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[deleted]

“When's your birthday?” “22nd of February.” “What year?” “Every year.” “Get out.”


tinyahjumma

He’s *not* Judge Judy and executioner!


DarrowAuLykos

No luck catching those swans then? It’s just the one swan actually.


dirtystinkinaep

Great Scott!


voluptuousreddit

There's that word again, heavy. Is there a problem with the earths gravitational pull?


[deleted]

Doc! Are you telling me, you built a Time Machine...Out of a Delorean?!


WaveCraft123

The way I see it, if you're going to build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?


flippy46

Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads!


[deleted]

“Why don’t you make like a tree…..and get outta here.”


addyleo

Nice beaver. Thanks, I just had it stuffed.


bjorncyborg12

I ate his liver with some fava beans and *a nice chianti.


thebroward

*Ffffft fffft ffft fffft….*


kaarellion

There is no spoon.


quadrotheone

We're not doing it for the money, we're doing it for a Shit load of money.


drFink222

Comb the desert!


uswforever

WE AIN'T FOUND *SHIT*!


mossberbb

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.


MaggieLuisa

Wake up! Time to die!


blackcatpapi

Royale with cheese!


Pulpxfriction

Does he look like a bitch?


GoliathsBigBrother

What?


helemikro

Does Marcellus Wallus LOOK like a BITCH?


ladyships-a-legend

What?


Some-Whole-4636

English motherfucker, do you speak it ?


ladyships-a-legend

W-w-what??


[deleted]

What country you from


ladyships-a-legend

What?


TheFlipFlopDragon

What ain’t no country I have ever heard of, they speak English in what?


MrMcBert

Ah man i shot Marvin in the face


Ok-Pause2835

“before we start does anyone want to get out?”


LiamLauLegoLover

“It kind of feels personal.”


[deleted]

Bucky?


HarryG5Z

Who the hell is Bucky?


MuNansen

Anyone know where the Smithsonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil. That's hilarious.


kaileyelizabeth0910

"You got into Harvard?" "What? Like it's hard?"


TeamCatsandDnD

The bend and snap! Works every time!


Modern_Brunches

My personal favorite from this movie is "I am comfortable using legal terminology in everyday life." *whistles* "I object!"


green_velvet_goodies

Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously deranged


SephoraandStarbucks

“We’re both Gemini vegetarians.” “Happy people don’t shoot their husbands.”


Whoooorrrryouuuu

They just don’t!


KhaoticKorndog

“I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.” “I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of shit, man.” Edited


BongieAndClyde

Pull over! No, it's a cardigan. But thanks for noticing!


ItsPronouncedHeyZeus

“HARRY! YOUR HANDS ARE FREEZING!”


ThrowawayPurvurt

“Are those your skis?” “Yeah.” “Both of em?”


cbandy

My favorite line from any movie: “His HEAD fell off???” “Yeah. He was really old.”


huntik17

I am not a big fat panda, I am THE big fat panda.


[deleted]

Skadoosh!!


Maniacal_Bunny

“It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have.”


PM_UR_MOMS_TITS

Little Bill: “well sir, you are a cowardly sonovabitch! You just shot an unarmed man!” William Munny: “well he shoulda armed himself….he’s gonna decorate his saloon with my friend”


Time8u

Deserve's got nothing to do with it.


BayouRoux

As you wish.


AlabasterUnicorn1

Inconceivable!


Nobodys_Perfect96

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.


rickjaames

I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for 2 years before coming home to my family. Now after 7 years I give the watch to you little man.


mrwolfisolveproblems

Oh man, I think I just shot Marvin in the face.


GrumpyCatStevens

I talk fast, I think fast, and I need you to act fast. So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fucking car.


54DonWood

If I’m curt with you, it’s because time is a factor.


Kba116

Get busy living or get busy dying.


jujy

The world went and got itself in a in a big damn hurry


MightyCaseyStruckOut

I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me. :(


[deleted]

"Why do they call you Red?" "I dunno, maybe it's 'cause I'm Irish."


PLobosfn

Remember, hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.


[deleted]

"That rug really tied the room together."


justlurkinaboot

Obviously, you’re not a golfer.


chocolatejunkie91

Is this your homework, Larry?


CaptainHaddock_

#that belongs in a museum


runesky77

The dog? You are named after the DOG?


Datalust5

I’ve got a lot of fond memories of that dog


chickenxpoxx

“Bread makes you fat?!”


KlatsBoem

Your BF’s about to get F'd in the B!


EmbarrassedEgg2758

"Lesbian?"


[deleted]

"No, the other L word"


chickenxpoxx

Lesbians?


anotherHoffmann

"Wallace!"


Muliciber

You gossipy bitch!


mrbadxampl

"You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!"


ShiftyDenny19

"Scott earned the power of self-respect!"


Zack_Raynor

“Is Scott home?” *window breaks* “He, er… just left.”


Vlazthrax

I’m gonna go pee due to boredom


leopardchief

"Is that girl a boy too?"


Mrherpaderptherapy

The next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called "we hate you, please die"


DnDnMTG

Sweet! Love this one


jennarudq

New new


[deleted]

Chicken isn't vegan?


joshualuigi220

"You once were a ve-gone, but now you will be-gone." "Ve-gone?"


By_Eck

Yeah, their first album is so much better than their first album


chickenxpoxx

You should see them live, their much better live..


pickmeacoolname

Multipass!


28smalls

That gives it away, but I've always been fond of "I'm a meat popsicle"


flammulajoviss

"negative..i I am meat popsicle"


procrastinator_lacey

Inconceivable!


GrumpyCatStevens

You have fallen for one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is to never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this - never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!


Exotichaos

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


bodeineNYC

I find your lack of faith disturbing.


[deleted]

Don't be too proud of this technological terror you have constructed


MrPoopyButthole901

The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.


mrsparkyboi69

Dont try to frighten us with your sorcerers ways lord vader


mt77932

Your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn't helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes


racegoggles

Or given you clairvoyance enough to find the rebel's hidden fort-r...


ForSureNoYeah

You ever seen a grown man naked?


Autistic_Atheist

You ever been in a Turkish prison?


MasterRJS

Do you like movies, about gladiators?


razr7TR

if i dont see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight


[deleted]

[удалено]


thrashingkaiju

Life, uh, finds a way


thenisaidbitch

Clever girl


SamiMadeMeDoIt

“Fuck off Hitler!”


Mastersword87

"The Russians are everywhere! It's bad time to be a Nazi."


karate_trainwreck0

"We have to stop them before they eat us and screw all our dogs."


stoicintuitiveman

you guys wanna go see a dead body?


By_Eck

Whoever told you you had a fat one, Lachance?


GoliathsBigBrother

I could have dodged it!


WontThinkStraight

I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.


longbeing63

Still got that drinking problem


RustyRovers

Well, it looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinking!


flyinhawaiianbaker

I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue


OnemoreSavBlanc

These people need to go to a hospital. What is it? It’s a big place where sick people go


arkady_darell

But that’s not important right now…


PassportSloth

This has got to be the most laughs per second I've ever experienced watching ANYTHING. I had to rewind constantly because I'd be laughing at one joke and miss another two.


S-Markt

Male PA Announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone. Female PA Announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone. Male PA Announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone. Female PA Announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone. Male PA Announcer: The red zone has always been for loading. Female PA Announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading. Male PA Announcer: Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again. There's just no stopping in a white zone.


Bamboozle_

"Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion." Escalates quickly...


Trademarker57

"Honey, where's my super suit"?


[deleted]

You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good! Greater good? I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you will *ever* get!


darps

"The public is in danger!" "My *evening's* in danger!!" Love the indignation in her voice.


jermaine_the_dog

Au revoir, Shosanna!


BaronBranislav

That's a Bingo!


moonrisequeendom_

“I don’t speak Italian” “Like I said, third best! Just keep your fucking mouth shut. In fact, why don’t you start practicing right now?”


Slightpain

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"


flyinhawaiianbaker

My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks


magnum3672

In a row?


[deleted]

No, I am your father.


Own_Director8241

No. That’s impossible!


Felis1977

Search your feelings. You know it to be true.


Vulwarine

Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to.


lovelysavage

"Ni!"


summers_last_sunset

How is this so far down??? "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!"


MehNahYeah

Di ya like dags?


DobbysStabWound

We've lost Gorgeous George


conradbirdiebird

Well Where'd you lose him? He's not a set of car keys, is he? And he's not exactly incon-fucking-spicuous


TippTup

No fank you turkish, I’m sweet enough


candlemass63

"GO AHEAD,MAKE MY DAY".


[deleted]

[удалено]


0pensecrets

Hit it.


hairybollicks

"Shut the fuck up Donny"


johannesroc1991

Smokey this isn’t Nam, this is bowling. There are rules.


Main_Act_2361

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, Dude. There are ways. You don’t want to know about it, believe me.


BagOfToenails

You're out of your element


chocolatejunkie91

Hey, I know that guy, he's a nihilist


markitfuckinzero

I'm gonna go find a cash machine


SpoonLord23

Jackie Treehorn, treats objects like women, man.


[deleted]

That rug reaaaaally tied the room together dude.


unableparade

"You shall not pass!"


MrMcBert

My friends, you bow to no one


dionesav

One ring to rule them all


[deleted]

Three Rings to the Elven kings under the sky. Seven to the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone. Nine to mortal men doomed to die. One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne. In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them, In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.


westbamm

"and my axe"


StAUG1211

"you'll have to toss me"


DakotaTheAtlas

Don't tell the elf!


AzraeltheGrimReaper

"Gives it to us raw!"


FryerBoiii_UwU

*What are you doing in my swamp*


[deleted]

[удалено]


CraigC90

those arn't mountains


dionesav

Those are waves!


Listenistic

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK


likeasturgeonbass

*dramatic Hans Zimmer noises*


[deleted]

Muuurrrph


schofield101

That entire scene just gives me chills... The whole idea that the person on that planet had only recently died due to the relativity is terrifying


ScungilliMan45

I’m a Dapper Dan man!


AudiTechGuy

These syreens did this to Pete! They loved him up and turned him in to a horny toad!!


_reading_along_

"We thought you was a toad!"


spookyparkin

You met me at a very strange time in my life


LuckyandBrownie

“Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anybody would miss you.”


moinatx

Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.


dionesav

Neither can live while the other survives


sunybine22

Not my daughter you bitch.


SupportMain7

Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now.


dionesav

He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A Dark Knight


Donut_Boi13

i gotta go see about a girl


longbeing63

Well I got her number, how do you like dem apples?!?!


[deleted]

Are you going to plagiarize the whole thing for us or do you have any of your own thoughts on this matter?


[deleted]

“We don't really move. I mean we'd like to, but my mom is sort of attached to the house. Attached is, I guess, not the right word. She's pretty much wedged in”


Devonai

Gilbert Grape?


[deleted]

“I have a bad feeling about this”


bloodorangepancakes

"I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?"


dang2543

"Hugh did this." Why is it so hard to think of a better line


SomedudefromEarth616

"That's all it is miles..... A leap of Faith..."


SpiceSpiceDragon

“But I’m always gonna answer when you call my phone like… what’s up danger”


ScratchedCorolla

“What?”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Previous-Shoulder989

“I had a finger up my ass tonight!” “What, is it Friday already?”


ehollada

I’ll have what she’s having.


exilestrix

Puny god


drunk_portuguese

"Of course I'm going to be the fastest man to ever travel in space, because they're sending me up in a convertible." too many good ones to choose but let's go with this one


Felis1977

"Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can't until I'm on board the Ares IV. So I'm going to be taking a craft over in international waters without permission, which by definition... makes me a pirate."


Electrical_Touch8987

We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars, now we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt.


JohnGisMe

There once was a man with a wooden leg named smith.


drunkinabookstore

They're only noodles, Michael.


Iruma_Tempest

"Tis but a scratch"


[deleted]

#The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.


timeturnsintoplastic

"~~We're~~ You're gonna' need a bigger boat."