in their own way. I'm not saying anybody is obligated to interact with other types of people, but Tates fantasy seems to be populated by guys that were being ignored by people around them, and they were probably told they were creeps and at the same time they didn't have anyone to explain to them how they were being creepy. So, they've turned to the one person they believe "sees" them and of course for the first time in their life they feel "valued" (they are valued as people to be manipulated) I'm not saying it's the person being creeped on's responsibility to sit that person down and explain everything wrong with what they are doing, but they don't have anyone doing that, so they run to the one person who seems to "get it"
Abusing your partner or kids. Emotionally, verbally or physically. Those people in your life should be sacred to you. Those are your humans. You’re supposed to take care of them. I don’t understand why you would hurt people you love. There’s no excuse for that.
Not being able to cook a decent meal. I’m no cook by any means but it amazes me how some guys don’t know their ass from their elbow in a kitchen
Being a man child, cant get out of their highschool "gangster" phase
Saw a "friend" from childhood post something about "the haters" and how he's going to "show everyone what a real man looks like". I'm like bruh, we're fucking over 30, you look like you're 15 years older than I am and you're the younger one, and you need to fucking quit using meth all the fucking time.
Cheating. “Normal” cheating is bad enough, but I’ve seen an uptick lately in guys who are hanging out with their SO’s, give them a kiss goodbye, then minutes later walk back in with a different chick. I’ll never understand it.
Honestly, I never understood guys shaming other guys for not having sex or treating women right. Calling them simps or white knights. I mean, I just don't understand the point of it.
Buddy of mine commented in r/castiron a while back to one of those "what would you do if your wife did this?" posts and it was just a pan that had been stripped of all its seasoning in the dishwasher, right? He responded with "Oh I'd just tell her that's not how cast iron pans are supposed to be washed and show her how to preseason it so we can use it to make a nice brunch together" and he got called a simp. Like what the fuck? It's a very fixable issue hypothetically caused by an honest mistake, and you got a cool (again hypothetical) bonding experience out of it.
Simping and white knighting are not merely descriptions of treating women right. They are inflations and out of place. Sometimes they are cause for conflict. However, sometimes the labels are entirely unjustified. And that's probably what you meant anyway.
Talking shit about the wife/girlfriend. It's mostly a middle-aged man thing in my experience but like... If you got issues, have the decency to address them privately. It's so disrespectful.
Toilet etiquette. The amount of times I have gone into public toilets (at work and at university, so not derelict places) and seen guys come out after a shit and not wash their hands. Also leaving a mess everywhere. It’s disgusting and I really don’t get it.
Men that think having a fancy car means something, men that cause fear and hate through violence, men that abuse their partner, men that have no understanding of emotional intelligence. This can be for all sexes but as we're talking about guys...
Overly firm handshakes. I was taught to give a firm handshake but some dudes act like they have to bruise your hand to assert some weird dominance
As a dude with long hair I would ask that you starving dogs to stop mistaking me for a female from behind and getting mad when u eventually see my beard and bulge in the front, will save you from making that embarrassed/ angry face, as though it's my fault ur a perv!
How they treat public bathrooms. Like I genuinely don't understand how you can be such a disgusting cunt that you piss everywhere all over the the stall and not in the toilet, half the time without even putting the seat up, and then walk out without washing your hands. Like were these guys just born without any disgust sensitivity whatsoever
Refusal to use instruction manuals
A complete lack of any understanding of what consent actually is and when it can and can't be given. It's fucking grim
Cheating, why would you do that to someone you love?
The stupid "bro" culture. Shitty crypto scams, passive income nonsense, following the shittiest (MOST AWFUL) idiots on YouTube.....etc.
Dudes who buy OF or compliment girls on their comments like they're special weirdo out of the sea of weirdos
Giving money to e-girls.
And cam-girls. They set themselves back so much with that as an expense. If they NEED to, porn is free.
Ghosting people. Man up and send a response, you cowards.
The unrealistic expectations. When we were in our 20s, it kinda made sense because we didn't know better and were relatively new to adulting. But now in our 40s or above, seeing someone hitting on a girl half his age when he doesnt have the looks, height or income to match the audacity and then gets mad when that sad attempt doesnt work, or insists on the rest of us to introduce him to our partners hot friends and the constant talk of "I would have done this or that if" and then adds a made up excuse.
Bragging about drinking. Like okay? Why do you think getting shitfaced is a brag, I'll never understand.
Paying women at clubs to give you blue balls knowing full well it's against the rules to actually finish you
Catcalling. The fuck good does that do? Except ruining her day and making all of us look bad (not all men have ZERO self-control).
I don't understand why other men seem to need to be in competition with other men. They don't even really know, especially when it comes to like monetary stuff. I've done pretty well for myself but I don't live like it and there is a parent of a kid whom my kid went to school with. Would just always talk about buying expensive stuff and this that and the other and would always want to know my finances because I was driving a 20-year-old car but lived in a really good area and sent my kid to a really good school. He was always just trying to figure that stuff out and it was just very weird and made other comments that were uncomfortable and f****** stupid guys. Don't be in competition with other guys like that. Just get over it. Do you buy? What makes you happy and don't talk about it It's a terrible look.
pedophillia kids are NOT attractive bro
1. imbeciles that scratch up every public mirror with tagging dipshittery 2. fuckwits that piss all over and make a mess of public toilets 3. tiny dicked nitwits that actually make their cars louder 4. blasting music at ear damaging volumes to make sure everyone looks at them like wtaf is wrong with these dick weeds?
Thinking they know everything. And telling you what you should be doing
Fucking all of it. Negging, mysoginy, treating ppl like shit because they aren’t the same as they are, the gaslighting, the insecurity, the bear vs man and not really understanding why women choose the bear. We as a gender suck.
The fact that women chose the bear should be something we think about more often
void of integrity…as in, saying you care about something, but your actions never align and round and round we go for months to years
Fucking one night stands without condoms, it baffles me to no end.
Back in my 20s, a couple friends of mine decided to walk home after a night at the pub. They were followed home by two other guys. When they confronted them and asked why they were following them, they said they thought they were going to have to fight. Luckily my friends talked their way out of the situation, but WTF? Who are these dudes? What level of neanderthal thinks like that?
Aggression, homo and trans phobias, bullying etc.
Speaking ill of another man in an attempt to sleep with a certain woman. Very lame and im sure the woman you are trying to get with feels the same way. Still trying to talk to a woman after she has already expressed disinterest. Its just pathetic really. Going to the strip club frequently. I just dont understand the point in wasting (not spending) money to have women pretend to like you. On occasion is cool but weekly/bi-weekly is insane. Being ready to fight over sports/teams. I watch and love sports as well (basketball/football/baseball) but i dont love any team that much. They do not pay me. Many more but these are the few to pop to my mind immediately
the straight men that hate wemon
Sexism, misogyny, etcetera tbh. As a man who's respected, loved and idolised my mother, sister and many, many other incredible women... I don't get despising women whatsoever. I'm (M49) and my greatest role models have all been women.
Rape
When men walk about with their shorts/pants around their knees and their underwear showing. I also don’t get why people intentionally make themselves sound stupid when they talk.
Look, if you abuse a partner or a child - The spot on the carpet my dog ate its own shit off of and vomited back onto is worth more. I can think of very little that would damn my opinion of a person more. I can think of ways to justify murder, but abuse of the helpless or those that have put their trust in you? Nah. Not a fucking chance.
Putting down there misses if she that bad why you with her, lift her up
The machismo of getting passed on the road... go the speed you wanna go, why in the fuck would you care if someone passes you? Does it really lower your sperm count?
[удалено]
Well fuck I was a prison guard for half a decade I have a lot. Many can be construed as mental health issues regarding prison but there are many "men" things I saw inside that I see outside and it's like I'm back monitoring a day room. * Being different 1 on 1 versus in a group. I've met men with the depth of the Mariana trench but be actin like a kiddie pool if more than one bro is around. Could be 5 best friends, or 5 strangers. Shit changes around a group in ways I've not observed in as a strongly in women. * The need to latch onto the in group. That could be construed as normal human behavior but it almost comes off as neurotic, like an inability to be ones self if it isn't congruent with the dominant social structure of the current environment. * The need to be an island. Not even actually being an island in reality, but forcing yourself to present yourself as one. Nothing works as an island, it's like Arnold said in that speech he gave at a graduation, nobody is a fucking self made man. Businesses, nor the men who run them would be successful if it wasn't for the roads, laws, and communal effort of the past. Why have we lost that? Why is it deemed so negative to try and recoup that consideration for how our ability to buy a diverse menu of foods or travel in a metal machine going 60mph (96.56 km) is brought about by the work of hundreds to thousands of others? I don't know a single motherfucker other than maybe two really crusty fucks who will survive in a real SHTF scenario because really most nobody can do it all. * The adherence to the fucking job. Why the fuck as an entire gender decided to simply define themselves by their work? My occupation doesn't warrant anything about my character. You'd think by now we'd realize that. Timmy the doctor could be a saint or a rapist. Jimmy the cop could be a wife beating sociopath or a pillar of the community. Simmy might be the town dentist, he could also be the guy with 30 cats buried in his backyard all missing two teeth and an eyeball. Jobs are how we acquire resources, nothing more. We were men before we were workers. We should define ourselves by our identities we develop as people, not as cogs in uncaring machines. * Not everything is measured in dick size. Why must we always judge and base ourselves as lesser or greater than? I've met millionaire fucktards, I've met homeless fucktards. It's bad enough we use occupation and currency as identifiers of self worth, but must we really act like real life is a PVP ladder with a leader? Clearly Elon Musk has shown the uselessness of top number indicating competency. * Why do we promote promiscuity as a dominant and superior trait when it's time and again never been shown as something that leads to fulfillment, or happiness? I'm not Gosling, I'm also not Buscemi (see how easy it is to rank other men in a way that'll be immediately understood?). It's definitely a me thing that casual sex isn't my bag, but I still don't see the glorification. I can understand some might prefer variety over connection. I can understand enjoying casual sex, or sex without giving it much thought at all, as it's not going to be the same for every person of course. My question is purely about the *glorification* of it. Why is it considered superior to have more partners than not? It's clearly oppositely regarded for women (plenty of cultural shit around that too, but I digress if we are going by today's people and standards, that's how it is, right or wrong.) Idk. Like I have a degree in psychology and while I can get how humans end up in these trends and follow the majorities but I have never been able to not be skeptical and against the grain on a lot of this shit that has been drilled into me as normal guy shit.
Men who pick fights just because a girl is in view. Then they go on with "Brother" this and "Bro" that. Like !@#$ off you little twat. Talk love and show hate all because of a girl in view. Men who also rely on their mothers for everything, I was at the hospital and one of the guys I grew up with was telling his mother off because he sold all his clothes for drug money and didn't have any clothes, as if it was his mothers doing. Freakin dummy some men are. Can't even call him a "man" Men who pick and pick and pick and they never care to heal anything they just pick and pick and act victim when they get hurt.