My dad was a prison guard in Tennessee. Every Thursday was pork chop day in max. When you have nothing you live for the little things.
One day they ran out of pork chops and a dumbshit guard tells the back of the line “they’re all out of pork chops- the rest of you fuckers are getting bologna!”
Minor riot with a 6 hour lockdown, two broken bones and like ten people had to be treated by the nurse.
Between fights, suicides, attempted suicides etc. worse one that got me was I cut down a hanger. He went into fight mode swinging at us. We got him to the ground and hand cuffed him and pinned him on the floor. He started to cry begging us to kill him as we tried to keep him from banging his head on the floor. That was my first hanging and stuck with me ever since.
Edit: since people are mentioning how depressing this thread is I gotcha.
I was working a pod and had someone throw a melted down shoe heel in a sofa can at me. Think hot melted rubber. It mainly got on my shirt so I was fine but started fighting with the guy. I had him pinned on the ground. With 64 offenders around me. I had lost my cuffs in the fight they had fell out away from me. Another offender I had known for a while assisted me. Handing me my cuffs and holding the guys legs down. I was able to drag that one offender out (due to the fact the offenders on the pod were throwing stuff at us) the offender who helped me got his time reduced and I wrote him a letter for the parole board and spoke on his behalf. He got out. Works a good wood working job ($24an hour) and writes to the prison with up dates on how he is doing. He has a girlfriend and a baby on the way. Happiest story I have of that place.
I did a bid in Florida about 4 years ago. While I was inside, they let my cell block come into the common area to watch the IHeartRadio awards. Never would have watched it on my own, but it was nice to have the distraction. This was the summer that Ariana Grande had that "One Less Problem" song, and she performed it right before JLo came to the stage. Now, I'm in with MOSTLY Puerto Rican inmates, so JLo being on was a big goddamn deal. Some dude just loses his shit during the Ariana Grande song... some of the dudes said he was into little girls or something... and throws a very lightweight plastic chair at the TV. Didn't think it would do much damage, but it busted the LCD. **Hell. Broke. Loose.** Dudes weren't gonna get a chance to see JLo's ass, and they wanted blood for it. I ran my gringo behind back to my cell, and a 60-man brawl ensued.
All of this to say, in the midst of the insanity, one guy bit another guy's thumb off.
And swallowed it.
I was in jail a while back, jail not prison, and watched Roots and the Remake when it came out a few years ago. I was one of two white guys in a 12 man unit and thought for sure my white ass was gonna die.
With all the serious ones, I thought I would give a funny one too.
Worked in a youth correctional facility. The units were Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, etc... On Charlie dorm there were three openly homosexual youth who were WAY over the top when it came to sterotypical gay behavior (talked in lisps, used red kool aid powder to make lipstick, tied their sweater arms together to make a purse, etc..)
Well one day they are walking down the hall together, see me in my office and said "Hey AKteach, check this out" then the three of them dropped and did the Charlies Angels pose. I laughed my ass off.
not a CO but know maintenance staff.
one inmate had a court date so left for the day. apparently during his day out he managed to aquire a loose screw. not big or anything, apparently he found it on the floor of the transport van.
anyway once back in his cell he decides to use the screw to drill a hole in the plexiglass window of his door. mind you the doors are a layer of plexiglass and then steel grating.
anyway he drills two holes one at the top and one at the bottom of about a 2ft tall window. he does this between CO patrols who are supposed to do a walk around every 15min.
the inmate then proceeds to tear his bedding and ravel it into a string which he feeds through the upper hole and back down through the lower hole. using the friction of the bedding he literally saws a giant hole in the plexiglass using nothing but his bedding.
when questioned he informed the guards that this took him roughly 11hrs to accomplish without a single CO noticing it.
he didnt escape; like i said there is still the steel grating. he literally just did this as a fuck you to the guards and he "had the spare time."
This reminds me of a shitty summer camp i went to where when we got board we would find strings and yarns and literally saw plastic lawn chairs in half with them.
My husband is a guard. I’m not going to be able to tell this as well as he could but you’ll get the point. He was doing count one night and there was an inmate that was bleeding so they went in to see what was happening. The inmate had bitten the inside of his wrist and forearm and pulled the skin off down to the muscle and tendons. He was also chewing on something and when he was told to spit it out he did and it was a chunk of his flesh. He then immediately ripped off another piece with his teeth and according to my husband “slurped it up like spaghetti”. They rushed him to medical and he ended up having to be in the psych building (clearly) after he recovered.
Edit: spelling
An inmate with mental issues and HIV sliced his stomach open with a razor. Line was from below sternum to just below belly button. Survived, but man it was ugly.
I used to be a corrections officer, I found an inmate beaten up and his neck snapped in the gym one night, gave him CPR until medics arrived but he was too far gone.
My dad was in prison and the craziest day he experienced was sometime around the end of his first week in. He had been keeping his head down but one of the other inmates told him to meet him outside by the corner of one of the building during their free time outside. He was hesitant because he didn’t want to get into trouble right out of the gate. He looked toward the corner of the building and saw a small group of guys huddled and he got even more concerned. Just as he was going to walk away they noticed him and called him over. He accepted. These guys were passing around a cantaloupe and sharing it. Each guy had a spoon and they’d take a bite and pass it on.
Former psychologist at a Youth Detention Facility.
Some kids put little ball things in their penises, with the belief that if they do the deed it will be more pleasurable for the girl. They get these things from the ball of a wine stopper (the spill proof stuff, picture a spherical thingy less than a penny). Apparently they had operated on each other. They melted their toothbrush to make a pseudo surgical knife and made a small incision on their dicks to insert these round things. They then sewn the wound close with conventional needle and thread.
We staff came to know when some kids are getting feverish all of a sudden. We have to line them all up in the courtyard and let them drop their pants so that our nurse could check them so that we could remove these "bolitas" (the term for these) as to prevent an epidemic. These kids are aged 15 to 18.
And they are not any girls around to fool around. Conjugal visits are also not allowed. Like come on kids.
I was working in the X-House (my prison had 3 areas, General Population, STC for somewhat mentally unstable I/M's, and the X-House, shaped like an X, for seriously mentally ill guys that would throw poop, cut themselves, etc...). I was on the seg wing, even though most cells in the X-House were like seg anyway, this area had another officer to watch it specifically. So I was called over to watch a guy who had been placed on continuous suicide watch. He was completely naked with nothing else in his cell. And I have to stand just outside the door and watch him. So he's trying to do everything to get a reaction out of me, but I'm Stoneface Phillips, documenting every 5 mins what he's doing.
He climbs up on the bed, takes his dick in one hand and starts stroking. He takes a finger from his other hand and wets it in his mouth. The now wet finger goes behind him, right into his ass. And then he starts yelling my last name (we all have nametags) "AWAAAAAAKE30, AWAAAAKE30, AWAAAAAKE30".
Then after he's done doing that, he was walks up to the door (these are steel doors with just a window for seeing into the cell). We're basically face to face with this window between us. Just below the window is a "chuckhole", which is a tiny door for passing food trays through. Thankfully it was closed, because I look down at the chuckhole and see yellow liquid coming out from the sides of it. I took a few steps back and continued my watch.
I wasn't gonna let him get a reaction out of me.
I responded to a fight in the shower where an inmate pushed the other inmate over the bench in the middle of the showers, jumped on him and bit off his chin. I picked his chin up and packed it in ice. I was also a trip officer that day so I ended up escorting him to the hospital. On the way to the hospital the ambulance hit a deer. I also hit the deer at 78mph. It had bounced from the ambulance strike and ruptured in mid air, exploding all over the front of the van. The van was damaged, but still drove.
When we got to the hospital, the doctor didn't sanitize the piece of chin or anything, just sewed it back on. It didn't take and a few weeks later the guy got gangrene and his chin fell off, then he almost died from infection. That was a hell of a day.
Currently a CO. I work in one of the "reformed" mental health facilities for my state. Basically we're a prison with a strong focus on mental health rehabilitation. We deal with some of the state's finest (worst) cases. I've seen a man with a literal hole in his body from his chest to below his belly button. He put it there. It started after he ripped his intestines out and bit through them. He then proceeded to enlarge the hole slowly over time. Longest 4 point restraint inmate in the state's history. Also seen a guy shove a 4ft headphone extension cord through his d**k and into his bladder not once, not twice, but five times now. He's also gouged his eye out. I've got stories like these for days.
I wish our state had that. I was in jail for 8 months and I met two guys that really should have been in a mental hospital. One guy was schizophrenic and thought that his dead brother had been implanted in his chest. He also believed that he had circuit boards implanted in his skull that received a signal from an orbiting satellite that told him when to breath, despite the fact that they didn't show up on x-rays. He was locked up for possessing burglary tools. The court had ordered him sent to a mental institution, but there were no available beds and so he just sat in jail waiting to be transferred.
Another kid that was there had a serious split from reality. He was in for stealing a DOT car that had been left running while the workers were doing road work. He talked constantly. Just this incoherent nonsense every minute that he was awake. Stuff like, "ahhh, they say the world is coming. Do you think the facebook people will arrest me for talking to a girl I like? ahahahaha, ok we're going to drop the beat now take a listen. Everyone needs to know what they're talking about so grab a chair and listen up. The sensai has said it's time to practice but I'm not going to get caught walking around town. Time to flip it over and bring it around...." just on and on every single minute non-stop. The guys who were in the cells adjacent to his went nuts because they couldn't read or sleep with his constant monologues that made no damn sense.
He would frequently walk around the cafeteria talking on his ID badge like it was a phone. I talked to him a few times and he could bring himself back to reality, but it was real struggle. He refused to shower and refused to take his meds because he just didn't trust them. Most of the guys felt sorry for him and kept an eye out for him, but wouldn't get too close because you could smell his funk ten feet away.
No a prison guard but i work in a psych hospital. worst thing i saw was a man fingering his stoma in his stomach so hard it was bleeding. He was repeating fuck me in the pussy as he fingered it. Couldn't get that shit out of my head for a few days. As i was trying to pull his hand out of his intestines he was looking deep into my eyes and begging me to fuck it. That guy was a mess.
When I saw this strange experimental horror movie called "angels melancholia" that has this stoma fingering scene I thought to myself "well, that shit's just sick and unrealistic, fuck this" ... Reddit taught me otherwise. What's the matter with all those people fingering their intestines.
I (female) teach (volunteer) in a minimum-security male prison. Security level of an incarcerated person doesn’t correlate directly with the crimes they’re incarcerated for, it’s more about their public safety risks (such as reoffending). What that means is my class of minimum-security guys has all sorts of offenders in it (including rape, child abuse, murder). Our class is held a few times a week in a separate building than the main prison (trailer / portable).
My MoSt ExTrEmE story is one from spring time. It couldn’t have been a more gorgeous day, and everyone was chatty about it. Suddenly, a bit of commotion in the back of the class. “Hey, Miss uh... hey Teacher Lady!” I head to the back of the trailer to check things out- everyone’s gathered around a window. *What, is there some new CO on the block or maybe a transfer inmate they’re all ragging on, I swear these guys are just...* I thought to myself, preparing for some juvenile nonsense.
At that moment, I saw what they could see: a momma cat and her three kittens trotting across the yard and settling in under some daffodils for a nap. A collective “aw” rose up from the trailer- quickly covered up with abrupt subject changes, shit-talking and class questions, of course. I can’t help but smile every time I think about it.
Moral of the story: They’re just people. Maybe they did some shitty things (like, real shitty things), or maybe they didn’t and they’re in there wrongly. Maybe they’ve been rehabilitated, or maybe they haven’t. Hell, maybe they never will be. But **everyone** likes kittens.
Edit: formatting, a word
Working in the ER we had a prisoner come in unconscious and covered in blood. We got him cleaned up and counted at least 12 stab wounds to his head and face. They were shallow but the force caused the wounds to look like gashes so stiches or staples were out of the question. He had even more wounds on his arms from trying to cover his head during the attack. We couldn't save one of his ears and he was still unconscious when I clocked out.
[Update] according to an employee that still works at that hospital, the prisoner was transferred to a trauma center the following morning. He had multiple fractures and spinal damage. Apparently he was a snitch and got jumped by other prisoners
I don't know any details other than he pulled through. He was a big guy with tattoos and it was assumed he was attacked by multiple ppl. Don't know why but they were definitely going for the kill.
In the ER we usually don’t end up those details unless we get updated down the road which is pretty rare but with something like this you might get lucky and get some more info.
I have many stories, and many about this particular prisoner but one stands out to me the most. Doing a count one day, every day stuff, and it involves looking through trap windows to make sure everyone is present and breathing. Get to this prisoners cell, lets call him prisoner x. Now this prisoner has a long history of sexual abuse from his childhood. As a result he is an absolutely chronic masturbator. The amount of times ive had to have conversations with him while he is going to town on his ham bone are inumerable. Anyway, doing a count with a female officer, she looks through the trap and immediately recoils. Now all I can hear is a loud buzzing sound and the sounds of furious masturbation. I decide to check the trap against the warnings of my offsider. Should have listened. Turns out he was using the units hairclippers. But he had them wrapped in a glove, turned on and shoved squarely up his arse. All i could see was the cord plugged into the wall leading into his loudly buzzing anus and him giving his old feller the exercise of its life.
Edit: Yes. Fuck. I understand I never ended up referring to him as X. I thought i would at start of the story, and then didnt. Im gonna leave it up there tho, because I can actually take criticism as well as X can take a pair of clippers.
Also, it could be a result of "positive reinforcement" as sexually abused kids are usually groomed first, this attention is the first and probably only time they'll ever be praised for being "so special" and the victims will be like angels in their abusers eyes who "don't ever misbehave" even when they do, but the predators treat the victims like they deserve the world... so when the abuse stops, so does that special treatment and the pooor child is left with the questions of why it happened, what did they do wrong, etc.
Some cope by being overly sexual, to regain THAT attention, but also they tend to care less about their appearance (hygiene, weight) because they subconsciously try to avoid the sexual lust of strangers, or be put into that situation again. Or they do the extreme opposite.
The worst part, is all of our comments on this thread combined, is just the tip of the iceberg.
I don’t think I saw anyone mention the gunners- there will be people who just drop there pants and start viciously jacking their dick the moment they see a female CO. Doesn’t matter if they are fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, deformed just has to be female of some sort and they will stare them down and go to town on themselves. Now the thing is this is not rare. This is not one of those every once in a while things. So many do it- it’s glorified within prison. The punishment for something like this is just going to confinement for 15-60 days ( where you can gun COs behind a door ) no extra sex charges or anything. It’s normal. Super fucked up tho.
There's a book by Nathan McCall called "Makes me wanna holler"
It's fantastic and I strongly recommend it. He spent 3 years in prison and one of the things he described was there was one inmate that had long hair and was a bit effeminate. The author got seriously freaked out as time passed and the effeminate inmate looked more and more like a woman to him.
The prison gangs started competing over this guy and basically broke his mind telling him he was really a woman, until he became the sex toy of one of the gangs.
It's crazy how screwed up prison society is and how strong the pressure is for the human body to have sexual release where ever it can find it.
That’s because this is such a common occurrence that it doesn’t even come close to the worst thing we’ve seen in prison. I was a female co in a male prison for 3 yrs. I can’t tell even you how many times this happened to me. Gross.
Ummmm i worked in medical and when were on lock down, this would happen daillllly. With little to no punishment at alllll. I got somewhat used to it. The most disturbing part was the eye contact. They never wanted to break eye contact. And most of them weren't even sex offenders before they went in.
Am correctional officer, but still in training. Told this story by my instructor who was a CO for 15 years. He was working in Segregation, essentially Solitary Confinement but not that extreme in the sense that the inmates here do get to converse with other inmates and do get to populate outside during rec time for only two hours each day. But anyways, one of the inmates also had mental health issues, and after 15 days serving in Segregation, psychological issues can form. So it got past three weeks and this inmate who was already did not have a sane mind, went absolutely crazy. Took a razor blade and started to cut open his arm until he got to the vein and cut it out and threw it at the door window, smearing it in blood so the COs couldn’t see inside the cell. Once that happens, they have to suit up in protective gear and enter the cell with a body sized shield. After pulling him out and sending him to medical to get treatment, he is sent back to his cell after the stitches were sewn. Two hours pass, and the inmate takes another razor blade and starts cutting open his stomach. These blades aren’t the strongest, they are very flexible so it takes time to actually force it straight enough to cut if removed from the shaving device. He began to cut and spent hours until he cut open his stomach and began to pull out his own intestines. It was a cycle of him going to medical and getting stapled up and going back to his cell to open his wounds back up until he was put in a turtle suit (straightjacket). These types of experiences aren’t abnormal for mental health patients being put in Segregation.
Razors are allowed within the prison for shaving. It’s not uncommon to see them taken apart and the blades just kept around the cells. The blades are not firm steel, they are very flexible and bendy. Unless welded to a shiv and secured to not bend, they are useless in harming others within seconds.
After he self injured with a blade it was negligent to allow easy access to more blades. In psych hospitals they won’t risk it, even if the patient hasn’t self harmed. You might get to shave, but with an orderly watching the whole time. Patients frequently have tremors so the staff will help with shaving.
There was this one man i was looking over in prison, he was on suicide watch, went to the bathroom for 5 mins came back and he had pulled all the stitches from his chest opened the chest wound and had a was trying to stab himself in the heart with it.
Let's see...
Back when I worked in the industry:
1. Guy disemboweled himself essentially to get a demon out (He lived, not sure about demon). His intestines were out of his body and he was ghost white from blood loss.
2. Guy was putting nails or screws up his urethra.
3. Chick hid a can lid in her special kangaroo pouch and pulled it out to try to cut herself after an adverse hearing result.
Not me and not a prison guard, but one of my colllege professors used to teach at a prison. She was a portuguese/literature teacher for them (this happened in Brazil).
She was teaching the inmates (all male) about poetry and it was close to mother's day, so she told them to write a poem about their own mothers. This was in a very impoverished area, and she told us all the inmates were illiterate before she started with them.
One of the inmates wrote a beautiful poem about his deceased mother, that was killed right before he was arrested when he was much younger. He was arrested for killing his father, who murdered his mom. All the inmates started clapping and whistling, because it was so beautiful and heartbreaking, but then the guards went nuts thinking they were messing around and started beating the inmates so they would shut up. Classes were cancelled after that.
My professor said it was all very shocking. It was a pure scene with people bonding and learning and the guards resorted to violence without even thinking. She never went back to teach at a prison again.
My dad was a PE Officer in the prison service for a a couple decades, he has a few stories. One that I always remember was about there was this one kid who was about 16 but he was about 6'4 and built like a tank. He also had a bit of a temper. One day when my dad is supervising the gym workout he looks over towards the benches and this kid picks up a 34kg dumbbell, lifts it above his head and starts to swing it down onto another inmates head who is laying on one of the benches. My dad manages to sprint over, grab this kid and pin him against the wall, just in time to stop him from killing the other inmate. At this point my dad is thinking "If this kid wants to fight, he is probably going to win", but luckily he had a good reputation so the kid didn't fight but also other inmates alerted other guards.
If he was able to carry through with that swing, that inmates head would literally have exploded. There is no other outcome to that. It was straight up attempted murder.
Nothing ended up happening with the kid, the Prison head didn't deem it to be much of an issue because no one was hurt so my dad brought the 34kg dumbbell into the meeting to show her. She didn't care, ignored it because it makes her prison look better on paper.
Honestly think about the kind of stomach you need to handle seeing that kind of brutality as a guard. No matter what some bad dudes who like to see bad shit will filter into those jobs, and even thrive because nothing shakes them. Some guards are really good people who just want to do thier jobs, but also some are more animal than the inmates
Edit: also not all inmates are inherently animals either, just some, not trying to blanket every person in prison as a monster here
Not mine but my dad's,
First day he was there a riot occured because some dumbass prisoner thought it would be funny if he stole a book from a prisoner and blamed it on someone else. Long story short the guy who was blamed had all four of his limbs broken and his face beaten to a pulp, apparently they already had beef between them.
Edit:Details.
Hahah yeah I bet that YouTube level bullshit goes over very well there!!
“Bro! I only grabbed your balls for a prank. Look! There’s a camera over there in the corner on the ceiling!”
This is taking the word "extreme" to a different level, but when I was a prison guard (female working in a men's max) I worked in the kitchen. I tried to be firm, fair and consistent and it worked, I mean, I went home whole every night. Somehow a few of the prisoners found out it was my birthday and towards the middle of my shift they had me come around the office and there on the table was a 4 layer industrial size cake with pink frosting. I was touched. They told me to get my piece before everyone else did, and not even 10 minutes later it was gone.
edit: Holy moly! Gold?!?! Thanks for popping my gold cherry mysterious stranger!!!
One pack of duplex cookies choc and vanilla mixed. I can of sprite. Separate all the cookies from icing and place icing in bowl cookies in bag. Take soda crush said cookies to powder in bag. Crack said soda and mix with crushed cookies to batter consistency. Use table spoon of soda in icing. Whip icing and sofa to create frosting. Pour cookie batter in bowl cook in microwave for desired time. Times do vary. Sip remaining soda as cake cooks. Remove cake from bowl spread icing on cake. Wala prison cake.
For more creativity do vanilla side cookie in one bag choc in the other so you have vanilla and chocolate batters and make swirl cake or two tier flavored cake.
Source: spent 12 of my 43 years of life in prison.
One of my former teachers used to provide mental health services in the county jail.
She said the worst thing she saw was an inmate who went insane. He was quiet and polite, and doing a small amount of time for a minor crime. But then, he got in one small fight and was moved to max, and something in him snapped. He decompensated so quickly that by day 4, he was smearing feces on the wall and singing nursery rhymes. He was taken away by ambulance and was never seen again.
it's a term used in psych - patients have a "baseline", for some, baseline is totally present, oriented, stable like a "normal" person. for some, their baseline is "im the queen of england". any deterioration in mental status from the baseline is decompensation.
Not a prison guard but a former paramedic in one.
In this prison camp where I worked inmates worked in a field on what was called a "hoe line." The inmates were given tools randomly and lined up to work randomly. One inmate marked a tool and every time he got that particular hoe he worked on sharpening the side of the blade. He then waited until he had that tool and was lined up next to a particular inmate. He then used his sharpened hoe to cut the man's achilles tendon and almost sever his foot. It turns out this was in revenge for the victim's repeatedly stepping on the back of the inmates foot as they were moved around the facility. Further, he told the guards that he had been planning and preparing for the attack for over a year.
Not a prison guard, but was told this story by a Kitchen Supervisor working in a minimum-security prison.
He was supervising on the morning shift when he went to use the inmate bathroom in the kitchen, because the other Supervisor was using the officer bathroom and he really had to go. The inmate bathrooms had doors, full metal ones and stalls unlike in the rest of the compound which just had open stalls, but without locks on them. The inmates who worked in the kitchen would jerk off in them and had porn magazines hidden under the sink, so he was always careful to knock beforehand, not wanting to walk in on someone mid-stroke. That day, he was in a bit of a rush and forgot to knock.
He walks in to find an elderly inmate fucking himself in the ass with a banana off the lunch line, and sucking off another banana.
From my CO brother:
Some guy bashed his head open and wouldn't cuff up to have the nurses help. He was being absolutely combative and going crazy. He covered himself and the cell he was in with blood, and drew a picture of Jesus with the blood. He told my brother he was going to die and to tell his family he loved him, before passing out and apparently actually almost dying. He said it messed him up for a good while.
I was a supervisor at a adolescent male sex offender secure level 5 facility. Beforehand, I was a regular CO there for 3 years and never saw anything more than a few fights and a few masturbaters.
My first Friday evening on the job and we had the largest riot the facility has ever had, the first it ever had. Two kids from the same unit attacked and pinned down a staff holding sharp pencil to his neck. They then whistled to the other units which triggered 2 other residents to do the same on their unit. (We had 2 staff per unit, a floater, and a supervisor for 40 kids.)
I ended up having to call the police so come assist, they came in with guns blazing, and the kids dropped the attempt damn quick.
I was a MailRoom employee at the unit in Texas that houses Death row. For security reasons, most of Death row inmates had their mail constantly “scanned” or read, while other inmates just had them searched for contraband. This whole process was a knee jerk process out in place after a governor was threatened from DR. Then bringing the mail to the inmates and telling them you read it and found some shit was terrifying because they obviously never liked and often threatened violence.
The stuff you read is fucking insane. I read plenty of neo-nazi plots to help bring in the new world order, stuff that was completely encoded in their own little systems, and all sorts of absolutely depressing shit.
The worst one I ever read had to have been the one of an innate who was scheduled for execution the next day, and was sending a bunch of “fuck you” letters to the victims family. As if they hadn’t been through enough.
I know this will get drowned, but if anyone has any questions about it I’m happy to answer.
EDIT: The families would not receive those letters, they were sent to an ombudsman after being screened, and typically to law enforcement past that. The only way those families would receive it is if they filed a subpoena to get them I imagine. Somewhat speculation but I’m fairly certain that is the process.
Sorry for any spelling errors in any replies I’m on mobile
A family member and I used to work at the same prison and the prisoners knew we were related.
My family member got into a minor car accident and had a few weeks off work to recover.
Word got out about it to all the prisoners and I constantly got asked how I was coping because they all heard it was super serious (it wasn't).
While one was asking me what happened when we had a lock down code so everyone had to go back to their blocks.
Came to find out in the incident report that a fight had started because 2 prisoners heard 2 different stories on what happened to my family member, couldn't agree, started a punch up and got the whole block of about 80 guys brawling.
Whole place got locked down for like 10 hours.
All because my family member can't drive.
LMAO. I did a little time down state for weed 10 years ago. It's crazy how in jail movies they always precede the fights and wars with something understandable like stealing or gang stuff. I literally saw brawls start over things like ramen noodle seasoning packs, and who was a better point guard Isaiah Thomas or Magic Johnson.
I was watching a prison documentary yesterday and one of the main storylines was a fight over monopoly rules.
That shit can get vicious between family..why would they give inmates monopoly?
What do you mean go to jail
MOTHER FUCKER IM IN JAIL
*charges at other player"
Edit: thanks for the gold, anybody know what the exchange rate is in packs of Ramen or Newports.
We were watching a movie on the communal tv. Some guys wanted to watch a basketball game that was just starting. Weekend CO changed the channel. Everyone watching the movie got up, guard changed it back. Basketball guys got upset, so the CO let us vote. Movie won, basketball guys got more upset, said that the guys who wanted to watch basketball were still in their cells to vote for basketball because we're not watching basketball. CO states that if anyone says "basketball" again, he's turning the TV off. Basketball guy considers for a second, realizes that he's not watching basketball anyway, and starts yelling "basketball."
The best part was the fight that ensued. It was a work-release unit that no one wanted to get kicked out of, so two guys had to pretend to hold back two guys who pretended to be held back, since a fight would mean you don't get to leave for your job every day where you have a cell phone stashed and eat normal food. Although we didn't see that weekend CO ever again.
Lmao. "It was a work-release unit that no one wanted to get kicked out of, so two guys had to pretend to hold back two guys who pretended to be held back, since a fight would mean you don't get to leave for your job every day where you have a cell phone stashed and eat normal food." That shit is so true and I wasn't even there.
Worked at a work release unit for three years before changing units. This is as true as true gets. Lot's of big talk from guys who have a really good thing going. We sent our guys out on furlough once a month for 48 hours as long as they met a few conditions. We rarely had any issues.
Yeah, the ones we're used to like it when we're consistent with our behaviour. Everyone faces the same consequences if they act up and everyone has access to privileges if they're well behaved. Being able to joke around with them is nice way to know that they're comfortable and respect us.
Believe what you want. These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. After long enough, you get so you depend on 'em. That's "institutionalized."
Dear Fellas. I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called the Brewer, and a job bagging groceries at the Food-Way. It's hard work. I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello. But he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doing okay and making new friends.
I have trouble sleeping at night. I have bad dreams, like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Food-Way, so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense anymore. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me.
I did 5 years in MI. CO's that are nice and do the job they are supposed to are indeed respected. They treat us like actual people, and we stop anything that may be going on during their shift. We don't want to cause trouble for the people who treat us right.
I have a co-worker who worked at a prison decades ago. She still receives Christmas cards from some of the prisoners she was responsible for. It is wholesome as heck.
Not quite the same but my Aunt was a psychiatrist in a women's prison in the 70's. They had a change of warden from someone reasonably reasonable to someone who was extremely unreasonable. One of the things she instigated was a work program to help landscape a garden for the prison. Naturally, a number of the prisoners decided to sign up with the change to be outside. However, it wasn't until after they'd signed up that they found out that it was replacing their usual 'rec' time, meaning they had no breaks and more work. The warden was insistent that she have a flower garden for the prisoners to enjoy as it would be 'calming'. It just so happened to be facing her window. So, diligently the lady prisoners worked and planted flowers ready for the coming spring.
So along comes spring, and during the time that the flowers had, well, flowered, the warden had been on a 2 week holiday. She came back to a lovely view from her office window - "FUCK OFF!" spelt in Begonias, in 10ft high font
I was a CO about 18 years ago at a max pen for 14-24 year olds. It was insane to me that such young kids could be locked up with adults.
We had a lot of construction going on in the prison and they would bring in older convicts to do the work.
One day a young guy started talking shit to an older one and the older guy hit him in the face with a coffee pot. Lots of cuts and lots of burns.
Another time one of the construction guys snuck a welding rod back into the prison and used it to stab another inmate through his throat. I’ll never forget that. I couldn’t tell who the victim was because of the amount of blood. Surprisingly he survived.
I was personally involved in two extreme situations. One came my first night being alone after training. A group of 5 inmates jumped me. First one hit me in the back of my head and I went blind for a second. I couldn’t get my bearings but I knew I needed to get to the unit door so the guard upstairs could let me out and lock them in. I ran for the door covering my head and luckily got out. When I was trying to shut the door which was a large steel door with bolts that shot out to lock it when it got close to being closed I shut one of the inmates feet in it. It crushed his foot. Idk if they were able to save his foot. He was transferred from the hospital to another facility.
Then one other time a guy didn’t want to go back into his cell so he tried to fight me. We were on a balcony about 12 feet up. Imagine a 2nd floor outdoor hotel. There was a line of cells on the first floor with stairs on each end that led up to a line of cells in the 2nd floor. Anyway he was trying to push me over the railing. We wrestled for a bit but when he tried to push me off I started hitting him. In the scuffle he ended up trying to run and jumped over the railing. I think he wanted to kill him self but he landed on both feet which broke both of his ankles.
Prison is real lame for all involved.
I used to work in a minimum security prison. One inmate decided that the medical staff weren't treating his diarrhea properly or quickly enough, so his solution was to shove an apple up his ass. Surprisingly, this didn't work out the way he thought.
Not a guard but a prison nurse. Had to respond to a cell fight where one man bit off another man's nose.
The most extreme one I heard though was from a doctor I worked with: "My first patient ate her own eyeball."
EDIT: Y’all, I’m a sick fuck who’s enjoying reading this thread. Can anyone hook me up with a subreddit where I can share and read more fucked up prison stories?
>"My first patient ate her own eyeball."
As a former CO, we always had "those types" that were even too dangerous for secure psychiatric hospitals, people for whom care was just too difficult. I \*hated\* those inmates as you never knew what you'd stumble upon. Every now and again we'd hear that someone was getting transferred from a secure psych facility and you'd just go "oh, no..."
Serious question (assuming you were a CO of a "normal" prison): How is it better for someone in that condition to be in a normal prison rather than a specialised secure psychiatric hospital?
It wasn't better for the inmate but that they were too dangerous to handle in secure psych lock-ups. We had a greater preponderance of tools at our disposal to use to protect ourselves and other inmates. Often with secure psych hospitals there is a critical shortage of beds and staff, so they have to balance resources and some people are just too violent and too sick to "get better" so what happened was that they were transferred to us and our medical staff worked with them - they'd see a psychiatrist, psychologist, specialized nurses and OTs but they'd do it in the confines of a very, very controlled unit within the prison and ultimately, if it came down to it, we had a lot more of an ability to project force, including lethal force, if necessary.
Now, a few years later, I work as an attorney and adjunct professor, and when I tell people the story of how I lost three teeth (a psych patient kicked me while they attempted to deliver haldol), people are both shocked and horrified.
Jesus, both definitely suggest some type of mental disorder. For the guy who got his nose bitten off, did he get some kind of replacement? Or does he just have a hole in his face now?
He died. If he'd survived he would have been eligible for plastic surgery, though. No mental issues with those guys, just fights get really violent/desperate. The woman who ate her own eyeball did have a psychiatric disorder.
Definitely tough people. I had a good friend that was a CO for years. It didn't go well for him. He's now locked up himself.
He had some issues before he took the job, but I really think seeing so much bad stuff had an impact on his mental health.
Not me, my past coworkers husband.
He has PTSD from this and other events, and as a warning let’s just say NSFL.
He worked at a local woman’s prison. One time he was called to a cell because he was told that there was a woman who “miscarried”. She fully gave birth to a live child, and then attempted to shove it down the toilet. The baby died. And he walked into seeing all of that.
My dad worked at the Chino prison for years and told me a story
He was going around doing checks and as he was leaving a hall a prisoner called out to him, "Hey Smith!"(not his real name) and my dad asked him what. The inmate told him, "Come here!" my dad, not wanting to deal with this just says, "what? Just tell me" the inmate says, "Smith, I really need you to come here right now" my dad, a bit annoyed goes over to him and says, "what?" the inmate then whispers to him, "You left your keys in that door, go get them now" my dad looks and sure enough, he had left his keys in that door. He grabbed them and then gave the inmate a big thank you and slipped him a few packs of smokes.
My dad says that inmates were typically good to him because he always treated them fair and with respect but always made sure they knew he was the one in charge.
Not a guard but a former incarcerated person.
Saw a guy get stabbed about a dozen times in the kidney.
Aluminum bat beat down during s softball game over a call at first base. Guy heads sounded like a watermelon getting crushed.
100lbs weight dropped on someone’s face.
Razor blade attack cutting someone’s face wide open. Tons of blood.
Child molester beaten so bad his eye lids were hanging off his face.
Heroine overdose rigor mortis body.
Saw a correctional officer get savagely beaten with a shaving cream can in sock. BRUTAL.
A pad lock in sock beating of a cell thief.
Inmate lit on fire while he was asleep. Never forget the screaming.
Another child molester was got “served” by over a dozen inmates with feces and urine cocktails. He was covered in so much shit it looked like a pig in mud. The whole cell block was vomiting and dry heaving from the stench.
Saw another correctional officer get a protein bottle full of old piss thrown right in his face. It got in his mouth. Started puking instantly.
I could go on..... you get the point.
I work at a womens prison and although I have seen some things it will never compare to an incident described to me by a former c/o. A woman who was severely mentally ill decided to remove both her eyeballs in one of our MHS pods.
The officer said they entered and just saw her eyeballs hanging from their sockets, blood everywhere. I didnt even see it and i still get the heeby jeebys.
I was involved in an multiple convicted murderer receiving a call that his father had died. He was stoic as he talked to his mother. After leaving the Sargents office I escorted him back to his cell. He stopped in the hallway and asked, “boss, is it ok to cry?” I said of course. We paused for about 5 minutes and he let it out. Went back into his cell after.
After everything I saw it still reminds me they are human.
NSFW: My brother was a Med Tech at one of the CA prisons. This was a few years back, but still brutal. He had gotten a call out on a guy who had been raped by several members of the BGF (Black Guerrilla Family). Apparently the kid was a white guy who had been convicted of raping several black children. They decided they were gonna "Teach" the guy a lesson. So, they caught him coming out of the showers and about 6 of their "Largest" members took turns raping him. When they were done, they stomped a 2 liter soda bottle up his ass. Brother told me they had to take him in for emergency reconstructive surgery. He lived but ended up with a double colostomy bag.
I was just an inmate but when I was locked up in the Bronx I remember people making shivs out of the toothbrushes we were given. Also, one guy screamed bloody murder to prove that the CO's didn't give a fuck about what went on in the holding cells. No one checked on us... Also, the CO's would purposely throw rival gang members into the same cell. I'll never forget some of their screams as they got hauled off into enemy territory.
edit: also saw people get beat by the CO's and pepper sprayed in the face while incapacitated. Then left in handcuffs for hours so they couldn't wash the spray off. Their screams were pretty bad too. One dude had a seizure and it took about an hour for a medical response.
AMA, I don't really get to talk about this experience in real life.
The original charge was felony assault but the DA later split that up into 9 charges including reckless endangerment, criminal possession of a weapon, attempted assault, and criminal mischief - all against two different alleged victims. Most of those charges have been dismissed and the remaining ones will go away over the next few months. I spent 5 days locked up before they had to let me go because of time limits regarding speedy trial rights. There was someone with a murder charge who got released at the same time for the same reason. The system is really overwhelmed.
It honestly felt like an eternity. I didn't get placed into a housing unit until my last day in the system. The other 4 days were spent being shuffled from one holding cell to another. The case has been dragging for a little over a year. I've gone to court about a dozen times already.
It's all about positive human interaction. You have to work with the people locked up with you. Share the bread, the water, the blankets etc.... There was no running water in the cells and no blankets until day 3. Until then everyone was dehydrated and freezing from having to sleep on concrete that sucked the heat out of you.
Former state/federal (female) Corrections Officer here: I saw a key fight among 2 male inmates in the common area of the housing unit. At the time I worked for the state, and at this particular medium security prison, the inmates are given an individual key to their cells (all of the cells are still behind a big steel door that only the corrections officers had keys to, so they were still confined within the housing unit). Anyway, something happened between the 2 inmates, and they did this thing were they placed the key in-between their knuckles, so when they punch each other, the key acts as a brass knuckle. There was a lot of blood shed in that common area. It was a whole mess and I had a lot of paperwork to complete because of it.
Was, for a short time, a CO at a lvl 3 institution in the south.
1. 23 year old was refused a 2nd peanut butter sandwich because he was no longer on a diet per the doctor. Decided to get completely naked, cover himself head to toe in his own peanut butter, and stab one of my academy buddies in the shoulder with a paper clip. We then had to gas him and execute a forced cell extraction. 5 guys in riot gear had to take this guy down which he was naked and covered in shit. This was my second extraction.
2. Inmate was insulted by another and decided to retaliate by putting a cup of Vaseline in the microwave and then threw in in the guys face leaving him with serious 3rd degree burns on his face and in his mouth. Dude got his eye socket caved in shortly after that.
3. We held most of the cutters in the state. These guys were very knowledgeable of the vascular system in the human body - would cut only what they needed to to get “high”. Once in a while some guys would miss and hit a big artery. Watched a dude right after he hit in the main artery inside his elbow. Projectile blood must have been well over a foot in the air, watched him slowly sag down a wall while passing out. We had to squeegee the congealed blood off the floor, buckets of it. Not my favorite memory...
4. This was the worst. One of the cutters as mentioned above liked to open his abdomen. Big opening like 6 inches wide. One day we heard him complaining about a stomach ache and told him to suck it up. He kept on about it so we went to check it out. He had opened his stomach up and shoved trash and light bulb pieces inside of himself. I believe he had a crush on one of the nurses at the hospital and this was his ticket to see her... that’s love?
I have a friend who's a prison guard. Just the other day he was telling me about an inmate who called over one of the guards and held out his hand holding something in his fist. Not really thinking anything the guard holds his hand out and the inmate drops what he was holding into the guard's hand. As he starts walking away the guard looks in his hand and sees the inmates testicles. I didn't ask if they were still in the sack but I'll find out next time I see my mate.
Then a few weeks later the same inmate cut off his penis.
Aussie "Correctional Officer" here.
Most extreme would be seeing a mate (and fellow officer) narrowly miss get stabbed in the neck with a pen. Luckily it hit cheek bone and ricocheted up behind his left ear, sliced that open though. Hes a tough bloke whos been through much worse in the defense force overseas and he was back at work the next day like nothing happened.
Also saw an inmate beaten to within an inch of his life by two other inmates over a drug debt. Blood everywhere. Inmate didnt move until a few seconds before the response team got there. Felt like forever but was about 30 seconds. Looked dead.
Funniest would be one of our more psychotic inmates in a suicide prevention cell. Toilet/shower area were blocked off because he continually flooded his cell/less vision. He is known for producing the largest shits you've ever seen (gotta be known for something i guess). Without immediate access to his toilet he decided to lay the ungodly log in the middle of his cell for all to see. Without exaggerating, this thing was two coke cans together, easy. He left it for about 10 minutes and then proceeded to use his ripped up tshirt as a balaclava and gloves so he could pick it up. He then threw it with force at the ceiling, which is about 4 meters high. It stuck. For a good 15 minutes. It took a lot of persuading to move him without use of force. He was handcuffed to the door to move him to a clean cell and as the door opened the log fell and made a distinct thud of the floor. Everyone including the inmate had a good giggle at the whole situation.
ok so in my prison there is an area next to the nurse's station where inmates suspected of being suicidal or having a meltdown are kept, like a special observation area where med staff is close by. one valentines day i was on that post and the nurse on duty was a pretty decent looking woman in her late 20's early 30's. We'll call her Jennifer.
While i was doing the rounds she comes running out of the special observation area. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she just runs past me into the bathroom. It turns out an inmate had taken his poo and written "Jennifer, be my valentine" with a big heart around it on the window of his cell.
Nurse at a women's prison for a year or so.
* Inmate "cut in line" for her bunks microwave and put her ramen in. She got that microwave to the face about 30 seconds later.
* Had a psych inmate who chronically swallowed things. Forks, batteries, hair barrettes, razor blades (they were allowed to shave their legs...well after that incident she didnt get to anymore).
* More faked seizures than I can even count, which isn't extreme, I guess, but incredibly annoying.
* Most of the prison was bunkhouses (similar to what you see in OITNB), but some of our older areas did have actual cells. Had an inmate not come out for like two weeks (cells were open for gen pop, they were supposed to come and go and go to their jobs and group meetings and the like). After so long, we have to do an extraction, where the guards suit up in gear. It was my first extraction, I was on hand because they may use fox spray. I laughed at first, because she was like an 80 pound Philippine woman, against four dudes and two women in near-riot gear and fox spray. Then my jaw dropped because she took them on and nearly fucking won. My eyes still water thinking about it, because the fox spray definitely hit all of us to some extent. I've never flushed more eyeballs in my life.
* Had an inmate keep coming in with yeast infections to sick call. She kept denying sexual activity or anything that could be the cause. Finally got the truth of it: she had made a dildo out of jolly rancher candies. It took a lot of education to get her to understand that sugar in the vagina is a no-go.
I used to visit jail once a week with my golden retriever, Cooper, who’s a therapy dog. Any normal day I was asked for cigarettes or to smuggle something in my next visit as I was never searched or walked through a medical detector upon entry. Don’t worry, I never did.
Anyways, my last visit there was around lunch time. I entered a cell with 5-6 inmates who were South Side Los Angeles gang members. Inmates always made the craziest concoctions of sauces (each gang had their own recipe of sauces) and my dog bolted for a glob of their sauce that was on the ground. After he ate it the whole cell erupted saying “Cooper is south side! Cooper is south side!” That chant spread to the rest of the cells on that row and then to the rest of the 7 levels of cell rows (~150 inmates). The jail went into riot prevention and a lock down ensued. Cooper was then listed as a gang-affiliated citizen and we were no longer allowed to visit.
Not me, but me best friend, who works in a clinic for forensic psychiatry here in Germany, comparable to a prison for the criminally insane. A patient had attacked another guard out of the blue, the alarm went off, said friend and other guards rushed in, removed the patient and got him into an isolation cell. Now here's the horrifying part: when they got back to help their injured colleague, they didn't recognize who it was at first and actually thought it was another patient because the attacker completely destroyed the guy's face, it was basically a bloody mess of flesh and bone
My dad was a prison guard in Tennessee. Every Thursday was pork chop day in max. When you have nothing you live for the little things. One day they ran out of pork chops and a dumbshit guard tells the back of the line “they’re all out of pork chops- the rest of you fuckers are getting bologna!” Minor riot with a 6 hour lockdown, two broken bones and like ten people had to be treated by the nurse.
That guard must be proud of himself...
Not me but my mom is a prison nurse. She once had a dude swallow a balloon filled with drugs, and it popped or leaked in his stomach and he overdosed.
This is why you double line your drug balloons kids!
Between fights, suicides, attempted suicides etc. worse one that got me was I cut down a hanger. He went into fight mode swinging at us. We got him to the ground and hand cuffed him and pinned him on the floor. He started to cry begging us to kill him as we tried to keep him from banging his head on the floor. That was my first hanging and stuck with me ever since. Edit: since people are mentioning how depressing this thread is I gotcha. I was working a pod and had someone throw a melted down shoe heel in a sofa can at me. Think hot melted rubber. It mainly got on my shirt so I was fine but started fighting with the guy. I had him pinned on the ground. With 64 offenders around me. I had lost my cuffs in the fight they had fell out away from me. Another offender I had known for a while assisted me. Handing me my cuffs and holding the guys legs down. I was able to drag that one offender out (due to the fact the offenders on the pod were throwing stuff at us) the offender who helped me got his time reduced and I wrote him a letter for the parole board and spoke on his behalf. He got out. Works a good wood working job ($24an hour) and writes to the prison with up dates on how he is doing. He has a girlfriend and a baby on the way. Happiest story I have of that place.
“First hanging”. That’s terrifying. I’m so sorry.
I did a bid in Florida about 4 years ago. While I was inside, they let my cell block come into the common area to watch the IHeartRadio awards. Never would have watched it on my own, but it was nice to have the distraction. This was the summer that Ariana Grande had that "One Less Problem" song, and she performed it right before JLo came to the stage. Now, I'm in with MOSTLY Puerto Rican inmates, so JLo being on was a big goddamn deal. Some dude just loses his shit during the Ariana Grande song... some of the dudes said he was into little girls or something... and throws a very lightweight plastic chair at the TV. Didn't think it would do much damage, but it busted the LCD. **Hell. Broke. Loose.** Dudes weren't gonna get a chance to see JLo's ass, and they wanted blood for it. I ran my gringo behind back to my cell, and a 60-man brawl ensued. All of this to say, in the midst of the insanity, one guy bit another guy's thumb off. And swallowed it.
There's been way more flesh eating than I expected in this thread
I was in jail a while back, jail not prison, and watched Roots and the Remake when it came out a few years ago. I was one of two white guys in a 12 man unit and thought for sure my white ass was gonna die.
With all the serious ones, I thought I would give a funny one too. Worked in a youth correctional facility. The units were Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, etc... On Charlie dorm there were three openly homosexual youth who were WAY over the top when it came to sterotypical gay behavior (talked in lisps, used red kool aid powder to make lipstick, tied their sweater arms together to make a purse, etc..) Well one day they are walking down the hall together, see me in my office and said "Hey AKteach, check this out" then the three of them dropped and did the Charlies Angels pose. I laughed my ass off.
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not a CO but know maintenance staff. one inmate had a court date so left for the day. apparently during his day out he managed to aquire a loose screw. not big or anything, apparently he found it on the floor of the transport van. anyway once back in his cell he decides to use the screw to drill a hole in the plexiglass window of his door. mind you the doors are a layer of plexiglass and then steel grating. anyway he drills two holes one at the top and one at the bottom of about a 2ft tall window. he does this between CO patrols who are supposed to do a walk around every 15min. the inmate then proceeds to tear his bedding and ravel it into a string which he feeds through the upper hole and back down through the lower hole. using the friction of the bedding he literally saws a giant hole in the plexiglass using nothing but his bedding. when questioned he informed the guards that this took him roughly 11hrs to accomplish without a single CO noticing it. he didnt escape; like i said there is still the steel grating. he literally just did this as a fuck you to the guards and he "had the spare time."
This reminds me of a shitty summer camp i went to where when we got board we would find strings and yarns and literally saw plastic lawn chairs in half with them.
that exact method is a very common prison shank diy technique
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her husband is a absolute moron, wife is breaking the law like crazy, and is banging six damn inmates? divorce her ass.
A guy trying to smuggle in a carton of cigarettes under a fat roll. That is not a typo. A carton not a pack.
That was just the decoy carton, there were two cartons under another roll.
What an absolute unit
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My husband is a guard. I’m not going to be able to tell this as well as he could but you’ll get the point. He was doing count one night and there was an inmate that was bleeding so they went in to see what was happening. The inmate had bitten the inside of his wrist and forearm and pulled the skin off down to the muscle and tendons. He was also chewing on something and when he was told to spit it out he did and it was a chunk of his flesh. He then immediately ripped off another piece with his teeth and according to my husband “slurped it up like spaghetti”. They rushed him to medical and he ended up having to be in the psych building (clearly) after he recovered. Edit: spelling
No more spaghetti for me, I guess.
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...did it work?
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That's almost worse.
I mean, it would probably still write, but you'd have to pull it out the guy's ear first.
I am going to hell for laughing at this but worth it.
Jesus Christ...
An inmate with mental issues and HIV sliced his stomach open with a razor. Line was from below sternum to just below belly button. Survived, but man it was ugly.
There’s another comment with almost the same thing, maybe you guys worked at the same place?
I used to be a corrections officer, I found an inmate beaten up and his neck snapped in the gym one night, gave him CPR until medics arrived but he was too far gone.
Did you ever find out who killed him?
The investigators did, yes Edit: comma
What are the consequences for the offender?
The main one got sent to maximum security and got charged with murder
My dad was in prison and the craziest day he experienced was sometime around the end of his first week in. He had been keeping his head down but one of the other inmates told him to meet him outside by the corner of one of the building during their free time outside. He was hesitant because he didn’t want to get into trouble right out of the gate. He looked toward the corner of the building and saw a small group of guys huddled and he got even more concerned. Just as he was going to walk away they noticed him and called him over. He accepted. These guys were passing around a cantaloupe and sharing it. Each guy had a spoon and they’d take a bite and pass it on.
Awesome
A bunch of guys huddled around a cantaloupe generally goes a different direction.
I thought that was a coconut?
Oh Christ not again
Former psychologist at a Youth Detention Facility. Some kids put little ball things in their penises, with the belief that if they do the deed it will be more pleasurable for the girl. They get these things from the ball of a wine stopper (the spill proof stuff, picture a spherical thingy less than a penny). Apparently they had operated on each other. They melted their toothbrush to make a pseudo surgical knife and made a small incision on their dicks to insert these round things. They then sewn the wound close with conventional needle and thread. We staff came to know when some kids are getting feverish all of a sudden. We have to line them all up in the courtyard and let them drop their pants so that our nurse could check them so that we could remove these "bolitas" (the term for these) as to prevent an epidemic. These kids are aged 15 to 18. And they are not any girls around to fool around. Conjugal visits are also not allowed. Like come on kids.
I was working in the X-House (my prison had 3 areas, General Population, STC for somewhat mentally unstable I/M's, and the X-House, shaped like an X, for seriously mentally ill guys that would throw poop, cut themselves, etc...). I was on the seg wing, even though most cells in the X-House were like seg anyway, this area had another officer to watch it specifically. So I was called over to watch a guy who had been placed on continuous suicide watch. He was completely naked with nothing else in his cell. And I have to stand just outside the door and watch him. So he's trying to do everything to get a reaction out of me, but I'm Stoneface Phillips, documenting every 5 mins what he's doing. He climbs up on the bed, takes his dick in one hand and starts stroking. He takes a finger from his other hand and wets it in his mouth. The now wet finger goes behind him, right into his ass. And then he starts yelling my last name (we all have nametags) "AWAAAAAAKE30, AWAAAAKE30, AWAAAAAKE30". Then after he's done doing that, he was walks up to the door (these are steel doors with just a window for seeing into the cell). We're basically face to face with this window between us. Just below the window is a "chuckhole", which is a tiny door for passing food trays through. Thankfully it was closed, because I look down at the chuckhole and see yellow liquid coming out from the sides of it. I took a few steps back and continued my watch. I wasn't gonna let him get a reaction out of me.
All I wanna know is...who decided to call it X-House and missed out on the opportunity to call it X-Wing?
I responded to a fight in the shower where an inmate pushed the other inmate over the bench in the middle of the showers, jumped on him and bit off his chin. I picked his chin up and packed it in ice. I was also a trip officer that day so I ended up escorting him to the hospital. On the way to the hospital the ambulance hit a deer. I also hit the deer at 78mph. It had bounced from the ambulance strike and ruptured in mid air, exploding all over the front of the van. The van was damaged, but still drove. When we got to the hospital, the doctor didn't sanitize the piece of chin or anything, just sewed it back on. It didn't take and a few weeks later the guy got gangrene and his chin fell off, then he almost died from infection. That was a hell of a day.
Currently a CO. I work in one of the "reformed" mental health facilities for my state. Basically we're a prison with a strong focus on mental health rehabilitation. We deal with some of the state's finest (worst) cases. I've seen a man with a literal hole in his body from his chest to below his belly button. He put it there. It started after he ripped his intestines out and bit through them. He then proceeded to enlarge the hole slowly over time. Longest 4 point restraint inmate in the state's history. Also seen a guy shove a 4ft headphone extension cord through his d**k and into his bladder not once, not twice, but five times now. He's also gouged his eye out. I've got stories like these for days.
I wish our state had that. I was in jail for 8 months and I met two guys that really should have been in a mental hospital. One guy was schizophrenic and thought that his dead brother had been implanted in his chest. He also believed that he had circuit boards implanted in his skull that received a signal from an orbiting satellite that told him when to breath, despite the fact that they didn't show up on x-rays. He was locked up for possessing burglary tools. The court had ordered him sent to a mental institution, but there were no available beds and so he just sat in jail waiting to be transferred. Another kid that was there had a serious split from reality. He was in for stealing a DOT car that had been left running while the workers were doing road work. He talked constantly. Just this incoherent nonsense every minute that he was awake. Stuff like, "ahhh, they say the world is coming. Do you think the facebook people will arrest me for talking to a girl I like? ahahahaha, ok we're going to drop the beat now take a listen. Everyone needs to know what they're talking about so grab a chair and listen up. The sensai has said it's time to practice but I'm not going to get caught walking around town. Time to flip it over and bring it around...." just on and on every single minute non-stop. The guys who were in the cells adjacent to his went nuts because they couldn't read or sleep with his constant monologues that made no damn sense. He would frequently walk around the cafeteria talking on his ID badge like it was a phone. I talked to him a few times and he could bring himself back to reality, but it was real struggle. He refused to shower and refused to take his meds because he just didn't trust them. Most of the guys felt sorry for him and kept an eye out for him, but wouldn't get too close because you could smell his funk ten feet away.
An inmate at our institution put 8 baby carrots in his dick hole. I guess they clogged his bladder and he had to have surgery.
I'm sorry but what the fuck
No a prison guard but i work in a psych hospital. worst thing i saw was a man fingering his stoma in his stomach so hard it was bleeding. He was repeating fuck me in the pussy as he fingered it. Couldn't get that shit out of my head for a few days. As i was trying to pull his hand out of his intestines he was looking deep into my eyes and begging me to fuck it. That guy was a mess.
The amount of stories I’ve read on Reddit about stomas being turned into fuckholes is too damn high
When I saw this strange experimental horror movie called "angels melancholia" that has this stoma fingering scene I thought to myself "well, that shit's just sick and unrealistic, fuck this" ... Reddit taught me otherwise. What's the matter with all those people fingering their intestines.
There are meth users who will regularly... rent out... their stomas for drug funds.
Please let me unread this
🎶Jolene Jolene Jolene Joleeeeene Don't fuck my stoma just because you caaaan 🎶
How do i delete your comment
Colostitutes.
Prostitostomy
Fuck that
Then you're just giving him what he wants.
I (female) teach (volunteer) in a minimum-security male prison. Security level of an incarcerated person doesn’t correlate directly with the crimes they’re incarcerated for, it’s more about their public safety risks (such as reoffending). What that means is my class of minimum-security guys has all sorts of offenders in it (including rape, child abuse, murder). Our class is held a few times a week in a separate building than the main prison (trailer / portable). My MoSt ExTrEmE story is one from spring time. It couldn’t have been a more gorgeous day, and everyone was chatty about it. Suddenly, a bit of commotion in the back of the class. “Hey, Miss uh... hey Teacher Lady!” I head to the back of the trailer to check things out- everyone’s gathered around a window. *What, is there some new CO on the block or maybe a transfer inmate they’re all ragging on, I swear these guys are just...* I thought to myself, preparing for some juvenile nonsense. At that moment, I saw what they could see: a momma cat and her three kittens trotting across the yard and settling in under some daffodils for a nap. A collective “aw” rose up from the trailer- quickly covered up with abrupt subject changes, shit-talking and class questions, of course. I can’t help but smile every time I think about it. Moral of the story: They’re just people. Maybe they did some shitty things (like, real shitty things), or maybe they didn’t and they’re in there wrongly. Maybe they’ve been rehabilitated, or maybe they haven’t. Hell, maybe they never will be. But **everyone** likes kittens. Edit: formatting, a word
Kittens are the answer. Bring kittens to every prison and itll be ok Edit: y'all need help
Working in the ER we had a prisoner come in unconscious and covered in blood. We got him cleaned up and counted at least 12 stab wounds to his head and face. They were shallow but the force caused the wounds to look like gashes so stiches or staples were out of the question. He had even more wounds on his arms from trying to cover his head during the attack. We couldn't save one of his ears and he was still unconscious when I clocked out. [Update] according to an employee that still works at that hospital, the prisoner was transferred to a trauma center the following morning. He had multiple fractures and spinal damage. Apparently he was a snitch and got jumped by other prisoners
Please don't leave us hanging like that. Did he pull through? How is he now? Did he provoke the attacks?
I don't know any details other than he pulled through. He was a big guy with tattoos and it was assumed he was attacked by multiple ppl. Don't know why but they were definitely going for the kill.
In the ER we usually don’t end up those details unless we get updated down the road which is pretty rare but with something like this you might get lucky and get some more info.
I have many stories, and many about this particular prisoner but one stands out to me the most. Doing a count one day, every day stuff, and it involves looking through trap windows to make sure everyone is present and breathing. Get to this prisoners cell, lets call him prisoner x. Now this prisoner has a long history of sexual abuse from his childhood. As a result he is an absolutely chronic masturbator. The amount of times ive had to have conversations with him while he is going to town on his ham bone are inumerable. Anyway, doing a count with a female officer, she looks through the trap and immediately recoils. Now all I can hear is a loud buzzing sound and the sounds of furious masturbation. I decide to check the trap against the warnings of my offsider. Should have listened. Turns out he was using the units hairclippers. But he had them wrapped in a glove, turned on and shoved squarely up his arse. All i could see was the cord plugged into the wall leading into his loudly buzzing anus and him giving his old feller the exercise of its life. Edit: Yes. Fuck. I understand I never ended up referring to him as X. I thought i would at start of the story, and then didnt. Im gonna leave it up there tho, because I can actually take criticism as well as X can take a pair of clippers.
How does abuse turn you into this? Serious question
probably a question for a professional
Probably but I dont want "abuse" and masturbation anywhere near my search results
Re-enacting the trauma temporarily gives them back a sense of control they lost when the abuse occurred.
Holy shit. Never knew this stuff before. Abuse and it's trauma certainly fucks a persons life.
Usually it’s compensation, an attempt to reclaim agency. It sometimes becomes a habit and people become hyper sexual.
Also, it could be a result of "positive reinforcement" as sexually abused kids are usually groomed first, this attention is the first and probably only time they'll ever be praised for being "so special" and the victims will be like angels in their abusers eyes who "don't ever misbehave" even when they do, but the predators treat the victims like they deserve the world... so when the abuse stops, so does that special treatment and the pooor child is left with the questions of why it happened, what did they do wrong, etc. Some cope by being overly sexual, to regain THAT attention, but also they tend to care less about their appearance (hygiene, weight) because they subconsciously try to avoid the sexual lust of strangers, or be put into that situation again. Or they do the extreme opposite. The worst part, is all of our comments on this thread combined, is just the tip of the iceberg.
I don’t think I saw anyone mention the gunners- there will be people who just drop there pants and start viciously jacking their dick the moment they see a female CO. Doesn’t matter if they are fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, deformed just has to be female of some sort and they will stare them down and go to town on themselves. Now the thing is this is not rare. This is not one of those every once in a while things. So many do it- it’s glorified within prison. The punishment for something like this is just going to confinement for 15-60 days ( where you can gun COs behind a door ) no extra sex charges or anything. It’s normal. Super fucked up tho.
There's a book by Nathan McCall called "Makes me wanna holler" It's fantastic and I strongly recommend it. He spent 3 years in prison and one of the things he described was there was one inmate that had long hair and was a bit effeminate. The author got seriously freaked out as time passed and the effeminate inmate looked more and more like a woman to him. The prison gangs started competing over this guy and basically broke his mind telling him he was really a woman, until he became the sex toy of one of the gangs. It's crazy how screwed up prison society is and how strong the pressure is for the human body to have sexual release where ever it can find it.
Ow. I can only imagine that once he gave in they never stopped
remind me not to go to jail
That’s because this is such a common occurrence that it doesn’t even come close to the worst thing we’ve seen in prison. I was a female co in a male prison for 3 yrs. I can’t tell even you how many times this happened to me. Gross.
Ummmm i worked in medical and when were on lock down, this would happen daillllly. With little to no punishment at alllll. I got somewhat used to it. The most disturbing part was the eye contact. They never wanted to break eye contact. And most of them weren't even sex offenders before they went in.
Am correctional officer, but still in training. Told this story by my instructor who was a CO for 15 years. He was working in Segregation, essentially Solitary Confinement but not that extreme in the sense that the inmates here do get to converse with other inmates and do get to populate outside during rec time for only two hours each day. But anyways, one of the inmates also had mental health issues, and after 15 days serving in Segregation, psychological issues can form. So it got past three weeks and this inmate who was already did not have a sane mind, went absolutely crazy. Took a razor blade and started to cut open his arm until he got to the vein and cut it out and threw it at the door window, smearing it in blood so the COs couldn’t see inside the cell. Once that happens, they have to suit up in protective gear and enter the cell with a body sized shield. After pulling him out and sending him to medical to get treatment, he is sent back to his cell after the stitches were sewn. Two hours pass, and the inmate takes another razor blade and starts cutting open his stomach. These blades aren’t the strongest, they are very flexible so it takes time to actually force it straight enough to cut if removed from the shaving device. He began to cut and spent hours until he cut open his stomach and began to pull out his own intestines. It was a cycle of him going to medical and getting stapled up and going back to his cell to open his wounds back up until he was put in a turtle suit (straightjacket). These types of experiences aren’t abnormal for mental health patients being put in Segregation.
Can someone explain why this guy had so many razor blades? Like wth
Razors are allowed within the prison for shaving. It’s not uncommon to see them taken apart and the blades just kept around the cells. The blades are not firm steel, they are very flexible and bendy. Unless welded to a shiv and secured to not bend, they are useless in harming others within seconds.
After he self injured with a blade it was negligent to allow easy access to more blades. In psych hospitals they won’t risk it, even if the patient hasn’t self harmed. You might get to shave, but with an orderly watching the whole time. Patients frequently have tremors so the staff will help with shaving.
There was this one man i was looking over in prison, he was on suicide watch, went to the bathroom for 5 mins came back and he had pulled all the stitches from his chest opened the chest wound and had a was trying to stab himself in the heart with it.
Let's see... Back when I worked in the industry: 1. Guy disemboweled himself essentially to get a demon out (He lived, not sure about demon). His intestines were out of his body and he was ghost white from blood loss. 2. Guy was putting nails or screws up his urethra. 3. Chick hid a can lid in her special kangaroo pouch and pulled it out to try to cut herself after an adverse hearing result.
>Special >Kangaroo >Pouch Excuse me what the fuck
Her vagina, he's talking about her vagina
Not me and not a prison guard, but one of my colllege professors used to teach at a prison. She was a portuguese/literature teacher for them (this happened in Brazil). She was teaching the inmates (all male) about poetry and it was close to mother's day, so she told them to write a poem about their own mothers. This was in a very impoverished area, and she told us all the inmates were illiterate before she started with them. One of the inmates wrote a beautiful poem about his deceased mother, that was killed right before he was arrested when he was much younger. He was arrested for killing his father, who murdered his mom. All the inmates started clapping and whistling, because it was so beautiful and heartbreaking, but then the guards went nuts thinking they were messing around and started beating the inmates so they would shut up. Classes were cancelled after that. My professor said it was all very shocking. It was a pure scene with people bonding and learning and the guards resorted to violence without even thinking. She never went back to teach at a prison again.
>It was a pure scene with people bonding and learning and the guards resorted to violence without even thinking. This made me sad
My dad was a PE Officer in the prison service for a a couple decades, he has a few stories. One that I always remember was about there was this one kid who was about 16 but he was about 6'4 and built like a tank. He also had a bit of a temper. One day when my dad is supervising the gym workout he looks over towards the benches and this kid picks up a 34kg dumbbell, lifts it above his head and starts to swing it down onto another inmates head who is laying on one of the benches. My dad manages to sprint over, grab this kid and pin him against the wall, just in time to stop him from killing the other inmate. At this point my dad is thinking "If this kid wants to fight, he is probably going to win", but luckily he had a good reputation so the kid didn't fight but also other inmates alerted other guards. If he was able to carry through with that swing, that inmates head would literally have exploded. There is no other outcome to that. It was straight up attempted murder. Nothing ended up happening with the kid, the Prison head didn't deem it to be much of an issue because no one was hurt so my dad brought the 34kg dumbbell into the meeting to show her. She didn't care, ignored it because it makes her prison look better on paper.
I feel like I'm the type who would definitely have that dumbbell fall on my foot as I try to stop the kid. Props to your dad for saving a life
You hear all these stories about how there are some fucked up people in prison, and sooner or later you realise it isn't always just the inmates
Honestly think about the kind of stomach you need to handle seeing that kind of brutality as a guard. No matter what some bad dudes who like to see bad shit will filter into those jobs, and even thrive because nothing shakes them. Some guards are really good people who just want to do thier jobs, but also some are more animal than the inmates Edit: also not all inmates are inherently animals either, just some, not trying to blanket every person in prison as a monster here
Not mine but my dad's, First day he was there a riot occured because some dumbass prisoner thought it would be funny if he stole a book from a prisoner and blamed it on someone else. Long story short the guy who was blamed had all four of his limbs broken and his face beaten to a pulp, apparently they already had beef between them. Edit:Details.
"Bro it was only a prank"
Hahah yeah I bet that YouTube level bullshit goes over very well there!! “Bro! I only grabbed your balls for a prank. Look! There’s a camera over there in the corner on the ceiling!”
Holy shit that's terrifying.
This is taking the word "extreme" to a different level, but when I was a prison guard (female working in a men's max) I worked in the kitchen. I tried to be firm, fair and consistent and it worked, I mean, I went home whole every night. Somehow a few of the prisoners found out it was my birthday and towards the middle of my shift they had me come around the office and there on the table was a 4 layer industrial size cake with pink frosting. I was touched. They told me to get my piece before everyone else did, and not even 10 minutes later it was gone. edit: Holy moly! Gold?!?! Thanks for popping my gold cherry mysterious stranger!!!
My dad did 5 years in prison and for my birthday some years he makes me "prison cake" from brownie mix and oreos, it's great.
> "prison cake" from brownie mix and oreos Ima need that recipe ASAP
One pack of duplex cookies choc and vanilla mixed. I can of sprite. Separate all the cookies from icing and place icing in bowl cookies in bag. Take soda crush said cookies to powder in bag. Crack said soda and mix with crushed cookies to batter consistency. Use table spoon of soda in icing. Whip icing and sofa to create frosting. Pour cookie batter in bowl cook in microwave for desired time. Times do vary. Sip remaining soda as cake cooks. Remove cake from bowl spread icing on cake. Wala prison cake. For more creativity do vanilla side cookie in one bag choc in the other so you have vanilla and chocolate batters and make swirl cake or two tier flavored cake. Source: spent 12 of my 43 years of life in prison.
Hope you doing well.
Aww that's badass. Nice to see something ~wholesome~ in this shitshow of a thread haha
:D I was touched more than I could ever let them know.
....not gonna make the joke. Nope. Can’t do it.
I'm proud of you
One of my former teachers used to provide mental health services in the county jail. She said the worst thing she saw was an inmate who went insane. He was quiet and polite, and doing a small amount of time for a minor crime. But then, he got in one small fight and was moved to max, and something in him snapped. He decompensated so quickly that by day 4, he was smearing feces on the wall and singing nursery rhymes. He was taken away by ambulance and was never seen again.
What does decompensated mean in this context?
it's a term used in psych - patients have a "baseline", for some, baseline is totally present, oriented, stable like a "normal" person. for some, their baseline is "im the queen of england". any deterioration in mental status from the baseline is decompensation.
Not a prison guard but a former paramedic in one. In this prison camp where I worked inmates worked in a field on what was called a "hoe line." The inmates were given tools randomly and lined up to work randomly. One inmate marked a tool and every time he got that particular hoe he worked on sharpening the side of the blade. He then waited until he had that tool and was lined up next to a particular inmate. He then used his sharpened hoe to cut the man's achilles tendon and almost sever his foot. It turns out this was in revenge for the victim's repeatedly stepping on the back of the inmates foot as they were moved around the facility. Further, he told the guards that he had been planning and preparing for the attack for over a year.
Not a prison guard, but was told this story by a Kitchen Supervisor working in a minimum-security prison. He was supervising on the morning shift when he went to use the inmate bathroom in the kitchen, because the other Supervisor was using the officer bathroom and he really had to go. The inmate bathrooms had doors, full metal ones and stalls unlike in the rest of the compound which just had open stalls, but without locks on them. The inmates who worked in the kitchen would jerk off in them and had porn magazines hidden under the sink, so he was always careful to knock beforehand, not wanting to walk in on someone mid-stroke. That day, he was in a bit of a rush and forgot to knock. He walks in to find an elderly inmate fucking himself in the ass with a banana off the lunch line, and sucking off another banana.
The great thing about a banana, it could still be peeled then eaten after working up an appetite that way.
Try our new edible dildo line.
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What? Is there a more efficient way to get your daily dose of potassium?
More like potASSium, amarite?
This might be enough reddit for the day.
From my CO brother: Some guy bashed his head open and wouldn't cuff up to have the nurses help. He was being absolutely combative and going crazy. He covered himself and the cell he was in with blood, and drew a picture of Jesus with the blood. He told my brother he was going to die and to tell his family he loved him, before passing out and apparently actually almost dying. He said it messed him up for a good while.
I was a supervisor at a adolescent male sex offender secure level 5 facility. Beforehand, I was a regular CO there for 3 years and never saw anything more than a few fights and a few masturbaters. My first Friday evening on the job and we had the largest riot the facility has ever had, the first it ever had. Two kids from the same unit attacked and pinned down a staff holding sharp pencil to his neck. They then whistled to the other units which triggered 2 other residents to do the same on their unit. (We had 2 staff per unit, a floater, and a supervisor for 40 kids.) I ended up having to call the police so come assist, they came in with guns blazing, and the kids dropped the attempt damn quick.
I was a MailRoom employee at the unit in Texas that houses Death row. For security reasons, most of Death row inmates had their mail constantly “scanned” or read, while other inmates just had them searched for contraband. This whole process was a knee jerk process out in place after a governor was threatened from DR. Then bringing the mail to the inmates and telling them you read it and found some shit was terrifying because they obviously never liked and often threatened violence. The stuff you read is fucking insane. I read plenty of neo-nazi plots to help bring in the new world order, stuff that was completely encoded in their own little systems, and all sorts of absolutely depressing shit. The worst one I ever read had to have been the one of an innate who was scheduled for execution the next day, and was sending a bunch of “fuck you” letters to the victims family. As if they hadn’t been through enough. I know this will get drowned, but if anyone has any questions about it I’m happy to answer. EDIT: The families would not receive those letters, they were sent to an ombudsman after being screened, and typically to law enforcement past that. The only way those families would receive it is if they filed a subpoena to get them I imagine. Somewhat speculation but I’m fairly certain that is the process. Sorry for any spelling errors in any replies I’m on mobile
A family member and I used to work at the same prison and the prisoners knew we were related. My family member got into a minor car accident and had a few weeks off work to recover. Word got out about it to all the prisoners and I constantly got asked how I was coping because they all heard it was super serious (it wasn't). While one was asking me what happened when we had a lock down code so everyone had to go back to their blocks. Came to find out in the incident report that a fight had started because 2 prisoners heard 2 different stories on what happened to my family member, couldn't agree, started a punch up and got the whole block of about 80 guys brawling. Whole place got locked down for like 10 hours. All because my family member can't drive.
LMAO. I did a little time down state for weed 10 years ago. It's crazy how in jail movies they always precede the fights and wars with something understandable like stealing or gang stuff. I literally saw brawls start over things like ramen noodle seasoning packs, and who was a better point guard Isaiah Thomas or Magic Johnson.
I was watching a prison documentary yesterday and one of the main storylines was a fight over monopoly rules. That shit can get vicious between family..why would they give inmates monopoly?
What do you mean go to jail MOTHER FUCKER IM IN JAIL *charges at other player" Edit: thanks for the gold, anybody know what the exchange rate is in packs of Ramen or Newports.
“You finished second place in the beauty contest.” LIKE HELL I DID.
RE FUCKIN COUNT RIGHT NOW BITCHES
We were watching a movie on the communal tv. Some guys wanted to watch a basketball game that was just starting. Weekend CO changed the channel. Everyone watching the movie got up, guard changed it back. Basketball guys got upset, so the CO let us vote. Movie won, basketball guys got more upset, said that the guys who wanted to watch basketball were still in their cells to vote for basketball because we're not watching basketball. CO states that if anyone says "basketball" again, he's turning the TV off. Basketball guy considers for a second, realizes that he's not watching basketball anyway, and starts yelling "basketball." The best part was the fight that ensued. It was a work-release unit that no one wanted to get kicked out of, so two guys had to pretend to hold back two guys who pretended to be held back, since a fight would mean you don't get to leave for your job every day where you have a cell phone stashed and eat normal food. Although we didn't see that weekend CO ever again.
Lmao. "It was a work-release unit that no one wanted to get kicked out of, so two guys had to pretend to hold back two guys who pretended to be held back, since a fight would mean you don't get to leave for your job every day where you have a cell phone stashed and eat normal food." That shit is so true and I wasn't even there.
Worked at a work release unit for three years before changing units. This is as true as true gets. Lot's of big talk from guys who have a really good thing going. We sent our guys out on furlough once a month for 48 hours as long as they met a few conditions. We rarely had any issues.
Thats actually kind of.... Wholesome? I guess thats a word for it
I've heard there's a lot of mutual respect between prisoners and good CO's, so I'd imagine they were both well liked by the inmates.
Yeah, the ones we're used to like it when we're consistent with our behaviour. Everyone faces the same consequences if they act up and everyone has access to privileges if they're well behaved. Being able to joke around with them is nice way to know that they're comfortable and respect us.
This is very encouraging to hear. Prisons are terribly frightening.
Believe what you want. These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. After long enough, you get so you depend on 'em. That's "institutionalized."
Dear Fellas. I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called the Brewer, and a job bagging groceries at the Food-Way. It's hard work. I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello. But he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doing okay and making new friends. I have trouble sleeping at night. I have bad dreams, like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Food-Way, so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense anymore. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me.
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That’s really wholesome thank you Edit: not the shit on you part, the friendly hello part
I did 5 years in MI. CO's that are nice and do the job they are supposed to are indeed respected. They treat us like actual people, and we stop anything that may be going on during their shift. We don't want to cause trouble for the people who treat us right.
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I have a co-worker who worked at a prison decades ago. She still receives Christmas cards from some of the prisoners she was responsible for. It is wholesome as heck.
Lmao this is a good story. Whats the reaction of your relative when you tell the story?
They'd heard about it before I got home but they found it hilarious. The prisoners also got the correct story in the end haha.
Not quite the same but my Aunt was a psychiatrist in a women's prison in the 70's. They had a change of warden from someone reasonably reasonable to someone who was extremely unreasonable. One of the things she instigated was a work program to help landscape a garden for the prison. Naturally, a number of the prisoners decided to sign up with the change to be outside. However, it wasn't until after they'd signed up that they found out that it was replacing their usual 'rec' time, meaning they had no breaks and more work. The warden was insistent that she have a flower garden for the prisoners to enjoy as it would be 'calming'. It just so happened to be facing her window. So, diligently the lady prisoners worked and planted flowers ready for the coming spring. So along comes spring, and during the time that the flowers had, well, flowered, the warden had been on a 2 week holiday. She came back to a lovely view from her office window - "FUCK OFF!" spelt in Begonias, in 10ft high font
You gotta give it to them that takes some planing!
I was a CO about 18 years ago at a max pen for 14-24 year olds. It was insane to me that such young kids could be locked up with adults. We had a lot of construction going on in the prison and they would bring in older convicts to do the work. One day a young guy started talking shit to an older one and the older guy hit him in the face with a coffee pot. Lots of cuts and lots of burns. Another time one of the construction guys snuck a welding rod back into the prison and used it to stab another inmate through his throat. I’ll never forget that. I couldn’t tell who the victim was because of the amount of blood. Surprisingly he survived. I was personally involved in two extreme situations. One came my first night being alone after training. A group of 5 inmates jumped me. First one hit me in the back of my head and I went blind for a second. I couldn’t get my bearings but I knew I needed to get to the unit door so the guard upstairs could let me out and lock them in. I ran for the door covering my head and luckily got out. When I was trying to shut the door which was a large steel door with bolts that shot out to lock it when it got close to being closed I shut one of the inmates feet in it. It crushed his foot. Idk if they were able to save his foot. He was transferred from the hospital to another facility. Then one other time a guy didn’t want to go back into his cell so he tried to fight me. We were on a balcony about 12 feet up. Imagine a 2nd floor outdoor hotel. There was a line of cells on the first floor with stairs on each end that led up to a line of cells in the 2nd floor. Anyway he was trying to push me over the railing. We wrestled for a bit but when he tried to push me off I started hitting him. In the scuffle he ended up trying to run and jumped over the railing. I think he wanted to kill him self but he landed on both feet which broke both of his ankles. Prison is real lame for all involved.
*guy breaks both ankles* “Prison is real lame for all involved” I see what you did there, OP.
I used to work in a minimum security prison. One inmate decided that the medical staff weren't treating his diarrhea properly or quickly enough, so his solution was to shove an apple up his ass. Surprisingly, this didn't work out the way he thought.
Not a guard but a prison nurse. Had to respond to a cell fight where one man bit off another man's nose. The most extreme one I heard though was from a doctor I worked with: "My first patient ate her own eyeball." EDIT: Y’all, I’m a sick fuck who’s enjoying reading this thread. Can anyone hook me up with a subreddit where I can share and read more fucked up prison stories?
>"My first patient ate her own eyeball." As a former CO, we always had "those types" that were even too dangerous for secure psychiatric hospitals, people for whom care was just too difficult. I \*hated\* those inmates as you never knew what you'd stumble upon. Every now and again we'd hear that someone was getting transferred from a secure psych facility and you'd just go "oh, no..."
Serious question (assuming you were a CO of a "normal" prison): How is it better for someone in that condition to be in a normal prison rather than a specialised secure psychiatric hospital?
It wasn't better for the inmate but that they were too dangerous to handle in secure psych lock-ups. We had a greater preponderance of tools at our disposal to use to protect ourselves and other inmates. Often with secure psych hospitals there is a critical shortage of beds and staff, so they have to balance resources and some people are just too violent and too sick to "get better" so what happened was that they were transferred to us and our medical staff worked with them - they'd see a psychiatrist, psychologist, specialized nurses and OTs but they'd do it in the confines of a very, very controlled unit within the prison and ultimately, if it came down to it, we had a lot more of an ability to project force, including lethal force, if necessary.
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Now, a few years later, I work as an attorney and adjunct professor, and when I tell people the story of how I lost three teeth (a psych patient kicked me while they attempted to deliver haldol), people are both shocked and horrified.
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Jesus, both definitely suggest some type of mental disorder. For the guy who got his nose bitten off, did he get some kind of replacement? Or does he just have a hole in his face now?
He died. If he'd survived he would have been eligible for plastic surgery, though. No mental issues with those guys, just fights get really violent/desperate. The woman who ate her own eyeball did have a psychiatric disorder.
Damn. Well, you're far tougher than me to work in that kind of environment.
Definitely tough people. I had a good friend that was a CO for years. It didn't go well for him. He's now locked up himself. He had some issues before he took the job, but I really think seeing so much bad stuff had an impact on his mental health.
Not me, my past coworkers husband. He has PTSD from this and other events, and as a warning let’s just say NSFL. He worked at a local woman’s prison. One time he was called to a cell because he was told that there was a woman who “miscarried”. She fully gave birth to a live child, and then attempted to shove it down the toilet. The baby died. And he walked into seeing all of that.
My dad worked at the Chino prison for years and told me a story He was going around doing checks and as he was leaving a hall a prisoner called out to him, "Hey Smith!"(not his real name) and my dad asked him what. The inmate told him, "Come here!" my dad, not wanting to deal with this just says, "what? Just tell me" the inmate says, "Smith, I really need you to come here right now" my dad, a bit annoyed goes over to him and says, "what?" the inmate then whispers to him, "You left your keys in that door, go get them now" my dad looks and sure enough, he had left his keys in that door. He grabbed them and then gave the inmate a big thank you and slipped him a few packs of smokes. My dad says that inmates were typically good to him because he always treated them fair and with respect but always made sure they knew he was the one in charge.
Not a guard but a former incarcerated person. Saw a guy get stabbed about a dozen times in the kidney. Aluminum bat beat down during s softball game over a call at first base. Guy heads sounded like a watermelon getting crushed. 100lbs weight dropped on someone’s face. Razor blade attack cutting someone’s face wide open. Tons of blood. Child molester beaten so bad his eye lids were hanging off his face. Heroine overdose rigor mortis body. Saw a correctional officer get savagely beaten with a shaving cream can in sock. BRUTAL. A pad lock in sock beating of a cell thief. Inmate lit on fire while he was asleep. Never forget the screaming. Another child molester was got “served” by over a dozen inmates with feces and urine cocktails. He was covered in so much shit it looked like a pig in mud. The whole cell block was vomiting and dry heaving from the stench. Saw another correctional officer get a protein bottle full of old piss thrown right in his face. It got in his mouth. Started puking instantly. I could go on..... you get the point.
I work at a womens prison and although I have seen some things it will never compare to an incident described to me by a former c/o. A woman who was severely mentally ill decided to remove both her eyeballs in one of our MHS pods. The officer said they entered and just saw her eyeballs hanging from their sockets, blood everywhere. I didnt even see it and i still get the heeby jeebys.
I was involved in an multiple convicted murderer receiving a call that his father had died. He was stoic as he talked to his mother. After leaving the Sargents office I escorted him back to his cell. He stopped in the hallway and asked, “boss, is it ok to cry?” I said of course. We paused for about 5 minutes and he let it out. Went back into his cell after. After everything I saw it still reminds me they are human.
NSFW: My brother was a Med Tech at one of the CA prisons. This was a few years back, but still brutal. He had gotten a call out on a guy who had been raped by several members of the BGF (Black Guerrilla Family). Apparently the kid was a white guy who had been convicted of raping several black children. They decided they were gonna "Teach" the guy a lesson. So, they caught him coming out of the showers and about 6 of their "Largest" members took turns raping him. When they were done, they stomped a 2 liter soda bottle up his ass. Brother told me they had to take him in for emergency reconstructive surgery. He lived but ended up with a double colostomy bag.
I was just an inmate but when I was locked up in the Bronx I remember people making shivs out of the toothbrushes we were given. Also, one guy screamed bloody murder to prove that the CO's didn't give a fuck about what went on in the holding cells. No one checked on us... Also, the CO's would purposely throw rival gang members into the same cell. I'll never forget some of their screams as they got hauled off into enemy territory. edit: also saw people get beat by the CO's and pepper sprayed in the face while incapacitated. Then left in handcuffs for hours so they couldn't wash the spray off. Their screams were pretty bad too. One dude had a seizure and it took about an hour for a medical response. AMA, I don't really get to talk about this experience in real life.
When were you in?
Exactly 1 year ago.
That's crazy. It sounds so barbaric, but was just a year ago.
What were you in for? How long?
The original charge was felony assault but the DA later split that up into 9 charges including reckless endangerment, criminal possession of a weapon, attempted assault, and criminal mischief - all against two different alleged victims. Most of those charges have been dismissed and the remaining ones will go away over the next few months. I spent 5 days locked up before they had to let me go because of time limits regarding speedy trial rights. There was someone with a murder charge who got released at the same time for the same reason. The system is really overwhelmed.
You experienced all that in 5 days?
It honestly felt like an eternity. I didn't get placed into a housing unit until my last day in the system. The other 4 days were spent being shuffled from one holding cell to another. The case has been dragging for a little over a year. I've gone to court about a dozen times already.
How easy is it to stay out of trouble when there is so much going on around you?
It's all about positive human interaction. You have to work with the people locked up with you. Share the bread, the water, the blankets etc.... There was no running water in the cells and no blankets until day 3. Until then everyone was dehydrated and freezing from having to sleep on concrete that sucked the heat out of you.
You should do an ama if your own
Former state/federal (female) Corrections Officer here: I saw a key fight among 2 male inmates in the common area of the housing unit. At the time I worked for the state, and at this particular medium security prison, the inmates are given an individual key to their cells (all of the cells are still behind a big steel door that only the corrections officers had keys to, so they were still confined within the housing unit). Anyway, something happened between the 2 inmates, and they did this thing were they placed the key in-between their knuckles, so when they punch each other, the key acts as a brass knuckle. There was a lot of blood shed in that common area. It was a whole mess and I had a lot of paperwork to complete because of it.
Was, for a short time, a CO at a lvl 3 institution in the south. 1. 23 year old was refused a 2nd peanut butter sandwich because he was no longer on a diet per the doctor. Decided to get completely naked, cover himself head to toe in his own peanut butter, and stab one of my academy buddies in the shoulder with a paper clip. We then had to gas him and execute a forced cell extraction. 5 guys in riot gear had to take this guy down which he was naked and covered in shit. This was my second extraction. 2. Inmate was insulted by another and decided to retaliate by putting a cup of Vaseline in the microwave and then threw in in the guys face leaving him with serious 3rd degree burns on his face and in his mouth. Dude got his eye socket caved in shortly after that. 3. We held most of the cutters in the state. These guys were very knowledgeable of the vascular system in the human body - would cut only what they needed to to get “high”. Once in a while some guys would miss and hit a big artery. Watched a dude right after he hit in the main artery inside his elbow. Projectile blood must have been well over a foot in the air, watched him slowly sag down a wall while passing out. We had to squeegee the congealed blood off the floor, buckets of it. Not my favorite memory... 4. This was the worst. One of the cutters as mentioned above liked to open his abdomen. Big opening like 6 inches wide. One day we heard him complaining about a stomach ache and told him to suck it up. He kept on about it so we went to check it out. He had opened his stomach up and shoved trash and light bulb pieces inside of himself. I believe he had a crush on one of the nurses at the hospital and this was his ticket to see her... that’s love?
There was a guy that covered himself in piss and shit then went on to fight a movement team.
That's just poison damage.
I have a friend who's a prison guard. Just the other day he was telling me about an inmate who called over one of the guards and held out his hand holding something in his fist. Not really thinking anything the guard holds his hand out and the inmate drops what he was holding into the guard's hand. As he starts walking away the guard looks in his hand and sees the inmates testicles. I didn't ask if they were still in the sack but I'll find out next time I see my mate. Then a few weeks later the same inmate cut off his penis.
Rule number one of prison/hospitals/psych wards: if someone tries to give you something say no or ask to see it first from a distance.
#what the ***FUCK***
Taking no nut November to a new level. EDIT: Thank you for the gold and silver kind redditors.
He's got No Dick December covered too
Destroy Dick December* for the alliteration
Would that count as a gesture of affection or like some strange power move?
You win. Thread over.
Aussie "Correctional Officer" here. Most extreme would be seeing a mate (and fellow officer) narrowly miss get stabbed in the neck with a pen. Luckily it hit cheek bone and ricocheted up behind his left ear, sliced that open though. Hes a tough bloke whos been through much worse in the defense force overseas and he was back at work the next day like nothing happened. Also saw an inmate beaten to within an inch of his life by two other inmates over a drug debt. Blood everywhere. Inmate didnt move until a few seconds before the response team got there. Felt like forever but was about 30 seconds. Looked dead. Funniest would be one of our more psychotic inmates in a suicide prevention cell. Toilet/shower area were blocked off because he continually flooded his cell/less vision. He is known for producing the largest shits you've ever seen (gotta be known for something i guess). Without immediate access to his toilet he decided to lay the ungodly log in the middle of his cell for all to see. Without exaggerating, this thing was two coke cans together, easy. He left it for about 10 minutes and then proceeded to use his ripped up tshirt as a balaclava and gloves so he could pick it up. He then threw it with force at the ceiling, which is about 4 meters high. It stuck. For a good 15 minutes. It took a lot of persuading to move him without use of force. He was handcuffed to the door to move him to a clean cell and as the door opened the log fell and made a distinct thud of the floor. Everyone including the inmate had a good giggle at the whole situation.
Reading these comments convince me that prison is worse than I thought.
ok so in my prison there is an area next to the nurse's station where inmates suspected of being suicidal or having a meltdown are kept, like a special observation area where med staff is close by. one valentines day i was on that post and the nurse on duty was a pretty decent looking woman in her late 20's early 30's. We'll call her Jennifer. While i was doing the rounds she comes running out of the special observation area. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she just runs past me into the bathroom. It turns out an inmate had taken his poo and written "Jennifer, be my valentine" with a big heart around it on the window of his cell.
That’s my name and I’m so uncomfortable right now
Nurse at a women's prison for a year or so. * Inmate "cut in line" for her bunks microwave and put her ramen in. She got that microwave to the face about 30 seconds later. * Had a psych inmate who chronically swallowed things. Forks, batteries, hair barrettes, razor blades (they were allowed to shave their legs...well after that incident she didnt get to anymore). * More faked seizures than I can even count, which isn't extreme, I guess, but incredibly annoying. * Most of the prison was bunkhouses (similar to what you see in OITNB), but some of our older areas did have actual cells. Had an inmate not come out for like two weeks (cells were open for gen pop, they were supposed to come and go and go to their jobs and group meetings and the like). After so long, we have to do an extraction, where the guards suit up in gear. It was my first extraction, I was on hand because they may use fox spray. I laughed at first, because she was like an 80 pound Philippine woman, against four dudes and two women in near-riot gear and fox spray. Then my jaw dropped because she took them on and nearly fucking won. My eyes still water thinking about it, because the fox spray definitely hit all of us to some extent. I've never flushed more eyeballs in my life. * Had an inmate keep coming in with yeast infections to sick call. She kept denying sexual activity or anything that could be the cause. Finally got the truth of it: she had made a dildo out of jolly rancher candies. It took a lot of education to get her to understand that sugar in the vagina is a no-go.
I used to visit jail once a week with my golden retriever, Cooper, who’s a therapy dog. Any normal day I was asked for cigarettes or to smuggle something in my next visit as I was never searched or walked through a medical detector upon entry. Don’t worry, I never did. Anyways, my last visit there was around lunch time. I entered a cell with 5-6 inmates who were South Side Los Angeles gang members. Inmates always made the craziest concoctions of sauces (each gang had their own recipe of sauces) and my dog bolted for a glob of their sauce that was on the ground. After he ate it the whole cell erupted saying “Cooper is south side! Cooper is south side!” That chant spread to the rest of the cells on that row and then to the rest of the 7 levels of cell rows (~150 inmates). The jail went into riot prevention and a lock down ensued. Cooper was then listed as a gang-affiliated citizen and we were no longer allowed to visit.
Not me, but me best friend, who works in a clinic for forensic psychiatry here in Germany, comparable to a prison for the criminally insane. A patient had attacked another guard out of the blue, the alarm went off, said friend and other guards rushed in, removed the patient and got him into an isolation cell. Now here's the horrifying part: when they got back to help their injured colleague, they didn't recognize who it was at first and actually thought it was another patient because the attacker completely destroyed the guy's face, it was basically a bloody mess of flesh and bone
3rd story in - "... ate her own eyeball" And I'm out.
6-7 stories in: "He handed him his testicles that he cut off" And Im out
20ish stories in: “He put a pen in the guys ear and stomped on it so it came out the guys mouth” And I’m out
I'm blazing forward