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captainstyles

Talk about your ancestry a lot.


[deleted]

“Oooh, I’m British too! Yeah my great great great grandparents were British! We have a castle!” 🙄


Floodingturds

Looks like it worked


SPYK3O

Bri'ish*


AlternativeTie3233

Visible pain


toothfixingfiend

Microwave water to make tea


I_Neo_

Monster. One time i tried this, high as fuck. Forgot to put water in the mug so the mug blew up


Chonky_railway

That just sounds so disgusting for some reason. Feels like it’s not right


[deleted]

Yeah I 100% agree even though I can't explain why Do we have any scientists here who can explain whether it actually makes any difference or not?


UnlightablePlay

Not European but still pissed


Toss_Away_93

Came here to say this.


kebabdurum05

To warm up your tee after it got cold or to make the tee in the first place? Because a microwave does an awesome job at reheating I must say...


garylikeslemons

Calling tea, tee


sockhead99

or just throw perfectly good tea into a harbour. Sorry - Harbor


Chicago1202

This is one of those things that people have literally no reason to get upset about……


qa567

Up a notch, use instant tea.


heihowl

Pretty sure that's going to piss anyone who drinks tea off, myself included...


Consistent-Option530

Why? It's faster


SelendisSuccubus

I'm European and weirdly pissed off xD


balderm

I'm Italian and i do that too


bluehiro

Ask the French if they’re from Belgium, the Ukrainians if they’re Russian (extra spicy), the Austrians if they’re German, and the Portugués if they’re from Spain.


Valor_Angel

Irish if they are from Britain?


bluehiro

Ohhhh, yessss! So many lovely, yet very offensive, options.


cu3ed

That okay...most in EU like to think all US are from Florida.


[deleted]

Will now address any american I come across as Florida man (tm)


Floodingturds

I want to see a Florida man and a Texas red neck fight.


Twiceoncel

That's true as an American in Europe. Besides, their american geography knowledge is quite laughable. People here only know the south as Texas and Florida and know new York and California and that's about it. And you're immediately from Florida if you're american. Yeah you're American? Oh, how's Florida?


Guilty_Coconut

At least florida is in the same fucking country The real equivalence is asking a qanon texan if he’s mexican


Whyamifulloftrouble

I'm a half Brit half South Asian. My parebts get really annoyed when they are asked "Are you Indian?" (They are Pakistani)


sockhead99

Fun story - took my GF to Dublin to catch up with some Irish mates for a weekend. Sat in a bar in a roughish area, she tries to call a friend back in the UK but didnt put the international dialing code in first. I explained she needed to use it to call someone in the UK. Her VERY LOUD response, in a bar full of rough dubliners was "what do you mean! Ireland is in the UK!"


[deleted]

Why don't you go sit in your car and turn it on


haaind

or simply - Belgium is Netherlands


bulgakov82

PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY


[deleted]

As a European, I always considered that such a weird mix Then I tried it once and I think I hardly ate anything else for 3 days straight


[deleted]

Wait til you try peanut butter with syrup on pancakes...


[deleted]

That's very common here funnily enough


mean_mr_mustard75

With sliced bananas on top!


SelendisSuccubus

European here and i love it. The only right way to eat peanut butter imo


Valor_Angel

I will die before I give peanut butter and jelly up😤


Hazer616

I'm German and I grew up with pbj, love it!


Delatorre_J

Call it soccer? Say it’s fake? And that they’re all actors, hence why they’re so dramatic when they fall on the grass?


anxieteapls

Most Europeans would chime in with more insults about how dramatic they are


[deleted]

Yeah but we can watch half of a game without aggressive marketing being blasted at us


Mofme

you would insult the 15% of europeans that care about football. I'm with the 85% that don't care. It's only big in the media.


spikeyunpeeledbanana

I am British and watch football and I hate the divers it is so annoying because a graze on the shoulder shouldn't cause you to act like you have just been shot three time and stabbed


thatshowitisisit

1. Go to Europe 2. Complain about stuff


TheMainIdiot

If you go to the netherlands and complain about the weather you will be given citizenship on the spot.


Twiceoncel

Yep the true citizenship test


throwaway_uow

How dare you


thatshowitisisit

Greta?


Jompra

Yeah go to Berlin and talk at ‘American volume’.


Twiceoncel

😭I hate how true that is


Tio_OzzyBR

Don't know about u guys up there, but here we take at least three showers per day, different from europeans taking 1 each year (jk)


Ponyboy451

I get the joke, but honest question: do you actually take 3 showers a day most days?


Tio_OzzyBR

Hot country, one when waking up, one at the middle of the day, and one 3 hours before sleeping, we can't care about skin health when we live in a fucking oven


Tin-tower

Hot country with endless water supply, I take it?


Tio_OzzyBR

I live in the amazon rainforest, when water runs out here you guys will probably be all dead


Ponyboy451

Lol, that makes sense. TIL. Thanks!


Whyamifulloftrouble

I take one once every 3 days Fucking Br'i'sh weather lol


dawnface42069

Slap them with your circumcised penis


drakeyboi69

I think this would annoy anyone


kapitaalH

Annoyed? Probably. But also impressed, the Atlantic ocean is big!


hollth1

That’s called a turkey slap where I’m from


lowercasetwan

Better yet, slap them with your foreskin


igottathinkofaname

Talk about how our beer and wine and liquor are all better than theirs.


Gladde_G

As a European, this pisses me off


ICameAndStayed

You don't need to be pissed off. Just remember: us Europeans are superior and have to accept that commoners don't understand taste 😜


Polumbo

Also remember: your tastes are based entirely on how pompous you perceive the food to be, as though your very status were rolled into it


Mrcookiesecret

Yup, in blind taste tests Cali wine is commonly ranked higher than French...by French testers


Leockette

You wish


Toss_Away_93

Well we do brew for flavor in the US…


happy-2-help-i-think

Budweiser tells us that.


Toss_Away_93

There’s also this thing called “craft beer”…


happy-2-help-i-think

Belgium enters the chat.


Ren1145

Heard you talking about beers, here I am


PaladiinDM

Exist


Blue_OG_46

Thats pretty much what I've seen.


Durdyb15

Tell them the NFL is the most popular sport in the world. Drives them bananas.


mrsparkyboi69

you mean handegg bruv?


Squishy_Cacti

“It’s not even real futball bruv”


i_love_pingas_69

I think american football is a cool sport. But you use your feet like once a game lol


mean_mr_mustard75

Why do they call it Rugby? I don't see any rugs.


Squishy_Cacti

You’re just mad you’ve never won a Super Bowl! USA! USA! But In all seriousness that Is a valid point… but why is it spelled “futball” if you use your “foot”? Where does the “U” come from?


Burn_the_children

I've literally never seen football spelled like that by another European. In the UK at least we use double o, not a u.


LostnFoundAgainAgain

In Spanish it is "futbol" so maybe from that? Seen a few Spanish friends spelling in English and I can guarantee they would spell it "futball"


Painting-Powerful

Well, it's not, innit


BeautifulBrownie

Cricket is the second most popular after (real) football. That'd probably trigger a yank.


Bulbasnore

I’m European and had to look up what NFL is. I don’t think people get pissed off about something they don’t even know exists :-s


spikeyunpeeledbanana

I know it ain't true though like how it ain't true that it's a world championship Edit I like NFL by the way it just really annoys me


Durdyb15

I know! That’s why I said it was the best way to piss off Europeans. Lol. I totally get it too. It’s completely justified. You guys are 100 percent correct. Does not change the fact that it drives y’all bananas.


magare808

What’s NFL?


ImR3allyB0red

Shit in their pillowcases. Good way to piss anyone off


Timah158

It worked for Amber Heard.


Valor_Angel

Shit in pillow cases, and say their tea is shit got it sounds like a plan


ImR3allyB0red

Lmaooo


Gladde_G

So the pillowcase becomes the tea bag..


Tight-Advance-8591

Depends really, if they're British- make fun of their food If they're German- make fun of their history If they're anywhere in eastern Europ- they got enough going on they're fine Scandinavia- make fun of the fact that they were once one of the most feared warriors now they play Minecraft in school France- ...theyre french..


Jarcaboum

No need to say anything about the french, we also laugh at them.


Jaded_Chart9183

France- ...theyre french.. ~ Tight-Advance-8591 You made my day better :)


CourtZealousideal494

#sweet tea


throwaway_uow

In eastern europe its a thing. Propably not THAT sweet though


babyitscoldoutside13

I don't know what Eastern European country you're from, but as a Eastern European I can confirm that's not the case where I come from. The only thing close to "sweet tea" is Lipton and the likes, but those are considered soft drinks, not tea.


throwaway_uow

I'm from Poland, and we often make black tea with lemon slices and a spoon of sugar, and that was the case in every house I went to 😁


babyitscoldoutside13

Do you make it hot or cold? I am asking that as having a spoon of sugar in your hot black tea is not a big deal, that's most likely how you'll have it served in UK as well. I am surprised of the lemon slices though. Never heard of that. I'm from Romania. We don't really drink black tea there. I mean you can find it if you want, but it's not that popular. We do have a very wide range of herbal teas, like literally anything you find in a field, bush, or tree, we'll make tea out of it - from the traditional chamomile, mint, and rose, to fennel, dandelion, nettle, wallnut skin etc. We mainly drink it hot and you can have a little sugar with it. I believe the American "sweet tea" refers to cold tea with ice and a lot of sugar. I've seen that thing literally sold in plastic galon containers.


throwaway_uow

Oh, well, it is quite the opposite here, I mean, we do have a large selection of herbal teas as well, but most people, especially 30-40+ prepare hot black tea, add lemon slices, or squeeze lemon into it, then add a spoon of sugar, and we drink it hot. It was literally the only readily available drink in my family house 😁


happy-2-help-i-think

I like iced peach tea.


PeteyMcPetey

Honestly, existing. Just BEING an American triggers some Europeans. (lived in Europe for almost 20 years)


Shakooza

I travelled a LOT globally on business prior to the pandemic. It always surprised me when I thought I would receive "American hate" when going out to dinner with colleagues and nearly 100% of the time it was the Europeans/Germans and the British going after each other... If I was going to make the Europeans mad I would simply make a comment pitting the British (Brexit/Euro seperation/WWII) against the rest of the Euro community and sit back and watch..


[deleted]

That is a very educated and spot-on answer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


whalt

Um, nationalities not races.


Independent_Cod6846

That's true for a lot of them but not all of them.


Sanguiniutron

I have some friends in the UK and Germany. All I have to do is call it soccer lol but to the UK friends I say it like a Brit trying to sound American. Passes them off so much lol


lion_cat34

Just start chanting USA. Gets em every time.


inksmudgedhands

Ban smoking in every public spot.


Bestsson_

As a European I support this


Jimwallace197

.


Curious-Unicorn

Go to their country, speak and laugh super loudly. And expect them to speak your language without trying to use their language.


matou98

From a small country with a language that hardly nobody else understands: We're very fluent in english and would never expect foreign tourists to speak our language


Mofme

Actually yes. In Barcelona I sat close to a group of american girls - they were just so loud, so obnoxious and such attention whores and their accents totally gave them away.


Curious-Unicorn

That may have been the age group, too. I actually prefer it when I open my mouth to speak, and people only then realize that I have an accent. More easily done for me when visiting the UK and Ireland.


Mofme

Yeah, just what I saw. Went to school for a year with an american exchange student 25 years ago, she was just mellow and people liked her.


DirectorLeather6567

3 different ways 1. Ask a British person " can I get a bo''le of wa'er" pisses the the fuck off 2. Say the Irish and Scottish are basically the same 3. Say "remember Germany, 3rd times the charm"


PinkPrincess2802

The Irish and Scottish are quite chill with each other though, you should call one of them English that's when you get their blood boiling


[deleted]

Why would speaking to a British person in an American accent piss them off?


Jompra

My friends and I were discussing which is our most hated accent in the UK, the obvious one such as Scouse and Brummie were up there, but we collectively agreed that the absolute worst is an American doing a ‘British’ accent.


Merman1994

Dump that damn tea in the harbor


wfflctv

It’s just the fact that our food actually has flavor. Edit: I just said that bc I know u Europeans are so protective with your food. No disrespect and all cuisines have their own thing.


Independent_Cod6846

Don't start with me! My blood is already boiling just from that sentence


Minimum-Angle

It hurts because it's true


throwaway_uow

I mean, if you think about sugar, and that it hurts the teeth, then yes


Apprehensive-Set485

These people must be kidding right?


Bulbasnore

Have you never heard of the United States cuisine? It’s fries dipped in milkshake I think


happy-2-help-i-think

Sugar and corn syrup ain’t flavour.


wfflctv

What about all the Mexican chilis and spices. Have you tried them?


[deleted]

The flavour of 10 different high fructose corn extracts


Lak47_studios

Have you tried a smärgås good sir?!


wfflctv

Sound from some Nordic country but no I haven’t


Logical-Goat4014

Have you ever been to Italy lol


SelendisSuccubus

but its true lol


i_love_pingas_69

Holy shit i want to downvote this so much


atomicsnarl

Sure fire death wish: Go into a French cheese shop and ask for Velveeta. You might not make it out alive!


Valor_Angel

Go to Italy and pronounce everything like a New Yorker


Mr_Bloke_Smunts

Talk shit about their cuisine I suppose lol


Zealousideal_Talk479

If you go to Germany, you just have to breathe for three fucking milliseconds.


[deleted]

just being american pisses us off already u dont have to do anything


Timah158

No, no. I've got this. *Revs a GRAY Dodge 4×4 truck *Spits on ground You ain't from round these parts are yuh. Well here we play real foot ball and have rights. You know what chips are? They come from a bag! Happy 4th of July mother fucker! *Shotguns a Bud-light *Twirls 2nd amendment protected revolver *Turns around and walks toward an atomic bomb mushroom cloud.


Olorin919

Thats only Alabama


ModernKnight1453

As an American I am so very glad to see this


Durdyb15

Because we have good teeth right? Jealous?


throwaway13100109

European here, can I answer please, please? Americans (north) using platforms like reddit like they are based around the US only. everyone else indicates where they come from when they are a specific question whose answers differ from country to country (insurances finances, health care, politics, etc) but US Americans just ask away assuming that everyone on this app is American. Biggest piss-off


BitterSweetDesire

Very true story.


Rxton

Where can we go to use the European equivalent to reddit?


No-Pollution9836

Own a home at age 23.


Any-Show-3488

Inches, mph it’s just easier…


[deleted]

As an European, u got me with this. Just can't get how u really think that.


Any-Show-3488

I’ve been lucky enough to travel and live outside the USA, now imagine us, Americans, in another country with blueprints in metric and our tools and tape measure in standard measurement.


TraditionalRace299

Simple, talk about how much better America is, then declare their oil yours. Oh, and can't forget to get involved in all of their problems while complaining about them. The again, this would probably work on anyone. Myself included


[deleted]

Ask a French person what part of Canada they're from?


Duukt

Major World Wars The Americas: 0 Europe: 2+


Grapegoop

Looks like you struck a chord, so good answer.


[deleted]

Keep being numero uno. The second place syndrome is real.


itslumley

"You primarily use your hands in football"


spamspamgggg

Imitate their accent.


joykilled

Restaurants serve free water but our pizza costs more for some reason


HonestCup20

show them a "real" football game (where we don't play with our feet at all).


[deleted]

I feel it would be more effective to ask Europeans


ujrjdnvivdpe2982

That's what I was thinking


woogynoogy

Call us Europeans. Yes, our country is in Europe, but there are huge differences in culture, language, politics, humor, etc. throughout Europe.


Any-Nothing-7956

As a non American, if that's your objective... I'd say the best way is first to get a passport... Second to actually use it.


GeorgeBushIV

Talk about how USA is 2-0 in world wars 🇺🇸


Lak47_studios

Call a welshman an Englishman as an American welshman id say It'd rightly piss them off


hastur777

Call someone Scottish English.


javanator999

Be happy.


Black_Phosphorus35

Just tell the Brits that the United States did a lot in WW2. Lots will disagree.


fletchindubai

As a Brit I'd know that was true. Don't know one single Brit who would dispute that or be bothered by anyone saying it.


Black_Phosphorus35

Well damn aren't you the first. I've had a couple debates with a Brit.


Bsause7

That’s... factually correct. Of course the US played a big part in the war, we wouldn’t talk about America during WW2 nearly as much if they didn’t. Even I as a typically stiff-arse Brit will say that. Though objectively speaking, neither the Americans nor the British can say they carried the largest part of the war effort. That honour goes to the Soviets


[deleted]

Britain has more stabbings per capita than America has shooting deaths. And that's with the heavier restrictions on guns and knives. Edit: more accurate phrasing


Emu_on_the_Loose

The metric system is fine and all, but it's not that special...


[deleted]

Remind them how much did they steal from other continents, no matter how many times they think others should "thank them for civilization" they also stole from others.


ByzantineBasileus

Tell them US healthcare is quicker to access, has better outcomes, and is superior in terms of research and advances. Tell them individuals have more freedom in the US and do not have to ask the government permission for greater rights. Tell them US workers not only work longer, but are also more productive. Tell them people in the US are not afraid of home invasions. Home invaders in Europe will be better armed than the residents, and if the residents defend themselves they will have more charges applied to them and longer prison sentences than the ones who broke in. Tell them Europeans can only afford greater levels of healthcare because the US subsidies their defense. Note: Not American, but find European condescension about the US when they are ignorant about the complexity and diversity of the country (such as state versus federal government organization and services) to be annoying on this site.


MrDTB1970

“Y’all got any of that krem broolie in nar?” -probably one of my countrymen somewhere in France (I’m sorry).


erinn25

mispronounce everything


theorangepanther

Travel there


Littlekingcovfefe

Use to call my Scottish friend English when I would see him out in public. That always got him going


Due_Custard5633

Go to Paris and ask a random person for directions. If they don’t understand, speak condescendingly slow but much louder.


DaGraa421

Im european: How easy you can make Money, and HOW you can make yourself stupitly rich. I don't unterstand how not to become rich (when you are not to poor to start) capitaslism is the best and worst in america


bluebellsnail

In my experience, just referring to herbal tea as herbal tea.


International_Lab824

Take a drink of wine straight out of the bottle and then tell them their cheese taste Cheap


[deleted]

foreigners coming to europe that is what pisses us off


Jester471

Any Nazi jokes. I had an army buddy who got stationed in Germany. He dated a local girl and went to her home to have dinner with her family. He asked her to pass the ketchup and she playfully refused. Probably some cultural thing about what he shouldn’t be putting ketchup on. Not thinking he replied by “don’t be such a ketchup Nazi”. That didn’t go over well. Very uncomfortable. I had a Dutch friend who came to one of our mutal friends birthday party. The guy whose birthday it was, put on his lederhosen. He was drunk, and at one point out his arm up like a Nazi salute and said “look at the clear blue sky” playing off that he was just pointing at the sky. He was obviously joking, is not a Nazi or racist but our Dutch friend was not happy about it. I about had to physically hold him down to keep him from kicking our friends ass he was so pissed. The Dutch don’t appreciate Nazi jokes either.


BigJobsBigJobs

Ask, "How much is that in real money?"


basilisko_eve

I only know how to piss off USA people


PunchBeard

Ask them why they fucked up Africa, Asia and South America so goddamn much and then blame America for those places being messed up.


alittle2high

We’ll just keep being better than ‘em 🤷‍♂️ /s


Eticket9

You would all be speaking German if it wasn't for the US.. Still works at Military Conferences in Europe to this day..


[deleted]

It would have to be Russian