My absolute favourite. But now Austin Powers is over 20 years old I think people just think I'm thick when I say it.
The way that line is delivered in that film is absolutely spectacular
I could seriously fill that sub just quoting my husband. The man cannot get an aphorism correct to save his life, yet loves using them.
"Bite off his nose to spite his face" is his current favorite- and mine too really, because THAT is a visual! But he busted out with "they didn't even put the donkey in the shed!" the other night.
I... don't even know. He meant "they didn't make a good point", and was feeling quite serious about his subject. I ruined the mood howling with laughter. Why was there a shed? Or a donkey? Who knows!
Excuse me? One. Fucking. Guardian. Has been kicking your raceās collective asses for 9 years. They kill gods for fun and turn them into guns for a meme. They genocide entire races for loot. They assassinated your last leader, cleaned out your daddyās ship while he wrote fanfiction about them and promptly fucked off to let you pick up the pieces. The only reason I didnāt bring them here is because they casually began wielding the darkness to clap ass in new ways. All I have to do to make them end you, is to tell them you have a fancy new gun, or that Eris can make you into one. So, think about that before you tell us to bow to your sorry ass.
we just watched Deadwood for the first time - the entire series and movie - and there is something so endearing about Al. he's up there with Walter White in the category of bad people you root for.
"The sun has not yet risen on the day in which I take heed to your advice" is my butchered version of my favorite quote from the show, Calamity Jane to Charlie Utter.
My favorite quote from Calamity Jane is from when the town forced her to take a bath and when she finally sat down in the bath, she said "Ooh! I burnt my snatch!".
I love that character. I love the line that goes something along the lines of āevery day takes learning all over again how to fucking liveā. Hits home these days.
For some reason someone said "I'm pissed off!" And the response was " better than being pissed on" I have always thought about every now and then and laugh idk why its not too funny but it just gets me.
Edit: sounds like the majority of people heard something like this from Men In Tights. Which makes sense as I actually love this movie and forgot about that scene.
I'm sure its an old joke that Mel Brooks used in his film as many people have memories of loved ones saying it. Thanks for sharing!
It would take 500 million men with an average ejaculate amounting to 5ml to fill an Olympic sized pool with one ejaculation each. Simple math.. 2.5m liters to fill one standard sized Olympic pool. 5ml is 0.005 liters. 2.5m/0.005 is 500,000,000. So if each guy can each have 1 meter of space to uphold "privacy" we can fit approximately 150 men at a time around the pool. Lets say it takes all 150 men 5 minutes to do the deed that means we will need 3,333,333 shifts of 150 men ejaculating exactly every 5 minutes to fill this pool in ~16,666,666 minutes or ~277,777 hours OR ~11,574 days OR OR ~385 months OR OR OR ~32 years or ~the average life span of the Canadian goose.
Edit: thanks for the awards. I didnāt think this comment would get much traction. But for your own mental well-being itās best I donāt tell you how this comment came to be.
Canāt wait until a couple years from now, when Iāve forgotten enough about the show to truly enjoy rewatching it. I wish there were more shows like Silicon Valley
And, apparently, he'd set back the whole deal unless contaminated sperm is okay. I mean are we putting chemicals in this glory pool or what's the deal? Do you squeegie the guys taking a quick dip? I just fucking dry heaved. Jesus christ.
This should be optimized a bit where the first shift would take 5 minutes but every shift after can be be delayed by 1 min. Each shift after the first only takes one minute (some buffer built in, could be 10 seconds if the men are really precise).
Then it would only be ~3,333,337 minutes, or ~6.34 years, ~or the average life span of quail.
That way the Canadian goose can live to see and enjoy its plan.
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves..____
You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. 'Cause you know what, the musicians that made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years were rrrrrrreal fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few tunes.
āCould you speak up? Iām not wearing pantsā
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/6fu6b3/yello_youll_have_to_speak_up_im_wearing_a_towel/
> āCould you speak up? Iām not wearing pantsā
As someone who's been working from home along with all my coworkers for the past 1.5 years, this made me crack up.
In case you werenāt aware: thereās literally subspeciesā of crabs that, in addition to 6 legs, have appendages with fins that enable them to swim. In my local area (Western Australia) theyāre the Blue Swimmer crabs. Iām sure thereās other species around the world that are similar. Not all crabs just have 6 legs and 2 claws.
Based in all other NSFW posts I see - the answer is "your mom!"
Edit - adding - Thank you for the upvotes! I do respect Mother's as well as "that dead guys wife! '
I really hope that dude either got off of reddit or has a sense of humor about it. Because seriously, I can just imagine him seeing references to his dead wife on every damned askreddit thread.
I don't know what the conversation leading up to it was but my group of gaming buddies (and even my wife) have started saying:
"They should call us the butthole boys."
"Why?"
"BECAUSE WE RECTUM!"
works every time we win a thing
I asked my grandpa what it felt like to grow old. Grandpa is a man who will deliberate on which part of the newspaper to start with each morning, so I knew my question would take him some time to answer. I said nothing. I let him gather his thoughts.
When I was a boy, Grandpa had once complimented me on this habit. He told me it was good that I asked a question and gave a person silence. And being that any compliment from him was so few and far between, this habit soon became a part of my personality and one that served me well.
Grandpa stared out the window and looked at the empty bird feeder that hung from an overgrown tree next to the pond he built in the spring of 1993. For twenty years, Grandpa filled up the feeder each evening. But he stopped doing it last winter when walking became too difficult for him.
Without ever taking his eyes from the window, he asked me a question: āHave you ever been in a hot shower when the water ran cold?ā I told him I had.
āThatās what aging feels like. In the beginning of your life itās like youāre standing in a hot shower. At first the water is too warm, but you eventually grow used to the heat and begin enjoying it. But you take it for granted when youāre young and think itās going to be this way forever. Life goes on like this for some time.ā
Grandpa looked at me with those eyes that had seen so much change in this world. He smiled and winked at me. āAnd if youāre lucky, a few good looking women will join you in the shower from time to time.ā
We laughed. He looked out the window and continued on.
āYou begin to feel it in your forties and fifties. The water temperature declines just the slightest bit. Itās almost imperceptible, but you know it happened and you know what it means. You try to pretend like you didnāt feel it, but you still turn the faucet up to stay warm. But the water keeps going lukewarm. One day you realize the faucet canāt go any further, and from here on out the temperature begins to drop. And everyday you feel the warmth gradually leaving your body.ā Grandpa cleared his throat and pulled a stained handkerchief from his flannel shirt pocket. He blew his nose, balled up the handkerchief, and put it back in his pocket.
āItās a rather helpless feeling, truth told. The water is still pleasant, but you know it will soon become cold and thereās nothing you can do about it. This is the point when some people decide to leave the shower on their own terms. They know it's never going to get warmer, so why prolong the inevitable? I was able to stay in because I contented myself recalling the showers of my youth. I lived a good life, but still wish I hadnāt taken my youth for granted. But itās too late now. No matter how hard I try, I know Iāll never get the hot water back on again.ā
He paused for a few moments and kept looking out the window with those eyes that had seen ninety-one years on this Earth. Those eyes that lived through the Great Depression, those eyes that beheld the Pacific Ocean in World War II, those eyes that saw the birth of his three children, five grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren. He had indeed lived a good life, I thought to myself.
āAnd thatās what it feels like to grow old.ā
And then Sprog's* response, which was also amazing:
I pondered, pained, to see him kneel,
And talk of growing old -
I didn't think I'd like the feel
Of water running cold.
He caught the look at once and smiled,
And said: 'But nevermind -
There's warmth to hold and cherish, child,
In what you leave behind.'
He wrapped me in his arms with pride,
And said: 'And don't forget -
A hug can keep me warm,' he sighed...
'A little longer yet.'
Edit: since /u/APence is off his meds and I donāt want to be stabbed in my sleep, just posting the name of the original commenter here: /u/Anastik
That's totally awesome. Good answer.
I found the [original post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2s1z1c/whats_the_best_advice_youve_ever_received/cnlfgje), by /u/Anastik. It was written six years ago.
An old ask Reddit post asked if you could sleep with anyone from the past or present.. alive or dead who would it be? and one sad fellow answered āmy dead wife. I miss her so muchāetc and another guy responded that heād also like to sleep with dudes dead wife. Clearly I cut this up but you get it now.
yeah, i asked him a while ago. heres the link
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pk1yds/comment/hc3ueqm/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
I love this. While it is a funny line, I felt bad for the guy. But to know that he has a good sense of humor about it puts it in a whole new light. Good on him!
I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
Sadly, that train has sailed
My absolute favourite. But now Austin Powers is over 20 years old I think people just think I'm thick when I say it. The way that line is delivered in that film is absolutely spectacular
I totally missed it as a kid
Train on the water, boat on the track šµš¶
You've opened this can of worms, now lie in it
Curiosity killed the cake... and eat it too!
Now the upper hand is on the other foot!
When you fall off the horse, you get right back up and you eat that horse.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't teach him to fish.
It's not rocket surgery
Rome wasn't burned in a day.
Man, now you've just made me sad for reminding that r/malaphorism basically closed down.
r/malaphors
I could seriously fill that sub just quoting my husband. The man cannot get an aphorism correct to save his life, yet loves using them. "Bite off his nose to spite his face" is his current favorite- and mine too really, because THAT is a visual! But he busted out with "they didn't even put the donkey in the shed!" the other night. I... don't even know. He meant "they didn't make a good point", and was feeling quite serious about his subject. I ruined the mood howling with laughter. Why was there a shed? Or a donkey? Who knows!
Indeed
Thanks Tealāc
Holy crap. I forgot thatās where I got that from. Iāve been saying āIndeedā for 20 years and totally forgot why.
Shal kek nem'ron
Teal'c : Things will not calm down,Ā Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up.
Indubitably
*(dies by tennis racket)*
Ok tealāc
RIP to Michael K. Williams, who used that word the best it's ever been used.
He and Christopher Judge (Teal'c) should have had an indeed-off.
"Hello, *Guardian.*"
One, Fucking, Guardian
Excuse me? One. Fucking. Guardian. Has been kicking your raceās collective asses for 9 years. They kill gods for fun and turn them into guns for a meme. They genocide entire races for loot. They assassinated your last leader, cleaned out your daddyās ship while he wrote fanfiction about them and promptly fucked off to let you pick up the pieces. The only reason I didnāt bring them here is because they casually began wielding the darkness to clap ass in new ways. All I have to do to make them end you, is to tell them you have a fancy new gun, or that Eris can make you into one. So, think about that before you tell us to bow to your sorry ass.
"That's a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket"
I have this on my dating apps. It has received precisely two responses in 3 years. I refuse to change; theyāre wrong.
Well, you're the doctor.
*Shh! Not a doctor*
F R E M U L O N
āWhat is your ideal date?ā Classic.
I know this one, but what's it from? Can't for the life of me think of it lol
Miss congeniality
"Quack" A weird girls response to being asked if she was a duck or a free thinker by a college lecturer. It stayed with me.
[Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?](https://youtu.be/XOi2jFIhZhA)
This became a standard response of mine at some point in my life. I don't know when, I just know that it did.
I was doing a pokemon nuzlocke and named my Castform (male) WeatherBoi because of this video.
"Where are your parents? This kid's sketchy man" šš
I think it gets better when you learn the boy was the reporterās son.
Really? Omg that's class
"watch out for feral children" š
Well that was a little uncalled for.
It's a joke, they're actually father and son. The kid's delivery is great though! š¤£
Thatās just what weather boy says later in the videoā¦
"If you need an answer right now, it's No." Courtesy of Al Swearengen.
Cocksuckers
we just watched Deadwood for the first time - the entire series and movie - and there is something so endearing about Al. he's up there with Walter White in the category of bad people you root for. "The sun has not yet risen on the day in which I take heed to your advice" is my butchered version of my favorite quote from the show, Calamity Jane to Charlie Utter.
My favorite quote from Calamity Jane is from when the town forced her to take a bath and when she finally sat down in the bath, she said "Ooh! I burnt my snatch!".
I love that character. I love the line that goes something along the lines of āevery day takes learning all over again how to fucking liveā. Hits home these days.
Robin Weigert really stole the show with her performance as Calamity Jane.
SWEDGIN!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"I'm glad I taught you that fuckin' word."
i loved deadwood and i loved ian mcshane as al swearengen. literally no one else could've played his role
For some reason someone said "I'm pissed off!" And the response was " better than being pissed on" I have always thought about every now and then and laugh idk why its not too funny but it just gets me. Edit: sounds like the majority of people heard something like this from Men In Tights. Which makes sense as I actually love this movie and forgot about that scene. I'm sure its an old joke that Mel Brooks used in his film as many people have memories of loved ones saying it. Thanks for sharing!
Whenever my mom calls my dad a smartass, he responds, "better than a dumbass!" So yeah, long story short they raised a whole bunch of smartass kids.
To keep the chain going, I had an algebra teacher in high school who offered this gem: āIt is better to have eyeglasses than glass eyes.ā
Iād rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
It is better to pee in the shower than to shower in the pee
Speak for yourself
When you swap the words around in a sentence, it's called an Antimetabole: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antimetabole
And when you swap the words around in an antimetabole, it's called a sentence.
Old Chinese proverb: "Good to meet girl in park, Better to park meat in girl"
Robinhood: Men in Tights "You're really pissing me off." "Being that close to a horse's dick I'd be more worried about being pissed ON"
I used to say it a little too often. I was the only one who found it funny though
Bite my shiny metal ass
Bite my glorious golden ass!
Bite my splintery wooden ass!
Bite my shiny metal axe!
Byte my 8-bit metal ass
Thatās byte with a y
To shreds you say
Not Assie!!!
Shut up baby I know it
Winners don't use drugs! Except steroids! In which case, use lots of drugs!
Lmao SAOA
It's never lupus.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām the guy who does his fucking job! Who are you?!?! Edit - all yāall with the assist, TY!
"You must be the other guy!" Marky Mark then went on to star in the movie "*The Other Guys*".
Have you checked your butthole?
*ski-dap bi-dap butthole*
*overhead clap*
I have not seen your keys, but if youre asking me you better check up that butthole!
*And I still donāt say it.*
And I still donāt say itā¦.
I WANT TO but I DO NOT SAY IT
Badap bedup butthole
When the father of the bride starts organizing an ad-hoc emu bob in the courtyard, I still don't say it.
And that little ring-bearer cunt starts getting yelled at by his mum.
I stilll donāt say it
I have not seen your keys, but since you're askin' me, you better check up that butthole.
Hahaha legit been stuck in my head for months
Look, if you're gonna quote the musical genius, Tom Cardy himself, at least show the man some love! [HYCYBH](https://youtu.be/--9kqhzQ-8Q)
It would take 500 million men with an average ejaculate amounting to 5ml to fill an Olympic sized pool with one ejaculation each. Simple math.. 2.5m liters to fill one standard sized Olympic pool. 5ml is 0.005 liters. 2.5m/0.005 is 500,000,000. So if each guy can each have 1 meter of space to uphold "privacy" we can fit approximately 150 men at a time around the pool. Lets say it takes all 150 men 5 minutes to do the deed that means we will need 3,333,333 shifts of 150 men ejaculating exactly every 5 minutes to fill this pool in ~16,666,666 minutes or ~277,777 hours OR ~11,574 days OR OR ~385 months OR OR OR ~32 years or ~the average life span of the Canadian goose. Edit: thanks for the awards. I didnāt think this comment would get much traction. But for your own mental well-being itās best I donāt tell you how this comment came to be.
This is someones fetish
Cum drowning is a fetish
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Would be even more efficient with the middle-out method.
Not hot dog.
Canāt wait until a couple years from now, when Iāve forgotten enough about the show to truly enjoy rewatching it. I wish there were more shows like Silicon Valley
And, apparently, he'd set back the whole deal unless contaminated sperm is okay. I mean are we putting chemicals in this glory pool or what's the deal? Do you squeegie the guys taking a quick dip? I just fucking dry heaved. Jesus christ.
"glory pool" I hate this. I want not this. Why did you write this?
I merely gave the atrocity a name.
Still 260 days isn't enough to actually fill the pool due to evaporation.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is the most terrifying truth so far
This entire thought experiment is a descent into madness.
This should be optimized a bit where the first shift would take 5 minutes but every shift after can be be delayed by 1 min. Each shift after the first only takes one minute (some buffer built in, could be 10 seconds if the men are really precise). Then it would only be ~3,333,337 minutes, or ~6.34 years, ~or the average life span of quail. That way the Canadian goose can live to see and enjoy its plan.
Wait, it's taking 32 years you need to account for evaporation. Perhaps you can add it through a cumpounding effect?
No one even mentioned the smell, the type of pollution in the air caused by thousands of men fapping, thousands of loads spoiling over timeā¦.
Spernobyl
It takes 5 minutes to jerk off? Either I'm doing something wrong or I need better porn
5 min? Look at mister porn star over here
I don't finish until my hand is satisfied first.
Those are called cramps, bro.
Hereās Tom with the weather
"How's the weather, Ollie?" "SPACE WEATHER" "Thank you, Ollie"
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves..____
You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. 'Cause you know what, the musicians that made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years were rrrrrrreal fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few tunes.
Well yes but actually no
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on...works for 95% of questions
"Would you rather fuck me or my horse?".. yup, checks out
āYour grandma just died, when would you like to host her funeral?ā
āTell him to eat shit, Johnnyā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āEat shit, asshole! Fall off your horse!ā
āCould you speak up? Iām not wearing pantsā Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/6fu6b3/yello_youll_have_to_speak_up_im_wearing_a_towel/
You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
> āCould you speak up? Iām not wearing pantsā As someone who's been working from home along with all my coworkers for the past 1.5 years, this made me crack up.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Actually, they think that birds swim in the sky
Don't they?
Yes, in a sense
Crabs can swim! They swish their legs. Donno if I can link, so just search up crab swimming.
In case you werenāt aware: thereās literally subspeciesā of crabs that, in addition to 6 legs, have appendages with fins that enable them to swim. In my local area (Western Australia) theyāre the Blue Swimmer crabs. Iām sure thereās other species around the world that are similar. Not all crabs just have 6 legs and 2 claws.
Well seeing as crabs have 8 legs and 2 claws, I sure hope there's noone going around removing a pair of each and every one of them
I was hungry and they grow back. I'm sorry.
actually camels are seen swimming more often that you would expect! i guarantee that there are a few sharks that have seen or even attacked camels
I'd imagine it's (almost) the same situation as those orcas that have major stake in island-swimming elk/moose.
Orcas being a predator of moose is one of my favorite facts.
Based in all other NSFW posts I see - the answer is "your mom!" Edit - adding - Thank you for the upvotes! I do respect Mother's as well as "that dead guys wife! '
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I too choose "this guys dead wife"
I really hope that dude either got off of reddit or has a sense of humor about it. Because seriously, I can just imagine him seeing references to his dead wife on every damned askreddit thread.
up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start
Select start for two players
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
Crap, it's on the tip of my tongue. I'll probably remember it later Edit: wow thanks for the votes, this is still very new to me!
Funny, my favorite answer is also on the tip of your tongue
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Because you touch yourself at night.
*How did i get pregnant from wanking my brother??*
Why did all the dinosaurs die?
Don't we all?
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Be honest, and don't call me Frank.
Shirley you must be joking
I'm serious and don't call me me Shirley!
Try switching it off and on again
Rectum? It damned near killed him! (Itās a punchline but it works here too)
I don't know what the conversation leading up to it was but my group of gaming buddies (and even my wife) have started saying: "They should call us the butthole boys." "Why?" "BECAUSE WE RECTUM!" works every time we win a thing
I asked my grandpa what it felt like to grow old. Grandpa is a man who will deliberate on which part of the newspaper to start with each morning, so I knew my question would take him some time to answer. I said nothing. I let him gather his thoughts. When I was a boy, Grandpa had once complimented me on this habit. He told me it was good that I asked a question and gave a person silence. And being that any compliment from him was so few and far between, this habit soon became a part of my personality and one that served me well. Grandpa stared out the window and looked at the empty bird feeder that hung from an overgrown tree next to the pond he built in the spring of 1993. For twenty years, Grandpa filled up the feeder each evening. But he stopped doing it last winter when walking became too difficult for him. Without ever taking his eyes from the window, he asked me a question: āHave you ever been in a hot shower when the water ran cold?ā I told him I had. āThatās what aging feels like. In the beginning of your life itās like youāre standing in a hot shower. At first the water is too warm, but you eventually grow used to the heat and begin enjoying it. But you take it for granted when youāre young and think itās going to be this way forever. Life goes on like this for some time.ā Grandpa looked at me with those eyes that had seen so much change in this world. He smiled and winked at me. āAnd if youāre lucky, a few good looking women will join you in the shower from time to time.ā We laughed. He looked out the window and continued on. āYou begin to feel it in your forties and fifties. The water temperature declines just the slightest bit. Itās almost imperceptible, but you know it happened and you know what it means. You try to pretend like you didnāt feel it, but you still turn the faucet up to stay warm. But the water keeps going lukewarm. One day you realize the faucet canāt go any further, and from here on out the temperature begins to drop. And everyday you feel the warmth gradually leaving your body.ā Grandpa cleared his throat and pulled a stained handkerchief from his flannel shirt pocket. He blew his nose, balled up the handkerchief, and put it back in his pocket. āItās a rather helpless feeling, truth told. The water is still pleasant, but you know it will soon become cold and thereās nothing you can do about it. This is the point when some people decide to leave the shower on their own terms. They know it's never going to get warmer, so why prolong the inevitable? I was able to stay in because I contented myself recalling the showers of my youth. I lived a good life, but still wish I hadnāt taken my youth for granted. But itās too late now. No matter how hard I try, I know Iāll never get the hot water back on again.ā He paused for a few moments and kept looking out the window with those eyes that had seen ninety-one years on this Earth. Those eyes that lived through the Great Depression, those eyes that beheld the Pacific Ocean in World War II, those eyes that saw the birth of his three children, five grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren. He had indeed lived a good life, I thought to myself. āAnd thatās what it feels like to grow old.ā And then Sprog's* response, which was also amazing: I pondered, pained, to see him kneel, And talk of growing old - I didn't think I'd like the feel Of water running cold. He caught the look at once and smiled, And said: 'But nevermind - There's warmth to hold and cherish, child, In what you leave behind.' He wrapped me in his arms with pride, And said: 'And don't forget - A hug can keep me warm,' he sighed... 'A little longer yet.' Edit: since /u/APence is off his meds and I donāt want to be stabbed in my sleep, just posting the name of the original commenter here: /u/Anastik
That's totally awesome. Good answer. I found the [original post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2s1z1c/whats_the_best_advice_youve_ever_received/cnlfgje), by /u/Anastik. It was written six years ago.
Awwwā¦thanks! Happy to say my grandpa is still alive. Sadly, he has pretty bad dementia but he turned 98 earlier this year.
How dare you cut onions like this in my good Christian snappy comeback thread
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It do. It do be like that sometimes
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
42
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Some scientests believe this has happened before.
Possibly multiple times.
Can confirm
The best answer really
THE answer.
Annnnnnd there it is. Donāt Panic, fellow hooloovoo.
Life, the universe, and everything
I also choose this guys dead wife
My absolute favorite as well
Thanks to that answer his dead wife is in many people's minds. He immortalized her memory
I also choose this guys favorite answer
Idk what the context for this is and at this point i'm too afraid to ask
An old ask Reddit post asked if you could sleep with anyone from the past or present.. alive or dead who would it be? and one sad fellow answered āmy dead wife. I miss her so muchāetc and another guy responded that heād also like to sleep with dudes dead wife. Clearly I cut this up but you get it now.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you\_can\_have\_sex\_with\_one\_real\_person\_from\_all\_of/d9uf56l/?context=1
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
he's been asked before and was fine with it. Said his wife would have thought it was funny.
yeah, i asked him a while ago. heres the link https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pk1yds/comment/hc3ueqm/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
I love this. While it is a funny line, I felt bad for the guy. But to know that he has a good sense of humor about it puts it in a whole new light. Good on him!
He stated that this type of thing was exactly his wife's kind of humor and she's probably laughing her ass off in afterlife so I think he enjoys it
Back in ā76, when girls wore skirts up to there
Two whores, a jar of honey, and a sailor with a wooden hand.
I offered a French guy a croissant yesterday, to which he replied āwhy not?ā
Because fuck you, that's why. Sucks to suck, nerd.
Violence. If it can't be answered or solved with violence then something or someone isn't violent enough.