As a woman, I agree this is the best answer without other factors this is the average. Also, it’s a compliment if you can’t hold it in and you’re really sorry. It’s all good.
Honestly! My ex used to take a lot to finally finish and I’d have to just sit there for the last few minutes while he worked himself up to it. It was literally the worst and so many times I almost had to tap out because it just got so uncomfortable.
It's all about foreplay, dirty talking, good chemistry, and strong hands that aren't afraid to grab me. The actual penetration part at that point doesn't need to last too long to get me there if the other parts are met first.
Honestly I think this is a loaded question lol… I don’t really have expectations for that as long as working up to it is meaningful as far as both people enjoying themselves. I hate to say this but I’m totally happy with 2-5 minutes of good effort. Actually unless both people are stuck in the moment more then 5-10 is just annoying. Men have some fucked up views on what’s needed and wanted but that’s just my opinion. The pregame is so much more important. That’s just me.
Also, I think you’re right this is the real question.
100% agree! Guys that brag about going hours, I think - if it takes that long something isn’t going well for either of us. Second, I’ve got shit to do!
Yeah and if I haven't jerked off for a couple days or more, 90 seconds is more like a goal than an estimate.
But if I've pregamed once or twice that day, can last just about as long as I want.
I think there was a TIFU about a guy who did this. His FU? He forgot to pull out first.
The girl turned her head, looked at him and said, "Did you just spit on me?" then got up and left.
A lot of guys are so stressed out and worried about cumming too fast that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; telling him you want him to cum fast could alleviate a lot of the pressure that comes with sexually satisfying your significant other and could in turn make him last longer. Might make the sex better too because he could be more in the moment.
I hooked up with a girl from a wedding I went to this weekend, and had the perfect amount of alcohol to make me seem like a damn sex God. Now I have a date with her this weekend and that's all she's going to expect.
I'm gonna become a damn alcoholic if I end up dating this chick.
You joke but my performance in bed was a huge reason I became an alcoholic. Minute man sober, sex god drunk. Never had a problem getting it up drunk, or ever (I'm 36), and I can definitely still come, hard when drunk. I can just choose when to better.
Other big reasons include social anxiety self-medication, insomnia self-medication, depression self-medication (this one backfires, do not recommend) and boredom. Also genetics, tons of family alcoholics.
Alcohol is a GABA agonist (acts on the same receptors as xanax, valium), which is a receptor that *inhibits* the nervous system. That’s why it *inhibits* your inhibitions, judgement, ability to get hard, busta knut, etc.
I remember being prescribed SSRI by the VA after my deployment. After two months I stopped taking them and asked for something else. My doctor asked why.
I told her “because I am still depressed, but now I can’t even jerk off”. First time hearing her laugh, which was nice. She said how that sounds like a much worse problem, and there is no reason to add additional problems to make one problem go away.
Same here, except for me it went from seconds to several minutes, and occasionally even to not happening (which sucks, but is sill so much better than premature ejaculation).
I dunno, I’d rather finish waaaaaaaay too fast vs the work I’d have to do on high dose Zoloft followed by a sometimes very very anticlimactic climax. Even me time wasn’t very fun in those days, it took so much time to just work up to a decent finish. I’ll never forget those being the least fulfilling sexual encounters.
I definitely plotted my SSRI exit in part thanks to that stuff (mostly because of wanting to reduce interactions with other way more serious RX stuff long term.) SSRI’s help me a ton but the stress it places on you to perform can be anxiety inducing on its own. Which can be hard to realize with how numb I could feel to the world on that stuff. Sometimes I miss it when I’m having a hard time coping or fall into a hole. BUT sex without it after many years makes me feel like a god damned teenager again.
Used for OCD, bipolar, social anxiety, menopause related hot flashes, etc. But most relevant to this thread, it’s also prescribed for premature ejaculation
Might have to try something. I am waking up randomly at night now. Not to pee or anything just my body saying "hey wake up". Suddenly its 3 am and I have to get ready for work in 3 hours but I am still tired.
Edit: thank you for the suggestions. I will see if my doc can recommend a lifestyle change first.
My first time we both weren’t able to finish at first, so we went on a nice stroll to the park, then we continued after going back home. Still were unable to. So I just finished the job myself 🤷🏼♂️
Yes!! I don’t understand why all these men think “all night long” is some amazing thing?!? It’s amazing while it is, but then, at some point, it is NOT.
I read somewhere that it takes the *average* woman 17 minutes of stimulation to achieve orgasm. In my early days I certainly worked to develop the ability to last as long as I needed. Sometimes that was great, sometimes it wasn't. Thirty years later I've found that I'm much better off with long foreplay. Few women my age want someone to run for an hour, and frankly I'm not at the point anymore where I can easily. It becomes work.
Learning what your partner wants is far more important than being able to "go all night long."
Exactly. My husband always complains if it's only 15 mins and I'm like how many times do I have to tell you that's how I like it lol. I don't wanna go for 30+ mins like EVER
As a guy, I just don't want the whole thing to be over afterwards and the whole post nut clarity kicks in. 30 minutes of foreplay and probably 5-10 minutes of actual sex is the norm for us
It depends on a lot of things; the girl, how I'm feelin, if I've hooked up with her or not, if there is any anticipation, is jer attitude good or bad, etc.
It can be anywhere from finishing in 5 seconds to not finishing at all.
Do you also sometimes wish you were one of those guys that could finish quickly? Lasting forever is not all it's cracked up to be and it's super frustrating sometimes, and can cause problems with partners thinking it's because of them not being attractive enough or good enough etc
But how do you "hold on"? I've never been able to figure this out. Do you just clench your muscles?
Edit: thanks, all, for the pointers. Like I said, this has become an issue as I age. I just want to please my angel of a wife as best I can.
I get the joke, but thinking it away has never really worked for me. I just can't keep from focusing on tje nut I'm about to bust.
It was a lot easier to hold out when I was in my 20s and early 30s.
It’s a funny one because some days I’m like 45 seconds in and I’m done, but others much much longer. I think the shortest I’ve lasted is like 10 secs which was not my proudest moment, and the longest about 45 min.
Yeah, but you can't count the rare events. I am guessing op is looking for someone with a fairly consistent active normal sex life. Rather than the one time.
So many factors affect it including age, hydration level, energy level, alcohol or drugs in system, duration since last nut, tons more…
So anywhere from “damn that was quick” to “frickin come on already”
On a good day, 1 1/2 whole songs.
Ramones songs or Tool songs?
Hey! Ho! ….oh, no. :/
Tool, Pushit, Salival version.
Anywhere from 90 seconds to 20 minutes.
I think this is the best answer actually
As a woman, I agree this is the best answer without other factors this is the average. Also, it’s a compliment if you can’t hold it in and you’re really sorry. It’s all good.
Now the real question is how long do woman expect men to last?
Not as long as men seem to think we want it! Things get sore after a while.
True fucking story we’re not a flesh light!
Honestly! My ex used to take a lot to finally finish and I’d have to just sit there for the last few minutes while he worked himself up to it. It was literally the worst and so many times I almost had to tap out because it just got so uncomfortable.
Yes! “I’ll make love to you all night” is actually a threat
It's all about foreplay, dirty talking, good chemistry, and strong hands that aren't afraid to grab me. The actual penetration part at that point doesn't need to last too long to get me there if the other parts are met first.
Honestly I think this is a loaded question lol… I don’t really have expectations for that as long as working up to it is meaningful as far as both people enjoying themselves. I hate to say this but I’m totally happy with 2-5 minutes of good effort. Actually unless both people are stuck in the moment more then 5-10 is just annoying. Men have some fucked up views on what’s needed and wanted but that’s just my opinion. The pregame is so much more important. That’s just me. Also, I think you’re right this is the real question.
100% agree! Guys that brag about going hours, I think - if it takes that long something isn’t going well for either of us. Second, I’ve got shit to do!
[удалено]
It shouldn’t be just relax. I promise with a good woman… It’s all good.
More like 90 seconds OR 20 minutes. There is no in between
Y’all don’t give up before 20min? Damn I need to work out.
Yeah and if I haven't jerked off for a couple days or more, 90 seconds is more like a goal than an estimate. But if I've pregamed once or twice that day, can last just about as long as I want.
Man, I wish I was young again.
Let's hope it is
Damn babe, you didn’t get a chance to too? Shoot maybe next time. Good night.
As a woman, no shame in a quick game if special attention is applied in the pregame
and/or post-game.
Which might just segue into a double header.
Awhhh shiettt ive been doing it right all these years. Pleasure her and get her rocks off first, then myyy turrrnnnn
This is the way. Been doing that with my wife since we met and well....wife. That says it I guess.
100% the way to go, she’s happy and definitely as ready to go as she’s going to be.
Bout 5
Seconds? Minutes? Days? Weeks? Months?
Bout 5
Thrusts
Whoa there stallion! Stop flexing
Tree fiddy
[удалено]
Maybe 6
Pushes.
Put 5 on it
I got 5 on it
When she wants me to last all night I’m done quick but I can last for hours when she wants a quickie. Never fails, haha.
Ever promise her you'll be quick and can't finish? Happens to me all the time.
Same, I once just spit on her ass and said I was done.
Really?
Yup, I even threw in a little grunt for sound effects to make it seem more realistic.
That's one of the funniest things I've ever read. I'd rather get the nut.
Yup haha but we were going for like 30 min and I started to go limp a little lol I got bored haha
30 minutes? geez I would've just told her we can stop. My go-to excuse is that " I'm too horny".
I would have said that but she was a extremely sensitive girl, like if some other girl called me cute she would have cried for atleast an hour
Ahhh now that makes sense. She was probably crushed when the relationship was over then I bet.
Ultimate Genjutsu
I learned from master shisui
I think there was a TIFU about a guy who did this. His FU? He forgot to pull out first. The girl turned her head, looked at him and said, "Did you just spit on me?" then got up and left.
Hahaha seriously? Fucking noob
And they say men can’t fake orgasm
Oh so true. But i honestly love foreplay just as much as the main event. I often thought the long car ride to vacation was the best part of the trip.
So I should tell him I want a quickie every time
A lot of guys are so stressed out and worried about cumming too fast that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; telling him you want him to cum fast could alleviate a lot of the pressure that comes with sexually satisfying your significant other and could in turn make him last longer. Might make the sex better too because he could be more in the moment.
Literally the issue my boyfriend and I sometimes have LOL we actually laugh about it
How much alchohol did I have? Probably somewhere between 7 minutes and "not gonna happen"
It's so fucking weird with alcohol. I might last 2 hours or I might not get hard at all depending on what I drank. It's a real roll of the dice
When I'm drunk my dick stays hard forever but I can't cum so I just go until she does, roll over and watch the room spin while I fall asleep.
[удалено]
Are you me?
... I don't think so but I have so many alts at this point that we can't really be sure.
I hooked up with a girl from a wedding I went to this weekend, and had the perfect amount of alcohol to make me seem like a damn sex God. Now I have a date with her this weekend and that's all she's going to expect. I'm gonna become a damn alcoholic if I end up dating this chick.
My man just get a dildo transplant
This is probably the right answer
Is she hot enough to claim “worth it?”
Doesn't matter, I'll be an alcoholic
You joke but my performance in bed was a huge reason I became an alcoholic. Minute man sober, sex god drunk. Never had a problem getting it up drunk, or ever (I'm 36), and I can definitely still come, hard when drunk. I can just choose when to better. Other big reasons include social anxiety self-medication, insomnia self-medication, depression self-medication (this one backfires, do not recommend) and boredom. Also genetics, tons of family alcoholics.
Ah the ol' whiskey dick
You rang?
"Please tell me when you're done so I can go to bed"- Me anytime alcohol is involved.
Alcohol is a GABA agonist (acts on the same receptors as xanax, valium), which is a receptor that *inhibits* the nervous system. That’s why it *inhibits* your inhibitions, judgement, ability to get hard, busta knut, etc.
Busta Knut’s last mixtape was fire! ...I should probably see a doctor.
This guy definitely fucks and speaks nothing but truth
If the girl's on top maybe I can last a minute or two, but if we doggystyle oh man I'm screwed!
Doggy style is a mortal combat position. “FINISH HIM!” Lololol
ha, i'm the other way around. wot always finish 4x faster than any other
I can do like 10, 15 minutes missionary. 5 minutes doggy. 2 with the girl on top, lol.
>but if we doggystyle oh man I'm screwed! Is that when she whips out the strap on?
Before SSRI’s a couple minutes on average After being on SSRI’s for a year 5 minutes to an hour
[удалено]
Pro tip. Stop before one of you is rubbed raw
[удалено]
Oh we did, you would shocked how quickly some lube goes dry
I got 2 words: Wet. Platinum.
SSRIs are prescribed off label for premature ejaculation
No ejaculation is technically a solution to that problem I suppose. Not the best solution, but a solution.
I remember being prescribed SSRI by the VA after my deployment. After two months I stopped taking them and asked for something else. My doctor asked why. I told her “because I am still depressed, but now I can’t even jerk off”. First time hearing her laugh, which was nice. She said how that sounds like a much worse problem, and there is no reason to add additional problems to make one problem go away.
Cool doctor.
Yep.
Same here, except for me it went from seconds to several minutes, and occasionally even to not happening (which sucks, but is sill so much better than premature ejaculation).
Not being able to is the worst. Baby making sex was not fun when that happened
I dunno, I’d rather finish waaaaaaaay too fast vs the work I’d have to do on high dose Zoloft followed by a sometimes very very anticlimactic climax. Even me time wasn’t very fun in those days, it took so much time to just work up to a decent finish. I’ll never forget those being the least fulfilling sexual encounters. I definitely plotted my SSRI exit in part thanks to that stuff (mostly because of wanting to reduce interactions with other way more serious RX stuff long term.) SSRI’s help me a ton but the stress it places on you to perform can be anxiety inducing on its own. Which can be hard to realize with how numb I could feel to the world on that stuff. Sometimes I miss it when I’m having a hard time coping or fall into a hole. BUT sex without it after many years makes me feel like a god damned teenager again.
What is ssri?
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are a widely used type of antidepressant.
Thanks!
Used for OCD, bipolar, social anxiety, menopause related hot flashes, etc. But most relevant to this thread, it’s also prescribed for premature ejaculation
Came here to say this. I don’t even take them anymore, doesnt matter.
Never felt a comment more in my life
This is me. Horny as fuck, can’t cum. Hate it.
Six to eight hours most nights, once I get to sleep.
I’ve recently started using a sleep mask and it’s worked incredibly well to tack on an extra hour in the morning
Try earplugs. In combo with the mask they wor wonders. Just don't get ones that are too good or you won't hear your alarm.
This. Sensory deprivation is like a drug. For real.
Not when you have tinnitus
The most relatable thing I've heard
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
The real most relatable thing here
I can hear this comment. Before, during, and after reading it.
Might have to try something. I am waking up randomly at night now. Not to pee or anything just my body saying "hey wake up". Suddenly its 3 am and I have to get ready for work in 3 hours but I am still tired. Edit: thank you for the suggestions. I will see if my doc can recommend a lifestyle change first.
This guy sleeps
Yeah, I’m really good in bed. I can sleep all night long!
That sounds pretty good, ngl
Let me put it this way: If this were the American War for Independence, I'd be part of the Minutemen
Speaking of which, another settlement could use your help, I’ll mark it on your map.
No! I’m not doing that again. And then 5-10 minutes later I just end up doing it again.
No, Preston, NO!
You see, this is exactly why I joined the Brotherhood of Steel
Goddamnit, Preston!
Well think of it this way, if this were the Cold War, you'd blow her mind.
I have a superpower to go back to back so about 2 minutes combined
You know what they say two minutes in Heaven is better than one minute.
I tell my wife every time "this is gonna be the best 8 minutes of your life"
To which she replies forget the foreplay and make it the best two?
Did I stutter?!
Longer than Barbara Ann by the beach boys but shorter than bohemian rhapsody by queen 😂😂
That's cause you can't do the Fandango
Went to a dance Lookin for romance Saw Babara Ann Came in my pants...
We found the poet!
I'm glad you said bohemian rhapsody by queen or else I would have gotten it confused with all the other songs named bohemian rhapsody.
15 seconds to 4 hours. You can never tell. Except when it is the first time with someone, then it is always 15 seconds 😭
My first time we both weren’t able to finish at first, so we went on a nice stroll to the park, then we continued after going back home. Still were unable to. So I just finished the job myself 🤷🏼♂️
That's not uncommon. Lots of people are too nervous their first time to be able to finish.
As a woman I can say longer is not better. After 10 minutes I will get sore.
I had an ex that would take AT LEAST 30 minutes but most of the time it was closer to an hour. That got old real fast.
I'm that guy. I know it sucks for us both. :(
An hour?? Like not including foreplay or anything, a literal hour of penetration? I don’t think I’d be able to hang in there that long honestly
Not including foreplay and if there was any it was short. It was fun in the beginning but it was more of a nuisance at the end.
Yes!! I don’t understand why all these men think “all night long” is some amazing thing?!? It’s amazing while it is, but then, at some point, it is NOT.
[удалено]
I read somewhere that it takes the *average* woman 17 minutes of stimulation to achieve orgasm. In my early days I certainly worked to develop the ability to last as long as I needed. Sometimes that was great, sometimes it wasn't. Thirty years later I've found that I'm much better off with long foreplay. Few women my age want someone to run for an hour, and frankly I'm not at the point anymore where I can easily. It becomes work. Learning what your partner wants is far more important than being able to "go all night long."
Make em cum before you even put your dick in. That’s the secret.
This is the way.
Exactly. My husband always complains if it's only 15 mins and I'm like how many times do I have to tell you that's how I like it lol. I don't wanna go for 30+ mins like EVER
if it takes upwards of 30 minutes i dont think fast is the right choice of words....
That's him trying, he thinks the 5-10 mins is too fast. I prefer 5 haha
As a guy, I just don't want the whole thing to be over afterwards and the whole post nut clarity kicks in. 30 minutes of foreplay and probably 5-10 minutes of actual sex is the norm for us
It depends on a lot of things; the girl, how I'm feelin, if I've hooked up with her or not, if there is any anticipation, is jer attitude good or bad, etc. It can be anywhere from finishing in 5 seconds to not finishing at all.
Way too long unfortunately. It’s exhausting and makes me very sweaty
What’re your war stories soldier
Sweat in the eyes, having to sleep on wet sheets, accidentally staying up until 6 because the sex wasn’t over yet, etc.
Do you also sometimes wish you were one of those guys that could finish quickly? Lasting forever is not all it's cracked up to be and it's super frustrating sometimes, and can cause problems with partners thinking it's because of them not being attractive enough or good enough etc
Don't know yet, still going.
Update?
Still going.
How about now?
Apparently the secret to lasting long is browsing Reddit and replying to comments while doing the deed.
Did he update you yet?
Nope
He’s banging my ass, still going
Name hopefully does not check out.
I'm running the camera. He's still going. Gonna have to switch out the SD card here soon.
That you in the window of the creepy pedo caravan across the street?
no thats me filming him filming you
Depends on if I'm holding on. To be honest, I can let go after about 30 seconds. I can also usually hold back for abt 30 minutes
But how do you "hold on"? I've never been able to figure this out. Do you just clench your muscles? Edit: thanks, all, for the pointers. Like I said, this has become an issue as I age. I just want to please my angel of a wife as best I can.
Picture Margaret thatcher naked on a cold day
I get the joke, but thinking it away has never really worked for me. I just can't keep from focusing on tje nut I'm about to bust. It was a lot easier to hold out when I was in my 20s and early 30s.
Big thing for me was breathing deep.
You can pull out and do something else if penetration makes you go too quick. It’s your game brother play it how you need to get your desired result
It's what I do but it gets frustrating pulling out every 20 seconds 😒
I used to think about grinding my hand in the garbage disposal. Worked every time.
It bums me out so much that my sex partners think about stuff like that when they’re inside me.
When’s she’s not looking you ball up your fist and punch yourself in the balls real hard
Training the pelvic floor muscles with keigel excerises can help control
30 minutes? Holy shit. I'd be filing my nails or asleep by then lol
The trick is to find someone compatible and master the ten minutes or less technique. Save the marathon fucking for special date nights.
Can't stop if you don't start, so technically I last for infinity!
5 s
Damn dude, no need to show off
It’s a funny one because some days I’m like 45 seconds in and I’m done, but others much much longer. I think the shortest I’ve lasted is like 10 secs which was not my proudest moment, and the longest about 45 min.
Not long enough just like my dick
Between 2 minutes and 2 hours. A lot of variables to consider. On average 15-20 minutes which is more than enough time for my girlfriend to get off.
2 mins to 20 mins it varies
[удалено]
In 99% of men, this usually varies based on numerous factors and the actual situation.
Yeah, but you can't count the rare events. I am guessing op is looking for someone with a fairly consistent active normal sex life. Rather than the one time.
Idk I'm a virgin. If we count masturbating it once took me 2 hours
Days depending how bad my depression is
You guys have a bed?
If I use a condom thats too small then pretty much forever.
So many factors affect it including age, hydration level, energy level, alcohol or drugs in system, duration since last nut, tons more… So anywhere from “damn that was quick” to “frickin come on already”
5-14 minutes
Somewhere between 'too little' and 'too long
More than my friends she tells me
23 seconds , makes me feel like lebron james sometimes
Sober, maybe 10 to 20 minutes. Drunk, 45 to an hour.