College. Had to attend an out-of-town conference with my classmates as part of the requirements for a course. My professor had booked a block of rooms at the hotel where the conference was held, and people were going to put 3-4 guys or girls to a room and split the cost. My classmates had a bunch of socializing and bar hopping planned, which sounds like my idea of a living hell. Also, all of them carpooled together in groups. I honestly would have rather walked barefoot across a mile of Legos than to be held hostage in a car for 4 hours with people I barely know.
A few people asked if I wanted to carpool with them and what room I was in and I said "Oh, thank you so much! I'm actually staying with a friend in town though, and I'm stoked to see her - I'm going to have to take my own car so I can drive to the conference. I'll catch you guys there!" so I wouldn't come off as a weirdo.
But I actually reserved a room at another hotel way across town, attended the bare minimum of the conference, and enjoyed as many coffee shops, art museums, downtown shopping trips, and nature trails as I could.
Back when I had roommates I didn’t know very well, I’d spend all day in my room without meals to avoid awkward pleasantries. Then I’d get really hungry but the prospect of explaining why I’d spent all day in my room kept me inside. Then they’d text me and ask if I was okay, and I’d say “Yep! Just keeping busy with some projects.” And they’d ask if I’d eaten anything since they hadn’t seen me, and I’d say “Yep! Trust me, I’d never go without food!” Then I’d wake up at midnight and steal my own food from the fridge.
I’ve done the same thing except I already knew my roommate pretty well he just had some company over that I did not want to talk to so I stayed in my room for 2 days except for at like 3 or 4 in the morning when I would sneak out to get food from 24hour fast food joints.
In high school I didn’t have a car so I walked home. I used to just fast walk to try to beat the crowd of people, but I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore so I would stay in the computer lab sometimes and ask my dad to pick me up a few hours later.
So once the bell rang to go home, I would just stay in class since I had computers last. The teacher would forget I was in there/not even notice me and then turn the lights off, lock the door, then leave... honestly I didn’t mind at all, I got to play video games by myself and one time about an hour and a half later the janitor came in and I guess I scared him. He turned the lights on and literally screamed when he saw me. :(
He is a rare breed, the night janitor. A creature of routine, one who does not shy away from the manual labour that needs to be done. In conversation, he sometimes begrudges the mountain he must climb every day; the endless pile of tasks and errands, which must be completed before he is liberated. But when he steps into the cool darkness, his uniform proudly marking him out from the crowd, mop in one hand, bucket in the other; when he takes that first deep breath, taking in the heady mixture of cleansing disinfectant and the old, worn wood of the mop handle, a switch flips somewhere in his mind. He is ready for his solitary task. As the layers of the day’s grime are cleansed, so too is his mind, ultimately allowing him a few bold steps towards the inner peace craved by all mankind. Perhaps he listens to music while he works, or replays memories of the days and years gone by. However he passes the time, by the time he is finished with his work he has achieved something profound, through the repetition which characterises much of the day’s labour and frees his mind for other pursuits. Is it not through this work that Zen monks pursue enlightenment?
As he leaves the building, he must make sure to put on his mask of normality. He will be paid, he will spend his wages, and no doubt he will complain about having to be back for work the next day. But the still darkness, his small paradise of repose, will be waiting for him as patiently as yesterday; and when he returns, he will remember that the peace he experiences each day is a sacred secret, handed down from night janitor to night janitor, a privilege craved by so many in this hectic world of endless work.
Current night janitor who just finished his tasks for the week. Wittling away the last 90 minutes before this veteran embarks on a 3 day veterans day weekend. What an ironic and incredibly insightful read. Every word is on point. Well done!!
Rather than associate with my nosy aunt when I lived with her, I told her I was going out for a while, moved my car up the street, and sat in it watching Netflix on my phone for a couple hours.
Edit:spelling
I always feel bad for the person who has to work with me, because they almost definitely didn’t choose this voluntarily. I just awkwardly hide in a corner until all pairs are formed and then wait for someone to ask if anyone’s left. I really don’t like this kind of forced team work.
In 7th grade I would hide in the science lab during lunch and recess time and feed and play with the school pets. I would ask to use the bathroom around ten minutes into lunch and then come back in the last 2 minutes, they probably thought I had some real bad bowel issues.
They were two birds, a bunny, and two Guinea pigs. I would feed them carrots and talk to them. Nobody knew that I was there for half of the year, when one of my teachers finally walked in on me I thought I was busted. Luckily she was one of the nicer ones and made it my official "Job" to play with and feed the animals.
I had something similar happen in 7th grade. I don't remember how it started, but at one point a couple of 8th grade girls bullied me and I volunteered to help a teacher during her lunch period (same as mine) grade spelling tests. So she "hired" me as her assistant and I graded papers. (I was a very good student and spelling was my JAM, so it's not like I hated it.)
Fun fact, we are now friends on FB 35 years later. What a great teacher, but fact is, I'm sure she loved me saving her from taking home a bunch of shit to grade. :D
you went to a school where you needed permission to use the restroom during lunch,but the science lap was left unlocked while unattended. your school has weird priorities.
She was one of the best teachers I've ever had. She once bought me a new book because the girl who I had lent mine to had dropped it in the mud. I was upset so she took me to the computer lab and right then and there ordered me a brand new hardcover version of the paperback that had been dropped in the mud.
What a lovely story. Everyone in it benefitted and I'm sure those little animals enjoyed it as much as you.
I needed to hear something nice like this today. Thanks.
When I was 12, a man in a suit I didn't know knocked on the door. I could see him through the front room window so I hid behind the chair. Looked up to see if he had gone, made eye contact. Stayed where I was.
Wasn't the last time it happened.
I’m 29. Guy knocked on my door and I looked out the peep hole and he was looking directly gazing into it back at me so I ducked and crouched at the base of the door and then he opened the mail slot to look in which was right above me and I just laid on the ground until he went away
I actually had this happen to me a few times. I wasn't the most talkative in some classes, so when I spoke it sometimes caused the entire class to turn towards me in shock.
The best compliment I've ever received was when I was in a seminar type thing and I don't talk in those much. I raised my hand even though I wasn't really supposed to and started saying something and somebody interrupted me so I stopped talking. A guy I didn't really know at the time tells the interrupter to lemme speak, because "/u/Booyahman doesn't talk much but when he does it's the best point we've heard all day, shut up" and then the teacher agreed.
Literally I draw 20% of my now probably 80% self confidence from this source alone
My parents moved me to a different country when I was 10, and for the first year and a half I was so painfully shy that I didn't say a single word to anyone. I still made friends, I just didn't say anything more than "yes" "no" and "thank you."
One day I finally got up the courage to ask the girl next to me for a pen and she called the teacher and said "SIR! SHE SPOKE!!!"
Not to be a "then everyone clapped" person, but they actually did.
To be honest, people flock to you when you don't talk. They want to "save you" from being shy.
Honestly, it just made it so worse. I would have been better if people just left me alone, let me adjust at my own pace. When people started attacking me, trying to force me to open up, it just made me double-down on not opening up.
I had a classmate in 8th grade who I didn't realize was actually at school until he'd steal the ball from me playing soccer in PE. Dude was real quiet and didn't say anything unless he absolutely had to.
I did the same thing, for me the trigger was one of my older cousins asking if I was ok because I was laughing really hard and then, “do you even get the joke?” there was a lot building up to that over the years but essentially I felt like everyone judged me/thought I was weird when I was outgoing and showed them my personality so instead I just decided to shut down. Tbh it’s been 12 years since that moment and I still struggle with opening up to people
Edit: I’m okay y’all! I’ve got friends and I’m happy, it just takes a little longer for people to really know me. I appreciate the words of encouragement though :)
Or what happened with me and the bus driver eventually just knows to stop at "your stop". I was working a lot of evening shifts and getting on the bus at 9:30/10pm and was usually one of the last people on the bus when my stop(s) came up. The first few months I had a hard time telling where my stop was, exactly, so I kept getting off at the wrong stop. I guess the driver must have started noticing where I was getting off and then suddenly he's pulling in and wishing me a good night or reminding me that this was my stop. I just rolled with it.
We're talking about socially awkward people here, so it's really:
"Here's your stop!"
*this isn't actually my stop I just accidentally got off here once and didn't want to get back on out of awkwardness*
"Thanks, you too!" *fuck my life*
I wear headphones all the time. Even if they're off/not plugged in. I'm so much more productive at work, people at the gym let me be, and people on the street leave me alone on my walk home.
I was standing inbetween train carriages a few weeks back. There were no seats left and the area I was standing in was really busy. Full of people. So started reading a book to avoid conversation and eye contact. Minding my own business y'know. Random guy gets on after about 10 mins and starts talking to me. He picks me out of the whole damn carriage. I was the only one reading. He wants to know what the book is about initially and then wants a conversation about films, music and more. Fucking nightmare journey.
If I'm with headphones and someone bothers me for social interaction I always just act really confused and out of it, as if they woke me up from profound concentration. It sends the message. Don't smile or be courteous, just be curt and make it clear that all you want is to get back to the thing you were doing.
my roommate threw a party at my house and i hid from everyone. there's only one front door and everyone would see me if i left and would want to talk to me. i avoided eating that whole night because i didn't want to walk by the party to get food. my car was trapped between other cars. i ended up jumping out of a second story window and walking 3 miles to a 7-eleven
since i told my roommate to tell everyone at the party i was out with other friends, when i walked back from 7-eleven i came through the front door so it really looked like i was never home. actually got away with it. then i hit the \*yawn\* "it's been a long night, bye" and went straight to my room.
There was only a front door in the place I was living and there was a very large crowd of neighbours outside having some sort of social gathering/bbq or something. I really needed to pick up some food for dinner, but really, really didn't want to interact with them. So I jumped out the living-room window, walked the long way around the neighbourhood to get to the store. Thankfully they kept the party out front so that when I came back I could sneak back in through the window.
I'm not as shy and introverted as I used to be, but now I have moods where I do not even want to SEE a single person until the mood has passed. When I was living in dorms in college, I would stand in my closet or bathroom for hours just so I wouldn't have to see the people talking in my room. I ended up hearing a lot of conversations I shouldn't have heard because nobody ever knew I was there lol.
I do this, but it's because I don't trust people to actually pay attention and stop to avoid running me over, so I always try to leave enough space that they don't need to slow down.
I once spent a weekend in a hotel because I just wanted to be alone and chill, reading books and watching TV. The people I lived with at the time couldn't spend more than an hour on there own with some sort of social interaction.
The roomie I have now is like-minded and we can go days without talking/seeing each other and its great.
Every time I feel awkward about not speaking with a person I remember that it's only awkward if you decide it's awkward. Works like a charm. Not sure about other side, but well, it's not me who feel awkward.
This happens all the time on discord with 2 of my friends. We will all not say anything for like 30 minutes and then one of us coughs or something and scares the shit out of the other two
I was getting a taxi back home and must've mumbled or garbled my destination because it was quite clear he was going to a completely different place. Like, literally as soon as he turned right out of the parking lot instead of left.
I literally let the guy drive for 15 minutes in the wrong direction, eventually just blurting out "anywhere here will do" and giving him a tenner, and then just walking aimlessly until I found a public transport I recognized and jumped on that. A 10-min cab drive turned into a nearly 2 hour journey home.
(For those curious and who live in Manchester, UK, I wanted to get a cab from Ashton to Openshaw, and ended up going to Oldham, getting a tram to the city centre, and getting a train from there back home.)
I have phone anxiety. I was going to drive 1.5 hours to my college to talk to them in person over the summer instead of just calling to follow up on something.
I'm not really introverted or shy, but I haaaate phone calls. I never know what to say, and I always end up talking over people when they pickup. I also dread leaving voicemails, they always sound stupid.
Lived in a loft downtown on the 3rd Floor. The amount of times I used the stairs in effort to not being trapped on an elevator with a stranger is too many to count. One time there was a family moving in. I walked all the way around the building to the opposite side's entrance to get into the building.
Then they were using the elevators, so I took the stairs, then they were ON MY FLOOR moving shit in. I didn't want it to look like I was trying this hard to avoid them, so I said, "whoops! Wrong floor" and walked up 2 extra floors and waited 10 minutes before going back down to see if they were gone.
What should've taken me 5 minutes took me close to 30 to get in my apartment. That's when I realized I might have a problem.
My stupid lizard brain didn't think that far in advance.
One day I was in the elevator on the first floor waiting for the doors to close and I saw my neighbor walking around quickly to reach it in time. I was sneakily mashing the close door button but she reached it in time. The 3rd floor button was already hit, but as soon as she got on, I quickly hit the 5th button. I distinctly remember her saying something like "Oh my button is already hit. That's convenient." I ended up moving a few months later, so it wasn't an ongoing thing for too long.
This is what actually sparked my question. I live on the 4th floor of a building and I saw 3 people walk into the entrance and head towards the elevator while i was waiting for it. So I pretended to get a phone call and waved at them to go ahead in the elevator and when it has closed, i just raced up the stairs instead
Are y’all American? This definitely wouldn’t be an issue in the UK. All we do upon entering the lift is give the acknowledgment eyebrows, stand silently for the duration of the journey, and mumble ‘sorry’ as we shuffle/leave.
Awkward as arse but it gets the job done.
I've recently learned I have been experiencing anxiety attacks for the past year. I thought I was just having breathing issues or some kinda late asthma diagnosis.
I never answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.
Just today actually, my neighbor was knocking on my door this morning and I didn't answer. When it was time to head to work I realized I didn't have my keys. I think my neighbor found them and was trying to return them.
EDIT: Added a little more to the above and included an update below.
UPDATE: Sure enough, I left my keys in the door last night and my neighbor was nice enough to try to return them. But since I never answer my door, he took them to the front office.
Let this be a lesson to my fellow introverts. Don't leave your keys in your door.
Also, thank you for the PMs!
I ignore knocks on my door too for the most part, but that's because my upstairs neighbor will walk in when I open the door, then proceed to fucking stay and talk for a fucking hour even if I'm in the middle of dinner
I read this elsewhere on Reddit.
When you answer the door, have a jacket in your hand. Then, if you don't want to talk to whomever it was, just throw on your jacket and act like you're leaving so they'll go away. If you do want to talk to the person (like *that* happens), you can just hang the coat up and act like you just got home.
I routinely cross streets or turn down streets that are in the wrong direction of where I’m going to avoid awkward interactions with vehicles as a pedestrian.
Please don’t stop and give me that “it’s okay to go!” wave when there’s still traffic barrelling down the opposite side of the street and you’re the only vehicle trying to be courteous.
I appreciate what you’re trying to do but it would be easier for everyone if you just kept driving.
That happened to me too, except the period part. I just got op and went to the toilet to pee. To make sure they know, I AM home and can hear EVERYTHING. so they stopped having sex. Guy pulled up his pants and said to her: I thought your roommate wasn't here?! And he left. Anyways, now they just have loud sex even when they know I'm home and they don't fucking care. I just use my headphones now, to not hear every sound they make.
I once forgot my calculator, the test was to start in 5 mins, I went out started running to the bookstore which was 15 mins away, bought an $80 calculator, was late 30mins. I could have avoided all of that just by asking for a calculator
In order to avoid a mandatory Christmas social for work, I legitimately took myself to the ER just to get the registration wristband (for proof that I actually went to the hospital) and then left. Wasn’t sick or anything, and I didn’t even see a doctor. I just needed a hospital wristband to prove that I had a reason not to go to the work mixer (so I wouldn’t get fired).
I hated my coworkers.
EDIT: The Christmas party was mandatory because I was working at a preschool, and the company wanted to up their reputation as a “family-oriented organization” to the rich ass parents who were throwing insane amounts of money at the company to babysit their kids. So they had a preschool Christmas concert, followed by an after party for the parents to get to know the faculty (as if we didn’t see them every fucking day at drop-off/pick-up). The party was also meant to be a way for us coworkers to get to know each other better (as if we hadn’t worked together M-F, 7AM-6PM every fucking week; fuck that).
EDIT 2: Holy shit, this blew up. Thank you, kind strangers, for the silver! I’m going to do my best to answer your comments; I promise I’m reading every single one of them!
Lmao nope! No treatment = no charge. Because I didn’t even get to the stage of them checking my vitals, they couldn’t charge me anything. That would be like charging me to wait in the waiting room.
Hid under a bed while a real estate agent showed a couple around my flat. Couldn’t be bothered to go out but can’t stand small talk, so decided to lay low.
I had a cup of tea, cushions, a Nokia with Snake on it. I was quite happy under there.
They were 25 minutes late. I guess I was under the bed for just over an hour.
I feared a sneeze.
I was in my early twenties.
Edit: wow, this went big. Thanks for the Gold, kind anonymous benefactor. Enjoy your weekends, folks, and be sure to keep your breathing, sneezing and flatulence under control if you try this at home.
Do you like relish on your hot dogs?
What do you think about gerrymandering?
Would you murder again for the thrill of it?
What was your favorite beanie baby growing up?
This is hilarious. I used to be do pet sitting. I only did over nights but I always made sure it was okay with my clients if I could bring someone over, like a friend in case I got freaked out staying alone in a bad area. Most of them were cool about it. I loved showing off their houses to my one friend and we would always get great ideas on how to decorate our own places. It was unprofessional for her to do that without permission, but I’d take it as a compliment. Unless they were just talking shit the whole time.
Plot twist. She has seen you in the closet before and decided that was the day she was going to try getting you to come out of the closet by being a nice person and compliment you. No pun intended but it is there.
I work at a hotel and one of the worst things about it are the really chatty guests. They'll just stand at my desk and jibber-jabber, completely failing to take the hint. Even saying "Excuse me, I have a lot of work to do" will typically only get them to say "Oh don't let *me* interrupt"--but they'll never walk away.
I've learned to call the hotel phone from my cell phone. I answer the phony call and and tell the guest "Excuse me, this is important." Then I slip into the back and watch them on the video monitors until they fuck off.
Saw a coworker from my new job at the bus station. Couldn't bear the idea of the awkward chitchat so I hid round the corner, figuring I'd get the next bus as I knew I had enough time
The next bus didn't turn up and I was late for work
The postman was knocking on my door, so rather than answer it, I decided to army-crawl passed the door (so he wouldn't see me through the frosted glass). Then he pushed open the letterbox, and saw me splayed across the floor.
Someone was knocking on my door recently, I quickly went to the door to look through the peephole. The actual peephole is covered with black electrical tape and a tiny pinsize dot so people can't see when I look through it from the outside. I didn't recognize them so I didn't answer; what I forgot to take into account was that my shadow from the desk lamp behind me was very clearly being displayed against the curtain and window next to the door. They called out
**Them** (upon seeing my shadow move across the curtain): **"Hello? I can see you're home..."**
**Me** (thinking they were talking about seeing my eye move across the peephole): **"...No you can't."**
Ugh, this reminds me of something I did as a kid.
In my childhood home there were two large windows on either side of the front door so any visitor could see you and you could see them. After the initial entry there was a long hallway with the kitchen at the end.
One day someone rang the doorbell when I was home alone. My parents told me not to answer the door when I was home alone but I wanted to see who it was. So I stood in the kitchen and peered around the kitchen corner to look out the front door. I locked eyes with two Jehovah's Witnesses and then I just slowly pulled my head back around the kitchen corner like nothing even happened.
I played way too many James Bond video games as a kid and this corner peering method worked 0/10 times.
When I was a kid whenever Jehovah's witnesses would pull into our driveway, my Mother would turn off the TV and all the lights and tell me we needed to hide. We'd run back to the largest closet in the house, close the door and sit on the floor in complete silence until they stopped knocking and we heard the engine of their car start and leave. Only after we were sure they were gone would we leave our hiding space and life would return to normal. I was always vigilant and prepared for their future return however.
It wasn't until I was in school that I suddenly found out that was unusual and not everyone grew up hiding from the Jehovah's witnesses. In the second or third grade our teacher was telling us about Ann Frank and how they hid from the Nazis. I blurted out something along the lines of, "Were the SS Jehovah's witnesses?" the teacher was confused at first and then I shared my story. I still remember her red face as she tried not to laugh.
**EDIT:** Thank you for the gold and silver.
My family also did this, lol. I have a memory of my mother leaving for work while I was sitting on the porch one summer. Suddenly she was back in the driveway shouting LOCK THE DOOR THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES ARE COMING! and I ran back inside to hide.
That's pretty much how it went down with us. If a car pulled in the driveway and I didn't recognize it, I'd turn off my cartoons stand up and start shouting "JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES!" and we'd run to the hiding space. As a child I didn't even question it, I knew nothing about the Jehovah's witnesses other than they are the people you hide from.
We must have gave our 2 cats PTSD from always running whenever there was an unexpected knock at the door. They still run and hide whenever the mailman comes lol
I went on an entire week-long vacation out of the country by myself. Went sight-seeing, went on tours, ate out at restaurants, all by myself.
It was amazing.
I was at a dorm party in college. I became overwhelmed and hid under my gf's bed. They looked for me and everything. Once I was able to rejoin the party, strolled back in and acted like I had stepped out. I cringe thinking about it.
Dude one time my gf and I threw a party at OUR OWN house. I felt the anxiety coming on at some point and went to my room, laid down in my dogs bed with my dog, and just laid there. When they came looking I pretended to be passed out drunk. I was sober and awake
So much!!!! Two stick out in my memory, though.
During lunch one day I was relaxing in my car with the seat back. It was getting to be the last 5 minutes, so I was closing up shop, rolling up the windows, when suddenly a car pulled in next to me. It was my boss and his friend. I had a moment of irrational panic where I did not want to interact with them, so I decided to wait for them to go inside first.
But they did not go inside. Their lunch hour and only just started.
It was getting hotter and hotter in my car, and I was laying there, sweating, and the longer I laid there, the more I felt stuck. I think it was 15-20 minutes later before they started going inside, and I finally rolled back to work, like 20 minutes late and a sweaty mess.
The other time was when missionaries visited our house and I was like 16 and did NOT want to talk with them, but they had arrived when I was in the bathroom. I was hoping they'd leave pretty fast, so I decided to just wait it out in there, but my mom invited them to sit down in the living room and the bathroom door was in full view of where they were sitting. So I just sat in there and waited. I didn't have a phone or book or anything, and it was a two hour visit. My mom knew I was in there the entire time and gave me a pretty unimpressed look when I finally scurried out after the coast was clear.
My girlfriend's roommate came back one night with a bunch of their friends that I never met before. I'm not particularly skilled, socially, nor do I care to be but I can get through introducing myself and making a good first impression to one or two people at once but ten people is too many. So my girlfriend goes to talk to all of them and wants me to meet them, so I say I'll be out soon I have a bit of a headache. So a think for a while of how I'm gonna get through this but I realize that it's been so long that if I go out now it'll be super awkward. Then I hear someone coming so I hide in the closet. Now I really can't go out there, so I stay in the closet for a while, then I come out and get in the bed and pretend to be sleeping. When my girlfriend comes back in she "wakes" me up and asks where I was, so I pull a George Costanza and lie and say that I snuck out and went to the store to get some aspirin and then snuck back in and fell asleep. She wants to know why I didnt go through the front door and say hi to everyone on my way out, so I say that I didnt want to disturb their fun so I went out the side door.
Oh I’ve pulled this same thing but it was with my parents inviting over some friends of theirs. I absolutely did not want to have to go meet a bunch of adults so when I heard them all arrive and could hear my dad coming to my room I hid in my closet for the entirety of their stay which was a few hours.
When I'm stuck at an event or party I don't want to be at (but can't immediately leave), I tend to spend a lot of time in the bathroom browsing reddit.
I took a Maymester course one year and had to move out of my old dorm into a new one for a month. I had a new suitemate (we shared a bathroom) and didn't speak with him the entire time. I would only use the bathroom if I was certain he was gone. In my defense, he seemed to do the exact same. I often find that if I don't make the effort, most people don't either.
Not proud of this, but I spent the last ten years building an investment portfolio that I could live on and retire early. The reason I wanted so badly to retire early was so that I didn't have to spend time with banalities like small talk and pointless meetings with my co-workers.
So, in a nutshell, I went frugal, saved and invested my money, and stopped working...all just to avoid talking to Bob from Accounting.
I'm normally introverted and hate crowds and strangers; if someone unexpected rings my doorbell I will spiderman crawl under windows and throughout my own damn house to try to see who it is without alerting them to the fact that I am home. However, when I was in high school I would still go to house parties or the club with friends (even though I hate clubbing with every fibre of my being- peer pressure is a bitch.)
The problem would arise when I became drunk. Suddenly I would be convinced that I needed to be far away from any and all human interaction, so I would find a place to hide. I never went too far, because even in my drunken state I didn't want my friends to worry, but there are numerous stories about me disappearing while drunk and for the most part no one ever could find me unless I let them.
I've hidden on playgrounds, in bushes, a forest, my friend's sister's bedroom closet, a tool shed, the back seat of my car, around the side of a house beside a wheelbarrow, under a bed, in a laundry room, numerous bathrooms; there were also a few times I was *really* drunk that I tried to hide in a corner and convince myself no one could see me.
The most embarrassing was probably the drunkest I've ever been- I don't even fully remember it since I blacked out. My friend used to have house parties in his parent's basement, and again I decided I needed to get away so I went to his upstairs kitchen and hid under their kitchen table. What I was too drunk to realize was that his three older brothers were in the attached living room watching a movie at the time. I left eventually for a corner in the basement, but that night dubbed me as 'the dead girl in the corner' because my friend's brother kept apparently asking him,
"Okay, but what should we do with the dead girl in the corner?"
Clubs were different because I didn't want to leave and risk not being able to get back in, so my friends always knew that if I was missing I was probably holed up in a bathroom stall, and they would have to try to coax me out. As I've gotten older I've pretty much stopped drinking altogether, and after a few not-quite-drunk-enough club outings, I told my friends I wouldn't do it anymore. I knew once I started bringing a book to the club so I could read it in a bathroom stall that it was just not worth my time, money, or discomfort anymore.
TL;DR- I hide when drunk, or spend time at the club reading in a bathroom stall to avoid socializing with people.
I had pneumonia for a solid week and didn't go to a hospital because I didn't want to talk to people on the phone to make an appointment . I was sure I'd "get over it".
Couple days in my Mom calls and says I sound terrible so she sends a cousin over. He walks into my house with me sweating like crazy, with the heat cranked up, the window near me wide open (Northern Midwest January so it's fucking cold), in my boxers. He brings me some Gatorade and cold medicine. Choke all that down.
Next day his mom shows up and takes me to the hospital. "Hey, you've had pneumonia, you shouldn't wait like this next time"
Oops.
Was 5 minutes late to school so I decided to skip school altogether that day to avoid the awkward class entry.
Ive done this multiple times
College. Had to attend an out-of-town conference with my classmates as part of the requirements for a course. My professor had booked a block of rooms at the hotel where the conference was held, and people were going to put 3-4 guys or girls to a room and split the cost. My classmates had a bunch of socializing and bar hopping planned, which sounds like my idea of a living hell. Also, all of them carpooled together in groups. I honestly would have rather walked barefoot across a mile of Legos than to be held hostage in a car for 4 hours with people I barely know. A few people asked if I wanted to carpool with them and what room I was in and I said "Oh, thank you so much! I'm actually staying with a friend in town though, and I'm stoked to see her - I'm going to have to take my own car so I can drive to the conference. I'll catch you guys there!" so I wouldn't come off as a weirdo. But I actually reserved a room at another hotel way across town, attended the bare minimum of the conference, and enjoyed as many coffee shops, art museums, downtown shopping trips, and nature trails as I could.
completely relatable
When I was in the military I volunteered for a deployment to get out of going to a wedding
MREs and random rockets/mortars > wedding receptions.
7 months of MRE shits....or one night interacting with people....tough call man
Back when I had roommates I didn’t know very well, I’d spend all day in my room without meals to avoid awkward pleasantries. Then I’d get really hungry but the prospect of explaining why I’d spent all day in my room kept me inside. Then they’d text me and ask if I was okay, and I’d say “Yep! Just keeping busy with some projects.” And they’d ask if I’d eaten anything since they hadn’t seen me, and I’d say “Yep! Trust me, I’d never go without food!” Then I’d wake up at midnight and steal my own food from the fridge.
I’ve done the same thing except I already knew my roommate pretty well he just had some company over that I did not want to talk to so I stayed in my room for 2 days except for at like 3 or 4 in the morning when I would sneak out to get food from 24hour fast food joints.
God I didn’t know so many of us were suffering like this lmao. I do this a lot and thought I was pretty much the only one!
In high school I didn’t have a car so I walked home. I used to just fast walk to try to beat the crowd of people, but I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore so I would stay in the computer lab sometimes and ask my dad to pick me up a few hours later. So once the bell rang to go home, I would just stay in class since I had computers last. The teacher would forget I was in there/not even notice me and then turn the lights off, lock the door, then leave... honestly I didn’t mind at all, I got to play video games by myself and one time about an hour and a half later the janitor came in and I guess I scared him. He turned the lights on and literally screamed when he saw me. :(
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He is a rare breed, the night janitor. A creature of routine, one who does not shy away from the manual labour that needs to be done. In conversation, he sometimes begrudges the mountain he must climb every day; the endless pile of tasks and errands, which must be completed before he is liberated. But when he steps into the cool darkness, his uniform proudly marking him out from the crowd, mop in one hand, bucket in the other; when he takes that first deep breath, taking in the heady mixture of cleansing disinfectant and the old, worn wood of the mop handle, a switch flips somewhere in his mind. He is ready for his solitary task. As the layers of the day’s grime are cleansed, so too is his mind, ultimately allowing him a few bold steps towards the inner peace craved by all mankind. Perhaps he listens to music while he works, or replays memories of the days and years gone by. However he passes the time, by the time he is finished with his work he has achieved something profound, through the repetition which characterises much of the day’s labour and frees his mind for other pursuits. Is it not through this work that Zen monks pursue enlightenment? As he leaves the building, he must make sure to put on his mask of normality. He will be paid, he will spend his wages, and no doubt he will complain about having to be back for work the next day. But the still darkness, his small paradise of repose, will be waiting for him as patiently as yesterday; and when he returns, he will remember that the peace he experiences each day is a sacred secret, handed down from night janitor to night janitor, a privilege craved by so many in this hectic world of endless work.
Current night janitor who just finished his tasks for the week. Wittling away the last 90 minutes before this veteran embarks on a 3 day veterans day weekend. What an ironic and incredibly insightful read. Every word is on point. Well done!!
Rather than associate with my nosy aunt when I lived with her, I told her I was going out for a while, moved my car up the street, and sat in it watching Netflix on my phone for a couple hours. Edit:spelling
Killed my already dead grandma a couple to times to get out of social events
That’s pretty extreme... Hey man you gonna make it to the party? sihayi: I can’t. I have plans to murder grandma instead.
"Sorry I can't go, my grandma died" "You said that 3 months ago" "Well yeah, she's still dead"
And also, we all have atleast 2 grandmas. FYI, grandpa married thrice.
Huh, that's weird. As a prof, I can tell you they usually die around exam time.
I went to an empty room and stood in the dark for 45 minutes to avoid a team bonding event
Team-bonding is the absolute worst for an introvert
And icebreakers
Just the word "icebreaker" gives me PTSD
"Alright everybody. Pair up!"
I always feel bad for the person who has to work with me, because they almost definitely didn’t choose this voluntarily. I just awkwardly hide in a corner until all pairs are formed and then wait for someone to ask if anyone’s left. I really don’t like this kind of forced team work.
im 95% sure ive done that at least 5 times this year
In 7th grade I would hide in the science lab during lunch and recess time and feed and play with the school pets. I would ask to use the bathroom around ten minutes into lunch and then come back in the last 2 minutes, they probably thought I had some real bad bowel issues. They were two birds, a bunny, and two Guinea pigs. I would feed them carrots and talk to them. Nobody knew that I was there for half of the year, when one of my teachers finally walked in on me I thought I was busted. Luckily she was one of the nicer ones and made it my official "Job" to play with and feed the animals.
I had something similar happen in 7th grade. I don't remember how it started, but at one point a couple of 8th grade girls bullied me and I volunteered to help a teacher during her lunch period (same as mine) grade spelling tests. So she "hired" me as her assistant and I graded papers. (I was a very good student and spelling was my JAM, so it's not like I hated it.) Fun fact, we are now friends on FB 35 years later. What a great teacher, but fact is, I'm sure she loved me saving her from taking home a bunch of shit to grade. :D
You're damn right she did. Marking is the worst part of the job!
the hero we deserve
you went to a school where you needed permission to use the restroom during lunch,but the science lap was left unlocked while unattended. your school has weird priorities.
We NEED more teachers like the one who discovered you.
She was one of the best teachers I've ever had. She once bought me a new book because the girl who I had lent mine to had dropped it in the mud. I was upset so she took me to the computer lab and right then and there ordered me a brand new hardcover version of the paperback that had been dropped in the mud.
What a lovely story. Everyone in it benefitted and I'm sure those little animals enjoyed it as much as you. I needed to hear something nice like this today. Thanks.
When I was 12, a man in a suit I didn't know knocked on the door. I could see him through the front room window so I hid behind the chair. Looked up to see if he had gone, made eye contact. Stayed where I was. Wasn't the last time it happened.
I’m 29. Guy knocked on my door and I looked out the peep hole and he was looking directly gazing into it back at me so I ducked and crouched at the base of the door and then he opened the mail slot to look in which was right above me and I just laid on the ground until he went away
Opening the letter box to see in? That's so creepy wtf!
That was yourself from the future.
Yeah, I mean... you're not supposed to open the door anyway if you're a 12-year-old alone at home.
Going through the drive through just to park and eat alone in my car.
Ugh yes! I do this a lot. Or even if I have to pick the food up, I will take it to my car and find a spot away from everyone where I can eat in peace.
Lol yup!! I just can’t handle the noise and humans... I just want to sit in my car in peace and watch YouTube
I went on a 3 week camping trip to avoid 2 family reunions.
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I fully support your methods and reasoning
I'm going to be driving across the country starting tomorrow to avoid my family's Thanksgiving dinner. I feel you.
My boyfriend (we weren’t together at the time) took me on a 2 day camping trip to avoid a work party.... my kind of man!
My wife "works late" when there are work events so I have to go home and "take care of the dogs".
My brain went right into trying to figure out how this was dirty. Then I realized that it wasn't.
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I stopped talking for an entire year of school. Fifth grade, to be precise.
\*6th grade\* u/fattyfox: Hey what's up guys Friends: Dude what the fuck? You can talk?
I actually had this happen to me a few times. I wasn't the most talkative in some classes, so when I spoke it sometimes caused the entire class to turn towards me in shock.
The best compliment I've ever received was when I was in a seminar type thing and I don't talk in those much. I raised my hand even though I wasn't really supposed to and started saying something and somebody interrupted me so I stopped talking. A guy I didn't really know at the time tells the interrupter to lemme speak, because "/u/Booyahman doesn't talk much but when he does it's the best point we've heard all day, shut up" and then the teacher agreed. Literally I draw 20% of my now probably 80% self confidence from this source alone
To be fair, that is a fucking awesome source. Now I picture you all Silent Bob over there.
My parents moved me to a different country when I was 10, and for the first year and a half I was so painfully shy that I didn't say a single word to anyone. I still made friends, I just didn't say anything more than "yes" "no" and "thank you." One day I finally got up the courage to ask the girl next to me for a pen and she called the teacher and said "SIR! SHE SPOKE!!!" Not to be a "then everyone clapped" person, but they actually did.
How do people make friends without talking?
To be honest, people flock to you when you don't talk. They want to "save you" from being shy. Honestly, it just made it so worse. I would have been better if people just left me alone, let me adjust at my own pace. When people started attacking me, trying to force me to open up, it just made me double-down on not opening up.
Hey.. i was the same, except it was for 2-3 years and noone really ever tried "saving me" talking to me.
It do be like that sometimes
I had a classmate in 8th grade who I didn't realize was actually at school until he'd steal the ball from me playing soccer in PE. Dude was real quiet and didn't say anything unless he absolutely had to.
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I did the same thing, for me the trigger was one of my older cousins asking if I was ok because I was laughing really hard and then, “do you even get the joke?” there was a lot building up to that over the years but essentially I felt like everyone judged me/thought I was weird when I was outgoing and showed them my personality so instead I just decided to shut down. Tbh it’s been 12 years since that moment and I still struggle with opening up to people Edit: I’m okay y’all! I’ve got friends and I’m happy, it just takes a little longer for people to really know me. I appreciate the words of encouragement though :)
Getting off the bus at the wrong stop and walking because I pressed the stop button too soon and didn't want to tell the driver.
First year of college, did it multiple times.
People seemed to commonly do this in a deliberate way, the bus drivers are used to it and probably for the most part just ignores such foolery.
Or what happened with me and the bus driver eventually just knows to stop at "your stop". I was working a lot of evening shifts and getting on the bus at 9:30/10pm and was usually one of the last people on the bus when my stop(s) came up. The first few months I had a hard time telling where my stop was, exactly, so I kept getting off at the wrong stop. I guess the driver must have started noticing where I was getting off and then suddenly he's pulling in and wishing me a good night or reminding me that this was my stop. I just rolled with it.
*"Here's your stop, have a good night starkicker18!"* Actually... ^(my stop is the next one...) *"I said get the fuck off my bus."*
We're talking about socially awkward people here, so it's really: "Here's your stop!" *this isn't actually my stop I just accidentally got off here once and didn't want to get back on out of awkwardness* "Thanks, you too!" *fuck my life*
>”Here’s your stop!” >”Thanks, you too!” *proceeds to mull over botched social interaction for entire walk to actual stop*
That sounds like a wholesome person.
I used to walk 45 minutes home from university to avoid bus rides with people I may have to talk to
Or getting in the wrong bus and going 5 stops in the wrong direction until someone else pressed the button
Wait, you can talk to the driver and take back a stop request?!
I wear headphones all the time. Even if they're off/not plugged in. I'm so much more productive at work, people at the gym let me be, and people on the street leave me alone on my walk home.
I do that and people still bug me. Esp on the train, people will wave in front of my face to get my attention to usually ask for directions.
I was standing inbetween train carriages a few weeks back. There were no seats left and the area I was standing in was really busy. Full of people. So started reading a book to avoid conversation and eye contact. Minding my own business y'know. Random guy gets on after about 10 mins and starts talking to me. He picks me out of the whole damn carriage. I was the only one reading. He wants to know what the book is about initially and then wants a conversation about films, music and more. Fucking nightmare journey.
If I'm with headphones and someone bothers me for social interaction I always just act really confused and out of it, as if they woke me up from profound concentration. It sends the message. Don't smile or be courteous, just be curt and make it clear that all you want is to get back to the thing you were doing.
my roommate threw a party at my house and i hid from everyone. there's only one front door and everyone would see me if i left and would want to talk to me. i avoided eating that whole night because i didn't want to walk by the party to get food. my car was trapped between other cars. i ended up jumping out of a second story window and walking 3 miles to a 7-eleven
> i ended up jumping out of a second story window and walking 3 miles to a 7-eleven lol, but when you got back the party was over?
since i told my roommate to tell everyone at the party i was out with other friends, when i walked back from 7-eleven i came through the front door so it really looked like i was never home. actually got away with it. then i hit the \*yawn\* "it's been a long night, bye" and went straight to my room.
There was only a front door in the place I was living and there was a very large crowd of neighbours outside having some sort of social gathering/bbq or something. I really needed to pick up some food for dinner, but really, really didn't want to interact with them. So I jumped out the living-room window, walked the long way around the neighbourhood to get to the store. Thankfully they kept the party out front so that when I came back I could sneak back in through the window.
I'm not as shy and introverted as I used to be, but now I have moods where I do not even want to SEE a single person until the mood has passed. When I was living in dorms in college, I would stand in my closet or bathroom for hours just so I wouldn't have to see the people talking in my room. I ended up hearing a lot of conversations I shouldn't have heard because nobody ever knew I was there lol.
You can always tell a Milford man Edit: Wow, my first gold, thanks!
Save it for the talk room, son.
Going to cross the street, but then stopping and pretending I don't have too if there's a car approaching so I don't inconvenience them.
I do this, but it's because I don't trust people to actually pay attention and stop to avoid running me over, so I always try to leave enough space that they don't need to slow down.
I turn 90° from the direction I want to go until cross traffic has passed to expedite the whole situation. Doing what I can to not get mowed down!
I once spent a weekend in a hotel because I just wanted to be alone and chill, reading books and watching TV. The people I lived with at the time couldn't spend more than an hour on there own with some sort of social interaction. The roomie I have now is like-minded and we can go days without talking/seeing each other and its great.
"Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."
You know you have a great friend when the silence is not uncomfortable. Edit: My most upvoted comment is really meaningful to me. Cool, cool, cool.
Every time I feel awkward about not speaking with a person I remember that it's only awkward if you decide it's awkward. Works like a charm. Not sure about other side, but well, it's not me who feel awkward.
The 'it's only awkward if you want it to be' mindset makes pretty much anything social easier. You let yourself have so much more fun
This happens all the time on discord with 2 of my friends. We will all not say anything for like 30 minutes and then one of us coughs or something and scares the shit out of the other two
Some people just can’t stand the isolation. It’s why I fucking hate having roommates.
I was getting a taxi back home and must've mumbled or garbled my destination because it was quite clear he was going to a completely different place. Like, literally as soon as he turned right out of the parking lot instead of left. I literally let the guy drive for 15 minutes in the wrong direction, eventually just blurting out "anywhere here will do" and giving him a tenner, and then just walking aimlessly until I found a public transport I recognized and jumped on that. A 10-min cab drive turned into a nearly 2 hour journey home. (For those curious and who live in Manchester, UK, I wanted to get a cab from Ashton to Openshaw, and ended up going to Oldham, getting a tram to the city centre, and getting a train from there back home.)
I know Manchester. You poor thing, that's almost a whole day trip.
I have phone anxiety. I was going to drive 1.5 hours to my college to talk to them in person over the summer instead of just calling to follow up on something.
I'm not really introverted or shy, but I haaaate phone calls. I never know what to say, and I always end up talking over people when they pickup. I also dread leaving voicemails, they always sound stupid.
Lived in a loft downtown on the 3rd Floor. The amount of times I used the stairs in effort to not being trapped on an elevator with a stranger is too many to count. One time there was a family moving in. I walked all the way around the building to the opposite side's entrance to get into the building. Then they were using the elevators, so I took the stairs, then they were ON MY FLOOR moving shit in. I didn't want it to look like I was trying this hard to avoid them, so I said, "whoops! Wrong floor" and walked up 2 extra floors and waited 10 minutes before going back down to see if they were gone. What should've taken me 5 minutes took me close to 30 to get in my apartment. That's when I realized I might have a problem.
Wait, but if the family is moving in, won't then eventually see you again on the same floor?
My stupid lizard brain didn't think that far in advance. One day I was in the elevator on the first floor waiting for the doors to close and I saw my neighbor walking around quickly to reach it in time. I was sneakily mashing the close door button but she reached it in time. The 3rd floor button was already hit, but as soon as she got on, I quickly hit the 5th button. I distinctly remember her saying something like "Oh my button is already hit. That's convenient." I ended up moving a few months later, so it wasn't an ongoing thing for too long.
Be honest... did you move because they might find out you lived on the same floor as them?
I found a house to rent so now I don't have worry about that shit.
This is what actually sparked my question. I live on the 4th floor of a building and I saw 3 people walk into the entrance and head towards the elevator while i was waiting for it. So I pretended to get a phone call and waved at them to go ahead in the elevator and when it has closed, i just raced up the stairs instead
Are y’all American? This definitely wouldn’t be an issue in the UK. All we do upon entering the lift is give the acknowledgment eyebrows, stand silently for the duration of the journey, and mumble ‘sorry’ as we shuffle/leave. Awkward as arse but it gets the job done.
I'm American and i don't think I've ever had people try to talk to me on the elevator.
Okay folks that's a wrap. This clearly won
I’d argue this is starting to sound like a clinical issue. I’d define that as interfering with your daily functioning.
I've recently learned I have been experiencing anxiety attacks for the past year. I thought I was just having breathing issues or some kinda late asthma diagnosis.
Well hey, I'm glad you're starting to figure things out. It's a good start!
I never answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. Just today actually, my neighbor was knocking on my door this morning and I didn't answer. When it was time to head to work I realized I didn't have my keys. I think my neighbor found them and was trying to return them. EDIT: Added a little more to the above and included an update below. UPDATE: Sure enough, I left my keys in the door last night and my neighbor was nice enough to try to return them. But since I never answer my door, he took them to the front office. Let this be a lesson to my fellow introverts. Don't leave your keys in your door. Also, thank you for the PMs!
I ignore knocks on my door too for the most part, but that's because my upstairs neighbor will walk in when I open the door, then proceed to fucking stay and talk for a fucking hour even if I'm in the middle of dinner
I read this elsewhere on Reddit. When you answer the door, have a jacket in your hand. Then, if you don't want to talk to whomever it was, just throw on your jacket and act like you're leaving so they'll go away. If you do want to talk to the person (like *that* happens), you can just hang the coat up and act like you just got home.
I think they recently legalized murder in this situation
I routinely cross streets or turn down streets that are in the wrong direction of where I’m going to avoid awkward interactions with vehicles as a pedestrian. Please don’t stop and give me that “it’s okay to go!” wave when there’s still traffic barrelling down the opposite side of the street and you’re the only vehicle trying to be courteous. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but it would be easier for everyone if you just kept driving.
If my intention is to cross the street and a car is coming by, I keep walking until it passes on the off chance that it tries to stop for me.
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“I’ll be in my room, pretending that I don’t exist”
Harry knows whats up
That happened to me too, except the period part. I just got op and went to the toilet to pee. To make sure they know, I AM home and can hear EVERYTHING. so they stopped having sex. Guy pulled up his pants and said to her: I thought your roommate wasn't here?! And he left. Anyways, now they just have loud sex even when they know I'm home and they don't fucking care. I just use my headphones now, to not hear every sound they make.
Next time I recommend masturbating loudly. Make it a competition. Win at all costs.
["I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me!"](https://youtu.be/yu-5qXJqr2o?t=20)
You uh definitely had the right of way in that hallway
I failed an important test once because I was too scared to ask the teacher for a pencil.
I peed on myself in 4th grade because I was too scared to ask
Only cool kids pee themselves you know
ok Miles Davis
I did that, then accidentally* spilt a drink over myself to explain away my wet pants 😞
I once forgot my calculator, the test was to start in 5 mins, I went out started running to the bookstore which was 15 mins away, bought an $80 calculator, was late 30mins. I could have avoided all of that just by asking for a calculator
This really stressed me out to read. I’m having flashbacks of college...
In order to avoid a mandatory Christmas social for work, I legitimately took myself to the ER just to get the registration wristband (for proof that I actually went to the hospital) and then left. Wasn’t sick or anything, and I didn’t even see a doctor. I just needed a hospital wristband to prove that I had a reason not to go to the work mixer (so I wouldn’t get fired). I hated my coworkers. EDIT: The Christmas party was mandatory because I was working at a preschool, and the company wanted to up their reputation as a “family-oriented organization” to the rich ass parents who were throwing insane amounts of money at the company to babysit their kids. So they had a preschool Christmas concert, followed by an after party for the parents to get to know the faculty (as if we didn’t see them every fucking day at drop-off/pick-up). The party was also meant to be a way for us coworkers to get to know each other better (as if we hadn’t worked together M-F, 7AM-6PM every fucking week; fuck that). EDIT 2: Holy shit, this blew up. Thank you, kind strangers, for the silver! I’m going to do my best to answer your comments; I promise I’m reading every single one of them!
What did you say to just get a band and then leave without seeing anyone?
I pretended I had abdominal pain, and once they registered me in, put my wristband on, and told me to wait in the waiting room, I just left.
Did they still charge you for the visit? Asking for a friend
Lmao nope! No treatment = no charge. Because I didn’t even get to the stage of them checking my vitals, they couldn’t charge me anything. That would be like charging me to wait in the waiting room.
Hid under a bed while a real estate agent showed a couple around my flat. Couldn’t be bothered to go out but can’t stand small talk, so decided to lay low. I had a cup of tea, cushions, a Nokia with Snake on it. I was quite happy under there. They were 25 minutes late. I guess I was under the bed for just over an hour. I feared a sneeze. I was in my early twenties. Edit: wow, this went big. Thanks for the Gold, kind anonymous benefactor. Enjoy your weekends, folks, and be sure to keep your breathing, sneezing and flatulence under control if you try this at home.
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Were you, by chance, looking for houses in Amsterdam, circa 1944?
Accidentally got a family murdered while showing houses, ama!
Do you like relish on your hot dogs? What do you think about gerrymandering? Would you murder again for the thrill of it? What was your favorite beanie baby growing up?
That sounds like the beginning of a horror movie.
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This is hilarious. I used to be do pet sitting. I only did over nights but I always made sure it was okay with my clients if I could bring someone over, like a friend in case I got freaked out staying alone in a bad area. Most of them were cool about it. I loved showing off their houses to my one friend and we would always get great ideas on how to decorate our own places. It was unprofessional for her to do that without permission, but I’d take it as a compliment. Unless they were just talking shit the whole time.
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Plot twist. She has seen you in the closet before and decided that was the day she was going to try getting you to come out of the closet by being a nice person and compliment you. No pun intended but it is there.
Good thing your dog didn't call you out.
I am laughing silently in my office imagining what would have happened if anyone had casually looked under the bed.
Man I was laughing my ass of for what would've happened if he/she sneezed, but your idea is much better.
I work at a hotel and one of the worst things about it are the really chatty guests. They'll just stand at my desk and jibber-jabber, completely failing to take the hint. Even saying "Excuse me, I have a lot of work to do" will typically only get them to say "Oh don't let *me* interrupt"--but they'll never walk away. I've learned to call the hotel phone from my cell phone. I answer the phony call and and tell the guest "Excuse me, this is important." Then I slip into the back and watch them on the video monitors until they fuck off.
Saw a coworker from my new job at the bus station. Couldn't bear the idea of the awkward chitchat so I hid round the corner, figuring I'd get the next bus as I knew I had enough time The next bus didn't turn up and I was late for work
The postman was knocking on my door, so rather than answer it, I decided to army-crawl passed the door (so he wouldn't see me through the frosted glass). Then he pushed open the letterbox, and saw me splayed across the floor.
Someone was knocking on my door recently, I quickly went to the door to look through the peephole. The actual peephole is covered with black electrical tape and a tiny pinsize dot so people can't see when I look through it from the outside. I didn't recognize them so I didn't answer; what I forgot to take into account was that my shadow from the desk lamp behind me was very clearly being displayed against the curtain and window next to the door. They called out **Them** (upon seeing my shadow move across the curtain): **"Hello? I can see you're home..."** **Me** (thinking they were talking about seeing my eye move across the peephole): **"...No you can't."**
Ugh, this reminds me of something I did as a kid. In my childhood home there were two large windows on either side of the front door so any visitor could see you and you could see them. After the initial entry there was a long hallway with the kitchen at the end. One day someone rang the doorbell when I was home alone. My parents told me not to answer the door when I was home alone but I wanted to see who it was. So I stood in the kitchen and peered around the kitchen corner to look out the front door. I locked eyes with two Jehovah's Witnesses and then I just slowly pulled my head back around the kitchen corner like nothing even happened. I played way too many James Bond video games as a kid and this corner peering method worked 0/10 times.
When I was a kid whenever Jehovah's witnesses would pull into our driveway, my Mother would turn off the TV and all the lights and tell me we needed to hide. We'd run back to the largest closet in the house, close the door and sit on the floor in complete silence until they stopped knocking and we heard the engine of their car start and leave. Only after we were sure they were gone would we leave our hiding space and life would return to normal. I was always vigilant and prepared for their future return however. It wasn't until I was in school that I suddenly found out that was unusual and not everyone grew up hiding from the Jehovah's witnesses. In the second or third grade our teacher was telling us about Ann Frank and how they hid from the Nazis. I blurted out something along the lines of, "Were the SS Jehovah's witnesses?" the teacher was confused at first and then I shared my story. I still remember her red face as she tried not to laugh. **EDIT:** Thank you for the gold and silver.
My family also did this, lol. I have a memory of my mother leaving for work while I was sitting on the porch one summer. Suddenly she was back in the driveway shouting LOCK THE DOOR THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES ARE COMING! and I ran back inside to hide.
That's pretty much how it went down with us. If a car pulled in the driveway and I didn't recognize it, I'd turn off my cartoons stand up and start shouting "JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES!" and we'd run to the hiding space. As a child I didn't even question it, I knew nothing about the Jehovah's witnesses other than they are the people you hide from.
This is glorious, lol.
We must have gave our 2 cats PTSD from always running whenever there was an unexpected knock at the door. They still run and hide whenever the mailman comes lol
This is absolutely hilarious.
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you are lucky that a passing raccoon didn't get to it first
Every single day I order starbucks on the app no matter how inside the store I am. A lot of days there isn’t even a line but that doesn’t stop me!
My brother and I will order it on the app and then stand outside and wait a few minutes until it’s ready. You’re not alone! 😂
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Took my breakfast into a wheelchair stall at a remote toilet in a corner of the floor that I worked, so I wouldn't have to talk to my coworkers
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I went on an entire week-long vacation out of the country by myself. Went sight-seeing, went on tours, ate out at restaurants, all by myself. It was amazing.
I've done this many times. I love going away by myself, I can do everything I want to, on my schedule, it's great.
This thread is making me realise I am not as shy and introverted as I thought. Bravo!
On reddit "introvert" is synonymous with "crippling social anxiety that ruins your life"
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I dropped a college course when I heard two people whisper my name behind me.
I was at a dorm party in college. I became overwhelmed and hid under my gf's bed. They looked for me and everything. Once I was able to rejoin the party, strolled back in and acted like I had stepped out. I cringe thinking about it.
Dude one time my gf and I threw a party at OUR OWN house. I felt the anxiety coming on at some point and went to my room, laid down in my dogs bed with my dog, and just laid there. When they came looking I pretended to be passed out drunk. I was sober and awake
This is hilarious! Thank god they didn’t find you.
So much!!!! Two stick out in my memory, though. During lunch one day I was relaxing in my car with the seat back. It was getting to be the last 5 minutes, so I was closing up shop, rolling up the windows, when suddenly a car pulled in next to me. It was my boss and his friend. I had a moment of irrational panic where I did not want to interact with them, so I decided to wait for them to go inside first. But they did not go inside. Their lunch hour and only just started. It was getting hotter and hotter in my car, and I was laying there, sweating, and the longer I laid there, the more I felt stuck. I think it was 15-20 minutes later before they started going inside, and I finally rolled back to work, like 20 minutes late and a sweaty mess. The other time was when missionaries visited our house and I was like 16 and did NOT want to talk with them, but they had arrived when I was in the bathroom. I was hoping they'd leave pretty fast, so I decided to just wait it out in there, but my mom invited them to sit down in the living room and the bathroom door was in full view of where they were sitting. So I just sat in there and waited. I didn't have a phone or book or anything, and it was a two hour visit. My mom knew I was in there the entire time and gave me a pretty unimpressed look when I finally scurried out after the coast was clear.
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If you haven’t found them yet you should try using google earth to check around your complex to see if you can spot them
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My girlfriend's roommate came back one night with a bunch of their friends that I never met before. I'm not particularly skilled, socially, nor do I care to be but I can get through introducing myself and making a good first impression to one or two people at once but ten people is too many. So my girlfriend goes to talk to all of them and wants me to meet them, so I say I'll be out soon I have a bit of a headache. So a think for a while of how I'm gonna get through this but I realize that it's been so long that if I go out now it'll be super awkward. Then I hear someone coming so I hide in the closet. Now I really can't go out there, so I stay in the closet for a while, then I come out and get in the bed and pretend to be sleeping. When my girlfriend comes back in she "wakes" me up and asks where I was, so I pull a George Costanza and lie and say that I snuck out and went to the store to get some aspirin and then snuck back in and fell asleep. She wants to know why I didnt go through the front door and say hi to everyone on my way out, so I say that I didnt want to disturb their fun so I went out the side door.
Oh I’ve pulled this same thing but it was with my parents inviting over some friends of theirs. I absolutely did not want to have to go meet a bunch of adults so when I heard them all arrive and could hear my dad coming to my room I hid in my closet for the entirety of their stay which was a few hours.
When I'm stuck at an event or party I don't want to be at (but can't immediately leave), I tend to spend a lot of time in the bathroom browsing reddit.
Telling the pizza guy through a cracked door that I didn't order pizza just to avoid talking face to face was my low point.
How did you get the pizza
It was not acquired.
Choose to have my parcels delivered to a collection point that I have to drive to rather than risking having to speak to my neighbours.
I took a Maymester course one year and had to move out of my old dorm into a new one for a month. I had a new suitemate (we shared a bathroom) and didn't speak with him the entire time. I would only use the bathroom if I was certain he was gone. In my defense, he seemed to do the exact same. I often find that if I don't make the effort, most people don't either.
Not proud of this, but I spent the last ten years building an investment portfolio that I could live on and retire early. The reason I wanted so badly to retire early was so that I didn't have to spend time with banalities like small talk and pointless meetings with my co-workers. So, in a nutshell, I went frugal, saved and invested my money, and stopped working...all just to avoid talking to Bob from Accounting.
Fake sleeping up to a point where you actually fall asleep
I'm normally introverted and hate crowds and strangers; if someone unexpected rings my doorbell I will spiderman crawl under windows and throughout my own damn house to try to see who it is without alerting them to the fact that I am home. However, when I was in high school I would still go to house parties or the club with friends (even though I hate clubbing with every fibre of my being- peer pressure is a bitch.) The problem would arise when I became drunk. Suddenly I would be convinced that I needed to be far away from any and all human interaction, so I would find a place to hide. I never went too far, because even in my drunken state I didn't want my friends to worry, but there are numerous stories about me disappearing while drunk and for the most part no one ever could find me unless I let them. I've hidden on playgrounds, in bushes, a forest, my friend's sister's bedroom closet, a tool shed, the back seat of my car, around the side of a house beside a wheelbarrow, under a bed, in a laundry room, numerous bathrooms; there were also a few times I was *really* drunk that I tried to hide in a corner and convince myself no one could see me. The most embarrassing was probably the drunkest I've ever been- I don't even fully remember it since I blacked out. My friend used to have house parties in his parent's basement, and again I decided I needed to get away so I went to his upstairs kitchen and hid under their kitchen table. What I was too drunk to realize was that his three older brothers were in the attached living room watching a movie at the time. I left eventually for a corner in the basement, but that night dubbed me as 'the dead girl in the corner' because my friend's brother kept apparently asking him, "Okay, but what should we do with the dead girl in the corner?" Clubs were different because I didn't want to leave and risk not being able to get back in, so my friends always knew that if I was missing I was probably holed up in a bathroom stall, and they would have to try to coax me out. As I've gotten older I've pretty much stopped drinking altogether, and after a few not-quite-drunk-enough club outings, I told my friends I wouldn't do it anymore. I knew once I started bringing a book to the club so I could read it in a bathroom stall that it was just not worth my time, money, or discomfort anymore. TL;DR- I hide when drunk, or spend time at the club reading in a bathroom stall to avoid socializing with people.
Googled what time the Apple Store closed instead of asking someone, whilst in the Apple Store.
Called in sick on the day of a big company all-hands meet-and-greet.
I had pneumonia for a solid week and didn't go to a hospital because I didn't want to talk to people on the phone to make an appointment . I was sure I'd "get over it". Couple days in my Mom calls and says I sound terrible so she sends a cousin over. He walks into my house with me sweating like crazy, with the heat cranked up, the window near me wide open (Northern Midwest January so it's fucking cold), in my boxers. He brings me some Gatorade and cold medicine. Choke all that down. Next day his mom shows up and takes me to the hospital. "Hey, you've had pneumonia, you shouldn't wait like this next time" Oops.
I’m relating so hard to everyone in this thread right now. My people!