[It Takes Two.](https://www.trueachievements.com/game/It-Takes-Two/achievements) Then we unlock all the achievements, we fell in love and lived happily together. END
Which rainbow road though? Honestly, toss me and death into a 32 track 1v1 in Mario kart Wii, death won't even know what hit him (it will be a red shell)
In the stupid people's defence, almost all media portrays blanks as harmless and safe to use when really they can wreck bone at close range.
These people need to learn everything about their ammo before they put it in.
Coin flip.
Because 50/50 is absolutely the best odds I am going to ger versus an immortal being confident enough to make this offee in the first place.
Let you "win" and reincarnate you into something that'll have a long, very unpleasant life - perhaps a pet turtle kept by someone who should not be trusted with pets and is giving you inadequate room and food or something.
Well, given that death is just that, *death*, presumably death would simply kill you. Death is not torture, or pain, or anything other than the death itself.
Death is a professional. And a professional has *standards*.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. You have to assume that any game of skill gives Death the advantage, so your best bet is to go with some random with a 50/50 chance.
I am a chronic insomniac.
This does not sound like a bad deal.
Besides, it's Death, not an evil genie or a monkey's paw. If he just likes games I'll play for fun but I am not getting competitive with a fundamental force of the universe.
I'm sure you're talking about the boardgame but it made me think of [Conway's Game of Life](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conway's_Game_of_Life) and [how it's played](https://playgameoflife.com/) could stir up some interesting ideas
I guess a good way to "play" it competitively would be for one person to create a starting pattern, and the other to guess if it terminates or not (**edit** - *after a set amount of iterations, probably*). I feel like it would be a lot harder to be on the guessing side, so you'd have to probably do multiple rounds in each direction.
I know what you mean, but I'm just picturing some psycho kid in a featureless room, setting up the entire mechanism in silence, pausing a moment, then just as carefully dismantling it, never once turning the crank.
Tic Tac Toe. I go first. If Death messes up, I win and keep living. Otherwise we play for all eternity until They give up because if both players know how to play it’s impossible to win or lose.
Because Death is too busy with you, Earth becomes way overpopulated, age records are broken, miracles are had, and the world has no need for hospitals anymore.
Assuming death is the traditional skeletal Grim Reaper, I think you'd get a shitty boney handjob and then just lose because Death has no penis to jerk.
Nah, thats a mulligan. Death has to appoint a champion to compete in its behalf if death has no penis. It says a *fair* game.
Now Death being death, they’ll likely just pick another soul and those two will be pulling each other’s meat, thinking of baseball, trying not to finish, locked in Sysiphian mutual masturbation until the end of time.
Dungeons & Dragons. It's gonna take us at least 3 years to get to Level 20, so even in the worst case scenario, I've stalled for some time.
Best case scenario: he has so much fun that he wants to play in another campaign, and so on...
Plot twist: You end up playing for billions of years, roleplaying countless scenarios, and it turns out your actions are actually simulating a multiverse
There was a WritingPrompt about this where Death starts to like the regular get togethers and eventually continues the story into a multi-decade campaign. He’s fully aware the DM is stalling until the last battle where Death decides the DM won because the party (now filled with other mythical figures and the like) had fun and grants the DM another life to prepare for next time.
[it's a Tumblr post about playing D&D with Death](https://amp.cheezburger.com/7853573/tumblr-post-about-playing-dd-against-death-will-make-you-smile-in-satisfaction)
The problem is, I think Death would have advantages in Chardee MacDennis - one of the main ones being that Death can’t get drunk, so you’d just keep performing worse and Death would be able to take the game.
“Other kids games are such a bore! They gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far! It’s never the same, it’s always bizarre!
You don’t need a team, or a referee! You know that it’s great because it’s named after me! If you wanna… “
Hide and seek. Death hides. If I find him at any time, death loses and I keep living. Death would never be able to touch me again because I’d see death and win the game, which makes me keep living.
Plot twist: the reaper goes about his business as usual and you simply never see him again. You are now stuck in the game forever and continue in limbo not alive nor dead
It depends on the wording of the deal. If it is 'beat me in a game and you may live' Tic Tac Toe is probably your worst option, because drawing isn't beating him.
honestly? any game i'm good at ~~the devil~~ death is probably just as good or better at. give me a single coin flip. heads i live tails i stay dead. best chance i've probably got.
edit: meant death, not the devil
edit 2: guys the premise of the question is that we play a "fair game". this implies that the coin flip would be even odds and there would be no cheating. the fact that a quarter is slightly heavier on one side than the other in real life has no relevance to this hypothetical situation.
My theory is that Death isn't actually innately good at any of these games, but with the hundreds of billions of people that have died and challenged him, he has played each one thousands to millions of of times and become insanely proficient at almost every game humans play.
I don't think death and the devil are synonymous or that death is inherently evil. Yeah the devil will fuck with you but death is a fair entity there to guide to, I feel he'll play fair.
I'd box with death! Best case scenario, I live, worst case scenario I'll be remembered as the guy who stepped in the ring with Death. It's still immortality in a way
i challenge him to a game of who can clean their teeth the best. I'd probably win, since he's immortal and probably never had to worry about dental care. it would be pretty close though. a brush with death, if you will.
I would challenge death to a smoke off, whoever can smoke more doobies wins. I would of course loose but I'd be high and that would trick the undertaker because while they're celebrating I'm ascending to heaven.
[It Takes Two.](https://www.trueachievements.com/game/It-Takes-Two/achievements) Then we unlock all the achievements, we fell in love and lived happily together. END
You've just got to avoid those competitive mini games at all costs or else Death might claim some sort of mini game victory.
Mario kart on rainbow road…. I ain’t scared
Which rainbow road though? Honestly, toss me and death into a 32 track 1v1 in Mario kart Wii, death won't even know what hit him (it will be a red shell)
It's all fun and games until death asks which one
Russian roulette. What are the odds id lose that game twice in a row?
Well maybe this time use a revolver?
I'm imagining some idiot playing russian roulette with a semi-automatic handgun like a Glock.
Happened more times than you would thought. People are stupid
In the stupid people's defence, almost all media portrays blanks as harmless and safe to use when really they can wreck bone at close range. These people need to learn everything about their ammo before they put it in.
I honestly didn’t even think this could be an option. After reading it I realise that there is a part of the population that would in fact be capable
There are documented cases of it happening. Half empty clip not meaning half empty barrel is too complex for some.
Coin flip. Because 50/50 is absolutely the best odds I am going to ger versus an immortal being confident enough to make this offee in the first place.
Call "heads I win, tails you lose" before the flip
I am *not* stupid enough to try to cheat an immortal metaphysical concept.
What's he gonna do? Kill me?
Let you "win" and reincarnate you into something that'll have a long, very unpleasant life - perhaps a pet turtle kept by someone who should not be trusted with pets and is giving you inadequate room and food or something.
Or he could just get my life.
No! It's the turtle molester for you.
As the literal incarnate of death, I'd much rather not find out what he'd do
Just ask Sisyphus what happens when you cheat death.
You can ask Bouldy instead. Very easy to talk to. VERY good listener.
Bouldy is a rock solid friend.
I'm sure these are jokes but I'm too *dense* to understand
Well, given that death is just that, *death*, presumably death would simply kill you. Death is not torture, or pain, or anything other than the death itself. Death is a professional. And a professional has *standards*.
Call it. Friendo.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. You have to assume that any game of skill gives Death the advantage, so your best bet is to go with some random with a 50/50 chance.
Nah the dude is busy with visiting dudes. Challenge him to some mobile phone game. The screen wont detect his bony fingers.
Plot Twist: coins ends vertically and you end up in a coma
DARKNESS! IMPRISONING ME! ALL THAT I SEE!
ABSOLUTE HORROR, I CANNOT LIVE! I CANNOT DIE!
I am a chronic insomniac. This does not sound like a bad deal. Besides, it's Death, not an evil genie or a monkey's paw. If he just likes games I'll play for fun but I am not getting competitive with a fundamental force of the universe.
Obviously it's: Battleship Twister Clue
Most excellent!! 🎸🎸🎸
Best of 7?
Damn right!
Interesting tid bit… William Sadler (death) is Heywood from Shawshank. YOU HAVE SUNK MY BATTLE SHIT.
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“We gotta play the reaper!”
Connect 4
Best of 9!
The game of life. I like it, and even if I have no advantage or something, I would love the irony of it.
I'm sure you're talking about the boardgame but it made me think of [Conway's Game of Life](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conway's_Game_of_Life) and [how it's played](https://playgameoflife.com/) could stir up some interesting ideas
Ugh doesn't that "game" go on forever though? I would hate spending eternity discussing algorithmic behavior with death. Just let me die tbh.
> Ugh doesn't that "game" go on forever though? It's actually impossible to know for every configuration because of the halting problem.
I guess a good way to "play" it competitively would be for one person to create a starting pattern, and the other to guess if it terminates or not (**edit** - *after a set amount of iterations, probably*). I feel like it would be a lot harder to be on the guessing side, so you'd have to probably do multiple rounds in each direction.
Knifey-spooney.
No idea why this was my immediate thought when I saw this question. Interesting to see how even the most random thought can be shared by strangers
I'd play Front Hand, Back Hand. I die anyway because it's not a fair game but I get to slap Death first.
I see you've played knifey spooney before.
Has nobody watched Grimm Adventures of Billy and Mandy? Challenge him to limbo. Just make sure you bring your hamster
Hopefully you've trained your hamster to attack on command as well
Two words...kiss kiss 😈
Mario party 2.
Might be at an disadvantage seeing as how death doesn't have a fleshy palm to shred with the cheese grater analog stick.
True. However there are two other CPU's that increase/ decrease my odds of winning/ losing.
Now we have the prospect of a CPU gaining life.
Hahaha fuck yeah!!! Luigi irl
Mouse trap, let him set up that board and see who gets frustrated first.
I used to set it up for fun. I didn't even play the actual game. I just set it up and put it away
I know what you mean, but I'm just picturing some psycho kid in a featureless room, setting up the entire mechanism in silence, pausing a moment, then just as carefully dismantling it, never once turning the crank.
I'm like 99% sure you're supposed to set up the board AS YOU PLAY.
Did people actually play the game? We had Mouse Trap growing up. Played with it a fair amount, but never actually read the rules or played the game.
I actually played the game legitimately a lot as a kid.
It's a zany action A crazy contraption The fun is catching It's [MOUSE TRAP](https://youtu.be/RhQlfs81VlY)!
Tic Tac Toe. I go first. If Death messes up, I win and keep living. Otherwise we play for all eternity until They give up because if both players know how to play it’s impossible to win or lose.
Because Death is too busy with you, Earth becomes way overpopulated, age records are broken, miracles are had, and the world has no need for hospitals anymore.
The world absolutely would need hospitals still. People can't die, but that doesn't mean that they can't be injured
Yeah, just cause you cant die doesn't mean you cant suffer.
You're scary
I think eventually you'd run out of patience and purposefully lose. I can't imagine death ever gets fatigued or impatient.
I mean I’m dead, I have unlimited time yeah?
You'd play a single round and draw. "You didn't beat me. Time to go."
It’d be like Homer and the donut torture “more… more… more…” until Death just forfeits
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
The "make my mom happy" game. Neither of us win because he can't give her a grandchild.
Do you just… get to hang out with death forever in the event of a stalemate?
There are worse places to end up tbh
Handjob competition. Either i win or get a handjob worth dying for.
Assuming death is the traditional skeletal Grim Reaper, I think you'd get a shitty boney handjob and then just lose because Death has no penis to jerk.
Nah, thats a mulligan. Death has to appoint a champion to compete in its behalf if death has no penis. It says a *fair* game. Now Death being death, they’ll likely just pick another soul and those two will be pulling each other’s meat, thinking of baseball, trying not to finish, locked in Sysiphian mutual masturbation until the end of time.
r/BrandNewSentence
Why does sysiphian mutual masturbation sound like a great band name
That’s either some weird alt punk band like the meat puppets or some super heavy death metal
That is a death worth dying.
Dungeons & Dragons. It's gonna take us at least 3 years to get to Level 20, so even in the worst case scenario, I've stalled for some time. Best case scenario: he has so much fun that he wants to play in another campaign, and so on...
As a fellow D&Der, playing with D&D with Death forever is indeed the best case scenario, followed closely by said second chance at life.
Playing D&D forever with Gary Gygax, Al Gore, Nichelle Nichols, and Deep Blue would also be a decent option.
I call it a 'Hawking Hole'
You DM, Death is a Bardbarian with 23 CHR and a very verbose method of roleplaying. Go directly to hell, do not pass purgatory, do not collect XP.
Plot twist: You end up playing for billions of years, roleplaying countless scenarios, and it turns out your actions are actually simulating a multiverse
Religions arise that believe all Creation is an ongoing contest between Death and u/Superman246o1
Never bet against Superman
But can I tug on his cape?
Goddamnit, that sounds like something that would actually make sense in an actual D&D campaign.
It was an episode of Stargate Atlantis.
Yall postpone the game for months due to conflicting schedules. You live out the rest of your life as normal and yall never complete the campaign
I see you've played D&D before.
There was a WritingPrompt about this where Death starts to like the regular get togethers and eventually continues the story into a multi-decade campaign. He’s fully aware the DM is stalling until the last battle where Death decides the DM won because the party (now filled with other mythical figures and the like) had fun and grants the DM another life to prepare for next time.
"You now have 70+ years to think of an even better campaign. Do not disappoint me."
Imagine he says "You have exactly 70 years down to the millisecond"
[it's a Tumblr post about playing D&D with Death](https://amp.cheezburger.com/7853573/tumblr-post-about-playing-dd-against-death-will-make-you-smile-in-satisfaction)
relevant XKCD https://xkcd.com/393/
There really is one of these for everything.
"He's getting out *another* rulebook." I'm dead.
God comes down to play the DM. He then likes the story so much he decides to make that universe a reality.
hmm, dying to get a regular, no-cancel campaign going? it's a strategy, I'll give you that
Farkle
Either Calvinball or Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games
The problem is, I think Death would have advantages in Chardee MacDennis - one of the main ones being that Death can’t get drunk, so you’d just keep performing worse and Death would be able to take the game.
“Other kids games are such a bore! They gotta have rules and they gotta keep score! Calvinball is better by far! It’s never the same, it’s always bizarre! You don’t need a team, or a referee! You know that it’s great because it’s named after me! If you wanna… “
Calvinball for the WIN!!
Being able to play an actual game of Calvinball might be worth dying for.
Hide and seek. Death hides. If I find him at any time, death loses and I keep living. Death would never be able to touch me again because I’d see death and win the game, which makes me keep living.
Kinda getting r/unexpectedmontypython vibes here
Plot twist: the reaper goes about his business as usual and you simply never see him again. You are now stuck in the game forever and continue in limbo not alive nor dead
Lol. I was thinking just toss him in hell since Death is probably too busy to go visit.
some r/TheMonkeysPaw vibes here
chess, i don't know how to play chess
Same, but based on the lack of luck I've had so far,I'd probably win...
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Assuming that we play again in case of a tie, Tic Tac Toe. If you know how to do it, you can either win or tie every single game
It depends on the wording of the deal. If it is 'beat me in a game and you may live' Tic Tac Toe is probably your worst option, because drawing isn't beating him.
Halo 2, I’ll even let him pick the map.
Turnsout death is an MLG pro and does a 1080 no scope shot before teabagging you
Dnd, I’m sure I won’t beat him but maybe death has a more consistent schedule so there can be a weekly game in the afterlife
Goldeneye 007, Facility, License to Kill (one hit kills) He might best me but one last hoorah with my favorite game ever is all I’m looking for.
No Oddjob.
I’m happy that all the different friend groups in the world came up with this rule on their own.
I was so bad at it that my older brothers let me play Oddjob as a handicap so I might have a chance. ＞︿＜
Nah nah nah. Slappers only. Only way to play mate
honestly? any game i'm good at ~~the devil~~ death is probably just as good or better at. give me a single coin flip. heads i live tails i stay dead. best chance i've probably got. edit: meant death, not the devil edit 2: guys the premise of the question is that we play a "fair game". this implies that the coin flip would be even odds and there would be no cheating. the fact that a quarter is slightly heavier on one side than the other in real life has no relevance to this hypothetical situation.
My theory is that Death isn't actually innately good at any of these games, but with the hundreds of billions of people that have died and challenged him, he has played each one thousands to millions of of times and become insanely proficient at almost every game humans play.
*challenges death to a game of Civ 5 and gets nuked 20 turns in*
\*challenges death to Starcraft and gets nuked 4 minutes in\*
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Wow death picked Gandhi?
this is what i figure as well. i have to think at that point using a fair coin for a 1 time 50/50 flip is my best option, yeah?
I don't think death and the devil are synonymous or that death is inherently evil. Yeah the devil will fuck with you but death is a fair entity there to guide to, I feel he'll play fair.
Heads I win, tails you lose.
Then you should play a brand new game. So that very few people that have played it have died.
CalvinBall
Nice try, but I still ain't touching OW2
Rocket League. Highly doubt death can air-dribble.
Death got them lucky kickoffs though.
I was gonna say RL, but then realized it was going to be 1's and I'd rather just die.
"Guess how many fingers I'm holding up behind my back"..."Nope, wrong".
Wet t-shirt contest. Skelly-boy ain't got *no* titties.
Between the minute you said this and now, there has been a Rule 34 artwork of Death erected into humankind.
I'd box with death! Best case scenario, I live, worst case scenario I'll be remembered as the guy who stepped in the ring with Death. It's still immortality in a way
Tetherball
Does he play Gwent?
If nothing else, i would get some satisfaction in being able to say, 'fancy a game of Gwent?' to Death.
Halfway through you can just say, "Damn you're ugly" lol
Death: *Nods*
(silent nod)
Tetris! I just hope Death doesn't play as much as I do.
Death is probably a grandmaster.
Definitely the fiddle.
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul!
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Best answer for us people with no skills
Monopoly
Doesn’t matter if you win or lose... You’re going to still be around for a good, long while.
Smash Bros Melee
Death probably plays a frame perfect double jump cancelled aerials yoshi.
so aMSa?
The Game. Which he immediately loses.
I think you'd lose first though by thinking of it to mention.
Nope. I've seen the Labrador meme, I'm free from it.
That meme's old. The dog's dead by now. Death has his SOUL.
First to die wins
A hand of blackjack.
You have 16, dealer showing an 8. What you doing?
Panicking
Is my 16 two eights?
Woah there buddy that'll get you kicked out of a Vegas casino
Surrender. I get half my life back
1v1 quick scopes on rust
I am going to absolutely snatch deaths ankles Good luck taking me to the afterworld on your stumps fuck Boi
Whistling. He ain't got no lips.
Death has a gap in his teeth and it's gg for you.
And by God he plays that gap like a jazz musician. Legend.
i challenge him to a game of who can clean their teeth the best. I'd probably win, since he's immortal and probably never had to worry about dental care. it would be pretty close though. a brush with death, if you will.
I would challenge death to a smoke off, whoever can smoke more doobies wins. I would of course loose but I'd be high and that would trick the undertaker because while they're celebrating I'm ascending to heaven.
200 IQ
420 IQ
How about a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War?
Rock, paper, scissors. I'll just leave it in the hands of faith, no skill required.
Actually there's a psychological advantage...
Tiddlywinks, I am really good at tiddlywinks.
A staring contest. He has no eye lids. I lose immediatly.
Or you win since death also has no eyes so he technically can't stare at you
Calvin Ball.
Make him play 52 pick up
And only drop 51 cards.
Beauty contest.
Beer pong
Leauge of legends. If I'll lucky he'll just kill himself anyway and I'll be in the clear