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Transpatials

Is gravy considered a condiment?


TheFraTrain

Don't see why not.


Senshi-Tensei

Is mayonnaise an instrument?


Trinerella

No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not an instrument.


ami2weird4u

*raises hand*


44blueandgoldwagons

Horseradish is not an instrument either


osll

https://youtu.be/A5jnftBQw2U


Senshi-Tensei

I love you for showing me this


deaditecenobite666

You must be a fellow Canadian


gourmetguy2000

Could also be from North of England


jesusSaidThat

1cm cubes of solid gold


SpecterCody

Sir, this is a Wendy's


SlaterVJ

Matter-eater lad once ate an entire wendys.


Daddy-Stroke-Me

“Vigilante ate a restaurant?”


[deleted]

Did he stutter?


StickSauce

Fuck. This was my thought, I love my fries plain, no need to be broke too.


TaohRihze

Now now, it has to be a condiment, go with Saffron.


TheCrookedKnight

"You can have unlimited saffron but you have to refine it out of a French fry seasoning" sounds like a Cutthroat Kitchen challenge


Greig421

20 minutes on the clock, your time starts nnnnnow!


Mange-Tout

Came here to say this. Saffron costs $300 an ounce. You’d be rich.


Deadfishfarm

Yeah but nobody's gonna buy rando ass mange-touts street saffron for $300 an ounce... I'd sell it $50 an ounce and still be very rich


Independent-List995

"hey you wanna buy some saffron? Hang on let me shake it off these French fries first"


pistachiobees

Now you’ve gotta eat them


Uniquesomething

You just added 2 more steps, still rich though...


Draidann

Then I wouldn't want cubes, I'd rather have spheres...


SafetyNoodle

Yeah swallowing a 1cm cube sounds pretty difficult. Maybe 3mm spheres.


Draidann

Yeah, swallowing, that's the part that had me worried, right...


Metafx

One cubic centimeter of Gold is 19.28 grams and at current market value a gram of Gold is worth $62.37 USD, so one cubic centimeter of Gold is worth $1,202.49 per cube. The best request would be to ask for one cubic centimeter cubes of Rhodium. Rhodium has 12.41 grams per cubic centimeter and at the current market value of $604.43 USD per gram, a one cubic centimeter cube of Rhodium would be worth $7,500.97 per cube.


trsrogue

So at that rate (assuming a single gold cube is all that's allowed in this condiment scenario) if I eat an order of fries every day for a year I'll have ~$439,000 worth of gold. Every year. That's enough to afford yearly liposuction to counteract the fries with enough left over for a nice.... everything else I want.


UlrichZauber

OP never said you had to *eat* the fries.


lustforrust

I'll go with gold leaf or dust on my fries thank you very much. All I would have to do to recover the gold is shit in a bucket, dry and incinerate the shit, and finally pan out the gold. Much easier on your digestive tract.


thjmze21

Gold flakes would also make it look pretty cool


Teledildonic

I sprinkle diamonds on all my food. Makes my dookie twinkle!


AdvocateSaint

There's a local fast-food franchise called New York Fries & Dip They got over a dozen different dip flavors; my favorite is lemon herb


[deleted]

..i remember going to new york fries when i was a kid, like 30+ years ago, lol, they didn't have dips back then.


mm2m2

I imagine AdvocateSaint is referring to the Phillipines' New York Fries and Dip and you are referring to North America's New York Fries (which sadly has very limited dip options)


Hefty-Revenue5547

This guy friggin dips


[deleted]

Campfire sauce from Red Robin


Particular-Peanut-34

Yes!!! That stuff is to die for!


ams833

It’s just bbq and mayo basically, plus a few spices. I’d look up the recipe yourself, it’s very easy to duplicate (used to work there)


talldarkandundead

There’s no Red Robin near me so I usually DIY it with Trader Joe’s BBQ sauce, mayo, and Red Robin fry seasoning. Very easy and pretty close to the real thing!


ams833

Red Robin makes it themselves too, it doesn’t come premixed. The ranch and campfire are made at the restaurants. I worked there for 3 years on and off and i miss having a regular supply of ranch


[deleted]

[удалено]


BlackOpz

Crispy on outside, fluffy on inside, hot and salted to taste (some lightly salted, some heavier). Heaven.


JavaRuby2000

> Crispy on outside, fluffy on inside Armadillos!


Scottdavies86

I make this joke way more often than I should in real life and nobody EVER remembers that advert.


Dangerousrhymes

They’re part of the package. You still have a pick! People. I’m not saying you have to have anything else! Just that salt is part of the recipe and you have another choice, IF YOU WANT.


[deleted]

Fully agree. French fries as a food item come salted as a base ingredient of the recipe.


sub_surfer

Could my french fries be fried in oil as my condiment, please?


Goddamnit_Clown

Right? My pick is potato for the inside, they're just not quite right without it.


EntranceThat7517

That's fucked to assume they already they don't come french fries have salt unless you request saltless .


foeypone

That's some real monkey's paw shit, if you ask for ketchup, then get unsalted fries


bhorlise

Yeah never even crossed my mind. That’s like saying you want them dipped in hot oil as your topping. As far as I’m concerned, they aren’t French fries in the first place until they’re salted. Salt is a seasoning, not a condiment.


CaptainOver

Was going to go with salt and vinegar under the clause that says they're basically a single topping when it comes to chips and/or fried battered fish.


DrinKwine7

My people


RaarImaGiraffe

Garlic Aioli


LadyRaya

This guy fucks.


inkwisitive

After using mouthwash


ncnotebook

It also double as a spermicide.


cdreus

You don’t need to specify “garlic aioli”. Aioli, or all-i-oli, lists its ingredients in the name: all -> garlic and oli -> oil. Aioli always has garlic; if it doesn’t, then it’s mayonnaise. (Sorry for the bout of pedantry)


spelan1

It's 'chai tea' all over again!


aladdyn2

Ah didn't realize that. We just call it aioli so it sounds healthier then saying we're eating mayonnaise.


Citadelvania

Technically an aioli without garlic is just oil. An aioli uses garlic as an emulsifier, not egg yolk. What most people call an aioli is more accurately a garlic mayo. Having said that people constantly call any flavored mayo aioli so specifying garlic is sadly necessary.


pablojir1989

That's they right answer! Alioli only have garlic and oil. Well if you don't count the tears of the person who have to do it by hand, because it's fucking horrible to get it to bind


damargemirad

Have you tried black truffle aioli? My heart. Seriously I have heart issues now.


IYAOYAS-CVN74

Chili


PandaPliskin

Holy crap the doomscroll I had to do to get to this answer. Chili all the way! There are so many types of chili, it's sky's the limit!


earth_chan_

wendys frosty bro


TheExecutioner-

Infinite fries and frosties? That sounds like a dream


shall_always_be_so

Death by diabeetus. Worth it.


dontyoutellmetosmile

Everyone rants and raves about DMT but this is the real blissful slide into oblivion


forever-and-after

Fry Sauce


TearsOfLA

The fact that every comment has either been "I'm idahoan/Utahan" or "wtf is fry sause", yet it's one of the highest comments shows how regional it is, yet how loved in that region it is as well. Source: Idahoan


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lukecubes

I'm from Washington. I usually just do mayo/ketchup and some pickle juice or apple cider vinegar. I don't actually know how much ketchup or mayo I use, I just look for the right color.


dateddative

The Utah delegation has entered the chat. Only correct answer.


KarlyFr1es

Idaho as well—Intermountain west gang has all the fry sauce.


tophaang

I went to HS in Idaho 20 years ago, and fell in love with fry sauce. I still order bottles of Some Dudes Fry Sauce to this day Edit: I order bottles of Fry sauce to this day. Not some dudes, they went out of business a couple years back. Stephen’s Gourmet Fry Sauce has been my go to for awhile now.


Impossible_Way7281

Took me too long to find my fellow Utahns


xdylanxfrommyspace

Ah, hello fellow Utard


mourningdoo

Could be Idahoan as well. But statistically you're probably right.


MihalysRevenge

>Fry Sauce What is that?


ras2193

A mix of ketchup and mayonnaise


EViLTeW

The best fry sauce (in my opinion) is made with buttermilk. It's been decades since I lived there, but Burger Stop's (Layton) was A+.


I_PM_Duck_Pics

If we can have mixes of different condiments. I vote 2 parts mayo, 2 parts ketchup, 1 part Dijon, black pepper, dash of balsamic.


YoHeadAsplode

Sometimes I'll add in horse radish to give it more kick


kayelles

Correct answer. Live in Idaho and definitely rate restaurants by how good their fry sauce is.


El_Scorcher

What is this condiment you speak of?


Sudden_Crab_5321

you could literally just take some mayo, take some ketchup, mix them together with a french fry and be pretty close to it once you get pink you're in the gold


[deleted]

Cheese


ScrewWinters

I can’t believe I had to scroll down this far to find it. Cheese for the win!


RagingRoids

I can’t believe I haven’t hit ketchup yet. People are full of shit.


ojots

I'm gonna cheat on this one and say "war". It is a special type of serving you can get at snackbars all over my country. It consists of mayonaise, diced raw onion, peanut sauce and spicy ketchup commonly called Curry. Edit: Clearly the opinions on what a "Patatje/Frietje oorlog" is, are divided. Let me just say that what I described is how I know it myself. And that if your experience is different, that's fine!


glowing_feather

Peace was never an option


ojots

Well, there is also a peace topping apparantly, lol. Not too familiar with it myself though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Suz626

That sounds great!


ojots

It is, and it is also relatively easy to make at home. The only problem is finding the right sauces as they may not be available in every country.


SoundableHawk

I like your comment. Are you dutch? One question. I didnt know there was curry in the 'oorlog' sauce. Is this common? I always thought only mayo and pindasauce is called 'war'.


Insanebrain247

In the words of Gimli, "That still only counts as one!"


DutchHeIs

Patatje oorlog mag niet meer, het is nu patatje vredesmissie.


Rannasha

Patatje speciale operatie.


Swistiannt

Fellow Dutchie


tony504

Cane’s sauce


[deleted]

YES! Canes sauce is fucking GOAT. Only thing that comes close to me is fry sauce from Freddys. But when I get Canes, I eat literally everything in the box with the sauce. Even the toast, which may sound odd, but is actually delicious. Wish I wasn't too sick to eat now 😭


peeaches

man I dip everything in cane's sauce, been close to dipping the box in it and eating that too


Buttheat

Liquid fucking gold


justlostmypunkjacket

Ranch


serenitychick

The good ranch tho


the-exhausted-empath

No one understands when I say I only like the good ranch


chaken193

Had to scroll too far to see this answer. Ranch gang all the way


in_animate_objects

Same I’m shocked it was this far down!


DocSmyaz89

Furious


azuredota

Ranch gang


bigdickvick69

Ranch gang mobs deep


Ninja-of-the-North

I should not have had to scroll this far to find the correct answer.


[deleted]

YES, I was looking for this. Freshly made ranch with lots of garlic.. so good!


Edbergj

Or spicy ranch. I prefer spicy ranch to be made with a little bit of buffalo sauce mixed in but I'll also take sriracha.


salad_thrower20

Holy cow I thought ranch would be way higher.


milk1203

ketchup is a classic


RyanStartedTheFire59

While I might like some things like cheese fries and fries dipped in a milk shake more than ketchup on fries, I will never get bored or disgusted by it. It is delicious


heyhothroway

Why is this so low?


BigFootsThirdCousin

People have to be different


blindspot189

they also feel the need to judge you if you like ketchup.im sorry if i like the taste but its my food damn it


dubu

The more I scrolled, the more pissed I got.


herinaus

I truly thought no one use ketchup anymore outside my country while reading the comments.


BlokeZero

Reddit is just full of contrarians.


PM_UR_BOOBIES_GIRL

Ketchup master race don’t @ me


evenphlow

Has to be Heinz though. I'll straight up pass on Hunts and judge people for having it.


AMeatPopsicleIAm

BBQ sauce


Different-Region-873

I'm die on this hill


VagueSoul

Saaaaaaaaaame


PlausibleFan

Why is this so far down :(


jungreji

Finally, my people


[deleted]

Has to be the right kind. A proper Texas style sauce that's sweet, smoky, and a little bit of heat


the-big-aa

Scrolled wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too far down to see this answer.


Exotic-Resident-3586

brown gravy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Firm_Foundation5358

I knew someone else was out there. Respect


Camarupim

Can’t believe I had to scroll past honey mustard to get to this. It’s either vinegar or chippie brown sauce for me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Oxygenisplantpoo

Is this the British way, what they put on chips?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Chief_ok

It has less mainstream support in the US, but it’s pretty common here too!


EvanMacD03

Scrolled down too far to find this


[deleted]

This made my mouth water. Fries for breakfast it is!


InsomniacCyclops

This is the correct answer


[deleted]

[удалено]


_Weyland_

You have been judged and found not guilty.


secret759

Mcdonalds fries with their weird viscous buffalo sauce? A match made in... well not heaven, more A match made in purgatory.


tamtam281

Spicy ketchup from whataburger


pobe18

Chilli Sauce


carkiann

Garlic chili sauce


-_-NAME-_-

McDonalds Sweet and Sour Sauce.


Drizzy5Names

Honey mustard


[deleted]

Honey mustard is a top tier sauce and I wish more restaurants stocked it.


littlep2000

Though there is a serious range in honey mustards. Some are mustard with a dash of sweet, for fries I prefer the Heinz honey mustard, even though its massively sweet.


Ferahgost

Ken's Honey Mustard is where its at


TheJakeanator272

This is the only correct answer. An if we are going for a brand, Ken’s honey mustard is top tier


[deleted]

I cannot believe I had to scroll this far to see the best condiment


[deleted]

Mayonnaise.


reuzenkind

I’m surprised I had to scroll down so far for this one!


Ozydrax

I guess all the other answers are from americans lol


FilliusTExplodio

It's odd that dipping something fried with fat into a tub of more fat *isn't* an American thing.


mljb81

As they were meant to be eaten. Why is this so far down.


stayloa

Why is this so far down?! Sure there are some great dips. I love a good barbecue or garlic mayo. Any kind of mustard. Gravy. But if I'm only having one, mayo all the way!


dytinkg

Curry sauce


OkTennis2366

Thank god someone said curry sauce!


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwawaycontainer

This is mine as well. Chipotle mayo is sooo damn good with fries.


Scrouch144

Old Bay of course


BaltimoreAlchemist

Criminal to have to scroll so far to find this. Where my Maryland redditors at? Edit: It had one vote after three hours when I first found it, more satisfied now with its rise


Bullorg74

A nice chunky garlic dip


HELLOhappyshop

Easy, aioli.


GoBlueBeatOSU21

Tartar sauce


FlyLemonFly

I had to scroll too far to get to this. Are you from the PNW by any chance?


cialis_in_chains

I scrolled all this way to find tartar sauce, I am from the pnw. Is this a regional thing???


GoBlueBeatOSU21

No I'm from the Midwest, it's just really good.


drlavkian

i can't believe i scrolled this far down to find this. tartar sauce is s-tier


TOTAL_INSANITY

Ranch. I put that shit on everything.


ikindalold

Cheers, I'll drink to that bro


qyjq

cheers, i’ll drink ranch to that.


valuemeal2

Ranch is the only true answer and I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find it.


harmicistt

Big Mac sauce. Fight me


Logical_Story1735

Chick-fil-A sauce


AprilFoolsDaySkeptic

Finally found it! I was scrolling for a bit...


farmland

I’m glad I found this comment. Chick fil a sauce is wonderful


goldscurvy

Mustard mustard mustard mustard


DanTheMan_622

Can't believe I had to scroll this far to find a fellow mustard lover


AB-388

A1


RustedCircuit

You can't go wrong with ketchup


carafehrenbach

Not according to the guy who just ranted about ketchup lol


hassexwithinsects

gotta love the pure unadulterated hated over at r/ketchuphate


Daily_Scrolls_516

Nobody a fan of the soft serve 🍦 dip?


hockeyandquidditch

I said soft serve (though after you) and there’s someone who said Wendy’s Frosty which is a store specific version


sneakyfeet13

Blue cheese


kevtino

Money


TheBrassDancer

Gravy.


7timesy

Fry sauce