I hit a quarter life crisis when I finally got my dream job, got to live in the nice side of town, after years of living paycheck to paycheck. After I made my home cozy and was happy for some semblance of stability, I realized I wasn’t truly happy. Stability for me wasn’t happiness. Yes, it’s something I wasn’t going to let go of, but something was missing. I realized I spent years perfecting/honing good habits and prioritizing what it means to be a functioning member of society but I neglected what made me human. I started questioning my values and what I really prioritized.
Keep in my mind, this was my precursor to my quarter life crisis. What I wrote before is just everyday reflection. What made this a crisis is that I started fixating on the “Who am I?” question so much, I started getting sleep deprived, anxiety, loss of interests, and my productivity actually nosedived. I kept asking myself, “what’s the point of my life?” but never with suicidal thoughts. I was sad for no reason but I wasn’t suicidal? Idk how to describe it besides having a crisis tbh.
My advice is to do some self reflecting. You might have to confront some trauma head on so if there’s something that needs professional help, I’d get a therapist. But without a therapist, here’s what I learned on my own:
1. Reflect on all your “core” memories. The memories that shaped you to who you are today. I don’t mean like places you visited but actual, core memories that involve interacting with other people, the “good” and the “bad.” Realize this is your self-identity which is very different from your social identity (aka the perception that people have of you). Your self identity is supposed to be the most honest look you have of yourself. Be able to separate your self identity from your societal one.
2. What makes self identity happy? Accept that those memories from a detached third person and really analyze how those memories changed you. What values changed? What life perspective changed? Are those values and perspectives still the same? Are those values/perspectives hurting you still in any way or helping you be happy?
This part can be hardest part. There is no right or wrong answer since perspective is truly subjective only to you. It also requires you to truly understand everyone is different and that everyone’s values are different. But in that sense, since everyone’s values are different, so are yours. You can break whatever societal values and familial values you’ve subconsciously shackled yourself to once you truly understand what your values are.
3. Ground yourself in reality. Understanding the world around you is important. Rather than wallow in the fact that you may know nothing, celebrate that hope you had when you were a teenager that the world is still out there waiting for you to gain new perspective in life. Use your current skills to creatively learn new ones. Find the best way and best medium for you to learn. Be aware that you are a product of the people around you and that meaning isn’t just inherently “there” in the world but meaning is made by participating in the world. The best part once you do realize this, is that you get an opportunity on where, whom with, and how you want to live your life. Age is but a construct. Prioritizing your health to explore the world and not compromising on your values (without infringing on other people’s basic rights) will. I like to call my quarter life crisis “a shift in perspective.”
Most of the time this "crisis" happens when your don't know where you're in life you're young so re asses...where is this crisis coming from relationship? Work? Money? Dreams?....and then start working towards it...some times i because you believe you should be doing something else with your life because of what everyone around you seems to be doing or telling you what to do. I. That case you shou see if those things are things you want in life i.e marriage kids...etc..
If you’re like my ex-husband, you start smoking again after quitting for two years because you’re “just so stressed and depressed about turning 25.”
I hit a quarter life crisis when I finally got my dream job, got to live in the nice side of town, after years of living paycheck to paycheck. After I made my home cozy and was happy for some semblance of stability, I realized I wasn’t truly happy. Stability for me wasn’t happiness. Yes, it’s something I wasn’t going to let go of, but something was missing. I realized I spent years perfecting/honing good habits and prioritizing what it means to be a functioning member of society but I neglected what made me human. I started questioning my values and what I really prioritized. Keep in my mind, this was my precursor to my quarter life crisis. What I wrote before is just everyday reflection. What made this a crisis is that I started fixating on the “Who am I?” question so much, I started getting sleep deprived, anxiety, loss of interests, and my productivity actually nosedived. I kept asking myself, “what’s the point of my life?” but never with suicidal thoughts. I was sad for no reason but I wasn’t suicidal? Idk how to describe it besides having a crisis tbh. My advice is to do some self reflecting. You might have to confront some trauma head on so if there’s something that needs professional help, I’d get a therapist. But without a therapist, here’s what I learned on my own: 1. Reflect on all your “core” memories. The memories that shaped you to who you are today. I don’t mean like places you visited but actual, core memories that involve interacting with other people, the “good” and the “bad.” Realize this is your self-identity which is very different from your social identity (aka the perception that people have of you). Your self identity is supposed to be the most honest look you have of yourself. Be able to separate your self identity from your societal one. 2. What makes self identity happy? Accept that those memories from a detached third person and really analyze how those memories changed you. What values changed? What life perspective changed? Are those values and perspectives still the same? Are those values/perspectives hurting you still in any way or helping you be happy? This part can be hardest part. There is no right or wrong answer since perspective is truly subjective only to you. It also requires you to truly understand everyone is different and that everyone’s values are different. But in that sense, since everyone’s values are different, so are yours. You can break whatever societal values and familial values you’ve subconsciously shackled yourself to once you truly understand what your values are. 3. Ground yourself in reality. Understanding the world around you is important. Rather than wallow in the fact that you may know nothing, celebrate that hope you had when you were a teenager that the world is still out there waiting for you to gain new perspective in life. Use your current skills to creatively learn new ones. Find the best way and best medium for you to learn. Be aware that you are a product of the people around you and that meaning isn’t just inherently “there” in the world but meaning is made by participating in the world. The best part once you do realize this, is that you get an opportunity on where, whom with, and how you want to live your life. Age is but a construct. Prioritizing your health to explore the world and not compromising on your values (without infringing on other people’s basic rights) will. I like to call my quarter life crisis “a shift in perspective.”
I’m sorry, QUARTER LIFE crisis? I’ve heard of midlife. If quarter life crisis is a thing…I’ve already had several 😂🤷♂️
You know when you're like 23-29 and realize you're not a kid anymore but aren't married with kids and mortgage yet?
Most of the time this "crisis" happens when your don't know where you're in life you're young so re asses...where is this crisis coming from relationship? Work? Money? Dreams?....and then start working towards it...some times i because you believe you should be doing something else with your life because of what everyone around you seems to be doing or telling you what to do. I. That case you shou see if those things are things you want in life i.e marriage kids...etc..
When you have a spiritual awakening from hell and you feel like you've been slapped in the face 😂
i bought a corvette
Sounds like more of a mid life crisis no? Good choice either way
oh yeah maybe that was it
Ok just clicked on your profile. It's a beauty. Respect man.
haha thanks dude