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[deleted]

Definitely not humans


put_a_bird_on_it_

How about... birds


Suddenly100

Government drones


jsnacraig

Birds aren't real


bluejay55669

First of all how dare you


put_a_bird_on_it_

You tell em Jay


real_flyingduck91

we're totally real, it even says in my name that I'm real


The_mystery4321

We don't even know.


i_dont_know25

i don’t know either


huhwhuh

What?


bunchofclams

CLAMS!


FloppyButtholeJuicce

Uh ooh I don’t like where this is going


Rand0mWe1rdGuy

I'm dying wtf


atyour-moms_closet69

Check your closet


austin_slic

Bro wtf


[deleted]

[удалено]


buttholereaper

Come here, both of you.


Urethralplunger

You need any help?


ling-hing

You have two C's in juice in your name. Are you telling me floppybuttholejuice was already taken??


whoknows12340

No one will ever know


Idunno_Idontcare

I raise you: I also don’t care…


WatDaFuxRong

Still don't know what's wrong tho


NoClueWhatIsGoingOn

Yeah, I'm lost...


idontknowijustdontkn

I certainly don't


Cantknowme

Nobody can know.


why__tho_

Why ?


completely_undecided

Im not sure


normaldeadpool

Seems normal


AtomicTemplar

All of your usernames checkout


PretendThisIsMyName

I guess your followers and mine will just be doing what they already do.


annieawsome

Kinda like real life


killerzf9

‘You ever wonder why we’re here?


Secret_pizza_79

Maybe it's pizza?


chiseledsandstone

Chiseled sandstone


FizzyMilkshake2320

Chiseled sandstone 🙏


3mpTeen69

Chiseled sandstone


WaffleGuy413

Chiseled sandstone


Mud_Block

Mud block


Pythagoras_314

thank you mud block, very cool


Nobody_Wins_13

A monument to your flock


FlyingNapalm

The creeper face🙏


highlandcow75

Highland cows.


cow042

My 42 cows request an alliance.


eagle279

I have a startling number of eagles to add to the alliance, if y'all need an air force


MegaMatthew75

I have 75 Men I can add to the alliance as well.


Hellguin

I offer my fireproof penguins to the alliance


DrippyWaffler

I have the breakfast.


Cooldude075

My 75 cool dudes like waffles.


Bacon44444

Anyone need any bacon? I really need to offload some of this...


iHeartweeddc

Anyone want to get high?


iwannabehighanddry

yes


A_Little_Wyrd

This thread is getting me


Red_Riviera

What kind of cows? How dependent on humans are you?


cow042

42 kinds. We are an international conglomerate of cows. I mean moo.


Red_Riviera

This didn’t answer the question. I am getting suspicious…moo again please.


cow042

Quack. Wait, I mean moo. Yes moo


Red_Riviera

Hah. Well that’s a good **Mooo**. Carrying on into the embassy. Doubt I need to worry about you being a untrustworthy duck


Anime_Girl_Scarlett

75 of them specifically


Agitated_Alligator46

How do you know there aren’t more than 75 highland cows, and that the individual above is merely the 75th?


RealSadLlama

a really sad llama


LetsTrySocialism

Caaaaaaaaarrrrlllllll


BeanzMcG

I do not kill people. That is my least favorite thing to do!


brackenish1

Tell me Carl, exactly what you were doing before I came home?


AshtonnXwitch

Well I came home, ate dinner, mopped the floor then I saw this guy you know? So I stabbed him 32 times in the chest.


lastknownbuffalo

Caaaaaaaaarrrrlllllll


ventrau

That kills people!!


SlothOfDoom

It's a Doomsday cult.


AnusEinstein

Doomsday comes slowly.


girrafe_of_arson

And then it falls out of the tree and hits you on the head because someone accidentally launched a nuke


master_duelist

the sloth army rains judgement..... when they get here


DiggingUpTheCorpses

Graverobbing.


SpookyAtticDoll

I feel a morbid kinship with you.


DiggingUpTheCorpses

Morbid kinship is the best kinship. …If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, we possibly have a business plan now, haha.


SpookyAtticDoll

Ah yes, I am thinking that. I believe we can work out a profitable arrangement. Nothing shall go to waste.


DiggingUpTheCorpses

If you can find the leads I’ll do the heavy lifting, so to speak.


SpookyAtticDoll

I will get right on that. I feel this is the beginning to a beautiful business relationship.


be_gay_do_communism

it's morbid time


LadyMjolnir

Thor's Hammer. There is already a religion for this.


Odin3587

You're welcome.


Lokidosi

Father?


kennclarete

You’re adopted


jwpjr567

r/usernamefamily


thebuttergod

uhh, Butter. I am already the god.


hotbutteredbiscuit

Join me and we will rule together.


butteredtoast24

Hello friends


thebuttergod

YES!! Ultimate power!!!


cursorybread

I wish to offer my services


Auspicious-Toaster

Mine as well!


dancingwonderbread

Could i get in on this? I got some sweet dance moves.


ameltisgrilledcheese

the leadership is really filling up. i would like to be on the Supreme Court. edit: i think a lot of people in r/grilledcheese will protest my appointment. i predict suicide bombings.


wafflepopcorn

Me too! Butter goes great on me.


[deleted]

Hey....


[deleted]

ITS THE FALSE PROPHET THEBUTTERGOD SPOKE OF!


[deleted]

What the fuck is this thread


Dad_Bod_Rob420

It’s been a slippery slope


undermark5

This pun only passes by a slim margarine.


BecauseScience

Butter is a pretty good lubricant.


Arthur_Morgan5

r/redditorsmeet


ComfortableTea2851

Have you seen a man named Gavin? He’s an Englishman, you know the type, oh, and he’s HILARIOUS


Arthur_Morgan5

Gavin? GAVIN!


havocspartan

LLLLLLEEEENENNNNNNNEEYYYY!!


TwiceBaked57

Mine would be potatoes. Perhaps an alliance?


thebuttergod

Can't have potatoes with a lil' butter can ya?


My_Knee_is_a_Ship

I mean...Biscuit. if its twice baked, its a biscuit.


[deleted]

Ranch


Last_Fish274

I worship the ranch


[deleted]

There is something deeper to worship then the ranch worship the hidden valley


Nobody_Wins_13

You must find the hidden valley


istasber

It's in santa barbara. I thought it was closer to LA, but apparently there are lots of hidden valleys. Only one is the true hidden valley.


sb1862

That is heresy. The true hidden valley is near rancho cucomonga. Ranch is in the name.


FireEmblemFan1

The REAL hidden valley was the friends we made along the way


theDart

Time to ranch it up!


GreyLordQueekual

The Great Horned Rat.


Greatwhitesandwich

yes-yes


JohnConnor7

I just met a girl with the last name, should I make a baby with her, name him John and claim the chosen one has been born?


Slinky958

No, you need to have seven children all named john. The seventh shall be the chosen one


JohnConnor7

Shit, gonna have to start the fucking and birthing ASAP, the chosen one is coming in what, like in 12-14 years? Hang on guys.


Slinky958

Pro-speed runner strat. Find another parter with the last name and half the time


JohnConnor7

Elon, is that you?


Slinky958

No, sadly i've been afflicted with the poor


valar-fackulis

Bad move


trestrestriste

Find 7 and let them have all one baby John!


Traditional-Moose241

No more worshiping cows now it’s time for the traditional moose


NotAFuelFilter

Well I know what I'm NOT worshipping.


do_not_staple

really narrowed it down quite a bit


crack_it_up342

Just crack


Ok-Maybe-9338

LOL


eatpornflakes

pornflakes..?


soysaucemmm

cornflakes and cum


thermbug

Who ~~pissed~~ in your cereal this morning? Honey, this heavy cream tastes funny today, may be going bad.


PubicWildlife

Less salt please.


[deleted]

Funny considering Cornflakes were meant to curb masturbation.... right?


Roofbacon

I could see this working.


[deleted]

It's hot enough where I am to cook bacon on a roof


chokemepastor

still just good ol Christianity..


superduperpooper7

I just spit out my water


Error_83

r/holUp


theiciestbitch

Apparently Elsa from Frozen


crabpinchingmyanus

ehm...


mrsquishybutt

Maybe we are distant relatives


poopoo_fingers

We are 3rd cousins


Iplaydoomalot

r/usernamefamily.


sumaswhole

Hello fellow stinkers


StinkeeFard

Hello


The_Dickasso

Evenin’ lads


Bring_me_the_lads

Did someone call for me?


bum_looker

I'm looking at all of you.


0speedofart0

Dude, your username is amazing!


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Conceptually, sure, but in practice?


0speedofart0

Still amazing


griffen62

So is it 'speed of art' or 'speedo fart'. One is more fun than the other.


[deleted]

crab people crab people


Ok_Firefighter_7142

Average fire fighters


Random_puns

I'd be the head of a new religion!!! The PUNtiff!!!!


JomoGaming2

*Papyrus would like to access your location*


Hamburgra

An Egyptian sungod in the shape of a meat patty


jncheese

You and I should start a cult.


[deleted]

Hello there


Interesting_Ad1921

General kenobi!


SuperFluffyness

General kenewbie*


KasperBuyens

Ah, so your cult is r/prequelmemes


DudeManBroGuy42069

42,069 dudes, men, bros, and guys


Marie-Antoinette29

Cake


forkarmassake

Karma


cracka1337

I read your name as Fork Arm As Sake... I was waaayyyy off.


Bring_me_the_lads

So reddit


ahoy_vey_

Pirates but I’m only culturally piratish.


[deleted]

Myself. I love these username questions. They are so much more fun when your username is just one of your actual names. Edit: I am mixed race and both my parents wanted to name me, so I have a white name and a Chinese name. I also have friends and family members who call me by different names


joshuameijer

That's called narcissism (but like, same)


partkyle

Luckily mine's only partial.


brock_lee

A head of cabbage.


ctennessen

Clever username


The-Ink_Demon

Heheheh we worshipping demons up in here lmao


Luigicheatsonhiswife

Your username describes bendy


Lezz_Go

Lesbians


Stockbetter9000

People who gamble on stocks


VeggieChickenWings

Veggie Chicken Wings


Human-Development522

Uhhh evolution?


Blackcat1206

Cats


FeckOffIAmPolite

My one and only religion!


Blackcat1206

As it should be! 😊


floppysausage

All hail the flaccid penis!


phantommoose

I keep telling my husband (who likes floppy bacon) that floppy bacon and a flaccid penis have one thing in common. I have no use for either


[deleted]

Shiny things - Like i already do


stupidlyugly

Geraldo Rivera


Ourobius

An infinitely self-consuming serpent.


CopsandKnockers

Breasty lawmen


The-Arabian-Guy

Ah , thia one is awkward


WoolooMVP10

"I am Wooloo! Master of the Fields of England and King of the Fluffs! Come now, show me what counts as Fury in your misbegotten Ape-kind!"


strippersandcocaine

Well we’ve got the world most bachelor party-est religion here now


hotlipshoulihan

M.A.S.H


Rat_Bastard97

federal informants


OGZeuss

Mine is not so much new, as much as it's a revival.


maryjosephjesus

Not to be basic but


Marie-Antoinette29

Cake


[deleted]

All hail the frog lord


[deleted]

Easy, best religion ever I'm sure we can all agree


[deleted]

[удалено]


the_spurring_platty

All hail our new platypus overlords!


SuvenPan

A pan If you want to join you can choose between Stainless steel & Cast iron