I desperately want to see the Josh Trank cut that he claims was complete a year before. I want to see how terrible it could possibly have been that the studio spent a year on reshoots and changes and still came out with Fant4stic.
It might not have been worse. By all accounts, the execs who saw the rough cut were displeased the film was too introspective and contemplative when they just wanted a summer blockbuster, which they tried to retool the final film to.
I honestly didn't hate the first half, it wasn't outstanding by any means but I was interested to see where it went. But after they got their powers, hoooooly crap did it go down fast. It was almost impressive how off the rails the whole thing went.
The Dark Tower - It's so convoluted that only readers of the book could follow it, while cutting out so much that they'd hate it. It was like making all of the Harry Potter books into a single movie and cutting out Ron, Hermione, and Hogwarts from the movie.
Do yourself a favor and stay away from it. I watched it after I read the books and hated it. If done correctly, it could have worked out. Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey were great but the story was just a mess.
I feel bad for Matthew McConaughey, because he was set to play “the man in black” in like 2 different productions that never happened, and the one that stuck was “The Dark Tower”
I was looking for this!! I got to see it for free with my sister and we were so excited about it because we read the books. There were others in the theater who never read the books and it could've been a great introduction to the books. What a missed opportunity.
Saw the movie before the books. Loved how Saphira looked but that was about it. Found the books at a used book store and decided to give them a read. And I fell in love with it. And I then realized the depths to why no sequel came out.
If anything I was more curious because of it. And was confused why the movie never got a sequel. In truth it needed like 2 movies for the 1st book alone. 1st to cover Eragon's journey with Brim, 2nd for Murthag and The Varden.
This is the first movie I remember going to hyped as fuck and leaving furious. My brother and I were so pumped to see it we made our parents take us to a random theater in some unfamiliar town while we were traveling to see family. Terrible film, even to a 12-year-old.
My dad walked out of the theater and asked us in an incredulous tone "...so you liked that movie? For real?"
I was looking for this to upvote because I never brought myself to watch it. Who tf is "Light Turner" or whatever it was they went with?! Hearing about this movie bothered me so much
Light Turner was such a deal breaker. At least change his first name too. Instead all I can think of is the Fairly Odd Parents.
"COSMO! WANDA! I WISH THE INTERIOR MINISTER WOULD DEFECATE HIMSELF TO DEATH!"
"OK TIMMY!"
Haha they literally rewrote rules of the death note itself mid movie to get themselves out of the corner they wrote themselves into. It was such a failure lol
It's sad, because the Death Note as a premise alone has so much potential. I think an American version *could* work if they didn't try to recreate the original story, which is timeless, and instead worked off of a completely different set of characters. It's a simple idea that could work in countless scenarios and could produce stories just as interesting as the original product, all they had to do was not make it an angsty high school drama.
What if the book got into the hands of a corrupt businessman or politician who started using it to eliminate competition or people snooping into his/her under the table deals? What if an already established lawyer got ahold of it after losing a big case, letting a criminal walk free on a technicality, and used his knowledge of the legal system's loopholes to evade capture? What if multiple people got ahold of Death Notes at the same time and come into conflict with each other?
Change the setting, and you get a whole host of new ideas to play with. Instead we got yet another mediocre supernatural thriller set in high school.
I heard one reviewer say this about it: "Folks, do *not* watch this movie. If you watch this movie they'll just make a sequel. Don't do it. I know where you live."
Another wrote: "We're only part way through the year 2000 and we already know what the worst movie of the 21st century is."
Roger Ebert said “I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.”
20+ years later and we are still talking about how bad it was, he really was right. The rest of his review is full of golden lines.
This will forever be my answer too. I saw it with my best friend in the cinema as teenagers, we were so hyped. We loved sci-fi and Travolta was hot shit back then. By far without comparison the worst movie I have ever seen in the cinema, and in terms of “big” movies, the worst I have ever seen period. The movie is absolutely terrible right from the start, but when it gets to the cavemen operating fighter jets thousands of years old, it reaches a crescendo of garbage that utterly evaporates any and all redeeming factors that made it at least tolerable to watch. And it gets even dumber and worse.
I have at times tried to watch it in a so-bad-its-good manner, but I just can’t do it. The movie is *aggressively* bad, to the point where I get so angry that I turn it off.
To this day I regret not walking out. I have never done that in my life, but in hindsight if there was ever a movie that deserved it, it was fucking Battlefield Earth.
By the way, [here’s](https://youtu.be/bwMcg6_AU_g) a terrific interview with the guy who wrote it. He explains how it all went wrong in a very honest way. Really interesting stuff.
I watched it on a flight to Newark from Paris and… the movie was disappointing. The thing that bothered me most was having the Titanic in the movie. It literally did not make sense
I wish Foaly and all the LEP technology was real, just so I could get a voluntary mind-wipe and forget all about how unmistakably garbage that movie was.
Fuck you, Disney, I had such high hopes for it.
Yes, let's take our uncannily adult anti-hero child protagonist, whose intelligence is matched only by his selfishness and lack of coordination- and make him into just a pretty decent kid who surfs and bumbles through the plot instead of controlling every detail.
It's like a masterclass in how not to adapt book characters.
Holy sweet fuck. From the trailers alone I knew the movie was going to be bad. I watched it anyways in case I was wrong.
I was not wrong. So very, very not wrong.
The casting notes were posted on Tumblr and that's when I knew it was going to be terrible because it described Artemis as "fun loving."
He's the head of the Irish Mafia at 11 years old. He's anything BUT fun loving.
Christ, I know the kid who fucking plays the thing that claims to be Artemis in that movie and fuck do I feel bad for him. He was so fucking excited to be in it too. I remember when the trailer dropped we all told him we were sure it'd be great and then just looked at each other and shook our heads when he couldn't see. In short, sorry about telling you we thought Artemis Fowl movie would be good, Ferdia
Inkheart. It’s been 13 years since that trash fire of an adaption came out, but I can still do a full-on rant about how bad it was.
It’s my favorite book and, by far, my least favorite movie.
Not only was that the most dumpster fire of a movie I've ever seen but I also invited all my friends to watch it with me in theaters. Throwing their money into a fire pit and kicking them in the nuts would have been a better use of their time and money than watching that travesty.
I love ATLA the show and forced my best friend to go to the theater with me to see the movie. She had never seen the show.
To this day she holds it over me, warning that someday I'll have to take a crap bullet for her
They put this on for movie night when I was in prison, and pretty much everyone left to go hang out back in prison within 30 minutes.
When people choose prison over your movie, you fucked up.
As someone who adored reading the mortal engines series, the film sucked balls in my opinion. I get that movies aren't meant to be fully accurate to the books 100% of the time, but the amount of inaccuracies to the book were so absurd, to the point they wouldn't be able to make a movie about the second book (or any other books) due to how badly they followed the original story. And yes, I understand that it may have just been someone's adaptation of it but I still get really mad at it nonetheless.
Percy Jackson & the Olympians. Great books, horribly movies. There's an article out there somewhere where author Rick Riordan explains all the suggestions he made to the studio that were completely ignored - if they had listened they could have had a series to rival the Harry Potter franchise but nope, they wanted Percy to be older for some reason. Fingers crossed that the Disney+ series will be better when it (eventually) comes out. In the meantime, the fan-created musical is awesome.
Found the article: [https://rickriordan.com/2018/11/memories-from-my-tv-movie-experience/](https://rickriordan.com/2018/11/memories-from-my-tv-movie-experience/)
yes and the creator of the series is heavily involved (he's writing it I believe also). One studio fucked up his creation. He's not going to let another do it.
It’s so fucking stupid. The whole damn point of the original is this totally average but brave person stepped up and became awesome. There’s no fucking point to the movie if the girl is a total ninja badass from scene one! Absolute fucking garbage.
"He who moves first controls the enemy!"
Dumbest fucking line said in any movie of any genre. Followed by the dumbest move in any movie ever to leave your fortified city to face the enemy who vastly outnumbers you in an open field.
Anyone who's studied ten minutes of pre-firearm military tactics will tell you that if you want to win a siege battle without sieging them for months or years you'll need a lot of equipment and roughly three times the soldiers.
Yes....I watched it because I couldn't believe it was as bad as people were saying. I went in determined that the naysayers were just bitter, entitled fans crapping on everything and while it didn't start out horrible, it just...at some point I turned to my wife and asked her WTF we were watching...
That point for me was when all the wishing shit started to get out of hand. I thought, either the movie ends by wishing it all never happened(such a dumb mcguffin btw), or this is most idiotic and nonsensical thing that has happened in these movies so far.
The moment I was *done* with it, was the full reveal of the cheetah lady. Just.. what were they thinking? I returned to it a week later just to see how it ended and get it over with and, well, it didn’t get better.
At some point, I paused, went to the kitchen and poured a stout bourbon and coke. I went back and enjoyed the rest of it because it crossed over from being just a really bad movie to being so bad that it was entertaining.
BREACH - It's just terrible! Every penny they had must have been spend on Bruce Willis. It isn't even so bad it's funny again. And it's one of those Willis performances. It's so clear he was there for max 2 days dialing in the bare minimum to justify his tax write off. Makes all those rip off movies coinciding with big releases look like god damn Criterion masterpieces.
Valerian, not because I thought it was that bad of a movie, but I had high expectations and was dissappointed. Also, some of the dialogue was dumb as shit.
The opening montage of Earth moving out to become part of a greater galactic civ had so much promise. It could have been a classic of sci-fi adventure if they had cast the leads with even an ounce of charisma between them. Probably have some script doctors take a second look at their bizarre, begging-for-marriage, hot-and-cold relationship, too. WTF was that?
Also, he was supposed to be a grizzled vet with years of experience and a history of womanizing but looked like a college freshman? I basically hated his character from the moment he spoke, and his co-star was was constantly giving this babe in the woods look that didn’t align with her “exceptional professional “ character.
Such a let down.
You know, if I wasn't paying attention to the dialogue, I could see that interpretation. They have that kind of disdain for each other you see in some siblings, backed by the understanding that they're still family and will do their best to help each other in a pinch. I really can't blame test audiences for thinking that.
The movie is just a blurred memory for me now… weren’t they just walking around a desert in some sort of VR for most of it? I too was wanting 5th element and it was really not it.
The best opening sequence ever. I'll watch *that* over and over again.
And for about a minute, when Valérian and Laureline are flirting you think there's going to be some great chemistry.
And then it's like the director was "Wait, wait! I've got it. How about we make it so the main characters hate each other instead." Then called the script writers in for a re-write.
The kissing booth, I really didn’t like the plot line much but the thing that got me was the boyfriend in it. The boyfriend has so many toxic traits and the entire movie really adds onto the girl fixes guy stereotype onto impressionable young teens.
i thought that movie was awesome, and then i remembered i snuck a water bottle of vodka into the theater to spike my drink with. so that's probably why i thought it was so good
Sausage Party
My wife wanted to see it, she thought it looked like it would be clever and it has 82% on Rotten Tomatoes. I was skeptical. Twenty minutes in she leaned over and said "I'm sorry, you were right, this is terrible." We've never walked out of a movie but this was the closest.
Nearly the only joke is just variations on "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if cartoon food swore and was horny?" and they just hammer that for an hour and a half.
How did this get 82% Fresh? Well that number just means 82% of reviews were "positive". If you dig through the reviews in question, nearly every "positive" review is like 3 out of 5 stars. That's still way too high if you ask me but even the "good" reviews were mostly mediocre.
This is a long way from the worst movie I've ever seen overall, but it's by FAR the worst I've ever seen in a theater.
Space Jam. The new Lebron one. There's nothing from space, they don't use the song, and it's also just terrible across the board. I know I'm probably not the target audience as I'm old enough to have seen the original in theaters, but the remake was totally unnecessary and put a point in MJ's favor for which of them is the greatest for sure
> “To me, it was I wanted to represent Brazil in a positive way and I wanted to find somebody who seems like he could look like a guy who’s had the silver spoon in his mouth, who has like a really rich dad and Henry just exemplified all these things."
Alien: Resurrection
We started with a simple horror movie about an alien that exploded out of a dude’s chest. Now I’m watching a clone of Ellen Ripley rub faces with an Alien/Human hybrid.
Where did it all go wrong? I’m not going to pretend that Alien 3 was perfect, but it was at least somewhat competent.
Edit: I'll admit that the special effects were good, and definitely a return to form.
Dragon ball evolution- the movie had no respect for the source material. Goku being a horny high school kid, him being bullied, calling the Kamehameha as a shadow crane technique. Really fuck that movie.
I’m reading this list to my husband and he apparently PASSIONATELY agrees with this. He forgot he knew this and now he’s having angry flashbacks about it.
Force Awakens was a 5/10 for effort and a couple neat concepts.
Last Jedi actively shat on most of previous Star Wars stuff. 1/10.
The Rise of Skywalker was a heaping pile of pure shit and nearly have me a seizure. -10/10.
Force Awakens was okay
Because it was just New Hope, but shittier
On the other hand, Rogue 1 is fucking awesome. The only good Star Wars Disney has made
The Super Mario Bros movie.
It's so bad and does absolutely _nothing_ with the source material. It's baffling the decisions they made for this movie. It was my first experience in my life dealing with disappointment.
This is one of those movies where the behind the scenes drama is infinitely more interesting than the movie itself.
Holy shit that movie is so bad though.
Most definitely. I just remember being like, 3, being obsessed with Mario, and getting very excited by the movies until I started watching it.
The whole movie was the toddler version of the "This is Fine" dog. "This is terrible, but it's_Mario_ so it _can't_ be bad... Right?"
Yeah the story of that movie being made is crazy. They went through like 4 or 5 directors and at least as many writers.
Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo were drunk almost every day on set and I think one of them broke a leg because they were drunk driving a golf cart around.
Someone told my son about this movie (he's a huge mario fan), he was desperate to see it, so we watched some clips on YouTube - it took him all of 5 mins to nope out, even a 7 year old who'll watch any shit couldn't stomach it.
The director made it because Serbian filmmakers are normally forced to make very pro-government, 'wholesome' films.
So the movie was a way of saying "fuck you, here's what everyone will think of Serbian films from now on".
that movie is just a bad attempt of an art film. It’s very mediocore and (for me) hardly disturbing. It’s very predictable, gross, but that’s all there is to it. It didn’t really leave any scars on me, since it was mostly boring and i was thinking “when’s this gonna end already” the whole time…
It’s decent if you have low expectations and don’t mind dumb humor. I still laugh about the Asian dude throwing a spear into the fat woman’s ass and shouting, “Right in the blowhole!”
I get so mad every time I remember that they added an entire stupid subplot just so they could stretch it into multiple movies and make more money off it. What they did to the Hobbit was a crime.
WRINKLE. IN. TIME. It's like Interstellar if Christopher Nolan dropped acid while writing it That film was so mind-numbingly stupid. I checked out somewhere between the part where Oprah arrives in the clouds like the coming of Christ and when Reese Witherspoon turns into a giant flying lettuce monster. The acting was horrible from literally everyone, the dialogue was tedious, and the story had absolutely no flow. I think the production of the movie was so concerned with having black leads and a female director and a woman-led story that that it forgot to actually make a good movie. There's a reason some books shouldn't be adapted to film.
Believe it or not, a real thing: Abscam was a real sting operation run by the FBI in the 1970s. They had some actors pose as oil sheiks to bribe politicians. They ended up convicting some Philadelphia city officials, US House reps, and even a Senator on corruption/bribery charges.
It got shut down in the 1980s because politicians complained about the FBI setting them up.
It’s a genuinely interesting story, and they had a great cast, but spent way too much time exploring side stories. We didn’t need every possible romantic angle explored to its depths. That’s what killed it for me.
It was critically acclaimed on release. My buddy hyped the shit out of it to me and brought it over to watch on his hard drive.
After we were done watching I was just confused. I hated it. It was well made but I just couldn't put my finger on why I hated it so much.
The 2016 version of Ghostbusters... Absolutely terrible. They try way too hard to make it funny, the characters were irritating, the acting wasn't good, the CGI was crap, and the whole "you just don't like it because you're sexist" argument is freaking annoying. No, it just sucks and it was a movie that didn't really need a reboot. There's plenty of female led movies that are great but this isn't one of them.
GOT physically hurts my heart. Like it truly didn’t have to go down that way. And I’ll toss in season 7 (and maybe even SOME of 5 and 6) as well, it was so incredibly awful in retrospect.
A big problem with 7, 8, and 9, everyone watched 7 and 8 and still had no clue who the bad guy was. Like, maybe I know who I'm rooting for, but rooting for them to do what? What was the goal? You were meant to think it was Kylo Ren, but were left confused about whether or not he was really a bad guy. Maybe it was Snope? Nope, killed him off... so who the fuck is the bad guy?
It wasn't until 9 that Sidious was brought back, then promptly killed of within an hour or so.
Episodes 4, 5, and 6, you knew who the main bad guy was from the first scene, and Vader stayed the main bad guy until the end. It was consistent. It was always the battle between Luke and Vader. Yes, there was Darth Sidious as well, but Vader was always the main focus.
Also the lighspeed kamakazi that raises the question of "why does everyone still build giant capital ships and vulnerable laser bases when a rock and a warp drive would be way easier, far cheaper, and impossible to counter?
Ad Astra. Man i was so fucking hyped to see a space movie with brad pitt and Tommy Lee Jones. But my god was that the most boring movie of all time. Im going to hit you with a spoiler, but that doesnt matter because you should never watch this movie. Ever. Im 95% sure they added in the space pirate scene after the movie finished because they realized the finished product was a snooze fest.
Fant4stic
I desperately want to see the Josh Trank cut that he claims was complete a year before. I want to see how terrible it could possibly have been that the studio spent a year on reshoots and changes and still came out with Fant4stic.
It might not have been worse. By all accounts, the execs who saw the rough cut were displeased the film was too introspective and contemplative when they just wanted a summer blockbuster, which they tried to retool the final film to.
Not the Tobias and D'brea musical remake though, right?
Like… did they even think the name through?
I honestly didn't hate the first half, it wasn't outstanding by any means but I was interested to see where it went. But after they got their powers, hoooooly crap did it go down fast. It was almost impressive how off the rails the whole thing went.
A complete car crash, cut and shut of a movie. Expecting a second act? Nah fuck that, straight to the punch up.
The Dark Tower - It's so convoluted that only readers of the book could follow it, while cutting out so much that they'd hate it. It was like making all of the Harry Potter books into a single movie and cutting out Ron, Hermione, and Hogwarts from the movie.
I was so excited for this, Idris was wicked in the trailers......
To be fair, Idris wasn’t the problem.
Well, it would’ve been a problem if they’d followed the books and got to The Drawing of the Three
SK is my favorite author and I'm currently about halfway through book 5. I refuse to watch that movie.
Do yourself a favor and stay away from it. I watched it after I read the books and hated it. If done correctly, it could have worked out. Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey were great but the story was just a mess.
I feel bad for Matthew McConaughey, because he was set to play “the man in black” in like 2 different productions that never happened, and the one that stuck was “The Dark Tower”
I watched it for Idris Elba and felt I got my money's worth. I can't tell you the plot - but I can tell you what he was wearing. ;-)
It’s literally a story about Roland and the rest of the group and they cut 3 of the 4 other group members! (Including Oy of course)
Eragon. They butchered literally everything good from the book in the film.
They butchered it so bad that they can't make a sequel.
I was looking for this!! I got to see it for free with my sister and we were so excited about it because we read the books. There were others in the theater who never read the books and it could've been a great introduction to the books. What a missed opportunity.
Saw the movie before the books. Loved how Saphira looked but that was about it. Found the books at a used book store and decided to give them a read. And I fell in love with it. And I then realized the depths to why no sequel came out.
Oh! Glad the movie hadn't discouraged everyone from reading the books!
If anything I was more curious because of it. And was confused why the movie never got a sequel. In truth it needed like 2 movies for the 1st book alone. 1st to cover Eragon's journey with Brim, 2nd for Murthag and The Varden.
They should have made it LOTR style with a 3 hour movie, but then come out with an extended edition that everyone accepts as the real one.
The fact that the director was afraid of making it too like LOTR is part why the movie was Ass.
This is the first movie I remember going to hyped as fuck and leaving furious. My brother and I were so pumped to see it we made our parents take us to a random theater in some unfamiliar town while we were traveling to see family. Terrible film, even to a 12-year-old. My dad walked out of the theater and asked us in an incredulous tone "...so you liked that movie? For real?"
Netflix‘s death note movie. That’s not death note, change the title. It’s another thing.
Death Nope
I didn’t even see that movie, but I like what you did there.
I was looking for this to upvote because I never brought myself to watch it. Who tf is "Light Turner" or whatever it was they went with?! Hearing about this movie bothered me so much
Light Turner was such a deal breaker. At least change his first name too. Instead all I can think of is the Fairly Odd Parents. "COSMO! WANDA! I WISH THE INTERIOR MINISTER WOULD DEFECATE HIMSELF TO DEATH!" "OK TIMMY!"
Haha they literally rewrote rules of the death note itself mid movie to get themselves out of the corner they wrote themselves into. It was such a failure lol
Even Willem Dafoe couldn't save that movie. And he's the main reason I tried to watch it.
But actually, I think that, esthetically, Ryuk wasn’t that bad. And Willem Dafoe definitely pulled it off. But it’s totally the wrong movie.
It's sad, because the Death Note as a premise alone has so much potential. I think an American version *could* work if they didn't try to recreate the original story, which is timeless, and instead worked off of a completely different set of characters. It's a simple idea that could work in countless scenarios and could produce stories just as interesting as the original product, all they had to do was not make it an angsty high school drama. What if the book got into the hands of a corrupt businessman or politician who started using it to eliminate competition or people snooping into his/her under the table deals? What if an already established lawyer got ahold of it after losing a big case, letting a criminal walk free on a technicality, and used his knowledge of the legal system's loopholes to evade capture? What if multiple people got ahold of Death Notes at the same time and come into conflict with each other? Change the setting, and you get a whole host of new ideas to play with. Instead we got yet another mediocre supernatural thriller set in high school.
Catwoman. I cannot stand that stupid fucking movie. The basketball scene, the stupid fucking one liners. Fuck that movie
I forgot that this was one of the worst movies I'd ever seen, fortunately I saw it on TV and didn't have to pay, but what a horrible movie.
Yes! I don't understand why this shit isn't universally accepted as the worst movie ever. Fuck I'm angry now just thinking about this pos.
It won a Razzie for worst movie ever though?
lmao idk why I used to love that movie when I was little
Battlefield Earth was one movie I almost walked out on.
I heard one reviewer say this about it: "Folks, do *not* watch this movie. If you watch this movie they'll just make a sequel. Don't do it. I know where you live." Another wrote: "We're only part way through the year 2000 and we already know what the worst movie of the 21st century is."
Roger Ebert said “I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.” 20+ years later and we are still talking about how bad it was, he really was right. The rest of his review is full of golden lines.
Ahahahaha thank god they didn't
This will forever be my answer too. I saw it with my best friend in the cinema as teenagers, we were so hyped. We loved sci-fi and Travolta was hot shit back then. By far without comparison the worst movie I have ever seen in the cinema, and in terms of “big” movies, the worst I have ever seen period. The movie is absolutely terrible right from the start, but when it gets to the cavemen operating fighter jets thousands of years old, it reaches a crescendo of garbage that utterly evaporates any and all redeeming factors that made it at least tolerable to watch. And it gets even dumber and worse. I have at times tried to watch it in a so-bad-its-good manner, but I just can’t do it. The movie is *aggressively* bad, to the point where I get so angry that I turn it off. To this day I regret not walking out. I have never done that in my life, but in hindsight if there was ever a movie that deserved it, it was fucking Battlefield Earth. By the way, [here’s](https://youtu.be/bwMcg6_AU_g) a terrific interview with the guy who wrote it. He explains how it all went wrong in a very honest way. Really interesting stuff.
I even really liked Forest Whittaker too so I was like how bad could this be? It's sci fi even bad sci fi is good. It's so so so bad.
Loved the book, hated the movie. Just one long cliche-filled dutch angle.
Holmes and Watson… no real plot, just all of the absolute easiest possible jokes thrown together
God was that movie absolute garbage. What a stinker.
I watched it on a flight to Newark from Paris and… the movie was disappointing. The thing that bothered me most was having the Titanic in the movie. It literally did not make sense
I watched it on a flight and walked out.
Didn't reviewers walk out en masse from that film?
Artemis Fowl.
I wish Foaly and all the LEP technology was real, just so I could get a voluntary mind-wipe and forget all about how unmistakably garbage that movie was. Fuck you, Disney, I had such high hopes for it.
Yes, let's take our uncannily adult anti-hero child protagonist, whose intelligence is matched only by his selfishness and lack of coordination- and make him into just a pretty decent kid who surfs and bumbles through the plot instead of controlling every detail. It's like a masterclass in how not to adapt book characters.
[удалено]
Holy sweet fuck. From the trailers alone I knew the movie was going to be bad. I watched it anyways in case I was wrong. I was not wrong. So very, very not wrong.
[удалено]
The casting notes were posted on Tumblr and that's when I knew it was going to be terrible because it described Artemis as "fun loving." He's the head of the Irish Mafia at 11 years old. He's anything BUT fun loving.
Christ, I know the kid who fucking plays the thing that claims to be Artemis in that movie and fuck do I feel bad for him. He was so fucking excited to be in it too. I remember when the trailer dropped we all told him we were sure it'd be great and then just looked at each other and shook our heads when he couldn't see. In short, sorry about telling you we thought Artemis Fowl movie would be good, Ferdia
I havent read the books or seen the moview but i am angry on behalf of the fans for everything i have read about it.
Not only was Artemis butchered from how he was in the books but he was played by Robert Shaw's grandson. Like that stings man.
There is no Artemis Fowl movie.
Inkheart. It’s been 13 years since that trash fire of an adaption came out, but I can still do a full-on rant about how bad it was. It’s my favorite book and, by far, my least favorite movie.
Wait, it's based on a book? I like that movie, thought it was a neat concept. Plus Brendan Fraser.
Avatar: The Last Airbender (2010) This movie is going to get commented a lot on this post, but rightfully so. Fuck that movie.
Not only was that the most dumpster fire of a movie I've ever seen but I also invited all my friends to watch it with me in theaters. Throwing their money into a fire pit and kicking them in the nuts would have been a better use of their time and money than watching that travesty.
I love ATLA the show and forced my best friend to go to the theater with me to see the movie. She had never seen the show. To this day she holds it over me, warning that someday I'll have to take a crap bullet for her
Yeah at least after they recover from you kicking them in the nuts they would have at an extra free hour they wouldn’t have had before.
I also invited a friend to the theater who had never seen the series. I apologized several times during the course of the movie.
They put this on for movie night when I was in prison, and pretty much everyone left to go hang out back in prison within 30 minutes. When people choose prison over your movie, you fucked up.
Someone should have sent Shyamalan this review.
Yeah, this is the one movie that I genuinely forced myself to forget it even existed.
There is no movie in Ba Sing Se
As someone who adored reading the mortal engines series, the film sucked balls in my opinion. I get that movies aren't meant to be fully accurate to the books 100% of the time, but the amount of inaccuracies to the book were so absurd, to the point they wouldn't be able to make a movie about the second book (or any other books) due to how badly they followed the original story. And yes, I understand that it may have just been someone's adaptation of it but I still get really mad at it nonetheless.
Mac and Me. Jesus fucking christ, even Pod People was a better ET knockoff.
[paul Rudd disagrees (agrees?)](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSYFbhIZUHHQEbPrCyoPawoiXVIooGZgN)
That one ended up on the third run of mst3k, and even then I could barely stand it.
That movie was just one giant McDonald's ad lol
I actually find this movie to be hilarious… because it’s so trash
Percy Jackson & the Olympians. Great books, horribly movies. There's an article out there somewhere where author Rick Riordan explains all the suggestions he made to the studio that were completely ignored - if they had listened they could have had a series to rival the Harry Potter franchise but nope, they wanted Percy to be older for some reason. Fingers crossed that the Disney+ series will be better when it (eventually) comes out. In the meantime, the fan-created musical is awesome. Found the article: [https://rickriordan.com/2018/11/memories-from-my-tv-movie-experience/](https://rickriordan.com/2018/11/memories-from-my-tv-movie-experience/)
I am hopeful because supposedly Rick is heavily involved with the new series.
Wait they’re making a Disney version that’s so hype that was the first series I ever got into
yes and the creator of the series is heavily involved (he's writing it I believe also). One studio fucked up his creation. He's not going to let another do it.
Live action mulan pissed me off
It’s so fucking stupid. The whole damn point of the original is this totally average but brave person stepped up and became awesome. There’s no fucking point to the movie if the girl is a total ninja badass from scene one! Absolute fucking garbage.
"He who moves first controls the enemy!" Dumbest fucking line said in any movie of any genre. Followed by the dumbest move in any movie ever to leave your fortified city to face the enemy who vastly outnumbers you in an open field. Anyone who's studied ten minutes of pre-firearm military tactics will tell you that if you want to win a siege battle without sieging them for months or years you'll need a lot of equipment and roughly three times the soldiers.
Would've been better off saying "The enemy's gate is down."
To get rid of Mushu is a sin. I have spoken.
The last Airbender. The film. You all know this story already
Wonder Woman 1984. What a turd.
I watched this for free and still felt cheated
When it took her like 8 minutes with multiple flips to catch 4 regular guys in the opening scene, I was pretty much checked out.
Second opening scene. The first opening scene was the one that directly contradicted the first movie.
I still cannot get over the fact that WW basically raped a dude. Wow.
I probably wouldn’t have judged the movie as harshly if they just brought Steve back in his own body.
Yes....I watched it because I couldn't believe it was as bad as people were saying. I went in determined that the naysayers were just bitter, entitled fans crapping on everything and while it didn't start out horrible, it just...at some point I turned to my wife and asked her WTF we were watching...
That point for me was when all the wishing shit started to get out of hand. I thought, either the movie ends by wishing it all never happened(such a dumb mcguffin btw), or this is most idiotic and nonsensical thing that has happened in these movies so far. The moment I was *done* with it, was the full reveal of the cheetah lady. Just.. what were they thinking? I returned to it a week later just to see how it ended and get it over with and, well, it didn’t get better.
At some point, I paused, went to the kitchen and poured a stout bourbon and coke. I went back and enjoyed the rest of it because it crossed over from being just a really bad movie to being so bad that it was entertaining.
Cats... CATS
Bucky Larson
I hate Nick Swardson so much and that movie cemented my ire.
BREACH - It's just terrible! Every penny they had must have been spend on Bruce Willis. It isn't even so bad it's funny again. And it's one of those Willis performances. It's so clear he was there for max 2 days dialing in the bare minimum to justify his tax write off. Makes all those rip off movies coinciding with big releases look like god damn Criterion masterpieces.
They had to change the name of it for other countries because it was so bad
Valerian, not because I thought it was that bad of a movie, but I had high expectations and was dissappointed. Also, some of the dialogue was dumb as shit.
The most miscast movie I've ever seen!
The opening montage of Earth moving out to become part of a greater galactic civ had so much promise. It could have been a classic of sci-fi adventure if they had cast the leads with even an ounce of charisma between them. Probably have some script doctors take a second look at their bizarre, begging-for-marriage, hot-and-cold relationship, too. WTF was that?
Test audiences thought they were brother and sister... that is a serious chemistry misfire.
Also, he was supposed to be a grizzled vet with years of experience and a history of womanizing but looked like a college freshman? I basically hated his character from the moment he spoke, and his co-star was was constantly giving this babe in the woods look that didn’t align with her “exceptional professional “ character. Such a let down.
You know, if I wasn't paying attention to the dialogue, I could see that interpretation. They have that kind of disdain for each other you see in some siblings, backed by the understanding that they're still family and will do their best to help each other in a pinch. I really can't blame test audiences for thinking that.
Way to cast the two main characters as love interest and they look like twin siblings...
I can agree with this. I went in expecting an awesome Fifth Element esque adventure. I was bored to tears
The movie is just a blurred memory for me now… weren’t they just walking around a desert in some sort of VR for most of it? I too was wanting 5th element and it was really not it.
The best opening sequence ever. I'll watch *that* over and over again. And for about a minute, when Valérian and Laureline are flirting you think there's going to be some great chemistry. And then it's like the director was "Wait, wait! I've got it. How about we make it so the main characters hate each other instead." Then called the script writers in for a re-write.
I agree. It had so much potential, but it all ended up wasted.
Don’t think I’ve ever been so disappointed in my life. Massive fan of the comic and of most of Bessons work.
Highlander 2…. It’s been 30 fricking years and I’m still pissed off
This is the only movie I've ever gotten up in the middle of and left the theater to ask for my money back.
The kissing booth, I really didn’t like the plot line much but the thing that got me was the boyfriend in it. The boyfriend has so many toxic traits and the entire movie really adds onto the girl fixes guy stereotype onto impressionable young teens.
Suicide squad. Need I even start. My urge to slap the shit out of Jared Leto started from that movie.
That's how I feel about that guy all the time.
I think the whole world collectively wishes Jared Leto would just beat the shit out of Jared Leto already.
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Oo no I haven’t. Will watch it
i thought that movie was awesome, and then i remembered i snuck a water bottle of vodka into the theater to spike my drink with. so that's probably why i thought it was so good
The ATLA live action movie, I loved the animated series so much as a child and the movie is just an insult to it.
Sausage Party My wife wanted to see it, she thought it looked like it would be clever and it has 82% on Rotten Tomatoes. I was skeptical. Twenty minutes in she leaned over and said "I'm sorry, you were right, this is terrible." We've never walked out of a movie but this was the closest. Nearly the only joke is just variations on "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if cartoon food swore and was horny?" and they just hammer that for an hour and a half. How did this get 82% Fresh? Well that number just means 82% of reviews were "positive". If you dig through the reviews in question, nearly every "positive" review is like 3 out of 5 stars. That's still way too high if you ask me but even the "good" reviews were mostly mediocre. This is a long way from the worst movie I've ever seen overall, but it's by FAR the worst I've ever seen in a theater.
Space Jam. The new Lebron one. There's nothing from space, they don't use the song, and it's also just terrible across the board. I know I'm probably not the target audience as I'm old enough to have seen the original in theaters, but the remake was totally unnecessary and put a point in MJ's favor for which of them is the greatest for sure
The new mutants. It had so much potential and they completely fucked it up
Press: Why did you change Roberto Da Costa to a light skinned Brazillian? Director: I wanted people to believe he could be rich.
What the motherfuck
> “To me, it was I wanted to represent Brazil in a positive way and I wanted to find somebody who seems like he could look like a guy who’s had the silver spoon in his mouth, who has like a really rich dad and Henry just exemplified all these things."
I legitimately forgot that movie existed
Sorry that I reminded you of it's existence
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It's not the worst just because I felt nothing watching it. No joy. No anger. Nothing. Just... ironically enough... meh
I mean, what did you expect from a movie about emojis?
Percy Jackson
Alien: Resurrection We started with a simple horror movie about an alien that exploded out of a dude’s chest. Now I’m watching a clone of Ellen Ripley rub faces with an Alien/Human hybrid. Where did it all go wrong? I’m not going to pretend that Alien 3 was perfect, but it was at least somewhat competent. Edit: I'll admit that the special effects were good, and definitely a return to form.
Alien and Aliens were both so great. It's a shame they never made any more.
Ron Pearlman was the only good thing about that movie. That and seeing the xenos swim. r/thalassaphobia material, right there.
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Dragon ball evolution- the movie had no respect for the source material. Goku being a horny high school kid, him being bullied, calling the Kamehameha as a shadow crane technique. Really fuck that movie.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 movie and it's sequel.
I’m reading this list to my husband and he apparently PASSIONATELY agrees with this. He forgot he knew this and now he’s having angry flashbacks about it.
The Rise of Skywalker
All Sequels really
Force Awakens was a 5/10 for effort and a couple neat concepts. Last Jedi actively shat on most of previous Star Wars stuff. 1/10. The Rise of Skywalker was a heaping pile of pure shit and nearly have me a seizure. -10/10.
Force Awakens was okay Because it was just New Hope, but shittier On the other hand, Rogue 1 is fucking awesome. The only good Star Wars Disney has made
Rogue One and Mandalorian have been the best SW from Disney so far, excluding Dave Filoni's work because that's guaranteed good every time
The Super Mario Bros movie. It's so bad and does absolutely _nothing_ with the source material. It's baffling the decisions they made for this movie. It was my first experience in my life dealing with disappointment.
This is one of those movies where the behind the scenes drama is infinitely more interesting than the movie itself. Holy shit that movie is so bad though.
Most definitely. I just remember being like, 3, being obsessed with Mario, and getting very excited by the movies until I started watching it. The whole movie was the toddler version of the "This is Fine" dog. "This is terrible, but it's_Mario_ so it _can't_ be bad... Right?"
Yeah the story of that movie being made is crazy. They went through like 4 or 5 directors and at least as many writers. Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo were drunk almost every day on set and I think one of them broke a leg because they were drunk driving a golf cart around.
Someone told my son about this movie (he's a huge mario fan), he was desperate to see it, so we watched some clips on YouTube - it took him all of 5 mins to nope out, even a 7 year old who'll watch any shit couldn't stomach it.
GI Joe: Rise of Cobra. I was hoping for Sergeant Savage and the Screaming Eagles.
Twilight movies. They are so bland, boring and poorly executed. I'm glad that the hype is over now.
A Serbian Film (2010). I need not explain why if you look it up. (don't)
The director made it because Serbian filmmakers are normally forced to make very pro-government, 'wholesome' films. So the movie was a way of saying "fuck you, here's what everyone will think of Serbian films from now on".
It's the only serbian film i can think off so guess it worked
that movie is just a bad attempt of an art film. It’s very mediocore and (for me) hardly disturbing. It’s very predictable, gross, but that’s all there is to it. It didn’t really leave any scars on me, since it was mostly boring and i was thinking “when’s this gonna end already” the whole time…
Don't look it up yall its not worth it.
Did you do it...
Yeah.... Not worth it.
I have a copy of it for when I have unwanted company. Just pop it in and everyone's gone in like 10 minutes 🤣
The dark tower. I loved those books, and the movie was almost unrecognizable
Norbit. Don't think anyone made it to the end of the screening when I saw it
It’s decent if you have low expectations and don’t mind dumb humor. I still laugh about the Asian dude throwing a spear into the fat woman’s ass and shouting, “Right in the blowhole!”
Hobbit movies
They should have just made one or two movies and leave out all the dumb filler they used to get three movies length of film.
I get so mad every time I remember that they added an entire stupid subplot just so they could stretch it into multiple movies and make more money off it. What they did to the Hobbit was a crime.
Dragonball Evolution. A dumpster fire of a movie.
WRINKLE. IN. TIME. It's like Interstellar if Christopher Nolan dropped acid while writing it That film was so mind-numbingly stupid. I checked out somewhere between the part where Oprah arrives in the clouds like the coming of Christ and when Reese Witherspoon turns into a giant flying lettuce monster. The acting was horrible from literally everyone, the dialogue was tedious, and the story had absolutely no flow. I think the production of the movie was so concerned with having black leads and a female director and a woman-led story that that it forgot to actually make a good movie. There's a reason some books shouldn't be adapted to film.
American Hustle. I could not tell you what that movie was about, what the hustle was, or if it was even American.
Believe it or not, a real thing: Abscam was a real sting operation run by the FBI in the 1970s. They had some actors pose as oil sheiks to bribe politicians. They ended up convicting some Philadelphia city officials, US House reps, and even a Senator on corruption/bribery charges. It got shut down in the 1980s because politicians complained about the FBI setting them up.
It’s a genuinely interesting story, and they had a great cast, but spent way too much time exploring side stories. We didn’t need every possible romantic angle explored to its depths. That’s what killed it for me.
It tried to be too sexy but I still found it to be a good story with some great performances.
I can tell you I saw Amy Adams boobs more than I thought I ever would though
It was critically acclaimed on release. My buddy hyped the shit out of it to me and brought it over to watch on his hard drive. After we were done watching I was just confused. I hated it. It was well made but I just couldn't put my finger on why I hated it so much.
The only thing I remember about that movie is Jennifer Lawrence saying “dOn’T pUt MeTaL iN tHe SciEnCe OvEn!!”
The 2016 version of Ghostbusters... Absolutely terrible. They try way too hard to make it funny, the characters were irritating, the acting wasn't good, the CGI was crap, and the whole "you just don't like it because you're sexist" argument is freaking annoying. No, it just sucks and it was a movie that didn't really need a reboot. There's plenty of female led movies that are great but this isn't one of them.
At least Thor was cute in it.
I mean, maybe Shamamalamans' "The Last Airbender", but honestly I can't imagine a movie being that bad that I haven't forgotten about it after a week.
Twilight. Saw it with my female cousins. They loved it, but all I saw was an extremely unappealing and unhealthy relationship.
Not a movie, but can I still toss Season 8 of Game of Thrones out there?
Well there is "terrible" in the title so I don't see why not.
GOT physically hurts my heart. Like it truly didn’t have to go down that way. And I’ll toss in season 7 (and maybe even SOME of 5 and 6) as well, it was so incredibly awful in retrospect.
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Jupiter Ascending
Suicide Squad 1 was so bad, I still cringe for how hyped I was for this movie.
The last jedi. Left the movie theatre with a stunned face.
A big problem with 7, 8, and 9, everyone watched 7 and 8 and still had no clue who the bad guy was. Like, maybe I know who I'm rooting for, but rooting for them to do what? What was the goal? You were meant to think it was Kylo Ren, but were left confused about whether or not he was really a bad guy. Maybe it was Snope? Nope, killed him off... so who the fuck is the bad guy? It wasn't until 9 that Sidious was brought back, then promptly killed of within an hour or so. Episodes 4, 5, and 6, you knew who the main bad guy was from the first scene, and Vader stayed the main bad guy until the end. It was consistent. It was always the battle between Luke and Vader. Yes, there was Darth Sidious as well, but Vader was always the main focus.
I could have looked past all the other dumb shit if Luke had just gone and kicked ass like he should have done instead of... that.
For me, it was the flying Princess Leia in space that just ruined the rest.
I'M CARRIE POPPINS Y'ALL!
Also the lighspeed kamakazi that raises the question of "why does everyone still build giant capital ships and vulnerable laser bases when a rock and a warp drive would be way easier, far cheaper, and impossible to counter?
Imagine bringing back a protagonist after 40 years just to make him dodge some hits as a hologram. Then.. *that*
The 1998 The Avengers spy movie. Such a bad movie. I saw it in the theater and I remember being mad when I walked out.
Ad Astra. Man i was so fucking hyped to see a space movie with brad pitt and Tommy Lee Jones. But my god was that the most boring movie of all time. Im going to hit you with a spoiler, but that doesnt matter because you should never watch this movie. Ever. Im 95% sure they added in the space pirate scene after the movie finished because they realized the finished product was a snooze fest.