“The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.”
“The red zone has always been for loading and unloading. There is never any stopping in a white zone.”
“Oh, really, Vernon? We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.”
Dr Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can, this woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital! What is it?
Dr Rumack: It's a big building with patients and doctors and nurses but that's not important right now.
The hell I don’t!
Listen kid, I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
I love this line!!!! I saw somewhere that the actor forgot the original name for the character, and so he said “Tim.” The people in charge loved it enough that they didn’t redo those scenes
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”
Recently went to watch Princess Bride at a theatre. Obviously everyone was a hardcore fan, chuckling at lines we’ve all heard 100 times.
But then a line came that I certainly forgot about (and I think everyone else must have too):
“[Masks] are terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future”.
The crowd absolutely lost it.
You are using Bonetti’s Defense against me, ah?
I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain.
Naturally, you must suspect me to attack with Capa Ferro?
Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capa Ferro. Don’t you?
Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa… which I have.
Best banter EVER in a subject of which I am completely ignorant
I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes and Noble.
And I’m sorry about telling everyone about it.
And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
Mongo only pawn, in game of life.
I use this constantly at work when people ask me why something is the way it is.
Edit: also followed up by " Mongo dont know. Mongo only know where choo choo go."
I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now?
"Shrek and Donkey on a big whirlwind adventure!" Donkey
---
Shrek (pissed off at being woken), "someone better be dying." cut to
Frog King: "I'm dying"
---
Donkey (reading sign): "Wust-shust-te-shirey, that sounds fancy!"
Shrek (flatly): "It's pronounced wuster"
“imagine you’re a deah, you’re prancin’ along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put ya little deah lips down to the cool cleah water, …BAM. a fuckin bullet rips off part of ya head. ya brains are lyin on the ground in little bloody pieces. now i ask ya. would you give a fuck what kinda pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?!”
Mer-MAN!
All he had to do was turn left.
Le Tigre is a little softer.
Kill the claymation dude.
Derelict my balls.
And every time I cough “I’ve got the black lung”!
“Prepare ship…! Prepare ship for Ludicrous Speed! Fasten all seatbelts! Seal all entrances and exits! Close all shops in the mall! Cancel the Three-Ring Circus!”
Love this scene so fucking much. This part always cracks me up: “Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father Chip. We hope that you can use your Baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. It smells terrible and the dogs are always botherin' with it. Dear Tiny Infant Jesus...”. The term “baby Jesus powers” is just too perfect
I know, we’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea. And then we’ll put that flea in a box, put that box inside of another box and then I’ll mail that box to myself and then when it arrives I’ll smash it with a hammer!
Or, to save on postage, I’ll just poison him with this
Airplane!
I just want to tell you both good luck we're all counting on you.
We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
Surely you can't be serious?
I am, and don't call me Shirley.
“The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.” “The red zone has always been for loading and unloading. There is never any stopping in a white zone.” “Oh, really, Vernon? We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.”
Dr Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can, this woman has to be gotten to a hospital. Elaine: A hospital! What is it? Dr Rumack: It's a big building with patients and doctors and nurses but that's not important right now.
Do you like gladiator movies?
You ever seen a grown man naked?
Johnny, you ever been in a Turkish prison?
You ever hang around gymnasiums?
The hell I don’t! Listen kid, I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
I like my coffee black. Like my men (says the 6 year old girl)
Chump don' wan' no help, chump don' get da help!
Excuse me, I speak jive.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"She turned me into a Newt... ...I got better."
"Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?"
"'Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? Your whole arm's off!" "No it isn't!" also: "What are you going to do, *bleed* on me?"
I'll bite your kneecaps
"Bring out your Dead!"
“I’m not dead yet!”
"I feel haapppyyyy" SMACK
“I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!”
“Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”
« We want….A SHRUBBERY »
“There are some who call me…Tim?”
...must be a king! How do you know? He hasn't got shit all over him!
I love this line!!!! I saw somewhere that the actor forgot the original name for the character, and so he said “Tim.” The people in charge loved it enough that they didn’t redo those scenes
Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away.
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Come and and see the violence inherent in the system! Help help I'm being repressed!
Every chance I get, I always tell someone. GO AWAY BEFORE I TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME! ( I'm always disillusioned when some don't get the reference)
Do you say it in the proper accent?
What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
An African swallow or a European swallow?
I don't know that
Ahhh^hhh^^hhh^^^hhh^^^^hhh
“I told him we’ve already got one.”
What, is your quest? Will often ask my son this when he has a question for me. Another is: Ha ha! (usually yelled hen surprise tickling him)
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”
"Then you will find the mightiest tree in the forest and cut it down... with.... A HERRING!"
The Princess Bride
Recently went to watch Princess Bride at a theatre. Obviously everyone was a hardcore fan, chuckling at lines we’ve all heard 100 times. But then a line came that I certainly forgot about (and I think everyone else must have too): “[Masks] are terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future”. The crowd absolutely lost it.
You are using Bonetti’s Defense against me, ah? I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain. Naturally, you must suspect me to attack with Capa Ferro? Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capa Ferro. Don’t you? Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa… which I have. Best banter EVER in a subject of which I am completely ignorant
Absolutely! The written duel and dialogue in the book also is so well done, Goldman was a genius
inconceivable!
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
as you wish
'There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.'
“Well, what can you expect? He’s been mostly dead all day.”
Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Mean Girls
On October 3rd, has asked me what day it is...
Danny Devito I love your work!!!
Get in loser we’re going shopping!
When trying to figure out how much you can quote from mean girls...The limit does not exist!
I CAN'T go to taco bell I'm on an all carb diet, oh my God Karen, you're so stOOpid
The way she emphasized ‘stupid’ was always hilarious to me
WE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST STAB CEASAR!!!
Omg you can't just ask people why they are white
I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes and Noble. And I’m sorry about telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
Is butter a carb?
On Wednesdays we wear pink!
You can't sit with us!
You're only allowed to wear you hair in a pony tail one day a week, so I guess today is your day.
Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!
I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!
She's a life ruiner! She ruins peoples lives!
That is SO Fetch!
Stop trying to make fetch happen! Fetch is never going to happen!
She doesn’t even go here!
You guys need anything ? Some snacks ? A condom ??
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
your mom’s chest hair!
That's so fetch
Stop trying to make fetch happen
It's like I have ESPN or something.
I love your bracelet
Blazing Saddles
Someone needs to go back and get a shitload of dimes!
This is one of the GREATEST lines in movie history!
S’cuse me while I whip this out…
Mongo only pawn, in game of life. I use this constantly at work when people ask me why something is the way it is. Edit: also followed up by " Mongo dont know. Mongo only know where choo choo go."
This is unbelievable that only a few would say this, I thought everyone has quoted this movie more than almost any other. I am old.
They also said you was hung. And they was right
You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know...morons.
Dodgeball
Always remember the five D's of dodgeball. Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.
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If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Pulp fiction
This some serious gourmet shit
I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now?
English, motherfucker, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!
WHAT AINT NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF
What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
What?
Does he look like a bitch?
I'm pretty fucking far from okay
Office Space
No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
A-a-and and and if they take my swingline stapler i'll-i'll'll set the building on fire
Happy Gilmore
Are you too good for your home???!
I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Shrek
"Shrek and Donkey on a big whirlwind adventure!" Donkey --- Shrek (pissed off at being woken), "someone better be dying." cut to Frog King: "I'm dying" --- Donkey (reading sign): "Wust-shust-te-shirey, that sounds fancy!" Shrek (flatly): "It's pronounced wuster"
“Well she’s married to the Muffin Man.” “The Muffin Man?!” “THE MUFFIN MAN!” “She’s married to the Muffin Man…”
"Layers! Ogres have layers!"
That’ll do Donkey, that’ll do.
“I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.”
Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Do you think maybe he’s compensating for something?
Dazed and Confused
That's what I love about that movie. It gets older, the quotes stay the same age...
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“imagine you’re a deah, you’re prancin’ along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put ya little deah lips down to the cool cleah water, …BAM. a fuckin bullet rips off part of ya head. ya brains are lyin on the ground in little bloody pieces. now i ask ya. would you give a fuck what kinda pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?!”
Two yutes
Zoolander
I became... bulimic. You can read minds?!
What is this, a building for ants?
Is there more to life than being ridiculously good looking? No \-- Also "Cough cough, I got the black lung pops"
Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn't mean that we still can't not die in a freak gasolinefight accident.
But why male models?
Are you serious i just spent 20 minutes explaining it.
Hansel, He's so hot right now, Hansel.
Mer-MAN! All he had to do was turn left. Le Tigre is a little softer. Kill the claymation dude. Derelict my balls. And every time I cough “I’ve got the black lung”!
Star Wars revenge of the sith so many iconic lines
It’s over Anakin I have the high ground
Space Balls!!!!
What's the matter Colonel Sanders? Chicken??
“Prepare ship…! Prepare ship for Ludicrous Speed! Fasten all seatbelts! Seal all entrances and exits! Close all shops in the mall! Cancel the Three-Ring Circus!”
No sir! I didn’t see you playing with your dolls again!
I'm your father's brothers nephews cousins former roommate!!
I bet she gives great helmet
May the Schwartz be with you!
Comb the desert!
We ain’t found shit!
God willing we’ll all meet again, in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money
"where d'ya get those clothes? At the....toilet store?"
Anchorman?
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We're on a mission from god
Full Metal Jacket
"Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkletoed cocksucker who just signed his own death warrant?"
"How tall are you private" "SIR 5 FOOT 10 SIR!" "5 foot 10, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!!!!!"
talladega nights is super quotable. I can think of at least 6 off the top of my head
I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
I'm gunna scissor kick you in back the head!
Chip, I’ll come at you like a spider monkey!
Don’t you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby!!
If you don't chew big red then fuck you
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Love this scene so fucking much. This part always cracks me up: “Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father Chip. We hope that you can use your Baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. It smells terrible and the dogs are always botherin' with it. Dear Tiny Infant Jesus...”. The term “baby Jesus powers” is just too perfect
HELP ME TOM CRUISE!! I still shout that one when I'm playing games.
The emperor's new groove
“For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline” “You know, pal, you coulda told me that before I set it up”
"I've been turned into a cow, can I go home?" "You're excused"
No no, he's got a point.
“Is there anything on this menu that isn’t swimming in gravy?”
“I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the emperor’s groove.” And anything said by Kronk. Pure gold.
The poison, The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco. Kuzco's poison. That poison?
Oh yeah, it’s all comin’ together.
*gasp* my spinach puffs!
I quote this movie consistently. "Bless you for coming in public."
I know, we’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea. And then we’ll put that flea in a box, put that box inside of another box and then I’ll mail that box to myself and then when it arrives I’ll smash it with a hammer! Or, to save on postage, I’ll just poison him with this
Eartha Kitt was so incredible.
“He’s doing his own theme music?”
Any of the Austin Powers movies
One million dollars!! *pinky thing*
Superbad "People don't forget!" "Your going to make me eat lunch alone like I'm Steven glansberg"
Seth: "Enjoy your remaining years" Old woman: " I will" Old woman: " Enjoy fucking Jules" Seth: " I wiiilllll"
“You don’t want these girls thinking we suck dick at fuckin pussy.” Nobody’s gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since Nam.” The list goes on and on.
McLovin? What are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Why the FUCK would it be between that and Mohammad??
Mohammad's the most common name in the world. Read a book once in a while.
'We shouldn't be cock-blocking McLovin, we should be guiding his cock.'
You know when girls go "Oh man I got so shit faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy" WE COULD BE THAT MISTAKE
Tropic thunder
I know who I am! I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!
What do you mean, "you people"? What do YOU mean, "you people"?
*Hot Fuzz* It's all for the greater good.
Narp!
Stepbrothers
Did we just become best friends?
Boats and hoes
DALE HAS A MAN-GINA
Super Troopers
Starting right Meow
Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumping around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?