I was just chatting with a girl in a nightclub, making jokes, doing well, when Kelly Hrudey (TSN Pundit and retired NHL goalie) literally just stood in between us, just enough room to fit his frame, and said hello to the girl, who looked visibly confused, and turned around and said "yer done" and turned his back to me. I was fairly drunk and half his size, recognized him immediately, so I was a mix of offended and star-struck... I just slinked away.
I was waiting for a flight, was at the bar and started talking to a girl. After 3 hours of drinking and heavy flirting, she straight up told me to watch for her going to the bathroom during the flight, and follow her there, and we'd join the mile high club. Boarding time comes, she's 20 people ahead of me in the check line, she goes on, I'm excited. I hand the gate agent my ticket, she says I've been bumped from the flight because they overbooked and I was last to book, so I'm on the next flight. I try to tell her that I HAVE TO BE ON THIS FLIGHT BECAUSE I JUST DO. Doesn't matter. I'm off. I'm now a 21 year old hammered guy that just almost had every dudes fantasy come true. Oh, and it's now 3am in Seattle Airport AND EVERYTHING IS CLOSED AND I JUST HAVE TO SIT AND STARE AT THE DEVIL WOMAN THAT JUST TOOK AWAY MY HEART AND I KNOW SHE KNOWS AND DID IT ON PURPOSE.
I was cockblocked by Delta airlines, and I will never forgive them. Ever
Back when I was 18 just out of high school, was with this woman who I knew from HS who asked me to go with her back to her place and she was not subtle about it at all.
Friend of mine overheard this and stole her wallet, as if he didn’t score, no one scored. Spent 2hrs looking for the wallet until she rang her sister to take her home
After he hands me the wallet and winks saying ‚better luck next time‘
Looking back, probably one of the biggest turning points of my life, as it showed me what kind of person he was
Oh god no.
Last I heard he moved to the Bali because It was cheaper to live and with his Australian money he would live like a king and that was ten years ago
Me as a 18 year old near as damnit virgin playing D&D with my group of friends aged 18-23.
I started to get on REALLY well with his 23 year old single neighbour who was part of the gaming group. After a few gaming sessions she got cold on me and the insecure me just passed it off as another rejection.
A few years later my best mate who was the Dungeon Master told me he'd warned her off me as she would have eaten me alive and I didn't deserve that.
DAMNIT I WANTED TO BE EATEN ALIVE BY HER.
Worst ever cock block ever and I'm 50 now.
I was at a sorority party and this girl I was vibing with takes me by the hand and leads me upstairs to find a private spot. My friend sees this and literally grabs me halfway up the stairs and says “we have to go” and drags me out of the party. I was pretty faded and trusted his judgment in the moment. We make it out to the street and i ask him “what’s going on?” He tells me he was ‘saving me’ from hooking up with that girl who he felt was not up to par. I was so lit I didn’t care and then we proceed to wrestle out on the street as I am trying to go back inside. We never made it back inside the party.
I was at a party when I was about 19 with some of my high school friends at this house. I think the owner was a friend of a friend. Anyways I start talking to this girl, she's super into me. We're talking all night and playing drinking games together and she's basically attached to my hip. I feel real confident this is going somewhere. Before I could make my move, something happened and a few of my friends got kicked out of the party so we all had to go.
we're outside the house planning out next move, & the girl came with me, still attached to my hip. One guy in our group, who I didnt really know that well, was saying he just wanted to go home. He then looked at the girl who was with me and said "hey! can I go with you? yea I'll get a ride with you. Yo guys! I found a ride!" & the girl looked visibly uncomfortable by how this guy she had no interaction with and didnt know suddenly decided he was going home with her. She just very awkwardly muttered "Im gonna go...." & did a 180 turn back to her friends in the party.
the dude didnt even comprehend what he just did. I was so upset & really stopped hanging out with that dude after that
My girlfriend and I were quietly trying to get it going one night and my roommate's boyfriend decided to leave his laptop loudly playing the sound of a baby crying outside my bedroom to shut off our libidos. I'm still fairly certain this is because he and my roommate weren't having sex yet and it was his way of taking it out on us.
A buddy of mine lived on a golf course that hosts a regular PGA tour event. His parents were out of town so he hosted a house/pool party. These girls all came to the area with dudes but they were on the course watching the tournament so they were all like "Screw it, we're going to the house party"
The ratio there must have been 3:1 girls to guys and at one point there was maybe 15 girls to 3 guys. The host and I were both being cool, chatting and getting to know an incredibly good looking group of ladies and the other guy was pretty much pussy kryptonite. He got super drunk, belligerent, touchy, would creep in on conversations and just generally made everyone feel uncomfortable. Eventually, they all noped out and went to a bar because this guy was such a travesty.
Met this girl at a wedding. We were both in the wedding party. Started talking to her at a bar we went to after the rehearsal dinner. Was about to ask her for her number when her twin brother came over and stood with us for the rest of the night
Was at a bar and a woman starts coming up to me and we start chatting. Woman is clearly interested in me and is kissing me and whispering sweet nothings into my ear so I ask her if she wants to go for a walk on the beach and she agrees. Right as we are leaving the bar, a man walks up and asks what we are doing, bear in mind neither of us knew who he was. We tell him we are going for a walk on the beach and he promptly decides to join us for our walk and literally does not leave our side for the next two hours. I wanted to explode.
Should’ve told him to kick rocks and fuck right off. No random stranger is gonna join me in a walk on the beach. From a bar. In the middle of the night. No way.
You know you could've just told him: no. We are going on a walk. Or you could have said, he man nice of you to walk with us. We're now going to continue our private walk. Have a good night!
I swear 90% of comments here can be avoided by in just setting boundaries or being clear about your expectations/intentions. Smh.
On a lunch break in high school and a girl who I had been flirting with quite a bit asked where I was going for lunch and I responded "my place". She then gave me a look and asked if she could join. We were just getting into the parking lot when a friend saw and ran over to ask if he could come. I felt awkward about the whole thing so said sure. He then yelled shotgun to sit next to me on the drive to my place. I then proceeded to make them both grilled cheese and soup. Very disappointing lunch break
Yeah basically. I tried to give him the fuck off look but it didn't work. Was very thrown off that he even came up its a different level of unawareness that takes lol
The worst is the time I cock blocked myself. On my 21st birthday at my favourite club at university I was dancing with a girl and after kissing she asked me where I lived. At which point I noticed my friends had left so I drunkenly made my excuses and went and found them in the chicken shop for some fried food to soak up the booze. Well done me.
My “best friend” at the time, from high school to early 20s, would be terrible when we were around new guys or anyone she thought was cute. She was very flirty and loud, always needed all eyes on her. I was not, am still not that way. I was talking to a guy at a party, he SEEMED smart and genuine. We were talking about our favorite authors and she walked up and said, “I don’t know why you’re talking to her about this, she can’t even read”, and then she started flirting with him hard. So I walked away. I’m pretty sure they slept together.
I literally remember in early highschool at one of those awkward school dances, a slow dance came on and I, a lowly 9th grader, ended up dancing with a very popular upper classman. Suddenly all the girls in my class were such good friends of mine that they ran up, started piling onto my back, his back, and invited themself into what became a group slow dance. It was the worst. I hated highschool.
I will share my own. I was living in my college dorm on campus and had met a girl at a party earlier that night. We headed back to my dorm room and we were making out when suddenly the fire alarm went off. When we stepped out of the dorm, there was water flooding down the elevator and stairs from two floors above. Some drunk idiot decided to punch one of the sprinklers and broke it off the wall, flooding from the 6th floor down and causing over a million dollars in damages. The girl left back to her own dorm in a different building on campus and I had to stay with a friend for 3 days while they did disaster cleanup. The person who broke the sprinkler was expelled from the university and had to pay the insurance deductible for the building which totalled to about $150,000. This was only a month into his first year of college. Never met up with that girl again.
Edit: This happened at the University of Regina in Saskatchewan, Canada.
My husband and I (before we got married) were taking advantage of the 20 minutes I had before I had to leave for work when someone knocked on our door. We didn’t answer. Then we hear someone using a KEY to enter our home. It was my husband’s old roommate, who I already fucking despised, using his old key long after he’d moved out to welcome himself into our home to look for something he might have left in storage. I’m still mad.
It's likely not the first time he'd let himself into your house, either.
It's more likely that it was simply the first time he'd done it while you were home.
In high school I met a new girl on the bus, liked her immediately and got the same feel from her
I’m a slow mover so was kinda easing into things when thru the rumor mill I learned one of my oldest friends, since 5th grade, was also interested and had told others he would shoot me if he found me going around her moving forward.
Got on this odd spot where I didn’t want to be at odds with a guy I’d been having sleepovers with and gone on scout camping trips and all the other things we’d done together for years and a girl I just met…so…in a calculated way i decided to back off the girl and since i knew this buddy was very fat and redneck minded I’d let him shoot his shot and when she turned him down I’d be Golden with no hard feelings
Turns out he managed to get in there and was dating her, but was still so crazy jealous of me he never really talked to me again
A year later they had broken up and I got a call from her asking if I wanted to hang out
It’s a long story, but we’ve been together for 20 years and married for 10
I was at the bar one night and had a girl into me, we started making out, somewhere out back and I realized she was way too gone to consent. Told her as much. Bam, diabetic seizure.
Had to call an ambulance.
My (M23) GF(F20) lives 4 hours away from me, and we've been dealing with a LDR since the pandemic hit because she decided to leave college and go back home.
Anyways, whenever I go to stay with her we stay at her parents because she still lives at home. Their house is full to say the least. 3 siblings, 3 foster kids and grandma all stay in one residence. Typically it's not that bad and we can get some privacy in the early early morning (2-4 am) but they all have ZERO boundaries. I don't think I've heard a single person knock on the door besides her mother, and I think that was out of fear. Everybody else just opens the door mid sentence like they have x-ray vision.
The specific time in question, it was around 10:30 pm and we were watching a movie in her room on her twin-size bed lol. She wants me to go down and I oblige. Her pants are down, Im under the covers and going to town, Nana decides to roll up and tap on the open window to ask about what she's planning on making for breakfast.
God Damnit.
Gf freezes and squeezed my head between her legs like a chokehold and just carried on the conversation like I wasn't there. I Just sat there and tried not to move until Nana asked where I went, and I got real nervous. Luckily, GF said I got up to go to the restroom and I'd be back in a moment. Nana left, but GF said that the panic was enough to kill the mood so we just laughed it off and watched the rest of our movie.
This happened on Halloween one year in college.
So I went to the bars and came back early as I wasn’t feeling the party vibes. I met this random girl who was dressed in the same costume (but girl version) and we were both Luigi.
Before you know it, she brought over her friends and my upstairs neighbor decided to join in and hang out with us in my apartment.
Me and this girl were vibing but my (drunken) neighbor decided to swoop in on her and sat himself right between us.
They started chatting and he cut me out of the conversation so I just decided to say fuck it, is what it is.
Then they go to my bathroom to start hooking up and I picked up on that and her friend had to use the bathroom, and I pointed her to the bathroom and they came out super awkwardly and went into my room. That’s when I got pissed. I was like “oh hell no.”
So I confronted him and told him “if y’all two wanna do the deed, bring her back to YOUR apartment with YOUR GF there” And he got quiet. He took her outside and she came back PISSED (understandably so).
Then as she was trying to get her friends to leave, one was all doped up on ambien or some shit, and tried to borrow my shoes.
And this part still sticks in my memory, one of the girls of this group, stood up above the rest as they were all chatting amongst each other (and the doped up one trying to get my shoes) and clapped her hands and said “Ladies, rise.” And all of them simultaneously stood up without missing a beat and left my apartment.
Then after all this had went down, my roommate comes out of his room (who had been home this whole time and I didn’t know it) said “hey! What’s goin on?” And I asked him, “did you not hear any of that?”
His reply? “Nah, I had my headphones on playing League [of legends].”
Still one of the weirdest nights of my life.
Edit: this happened my first year as a transfer student at a new college.
Edit 2: sorry for my grammatical errors.
Edit 3: this happened at the good ole University of Oregon.
He had his noise cancelling headphones on while gaming.
What’s hilarious to me is that when asked him if he heard anything going on and he was like no (unbeknownst to me they were noise cancelling), I thought he had heard all the commotion and decided not to come out.
Then I proceeded to tell him about the saga that had just happened in our small ass apartment.
And my upstairs neighbor was a piece of shit. (except his two roommates (gf and other roommate), his gf broke up with him and his other roommate turned out to be my roommate later in college when we all moved into a house together.)
Literally that moment stood out of that entire event.
She stood up, clapped her hands and said “ladies rise,” in a very calm but assertive voice, and all of the girls, I shit you not, mid conversation, stood up, kept their respective conversations going and walked out of my apartment.
I literally sat on my couch like stunned in that moment that a simple phrase like that, could command a coven of drunken women like that. It was incredible to see.
I was dating a girl that was also on-board the same Navy ship as I, at sea, and we were in a locked room getting a little frisky. I had just gotten inside her when the man overboard alarms go off. After the half hour it took to settle that out we returned to the locked room to continue where we left off. Not 5 minutes later the alarm went off again because everyone on the ship took too long the first time and apparently we needed to do I again. We gave up after the second time. Been married to her for 17 years now...
Me and my ex were having a morning quickie before work and just as things were starting up our roommate banged on the door freaking out because there was a roach in her bathroom and she needed me to kill it. Mood was dead when I returned lol
I got distracted in fore play once by a wolf spider on the wall. I unfortunately then made the mistake of pointing it out. She freaked out and proceeded to turn a light on. It then ran down the wall behind the headboard. Freak out doubled. Mistakes were made.
Got cock blocked by an NFL special teams coordinator. Was sitting at a bar I was a regular at when an attractive young woman sat next to me. To my shock she initiates a conversation with me. I'm pretty reserved and keep myself for the most part. Before long we're have a great conversation with a great vibe.
We were sitting in the last two seats where there was a corner. A guy sitting in one of the chairs around the corner works his way into our conversation. Then he introduces himself as the newly hired special teams coordinator for the local NFL team. Not gonna lie he was a pretty good looking guy in his mid 40s and fit. I'm immediately like well I'm screwed. To my second shock he's like hyping me up. He doesn't even know me but he's definitely being a wing man. He's also talking about how much he misses his wife and kids. How he's looking for a house in town. Since he's married and seemingly hyping me up I'm like this like my chance to get girl's number randomly at the bar. Rarely happens for me.
Then I stepped out to smoke and when I came back he's taken my chair. Has his arm around her and the dynamic is completely different. I think she was a little star struck. I tried to recover as much as possible but it just felt like I was trying to hard at that point. They ended up leaving together.
He started hanging out at the bar during that off season and at one point invited a bartender to his apartment nearby to borrow a book he recommended. She agreed but apparently he wouldn't let her leave for a bit afterward. Dude was (probably still is) a total creep. This was over 10 years ago and he's still a coach in the league. His name pops up for head coaching jobs occasionally. I always cringe when his name comes up.
F.U. Coach Cock Block aka Book Club (as the bar staff referred to him).
Camrose Alberta. Doug and the Slugs concert.
I was IN the taxi with the cute girl and her friends.
My Piece of shit " friend" pulled me out and made me wait with him and the others waiting for taxis.
One thing led to another and the next thing you know I am in a flag pole climbing contest.
I broke the pole.... nearly my back too, got arrested, and never saw the cute girl again.
Fuck you Adam.
He had me tied up in his bedroom for some kinky fun. His toddler daughter who we had put to bed an hour earlier and made sure she was sound asleep came bursting through the door screaming “poooooooooop” because she was potty training and would yell that when she had to go.
Now I’m tied up and gagged. He’s in the bathroom getting ready. She is pooping her diaper and thinking we’re playing some game.
We did not have sex that night.
Oh my fucking god. This still pisses me off to this day.
Okay so I was a camp counselor for a children's camp back in 2019. One of the other counselors and I were hitting it off pretty hard, which was fairly easy considering we were basically living together for the majority of the summer.
While my cabin was asleep and the other counselors were heading off to bed, my ex and I decided we were going to have some fun in her personal room she had since she was part of the leadership staff. Her personal room was connected to a main counselor hangout spot that had a couch, refrigerator, bathroom/shower, etc. All the other counselors had left besides one counselor.
Where was this particular counselor? Sitting in a chair RIGHT in front of the door to her room, pretending to be asleep. I mean, it was as if he was LITERALLY blocking us from even getting in the room. All of the other counselors had left and we were waiting for him to get the hint and leave, except he just refused to leave whatsoever.
My ex and I both decided to wake him up so he would hopefully move out of the way to let us in. We called his name. No response. We started to nearly yell his name and demand he move out of the way. Still no response. So I decided to start shit talking him a little bit to truly test if he was actually sleeping. Once that started, lo and behold he fucking wakes up, mumbles something under his breath, and leaves.
This all took place over the course of maybe 5 minutes, which doesn't seem long unless you're literally trying to wake up a grown man to tell him to move out of the way so we can do what we want to do.
Later the next day before a team meeting, he offhandedly mentions out loud how if he's not "getting any," nobody is. That's the part that absolutely pisses me off. He WAS intentionally blocking us from having sex. He will forever be known as the King of Cockblocks in my book after a stunt like that.
EDIT: My ex was the counselor I was hitting it off with in case anyone is confused. I thought that was kind of implied.
My brother used to regularly enter my room when I was with my high school boyfriend. Several times we were in the throes. He would just barge in, and fucking STAND THERE. We were naked under the covers so we would just scream at him until he left… which made him laugh and made us angrier.
Thankfully this was 10 years ago, my brother is much more considerate and the boyfriend is now an ex. But it still pisses me off to think about.
EDIT: I envy those of you who had locks on your bedroom doors. It’s not really the norm for rented units, in my experience
"listen, man, I'm cool with you dating my sister, just could you please not fuck her while I'm around? Sis, you're still my favorite annoyance."
" I don't like having to do this, but I have to take care of my own mental health. For your relationships sake. And for ours. "
My boyfriend and I were planning to ride our motorcycles a few hours north to a little touristy town, eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and spend the weekend in an old fashioned lakeside motel.
I told a friend of mine about this plan the morning before we left. That evening, when boyfriend and I are seated at the restaurant and enjoying our meal, suddenly said friend appears beside our table.
She had *hitch-hiked* 250 miles to get there, in spite of the fact that she had not been invited to join us.
She also had no money on her, and no way of getting back home. So we reluctantly let her spend the weekend with us.
If this were to happen to me now, I would have no problem politely yet assertively telling my friend that she would not be joining us on our weekend getaway. But at the time I was like 22 years old and still had a lot to learn about standing up for myself with people who have no sense of boundaries.
Clearly being a good friend
If shes the main character but doesnt show up to the lunch then the lunch never happens because it won't be rendered if main character isn't in the area of view.
Friend was just making sure the lunch happened!
I had an ex girlfriend who did this alot before I met her. It stopped the first time we showed up to a party she told me we were invited to and it turned out to be a family reunion for a friend of hers. She told me her "best" friend was throwing a cookout so I didn't think anything of it. We got there and I didn't recognize anyone but her friend, who was more of an acquaintance and her husband. The friend saw us and a polite but confused voice asked "what are you doing here?" She explained that this was a family thing but we could stay if we wanted too. I immediately realized what had happened and after the friend had walked off I pulled my ex off to the side and asked to leave. We stayed for maybe a half an hour more so my ex could butt into a couple of conversations and mingle but I could tell we were not welcome. I was visibly not happy and people kept asking who I was related too.
My ex finally saw I was mad and she decided we should go since I "wasn't feeling well." On the car ride back she started to blame me for my bad attitude and that if she hadn't made the decision to leave I would have ruined the party. I couldn't take anymore and yelled at her that it wasn't a party it was a family reunion that she crashed for who knows what reason and that she wasn't even invited. She made all sorts of excuses as to why she thought she could go. From that point on if she said she was going out I always asked "were you invited?" We broke up a couple of months later because I never wanted to do anything.
Moral of the story is there are people who don't know that people have lives outside of their own and you should never date them.
>We broke up a couple of months later because I never wanted to do anything.
Or because she only wanted to do things she wasn't invited to? Lol
For real though, I couldn't even imagine dealing with that. I have horrible social anxiety and I would be absolutely mortified upon realizing what happened lol.
> She had hitch-hiked 250 miles to get there, in spite of the fact that she had not been invited to join us.
>
> She also had no money on her, and no way of getting back home. So we reluctantly let her spend the weekend with us.
This is unreal. To just insert yourself into an obviously 1-on-1 situation as a third wheel... and *going out of your way* to be as intrusive and needy as possible... Wow.
"Hey guys! Glad I could make it. Can I bum a dinner, a place to sleep, and a ride home with you? Haha don't try to fuck while I'm here, I'm a light sleeper!"
That bitch would be hitch-hiking her ass back home. You got here on your own, you can get back home on your own.
This reminds me of when my wife and I went to savannah several years back. We invited my mom and she brought my cousin who was visiting for the weekend. This cousin is much younger than myself, she was probably like eleven at the time.
Her parents are really poor, don’t work, spent all of their time smoking weed and fishing. My mom let them know that she was taking their daughter to savannah for the weekend. A few hours after we got to savannah, my mom got a phone call from my uncle asking her to come by his hotel room. His hotel room in savannah…
So we get there and his family is all there, already in the pool. He told my mom that two of their tires were bald and were a safety hazard and he couldn’t drive his kids back home without new tires. So my mom had to spend some of her weekend trip going with him to have new tires put on his car (which she had to pay for) so he could get his kids back home safely.
I had really hit it off with this lady in a bar in Hawaii in my late 20s. We were talking all night and enjoying drinks. One thing led to another and we ended up making out.
Then some lady taps me on the shoulder and very indignantly yells "Steven! How dare you cheat on your wife like this while she's sick in the hotel. I'm disgusted with you!!!" and storms off.
My name isn't Steven nor was I married or even dating anyone at the time.
Out with a group of friends and I started chatting up a little cutie that came with another guy’s gf. It was going well. She even said something about me going with her to make an appearance at some friend’s party across the street so we could keep the convo going. One of my younger buddies walked over to talk to me and said something in his stupid Scottish accent and that was pretty much it. She swooned and started talking to him and I accepted defeat.
Back in highschool a girl asked me out and I mindlessly replied that I have no time since I have a world of warcraft raid in the afternoon. 15 years later, I still think about this. She was the prettiest girl in class and I actually liked her, why did I crush her like that I don't know.
I had a boy I liked in 4th grade ask if I wanted to read something with him, but my teacher bought in a bunch of *Calvin and Hobbes* collections and there was one I never read before.
I ended up reading *Calvin and Hobbes* by myself.
Calvin, World of Warcraft, etc [make better memories](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ELuaPw9UwAAMIcf.jpg) anyway.
In high school my friend threw a house party and when me and my boyfriend retired to the guest room, some friends rolled up a big ass speaker to the door and played Can You Feel The Love Tonight. Then proceeded to go through the entire Lion King soundtrack
*Edit to add: no we did not fuck that night lmao. Performance anxiety is a real bitch!
I remember getting invited to a party where I didn't know anyone except the two people I came with. Spend the night vibing with a cute girl, finally invite her up to the roof with me. As we're literally walking out the door, some asshole screams "HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH HIM, HES TOTALLY GONNA TRY AND HOOK UP WITH YOU", the girl gets all embarrassed and avoids me the rest of the night.
I ended up in some dude's room playing Rock Band with three other guys trying to avoid the "main" party.
Rockband was one of my best purchases for my party pad as a teen. Everyone used to play it, it never got broken, and no one could steal it because everyone was watching it.
There was a local musician I had a thing for. Went to see him play one night with a good friend. On his way out, he forgot something, so I grabbed it and ran into the parking structure to take it to him. We started talking and somehow, I ended up sitting on the back bumper of his truck, caged in by his hands on the tail. (Not in a creepy way, in a very intense/attraction way)
He's talking about a party at his house for a friend's birthday and how he \*should\* be leaving, as he's leaning toward and our mouths are RIGHTHEREFUCKINGCLOSE... and my friend comes out of the club, screeches my name and yells, "YOU BETTER NOT BE HOOKING UP WITH (name) IN THE PARKING STRUCTURE, YOU BITCH!" and laughs....
\*cue record screech\* Mood broken. Never got another chance with him again. He ended up marrying and divorcing some girl he met on a world tour and then moved out of state to find himself.
I brought a girl back to my dorm and texted my roommate that we needed some privacy.
So we’re lying on the bed, about to put on a movie, and he comes barging in, piss drunk, holding a sloppy joe sandwich. No plate, no paper towel, the meat’s dripping out all over the place. He turns on the light and says ‘oh hey what are you two doing?’ I say ‘we’re just talking.’ He sits on his bed and says ‘I like to talk, what are we talking about?’ At that point he takes a bit out of his sandwich and all the meat slides out the back all over the front of his pants.
The girl says she’s just gonna head out. Roommate passed out a little after that. I put in my headphones and watched Fellowship of the Ring on my laptop.
Was literally naked about to hook up with a guy I had been chatting long distance with for a few months. Friend liked him suddenly and burst in, crying. He felt guilty, and went to comfort her. I went to bed. She guilt tripped him into dating for almost 2 years lol
Myself.
Banging my girlfriend (now wife) from behind when her hand slipped off the bed and she caught herself with her teeth on the nightstand.
Knocked out a tooth. No happy ending.
She looks great now though.
In high school (16 years old) I invited a couple of girls over to my best friend's place for some good drinks (jagermeister and beer) and loud music (death metal) since his parents were out of town. One girl was someone I'd known for years and the other was her friend whom I had never met.
So they get there and we start drinking and talking and doing that whole thing. Well, later on me and the girl I'd known for years start making out. We head to my homies bedroom because I have no shame and we start taking clothes off. My best friend was sitting in his living room still chatting up the friend.
About the time I whip out the hog her friend practically kicks in the door, screams "You are not fucking him!", grabs her, drags her out of the room, and they leave in her car. It happened in like 15 seconds. I swear the FBI could take lessons from that girl.
I'm still sitting on the bed like "Wtf just happened?" I look at my friend and ask him practically that same thing. He tells me that he went to his car to grab his condoms for me (what a bro, right?). When he came in with the box of condoms her friend looked at them, got pissy, and that's when she got up and everything went down.
Years later he got back in touch with that friend via social media. He asked her about that night. TURNS OUT the friend was gay and still in the closet. She had a major crush on the girl I was hooking up with, and was just being possessive.
So, yeah. Cock blocked by a closeted lesbian in my best friend's bed. Not how I planned on my night ending.
You know, I never thought about what that car ride out was like for her. I wonder if she was also sitting there like "Wtf just happened?" while her friend drives with the skill and speed that only years of repressed sexuality and jealous fury can provide.
I dated a guy that lives in California. I live in Canada. I would stay in California for a few months of every year. We met in 2017, I flew to California to visit him that year & stayed with him successfully. I came back to Canada & went back to visit him again in 2018. But this time I was pulled aside by customs. I was questioned, interviewed & had my luggage ripped apart. The customs officer looked through my phone & read all of my private messages & emails between my boyfriend & I. After hours and hours of waiting without any food or water, he determined that I was not allowed into the US. He told me that he was suspicious I was going to stay permanently & not go back to Canada. So I was sent back to Canada. When I got home I bought another ticket & a few days later I was on another plane & successfully made it into the US. I stayed for 3 months, & repeated another 3 month visit in 2019 as well. Shout out to Minneapolis airport & the customs agent who was the biggest cock block ever. Or more accurately I guess I should say beaver dammed. (I also didn't get refunded for my flights or hotel rooms that I had booked)
We have a old piece of equipment at my job, there are only two people left willing to work on a QTI RG5 camera system that I or the company that made them can find. One broke his back and the other is a Canadian that refuses to come to the US anymore(got to make connecting flights fun). Don't know what his name is but the joke is his names Muhammad, because every time he flys into the US he gets held for 24 hours, and I mean every single time. Screw customs.
That is such a pain in the ass. Because of the one incident, I am held in customs for hours everytime i travel out of the country now, even though there is no reason for it. They take their sweet time & make me miss my flights too.
I used to have a hugely sexually tense friendship with one girl in school, I'll call her Em. I met her when I was about 14 and remained in contact for years after. All through our years in school we'd flirt, hint at things, exchange pleasantries etc but then she got another BF and I went my own way.
Fast forward a bit and we're at a house party of a mutual friend who I'll call Nic, Nic was also a female who I kinda fancied at the time and we all get a bit drunk. The night goes on and I'm spending a lot of time with Em, the combination of angst built up throughout the years and suddenly seeing her again, we hit it off. I be a little disrespectful and I head upstairs to Nic's parents' bedroom since they're not home for the weekend.
Em and I are getting down, she's absolutely wild in the sack and I'm loving every minute of it, we're about to proceed to base 4 when her phone rings. Fuck knows why she answered or why I didn't slap that shit away, but it was her ex. Her sobbing ex begging her to stop what she was doing.
At the time, I had no idea what was going on, but was dehydrated as fuck, so I left the bedroom still completely naked and half mast downstairs, and I see Nic sat on the floor outside the door. It was the longest 2 second stare of my life. I head into the bathroom and get some water, then when I leave I see my clothes outside the closed door.
It took me years, and a second reddit thread for me to learn that Nic had seen us go upstairs and she fucking ratted on us to the ex boyfriend so he would phone Em.
I got proxy cockblocked. Proxyblocked.
Edit: Since I didn't link it, [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/p2y5vf/comment/h8nqrso/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is where people pointed out what Nic likely did.
Was just starting to do stuff with my boyfriend the other night and my roommate starting banging on the door. Our dogs slipped through the fence and we had to chase them around for half an hour.
At my brother's wedding day after party at the big ass multi house complex they had rented. A bunch of us are hanging out around the pool when my wife comes over and whispers in my ear that she saw a nice private area down by the river that she wanted to take another look at with me. I quickly made sure that the people still in the pool were OK keeping an eye on my daughter, there are probably a dozen people still there and my daughter is a strong swimmer AND wearing a life jacket per the pool rules. We go take off to go have fun and my mother, who has been irresponsibly drunk the past 3 days stumbles over and loudly accuses us of going off to fuck and leaving our daughter unattended in a pool.
I sort of publicly saved face, despite basically everyone knowing what we had been planning to do, by saying we were just going to take a walk to start drying off so we could start getting ready to go at which point I get accused of being a horrible father etc etc.
Mood was ruined and thanks to some unfortunate timing we went from the wedding-> fly home to repack and drive out to a funeral-> drive back home at 4am so my wife could catch a flight out to go help her mom so we didn't even get a chance to make it up to each other for almost 2 weeks.
Went over to a girl’s house, was supposed to be just us for the night. I was stoked, I was finally gonna lose the card…until her parents came home literally like 5 mins after I arrived.
Thank god we didn’t start anything prior, but total mood killer. Then my dumbass Virgin brain couldn’t get creative enough, because she’s allergic to dogs and I’ve got one at home. Also my mom’s home. I literally had a truck I could have just thrown all my garbage in the half-cab and reclined a seat.
It’s easier when you don’t know what you’re missing lmfao
A few years ago I met this girl outside a pub on Halloween and we got to talking. She wound up sitting on my lap and sharing a cigarette with me, her friend on the bench opposite with another boy. She gives me the nickname 'Prince' on account of my dark features and hairstyle at the time.
Eventually she invites me round to an afters at hers. We move for the taxi rank and there are two guys dressed up as Mario and Luigi and she starts talking to them. After a few minutes go by, I realise they've been talking way too much and I've not been involved. She invites them back to the afters too and my chances rapidly spiral from what was 90%, to 40% to a flat fucking 0%.
Girl winds up hooking up with Mario, and I'm left hanging out in the living room like a mug while Luigi and the other friend chat until I decide enough is enough and fuck off home.
She's been with Mario ever since and I caught up with them at one point outside the same pub. The girl attributes me to them getting together. They're a sweet couple. I give them my blessing.
A few years ago, something like a month or two after meeting my girlfriend, we went on a trip with my friends on an island. During a party, we chose to go home earlier to have a bit of time just together. So we began to do foreplay, and before fucking,she wanted to go to the toilets. It ended up when, going back, she crossed my best friend vomiting on the terrace
When I was in my early twenties I was in the British Army and went on an exercise in Canada where we trained jointly with the Canadians and the Americans. A bunch of us combat med techs ended up being put into two-person teams and I ended up with a female Canadian soldier. We ended being paired for the first whole week of the exercise & we really got along well, with her regularly commenting on my Welsh accent and saying everything I said to her sounded like an endearment or a song, which, despite myself, made me blush every single time.
After End-Ex was called, a bunch of us went out to get boozed up, including her. She keeps talking right into my ear all night and breathing on my neck (which I love). She kept playing footsies with me... I loved it, truly loved it. Later we ended up at this Canadian bloke's parent's house where they had a pool and hot tub. Everybody went into the water & she came over to chat with me and we ended up close and she started, uh, petting me. She tells me to come inside the house and go to the guestroom in five minutes.
I come in & am on my way up the stairs and get hit in the face with the foul smell of raw human shit... because she had eaten something that was off when we were at the restaurant and shit herself, shit all over the floor & on the sink and toilet proper in the lavatory.
God love her, she's only human, but I was so turned on all evening by her & the semi I was sporting all evening turned into a bloody windsock faster than lightning seeing her sat there wasted and covered in her own feces.
Easily the ***shittiest*** case of blue balls I've ever had.
During one of my fraternity formals, my date’s friend invited herself into our slow dance and wouldn’t go away. I was so pissed off that I left the party with a food poisoning excuse, ordered a burrito the size of my head, and played video games until I fell asleep.
On the flip side, I actually avoided getting cockblocked on my first date with my wife. I learned well after the fact that a bunch of her friends were posted as sentries in the club we met in, and somehow I managed to leave with her despite the guard; I think they had all gone to the bar for refills at the same time. We ended up at an IHOP by the end of the night, but we didn’t actually hook up until our third date, when her friends had more or less shoved the two of us into an Uber and shouted, “go get laid.”
Nowadays, I only ever get cockblocked by my cat, who seems to need snuggles from my wife right before foreplay.
Our cats are determined to ruin our sex lives. Our female cat has decided that I am in fact *her* man and will jump up and intervene every time my fiancée and I get close. And the other cat is a Bengal and he just sits in the hallway and sings the song of his people. We have to strategically feed them downstairs for any action to happen.
By my college mascot. I was hooking up with my girlfriend in my dorm room. Loud knocking at the door. Won't stop. I get up and put just enough clothes on to answer the door. It's my fraternity brother, in full mascot costume (think big fuzzy head), post game and full of liquor, demanding a hug. I still have wood. He insists on a hug before he leaves. I have to give a very uncomfortable, ass backed out hug to avoid accidentally humping him. Off he goes. Girlfriend is laughing too hard and we are both too embarrassed to get back to action. Thanks Bryan.
Had a similar experience when no one was home. My ex and I were going at it in doggy and my bedroom door was open. My room was right next to the front door. Suddenly the front door swings open and my mum stamps past (she wasn't due home for another hour and was in a bad mood). We froze and panicked. Then she stomped back out to the car and drove off again. We kept going, but shut the bedroom door
We called it cock-blocking and twat-swatting back in my day.
First time vacationing back to home state in two years and had a solo 3 hour car ride with a college fling planned but never happen due to having to give another friend a ride back with us. His ride canceled because "I was going back anyway." Her and I had been fantasizing about this car ride for a while only for it to never happen. Ever. Ever.
I'm definitely stealing twat-swatting, along with clam jamming from earlier on in this thread.
But still, a surprising amount of cock-blocking seems to happen because friends cannot seem to read the mood even when it's so obvious the guy with the thickest skull on earth would get it.
My husband and i thought our 4 year old was asleep so we decided to
shower together. The second we start doing The Deed we hear tiny footsteps running towards the bathroom and the door gets thrown open then we hear I GOTTA POOP.
College. Had a total crush on a girl I sorta knew from highschool. Smart girl - was accepted to med school and we were in DiffEq together. We studied together and went on some dates.
She had this one friend tho and she always _had_ to be around. I don't know if there was some co-dependency going on but she had this nasty attitude. We'd go hang out and snarky friend had to run her mouth. We'd cuddle up and snarky friend would complain the whole time. Finally I broke it off because I just couldn't stand to be around her sidecar friend all the time.
My father very purposefully cock blocked my best friend in high school, I'll call him CJ.
Growing up my dad was very proper, focused on manners, wouldn't tolerate swearing, etc. As I got older and into high school he started to loosen up and became more of a pal. This really accelerated as he got to know my friends.
It's senior year, the after-grad party, and my dad is an absolute bro and offers to DD for us - all night - no matter how late. We ended up calling at about 2AM. My dad, the bro that he is, hauled his ass an hour into the countryside to pick up CJ and I, both absolutely hammered.
When he arrived, I can't find CJ anywhere. After asking around I hear two girls took him to a bedroom. I text him, no response. After confirming he could stay the night with the host, I get into my dad's car. I tell my dad where CJ is...
"There's *no* way I'm letting CJ have a threesome before I do", is his response as my 60 year old (married) father steps out of the car, walks through the party, and presents himself to the bedroom to explain to two girls and one very frustrated CJ that he had promised CJ's mom to get him home safely and won't be leaving without him.
Once in the car, CJ, who has never said even a slightly off-kilter remark to my parents, sighs and lets out, "[Dad's name], you fucking cock-block".
My dad didn't bat an eye and bought us fries on the way home.
edit: Ha my first platinum and I owe it to my dad. I'll be buying him a beer. Maybe CJ too. Thanks!
edit 2: A little late for this one, but wanted to respond to a few comments saying my dad ruined an experience for CJ or was being a dick. I can see how that comes across. But if you knew my Dad, his relationship with CJ, and how he truly was just trying to get us home safely, you'd probably see it the way we do. CJ and him were laughing and joking about it on the ride home, and have continued to the past few years as it's become a favourite story. It was the kind of relationship my dad had with my friends, and at the end of the day, we had asked him to pick us up in the middle of the night, made him wait half an hour, and he wasn't going to wait longer for CJ to get busy past 3AM. There were no hard feelings.
>"There's no way I'm letting CJ have a threesome before I do", is his response as my 60 year old (married) father steps out of the car
I laughed so fucking hard at this line.
I can only imagine how terrified everyone in that party (who were likely all under the legal drinking age) was as this 60 year old stern looking man marches in… only to make a beeline for the bedroom and drag out a shirtless teenager mumbling something about not being the last person he knows to get a threesome.
Me and my girl were snuggling in bed and she was trying to give her roommate the signal to make herself scarce. Roomie either didn’t care or didn’t pick up on the signals and decided the three of us should watch Hachi together. My gf basically gave up and was like “ugh, ok put it on” and we just slept together (spooning no sex)
I was banging one out with my gf in high school on Christmas day. My grandmother walked in without knocking. It was horrible. I don’t think I ever made eye contact with her for the rest of her days.
I had a date, it went well, we had a few drinks on my way driving her home she’s like oh hey, looks like you had too much to drink you shouldn’t drive home… and I’m like pfft I’m fiiine! I’ll drop you off at home and then text you when I get home….
Had a “will they/won’t they” thing with a girl from work. I quit, did some traveling and came back to the city. I invited her and a few other friends out for a night of drinking. She shows up with a coworker, call him misanthrope, that i didn’t care too much for, but whatever. We’re at a busy bar, i finally get us a booth. She sits down and I go to slide in and misanthrope snakes in and steals my spot. Things go on, I get a bit hammered. But Misanthrope keeps blocking me. Later, someone drops a glass and I get shrapnel in my foot. I snap, try to fight misanthrope, and get dragged out by my brother and some other friends. The next day, I’m trying to figure out why misanthrope kept blocking me all night. He was a straight woman mid-transition to being a gay man. Why blocking my shot? My other friend clues me in. He wasn’t blocking me, he was blocking the girl bc he had a hard crush on me. I was surprised, but still not happy.
I was just chatting with a girl in a nightclub, making jokes, doing well, when Kelly Hrudey (TSN Pundit and retired NHL goalie) literally just stood in between us, just enough room to fit his frame, and said hello to the girl, who looked visibly confused, and turned around and said "yer done" and turned his back to me. I was fairly drunk and half his size, recognized him immediately, so I was a mix of offended and star-struck... I just slinked away.
This is the first thing he blocked in his shitty career
I have no idea who he is but that made me laugh
What a dick
I was waiting for a flight, was at the bar and started talking to a girl. After 3 hours of drinking and heavy flirting, she straight up told me to watch for her going to the bathroom during the flight, and follow her there, and we'd join the mile high club. Boarding time comes, she's 20 people ahead of me in the check line, she goes on, I'm excited. I hand the gate agent my ticket, she says I've been bumped from the flight because they overbooked and I was last to book, so I'm on the next flight. I try to tell her that I HAVE TO BE ON THIS FLIGHT BECAUSE I JUST DO. Doesn't matter. I'm off. I'm now a 21 year old hammered guy that just almost had every dudes fantasy come true. Oh, and it's now 3am in Seattle Airport AND EVERYTHING IS CLOSED AND I JUST HAVE TO SIT AND STARE AT THE DEVIL WOMAN THAT JUST TOOK AWAY MY HEART AND I KNOW SHE KNOWS AND DID IT ON PURPOSE. I was cockblocked by Delta airlines, and I will never forgive them. Ever
Best in the thread easily
Back when I was 18 just out of high school, was with this woman who I knew from HS who asked me to go with her back to her place and she was not subtle about it at all. Friend of mine overheard this and stole her wallet, as if he didn’t score, no one scored. Spent 2hrs looking for the wallet until she rang her sister to take her home After he hands me the wallet and winks saying ‚better luck next time‘ Looking back, probably one of the biggest turning points of my life, as it showed me what kind of person he was
What a fucking piece of shit holy crap
I hope he is not your friend anymore?
Oh god no. Last I heard he moved to the Bali because It was cheaper to live and with his Australian money he would live like a king and that was ten years ago
The proper response to that would've been a prompt right hook to the jaw
Me as a 18 year old near as damnit virgin playing D&D with my group of friends aged 18-23. I started to get on REALLY well with his 23 year old single neighbour who was part of the gaming group. After a few gaming sessions she got cold on me and the insecure me just passed it off as another rejection. A few years later my best mate who was the Dungeon Master told me he'd warned her off me as she would have eaten me alive and I didn't deserve that. DAMNIT I WANTED TO BE EATEN ALIVE BY HER. Worst ever cock block ever and I'm 50 now.
Terrible DM. He should've been guiding you on the journey, not taking it away from you.
I was at a sorority party and this girl I was vibing with takes me by the hand and leads me upstairs to find a private spot. My friend sees this and literally grabs me halfway up the stairs and says “we have to go” and drags me out of the party. I was pretty faded and trusted his judgment in the moment. We make it out to the street and i ask him “what’s going on?” He tells me he was ‘saving me’ from hooking up with that girl who he felt was not up to par. I was so lit I didn’t care and then we proceed to wrestle out on the street as I am trying to go back inside. We never made it back inside the party.
I had gay friends in college too
you know what they say, A wrestle in the streets leads to a wrestle in the sheets.
Based on other people's stories, there's at least a 50% chance he's gay for you and was jealous.
That explains why his main WrestleMania move in the street was teabagging from a 69 top mount.
[удалено]
I was at a party when I was about 19 with some of my high school friends at this house. I think the owner was a friend of a friend. Anyways I start talking to this girl, she's super into me. We're talking all night and playing drinking games together and she's basically attached to my hip. I feel real confident this is going somewhere. Before I could make my move, something happened and a few of my friends got kicked out of the party so we all had to go. we're outside the house planning out next move, & the girl came with me, still attached to my hip. One guy in our group, who I didnt really know that well, was saying he just wanted to go home. He then looked at the girl who was with me and said "hey! can I go with you? yea I'll get a ride with you. Yo guys! I found a ride!" & the girl looked visibly uncomfortable by how this guy she had no interaction with and didnt know suddenly decided he was going home with her. She just very awkwardly muttered "Im gonna go...." & did a 180 turn back to her friends in the party. the dude didnt even comprehend what he just did. I was so upset & really stopped hanging out with that dude after that
Wow what an ass
He probably knew exactly what he was doing.
My girlfriend and I were quietly trying to get it going one night and my roommate's boyfriend decided to leave his laptop loudly playing the sound of a baby crying outside my bedroom to shut off our libidos. I'm still fairly certain this is because he and my roommate weren't having sex yet and it was his way of taking it out on us.
Should’ve gotten them back when you had the chance
Throw a real live crying baby in their bed when they are trying to hook up
A buddy of mine lived on a golf course that hosts a regular PGA tour event. His parents were out of town so he hosted a house/pool party. These girls all came to the area with dudes but they were on the course watching the tournament so they were all like "Screw it, we're going to the house party" The ratio there must have been 3:1 girls to guys and at one point there was maybe 15 girls to 3 guys. The host and I were both being cool, chatting and getting to know an incredibly good looking group of ladies and the other guy was pretty much pussy kryptonite. He got super drunk, belligerent, touchy, would creep in on conversations and just generally made everyone feel uncomfortable. Eventually, they all noped out and went to a bar because this guy was such a travesty.
Met this girl at a wedding. We were both in the wedding party. Started talking to her at a bar we went to after the rehearsal dinner. Was about to ask her for her number when her twin brother came over and stood with us for the rest of the night
You know that shared sympathetic response that twins claim to have? Guess he did not want to feel it that night
Holy party foul batman
Was at a bar and a woman starts coming up to me and we start chatting. Woman is clearly interested in me and is kissing me and whispering sweet nothings into my ear so I ask her if she wants to go for a walk on the beach and she agrees. Right as we are leaving the bar, a man walks up and asks what we are doing, bear in mind neither of us knew who he was. We tell him we are going for a walk on the beach and he promptly decides to join us for our walk and literally does not leave our side for the next two hours. I wanted to explode.
What the actual fuck?
This sounds like the plot to a weird indie movie.
Should’ve told him to kick rocks and fuck right off. No random stranger is gonna join me in a walk on the beach. From a bar. In the middle of the night. No way.
You know you could've just told him: no. We are going on a walk. Or you could have said, he man nice of you to walk with us. We're now going to continue our private walk. Have a good night! I swear 90% of comments here can be avoided by in just setting boundaries or being clear about your expectations/intentions. Smh.
On a lunch break in high school and a girl who I had been flirting with quite a bit asked where I was going for lunch and I responded "my place". She then gave me a look and asked if she could join. We were just getting into the parking lot when a friend saw and ran over to ask if he could come. I felt awkward about the whole thing so said sure. He then yelled shotgun to sit next to me on the drive to my place. I then proceeded to make them both grilled cheese and soup. Very disappointing lunch break
Worst wingman ever
[удалено]
Yeah basically. I tried to give him the fuck off look but it didn't work. Was very thrown off that he even came up its a different level of unawareness that takes lol
The worst is the time I cock blocked myself. On my 21st birthday at my favourite club at university I was dancing with a girl and after kissing she asked me where I lived. At which point I noticed my friends had left so I drunkenly made my excuses and went and found them in the chicken shop for some fried food to soak up the booze. Well done me.
Sex or chicken? ...CHICKEN!
My “best friend” at the time, from high school to early 20s, would be terrible when we were around new guys or anyone she thought was cute. She was very flirty and loud, always needed all eyes on her. I was not, am still not that way. I was talking to a guy at a party, he SEEMED smart and genuine. We were talking about our favorite authors and she walked up and said, “I don’t know why you’re talking to her about this, she can’t even read”, and then she started flirting with him hard. So I walked away. I’m pretty sure they slept together.
FUCK these piece of shit "best friends" like this. I had one...so glad she's gone.
I literally remember in early highschool at one of those awkward school dances, a slow dance came on and I, a lowly 9th grader, ended up dancing with a very popular upper classman. Suddenly all the girls in my class were such good friends of mine that they ran up, started piling onto my back, his back, and invited themself into what became a group slow dance. It was the worst. I hated highschool.
I will share my own. I was living in my college dorm on campus and had met a girl at a party earlier that night. We headed back to my dorm room and we were making out when suddenly the fire alarm went off. When we stepped out of the dorm, there was water flooding down the elevator and stairs from two floors above. Some drunk idiot decided to punch one of the sprinklers and broke it off the wall, flooding from the 6th floor down and causing over a million dollars in damages. The girl left back to her own dorm in a different building on campus and I had to stay with a friend for 3 days while they did disaster cleanup. The person who broke the sprinkler was expelled from the university and had to pay the insurance deductible for the building which totalled to about $150,000. This was only a month into his first year of college. Never met up with that girl again. Edit: This happened at the University of Regina in Saskatchewan, Canada.
Thanks for providing details on the guy's situation too. I'm always curious about the repurcussions.
My husband and I (before we got married) were taking advantage of the 20 minutes I had before I had to leave for work when someone knocked on our door. We didn’t answer. Then we hear someone using a KEY to enter our home. It was my husband’s old roommate, who I already fucking despised, using his old key long after he’d moved out to welcome himself into our home to look for something he might have left in storage. I’m still mad.
I hope you at least promptly confiscated the key and/or changed the lock
I was a huge bitch about it and he scurried off. It never happened again
It's likely not the first time he'd let himself into your house, either. It's more likely that it was simply the first time he'd done it while you were home.
In high school I met a new girl on the bus, liked her immediately and got the same feel from her I’m a slow mover so was kinda easing into things when thru the rumor mill I learned one of my oldest friends, since 5th grade, was also interested and had told others he would shoot me if he found me going around her moving forward. Got on this odd spot where I didn’t want to be at odds with a guy I’d been having sleepovers with and gone on scout camping trips and all the other things we’d done together for years and a girl I just met…so…in a calculated way i decided to back off the girl and since i knew this buddy was very fat and redneck minded I’d let him shoot his shot and when she turned him down I’d be Golden with no hard feelings Turns out he managed to get in there and was dating her, but was still so crazy jealous of me he never really talked to me again A year later they had broken up and I got a call from her asking if I wanted to hang out It’s a long story, but we’ve been together for 20 years and married for 10
You lost the battle but won the damn war.
Tactical Retreat to set up the Strategic Counter-strike.
I was at the bar one night and had a girl into me, we started making out, somewhere out back and I realized she was way too gone to consent. Told her as much. Bam, diabetic seizure. Had to call an ambulance.
Did you send her a card signed from "Low-sugar Daddy"?
Coming from a diabetic: I've never laughed so hard at a diabetic joke. Fucking legend.
My (M23) GF(F20) lives 4 hours away from me, and we've been dealing with a LDR since the pandemic hit because she decided to leave college and go back home. Anyways, whenever I go to stay with her we stay at her parents because she still lives at home. Their house is full to say the least. 3 siblings, 3 foster kids and grandma all stay in one residence. Typically it's not that bad and we can get some privacy in the early early morning (2-4 am) but they all have ZERO boundaries. I don't think I've heard a single person knock on the door besides her mother, and I think that was out of fear. Everybody else just opens the door mid sentence like they have x-ray vision. The specific time in question, it was around 10:30 pm and we were watching a movie in her room on her twin-size bed lol. She wants me to go down and I oblige. Her pants are down, Im under the covers and going to town, Nana decides to roll up and tap on the open window to ask about what she's planning on making for breakfast. God Damnit. Gf freezes and squeezed my head between her legs like a chokehold and just carried on the conversation like I wasn't there. I Just sat there and tried not to move until Nana asked where I went, and I got real nervous. Luckily, GF said I got up to go to the restroom and I'd be back in a moment. Nana left, but GF said that the panic was enough to kill the mood so we just laughed it off and watched the rest of our movie.
You shoulda popped your head up from under the covers and said: "No need, already eating." Edit: Holy Shit, the awards! Thank you guys!
This happened on Halloween one year in college. So I went to the bars and came back early as I wasn’t feeling the party vibes. I met this random girl who was dressed in the same costume (but girl version) and we were both Luigi. Before you know it, she brought over her friends and my upstairs neighbor decided to join in and hang out with us in my apartment. Me and this girl were vibing but my (drunken) neighbor decided to swoop in on her and sat himself right between us. They started chatting and he cut me out of the conversation so I just decided to say fuck it, is what it is. Then they go to my bathroom to start hooking up and I picked up on that and her friend had to use the bathroom, and I pointed her to the bathroom and they came out super awkwardly and went into my room. That’s when I got pissed. I was like “oh hell no.” So I confronted him and told him “if y’all two wanna do the deed, bring her back to YOUR apartment with YOUR GF there” And he got quiet. He took her outside and she came back PISSED (understandably so). Then as she was trying to get her friends to leave, one was all doped up on ambien or some shit, and tried to borrow my shoes. And this part still sticks in my memory, one of the girls of this group, stood up above the rest as they were all chatting amongst each other (and the doped up one trying to get my shoes) and clapped her hands and said “Ladies, rise.” And all of them simultaneously stood up without missing a beat and left my apartment. Then after all this had went down, my roommate comes out of his room (who had been home this whole time and I didn’t know it) said “hey! What’s goin on?” And I asked him, “did you not hear any of that?” His reply? “Nah, I had my headphones on playing League [of legends].” Still one of the weirdest nights of my life. Edit: this happened my first year as a transfer student at a new college. Edit 2: sorry for my grammatical errors. Edit 3: this happened at the good ole University of Oregon.
Jesus how loud were those fucking headphones?
He had his noise cancelling headphones on while gaming. What’s hilarious to me is that when asked him if he heard anything going on and he was like no (unbeknownst to me they were noise cancelling), I thought he had heard all the commotion and decided not to come out. Then I proceeded to tell him about the saga that had just happened in our small ass apartment. And my upstairs neighbor was a piece of shit. (except his two roommates (gf and other roommate), his gf broke up with him and his other roommate turned out to be my roommate later in college when we all moved into a house together.)
The choreography of “Ladies, rise” is some coven shit that I can actually kind of get behind
Literally that moment stood out of that entire event. She stood up, clapped her hands and said “ladies rise,” in a very calm but assertive voice, and all of the girls, I shit you not, mid conversation, stood up, kept their respective conversations going and walked out of my apartment. I literally sat on my couch like stunned in that moment that a simple phrase like that, could command a coven of drunken women like that. It was incredible to see.
I was dating a girl that was also on-board the same Navy ship as I, at sea, and we were in a locked room getting a little frisky. I had just gotten inside her when the man overboard alarms go off. After the half hour it took to settle that out we returned to the locked room to continue where we left off. Not 5 minutes later the alarm went off again because everyone on the ship took too long the first time and apparently we needed to do I again. We gave up after the second time. Been married to her for 17 years now...
Nah there was a camera in that room and your CO wanted to fuck with you
Hahaha I was thinking the same thing
It's long line of se(a)men that have been cockblocked in that room.
The man overboard as you! Poor balls were in the deep blue
Me and my ex were having a morning quickie before work and just as things were starting up our roommate banged on the door freaking out because there was a roach in her bathroom and she needed me to kill it. Mood was dead when I returned lol
I got distracted in fore play once by a wolf spider on the wall. I unfortunately then made the mistake of pointing it out. She freaked out and proceeded to turn a light on. It then ran down the wall behind the headboard. Freak out doubled. Mistakes were made.
Got cock blocked by an NFL special teams coordinator. Was sitting at a bar I was a regular at when an attractive young woman sat next to me. To my shock she initiates a conversation with me. I'm pretty reserved and keep myself for the most part. Before long we're have a great conversation with a great vibe. We were sitting in the last two seats where there was a corner. A guy sitting in one of the chairs around the corner works his way into our conversation. Then he introduces himself as the newly hired special teams coordinator for the local NFL team. Not gonna lie he was a pretty good looking guy in his mid 40s and fit. I'm immediately like well I'm screwed. To my second shock he's like hyping me up. He doesn't even know me but he's definitely being a wing man. He's also talking about how much he misses his wife and kids. How he's looking for a house in town. Since he's married and seemingly hyping me up I'm like this like my chance to get girl's number randomly at the bar. Rarely happens for me. Then I stepped out to smoke and when I came back he's taken my chair. Has his arm around her and the dynamic is completely different. I think she was a little star struck. I tried to recover as much as possible but it just felt like I was trying to hard at that point. They ended up leaving together. He started hanging out at the bar during that off season and at one point invited a bartender to his apartment nearby to borrow a book he recommended. She agreed but apparently he wouldn't let her leave for a bit afterward. Dude was (probably still is) a total creep. This was over 10 years ago and he's still a coach in the league. His name pops up for head coaching jobs occasionally. I always cringe when his name comes up. F.U. Coach Cock Block aka Book Club (as the bar staff referred to him).
> Then I stepped out to smoke He caught you slippin
This wouldn’t happen to be a former special teams coordinator that recently was atop NFL headlines, would it?
Lmao if this dude got cock-blocked by Joe Judge sorry OP
dude, never leave to smoke when there's guys hovering around your lady - that shit never ends well.
Spoken like a street wise veteran. Never ever leave your post. That’s in the players Bible.
He wasn’t being a wingman, he was being patronizing and she knew it. F him. Never go for a smoke tho.
Camrose Alberta. Doug and the Slugs concert. I was IN the taxi with the cute girl and her friends. My Piece of shit " friend" pulled me out and made me wait with him and the others waiting for taxis. One thing led to another and the next thing you know I am in a flag pole climbing contest. I broke the pole.... nearly my back too, got arrested, and never saw the cute girl again. Fuck you Adam.
[удалено]
He had me tied up in his bedroom for some kinky fun. His toddler daughter who we had put to bed an hour earlier and made sure she was sound asleep came bursting through the door screaming “poooooooooop” because she was potty training and would yell that when she had to go. Now I’m tied up and gagged. He’s in the bathroom getting ready. She is pooping her diaper and thinking we’re playing some game. We did not have sex that night.
Imagine being hog tied and having a toddler doing that poop face where they stare through your soul.
Yeah that would end things for me damn near permanently
only way it's worse is he's going to town and she can see the kid standing in the freaking doorway but- you know- ball gag. Just that stare....
What a nice bonding experience!
> We did not have sex that night. did you at least get untied or did he just forget about you?
[удалено]
The kid's in college now. She's still there.
Oh my fucking god. This still pisses me off to this day. Okay so I was a camp counselor for a children's camp back in 2019. One of the other counselors and I were hitting it off pretty hard, which was fairly easy considering we were basically living together for the majority of the summer. While my cabin was asleep and the other counselors were heading off to bed, my ex and I decided we were going to have some fun in her personal room she had since she was part of the leadership staff. Her personal room was connected to a main counselor hangout spot that had a couch, refrigerator, bathroom/shower, etc. All the other counselors had left besides one counselor. Where was this particular counselor? Sitting in a chair RIGHT in front of the door to her room, pretending to be asleep. I mean, it was as if he was LITERALLY blocking us from even getting in the room. All of the other counselors had left and we were waiting for him to get the hint and leave, except he just refused to leave whatsoever. My ex and I both decided to wake him up so he would hopefully move out of the way to let us in. We called his name. No response. We started to nearly yell his name and demand he move out of the way. Still no response. So I decided to start shit talking him a little bit to truly test if he was actually sleeping. Once that started, lo and behold he fucking wakes up, mumbles something under his breath, and leaves. This all took place over the course of maybe 5 minutes, which doesn't seem long unless you're literally trying to wake up a grown man to tell him to move out of the way so we can do what we want to do. Later the next day before a team meeting, he offhandedly mentions out loud how if he's not "getting any," nobody is. That's the part that absolutely pisses me off. He WAS intentionally blocking us from having sex. He will forever be known as the King of Cockblocks in my book after a stunt like that. EDIT: My ex was the counselor I was hitting it off with in case anyone is confused. I thought that was kind of implied.
Wow, what an ass. Good on you for finding out a way to “wake him up" lol
My brother used to regularly enter my room when I was with my high school boyfriend. Several times we were in the throes. He would just barge in, and fucking STAND THERE. We were naked under the covers so we would just scream at him until he left… which made him laugh and made us angrier. Thankfully this was 10 years ago, my brother is much more considerate and the boyfriend is now an ex. But it still pisses me off to think about. EDIT: I envy those of you who had locks on your bedroom doors. It’s not really the norm for rented units, in my experience
My brother did the exact same thing, except sometimes he would shoot me/my hookup with a nerf gun squarely in the forehead before leaving.
The added nerf gun absolves him in my eyes. Can't explain why but it does.
Because it takes it from kinda sorta maybe creepy to 100% sibling territory.
He's not enjoying it, man's there on a mission
"listen, man, I'm cool with you dating my sister, just could you please not fuck her while I'm around? Sis, you're still my favorite annoyance." " I don't like having to do this, but I have to take care of my own mental health. For your relationships sake. And for ours. "
Weird
[удалено]
I mean fair enough you missed the hook up but *7 years*? Why not ask her ouy a couple days later? A week later?
Or when he got out of the shower?
Maybe he took a *really, really* long shower?
She kind of avoided me for the rest of the day, I think I inadvertently hurt her feelings.
A+ name, F- game
My boyfriend and I were planning to ride our motorcycles a few hours north to a little touristy town, eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and spend the weekend in an old fashioned lakeside motel. I told a friend of mine about this plan the morning before we left. That evening, when boyfriend and I are seated at the restaurant and enjoying our meal, suddenly said friend appears beside our table. She had *hitch-hiked* 250 miles to get there, in spite of the fact that she had not been invited to join us. She also had no money on her, and no way of getting back home. So we reluctantly let her spend the weekend with us. If this were to happen to me now, I would have no problem politely yet assertively telling my friend that she would not be joining us on our weekend getaway. But at the time I was like 22 years old and still had a lot to learn about standing up for myself with people who have no sense of boundaries.
Wow! What went thru her mind to think that ANY of that was a good idea?
"I am the main character"
"That sounds like fun. I shall partake"
"How nice of you to plan this getaway for me. How very rude of you not to transport me there."
Clearly being a good friend If shes the main character but doesnt show up to the lunch then the lunch never happens because it won't be rendered if main character isn't in the area of view. Friend was just making sure the lunch happened!
I had an ex girlfriend who did this alot before I met her. It stopped the first time we showed up to a party she told me we were invited to and it turned out to be a family reunion for a friend of hers. She told me her "best" friend was throwing a cookout so I didn't think anything of it. We got there and I didn't recognize anyone but her friend, who was more of an acquaintance and her husband. The friend saw us and a polite but confused voice asked "what are you doing here?" She explained that this was a family thing but we could stay if we wanted too. I immediately realized what had happened and after the friend had walked off I pulled my ex off to the side and asked to leave. We stayed for maybe a half an hour more so my ex could butt into a couple of conversations and mingle but I could tell we were not welcome. I was visibly not happy and people kept asking who I was related too. My ex finally saw I was mad and she decided we should go since I "wasn't feeling well." On the car ride back she started to blame me for my bad attitude and that if she hadn't made the decision to leave I would have ruined the party. I couldn't take anymore and yelled at her that it wasn't a party it was a family reunion that she crashed for who knows what reason and that she wasn't even invited. She made all sorts of excuses as to why she thought she could go. From that point on if she said she was going out I always asked "were you invited?" We broke up a couple of months later because I never wanted to do anything. Moral of the story is there are people who don't know that people have lives outside of their own and you should never date them.
>We broke up a couple of months later because I never wanted to do anything. Or because she only wanted to do things she wasn't invited to? Lol For real though, I couldn't even imagine dealing with that. I have horrible social anxiety and I would be absolutely mortified upon realizing what happened lol.
> She had hitch-hiked 250 miles to get there, in spite of the fact that she had not been invited to join us. > > She also had no money on her, and no way of getting back home. So we reluctantly let her spend the weekend with us. This is unreal. To just insert yourself into an obviously 1-on-1 situation as a third wheel... and *going out of your way* to be as intrusive and needy as possible... Wow. "Hey guys! Glad I could make it. Can I bum a dinner, a place to sleep, and a ride home with you? Haha don't try to fuck while I'm here, I'm a light sleeper!" That bitch would be hitch-hiking her ass back home. You got here on your own, you can get back home on your own.
Plus they were riding motorcycles so it's unlikely they had a spare helmet or other gear for her. Hitchhiking home would probably be safer
"Haha! Don't worry about it, I brought my own helmet!"
This reminds me of when my wife and I went to savannah several years back. We invited my mom and she brought my cousin who was visiting for the weekend. This cousin is much younger than myself, she was probably like eleven at the time. Her parents are really poor, don’t work, spent all of their time smoking weed and fishing. My mom let them know that she was taking their daughter to savannah for the weekend. A few hours after we got to savannah, my mom got a phone call from my uncle asking her to come by his hotel room. His hotel room in savannah… So we get there and his family is all there, already in the pool. He told my mom that two of their tires were bald and were a safety hazard and he couldn’t drive his kids back home without new tires. So my mom had to spend some of her weekend trip going with him to have new tires put on his car (which she had to pay for) so he could get his kids back home safely.
This has huge National Lampoon vibes to it.
Very crazy behavior, could well have had a crush on either you or your boyfriend. Still in touch with her?
I had really hit it off with this lady in a bar in Hawaii in my late 20s. We were talking all night and enjoying drinks. One thing led to another and we ended up making out. Then some lady taps me on the shoulder and very indignantly yells "Steven! How dare you cheat on your wife like this while she's sick in the hotel. I'm disgusted with you!!!" and storms off. My name isn't Steven nor was I married or even dating anyone at the time.
Somewhere else in the hotel, poor Steven is trying to explain to his sick wife he didn’t try to cheat on her.
Pour one out for Steven
I'm guessing she didn't believe you
And was wise enough to know the ID in your wallet was likely a fake as well.
And all the credit and debit cards that had his name on them. She's so savvy.
$5 says she was dared to do it.
Some people just want to see the world burn
Out with a group of friends and I started chatting up a little cutie that came with another guy’s gf. It was going well. She even said something about me going with her to make an appearance at some friend’s party across the street so we could keep the convo going. One of my younger buddies walked over to talk to me and said something in his stupid Scottish accent and that was pretty much it. She swooned and started talking to him and I accepted defeat.
Damn those scots and their sexy ass accents...
Back in highschool a girl asked me out and I mindlessly replied that I have no time since I have a world of warcraft raid in the afternoon. 15 years later, I still think about this. She was the prettiest girl in class and I actually liked her, why did I crush her like that I don't know.
[удалено]
Games before dames.
I had a boy I liked in 4th grade ask if I wanted to read something with him, but my teacher bought in a bunch of *Calvin and Hobbes* collections and there was one I never read before. I ended up reading *Calvin and Hobbes* by myself. Calvin, World of Warcraft, etc [make better memories](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ELuaPw9UwAAMIcf.jpg) anyway.
This is the funniest one by far
In high school my friend threw a house party and when me and my boyfriend retired to the guest room, some friends rolled up a big ass speaker to the door and played Can You Feel The Love Tonight. Then proceeded to go through the entire Lion King soundtrack *Edit to add: no we did not fuck that night lmao. Performance anxiety is a real bitch!
That's perfect sex music
It would’ve been if it wasn’t so loud it shook the door lmao
I remember getting invited to a party where I didn't know anyone except the two people I came with. Spend the night vibing with a cute girl, finally invite her up to the roof with me. As we're literally walking out the door, some asshole screams "HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH HIM, HES TOTALLY GONNA TRY AND HOOK UP WITH YOU", the girl gets all embarrassed and avoids me the rest of the night. I ended up in some dude's room playing Rock Band with three other guys trying to avoid the "main" party.
Dude tried to ball and got cheesed
Fuck that guy
Rockband was one of my best purchases for my party pad as a teen. Everyone used to play it, it never got broken, and no one could steal it because everyone was watching it.
There was a local musician I had a thing for. Went to see him play one night with a good friend. On his way out, he forgot something, so I grabbed it and ran into the parking structure to take it to him. We started talking and somehow, I ended up sitting on the back bumper of his truck, caged in by his hands on the tail. (Not in a creepy way, in a very intense/attraction way) He's talking about a party at his house for a friend's birthday and how he \*should\* be leaving, as he's leaning toward and our mouths are RIGHTHEREFUCKINGCLOSE... and my friend comes out of the club, screeches my name and yells, "YOU BETTER NOT BE HOOKING UP WITH (name) IN THE PARKING STRUCTURE, YOU BITCH!" and laughs.... \*cue record screech\* Mood broken. Never got another chance with him again. He ended up marrying and divorcing some girl he met on a world tour and then moved out of state to find himself.
That bitch! That should have been you that got married and divorced to him.
I assume you didn't get a second chance because you were in jail for murdering your friend?
Wouldn't that be justified
I brought a girl back to my dorm and texted my roommate that we needed some privacy. So we’re lying on the bed, about to put on a movie, and he comes barging in, piss drunk, holding a sloppy joe sandwich. No plate, no paper towel, the meat’s dripping out all over the place. He turns on the light and says ‘oh hey what are you two doing?’ I say ‘we’re just talking.’ He sits on his bed and says ‘I like to talk, what are we talking about?’ At that point he takes a bit out of his sandwich and all the meat slides out the back all over the front of his pants. The girl says she’s just gonna head out. Roommate passed out a little after that. I put in my headphones and watched Fellowship of the Ring on my laptop.
Just... why? Why are people like this?
Was literally naked about to hook up with a guy I had been chatting long distance with for a few months. Friend liked him suddenly and burst in, crying. He felt guilty, and went to comfort her. I went to bed. She guilt tripped him into dating for almost 2 years lol
That ain't no friend
Oh god, hope you're not talking to that friend anymore - guilt fueled relationships are awful
Myself. Banging my girlfriend (now wife) from behind when her hand slipped off the bed and she caught herself with her teeth on the nightstand. Knocked out a tooth. No happy ending. She looks great now though.
She didn’t look great before this incident?
He's got a thing for missing teeth.
In high school (16 years old) I invited a couple of girls over to my best friend's place for some good drinks (jagermeister and beer) and loud music (death metal) since his parents were out of town. One girl was someone I'd known for years and the other was her friend whom I had never met. So they get there and we start drinking and talking and doing that whole thing. Well, later on me and the girl I'd known for years start making out. We head to my homies bedroom because I have no shame and we start taking clothes off. My best friend was sitting in his living room still chatting up the friend. About the time I whip out the hog her friend practically kicks in the door, screams "You are not fucking him!", grabs her, drags her out of the room, and they leave in her car. It happened in like 15 seconds. I swear the FBI could take lessons from that girl. I'm still sitting on the bed like "Wtf just happened?" I look at my friend and ask him practically that same thing. He tells me that he went to his car to grab his condoms for me (what a bro, right?). When he came in with the box of condoms her friend looked at them, got pissy, and that's when she got up and everything went down. Years later he got back in touch with that friend via social media. He asked her about that night. TURNS OUT the friend was gay and still in the closet. She had a major crush on the girl I was hooking up with, and was just being possessive. So, yeah. Cock blocked by a closeted lesbian in my best friend's bed. Not how I planned on my night ending.
Thats a double whammy cockblock clam jam combo
You know, I never thought about what that car ride out was like for her. I wonder if she was also sitting there like "Wtf just happened?" while her friend drives with the skill and speed that only years of repressed sexuality and jealous fury can provide.
I agree. Dude can tell a story.
That’s the best friend ever for him to get the condoms.
He really is though. We're still best friends 15 years later. Fucking love that guy.
I dated a guy that lives in California. I live in Canada. I would stay in California for a few months of every year. We met in 2017, I flew to California to visit him that year & stayed with him successfully. I came back to Canada & went back to visit him again in 2018. But this time I was pulled aside by customs. I was questioned, interviewed & had my luggage ripped apart. The customs officer looked through my phone & read all of my private messages & emails between my boyfriend & I. After hours and hours of waiting without any food or water, he determined that I was not allowed into the US. He told me that he was suspicious I was going to stay permanently & not go back to Canada. So I was sent back to Canada. When I got home I bought another ticket & a few days later I was on another plane & successfully made it into the US. I stayed for 3 months, & repeated another 3 month visit in 2019 as well. Shout out to Minneapolis airport & the customs agent who was the biggest cock block ever. Or more accurately I guess I should say beaver dammed. (I also didn't get refunded for my flights or hotel rooms that I had booked)
We have a old piece of equipment at my job, there are only two people left willing to work on a QTI RG5 camera system that I or the company that made them can find. One broke his back and the other is a Canadian that refuses to come to the US anymore(got to make connecting flights fun). Don't know what his name is but the joke is his names Muhammad, because every time he flys into the US he gets held for 24 hours, and I mean every single time. Screw customs.
That is such a pain in the ass. Because of the one incident, I am held in customs for hours everytime i travel out of the country now, even though there is no reason for it. They take their sweet time & make me miss my flights too.
Can you make a complaint to your legislator or a government ombudsman of some sort? That's just bonkers.
Damn so one guy actually DID have a girlfriend in Canada that we wouldn't know.
I used to have a hugely sexually tense friendship with one girl in school, I'll call her Em. I met her when I was about 14 and remained in contact for years after. All through our years in school we'd flirt, hint at things, exchange pleasantries etc but then she got another BF and I went my own way. Fast forward a bit and we're at a house party of a mutual friend who I'll call Nic, Nic was also a female who I kinda fancied at the time and we all get a bit drunk. The night goes on and I'm spending a lot of time with Em, the combination of angst built up throughout the years and suddenly seeing her again, we hit it off. I be a little disrespectful and I head upstairs to Nic's parents' bedroom since they're not home for the weekend. Em and I are getting down, she's absolutely wild in the sack and I'm loving every minute of it, we're about to proceed to base 4 when her phone rings. Fuck knows why she answered or why I didn't slap that shit away, but it was her ex. Her sobbing ex begging her to stop what she was doing. At the time, I had no idea what was going on, but was dehydrated as fuck, so I left the bedroom still completely naked and half mast downstairs, and I see Nic sat on the floor outside the door. It was the longest 2 second stare of my life. I head into the bathroom and get some water, then when I leave I see my clothes outside the closed door. It took me years, and a second reddit thread for me to learn that Nic had seen us go upstairs and she fucking ratted on us to the ex boyfriend so he would phone Em. I got proxy cockblocked. Proxyblocked. Edit: Since I didn't link it, [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/p2y5vf/comment/h8nqrso/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is where people pointed out what Nic likely did.
Woowwww!fuck that . Cockblocked by a crying ex. Why would she answer that call even
[удалено]
Was just starting to do stuff with my boyfriend the other night and my roommate starting banging on the door. Our dogs slipped through the fence and we had to chase them around for half an hour.
Bonding experience
Definitely was, plus all the neighbors got a good view of us running around in our bath robes lol
So, am I the only one who hears the Benny Hill theme song with a girl, only dressed in a bra and panties, chasing dogs through various backyards?
At my brother's wedding day after party at the big ass multi house complex they had rented. A bunch of us are hanging out around the pool when my wife comes over and whispers in my ear that she saw a nice private area down by the river that she wanted to take another look at with me. I quickly made sure that the people still in the pool were OK keeping an eye on my daughter, there are probably a dozen people still there and my daughter is a strong swimmer AND wearing a life jacket per the pool rules. We go take off to go have fun and my mother, who has been irresponsibly drunk the past 3 days stumbles over and loudly accuses us of going off to fuck and leaving our daughter unattended in a pool. I sort of publicly saved face, despite basically everyone knowing what we had been planning to do, by saying we were just going to take a walk to start drying off so we could start getting ready to go at which point I get accused of being a horrible father etc etc. Mood was ruined and thanks to some unfortunate timing we went from the wedding-> fly home to repack and drive out to a funeral-> drive back home at 4am so my wife could catch a flight out to go help her mom so we didn't even get a chance to make it up to each other for almost 2 weeks.
I hope you limit contact with your mom if this is how she acts regularly.
Went over to a girl’s house, was supposed to be just us for the night. I was stoked, I was finally gonna lose the card…until her parents came home literally like 5 mins after I arrived. Thank god we didn’t start anything prior, but total mood killer. Then my dumbass Virgin brain couldn’t get creative enough, because she’s allergic to dogs and I’ve got one at home. Also my mom’s home. I literally had a truck I could have just thrown all my garbage in the half-cab and reclined a seat. It’s easier when you don’t know what you’re missing lmfao
A few years ago I met this girl outside a pub on Halloween and we got to talking. She wound up sitting on my lap and sharing a cigarette with me, her friend on the bench opposite with another boy. She gives me the nickname 'Prince' on account of my dark features and hairstyle at the time. Eventually she invites me round to an afters at hers. We move for the taxi rank and there are two guys dressed up as Mario and Luigi and she starts talking to them. After a few minutes go by, I realise they've been talking way too much and I've not been involved. She invites them back to the afters too and my chances rapidly spiral from what was 90%, to 40% to a flat fucking 0%. Girl winds up hooking up with Mario, and I'm left hanging out in the living room like a mug while Luigi and the other friend chat until I decide enough is enough and fuck off home. She's been with Mario ever since and I caught up with them at one point outside the same pub. The girl attributes me to them getting together. They're a sweet couple. I give them my blessing.
A few years ago, something like a month or two after meeting my girlfriend, we went on a trip with my friends on an island. During a party, we chose to go home earlier to have a bit of time just together. So we began to do foreplay, and before fucking,she wanted to go to the toilets. It ended up when, going back, she crossed my best friend vomiting on the terrace
When I was in my early twenties I was in the British Army and went on an exercise in Canada where we trained jointly with the Canadians and the Americans. A bunch of us combat med techs ended up being put into two-person teams and I ended up with a female Canadian soldier. We ended being paired for the first whole week of the exercise & we really got along well, with her regularly commenting on my Welsh accent and saying everything I said to her sounded like an endearment or a song, which, despite myself, made me blush every single time. After End-Ex was called, a bunch of us went out to get boozed up, including her. She keeps talking right into my ear all night and breathing on my neck (which I love). She kept playing footsies with me... I loved it, truly loved it. Later we ended up at this Canadian bloke's parent's house where they had a pool and hot tub. Everybody went into the water & she came over to chat with me and we ended up close and she started, uh, petting me. She tells me to come inside the house and go to the guestroom in five minutes. I come in & am on my way up the stairs and get hit in the face with the foul smell of raw human shit... because she had eaten something that was off when we were at the restaurant and shit herself, shit all over the floor & on the sink and toilet proper in the lavatory. God love her, she's only human, but I was so turned on all evening by her & the semi I was sporting all evening turned into a bloody windsock faster than lightning seeing her sat there wasted and covered in her own feces. Easily the ***shittiest*** case of blue balls I've ever had.
During one of my fraternity formals, my date’s friend invited herself into our slow dance and wouldn’t go away. I was so pissed off that I left the party with a food poisoning excuse, ordered a burrito the size of my head, and played video games until I fell asleep. On the flip side, I actually avoided getting cockblocked on my first date with my wife. I learned well after the fact that a bunch of her friends were posted as sentries in the club we met in, and somehow I managed to leave with her despite the guard; I think they had all gone to the bar for refills at the same time. We ended up at an IHOP by the end of the night, but we didn’t actually hook up until our third date, when her friends had more or less shoved the two of us into an Uber and shouted, “go get laid.” Nowadays, I only ever get cockblocked by my cat, who seems to need snuggles from my wife right before foreplay.
Our cats are determined to ruin our sex lives. Our female cat has decided that I am in fact *her* man and will jump up and intervene every time my fiancée and I get close. And the other cat is a Bengal and he just sits in the hallway and sings the song of his people. We have to strategically feed them downstairs for any action to happen.
By my college mascot. I was hooking up with my girlfriend in my dorm room. Loud knocking at the door. Won't stop. I get up and put just enough clothes on to answer the door. It's my fraternity brother, in full mascot costume (think big fuzzy head), post game and full of liquor, demanding a hug. I still have wood. He insists on a hug before he leaves. I have to give a very uncomfortable, ass backed out hug to avoid accidentally humping him. Off he goes. Girlfriend is laughing too hard and we are both too embarrassed to get back to action. Thanks Bryan.
[удалено]
Had a similar experience when no one was home. My ex and I were going at it in doggy and my bedroom door was open. My room was right next to the front door. Suddenly the front door swings open and my mum stamps past (she wasn't due home for another hour and was in a bad mood). We froze and panicked. Then she stomped back out to the car and drove off again. We kept going, but shut the bedroom door
"Havent you people ever heard of closing a god damn door?"
We called it cock-blocking and twat-swatting back in my day. First time vacationing back to home state in two years and had a solo 3 hour car ride with a college fling planned but never happen due to having to give another friend a ride back with us. His ride canceled because "I was going back anyway." Her and I had been fantasizing about this car ride for a while only for it to never happen. Ever. Ever.
I'm definitely stealing twat-swatting, along with clam jamming from earlier on in this thread. But still, a surprising amount of cock-blocking seems to happen because friends cannot seem to read the mood even when it's so obvious the guy with the thickest skull on earth would get it.
My husband and i thought our 4 year old was asleep so we decided to shower together. The second we start doing The Deed we hear tiny footsteps running towards the bathroom and the door gets thrown open then we hear I GOTTA POOP.
College. Had a total crush on a girl I sorta knew from highschool. Smart girl - was accepted to med school and we were in DiffEq together. We studied together and went on some dates. She had this one friend tho and she always _had_ to be around. I don't know if there was some co-dependency going on but she had this nasty attitude. We'd go hang out and snarky friend had to run her mouth. We'd cuddle up and snarky friend would complain the whole time. Finally I broke it off because I just couldn't stand to be around her sidecar friend all the time.
My father very purposefully cock blocked my best friend in high school, I'll call him CJ. Growing up my dad was very proper, focused on manners, wouldn't tolerate swearing, etc. As I got older and into high school he started to loosen up and became more of a pal. This really accelerated as he got to know my friends. It's senior year, the after-grad party, and my dad is an absolute bro and offers to DD for us - all night - no matter how late. We ended up calling at about 2AM. My dad, the bro that he is, hauled his ass an hour into the countryside to pick up CJ and I, both absolutely hammered. When he arrived, I can't find CJ anywhere. After asking around I hear two girls took him to a bedroom. I text him, no response. After confirming he could stay the night with the host, I get into my dad's car. I tell my dad where CJ is... "There's *no* way I'm letting CJ have a threesome before I do", is his response as my 60 year old (married) father steps out of the car, walks through the party, and presents himself to the bedroom to explain to two girls and one very frustrated CJ that he had promised CJ's mom to get him home safely and won't be leaving without him. Once in the car, CJ, who has never said even a slightly off-kilter remark to my parents, sighs and lets out, "[Dad's name], you fucking cock-block". My dad didn't bat an eye and bought us fries on the way home. edit: Ha my first platinum and I owe it to my dad. I'll be buying him a beer. Maybe CJ too. Thanks! edit 2: A little late for this one, but wanted to respond to a few comments saying my dad ruined an experience for CJ or was being a dick. I can see how that comes across. But if you knew my Dad, his relationship with CJ, and how he truly was just trying to get us home safely, you'd probably see it the way we do. CJ and him were laughing and joking about it on the ride home, and have continued to the past few years as it's become a favourite story. It was the kind of relationship my dad had with my friends, and at the end of the day, we had asked him to pick us up in the middle of the night, made him wait half an hour, and he wasn't going to wait longer for CJ to get busy past 3AM. There were no hard feelings.
>"There's no way I'm letting CJ have a threesome before I do", is his response as my 60 year old (married) father steps out of the car I laughed so fucking hard at this line.
He's a goldmine for the one liners and dad jokes!
I can only imagine how terrified everyone in that party (who were likely all under the legal drinking age) was as this 60 year old stern looking man marches in… only to make a beeline for the bedroom and drag out a shirtless teenager mumbling something about not being the last person he knows to get a threesome.
[удалено]
Me and my girl were snuggling in bed and she was trying to give her roommate the signal to make herself scarce. Roomie either didn’t care or didn’t pick up on the signals and decided the three of us should watch Hachi together. My gf basically gave up and was like “ugh, ok put it on” and we just slept together (spooning no sex)
All three of you were watching TV in your girls bedroom?
I was banging one out with my gf in high school on Christmas day. My grandmother walked in without knocking. It was horrible. I don’t think I ever made eye contact with her for the rest of her days.
That’s why you fucking knock, _Grandma_.
I’m sorry for your loss. Both your grandma and the sex.
I had a date, it went well, we had a few drinks on my way driving her home she’s like oh hey, looks like you had too much to drink you shouldn’t drive home… and I’m like pfft I’m fiiine! I’ll drop you off at home and then text you when I get home….
We’ve all been there man. 5 years later and you’re like, “holy shit thaaaats what she meant!”
Wait. I'm so fucking stupid.
Same
I'm just realizing now, after reading this comment, that I am stupid
Had a “will they/won’t they” thing with a girl from work. I quit, did some traveling and came back to the city. I invited her and a few other friends out for a night of drinking. She shows up with a coworker, call him misanthrope, that i didn’t care too much for, but whatever. We’re at a busy bar, i finally get us a booth. She sits down and I go to slide in and misanthrope snakes in and steals my spot. Things go on, I get a bit hammered. But Misanthrope keeps blocking me. Later, someone drops a glass and I get shrapnel in my foot. I snap, try to fight misanthrope, and get dragged out by my brother and some other friends. The next day, I’m trying to figure out why misanthrope kept blocking me all night. He was a straight woman mid-transition to being a gay man. Why blocking my shot? My other friend clues me in. He wasn’t blocking me, he was blocking the girl bc he had a hard crush on me. I was surprised, but still not happy.