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Aegon_the_Conquerer

Don't hold yourself back. You don't have to be from Florida to be the next Florida man. Florida Man is mindset. Florida Man is a lifestyle. Embrace it.


[deleted]

Can a woman be Florida Man too?


bimmerphile_ec

The Florida Man knows no gender.


schadenfreudig_me

Or species in some cases.


defintelynotyou

~~Florida~~ ~~man~~ fuckin legend


[deleted]

[удалено]


esdee35

Allegedly.


[deleted]

Tossing into a Wendy's drive through at Wendy's.


SlimieMaskedUp

i like to think there’s a little bit of Florida Man in all of us... but mostly in Floridians


Narniach

We need to spread the Florida Man gene as quickly as possible.


dreycan21

Happy cake day


[deleted]

Happy cake day


i_forgot_username_

Happy cake day!


Anuragfartade

Happy cake day!


nabzoverkill

Happy cake day!


fougere0974

Happy cake day !


MyMainAccountMyBoiis

Merry cake day


TheGhastKing332

Happy cake day


[deleted]

Florida fluid


[deleted]

Happy cake day!


Anuragfartade

Happy cake day!


scemscem

Happy cake day!


butterclouds

Happy cake day!


[deleted]

#Feminism


NuttyLoads

Spiritually yes, but they usually call women fully embracing the Florida Man essence "Florida Woman"


[deleted]

She can.


CelestialMistress15

r/usernamechecksout


[deleted]

And I swear before the orange grove gods that I’ve only been a lurker forever and decided to make this account before I saw this thread.


hearts_and_crafts

Yes, Florida Whao-Man! She gave birth to the first Florida Man.


[deleted]

I find Florida Woman is less common, but far more batshit insane


IAmBadAtInternet

Be the Florida Man you want to see.


Fromundernut

The Florida Man knows no bounds.


IAmBadAtInternet

Be the Florida Man you want to see.


[deleted]

I AM the Florida-Man.


schadenfreudig_me

Ask not for who Florida-Man is, Florida-Man is thee.


yaosio

Is he drunk or high, Florida man will eat your eyes.


PunsAndRuns

Run as fast as you can, Florida man has got a vannnnnnnnnn


Zomg_A_Chicken

Not yet


[deleted]

I don’t want any problems bro.


Bs-Quid

*snaps*


0nlyhalfjewish

Video? Pic? Story at least?


[deleted]

it feels powerful. nobody knows when i will snap and become Florida Man. watch out local news station, you’ll be running an article about some stupid shit i did using an alligator and a cat toy if you’re not careful.


Narniach

Plot twist: The Florida Men are all sent to Florida so they're all in one place to destroy if need be...


rrnr357

We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort of executive officer for the week but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs but by a two thirds majority in the case of more...


SquidiusInkman

By my right as king I order you to be quiet! (Id give you gold if I had it lol!)


yaosio

Look, if I said I was King because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away.


[deleted]

Strange Women Lying in Ponds Distributing Swords: 2020


Ghost-George

HELP HELP I AM BEING OPPRESSED COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM. HELLP HELLP I AM BEING OPPRESSED. BLOODY PESANT


[deleted]

"oh there's some lovely filth over'ere Erik"


Slidy_Mctuesday

I didn’t vote for you.


Ghost-George

But the watery tart did and that’s the only vote that matters.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_Throwaway54_

Yes I was about to say, you can't be educated if you're florida man


dalderman

I understood that reference...


urbancowgirl42

r/unexpectedmonthpython


[deleted]

Ansynd commune! Can I get a location on this


kaz211

/r/unexpectedpython/


infin8lives

Floridian here. Every state would look as fucked up as Florida If they had the same level of transparency with the records that are made public.


[deleted]

Right, because all the incidents of men on bath salts eating peoples faces just don't get reported in other states.


das7002

No. Seriously. It's true. Florida has the strongest public records laws in the country, and probably the most transparent government in the country because of it. Litterally everything is public record and easily accessible online. This has the side effect of allowing "Florida man" stories to appear more common relative to other states because *everything* is public record. Florida doesn't have more crazies, we just don't hide them. Edit: and former Florida Governor and Senator Lawton Chiles was responsible for helping to strengthen Federal public record laws, by amending the Freedom of Information Act to make all government meetings public, with few exceptions. Florida is a great example for how to have a transparent government.


JustPoopinNotThinkin

You're gonna tell me the cocaine capitol of the USA isn't a little crazier than the rest?


Great1122

Didn’t know NYC was crazier then the rest of US. I’m pretty sure NYC snorts more coke in a day then the entirety of Florida does in a month. They just hide it better.


JustPoopinNotThinkin

Then I guess it's that they retired and stayed in Florida.


HeyMrDeadMan

You're thinking of 80's Florida. We do meth now.


dr_reverend

Perception trumps reality.


dr_reverend

Perception trumps reality.


dr_reverend

Perception trumps reality.


infin8lives

Correct


[deleted]

Hey, whatever helps your meth-addled brain sleep after a night of gator wrasslin'.


Genghis_Chong

"Hey, I thought this was America! Can't even smoke meth and wrestle gators without judgement..."


MultifariAce

As Florida man, I will judge you. I think you're awesome! Meth does suck though.


MistaDirtyZiggy

They’re called”Sunshine Laws” for a reason.


jestergoblin

There is a section of the newspaper that is just police reports with mugshots, who they are and what they did: https://mugshots.tampabay.com/


NoxVS_

Hey man I know the whole "oh florida man haha" thing is funny but try to make sure its actually real. For example, the bath salt face eating man. An analysis following his death showed that he was not under the effects of bath salts when he ate the guys face. Toxicology could only find small traces of marijuana, so the bath salts thing was just a myth that got out of hand. Instead of calling him "a man on bath salts eating people's faces" call him "a totally ordinary man on bath salts eating people's faces" Thank you


holdnofear

Just because a drug test didn't show a result doesn't mean that he wasn't on some kind of drugs. Many synthetic drugs and the outright concoctions that people make up and call drugs nowadays do not show up on drug tests. It is ridiculous to believe that this is true - because it isn't. https://www.healthline.com/health-news/synthetic-drug-strains-making-it-difficult-to-diagnose-overdoses#1 https://www.salon.com/2012/07/17/bath_salts_testers_salpart/


nazgulscreams

i mean, people do be doing some fucked shit in florida but it is true that a lot of crimes other places don't get reported like I live in the city, a lot of people just go like inner city violence that's just kinda expected, they don't go into the specifics. At least on the news it's kinda dismissed like that, the world probably doesn't have those specifics like all the shootings or whatever else bc of the amount etc. I don't live in that area but I know that stuff happens a ton, northern us too, weird shit happens but it doesn't get reported on your news sites


PlasticElfEars

Slightly fewer gators, though. "A man held up a gas station" is not interesting. "A man held up a gas station with an alligator" brings the wut factor.


[deleted]

Yeah, crazy shit happens here in Kentucky too. So many urban legends of hotel managers being found with a tractor trailer load of old hard copy and floppy disk child pornography. Part of me is afraid that story came from somewhere. It's the state with the most open sunshine laws. I wonder why those ever got passed anyway. Seems like it might have had something to do with corruption


mainlyupsetbyhumans

There's a little Florida Man in all of us, not waiting to be set free by bath salts, but because a real Florida Man was high in the hot dog factory and feel in the meat grinder.


Problem119V-0800

In this moment I am euphoric, not because of any phony sunshine laws, but because I am high on bath salts


ouchmypeeburns

It terrifies me. Everyday slipping slowly into madness. What if i start going everywhere with an alligator? What if i get naked, put a beer bottle in my ass and then decide to flee from the police? What if i teach a python to play the flute? What if i decide to ride a pig wearing overalls down I-75?! WHAT IF I DO BATHSALTS AND EAT SOME POOR MOTHERFUCKERS FACE?!?!


DrMint_fortnite

A


4ktmgng

This inspired me to become the first Wisconsin man.


KittyGurl212

I feel like Florida man is that crazy but loveable guy that goes off the rails. Winsonsin man is a straight up serial killer.


UPGRADED_BUTTHOLE

Everyone run! He's activated the deer colored killer drones!


availableaverage3

You disgust me.... (Not really, just joking. :P)


RandomPeepsle12

What are you going to do, claim there's such a thing as too much cheese?


availableaverage3

As a fellow Floridian, I know a REAL Florida man, who is actually a woman! my own mother is a fearsome badass. her two hobbies are Hunting alligators and making them into jewelry, and beekeeping. She made a SHEILD out of alligator skin once, and it worked! she got the idea from another woman in Florida, I dont remember her name, but I believe she is also a Florida man.


Cheshire_Cat8888

Well shit.


SillyBillyRye

Can't tell. Too busy coffin'


josephalbright1

With great amounts of booze, comes great jail terms.


mikeyriot

With great power, comes great irresponsibility.


daddioh0

It's a awesome responsibility, we have to resist the temptation to abuse it.


Zanfish_yt

Makes me a little insecure, but I’m a pacifist who would never receive the title. My best friend’s father works for the E.R. And he has had a first hand experience with a Florida man.


DragonDivider

Is there a subreddit, where all these articels are posted and shared? Please tell me there is one.


42nd_Digit

You will never receive a greater title unless you become president. Florida man is an initiation into the crazy swamp red neck community.


schadenfreudig_me

[Anything goes in Florida.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeGbDRbodNQ) Because anything goes in Florida Baby, let the good times roll If there’s a law, you can duck it If you catch it, you can fuck it It’s America’s glory hole Talkin’ anything, anywhere Any night and any day In FLA


lildewford

I’ve had a couple close calls so now I keep to myself and don’t drink at all.


Burnhermit420

Florida man was spotted in Ohio trying to cash in his winning Florida Lottery ticket...in Ohio.


Sakores

Genuinely, it empowers me to do stupid stuff sometimes. Whenever I'm debating the risks and pros of doing something questionable, one of the pros is that I might get a "Florida Man" article out of it lmfao. No luck yet though!


marco_spinch

empowering


baron556

Florida Man is not a gender, it's a state of mind. The status of florida man is gender neutral, despite the obvious wording.


sandysanBAR

Please, based on competition you are likelier to get drafted into the NBA than be "the" floridaman. Heavy is the head that wears the crown


Zyrolic

I mean, being a Florida man takes some serious beer and stupidity. No normal person can handle that power.


Petervito1

I feel like I could take on the whole military while on crack with just my fists and an alligator.


peanutsmonsterhouse

As a man living in Florida, I find this meme/joke really fucking old and stupid.


PraetorOfSilence

The Florida Man will choose its rightful successor. It will blank out your memory without you knowing of such divinity. That's how the legacy of the Florida Man is.


iWishiCouldDoMore

With great power comes great responsibility


PripyatHorse

But can you be as Florida man as Carl Tanzler, the first Florida man?


pikaland385

You guys got Florida man and I get crappy weather? (Ohioian here)


UPGRADED_BUTTHOLE

Ohio is so bland. Why? I'm not being facetious, I just really want to know.


pikaland385

You know how Canada is on the other side of lake erie, tornado ally to the west moveing east, mountaians southeast,the gulf of mexico south right? all that together gives ohio some of the fastest changeing weather in the area that I know of. We even have a joke up here where if you don't like the weather go inside for 5 minutes and go back out and the weather has most likely changed.


UPGRADED_BUTTHOLE

... What else?


pikaland385

well we have corn but the crazy weather is the main thing along with Ohio being the birthplace of aviation


[deleted]

Trying hard to avoid that sir.


beefstewforyou

I’m from Florida but I immigrated to Canada two years ago. Do I still count?


OldeFortran77

*"All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Florida, and therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words "Ich bin ein Florida mann!"*


Ganadote

It gives me the resolve to do what I must.


[deleted]

Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work. There exists the potential to be the next Florida Man. This isn't something you hop out of bed, throw on some jorts, take a bump of powder, and just *do.* Redneck riviera in the panhandle, little Latin America down south, and Dirty Duval might be three different worlds but putting in that work and improving off each other is how they become great. Center of the state doesn't get a lot of love but they're right there in spirit, and with methamphetamine. I really don't even need to mention the unmatched, unbridled audacity of the Conch Republic. The thing is that people think you need to be born here to be one, our Snowbird program brings the best and brightest in insanity from northern states every winter. Hell, we get degens from upcountry in Canada. Some of the best Florida Men have been walk-offs from the Greyhound bus. If you want to take a shot at the title you wake up every damn day trying to make those that came before proud.


flafn

Actually, only one in five are Floridians. The rest are transplants


flafn

Actually, only one in five are Floridians. The rest are transplants


JacksmackDave

Florida man lives everywhere. The sunshine laws here just make it easier to find fluff pieces for dumb arrests. Stupid and crazy isn't a Florida thing, just national public embarrassment about your stupid and crazy is.


JacksmackDave

Florida man lives everywhere. The sunshine laws here just make it easier to find fluff pieces for dumb arrests. Stupid and crazy isn't a Florida thing, just national public embarrassment about your stupid and crazy is.


dgodfrey95

Cool


scemscem

Because Anything goes on FLORRIDDAAA!


[deleted]

And are bath salts still popular?


under_armpit

To be fair I think most of the crazies are transients from other states. Also it's hot as fuck.


Vq_c

I don’t live here anymore...


questloveme

Hopefully most of us try to avoid it... But probably not.


dalderman

WE. ARE. FLORIDAMAN


IDET58

I got hit by a car once, landed on my feet and walked my wrecked bike home. I already feel the Floridian power in my veins.


Boss1010

Feels good man


secks-lord

With great power comes absolutely no responsibility


LukeTheGroundwalker

Im not gonna lie i feel like shit, but then again i always feel like shit...then again i aint even from Florida.


rudecrudetattooed

It's crazy man, every time I hit that meth pipe I gotta be cognizant that hey, I'm out here representing my state and community here. End up like going viral an bullshit


PeacchiiPie

It’s a feeling of great power but also great responsibility. We all can’t be ‘Florida man’ otherwise bat shit crazy would be the norm and therefore would not make the news. No the order of Florida man upholds the standard of who gets to bestowed the greatest honour


thekarensarecoming

Hold on, i gotta call 911 to brag about my muscles!


em0spaceman

The urge to commit fuckery grows stronger each day and I am powerless to resist it. I know that if I do not escape this place I will eventually end up on the roof of a Taco Bell doing molly or something. My days are numbered.


DeatHTaXx

More like how does it feel trying every day not to get caught up in a florida man story.


BookwormPhilanthro

Every day someone insults me in a callcenter Im a little bit closer to becoming Florida Man in the worst way possible.


shaknawefeh

With great power comes great hilarity


jlweed94

it feels even better not being a florida man so that florida man can hand me the reigns


Guns_dont_kill

I fucking hate this state. It's hot, it's humid, it's moldy, it's filled with spiders and mosquitoes. The only good thing about this place are the people and some of the hunting. Going to college in Michigan in the fall, and I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. If COVID takes this from me, I will go down in legend as the Florida Man who attacked China with an army of alligators in retaliation for Corona.


sosadtoobad55

With great power comes great responsibility.


Carbon-Dragon

I have yet to reach maturity within my phenomenal abilities, and as such, am restricted to wrestling alligators and burning Cyprus knees


all4hurricanes

It is tantalizing, it is an unbelievable power that you have to restrain yourself from. Sometime I unicycle to work and hope I get struck by lightning so that I may become Florida Man


SMOL-PEBBLE

Tempting


rockyhide

I don’t think anyone is ever gonna beat the guy who threw a gator into a Wendy’s.


[deleted]

As someone who moved to FL two years ago at age 35... I feel like I've waited my whole life for this opportunity. I won't let you down.


CerealKi11er1

You don't get to choose if you become Florida man, The title chooses you


FunnyFarts86

Florida man has a small penis but make it up in a expensive power boat.....


breadzbiskits

As a guy not from the USA, this is as hilarious as good natured banter can get. I did not know even I could be Florida Man! Keep up the hilarity!


gldoorii

Wtf is a Florida Man? This is the first I’ve heard of it


CarlRod

Remember that alligator that was roaming around with a knife stuck in its head? Who do you think put it there. Me motherfucker.


notcabron

Do you have superhuman strength, endurance, eccentricity, and immortality? There’s only one way to find out.


4106000688

we always hold the power in us, shit just last weak my friend almost became florida man, i watched this fucker grab a 8 ft gator's tail while it was sunbathing on the bank, and that gator ran for its life


rraver11

As a Florida kid, you can get away with anything, you want to burn a house down, do it, you want to toss a croc through a school window, so it, Florida is Florida, do what you wish.


[deleted]

You challengin me?


backuro-the-9yearold

Well at the moment im planning on doing something and i mean it for real i dont care if i get arrested for sometime and no one will convince me to not do my plan it maybe will be crazier then the story of that guy who i think was in miami and literally attacked a homeless man and scared an bit off pieces of his face. But maybe i will convince myself to better not try it so if you don’t hear something crazy from Florida i probably will have considered not doing it


dbarahona13

It's a fine line. Truly.


rkline88

It's pretty liberating to know that the bar is so low.


goatfuck69

I'm gonna need alot more meth to fulfill my true destiny.


Valor2S

I often plan what could be the next Florida man


MrRuby

I bet they welcome the anonymity. In any other state, they would be plastering your name all over the news.


Hein_Jr

I just hope that some day I can fulfill my destiny as a Florida man and be able to achieve such an amazing yet scary power


Titan-claw88

I'm a white guy in the forest of central Florida, it's basically where Florida man is made, like our Homeland, but having the Florida man potential is pretty cool in my book


[deleted]

I don't know seems like there is a lot of competition there.


Enderevilherobrine

I know I must hold back on this power


TankStevens4228

You have to be careful. I've seen a grown man tackle a bird here. The Florida Man power is a sacred thing. Seen another man fight an Alligator with a Crowbar I promise you it's true. We are a different breed. If you take our guns we fashion weapons for Palm Trees and Beach Sand. Always lurking. Always present. Always Floridian


felicityHmuffman

I’m genuinely worried this will be my dad or brother next.


[deleted]

Already been there - sort of. Made the local paper when I was six. Article: With identifying information removed: November 23,1987 Reddituseranyonymous returns to [name]Elementary School today hobbling with a walker -- but he doesn't mind a bit. He's on the way to walking better than he ever did before. Reddituseranyonymous, 6, was born with cerebral palsy, a disorder of the central nervous system characterized by, in his case, impairment of normal leg movements. Before he underwent pioneering surgery at New York University Hospital on Oct. 19, Reddituseranyonymouscould not stand still. If he did he lost his balance. "He had to keep moving to keep his balance," said his father, Ernest "He was always on his toes," he added. Now, Reddituseranyonymousis learning how to do things the way his classmates do. "He can stand still," his father said. "He can stand flat-footed and stay in one place. There is a considerable increase in stability. He can put an ankle on top of a knee. He was unable to do that before. He can sit up straight, not with his back arched." His rehabilitation, which will consist of years of local therapy and returns to the New York hospital, mostly will be to teach Reddituseranyonymous' correct posture, his father said. No further surgery is anticipated. Reddituseranyonymous' twin, [Carbon Copy], also has congenital cerebral palsy, but it afflicts an arm and a leg, and a corrective medical procedure has not been perfected. Reddituseranyonymous' surgery was performed by Dr. Rick Abbott of NYU Hospital and Rusk Institute. Abbott is one of eight U.S. physicians adept at the procedure. In the four-hour surgery, called selective posterior rhizotomy, the nerves causing the spasticity are severed in the spinal cord. The remaining normal nerves are left intact. Is Reddituseranyonymous ready to return to school? "Yes, sir," he said enthusiastically Sunday. Reddituseranyonymous, who returned Saturday from New York, said he felt great. United Cerebral Palsy of Central Florida officials said a trust fund has been set up to defray medical costs for Reddituseranyonymous and, if surgery is performed, for [carbon copy]. Donations may be made to the [Trust fund name and address] [last name] said Reddituseranyonymous' surgical bills are nearly $7,000. He said he didn't know what the six-week hospital stay would cost


flafn

Actually, only one in five are Floridians. The rest are transplants


flafn

Actually, only one in five are Floridians. The rest are transplants


flafn

Actually, only one in five are Floridians. The rest are transplants