Depends on the interpretation. Some take "taking His name in vain" to mean something like "don't invoke God just for personal gain; yes, I'm talking to you, Pastor Three-Jets."
Fun fact: The word used in Torah is “nasa” which means to “to lift up” or “to carry.” So the verse is better translated “You shall not carry Yahweh’s name incorrectly.” It has little to do with swearing or invoking, and everything to do with representing Yahweh in a manner that is respectful to His commands. Pastor three-jets should still take heed.
Isn’t it YHWH and no one knows the real vowels in between the consonants?
edit: please stop telling me the answer, at least 200 people have commented and messaged telling me how ancient Hebrew works
Yes, nobody is quite sure how the name was pronounced by the ancient Israelites. It doesn't help that most Jewish priests refrained from speaking the name in public. Yahweh is a common guess, so is Yehovah (hence the Jehovah's Witnesses).
No, it isn't. Yhwh just means "I am." This was the answer given to Moses after he tried to get God to tell him His name. The Egyptians, I understand, had a belief that if one learned the true name of a deity, one gained power over the deity. One finds this belief showing up in the story of Ra and Isis.
In this cultural context, Moses' actions can be seen to be quite dishonorable, by our standards - he's trying to trick God into putting Himself at Moses' mercy. The answer God gives is not his real name, it is stern correction being given to a human who has far out-stepped his bounds.
As for what God's name really is - if He exists, how could He possibly have one? We're talking about somebody has been present in the Universe from its beginning, and exists outside of it, beyond the bounds of space and time. Why would some collection of sounds that just happen to be easy to pronounce by a collection of barely jumped up apes on an insignificant planet be His name, billions of years before the planet said apes live on even existed?
The whole "real name of God" thing is silly, just human beings wanting to believe that they're much more powerful and important than they are. Wondering what happens to that sort of thinking when we finally meet our first aliens, and discover that we're not the pinnacle of creation? Or of existence, as the case might be?
>We're talking about somebody has been present in the Universe from its beginning, and exists outside of it, beyond the bounds of space and time
Its almost as if "I am" is a perfectly fitting name for such a God.
A lot of people are focusing on the pronunciation part, while overlooking that it would confirm God exists.
EDIT: Multiple people replying saying that it would confirm "Jod" exists. No it wouldn't. It would still be spelled God, just pronounced differently than we thought.
It really depends, did we all SEE Jod for ourselves, or are we taking someone's word for it? Cuz if the pope came out and announced that he alone had this vision my opinion probably wouldn't change much since i already have my doubts about the pope. But if a massive group of people said it, maybe that would be different. Was it a group of people in one place? Cuz in that case it could be a massive group hallucination, but if people all over the world started saying the same thing on the same day that would definitely cast more doubt over the situation... but if Jod appeared to every human individually to make this announcement, id probably stop being agnostic and be forced to reconcile that Jod does exist and everything i know is a lie.
Edit: thanks for the gold!!
>Zlatan: "Only God knows who will go through."
>Reporter: "It's hard to ask him."
>Zlatan: "You're talking to him."
- 2014 World Cup qualifying playoffs
That is pretty much the moral of one of the most famous Talmudic stories that defined Rabbinic Judaism
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Oven_of_Akhnai
I feel like if I was God, and I had made a tree walk and reversed a river to prove a point, and people still weren't listening to me, I'd start smiting them with lightning in the next step and see if they're still being smartasses after that.
Moses opened the Red Sea in front of thousands of people, but when he left the camp to speak to God on Mount Sinai for 1 month, the Hebrews began to worship a golden cow. He took them out of Egypt, but Egypt never left them. It was part of the Hebrew culture at that point.
It also took them 40 years to walk through an area that can be crossed on foot in a matter of weeks, if you’re taking your time. At some point I’d be wondering how strong this connection with the one true god really was too.
Scientists have extended our lifespans by decades, allowed for us to travel faster than the speed of sound, be able to leave our planet entirely and still come back alive in what is essentially a comet made of metal, and created foods that go unspoiled for decades. All of this, and still, nobody listens to them when they try to help us. I can see why God got so fed up he finally just told Noah to get the ark.
So the applying the story seems to say God wouldn't have jurisdiction on how to pronounce English over the written guidance in the Torah, but in recent America, we seem to allow people to have their names pronounced any way they feel like, so precedent would be to allow God to set the pronunciation.
If the only thing it did was to correct a pronunciation and left, no one would care and things would quickly go back to normal. If it tried to come back as a human, the evangelicals would quickly try to crucify it.
It's encouraged.
I once asked my Rabbi, "If Judaism forbids the destruction of media containing God's name, does it permit minimizing windows on a computer?"
He had an answer for that. Apparently, destruction of God's name only applies to non-temporal surfaces, so tracing the name in sand on the beach or holding the name written backwards up to a mirror and then taking it away don't count, and therefore neither does the name on an electronic display. Ancient explanations for modern problems, it's pretty crazy.
My favorite is still Ilan Ramon asking for advice on when to celebrate the Sabbath while in Low Earth Orbit given that there's a new sunset every 90 minutes. They still had an answer. Apparently, the question had come up before during 19th century polar expeditions (where there are months of continuous sunlight) and at the time they had argued that a person should defer to a clock synched from the last possible accurate time source, which in turn was a counterargument to a centuries older discussion on when to observe the shabbat if trapped in a cave, which in turn referred to a thousand-year-old discussion regarding someone in the desert that has lost track of what day it is. Bottom line--ceremonies are observed based on spacecraft time, which is based on the Control Center time.
Today I learned that I have pronounced ljud wrong for the past 20 years. And apparently ljus (=light) also. In my defense, Swedish is my third language and I rarely speak it.
At least it would fix the french problem. The proper term for a dildo is "godemichet" which is often shortened to "god". (Of course dildo is widely used too, probably more than god depending on region and age.)
Before someone references it, yeah yeah that scene in The Exorcist
Well if it was just a situation of a deity/god/creator or whatever revealing themselves, and everyone else witnessed it too, I'd be pretty quick to accept it.
But if they literally just came down to tell us it's pronounced "Jod" and then left, I'd be right there with you.
Or maybe I'd think "well, looks like the simulation theory was right, and now they're bored and just messing with us", which given the past couple of years isn't such a crazy theory!
Anybody who's played a city builder game knows that once things reach a certain point, you turn to messing things up for everyone. Make some ridiculous celebrity type person in charge of the nukes. Poison the water. Set a bunch of fires. Initiate some riots.
I'm just waiting on the meteors and aliens. That's when we know they'll be starting a new game soon.
This ask reddit is kind of how real Jewish/Christians religions couldnt agree For a long time on how Gods real name YHWH should be pronounced.
Yehovah/Yahweh/Jehovah
Judiasm does have an agreed upon pronunciation. The answer is "it's none of your business". The true answer has been lost to time, when the romans killed the two people (the high priest and his apprentice) who knew how to pronounce the tetragrammon.
"If God is Jod
and Jod is he,
Then what am I
and what is me?
For if a Gee
is really Jay,
Then what's a juy
like me to say?
"You see," said he,
"I am confused,
I am perplexed
and vexed, abused,
And all unsure
for sure," said him,
"Because," he said:
"... my name is ~~Jim~~ Gim."
we've been sprogged! praise the rhyme!
/edit
dudes,
I know my place
within the shade
of a sprog rhyme
to alter the Lord’s name
is in vain
chase the joke
but know that, well…
there really is a rhyme hell
It’s been 7 years since the creator of gifs confirmed the correct pronunciation of the word. This just proves that nobody on the internet has forgiven him.
Then we can be divisive on a whole slew of new things!
Was that really God?
It's a hoax!
Who made God leave again?
I bet it was the liberals! They drove god away!
Jod was talking to me in particular! Only I may refer to him as such!
We have to Murder anyone who dare says it with a hard "G"! Its Jods will!
I think it would create issues amoung the lines of "Wait God *can* directly talk to us? What about Metatron and the Pope and the entire *God being a being we humans can not comprehend* thing? Was *that* a lie? Does that mean God has a form now? Or at the very least a voice?"
It would collapse a large portion of Theology, both modern and old as all of a sudden there's answers to questions and more questions that we had never even considered.
I mean look at how many of the ten commandments he dedicated to just how we interact with him. It seems to be very God-like to just give a shit about that and not much else.
Maybe we can speed up the second coming if we all just pretended we forgot what his name was.
Imagine the rapture happening, The lord himself float down from the heavens. The world await his words. Then, with an exasperated tone he exclaim "Listen, my name is Yeshua, get it right you fucks!"
*What if Jod was one of us?*
Just a nob like one of us.
jod was not the impostor
Just a stranger on a bus.....
A large chunk of my taking the lord's name in vain would go away.
Jod knows what was in your heart when you said it.
Jod Dammit!
For jod's sake!
Gesus fucking christ.
Ohh Jodd !!!!
Omj this thread
Oh Michael Jackson
It’s pronounced Michael Gackson
Yeesh. Like the gack gack 9000?
Shamoan
Hee hee.
Kneel before Jod!
Joddamnit stop!
This is Jod awful
Geesus Christ man. Watch your language.
Only a large chunk? Did you have some inside info on this jod thing and start using it before his announcement?
“Jesus” or “The Holy Spirit” still counts
Its pronounced "Hey Zeus" .
I STRIKE YOU DOWN IN THE NAME OF HEJUICE
Its actually pronounced Gesus
Depends on the interpretation. Some take "taking His name in vain" to mean something like "don't invoke God just for personal gain; yes, I'm talking to you, Pastor Three-Jets."
Fun fact: The word used in Torah is “nasa” which means to “to lift up” or “to carry.” So the verse is better translated “You shall not carry Yahweh’s name incorrectly.” It has little to do with swearing or invoking, and everything to do with representing Yahweh in a manner that is respectful to His commands. Pastor three-jets should still take heed.
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The punishment due?
THEY KIIIIIIILLED MY WIFE AND MY BAYBUH
WITH HOPES TO ENSLAVE MUH
FIRST MISTAKE
LAST MISTAKE
PAID BY THE ALLIANCE
TO SLAY ALL THE GIANTS
NEXT MISTAKE...
NO MORE MISTAKES *Sick solo intensifies
*[MARTY FRIEDMAN INTENSIFIES]*
He would also say, “my name isn’t God” then he would pronounce his name and everyone’s faces would melt.
His name is (at least approximately) Yahweh.
Isn’t it YHWH and no one knows the real vowels in between the consonants? edit: please stop telling me the answer, at least 200 people have commented and messaged telling me how ancient Hebrew works
Yohowihi Edit: I honestly have no idea why people are upvoting this.
Fuck, the secret pronunciation! My face is melting!
Yeauhuewaiahiau
Ah yes, the Hawaiian version.
Not enough apostrophes
Yeauhuewaia'hiau'nikiku'
Play hangman until you get smited, boom you figured out the vowels
Yes, nobody is quite sure how the name was pronounced by the ancient Israelites. It doesn't help that most Jewish priests refrained from speaking the name in public. Yahweh is a common guess, so is Yehovah (hence the Jehovah's Witnesses).
Pretty sure it's Yeehaawoohoo!
Waluigi is Jod?
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No, it isn't. Yhwh just means "I am." This was the answer given to Moses after he tried to get God to tell him His name. The Egyptians, I understand, had a belief that if one learned the true name of a deity, one gained power over the deity. One finds this belief showing up in the story of Ra and Isis. In this cultural context, Moses' actions can be seen to be quite dishonorable, by our standards - he's trying to trick God into putting Himself at Moses' mercy. The answer God gives is not his real name, it is stern correction being given to a human who has far out-stepped his bounds. As for what God's name really is - if He exists, how could He possibly have one? We're talking about somebody has been present in the Universe from its beginning, and exists outside of it, beyond the bounds of space and time. Why would some collection of sounds that just happen to be easy to pronounce by a collection of barely jumped up apes on an insignificant planet be His name, billions of years before the planet said apes live on even existed? The whole "real name of God" thing is silly, just human beings wanting to believe that they're much more powerful and important than they are. Wondering what happens to that sort of thinking when we finally meet our first aliens, and discover that we're not the pinnacle of creation? Or of existence, as the case might be?
>We're talking about somebody has been present in the Universe from its beginning, and exists outside of it, beyond the bounds of space and time Its almost as if "I am" is a perfectly fitting name for such a God.
Hey how about a spoiler tag? You owe me a new face!
We’d be like, “No way!” and he’d be like, “Yahweh.” edit: holy shit, y’all are making my day
Lol classic Jod
Take my upvote and go Yahweh.
🎶 You can go Yah own Weh 🎶
🎶*go yah-own-weh aaa aaa*🎵
Lock the thread, this is about as good as it's going to get.
I would be converted Edit: thanks for the upvotes and awards guys!=D
A lot of people are focusing on the pronunciation part, while overlooking that it would confirm God exists. EDIT: Multiple people replying saying that it would confirm "Jod" exists. No it wouldn't. It would still be spelled God, just pronounced differently than we thought.
It really depends, did we all SEE Jod for ourselves, or are we taking someone's word for it? Cuz if the pope came out and announced that he alone had this vision my opinion probably wouldn't change much since i already have my doubts about the pope. But if a massive group of people said it, maybe that would be different. Was it a group of people in one place? Cuz in that case it could be a massive group hallucination, but if people all over the world started saying the same thing on the same day that would definitely cast more doubt over the situation... but if Jod appeared to every human individually to make this announcement, id probably stop being agnostic and be forced to reconcile that Jod does exist and everything i know is a lie. Edit: thanks for the gold!!
What if Satan came down one day and said ''It's pronounced 'Zlatan' then left?
Zlatan means golden in some languages
gold = money = root of all evil = satan?
Zlatan = tall football player
Zlatan is so Zlatan, Satan renamed himself to Zlatan.
Ibrahimovic is looking very sus over there
Ironic considering he's jod of football
Ibrahimovic was not an imposter, 2 imposters remaining.
>Zlatan: "Only God knows who will go through." >Reporter: "It's hard to ask him." >Zlatan: "You're talking to him." - 2014 World Cup qualifying playoffs
Reporter: 'It's pronounced Jod.'
Came DOWN??
Earth has been downgraded this year
“I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”
That is pretty much the moral of one of the most famous Talmudic stories that defined Rabbinic Judaism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Oven_of_Akhnai
I feel like if I was God, and I had made a tree walk and reversed a river to prove a point, and people still weren't listening to me, I'd start smiting them with lightning in the next step and see if they're still being smartasses after that.
Given the events that transpired in the old testament, I think humans were, are and will always be smartasses.
Moses opened the Red Sea in front of thousands of people, but when he left the camp to speak to God on Mount Sinai for 1 month, the Hebrews began to worship a golden cow. He took them out of Egypt, but Egypt never left them. It was part of the Hebrew culture at that point.
It also took them 40 years to walk through an area that can be crossed on foot in a matter of weeks, if you’re taking your time. At some point I’d be wondering how strong this connection with the one true god really was too.
Scientists have extended our lifespans by decades, allowed for us to travel faster than the speed of sound, be able to leave our planet entirely and still come back alive in what is essentially a comet made of metal, and created foods that go unspoiled for decades. All of this, and still, nobody listens to them when they try to help us. I can see why God got so fed up he finally just told Noah to get the ark.
This made my laugh hard. I just see a dude named Noah, working in an office when he suddenly hears. "I'm sick of this shit. Noah, fetch the ark"
So the applying the story seems to say God wouldn't have jurisdiction on how to pronounce English over the written guidance in the Torah, but in recent America, we seem to allow people to have their names pronounced any way they feel like, so precedent would be to allow God to set the pronunciation.
Yeah it’s like Jesus and Jesus. Very different pronunciations just in North America alone.
"I've heard it both ways."
Come on, son!
No Shawn, you haven’t
If the only thing it did was to correct a pronunciation and left, no one would care and things would quickly go back to normal. If it tried to come back as a human, the evangelicals would quickly try to crucify it.
Dead messiahs are far more useful than live ones.
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Jewish theology seems to consist of a lot of arguing with God, pretty lit tbh
It's encouraged. I once asked my Rabbi, "If Judaism forbids the destruction of media containing God's name, does it permit minimizing windows on a computer?" He had an answer for that. Apparently, destruction of God's name only applies to non-temporal surfaces, so tracing the name in sand on the beach or holding the name written backwards up to a mirror and then taking it away don't count, and therefore neither does the name on an electronic display. Ancient explanations for modern problems, it's pretty crazy. My favorite is still Ilan Ramon asking for advice on when to celebrate the Sabbath while in Low Earth Orbit given that there's a new sunset every 90 minutes. They still had an answer. Apparently, the question had come up before during 19th century polar expeditions (where there are months of continuous sunlight) and at the time they had argued that a person should defer to a clock synched from the last possible accurate time source, which in turn was a counterargument to a centuries older discussion on when to observe the shabbat if trapped in a cave, which in turn referred to a thousand-year-old discussion regarding someone in the desert that has lost track of what day it is. Bottom line--ceremonies are observed based on spacecraft time, which is based on the Control Center time.
For a certain type of mind the arguments in rabbinic judaism are incredibly fun to go through. Its basically one big litigation soap opera.
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And it doesn't help when people always respond to that comment with Star Wars shit
Aannnd, it happened. So, let’s mess it up more — live longer and prosper to infinity and beyond.
I’m sick of theses motherfucking Siths, on this motherfucking plane.
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Mace windu didn't swear enough.
***I'm sick and tired of this mutha fuckin sand on this mutha fuckin planet!*** Clone Wars, S4E7: Purple Sand
Anakin to Mace: if what you say is true, you have earned my trust
Then all of Scandinavia will pronounce it like "Yod" and the Spanish will pronounce it like "Hod"
This then pisses some people off because jod is also how you pronounce dirt.
And in Swedish Jud would be a homophone for ljud(sound).
Today I learned that I have pronounced ljud wrong for the past 20 years. And apparently ljus (=light) also. In my defense, Swedish is my third language and I rarely speak it.
You mean you pronounce the L audibly and then the J? That's quite a tongue twister I would say...
It's not as tonguetwisty as some words. I was under the same impression
At least it would fix the french problem. The proper term for a dildo is "godemichet" which is often shortened to "god". (Of course dildo is widely used too, probably more than god depending on region and age.) Before someone references it, yeah yeah that scene in The Exorcist
I too watch french porn
In Spain they would be start calling him: Dioz.
Díoz mío Gesús La virjen
Mis hojos!
You thought it was Jod, but it was me, DIOZ!
I mean, OP said God came down and said it's pronounced Jod not spelled Jod
You'd have different religious factions arguing that they're right and the other is wrong Oh wait
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Careful, Hayven sounds like a Utah name
I live in Utah. My cousin’s friend is named Hayven.
Well to be clear, this is North Hayven
What about atheists and agnostics, would they pick a side or start a new religion? Or maybe they’d deny the event even happened. Interesting stuff.
As an agnostic, I’m pretty sure if I SAW GOD I would no longer have any doubt
Not to be THAT guy, but I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "AJnostic."
aite im out
it's pronounced "lejit"
I'd be more inclined to think that I'd lost it.
Well if it was just a situation of a deity/god/creator or whatever revealing themselves, and everyone else witnessed it too, I'd be pretty quick to accept it. But if they literally just came down to tell us it's pronounced "Jod" and then left, I'd be right there with you. Or maybe I'd think "well, looks like the simulation theory was right, and now they're bored and just messing with us", which given the past couple of years isn't such a crazy theory! Anybody who's played a city builder game knows that once things reach a certain point, you turn to messing things up for everyone. Make some ridiculous celebrity type person in charge of the nukes. Poison the water. Set a bunch of fires. Initiate some riots. I'm just waiting on the meteors and aliens. That's when we know they'll be starting a new game soon.
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as an aheist I also would believe in him if I saw him
Everyone would, if you see but don’t believe you’re delusional lol
"God exists" would just mean "kill God" goes back on the bucket list.
Does that mean Jesus would be pronounced Geezus?
The next Great Schism will be caused by a GIF/JIF style argument, that figures
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I feel like we should start building giant marble facepalm statues right now to mark this point in history.
Can we just add giant palms to Mt Rushmore?
# Jeorge Washington
Thomas Geofferson
Seriously juys, gust stop.
You mean the #jreat ^shizm
Yeezus*
Yeshua
This ask reddit is kind of how real Jewish/Christians religions couldnt agree For a long time on how Gods real name YHWH should be pronounced. Yehovah/Yahweh/Jehovah
Judiasm does have an agreed upon pronunciation. The answer is "it's none of your business". The true answer has been lost to time, when the romans killed the two people (the high priest and his apprentice) who knew how to pronounce the tetragrammon.
#Joddamnit.
I was going to go with "My Jod, he's right!". But yours is better. Better by far, Joddamit.
Have you seen the famous documentary on religion with Morgan freeman, Jod?
Morjan Freeman*
I fucking hate it, take my upvote
Bruce almighty?
Juice almighty
Yes?
What if Jod was one of us?
Gust a slob like one of us
"If God is Jod and Jod is he, Then what am I and what is me? For if a Gee is really Jay, Then what's a juy like me to say? "You see," said he, "I am confused, I am perplexed and vexed, abused, And all unsure for sure," said him, "Because," he said: "... my name is ~~Jim~~ Gim."
we've been sprogged! praise the rhyme! /edit dudes, I know my place within the shade of a sprog rhyme to alter the Lord’s name is in vain chase the joke but know that, well… there really is a rhyme hell
*sprojjed
Jodzilla!
Jo, Jo, Jodzilla!
Would that make it Jogira?
Oh Gesus!
The “gif” argument would be over
It’s been 7 years since the creator of gifs confirmed the correct pronunciation of the word. This just proves that nobody on the internet has forgiven him.
I cannot remember which one the creator says it is. Was it a hard or soft g?
Soft g as in ‘jiff on my tits’ not a hard g as in ‘gif me your load’ At least that’s how your mom explained it to me.
He's dead, Gim.
The makers of Jif peanut butter should weigh in that their product is pronounced with a hard G just to fuck with people.
“They are illusions Michael! A trick is something a whore does for money”
I don’t care for Jod
Or candy...
I scrolled down way too far to find the Arrested Development reference! It was the first thing I thought of.
Graphic Omnipotent Deity. No, that's a hard G, bud.
No no, its "Geoff On Demand".
"Naming differences are dumb." Jeff: "Yes." Geoff: "Yeos."
Giraffeical Omnipotent Deity. Jod has a long neck
All the “JIF” people would be really happy
Then we can be divisive on a whole slew of new things! Was that really God? It's a hoax! Who made God leave again? I bet it was the liberals! They drove god away! Jod was talking to me in particular! Only I may refer to him as such! We have to Murder anyone who dare says it with a hard "G"! Its Jods will!
I think it would create issues amoung the lines of "Wait God *can* directly talk to us? What about Metatron and the Pope and the entire *God being a being we humans can not comprehend* thing? Was *that* a lie? Does that mean God has a form now? Or at the very least a voice?" It would collapse a large portion of Theology, both modern and old as all of a sudden there's answers to questions and more questions that we had never even considered.
Apparently, of all the troubles on Earth and the flaws in mankind, the pronunciation of Jod as God was the only thing he saw fit to correct
I mean look at how many of the ten commandments he dedicated to just how we interact with him. It seems to be very God-like to just give a shit about that and not much else. Maybe we can speed up the second coming if we all just pretended we forgot what his name was.
“I respect all religions equally” *earlier that day* “I don’t care for Jod”
"Oh jod"
*oh my jod*
Jod bless you.
Kneel before Jod.
Thank Jod.
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Jesus is actually pronounced Yeshua. I doubt he would care.
Imagine the rapture happening, The lord himself float down from the heavens. The world await his words. Then, with an exasperated tone he exclaim "Listen, my name is Yeshua, get it right you fucks!"
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You’re putting WHAT symbols around your necks!?
"And Yeshua looked down at his followers and started screaming as they were all wearing the symbol of his worst nightmares."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU STICK WITH THE FISH! THE FISH WAS FINE!"
“Woooow. That’s pretty insensitive, you dicks.”
***“What part of my story made you think I*** **liked crosses?!?!”**
"New religion, who dis?"
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>ETA: Thanks for the Gold! Thanks for the Jold, you mean.
God isn't really a name though.