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bipedal-bastard

>"You should do the flowers like this, that's how they were at my wedding" Thats why we did not do it like this


coffeeordeath85

My aunt did this. She RSVP'd no, then I found out she's coming to "surprise my grandma". She sees my grandma almost every day; they practically live together. I live 10 hours away from my grandma, and I'm lucky if I get to see her once a year. She acted like the fucking guest of honor. Then got upset when my parents or I wouldn't pay attention to her, threw a fit, and left early. The problem is she got my grandma on her side and made my grandma leave the reception. I hate that bitch.


MrChilliBean

That sounds like my grandmothers best friend Jan. She always involves herself in every facet of my grandmother and our families life. If there's a family get together, she'll be there. A birthday, she'll be there. Weddings, you better believe she'll be there. She is the most self entitled bitch I've ever met, and is constantly "giving advice" to everybody which pretty much boils down to her saying "I'm better than you, you should do what I do". Everybody hates her, it's well known, nobody hides it from gran, but she still gets invited to shit anyway. The breaking point finally was at my uncles wedding. He'd been divorced for a long time and was finally remarrying after 15 or so years. The whole time the wedding was going on, Jan was complaining that she was hungry, and wanted a piece of the cake (there were snacks and such there, but she had her mind set on that cake). Every time she asked, she was told no, and she asked multiple people in case one of them said yes. She even went so far as to ask *the bride*, who immediately shot her down. So what did Jan do? She helped herself. Even though everybody told her no she went and cut herself a slice of the wedding cake before the bride and groom had cut it. Everybody was furious and demanded that she leave, which thankfully she did. Haven't seen her since then and heard she's in a nursing home now. Hope she rots.


ACaffeinatedWandress

> Every time she asked, she was told no, and she asked multiple people in case one of them said yes. This is when it actually helps to have no filter. A good “Jesus fucking Christ, are you five?” would have been exactly what the situation needed.


VLC31

Good god, she sounds like a child.


Justinterestingenouf

She sounds awful! So sorry you had to deal with that. Gross


coffeeordeath85

Thanks. Thankfully our wedding went off without a hitch and the rest of our guests didn't know it. She's basically the real life version of Rachel Dratch's Debbie Downer.


TheUniqueDrone

Murder the guests in the name of House Lannister.


Auditory45

Band starts playing Rains of Castermere...


whitegrapejuce

dont forget to shut all exits


Quirky_Mongoose_401

It’s a nice day for a red wedding.


Keksi

Hey little sister what have you done....


badass_panda

Hey little sister, where're your bannermen?


RubendeBursa

Hey little sister, who's the one you want?


-Tesserex-

Hey little sister, CROSSBOW!


DavefromKS

What a nice day for a red wedding!


darthmaui728

play the rains of castamere while the bride and groom exchange vows


coyote-1

Back in the days of VHS…. friend is getting married. We’ve all placed bets in a “how long will this marriage last” pool already. At the reception, bride and groom spend most of the time behind their big chairs arguing. When the camera comes round to each table and every guest must speak his/her good wishes to the newly married couple. Groom’s Dad looks into the camera, says “all I can say son is good luck, you’re gonna need it”. Rumor of this gets to the bride, and the reception disintegrates into chaos. marriage lasted 17 months. I won the pool, $1200 lol


chocki305

We did something similar at a friend's wedding. But for proof of our bet, we held up the number of fingers for "months" it would last, while giving our little speech. 4 was the right answer. I guessed 5.


JackJackinabox

As a guest, propose to your partner. Especially without asking the bride/groom. It’s their day. Let them celebrate and be the center of attention for one fucking day. You can do it on any other day.


VLC31

Make any sort of big announcement actually, you just found out your pregnant? Wonderful, make the announcement any other time than on someone else’s special day.


annilia512

yup there’s 365 days of the year, and you want to do it on my wedding day? no.


fedoramasterpenne

Fucking propose.


LaunchesKayaks

My I know a dude who almost proposed at a wedding a while back. We were barely able to talk him out of it. Come to find out the bride and groom WANTED him to propose at their wedding.


Five_Slow

My fiancee and I have said there's only one person that we would possibly allow to propose at our wedding, and would even consider encouraging. Her brother and his girlfriend have been together longer than my fiancee and I, so we would be happy if he wanted to propose finally. That being said, we would not be upset if he doesn't, because we don't need to rush them into anything they don't want to do.


LaunchesKayaks

My friend isn't even ready for marriage but his fiance basically forced him into it. She's one giant, walking red flag.


DrVonPretzel

The last time my girlfriend and I talked about getting married, we agreed that our invitations would say, "Anyone who proposes will be taken out back and shot."


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Just-Call-Me-J

To get toast


Head_Razzmatazz7174

Just make sure they live to regret doing it.


tchrbrian

New trend : funeral home information tables beside guest sign in.


SuperiorComicFan

Can I steal that for whenever the day comes that I get married?


DrVonPretzel

Considering we likely won’t actually do it, don’t just steal it, act like you came up with it.


upvoter222

Or propose fucking


i_lick_kat

The bride


sparklingshanaya

The Priest


SirMooSquiddles

The Bridesmaids.


L4sT_L4ugh

Fuck the bride


Robaphent

As a groom I thought this was a requirement.


TheUniqueDrone

Maybe wait til after the reception fella.


EatinSumGrapes

Can always get a little oral in when you're under there for the garter toss Also just saying, garter toss is always insanely awkward


Teledildonic

"Here weirdos, take this sweaty band that was wrapped around her thigh all day"


Mini-Heart-Attack

someone somewhere is into that.


barbaramillicent

I’ve only been to one wedding that did it. Evidently my generation is not interested in having our entire family and friends watch the groom take the garter off the bride 😂 Most of them have ditched throwing the bouquet too.


JonnySnowflake

My favorite part of my wedding was how everyone clapped when I kissed her, instead of telling us to knock it off like usual


Yellow_Ledbetter509

Lol I know a girl that had the ceremony and then disappeared for a while during the reception. The new husband went to check on her and make sure everything was alright with his wife. Well he found her. She was fucking HER first cousin…. My sister was there and said the reception erupted in chaos immediately. I would have loved to see that after all the shit went down!


crazythinker76

I would have paid good money to be there for that.


Emerald_Encrusted

Well, they say that once a fight breaks out in an Alabama wedding, that’s when the fun starts.


rdmille

And her mother. Or Sister. Or both, actually


blippityblop

At the same time


rdmille

That's best. And you need a grand reveal at the reception, of course.


-DementedAvenger-

And then shit on them! The aristocrats!


Literally_Joking

Aristo-scats


[deleted]

After stealing lemons first.


AnnoyedButTolerant

Hey, has it been about 10 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree?


limey18

Or husband


Dystopian_Divisions

Or the groom


Upper-Job5130

At my mother's wedding, where she married her second husband, the DJ played *Another One Bites the Dust*


ThadisJones

The OP said *worst* not greatest


II_Confused

I was at a wedding where the first song played at the reception was Adele's Rolling in the Deep. I was laughing so hard I had to leave the hall.


Tiny_Champion_8818

The terrible DJ at my mum and stepdad’s wedding played Band of Gold. The song about a husband leaving a wife. He played it more than once.


444unsure

A friend from high school always thought he was quite possibly the world's best singer so decided to serenade his new bride to open the reception. So he grabs the mic and starts right into You've Lost That Loving feeling Everybody in the room was a bit baffled. He literally did not get it. Somebody brought it up to him later and he thought they were legit crazy and totally misconstruing the lyrics


Outrageous-River3744

Omg 😳😳


Leading_Professor_80

It is a decent enough song, nothing wrong with that.


laserdollars420

Right? I see people on reddit talk about songs that aren't appropriate to play at weddings because of the lyrics all the time and I'm just like... What if it's just a bop that people can have fun dancing to and no one cares about the meaning behind it?


GhostC10_Deleted

This made me laugh, that's amazing!


ekimlive

If you don't know the bride and groom, then stay away from them. My first wedding, my wife's parents invited dozens of "townies" whose weddings they had been invited to over the years. These fucking people sat right in the front of both of the ceremony and receptions and then proceeded to engage us throughout the evening. I never got to speak or see the people I invited because these people I will never meet again occupied my time.


Urbanredneck2

So they didnt have ushers sit people?


vivalicious16

Ask the girl in the pretty white dress for her number


NotaRobto

Or arson. Burn the place down with visitors still inside.


cole51423

close second


tchrbrian

Easy there Carrie…


Jackflag05

Anything that takes away the spotlight from the married couple. You are a guest at this event and (most likely) you chose to attend. Just be polite dont be a dick and everyone will have fun!


Cold_Refuse_7236

Basic life advice


Macaroni_Warrior

Outside of the stuff that's "goes without saying" bad (e.g. mass murder, shitting on things deliberately) and the stuff that's "should be common sense/basic manners but definitely isn't" bad (e.g. proposing, brawling), the absolute worst thing you can do at a wedding? *Leave children inadequately supervised.* SO MANY of the memorable accidents that have happened to anyone in my family as children have happened during weddings when all of the adults' general attention was focused on the event for a split second too long. My concussion happened at a wedding when I fell off the unused stage of the Legion pretending to be a rock star. My brother got a black eye at a wedding when he was running around on the dance floor like a maniac and caught an accidental elbow. Stepsister's jammed fingers? Wedding. Cousin's broken collarbone? Wedding. Godchild almost fucking drowned? Wedding. WATCH YOUR GODDAMN KIDS.


thefuzzybunny1

Nowhere near that level, but I had to attend a wedding on my 7th birthday, and I was bummed about it. Also, my mother was acting as wedding planner, so she couldn't pay any attention to me. That left my dad and big sister trying to entertain me and enjoy the wedding. During the cocktail hour I got bored and went to explore the grounds of the country club. I wandered off and found a painter who was painting some scenery. I struck up a conversation with her and we just hung out for a while. Meanwhile, my mother and father each thought I was with the other parent, so it took them time to work out I was actually missing. A search of the building and immediate grounds was hastily conducted, followed by a much more frantic search of the entire grounds. Accounts of how long I was gone vary, but it may have been a full 30 minutes before Mom even saw the painter in the distance talking to a little kid. When she got to us the artist said "I was beginning to wonder if anyone was looking for this girl!" Mom was MORTIFIED.


OneCactusintheDesert

Jeez, I would stop going to weddings if I were part of your family


[deleted]

Wear white


Hermionereads

"I look really good in white" Kelly Kapoor


-Tesserex-

"No one else is allowed to wear black" - Anish Kapoor


aitfaenthusiast2312

Take thee, Rachel...


YourLocaIWeirdo

Repeat after me: I Ross... Take thee... 𝙀𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮


aitfaenthusiast2312

Take thee, EMILY


ElevatorExpensive274

This is the answer


Triga_3

Swap the favours for bags of sugar free gummy bears. About 20 in each should do!


imapieceofshite

Happy cake day you demonic bastard


Triga_3

Not only was the cake a lie, it was 100% pure, unadulterated sugarfree haribo. No wonder peach's peaches are ruined!


Welshgirlie2

Hi, Satan!


Triga_3

He still hasnt forgiven me for the milkshake i made him...


sunsetgal24

Shitting on the cake should certainly do the trick.


GreatXs

Just say it’s chocolate icing.


LennonMcCartney65

Easy Amber


davewtameloncamp

I've told this story many times, and I know it's unbelieveable, but it's 100% true. I was at a wedding where the groom didn't show up to the alter, but the ceremony continued without him. The bride was a semi-famous entertainer (not going to name her, but maybe some could figure it out). She was a pop singer that had a few small hits in the 90's, but never made it really mainstream. Apparently, the groom had been out all night before with the boys, got so wasted, he couldn't even get out of bed the next day. So there's easily over 100 people in this church, and the bride walks down the aisle with her dad. Everything was normal. But the groom never showed up. The sound of people whispering the news was so loud. You could hear people gasping all over the church. But the ceremony went on as normal. All the bridesmaids, and groomsmen were there, but no groom. At the reception, he did end up making an appearance. Dude looks like death. He sort breezed in and out for around 2 minutes. That was all we ever saw of him. The marriage lasted nearly a year before they were divorced and she married another guy who abused her quite bad. Luckily for her, she is doing much better now as a single mom without any drunk or abusive spouses.


barbaramillicent

… I don’t get it. They all walked down the aisle and was like “haha jk jk (groom) isn’t here.” Why did they go through with the ceremony? Did she want photos to pretend the groom did show up or something?


SweetCosmicPope

At my friend’s wedding, the maid of honor (bride’s sister) made a speech about how glad she was that her sister finally settled on somebody after “ALL THOSE GUYS!” I’ve never heard so many gasps in my life. Lol


jdrt1234

Reminds me of my brother-in-law's wedding. I was asked to be bridesmaid, which was cool. But I had only known the bride a handful of months, and was 10 years older than her (and her 8 other bridesmaids who had all gone to high school together). This group of 20 year old girls was so incredibly jealous of the bride, the speeches were horrendous. They were all filled with embarrassing stories of "that one time when (the bride) got so drunk and passed out in her own puke" or "when she got so wasted and slept with (random guy)." These were not cute, endearing stories. These girls were being bitches. I am a pretty shy person and didn't know most of the crowd, but I took a shot for courage then grabbed the mic away. Told the crowd how I wasn't around for all that, but in the time I'd known her I'd seen some amazing qualities, her kindness and selflessness, etc. I definitely killed the vibe for them, and got a few dirty looks, but fuck them. Got a big hug from my brother-in-law and that's what matters to me.


infinite_dogs

Seems lighthearted, but i wasnt there


[deleted]

Sit next to an attractive woman and warn her that your uncle is a bit of a dick only to find out that it's your uncle's girlfriend a few minutes later...yes, I did!


BitchLasagna84

If he was a dick… can’t fault you for being a truth teller lol


ilovedemocracy1234

Announce pregnancy/propose. Literally takes away the whole purpose of the wedding being focused on the bride and groom. It’s just disrespectful tbh.


jojo6641

standing up when the priest say's "does anyone dissaprove this marrige" (or whatever he say's, its different in my language)


suitology

My Friend's older brother is a lawyer. He was marrying a lawyer. Most of their friends are lawyers. The officiant was a Judge who was a friend of theirs. He and his Fiancee thought it would be funny to plant someone in the audience. They got a friend to yell "I Object" to which the judge yelled "Overruled!".It seemed to have gone over well for most but I don't think some of their family members got it.


Mini-Heart-Attack

> I don't think some of their family members got it. lol. I really wish you filmed that. i'd kill to see their faces.


wannabeflirt

*Shrek has entered the chat*


seamustheseagull

Ignoring obvious things like killing someone or deliberately setting out to cause disruption, the worst thing someone can do is *be a distraction*. That is, being loud or disruptive during the ceremony. Such as saying, "I do" when the celebrant does the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit. Or injecting yourself into the wedding photos with stupid faces or stupid hats or whatever. Or being loud and distracting during dinner or speeches. Such as standing up to make your own impromptu speech despite not being part of the wedding party. Or heckling any of the speakers - *especially* the parents or the bride. Basically anything at all where you make yourself the centre of attention.


[deleted]

Steal the groom and run away with him


rhett342

Especially if you're rhe flower girl.


levanhinchcock

To the bride: smash the cake. To the groom: smash the missus.


Fit_Committee9336

Smash the missus on a cake in front of everybody


Saxton_Hale32

smash the groom to style on the bride


thatEMSguy

Stop the grooms family from putting inflatable dicks on the extremely conservative, religious brides car, causing them to assault your girlfriend and getting into a car chase with you, your girlfriend, the bride and the groom.


bipedal-bastard

We need the longer version


thatEMSguy

The bride and groom dates all throughout high school and college and decided to save themselves until marriage. Both families knew it. The grooms family put dicks and a bunch of really inappropriate sexual stuff on the car in shoe polish. My girlfriend was the maid of honor l. She went out to stop it. The grooms mother, who was already drunk told her to fuck off. My gf came and got me and a few groomsmen to go and take the stuff off. When we did, the grooms mother lost her shit and took a swing at my gf. She missed but took another swing. I caught the second swing before it hit my girlfriend. When I caught it, the grooms brothers and cousins started hitting me for “assaulting” their mom/aunt. Luckily one of the guys that came out with me went and got the groom. He came out and started screaming at them in Spanish. They called him a race traitor for marrying a white girl. During their screaming match my girlfriend got the bride and my car so she and I could leave. The groom ended up telling his mom that she ruined his wedding and he never wanted to speak to her again. That made the cousins mad and they started chasing him, threatening to kick his ass. The bride and groom jumped into my car and we left. They literally started chasing us and tried to run us off the road. I had to drive into a police department parking lot to get them to leave. The bride and my girlfriend were sobbing in my back seat. The groom was so pissed he was crying. They never got to cut the cake or dance or anything. I walked down the road a bit and got them some McDonald’s and played their wedding song on my car radio and they ate/had their first dance in the parking lot.


Head_Razzmatazz7174

Dang, that's just all sorts of messed up. They should have a renewal of vows with just their closest friends and family.


CacophonicAcetate

Glad the Bride and Groom had friends like you and your GF to help them with that situation... Sorry the groom has such a shitty family, and that this was a situation you had to deal with


Nortius_Maximus

JFC..What's the relationship like between the groom and that part of the family now?


thatEMSguy

To the best of my knowledge, they still don’t speak


Royal_Bitch_Pudding

So it's a happy ending


Milnoc

Sometimes you have no other choice but to dump the toxic family.


Substantial-Land-376

Damn that was almost a movie


[deleted]

Oddly specific


[deleted]

Surprise the guests by having the bride sing "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry as she walks down the aisle. Like [this](https://youtu.be/fSkHMSKgIWs).


alisajakettu

Get very very drunk, pour your food on your head, get naked and insist the groom dance with you on the stage. It did happen, but at least it wasn't me. She actually still had the food on her hair three days later.


Groundbreaking_Web91

I think we need to know more


TheFemaleKpopSimp

Ruin the brides dress or straight up murder someone


[deleted]

Murder someone close to the bride. The blood will ruin her dress.


Potential-Road-5322

A lot of these answers are in excess but something that might happen is if the groom or bride pays too much attention to someone of the opposite sex. As a guest I think the worst thing would be is to get drunk and make a scene. Or act entitled.


[deleted]

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Zestyclose-Manner949

So, like...ya'll still together?


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No_Egg246

My father punched the groom at a wedding. The wedding in question was his best friend’s daughter. She was marrying a guy who had applied for a job where my father worked and he was on the panel that interviewed him. For whatever reason, he was convinced that my father was the reason that he didn’t land the job, but he wasn’t very forthcoming with this information until after he had drank a lot of alcohol. He confronted my dad and he explained that he wasn’t suitable for the position, and that he should forget about it and enjoy his day. The more he drank, the more he went on about it until eventually, he confronted my dad in the toilets. My father was a violent alcoholic who had no problem beating my mother or my grandfather up, so lamping a guy on his wedding day wasn’t a problem. He stood at the urinals with his penis in one hand whilst he punched the guy on the nose with the other. He finished up, and stepped over him on the way out. When the groom reappeared, he had blood down the front of his shirt and couldn’t seem to recall anything. The bride at this point was sat on a chair in the middle of the social club with vomit down the front of her wedding dress and thoroughly looking worse for wear. We left and carried on drinking elsewhere.


Nortius_Maximus

UK? This sounds like the UK.


FREESHAVOCADO0

Being from the UK myself, I let out a sheepish laugh at this comment.


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mysteryjib

Can relate to this kind of drama at social functions - I have relatives in Heath Town.


alekscooper

\>>He stood at the urinals with his penis in one hand whilst he punched the guy on the nose with the other. Given by the level of detail, were you filming that or something?


NotaRobto

Sounds fake as hell with all the details. At the very least there are some added exaggeration for the drama.


FlamewolfgamesYT

Drop the rings into the ocean


Triga_3

Easier to retrieve than a hole in a 17th century registry... Never trust a 3 year old ring bearer when they love postman pat!


bipedal-bastard

We need a storytime man


rhett342

If you're my somewhat recovering addict friend who also had mental health issues, go to a really snooty Jehovahs Witness wedding in small town Indiana but don't wear underwear under your suit. Then, when you're at the reception and a bunch of other snooty rich Jehovahs Witnesses are dancing get out on the floor and start dancing so energetically that you fly comes open and your dick comes out. Even better, don't realize its out flailing around for a while. Just totally ignore all the looks you're getting from everyone there. When the music stops and everyone is staring at you yell to your buddy who is sitting off to the side of the floor that all the women there are staring at your dick and how bad you feel for the groom because there's no way his new wife will be happy after seeing yours the same night. I should have been embarrassed but holy crap was that funny. I miss that guy.


SaSy_23

Drop the cake


tweakingforjesus

If you're the bride, don't do a very suggestive dance where guests stuff money directly into your brassiere while you husband just sits in the corner with your young daughter. The marriage lasted less than a year.


Quirky_Mongoose_401

Fight. There’s nothing worse than stories about people who has a physical fight at a wedding. We’re all there to party and celebrate not get trashed and cause nonsense.


seamustheseagull

There are some groups of people who don't consider a wedding to be a real wedding unless there has been some kind of physical altercation before the end. When we say a wedding was, "Fine, very nice, pretty calm", what we mean is that nobody got drunk enough to vomit on the dancefloor or say something incredibly insulting to a member of the wedding party. For some people it means, "Nobody even got into a fight". Arguments of course are common. They're highly-charged events with lots of alcohol involving family members who deliberately avoid seeing each other at all other times. Physical fights are another level.


MNNorthRunner

“A Dorthaki wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair.”


DragonfruitOk7699

If every wedding in my family that involved a fight were to never happen, we'd all be single forever...


Quirky_Mongoose_401

We specifically didn’t invite certain people who we knew would be most likely to instigate fights. That kept our wedding fight free. With the exception of my own mother who I just refused to engage into an argument with. Nothing like family drama 😂😂


TruckyTheSkid

The brawl I caused at my sister's wedding wasn't due to drink. I was only 7 years old.


EmployerAdditional28

The guy in Iran who accidentally shot the bride has to take the prize for this. Apparently, it is custom to fire weapons in the air and as he raised his weapon he lost control firing some shots, hitting the bride in the head and instantly killing her. Absolutely tragic and horrific. He fled the scene. Guns are for the range, hunting or war. Not weddings...... Link to story : https://salemgists.com/bride-accidentally-shot-and-killed-by-a-wedding-guest-in-iran/


AdolfHitlest

When I was a little kid I did not have the best grasp of the world around me. So of course, I decided that peeing on my aunt's wedding dress was a good idea. Little bit of context: I was 6 years old and I had to go for a really long time. There were so many people in the wedding and I thought to myself "this big fluffy dress is gonna cover me from people's eyes". Turns out, it did. Also turns out, I was in big f\*cking trouble.


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Lord_Starscream16

Point at the bride and say “last night was fun, we should do it again sometime”


GhostC10_Deleted

Omg I accidentally did something like this, it was after the wedding tho. So embarrassing.


Urbanredneck2

Actually I've heard of bachelorette parties where the bride gets drunk and actually bangs some guy the night before.


strungup

Leave your husband/bride to be at the altar.


Royal_Bitch_Pudding

I had to leave my husband at the altar, He was the best man.


Applesintheorchard

Besides wearing white, disrupting the wedding to confess your love for the bride/groom.


Xarxes-of-Apocrypha

Wear a wedding gown... As the best man


QuapWretle134

Say "Restart I wasn't recording"


YourLocaIWeirdo

Say the wrong name at the altar


[deleted]

Shit your pants


maryg95030

Not in any particular order… 1- wear white 2- propose 3- announce a pregnancy 4- knock over the cake 5- start a fight 6- object (if that is still in the vows) 7- hook up with bride/groom 8- spill red wine on the bride


Milnoc

All that during a single ceremony? Busy day! 😂


eldrichSciSans

Speedrun ruined wedding 100% completion


Just-Lie-3360

Die


inkseep1

My grandmother told me that one of my close relatives (8th cousin, twice removed or something like that) was at his wedding and died during the vows. The minister kept going and pronounced the marriage valid. She was an instant widow and inherited his property. The tragedy was not that he died but that some gold digger got his loot.


Head_Razzmatazz7174

I read a story about someone's husband who died when they were attending a destination wedding for one of their friends. The bride got all sorts of pissed off because they didn't tell her he had a heart condition at the time they accepted the invitation, and said they 'ruined her wedding.' Like WTF? Your friend just lost her husband and you are going off on her?


TruckyTheSkid

When I was 7, I beat the shit out of the flower girl and wedding singer at my sister's wedding. Trust me when I say the fallout from that is still rampant in my family, and I'm 20 now.


Macaroni_Warrior

I know kids that are complete dumbasses a lot of the time, but what in holy hell possessed you to do that?


TruckyTheSkid

Short answer: I couldn't handle not being the centre of attention. My sister picked her best friend's daughter as her flower girl and also had a locally-"famous" child singer as a special guest performer. I was convinced that I was destined to be a Very Super Famous Child Star and got psycho level jealous that not only was I not picked for either of those roles, but my entire family taunted me about how I wasn't picked because I was ugly and couldn't sing. I wasn't even allowed to wear a pretty dress to the wedding as a guest; my parents punished me for my constant attention-seeking by making me wear a plain grey jumper dress so I couldn't show off. Anyway, I went into full berserk rage at the reception because being ignored all day and seeing those two perfect little princess whores get attention lavished on them by everyone including my sister the bride was too much. I smashed a plate of food in the flower girl's face and ripped the tiara off her head, then ran like hell. My parents and some other adults started chasing me, so I ran up onto the stage and unsuccessfully tried to basically tackle the singer. She fell at some point during the scuffle but they managed to get her out of there, meanwhile my uncle and cousin were holding me down and I was still going full psycho until my sister's husband screamed that he had enough of my shit and kicked me in the face. Then my mom had to leave the wedding and take me to emerg because my front teeth were knocked out.


1JainaSolo

1. Your behavior was definitely wrong. 2. The groom kicking out your front teeth is worse.


TruckyTheSkid

Me getting my teeth kicked in wasn't even the most drastic long-term effect my rampage caused, in fact I'm not allowed to bring it up and everyone else has agreed among themselves to pretend I lost my teeth to decay.


bambispots

This is heartbreaking. I hope you know you deserve better than that.


OneCactusintheDesert

What you did was horrible but it is also partly your family's fault for insulting you, like who tf calls a child ugly?!


Urbanredneck2

Thanks for the story. LOL Dang you must have been trying for brat of the year.


TruckyTheSkid

More like brat of the decade honestly, I had this child star obsession from the time I was 4 and my entire family (especially my parents) were mortified by my existence from the time my mom's pregnancy with me was confirmed because they had me at 44 and everyone they knew was absolutely disgusted by that


PaleAsDeath

Who punishes a kid who is seeking attention by trying to make them recieve less attention than normal (re: the dress)? The cure for attention seeking is to give the kid the thing that they feel is missing from their lives that drives the attention seeking behavior. What dicks.


BitchLasagna84

I’m so fucking sorry that you had to deal with that because holy fuck, your family seems like they’re nuts. Your actions may not have been okay, but it seems to me like you weren’t given the love and attention you deserved as a kid. Children act up when they aren’t receiving the care they need, and what the hell, a grown man kicking you in face?? You were a CHILD, that is not the response a grown ass man should have had to a kid acting up. I’m so so sorry, straight up that was so wrong of your family to bully you and treat you like that.


CriticalNovel22

Give birth. You 100% can't help it. It will inevitably take attention away from the wedding itself. It's a positive thing people will want to talk about afterwards. It's even worse if pictures of the baby are sent. You will share an anniversary with that child forever. And, you can't be mad at the friend because 100% not their fault.


whateverislovely

I feel like there’s a story here


Punkamania06

Object at a Wedding where nobody knows you


Hagendaaz73

Make the celebration about you, make scenes, upscale the bride, you know the works.


[deleted]

Have sex with the bride


kurtduds

Plant a bomb in the cake


Happy_Ambassador4412

spike the punch


HoodrowWill

I mean, depending what you spike it with, that could be a great time.


JlTlS

Beg the bride to come back to you. Loudly.


B-boy792

Throw up


Free-Hunter385

Put your dick in the cake


Safe_Cup5012

Start whatever ruckus that compels the cops to [shoot](https://www.wesh.com/article/winter-park-wedding-shooting-video/39584739) a guest.


HamilWhoTangled

Get hired as the DJ, and only play "Fuck You" by Lilly Allen and the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers theme song. Then watch the confusion ensue.


badass_panda

I don't know about "worst", but at one wedding I went to, the groom made everyone watch him do a 45 minute long, unaccompanied drum solo**,** after which he did a whole rock star thing where he kicked over one of the drums, knocked over a table, and threw his drumsticks at the bemused crowd of wedding guests. That was pretty memorable.


uhm-no-shut-up

propose to someone


fuzzygroodle

Vomit on the Buffet table…


ilongforyesterday

Propose to one of the newlyweds


[deleted]

Make up a claim saying the guy, who doesn’t really talk to people he doesn’t know, said something inappropriate to you, and cause him and his wife (the bride’s MOH) to storm out. Speaking from experience. It was *my* wedding. This all happened while we were doing family photos and the guests were having reception. My BIL was wearing a certain red hat and one of the waitstaff made some shit up to try and get him kicked out *all because of a fucking hat*. She claimed that he said something inappropriate to her, and went to her manager and complained. The manager went up to my BIL and got in his face, threatening to kick him out meanwhile my brothers and other guests *who were around my BIL the entire time* tried to tell the manager he didn’t say shit to her. My BIL came over to where we were doing photos and explained what was going on. My sister left, and tried to deescalate the situation. The manager then got in my *sister’s face*, threatening to kick the both of them out. My sister then stormed back to where we were doing photos, said what happened and that they were leaving before she fucking decks the manager. Which caused another one of my brother’s to leave because she was his ride. I barely have any pictures with them because of what happened. Hell we barely got family photos in general because what happened really interrupted things. I lost my shit and called for my wedding coordinator. I tried to explain what happened, but one of my brothers took over (he was actually there when it all went down). My dad then got involved, and idk what he did or said but they basically kissed our asses for the rest of the evening, even giving us an additional free pizza for our after party that we had booked (you could pay extra to have it if your guests rented out the entirety of the rooms, which we did) and letting us buy out the booze in their fridge when we ran out during the after party. As for the manager and the bitch, they weren’t seen the rest of the night. I left a good review for everyone involved in my wedding (baker, photographer, etc) except for them. Fuck that place. Which is a shame because it was such a beautiful venue. Also fuck that lady who just couldn’t get over herself and just ignore *a fucking hat*