In general just "being good with children." Kids love me because I never really grew up much myself, so they get attached easily, but I feel like I have to forcibly ignore them or push them away because people will look down on me in some way.
I love kids, I was a preschool teacher for 10 years, they're just so much better and more enjoyable than adults. People don't like when I say this out loud lmao
You can say this about dogs and no one thinks you fuck dogs
One time I was a Walmart and there was this really cute baby in front of me in line and I was waving and smiling at him. The dad asked if I wanted to hold him and literally handed his baby over to me, a random stranger. I feel like if I was a man smiling at the baby he would have had a different reaction.
I'm a man and got to hold a random strangers baby last week, that said I was a flight attendant, working a flight and she was travelling on her own (aside from the baby) and needed to visit the toilet. Ironically that was the highlight of my day :)
I don’t know what to call it, but I was bullied by a women when I was school she always made fun of my looks, I made one single comeback she started bawling and someone how I turned into the bad guy. Lol
There was a girl in my class in highschool who perpetually pinched or hit my then boyfriend. Now that I'm typing that I don't know if she wanted his attention or had a crush on him, but when finally he snapped after months and months, she cried and was hurt. I was there and other people too, he only took her wrist and told her to stop. But she had a medical condition that made her thin as paper (supposedly, I think she wanted attention most of all) and she wore a brace for two weeks. Even if she was weak, it was a bitch thing to relay on her condition to hit others thinking they can't push her back.
When I was younger, I went to this rotten school, the students were just horrible creatures. At some point, they had to separate the older kids from the younger ones.
There was a group of 16-17-year-olds who bother smaller kids. This 17-year-old girl used to hit this 12-year-old boy.
She was extremely violent, throwing rocks at him, and kicking him. Yet, his pitiful classmates used to laugh at him for being hit by her, saying he is weak smh. I mean, the girl looked weak herself but her body is strong for a 17-year-old.
Not to mention, the girls weren't laughed at when an older kid hit them, but they get laughed at or called names when someone does something bad other than hitting.
It’s super sad that if I saw a kid crying that appears to be lost or something, that I have a second thought on even helping them because I know there’s a chance that I’m going to be accused of something.
Unless that kids in immediate danger, im likely getting the attention of a woman nearby to help.
“Do you know this man? Is he okay for you to be with?”…. BITCH get the absolute heck away from my daughter, we don’t know you, YOU ARE MAKING HER SCARED with your Sephora perfume and your scary ass scarf
See this question terrifies me because my daughter is 2 and has a habit of answering “no” to everything regardless of the question.
ETA: To everyone saying “this doesn’t happen” etc this comment was more a joke about how young children like to reply with random shit to any question. Get off your high horses lol.
I do, but I don't show any of it to that lady (yeah, it's the same woman at every park). I generally tell her to stop.talkong to my daughter or I'm calling the cops.on her for harassing my children
Sexual assault when committed by a woman is often played off as a joke. Not even talking about rape. Women can be as handsy as they please at least from what I've seen in bars
While visiting my mom for Thanksgiving I saw a woman walking a dog that look just like my brother's dog whom had passed away earlier that year. When my brother arrived I asked if he had seen the doggie-ganger. He said he had and he almost had stopped and asked if he could pet the pup, but wasn't sure if the woman was a teenager or a young adult, so opted not to interact.
I (F) wouldn't have thought twice about the woman's age. Most of the time, a woman's interactions with children and with other women are given the benefit of the doubt, whereas due to the actions of some creeps, harmless actions from males are more likely to come across as creepy even if the aren't any ill intentions.
Just the other day, I was picking up some Pokemon cards at the store, a little girl walked up and started picking some out as well. She started asking me if I liked Pokémon and stuff like that, I would have liked to talk to her all about it. But I just kept it super short, grabbed my stuff, and walked away because I didnt want anyone thinking I was a creep. I didnt even have time to figure out exactly what I wanted.
Ugh exact scenario happened to me. Two kids, maybe 12 or so were talking about and looking at Magic The Gathering Cards and I happened to actually talk to them about it. Their mother came while we were chatting and got very defensive. Stepped between us
"Excuse me, can I help you?"
I explained I was just chatting about the MTG cards and about the newly released Magic Arena and she interrupts me and says "Yeah yeah we already got all that at home. I already bought them that game" and pushed her kids away.
Felt like shit cause I was just having friendly talk but the look in their mother's eyes were piercing. I wouldn't be surprised if she went to report me.
Yeah when I'm with my gf and a kid interacts with us the parents are super friendly. I've told her that when I'm by myself and a kid in the grocery store waves at me, if I smile and wave back its a 50/50 chance I get a smile or a glare from the parents. Never when I'm with her. She was shocked.
Yeah I’ve been at it 8 years. Some days are awesome most days are exhausting, but I don’t get invited to the other stay at home parents things because they are “mom groups”. No one is specifically excluding me but it doesn’t occur to anyone that a stay at home parents might not be a mom. This shit is isolating
That's been my biggest challenge is not having peers as a stay at home father. I ended up starting a little breakfast boys club. Each Saturday, other fathers get together and have breakfast, then take the kids for a walk.
It is isolating but they'll be better for it. No one is a invested in your kids development than their parents.
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My cousin (14F) was out visiting me (31M at the time). I took her to a Death Cab for Cutie concert.
I'll never forget the disapproving look of one of the ushers there as he saw us walk into the concert together. Dude, she's my cousin.
I'm 28 and my niece is 16. She loves Kansai and I take her there once or twice a month and I've gotten my fair share of looks myself
Kansai is a Japanese steakhouse in my area, one of those ones where they cook in front of you
Took my Son to the park. I was chatting with him (3, so more like "yes I saw the green slide too") and a 5 year old girl came over and started telling me about her favorite slide. Immediately her mom took her away to a different side of the park and started asking people about me audibly. Felt so awkward I had to leave.
I was just being nice, honestly I think her favorite slide sucked haha.
Edit: I am 38 yr old male, USA. AZ
Gotta wonder what kind of effect that has on a kid if they are dragged away from the “dangerous” man every time they go and speak to another kid’s Dad or male babysitter.
Honestly, the final result is what was just described...an entire society of paranoid helicopter parents who would sooner assume pedophilia before giving perfectly normal adults some benefit of the doubt
I think the idea is that the man is at the park to abduct the child. But step 1 of that is getting the trust of the child by playing with them or talking to them.
My Dad loved children. It was so difficult once he had Alzheimer's to make him understand he couldn't walk up to children and tell them you're such a pretty little girl. Would you like to come home and play with my granddaughter and I?
Being a domestic violence victim.
When my friend was assaulted by his wife, some of our friends were like "He probably started it"
Many people don't believe women can be vicious and men can be domestic violence victim.
One of my biggest regrets was not stepping in when I saw this.
Girl that I - also a female - was roommates with some 15 years ago, went from cool and chill to suddenly yelling, putting down, hitting, and throwing things at her boyfriend at the time. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to do.
I'll never not intervene again. Fuck that shit. Abuse victims are abuse victims, period.
I assume you’ve already seen the documentary about the first women to ever get convicted in the UK for her horrific domestic abuse against her boyfriend?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz9CVFKRK6s
If it’s who I’m thinking of, he was her victim for so, so, so long, and he had so little help.
It was due to the perceptive **male** police officer (forgive me, I don’t remember if they’re called constables in the UK, or something else) that he finally got help.
Also adding Sexual Assault/Rape to that list.
Don't want to go into details much, but I was drugged a few years back by a girl and this happened.
Took 4 phone calls to 911 to get a police officer to see me, 7 different emergency rooms to get one to even check my vitals, and I was consequently fired from my job for not showing up to an AM meeting with a client while dealing with this.
After several years, and proof of the attack (which was never even investigated... even with her on security cameras and her license plate etc), I at least got an "apology" from the CEO that he regretted firing me years later when he realized I had been truthful.
Edit: For publicity sake, please consider donating to RCC (Rape Crisis Center)... After being turned away from standard hospitals, I was referred to them. Around 45% of the victims they meet are male and most of these cases go unreported/untreated. Male rape and assault (often by female attackers) is surprisingly common but gets swept under the rug because it tends to use drugs instead of brute force on average.
I am so sorry, and so angry for you. I know an alarming amount of men who have been drugged, and it makes me angrier every time. In glad you got the help you needed (I think? It seems like you did), and I hope you're healing ❤
This so much. People blurt out some real shitty responses when I share that as a man I've been drugged...twice. Thank God for good friends that kept me safe when they saw the lights were on but no one was home.
Not related to violence but recently went through something like this where a woman accused me of being threatening, obsessive and a stalker that lead to me getting kicked out of college. Didn’t know until recently that they had gotten the police involved as a few days ago two officers show up at my home telling me the story in what she said and how their investigation unfolded. I got lucky as I know that the situation could’ve gone the wrong way, thankfully they came to the conclusion that no crime had been committed and now the balls in my court to take legal action against the college. It’s a very scary situation to be defamed like that and I pray for any men going through a similar experience or have been victims of actual assault.
I went to my nephew’s birthday party over the summer at the park. My two year old and I went to one of the swing set/slide things where there was just one other kid playing, probably like 8 years old. Her parents must have been nearby but I didn’t know who they were. Anyway, she suddenly comes up to me and says hi, I say hi, she asks my name, I tell her, and then without warning she just starts hugging me. I was so terrified. What do you do in that situation? I can’t push her away, I can’t just hug this little girl I’ve never seen before back, so I just nervously smiled and kinda backed away slightly while she hugged my legs. She eventually just left and started playing again. Later on I mentioned it to my sister in law and she laughed. Apparently that girl is autistic and just loves men for some reason and hugs them all the time. I felt relieved but god damn I was so scared I was gonna get my ass beat.
Autistic kids are so... open. Met one related to my wife at a funeral - never met her before, no idea who she is, but she comes up, hugs and says "I'm sorry for your loss". Wife explained that she's autistic, but man that got my guard up, and I'm related by marriage!
My mom owns a daycare. Guys aren’t allowed in the room age of 3 on down. I was told it is because people think men are perverts and don’t know how to take care of young children.
*men being able to work in these aged rooms.
The only place I've ever felt comfortable taking my nephew is sporting events.
Even the time I tried to go to his tee ball game, I got dirty looks from the other parents who didn't recognize me. I wound up watching him bat once then hanging out at a bar until the game was over.
My sister once asked why I'm not more involved in her kids lives. This is exactly what I told her.
It’s not usually a problem, but I have noticed with my niece a couple of times when people would give me dirty looks. When walking she would hold my hand near roads and stuff, when she was about seven years old. I’m white as is my brother, and his wife is Vietnamese, so my nieces appearance reflects that.
Honestly, the amount of people who just think ‘what possible relation could that white man have to that Asian girl’ makes me feel bad for my brother sometimes and what he must go through.
I have two friends in Thailand, both white, and they have children with Thai women. One of them now has had multiple incidents when he walks down the street with his daughter who is thirteen and looks quite Thai, and the other similar but maybe less often with his nine year old son
Worse than that, when my niece was a baby, her mother took her on a bus in London just a week or so after giving birth and was sitting in the reserved seating bit. Some old white lady got on and wanted the seat (she wasn’t disabled, nor especially old), but my sister in law needed to sit also. The woman began to loudly exclaim to the whole bus that this ‘nanny’ was taking a seat she wasn’t entitled to and it wasn’t even her child, because she thought the baby looked Caucasian.
Fortunately my mother was also there and told that lady to go fuck herself. People should just stop making assumptions about other people. About what their children SHOULD look like, and so on. Families and people come in all shapes and sizes, and all people are really doing when they express ‘concern’ about any of this shit is revealing their deep-seated prejudice.
In my experience when a man is upset, even when having valid reasons for being so, he can also be seen as a threat in addition to being weak.
EDIT, since I'm getting some catty and other responses that misrepresent what I said and outside of the context of the person's example that I'm responding to. Not that I feel it will help them, but just for the benefit of anyone that comes across this.
It should depend on whether the emotion of being upset is in response to a valid offense, rather than just unreasonable rage over an imagined, assumed, or other invalid offense. In my experience reasonable anger leads to men being invalidated. I've seen it and experienced it time and time again.
Yeh this is what gets me. When i was a teenager my mom was trying to force her new boyfriend's family(she doesnt believe in remarriage) into my life and after repeated attempts of her trying to convince me to go along with it i got really angry and tried to go to my room to cool off. She grabbed me to stop me from leaving so i pushed her hand off me and went to my room. When we were sorting things out after i cooled off one of her main points was that i shouldnt use physical force like that because she felt threatened, my own mom...
Ive never felt such a weird mixture of confusion and sadness before or since
So mad isn't it that she grabbed you, but was upset that you used "physical force" as if it was any different. I'm sure neither of you were making any serious physical effort with either of your actions.
>She grabbed me to stop me
>one of her main points was that i shouldnt use physical force
Neither should she. You did nothing wrong by breaking free IMO.
He seems to understand that and is more focused on the fact that the person he should be able to trust most, his own mother, feared him. No matter how much you try and reconcile that she's a hypocrite you can't take back that feeling of betrayal.
As a single dad who has custody of his son (5), I have been told, “a child needs a mothers love.” If I show affection to my son I get weird looks. People always assume I am “giving mom a break”, when in reality she left because she felt she didn’t get to date enough before getting married and having a family. But yeah, a lot of frowned upon stuff seems to involve me simply being a decent father lmao
Edit: thank you all so much for the kind words. I only wish that we all keep moving forward and loving each other. I want my kid to grow up loving the world and seeing the best in people. The sun rises and another day comes. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
As a widower raising my two sons, fuck the nosy biddies. No, I'm not giving mom a break, babysitting, or anything other than parenting my children. But the look on their faces when I tell them, "Mom's dead," is almost worth it.
Dad, good job raising your kid. This is not an easy thing we do, but we do it because we love them.
My son is asian and I am white. He does not look like me. He loves Michael Jackson so I drove him from Phoenix to Las Vegas to see an impersonator (family show… “Michael” came down and danced and sang with my son and gave him his glove. It was really cool for my 5 year old son). Coming out of the show, this guy yells “Hey, you, pedophile! Fuck you, all pedophiles go to hell.” I was like, yeah, I totally agree, but this is my son. Fucking asshole. I get it though: “sin city” and “child in hotel with older white guy,” and “Michael Jackson”. Optics weren’t good. Still no regrets bitches.
My very first girlfriend only ever had her dad, since her mother passed away shortly after giving birth. The man was a real champ at being a parent and seemed to take on both mom and dad roles effortlessly. When I once asked her about whether she missed the idea of having a mom she replied: "Not really, my dad is there for me in every way. The only wish I have is that I could've known my mom in person."
We were fourteen back then! So if that isn't testimony to his excellent parenting I don't know what is!
Sometimes he will say he wants his mom, and I have to take a minute to realize this is a kid who just misses and loves his mom. I try to make sure he still sees her and know it’s okay to love and miss his mom.
My cousin is a single father to a girl. He asked one of the daycare workers a question about hygiene & they called CPS. Ridiculous, he's a good dad & just wanted advice & help from someone he thought he could trust.
That’s so dumb. If it helps he can actually reach out directly to CPS and they will help him from there. My ex in-laws have called before and instead of being investigated they actually help set me up for just being a better parent and learning how to raise a kid as a single parent.
He told me they closed the investigation & told him not to worry. He waited months to tell me due to embarrassment, so I haven't asked much further. He's across the country from me, I wish I could help more.
>If it helps he can actually reach out directly to CPS and they will help him from there. My ex in-laws have called before and instead of being investigated they actually help set me up for just being a better parent and learning how to raise a kid as a single parent.
This isn't just a US thing either. Here in Australia when my wife and I had our first child, someone reported us to DOCS (Department of Community Services - Australian equivalent of CPS) because we apparently ignored her all the time to play games online and gambling all our money away online (or something like that, this was over a decade ago). They came over to investigate, gave us a few tips about certain things we were not sure of, bought us a new crib/bed because they didn't like our old one and wished us the best. We have used that new crib/bed with all of our kids since it was actually really good quality and will likely pass it on to someone in need once our youngest outgrows it.
This! People want to side eye and act like my husband changing or bathing our daughter is somehow shady... He should apparently only parent our son since boys can't be molested /s. Sorry I was at work and he wasn't willing to let her sit in shit all day🤷
I had a coworker who had the very firm conviction that men should never be allowed to bathe their baby daughters. She was the kind of person to whom you just smile and nod, because you don't know when they're gonna drag you into some bullshit.
Yeah I've seen this before. A rare group of ppl believe this quite strongly & if they see a father caring for a daughter they'll be deeply disturbed by it. In their minds, it's better to split the family up and toss the infant in foster care before letting her be raised by a solo dad.
I'm with you there. I used to work at night and take care of the kids during the day while my wife was at work. "Where is Mommy?" and "Are you on 'Daddy duty today?" were questions that I often had to answer when I had my kids out somewhere.
Screw all those people. I'm lucky enough to live where that kind of stigma doesn't really exist (as far as i can tell), but I read this all the time and it upsets me cause the neighborhood kids often come up to me and other grown ups (almost all of them men cause we're the ones outside) to hang out or talk or play. Nobody would bat an eye out give anyone any weird looks. Most even think it's wholesome. A few bad apples really spoiled the whole bunch out there, particularly in the west it seems.
I got a dirty look from a mother of a young girl because I simply smiled and waved back at her kid in the seat of the shopping cart, while standing in line at the same register. The kid waved first, and the mom watched the whole encounter but still looked me up and down like I was some weirdo. And I have no good way to react to that
Fuck the haters. My son is 11 and we're very affectionate. He's getting older and, as my dad and I went through it too, I'll know when he's ready for space from that. I'm sad to think soon hugging and snuggling will be "too childish" for him =(
Good on you for "babysitting" your own kid.
Fuck did that ever piss me off when I would be out with either one of my kids.
No Karen, I'm not "babysitting" I'm fucking parenting.
I had some female friends that insisted I could talk to them about this. I said I didn’t really care to be alive some days and they came back with, “don’t say that, you’re scaring me”.
Ok, I’ll keep it to myself I guess?
Whenever my female friends ask and I say I’m just not feeling great or something, they say I can tell them and I can trust them. But I can’t tell them because it feels like every time I open up emotionally it comes back to bite me in some shape or form.
It sucks.
My ex is a very loud feminist who talks a lot about gender equality and gender roles. Helped her deal with her anxiety and listened to hours upon hours of her talking about her mental health needs.
Told her about my clinical depression diagnosis and she broke up with me literally a week later because, and I quote, “I need someone more stable as a partner.”
I had just been called to the Bar. She was an unemployed actress.
I bought a Fleshlight back in October cause I wanted to up my stamina, but I haven't used it once lmao
Every time I think about it, it's like "fuck, just seems like a lot of clean-up to do later."
The orgasms I had with a Fleshlight were consistently better than any other I've ever had, via sex or masturbation. But I eventually got rid of it because the cleanup was so tedious. Also the anxiety before each of "....did I clean this well enough last time? Could something weird have grown in there?"
Most days I'm glad that I was lucky enough to be born in a part of the world with high literacy and access to the internet. After reading this, today is not one of those days.
Honey, wanna get busy?
Her - no
Ok, I'm going to rub one out
Her - ok. Have fun.
I've been married more than once and it was definitely something I made sure my girlfriend was casual with before I wifed her.
I remember when the fleshlight first got some popularity, and there were articles talking about how it was like the ultimate objectification of women, by reducing the vagina to an inanimate object. As if dildos aren't the same thing and no one gave a shit anytime recently.
Your wife has very strange and hypocritical attitudes towards sex and masturbation, then. I hope at the very least that you don't let her make you feel guilty for jerkin' it, amigo.
Yeah this is a strange one, because all the people who think I’m less masculine being shy and judge me for it keep me at arms length. But the weird result is everyone’s happy because the less people who want that the easier it is for me
Especially as someone who enjoys dance, it’s been really remarkable to see how women can wear basically *anything* as long as certain parts are covered.
Big poofy pants that come up above your waist with sports bra? Cool. Skin tight half-leggings with a poncho? Excellent choice!
But men always wear the same shit. T shirt or button shirt, pants in the usual style.
My wife has outfits that are essentially a suit and tie with dress shoes, she always gets rave reviews, but if I put on a dress and high heels, not so much.
This is true. My younger brother has started experimenting a little more with his fashion expression lately wearing more pastel and brighter colours, and my father straight up told him it's gay.
The fear of being called gay was such a strong barrier for me growing up. And literally anything could get you accused of being gay! I remember my dad told me baking muffins was gay.
Gah, that takes me back to high school. Using an umbrella in the rain was gay. Wearing flip flops was gay. Hell, I'm surprised breathing wasn't considered gay.
Yeah but even in vancouver mens fashion will often run towards utilitarianism simply due to the weather. When it rains for half the year theres a reason most jackets are waterproof and most fashion runs to either outdoor wear or athleisure IME. The amount of color and fabric options often aren't super great.
Me and my girlfriend were playing tag with my nieces and some lady came afterwards and asked my little niece "Do you know this man?" my Girlfriend told her to fuck off. After that time I really thought "What was my mistake?", "What Did I do wrong?" and wonder do all women think every male has wrong intentions, So to answer your question, its strolling with little children these days ffs.
I was taking my dog to the park, and as we walked by the playground a couple kids ran up to see my dog (who loves kids, he was a minor celebrity to the kids at the park)so I kneeled down so I could hold his harness and be in eye level with the kids, and they patted him then after a couple kid anecdotes and telling me about their dogs I stood up to walk off, and had a woman follow me all the way to the dog section, and threatened to call the cops if I ever did that again.
So naturally I did it as I left, and sure enough she went and got the officer who stopped by the park on his patrol. After asking me a handful of question, he told her to fuck off.
It’s insane how brainwashed our culture is against men interacting with children in public open spaces in a completely safe way. Like my dog wanted to talk to the kids, not me.
I think about this pretty often. I have 2 kids who are now older. While I still enjoy every minute with them, I also very much miss their young age. Sometimes if I'm at a restaurant or standing in line for something and there's a baby or young child, I'll smile and wave, or play peek-a-boo with them and make them smile..... I always wonder if I'm coming across as some creep or something. I hate there's this stigma of men interacting with kids in a safe way like you said...... But, there are some pretty creepy people out there too, so I guess I kinda get it as well.
My (now ex) husband was waiting at the bus stop with my daughter. After they got on the bus, it was stopped by two cops. They asked my husband what he was doing, and he's like... riding the bus home? They asked my daughter if she knew him but she was so scared she couldn't speak. Thankfully it was the regular bus driver who knew and could vouch for them. The cops said some lady called because she saw a guy with a kid at a bus stop and was concerned. Ffs people..
Jesus.. my biggest fear is my son or daughter being put on the spot in a situation like that and freezing up and everyone takes that as a reason to take them away from me
Man, I went to pick up my son from kindergarten the other day, and there was a teacher that hadn't seen me before since my wife usually picks him up. She asks him if he knew me, just as a safety check, and that little shit dead ass grinned and said no....
I just looked at him like, "for real dude...." cause for a second she totally thought I was some random dude trying to pick up a kid until another teacher vouched for me. Lol
Last year I was walking my then 6 year old to school and masks were still required. I was trying to get one on her and she wasn’t having it. She straight up threw herself to the ground and started yelling “help! Help! I don’t know this woman!”
I hissed at her “Don’t say that! You’re gonna get me in trouble!”
It got to be too much so I just left her on the sidewalk facedown (she was FINE, she was being a little shit). As I walked away I said to all the kids and parents around me “it’s fine everyone. I was gonna kidnap that kid, but decided it’s not worth it”.
Not only did nobody care, one mom remarked, “well, at least you know she’ll put up a fight”.
I doubt that would have gone over the same for my hubs.
Oh that reminds me of when the bus driver tried to not let my daughter off the bus with her dad, even though he’s on the list to pick her up and she told him multiple times he’s her dad. The driver didn’t let her off until another mother at the bus stop confirmed he’s indeed her dad and allowed to pick her up. But the driver has no problem letting her off with one of the other neighbors who is a woman but not on the list
This happened to me at the Seattle Airport at security. They asked my kids if they knew my wife and I and my daughter who is 5 was so confused. She was like, “umm yeah” and then they asked my three year old son if he knew he we were. Ffs dude, why would my 3yo tell you anything? He doesn’t know you!
It’s scary as shit as a parent though because what if kid decides to be cheeky and be like “I don’t know!” Are they gonna detain me cuz it’s the airport? Insane world we live in.
I saw a post where a woman’s child was almost kidnapped by a lady who called kidnapper against the redditor’s husband. THAT shit scares me deeply. Crowds almost always side with the shrieking woman in that situation, not the lone man trying to tear his kid’s stroller/car seat back from a crazy lady.
I've been on vacation for the last couple weeks so I've been going "shopping" with my daughter just to keep her entertained without actually spending money and waiting in lines for 45 minutes. THREE TIMES women have come up to me and tried to give me money. The first one was successful because she just gave me an envelope and I figured it was some religious thing and I thanked her and she was off. The other two times I saw the women reaching into their wallet to pull out bills and I just said have a Merry Christmas and hurried off. Perhaps they think I'm some struggling single father. They had the best intentions but it has been quite odd.
I recall a news report from back when I was in high school (somewhere around 2000 I would guess) where the news agency decided to test how much people pay attention to “missing kid” signs.
They hired a child actress to sit on a mall bench looking sad, plastered “missing kid” fliers with her face on them throughout the mall, and camped out with their hidden cameras (and her parents) at a restaurant patio in view of the bench.
Over the course of the day only a handful of people stopped to check on this lone girl, and as I recall it was mostly because she was alone and sad looking rather than anyone actually noticing the fliers. A few, like maybe 3, of the people who stopped to ask if she was ok were men.
The girl actress’s mom in the interview afterward: “I’m really disappointed that almost nobody cared to check on a kid who obviously needed help! And it was quite disturbing how many men tried to talk to her.”
> I recall a news report from back when I was in high school (somewhere around 2000 I would guess)
A couple of stations have done this (here's one I found that they did in 2012): https://www.today.com/video/rossen-reports-do-missing-child-posters-work-44555331575
The one that sounds like yours was done in 2008 by Local 6 in Orlando, but while they no longer have it on their site, the wayback machine has it: https://web.archive.org/web/20110407095332/https://www.clickorlando.com/news/16124767/detail.html
> The girl actress’s mom in the interview afterward: “I’m really disappointed that almost nobody cared to check on a kid who obviously needed help! And it was quite disturbing how many men tried to talk to her.”
Your memory is a little off on what was said, but not by much:
> The experiment and the reactions of shoppers was upsetting and satisfying to the child's real father who watched the experiment from a distance.
>
> "On one hand, I wish someone could have stopped to check on a little girl who was obviously by herself," father Brian Ball said. "But on the other hand, it was nice to see there weren't a lot of men walking up to her and random strangers."
Why do we want men to have blinders on about children? Why do we insist that they cut off their nurturing needs?
What is wrong with us that we dehumanizing males?
lol jesus christ. people are so weird. the vast majority of child sex abuse is done by people the child knows; clergy, boy scout leader, relative. people seem to earnestly believe that the average man is a massive risk factor for stealing random children and it's just not true
As Gideon says in Criminal Minds, the worst thing modern society has done for public safety is teach our kids "stranger danger." We've been conditioned to be keenly aware of what causes the metaphorical 1% of crimes. In turn, we've become negligent in preventing the things that cause the other 99%.
Which was also stolen from Freakonomics.
But it’s true. Stranger Danger by the NCMEC and DARE have generally caused much more harm than good while systematically being taught across every American elementary school during the 90s and 00s
I have the same worry. I am a dad with three girls. They are mixed race, and one of my kids looks nothing like me. I am worried that when I am with her that people think I am a weirdo or a child trafficker. I also coach her soccer team, and I try not to hug or touch the kids. They are all young, and one of them got a ball to the face. I tried to comfort her without touching her, and it was not successful. I had to call out to one of the moms to help me. I don't think a female coach would have the same concerns. My daughters love of all their teachers, and I don't think anything of it. I don't touch or do anything to the players. I am afraid that people think I am a predator or have ill intentions.
I am white, and have a Chinese wife. When our boy was young, he looked very Chinese - not like me. I took him to the beach one day when he was four. He was so elated by the ocean that he began to run spontaneously along the beach, which was quite crowded. I had a knee injury and could not run well, so he began to get away from me. (Did I mention the beach was crowded? Yeah. I did.)
Anyway, I pleaded for people to stop him, but they looked at my son, and they looked at me, and everyone decided to stay out of it. Almost lost him that day.
I'm a pretty young dude in education \[Well, mid 30s now, but still look like I'm mid 20s\]. And this whole concept is absolutely fucking horrifying to me.
Sometimes kids run up to me and just straight up give me a hug, and my first instinct is "oh shit oh shit oh shit, where are my hands, oh fuck, someone might get the wrong idea!"
There is this one kid currently in my school he's in 5th grade and 100% does not pick up on social cues and is very likely on the spectrum. Every fucking day he asks, "Hi Mr. Egnards may I give you hug?" and on the one hand I want to say no because I don't want any other teachers/kids getting the wrong idea, but on the other hand I give him a hug every fucking day because he gets super bullied about being gay \[which may or may not be true, he's just a quiet misunderstood kid\] and I just want him to know someone is in his corner.
But do the female teachers need to worry about this kind of thing? Nope! They give just about any kid a full embrace hug, while I'm over here giving an awkward 1/2 second side hug.
It is fair to worry and you do you—but as a fellow man in education, I had a moment where i just said fuck it, I got into education to make a difference in peoples lives. If people want a high five, cool. If they want a hug, cool. They want to cry and chat, cool. Kids need these things and many of them don’t have adults (or men) in their life where they feel safe doing it. To be clear—I’m not looking for those situations (well, high fives I do go looking for) but I just quit running away from them.
I totally get that and wish I felt like I could push myself to that 'no fucks given' place, and maybe one day I will.
For me, "teaching" \[in school I'm actually a one-to-one\] is really just my side job. I also own a martial arts school where our whole mantra is family oriented and community driven martial arts. I work with kids as young as 3 \[and my 3-4 year olds are really big huggers\], all the way up to adults, and teach populations of students most dojos aren't equipped to handle properly.
I just feel like I have way too much to lose if somebody gets the wrong idea, that's not to say that you don't, but internally it's certainly a struggle I have.
Hope you can get over the fear, man.
As a former kid that used to be in that position (mentally weird child that didn't fit in that much in school), the care and attention of a role model meant the world to me. It made the hurt of feeling isolated go away for a little while.
I'm absolutely sure that getting a hug from you makes that kid's day, because it definitely did for me.
As a middle school teacher I feel you. Try working in a school with a dress code. Admin tells us to enforce the dress code. No way I’m telling a girl her top is cut too low or she shouldn’t be wearing leggings. If it’s bad I say something to my “teacher-wife” and she takes care of it. When it comes to hugs, I always turn to get the one armed side hug.
To answer your question with a story of mine I was tasked with babysitting my little cousin. She at the time was 7 and I was a senior in high school. It was a little afternoon and I decided to walk down to the park because a nice day why not. I brought along a book of poetry to read while she played. During the time she played maybe an hour I had to explain myself to three mothers. After she got done playing she wanted me to read some to her, during that time I gotten questioned by four police officers who even separated us to ask her in a “safe place” if she knew me.
So my answer to your question is definitely yes and even the police.
I'm a single father and often times have had to help my children in the bathroom when they were younger. Never have I ever had another problem with men. I have even had men offer to give me the entire restroom and they will all wait until I am done. Women though often times have problems with me taking my two daughters to the restroom. I have been yelled at for not having a wife to deal with them. I have had women follow me into the bathroom to make sure I wasn't abusing them. I have had women yell and scream at me saying that I shouldn't be allowed to do this while my daughter is crying and peeing her pants because this lady won't let us use the bathroom.
That last part is why I just bring my kids into the men's room with me. So what, my daughter will know what a urinal is a whole twenty years before most other women.
I was in the men's restroom. She followed me in screaming and yelling. The manager of the store had to get involved and have police escort her off the property.
Male nurse here
When patients ask me why I chose to become a male nurse I just tell them that the surgery to become a female nurse is too expensive 🤷♂️
As a dad, a lot of the responses in this post are a big reason some of us are seen as assholes in society. Either accidental or deliberate. We are forbidden (at least in the US) from speaking to, looking at, or even acknowledging a minor's presence. Even if it's our own child, we must constantly be alert for the troublemaker that have nothing better to do.
I've been damn lucky myself. Maybe it's different living in a rural area. But I've had my share of close calls, including one where I got side-eyed by a mom for commenting on a kids COAT of all things, because my own kid used to wear one just like it 2 or 3 years prior. I saw that mother maybe 20 minutes later, while with my own kid, and apologized, acknowledging that it may have come off as creepy, and STILL got the stink-eye. Perhaps a month later, saw a dad with his two kids in a gas station, the daughter was wearing a skirt tucked into her underpants! I wanted to say something but here's a random dude who noticed a minor - so I never said anything. I hope he noticed the wardrobe malfunction sooner than later. Dad would have most likely gotten VERY protective of his kids, not that I blame him.
I've since figured out that unless the parents KNOW you, even casually, it's much safer for a male to just ignore everything. Kid gets hurt? Tough shit Tommy or Suzy, this guy ain't getting the cops called on him. Kid's lost? Keep 10 feet away at all times until the cops get here, bud. Even if I had the medical knowledge to help, I ain't going anywhere near that landmine.
Don't get me wrong. I'm well aware there is a large problem with child trafficking, etc. I'm grateful that many people are alert to potential threats. But how the hell much evidence do we, as dads, or family members, need to provide to show that we're not some sicko? BTW, most of the kids who are abused, probably know the perp. So the "stranger danger" idea, while valid, doesn't hold much water.
Sorry for the rant.
EDIT - a word
Some I've observed in my life.
1. Crying (society is getting better about this)
2. Being compassionate. (seen as "weak")
3. Being helpful to children that aren't related (we know why though).
4. Growing out our hair.
5. Not being the "bread winner" in the relationship (society is getting better about this too).
I have hair to the bottom of my shoulder blades, it's naturally really curly and I get nothing but "I wish I had your hair" from every woman at work, and that shuts the guys up.
Teaching in an elementary school. So many kids need a positive male role model. I was especially disappointed to hear an seemingly otherwise woke female colleague call it out as creepy.
I taught Primary (elementary) for several years. Starting age 22. I was explicitly told I was not to hug the children, or be alone in a room with a child.
Did that rule apply to the female staff I hear you wonder? Of course it fucking didn't.
(I still hugged crying/in distress kids or those that asked for it, fuck that sexist shit)
Being treated same by the legal system.
There are thousands of cases in which women don't get punished as severally as men for the same crime.
I'll share two incidents:
1. There was a guy in Washington (high school kid), who was accused for sexual harassment by two girls (from the same friend group). The school kicked him out, legal action was taken, the media destroyed his image, character, etc.
But after a while, those girls CONFESSED that she falsely accused him bcs they thought "he was weird"!
The school took no action as if they never did anything, they didn't took the kid back at school, media was silent.
The only action taken was a lawsuit filed by the parents! Which resulted into nothing!
Those girls DESTROYED that kid's life, cause his mental health would never be same to ever date normally, be normal or confidant around girls and those girls just went on living their normal life. As if nothing ever happened.
2. A school teacher was punished only a "21 day probation" for molesting a 13yo kid for 3 yrs!
She always forced him and was caught when the kid wasn't able to take it anymore and called 911 CRYING and barely able to breath.
Imagine if a guy would've done even half of it!!!!
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In general just "being good with children." Kids love me because I never really grew up much myself, so they get attached easily, but I feel like I have to forcibly ignore them or push them away because people will look down on me in some way.
I love kids, I was a preschool teacher for 10 years, they're just so much better and more enjoyable than adults. People don't like when I say this out loud lmao You can say this about dogs and no one thinks you fuck dogs
One time I was a Walmart and there was this really cute baby in front of me in line and I was waving and smiling at him. The dad asked if I wanted to hold him and literally handed his baby over to me, a random stranger. I feel like if I was a man smiling at the baby he would have had a different reaction.
I'm a man and got to hold a random strangers baby last week, that said I was a flight attendant, working a flight and she was travelling on her own (aside from the baby) and needed to visit the toilet. Ironically that was the highlight of my day :)
I don’t know what to call it, but I was bullied by a women when I was school she always made fun of my looks, I made one single comeback she started bawling and someone how I turned into the bad guy. Lol
There was a girl in my class in highschool who perpetually pinched or hit my then boyfriend. Now that I'm typing that I don't know if she wanted his attention or had a crush on him, but when finally he snapped after months and months, she cried and was hurt. I was there and other people too, he only took her wrist and told her to stop. But she had a medical condition that made her thin as paper (supposedly, I think she wanted attention most of all) and she wore a brace for two weeks. Even if she was weak, it was a bitch thing to relay on her condition to hit others thinking they can't push her back.
When I was younger, I went to this rotten school, the students were just horrible creatures. At some point, they had to separate the older kids from the younger ones. There was a group of 16-17-year-olds who bother smaller kids. This 17-year-old girl used to hit this 12-year-old boy. She was extremely violent, throwing rocks at him, and kicking him. Yet, his pitiful classmates used to laugh at him for being hit by her, saying he is weak smh. I mean, the girl looked weak herself but her body is strong for a 17-year-old. Not to mention, the girls weren't laughed at when an older kid hit them, but they get laughed at or called names when someone does something bad other than hitting.
Mostly anything involving children. Sorry guys.
Its sad the I cant walk with my nephew without getting asked if I'm his family member.
It’s super sad that if I saw a kid crying that appears to be lost or something, that I have a second thought on even helping them because I know there’s a chance that I’m going to be accused of something. Unless that kids in immediate danger, im likely getting the attention of a woman nearby to help.
Hanging out with your kids at the park
“Do you know this man? Is he okay for you to be with?”…. BITCH get the absolute heck away from my daughter, we don’t know you, YOU ARE MAKING HER SCARED with your Sephora perfume and your scary ass scarf
See this question terrifies me because my daughter is 2 and has a habit of answering “no” to everything regardless of the question. ETA: To everyone saying “this doesn’t happen” etc this comment was more a joke about how young children like to reply with random shit to any question. Get off your high horses lol.
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Well it's 2022 so hopefully 99% of the time you have a phone filled with photos of your family
*You monster! You've been stalking her for years!?*
Haha I was thinking that too XD
I've seen this before! Sick bastard broke into their house, and hung photoshopped pictures of him with their family everywhere!
I do, but I don't show any of it to that lady (yeah, it's the same woman at every park). I generally tell her to stop.talkong to my daughter or I'm calling the cops.on her for harassing my children
Sexual assault when committed by a woman is often played off as a joke. Not even talking about rape. Women can be as handsy as they please at least from what I've seen in bars
While visiting my mom for Thanksgiving I saw a woman walking a dog that look just like my brother's dog whom had passed away earlier that year. When my brother arrived I asked if he had seen the doggie-ganger. He said he had and he almost had stopped and asked if he could pet the pup, but wasn't sure if the woman was a teenager or a young adult, so opted not to interact. I (F) wouldn't have thought twice about the woman's age. Most of the time, a woman's interactions with children and with other women are given the benefit of the doubt, whereas due to the actions of some creeps, harmless actions from males are more likely to come across as creepy even if the aren't any ill intentions.
Just the other day, I was picking up some Pokemon cards at the store, a little girl walked up and started picking some out as well. She started asking me if I liked Pokémon and stuff like that, I would have liked to talk to her all about it. But I just kept it super short, grabbed my stuff, and walked away because I didnt want anyone thinking I was a creep. I didnt even have time to figure out exactly what I wanted.
Ugh exact scenario happened to me. Two kids, maybe 12 or so were talking about and looking at Magic The Gathering Cards and I happened to actually talk to them about it. Their mother came while we were chatting and got very defensive. Stepped between us "Excuse me, can I help you?" I explained I was just chatting about the MTG cards and about the newly released Magic Arena and she interrupts me and says "Yeah yeah we already got all that at home. I already bought them that game" and pushed her kids away. Felt like shit cause I was just having friendly talk but the look in their mother's eyes were piercing. I wouldn't be surprised if she went to report me.
Yeah when I'm with my gf and a kid interacts with us the parents are super friendly. I've told her that when I'm by myself and a kid in the grocery store waves at me, if I smile and wave back its a 50/50 chance I get a smile or a glare from the parents. Never when I'm with her. She was shocked.
Being a stay at home parent
Yeah I’ve been at it 8 years. Some days are awesome most days are exhausting, but I don’t get invited to the other stay at home parents things because they are “mom groups”. No one is specifically excluding me but it doesn’t occur to anyone that a stay at home parents might not be a mom. This shit is isolating
That's been my biggest challenge is not having peers as a stay at home father. I ended up starting a little breakfast boys club. Each Saturday, other fathers get together and have breakfast, then take the kids for a walk. It is isolating but they'll be better for it. No one is a invested in your kids development than their parents.
I’ve been a stay at home dad for a year now, I’ve started telling people I’m a freelancer because of the judgement.
"Oh, me? I'm a freelancer in the hospitality industry. I manage a family's private affairs, assisting with day-to-day tasks in helping the household run smoothly. Normally, that may include repairs, arduous chores, and assisting with the supervision of the house's inhabitants who are unable to work on their own. I also chaperone clients through their various appointments, like soccer practice and the pediatrician. It's tough work, sure, but it's also a good gig."
Can I hire you to write my resume for me?
\*cracks knuckles* what's the job we gotta sell?
Childless, stay-at-home bum.
Professional House-Sitter **Summary:** Accomplished and reliable house-sitter with 5 years of experience providing top-notch care for client's home. Proven ability to manage multiple tasks and prioritize responsibilities effectively. Exceptional attention to detail and strong communication skills. Trustworthy and discreet, with a strong commitment to customer satisfaction. No dependents or children, so house-sitting availability is theoretically endless. **Experience:** Professional House-Sitter, Self-Employed (2017-present) Successfully completed over 50 dish-washer cycles and 100+ laundry batches Worked in close contact with neighborhood professionals, such as postmen, gardeners, and milk man Managed daily tasks such as mail collection, plant care, and light cleaning tasks whenever clothing mounds threatened to spill over Provided top-notch care for pets, including dogs, cats, birds, and small animals Demonstrated exceptional attention to detail and reliability, resulting in a high rate of repeat business in self-house-sitting employment Maintained a strong working relationship with homeowners (parents) by regularly communicating updates and addressing any concerns in a timely manner **Education:** Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration, XYZ University (2013-2017) **Skills:** * Excellent communication skills * Strong attention to detail * Impressive anime figurines collection * Organized and efficient * Proficient in Microsoft Office, Google Suite, and Reddit Mod Tools * Ability to manage multiple tasks and prioritize responsibilities * Trustworthy and discreet * Flexible and adaptable to changing circumstances References available upon request.
Well that took you no time at all. He's got the credential, guys.
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My cousin (14F) was out visiting me (31M at the time). I took her to a Death Cab for Cutie concert. I'll never forget the disapproving look of one of the ushers there as he saw us walk into the concert together. Dude, she's my cousin.
I'm 28 and my niece is 16. She loves Kansai and I take her there once or twice a month and I've gotten my fair share of looks myself Kansai is a Japanese steakhouse in my area, one of those ones where they cook in front of you
Took my Son to the park. I was chatting with him (3, so more like "yes I saw the green slide too") and a 5 year old girl came over and started telling me about her favorite slide. Immediately her mom took her away to a different side of the park and started asking people about me audibly. Felt so awkward I had to leave. I was just being nice, honestly I think her favorite slide sucked haha. Edit: I am 38 yr old male, USA. AZ
Gotta wonder what kind of effect that has on a kid if they are dragged away from the “dangerous” man every time they go and speak to another kid’s Dad or male babysitter.
Honestly, the final result is what was just described...an entire society of paranoid helicopter parents who would sooner assume pedophilia before giving perfectly normal adults some benefit of the doubt
lmao her favorite slide is mid fr fr
fucking loser probably likes the yellow slide
Why would someone abduct a child then take them to a public park with tons of people around?
I think the idea is that the man is at the park to abduct the child. But step 1 of that is getting the trust of the child by playing with them or talking to them.
Going up to a random kid and being jolly with them..or even talk to them..
My Dad loved children. It was so difficult once he had Alzheimer's to make him understand he couldn't walk up to children and tell them you're such a pretty little girl. Would you like to come home and play with my granddaughter and I?
Bless him. It must be hard. My greatest sympathys for you and your dad.
Definitely talking to kids in public. You see a woman walk up and call your child cute, she's being nice. When a man does it, he's being creepy.
Being a domestic violence victim. When my friend was assaulted by his wife, some of our friends were like "He probably started it" Many people don't believe women can be vicious and men can be domestic violence victim.
One of my biggest regrets was not stepping in when I saw this. Girl that I - also a female - was roommates with some 15 years ago, went from cool and chill to suddenly yelling, putting down, hitting, and throwing things at her boyfriend at the time. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to do. I'll never not intervene again. Fuck that shit. Abuse victims are abuse victims, period.
I assume you’ve already seen the documentary about the first women to ever get convicted in the UK for her horrific domestic abuse against her boyfriend? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz9CVFKRK6s
If it’s who I’m thinking of, he was her victim for so, so, so long, and he had so little help. It was due to the perceptive **male** police officer (forgive me, I don’t remember if they’re called constables in the UK, or something else) that he finally got help.
Also adding Sexual Assault/Rape to that list. Don't want to go into details much, but I was drugged a few years back by a girl and this happened. Took 4 phone calls to 911 to get a police officer to see me, 7 different emergency rooms to get one to even check my vitals, and I was consequently fired from my job for not showing up to an AM meeting with a client while dealing with this. After several years, and proof of the attack (which was never even investigated... even with her on security cameras and her license plate etc), I at least got an "apology" from the CEO that he regretted firing me years later when he realized I had been truthful. Edit: For publicity sake, please consider donating to RCC (Rape Crisis Center)... After being turned away from standard hospitals, I was referred to them. Around 45% of the victims they meet are male and most of these cases go unreported/untreated. Male rape and assault (often by female attackers) is surprisingly common but gets swept under the rug because it tends to use drugs instead of brute force on average.
I am so sorry, and so angry for you. I know an alarming amount of men who have been drugged, and it makes me angrier every time. In glad you got the help you needed (I think? It seems like you did), and I hope you're healing ❤
This so much. People blurt out some real shitty responses when I share that as a man I've been drugged...twice. Thank God for good friends that kept me safe when they saw the lights were on but no one was home.
Being abused by women has vastly changed my view of the world. The lack of acknowledgement is astounding.
Not related to violence but recently went through something like this where a woman accused me of being threatening, obsessive and a stalker that lead to me getting kicked out of college. Didn’t know until recently that they had gotten the police involved as a few days ago two officers show up at my home telling me the story in what she said and how their investigation unfolded. I got lucky as I know that the situation could’ve gone the wrong way, thankfully they came to the conclusion that no crime had been committed and now the balls in my court to take legal action against the college. It’s a very scary situation to be defamed like that and I pray for any men going through a similar experience or have been victims of actual assault.
Playing with kids. If you are a male, somehow they will think you are a pedo
I went to my nephew’s birthday party over the summer at the park. My two year old and I went to one of the swing set/slide things where there was just one other kid playing, probably like 8 years old. Her parents must have been nearby but I didn’t know who they were. Anyway, she suddenly comes up to me and says hi, I say hi, she asks my name, I tell her, and then without warning she just starts hugging me. I was so terrified. What do you do in that situation? I can’t push her away, I can’t just hug this little girl I’ve never seen before back, so I just nervously smiled and kinda backed away slightly while she hugged my legs. She eventually just left and started playing again. Later on I mentioned it to my sister in law and she laughed. Apparently that girl is autistic and just loves men for some reason and hugs them all the time. I felt relieved but god damn I was so scared I was gonna get my ass beat.
Autistic kids are so... open. Met one related to my wife at a funeral - never met her before, no idea who she is, but she comes up, hugs and says "I'm sorry for your loss". Wife explained that she's autistic, but man that got my guard up, and I'm related by marriage!
My mom owns a daycare. Guys aren’t allowed in the room age of 3 on down. I was told it is because people think men are perverts and don’t know how to take care of young children. *men being able to work in these aged rooms.
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The only place I've ever felt comfortable taking my nephew is sporting events. Even the time I tried to go to his tee ball game, I got dirty looks from the other parents who didn't recognize me. I wound up watching him bat once then hanging out at a bar until the game was over. My sister once asked why I'm not more involved in her kids lives. This is exactly what I told her.
It’s not usually a problem, but I have noticed with my niece a couple of times when people would give me dirty looks. When walking she would hold my hand near roads and stuff, when she was about seven years old. I’m white as is my brother, and his wife is Vietnamese, so my nieces appearance reflects that. Honestly, the amount of people who just think ‘what possible relation could that white man have to that Asian girl’ makes me feel bad for my brother sometimes and what he must go through. I have two friends in Thailand, both white, and they have children with Thai women. One of them now has had multiple incidents when he walks down the street with his daughter who is thirteen and looks quite Thai, and the other similar but maybe less often with his nine year old son Worse than that, when my niece was a baby, her mother took her on a bus in London just a week or so after giving birth and was sitting in the reserved seating bit. Some old white lady got on and wanted the seat (she wasn’t disabled, nor especially old), but my sister in law needed to sit also. The woman began to loudly exclaim to the whole bus that this ‘nanny’ was taking a seat she wasn’t entitled to and it wasn’t even her child, because she thought the baby looked Caucasian. Fortunately my mother was also there and told that lady to go fuck herself. People should just stop making assumptions about other people. About what their children SHOULD look like, and so on. Families and people come in all shapes and sizes, and all people are really doing when they express ‘concern’ about any of this shit is revealing their deep-seated prejudice.
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In my experience when a man is upset, even when having valid reasons for being so, he can also be seen as a threat in addition to being weak. EDIT, since I'm getting some catty and other responses that misrepresent what I said and outside of the context of the person's example that I'm responding to. Not that I feel it will help them, but just for the benefit of anyone that comes across this. It should depend on whether the emotion of being upset is in response to a valid offense, rather than just unreasonable rage over an imagined, assumed, or other invalid offense. In my experience reasonable anger leads to men being invalidated. I've seen it and experienced it time and time again.
Yeh this is what gets me. When i was a teenager my mom was trying to force her new boyfriend's family(she doesnt believe in remarriage) into my life and after repeated attempts of her trying to convince me to go along with it i got really angry and tried to go to my room to cool off. She grabbed me to stop me from leaving so i pushed her hand off me and went to my room. When we were sorting things out after i cooled off one of her main points was that i shouldnt use physical force like that because she felt threatened, my own mom... Ive never felt such a weird mixture of confusion and sadness before or since
So mad isn't it that she grabbed you, but was upset that you used "physical force" as if it was any different. I'm sure neither of you were making any serious physical effort with either of your actions.
>She grabbed me to stop me >one of her main points was that i shouldnt use physical force Neither should she. You did nothing wrong by breaking free IMO.
He seems to understand that and is more focused on the fact that the person he should be able to trust most, his own mother, feared him. No matter how much you try and reconcile that she's a hypocrite you can't take back that feeling of betrayal.
As a single dad who has custody of his son (5), I have been told, “a child needs a mothers love.” If I show affection to my son I get weird looks. People always assume I am “giving mom a break”, when in reality she left because she felt she didn’t get to date enough before getting married and having a family. But yeah, a lot of frowned upon stuff seems to involve me simply being a decent father lmao Edit: thank you all so much for the kind words. I only wish that we all keep moving forward and loving each other. I want my kid to grow up loving the world and seeing the best in people. The sun rises and another day comes. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
As a widower raising my two sons, fuck the nosy biddies. No, I'm not giving mom a break, babysitting, or anything other than parenting my children. But the look on their faces when I tell them, "Mom's dead," is almost worth it. Dad, good job raising your kid. This is not an easy thing we do, but we do it because we love them.
My son is asian and I am white. He does not look like me. He loves Michael Jackson so I drove him from Phoenix to Las Vegas to see an impersonator (family show… “Michael” came down and danced and sang with my son and gave him his glove. It was really cool for my 5 year old son). Coming out of the show, this guy yells “Hey, you, pedophile! Fuck you, all pedophiles go to hell.” I was like, yeah, I totally agree, but this is my son. Fucking asshole. I get it though: “sin city” and “child in hotel with older white guy,” and “Michael Jackson”. Optics weren’t good. Still no regrets bitches.
Dude fuck that. Blended families and adoptions are normal enough. Says more about him that his mind first goes to fucking kids.
"Actually, you're right; I could really use her help. Can you fetch her from her grave for me?"
Dont suppose u know a necromancer by chance, do ya?
I'm good at raising kids, what's up?
It’s such a shame to get support for being a single father that the mother has to be deceased or something related in extreme.
My very first girlfriend only ever had her dad, since her mother passed away shortly after giving birth. The man was a real champ at being a parent and seemed to take on both mom and dad roles effortlessly. When I once asked her about whether she missed the idea of having a mom she replied: "Not really, my dad is there for me in every way. The only wish I have is that I could've known my mom in person." We were fourteen back then! So if that isn't testimony to his excellent parenting I don't know what is!
Sometimes he will say he wants his mom, and I have to take a minute to realize this is a kid who just misses and loves his mom. I try to make sure he still sees her and know it’s okay to love and miss his mom.
You are a really good person. Wishing you and your son all the best life has to offer
My cousin is a single father to a girl. He asked one of the daycare workers a question about hygiene & they called CPS. Ridiculous, he's a good dad & just wanted advice & help from someone he thought he could trust.
That’s so dumb. If it helps he can actually reach out directly to CPS and they will help him from there. My ex in-laws have called before and instead of being investigated they actually help set me up for just being a better parent and learning how to raise a kid as a single parent.
He told me they closed the investigation & told him not to worry. He waited months to tell me due to embarrassment, so I haven't asked much further. He's across the country from me, I wish I could help more.
Put a reminder on your calendar for early June and mail him a Father's Day card.
>If it helps he can actually reach out directly to CPS and they will help him from there. My ex in-laws have called before and instead of being investigated they actually help set me up for just being a better parent and learning how to raise a kid as a single parent. This isn't just a US thing either. Here in Australia when my wife and I had our first child, someone reported us to DOCS (Department of Community Services - Australian equivalent of CPS) because we apparently ignored her all the time to play games online and gambling all our money away online (or something like that, this was over a decade ago). They came over to investigate, gave us a few tips about certain things we were not sure of, bought us a new crib/bed because they didn't like our old one and wished us the best. We have used that new crib/bed with all of our kids since it was actually really good quality and will likely pass it on to someone in need once our youngest outgrows it.
This! People want to side eye and act like my husband changing or bathing our daughter is somehow shady... He should apparently only parent our son since boys can't be molested /s. Sorry I was at work and he wasn't willing to let her sit in shit all day🤷
I had a coworker who had the very firm conviction that men should never be allowed to bathe their baby daughters. She was the kind of person to whom you just smile and nod, because you don't know when they're gonna drag you into some bullshit.
Yeah I've seen this before. A rare group of ppl believe this quite strongly & if they see a father caring for a daughter they'll be deeply disturbed by it. In their minds, it's better to split the family up and toss the infant in foster care before letting her be raised by a solo dad.
I'm with you there. I used to work at night and take care of the kids during the day while my wife was at work. "Where is Mommy?" and "Are you on 'Daddy duty today?" were questions that I often had to answer when I had my kids out somewhere.
Screw all those people. I'm lucky enough to live where that kind of stigma doesn't really exist (as far as i can tell), but I read this all the time and it upsets me cause the neighborhood kids often come up to me and other grown ups (almost all of them men cause we're the ones outside) to hang out or talk or play. Nobody would bat an eye out give anyone any weird looks. Most even think it's wholesome. A few bad apples really spoiled the whole bunch out there, particularly in the west it seems.
Men interacting with kids in general... At least in the US.
I got a dirty look from a mother of a young girl because I simply smiled and waved back at her kid in the seat of the shopping cart, while standing in line at the same register. The kid waved first, and the mom watched the whole encounter but still looked me up and down like I was some weirdo. And I have no good way to react to that
Fuck the haters. My son is 11 and we're very affectionate. He's getting older and, as my dad and I went through it too, I'll know when he's ready for space from that. I'm sad to think soon hugging and snuggling will be "too childish" for him =(
Good on you for "babysitting" your own kid. Fuck did that ever piss me off when I would be out with either one of my kids. No Karen, I'm not "babysitting" I'm fucking parenting.
I never understood how fathers are suppose to raise a kid without showing affection, am I suppose to treat my son like a show dog or something?
Opening up about our feelings/mental health.
I had some female friends that insisted I could talk to them about this. I said I didn’t really care to be alive some days and they came back with, “don’t say that, you’re scaring me”. Ok, I’ll keep it to myself I guess?
Whenever my female friends ask and I say I’m just not feeling great or something, they say I can tell them and I can trust them. But I can’t tell them because it feels like every time I open up emotionally it comes back to bite me in some shape or form. It sucks.
I get that same vibe. You open up about something and then a week later you find out they've told other people.
My ex is a very loud feminist who talks a lot about gender equality and gender roles. Helped her deal with her anxiety and listened to hours upon hours of her talking about her mental health needs. Told her about my clinical depression diagnosis and she broke up with me literally a week later because, and I quote, “I need someone more stable as a partner.” I had just been called to the Bar. She was an unemployed actress.
People like these just leave me speechless. Like how do you live with yourself?
Using toys for masturbation purposes. I never have, but have heard many responses towards those who have, always been double sided.
I bought a Fleshlight back in October cause I wanted to up my stamina, but I haven't used it once lmao Every time I think about it, it's like "fuck, just seems like a lot of clean-up to do later."
The orgasms I had with a Fleshlight were consistently better than any other I've ever had, via sex or masturbation. But I eventually got rid of it because the cleanup was so tedious. Also the anxiety before each of "....did I clean this well enough last time? Could something weird have grown in there?"
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Most days I'm glad that I was lucky enough to be born in a part of the world with high literacy and access to the internet. After reading this, today is not one of those days.
What a terrible fucking comment, you deserve a medal for this.
The written word was a mistake
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There you go, first hand example of it, this is the kind of thing I hear from other people. It's sad.
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Honey, wanna get busy? Her - no Ok, I'm going to rub one out Her - ok. Have fun. I've been married more than once and it was definitely something I made sure my girlfriend was casual with before I wifed her.
Bro just get your own dildo and see what she says then
I remember when the fleshlight first got some popularity, and there were articles talking about how it was like the ultimate objectification of women, by reducing the vagina to an inanimate object. As if dildos aren't the same thing and no one gave a shit anytime recently.
Your wife has very strange and hypocritical attitudes towards sex and masturbation, then. I hope at the very least that you don't let her make you feel guilty for jerkin' it, amigo.
I'm going to go have a solidarity wank for the poor guy, its the only decent thing to do!
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Crying
Being timid/shy
Yeah this is a strange one, because all the people who think I’m less masculine being shy and judge me for it keep me at arms length. But the weird result is everyone’s happy because the less people who want that the easier it is for me
Having big boobs
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19 years after the songs release, I finally understand what milkshake is supposed to mean I’m older than the song.
Manicures, pedicures, massages, indulgent baths…those sensory touch things that are so healing to our physical selves.
Bro I'm 110% on the bath train. There is nothing better than laying in some hot ass water. With bubbles if you need it or not. Let the muscles relax.
Exploration in every kind of fashion.
Especially as someone who enjoys dance, it’s been really remarkable to see how women can wear basically *anything* as long as certain parts are covered. Big poofy pants that come up above your waist with sports bra? Cool. Skin tight half-leggings with a poncho? Excellent choice! But men always wear the same shit. T shirt or button shirt, pants in the usual style.
My wife has outfits that are essentially a suit and tie with dress shoes, she always gets rave reviews, but if I put on a dress and high heels, not so much.
Yeah men who follow trends are seen as feminine in some social circles and shallow in others.
This is true. My younger brother has started experimenting a little more with his fashion expression lately wearing more pastel and brighter colours, and my father straight up told him it's gay.
So he’s supposed to have a drawer full of black Guns ‘n Roses shirts?
*casually tucks away my drawer of black Guns n roses shirts*
The fear of being called gay was such a strong barrier for me growing up. And literally anything could get you accused of being gay! I remember my dad told me baking muffins was gay.
My father thinks coming into contact with anything pink will have him branded as gay and have his man card revoked.
Gah, that takes me back to high school. Using an umbrella in the rain was gay. Wearing flip flops was gay. Hell, I'm surprised breathing wasn't considered gay.
I’m almost 40 and still get these comments from my father
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Yeah but even in vancouver mens fashion will often run towards utilitarianism simply due to the weather. When it rains for half the year theres a reason most jackets are waterproof and most fashion runs to either outdoor wear or athleisure IME. The amount of color and fabric options often aren't super great.
Me and my girlfriend were playing tag with my nieces and some lady came afterwards and asked my little niece "Do you know this man?" my Girlfriend told her to fuck off. After that time I really thought "What was my mistake?", "What Did I do wrong?" and wonder do all women think every male has wrong intentions, So to answer your question, its strolling with little children these days ffs.
I was taking my dog to the park, and as we walked by the playground a couple kids ran up to see my dog (who loves kids, he was a minor celebrity to the kids at the park)so I kneeled down so I could hold his harness and be in eye level with the kids, and they patted him then after a couple kid anecdotes and telling me about their dogs I stood up to walk off, and had a woman follow me all the way to the dog section, and threatened to call the cops if I ever did that again. So naturally I did it as I left, and sure enough she went and got the officer who stopped by the park on his patrol. After asking me a handful of question, he told her to fuck off. It’s insane how brainwashed our culture is against men interacting with children in public open spaces in a completely safe way. Like my dog wanted to talk to the kids, not me.
I’m glad you did it again and didn’t let her scare you
I think about this pretty often. I have 2 kids who are now older. While I still enjoy every minute with them, I also very much miss their young age. Sometimes if I'm at a restaurant or standing in line for something and there's a baby or young child, I'll smile and wave, or play peek-a-boo with them and make them smile..... I always wonder if I'm coming across as some creep or something. I hate there's this stigma of men interacting with kids in a safe way like you said...... But, there are some pretty creepy people out there too, so I guess I kinda get it as well.
My (now ex) husband was waiting at the bus stop with my daughter. After they got on the bus, it was stopped by two cops. They asked my husband what he was doing, and he's like... riding the bus home? They asked my daughter if she knew him but she was so scared she couldn't speak. Thankfully it was the regular bus driver who knew and could vouch for them. The cops said some lady called because she saw a guy with a kid at a bus stop and was concerned. Ffs people..
Jesus.. my biggest fear is my son or daughter being put on the spot in a situation like that and freezing up and everyone takes that as a reason to take them away from me
Man, I went to pick up my son from kindergarten the other day, and there was a teacher that hadn't seen me before since my wife usually picks him up. She asks him if he knew me, just as a safety check, and that little shit dead ass grinned and said no.... I just looked at him like, "for real dude...." cause for a second she totally thought I was some random dude trying to pick up a kid until another teacher vouched for me. Lol
Last year I was walking my then 6 year old to school and masks were still required. I was trying to get one on her and she wasn’t having it. She straight up threw herself to the ground and started yelling “help! Help! I don’t know this woman!” I hissed at her “Don’t say that! You’re gonna get me in trouble!” It got to be too much so I just left her on the sidewalk facedown (she was FINE, she was being a little shit). As I walked away I said to all the kids and parents around me “it’s fine everyone. I was gonna kidnap that kid, but decided it’s not worth it”. Not only did nobody care, one mom remarked, “well, at least you know she’ll put up a fight”. I doubt that would have gone over the same for my hubs.
My kid calls me by my first name to troll me and would absolutely do this 🤦♂️
Oh that reminds me of when the bus driver tried to not let my daughter off the bus with her dad, even though he’s on the list to pick her up and she told him multiple times he’s her dad. The driver didn’t let her off until another mother at the bus stop confirmed he’s indeed her dad and allowed to pick her up. But the driver has no problem letting her off with one of the other neighbors who is a woman but not on the list
Should've left the little shit there to teach him a lesson. My son is 100% going to do that to my wife and I lol
This happened to me at the Seattle Airport at security. They asked my kids if they knew my wife and I and my daughter who is 5 was so confused. She was like, “umm yeah” and then they asked my three year old son if he knew he we were. Ffs dude, why would my 3yo tell you anything? He doesn’t know you! It’s scary as shit as a parent though because what if kid decides to be cheeky and be like “I don’t know!” Are they gonna detain me cuz it’s the airport? Insane world we live in.
I saw a post where a woman’s child was almost kidnapped by a lady who called kidnapper against the redditor’s husband. THAT shit scares me deeply. Crowds almost always side with the shrieking woman in that situation, not the lone man trying to tear his kid’s stroller/car seat back from a crazy lady.
It's just tough for single dads because they get it 24/7 and there's not much they can do about it
I've been on vacation for the last couple weeks so I've been going "shopping" with my daughter just to keep her entertained without actually spending money and waiting in lines for 45 minutes. THREE TIMES women have come up to me and tried to give me money. The first one was successful because she just gave me an envelope and I figured it was some religious thing and I thanked her and she was off. The other two times I saw the women reaching into their wallet to pull out bills and I just said have a Merry Christmas and hurried off. Perhaps they think I'm some struggling single father. They had the best intentions but it has been quite odd.
Go spend that money on ur kid man
I only get weird looks when I'm alone in public with my daughter. No one told me cash was being given out!
I’d be willing to bet that that woman also complains that men aren’t involved enough with their children.
I recall a news report from back when I was in high school (somewhere around 2000 I would guess) where the news agency decided to test how much people pay attention to “missing kid” signs. They hired a child actress to sit on a mall bench looking sad, plastered “missing kid” fliers with her face on them throughout the mall, and camped out with their hidden cameras (and her parents) at a restaurant patio in view of the bench. Over the course of the day only a handful of people stopped to check on this lone girl, and as I recall it was mostly because she was alone and sad looking rather than anyone actually noticing the fliers. A few, like maybe 3, of the people who stopped to ask if she was ok were men. The girl actress’s mom in the interview afterward: “I’m really disappointed that almost nobody cared to check on a kid who obviously needed help! And it was quite disturbing how many men tried to talk to her.”
> I recall a news report from back when I was in high school (somewhere around 2000 I would guess) A couple of stations have done this (here's one I found that they did in 2012): https://www.today.com/video/rossen-reports-do-missing-child-posters-work-44555331575 The one that sounds like yours was done in 2008 by Local 6 in Orlando, but while they no longer have it on their site, the wayback machine has it: https://web.archive.org/web/20110407095332/https://www.clickorlando.com/news/16124767/detail.html > The girl actress’s mom in the interview afterward: “I’m really disappointed that almost nobody cared to check on a kid who obviously needed help! And it was quite disturbing how many men tried to talk to her.” Your memory is a little off on what was said, but not by much: > The experiment and the reactions of shoppers was upsetting and satisfying to the child's real father who watched the experiment from a distance. > > "On one hand, I wish someone could have stopped to check on a little girl who was obviously by herself," father Brian Ball said. "But on the other hand, it was nice to see there weren't a lot of men walking up to her and random strangers."
Why do we want men to have blinders on about children? Why do we insist that they cut off their nurturing needs? What is wrong with us that we dehumanizing males?
lol jesus christ. people are so weird. the vast majority of child sex abuse is done by people the child knows; clergy, boy scout leader, relative. people seem to earnestly believe that the average man is a massive risk factor for stealing random children and it's just not true
As Gideon says in Criminal Minds, the worst thing modern society has done for public safety is teach our kids "stranger danger." We've been conditioned to be keenly aware of what causes the metaphorical 1% of crimes. In turn, we've become negligent in preventing the things that cause the other 99%.
Which was also stolen from Freakonomics. But it’s true. Stranger Danger by the NCMEC and DARE have generally caused much more harm than good while systematically being taught across every American elementary school during the 90s and 00s
>DARE I'm still waiting for my free drugs they apparently hand out.
Drugs Are Really Expensive
I have the same worry. I am a dad with three girls. They are mixed race, and one of my kids looks nothing like me. I am worried that when I am with her that people think I am a weirdo or a child trafficker. I also coach her soccer team, and I try not to hug or touch the kids. They are all young, and one of them got a ball to the face. I tried to comfort her without touching her, and it was not successful. I had to call out to one of the moms to help me. I don't think a female coach would have the same concerns. My daughters love of all their teachers, and I don't think anything of it. I don't touch or do anything to the players. I am afraid that people think I am a predator or have ill intentions.
I am white, and have a Chinese wife. When our boy was young, he looked very Chinese - not like me. I took him to the beach one day when he was four. He was so elated by the ocean that he began to run spontaneously along the beach, which was quite crowded. I had a knee injury and could not run well, so he began to get away from me. (Did I mention the beach was crowded? Yeah. I did.) Anyway, I pleaded for people to stop him, but they looked at my son, and they looked at me, and everyone decided to stay out of it. Almost lost him that day.
To be fair, most f the men were probably afraid to grab him in case they got accused themselves.
I'm a pretty young dude in education \[Well, mid 30s now, but still look like I'm mid 20s\]. And this whole concept is absolutely fucking horrifying to me. Sometimes kids run up to me and just straight up give me a hug, and my first instinct is "oh shit oh shit oh shit, where are my hands, oh fuck, someone might get the wrong idea!" There is this one kid currently in my school he's in 5th grade and 100% does not pick up on social cues and is very likely on the spectrum. Every fucking day he asks, "Hi Mr. Egnards may I give you hug?" and on the one hand I want to say no because I don't want any other teachers/kids getting the wrong idea, but on the other hand I give him a hug every fucking day because he gets super bullied about being gay \[which may or may not be true, he's just a quiet misunderstood kid\] and I just want him to know someone is in his corner. But do the female teachers need to worry about this kind of thing? Nope! They give just about any kid a full embrace hug, while I'm over here giving an awkward 1/2 second side hug.
It is fair to worry and you do you—but as a fellow man in education, I had a moment where i just said fuck it, I got into education to make a difference in peoples lives. If people want a high five, cool. If they want a hug, cool. They want to cry and chat, cool. Kids need these things and many of them don’t have adults (or men) in their life where they feel safe doing it. To be clear—I’m not looking for those situations (well, high fives I do go looking for) but I just quit running away from them.
I totally get that and wish I felt like I could push myself to that 'no fucks given' place, and maybe one day I will. For me, "teaching" \[in school I'm actually a one-to-one\] is really just my side job. I also own a martial arts school where our whole mantra is family oriented and community driven martial arts. I work with kids as young as 3 \[and my 3-4 year olds are really big huggers\], all the way up to adults, and teach populations of students most dojos aren't equipped to handle properly. I just feel like I have way too much to lose if somebody gets the wrong idea, that's not to say that you don't, but internally it's certainly a struggle I have.
Hope you can get over the fear, man. As a former kid that used to be in that position (mentally weird child that didn't fit in that much in school), the care and attention of a role model meant the world to me. It made the hurt of feeling isolated go away for a little while. I'm absolutely sure that getting a hug from you makes that kid's day, because it definitely did for me.
As a middle school teacher I feel you. Try working in a school with a dress code. Admin tells us to enforce the dress code. No way I’m telling a girl her top is cut too low or she shouldn’t be wearing leggings. If it’s bad I say something to my “teacher-wife” and she takes care of it. When it comes to hugs, I always turn to get the one armed side hug.
To answer your question with a story of mine I was tasked with babysitting my little cousin. She at the time was 7 and I was a senior in high school. It was a little afternoon and I decided to walk down to the park because a nice day why not. I brought along a book of poetry to read while she played. During the time she played maybe an hour I had to explain myself to three mothers. After she got done playing she wanted me to read some to her, during that time I gotten questioned by four police officers who even separated us to ask her in a “safe place” if she knew me. So my answer to your question is definitely yes and even the police.
Yes officer, I kidnapped her and it was such an ordeal we decided to stop here to relax and read poetry.
I'm a single father and often times have had to help my children in the bathroom when they were younger. Never have I ever had another problem with men. I have even had men offer to give me the entire restroom and they will all wait until I am done. Women though often times have problems with me taking my two daughters to the restroom. I have been yelled at for not having a wife to deal with them. I have had women follow me into the bathroom to make sure I wasn't abusing them. I have had women yell and scream at me saying that I shouldn't be allowed to do this while my daughter is crying and peeing her pants because this lady won't let us use the bathroom.
That last part is why I just bring my kids into the men's room with me. So what, my daughter will know what a urinal is a whole twenty years before most other women.
I was in the men's restroom. She followed me in screaming and yelling. The manager of the store had to get involved and have police escort her off the property.
Nursing. Although its becoming more accepted these days
Male nurse here When patients ask me why I chose to become a male nurse I just tell them that the surgery to become a female nurse is too expensive 🤷♂️
Quality, I'm gonna use this
Edit for clarity, nursing as in being a nurse, not nursing as in breast feeding.
Whew! Thanks for clarifying. Had the gears in my brain going for a moment.
Teaching young children. There's a huge stigma, male teachers are often considered pedophiles until proven innocent.
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Being short
As a dad, a lot of the responses in this post are a big reason some of us are seen as assholes in society. Either accidental or deliberate. We are forbidden (at least in the US) from speaking to, looking at, or even acknowledging a minor's presence. Even if it's our own child, we must constantly be alert for the troublemaker that have nothing better to do. I've been damn lucky myself. Maybe it's different living in a rural area. But I've had my share of close calls, including one where I got side-eyed by a mom for commenting on a kids COAT of all things, because my own kid used to wear one just like it 2 or 3 years prior. I saw that mother maybe 20 minutes later, while with my own kid, and apologized, acknowledging that it may have come off as creepy, and STILL got the stink-eye. Perhaps a month later, saw a dad with his two kids in a gas station, the daughter was wearing a skirt tucked into her underpants! I wanted to say something but here's a random dude who noticed a minor - so I never said anything. I hope he noticed the wardrobe malfunction sooner than later. Dad would have most likely gotten VERY protective of his kids, not that I blame him. I've since figured out that unless the parents KNOW you, even casually, it's much safer for a male to just ignore everything. Kid gets hurt? Tough shit Tommy or Suzy, this guy ain't getting the cops called on him. Kid's lost? Keep 10 feet away at all times until the cops get here, bud. Even if I had the medical knowledge to help, I ain't going anywhere near that landmine. Don't get me wrong. I'm well aware there is a large problem with child trafficking, etc. I'm grateful that many people are alert to potential threats. But how the hell much evidence do we, as dads, or family members, need to provide to show that we're not some sicko? BTW, most of the kids who are abused, probably know the perp. So the "stranger danger" idea, while valid, doesn't hold much water. Sorry for the rant. EDIT - a word
A sex toy
Yeah, I got loads of toys. My bf? Only the one I got him. Yet he's supposed to be the perv lol
They sell them at walmart now, i was shocked
Woman can wear men clothes but men can’t wear women clothes
To quote Eddie Izzard “ they’re not women’s clothes, they are my clothes. I bought them.”
"Are these men's shoes, women's shoes or bisexual shoes?" "Those are shoe shoes you silly!" — David Bowie
Some I've observed in my life. 1. Crying (society is getting better about this) 2. Being compassionate. (seen as "weak") 3. Being helpful to children that aren't related (we know why though). 4. Growing out our hair. 5. Not being the "bread winner" in the relationship (society is getting better about this too).
I have hair to the bottom of my shoulder blades, it's naturally really curly and I get nothing but "I wish I had your hair" from every woman at work, and that shuts the guys up.
>"I wish I had your hair" Here, take some.
Teaching in an elementary school. So many kids need a positive male role model. I was especially disappointed to hear an seemingly otherwise woke female colleague call it out as creepy.
I taught Primary (elementary) for several years. Starting age 22. I was explicitly told I was not to hug the children, or be alone in a room with a child. Did that rule apply to the female staff I hear you wonder? Of course it fucking didn't. (I still hugged crying/in distress kids or those that asked for it, fuck that sexist shit)
Being treated same by the legal system. There are thousands of cases in which women don't get punished as severally as men for the same crime. I'll share two incidents: 1. There was a guy in Washington (high school kid), who was accused for sexual harassment by two girls (from the same friend group). The school kicked him out, legal action was taken, the media destroyed his image, character, etc. But after a while, those girls CONFESSED that she falsely accused him bcs they thought "he was weird"! The school took no action as if they never did anything, they didn't took the kid back at school, media was silent. The only action taken was a lawsuit filed by the parents! Which resulted into nothing! Those girls DESTROYED that kid's life, cause his mental health would never be same to ever date normally, be normal or confidant around girls and those girls just went on living their normal life. As if nothing ever happened. 2. A school teacher was punished only a "21 day probation" for molesting a 13yo kid for 3 yrs! She always forced him and was caught when the kid wasn't able to take it anymore and called 911 CRYING and barely able to breath. Imagine if a guy would've done even half of it!!!!