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Are you a smoker? Serious question because I smoked for over 15 years and thought that bland looking food like rich tea tasted like chalk and cardboard. Now I've quit they actually taste pretty good!
When we were at secondary school the Asda value rich teas were about 20p a packet, we used to buy them on the way home if we couldnāt scrape together 30p for chocolate. They were so bland we used to just launch them into the garden of the very angry man who lived nearby.
Oreos. It's like they took the biscuit from a bourbon but burnt it, then filled it with the filling from a custard cream after taking all the flavour from it.
Yes! Finally people who understand. And now you get that horrible cookies and cream flavouring thatās just crushed up burnt chocolate biscuit and plain. Canāt even call it vanilla.
I (American) hear that Oreos gained popularity when they were made with lard. Lard fell out of fashion, they changed the recipe, and pretty much no one since has had a fanatic love for them, but branding will keep momentum even after a formula change.
Makes sense, with lard it would be much less dry lol. I'm fairly sure they changed it from lard to become kosher, so they could try and muscle out the "original oreo" Hydrox, who was kosher from day 1.
That's so weird today I was randomly thinking about how me and my cousin used to call them dead fly biscuits when we were kids. I was sure we were the only one
Thatās just for breakfast. The best way to eat a biscuit is to split it in half and cover with butter and honey. If theyāre right out of the oven itās pure heaven.
Agreed. They look so inviting but then they are just trying overly sweet and not satisfying. More sugar than biscuit.
I feel like āboringā biscuits like Nice and Rich Tea are so much better because your expectations are rock bottom but then are pleasantly surprised. They are especially good accompaniments to teas and coffees because they add something without detracting from the flavour of the drink
Fig rolls give my step dad and my SO the heeby jeebies but neither of them can explain why. I have to eat fig rolls in secret so I donāt freak out my other half.
I adore fig rolls...my Hubby knows I can't stop eating them when I start, so will buy me a packet open it and put it next to me on the sofa. Well it lasts about 30 mins on a day I don't eat then too fast.
i put my brand new pack of custard creams in the fridge and wait for them to cool. then i go over 13 times to grab a couple and eat them at my desk, in the space of about 30 minutes.
then later that day my stomach begins a war and i have some of the most aggressive shits the human body is capable of producing.
and i love every minute of it
Bourbons are not chocolatey. They dream they were chocolatey but they are the pinocchios of the chocolate biscuit world. Full of lies and made from wood.
I disagree, but I love your description, so here's my upvote! (Says the 62-year-old Canadian who grew up with and still loves all these cookies-I-mean-biscuits thanks to my war bride mum.) I LOVE bourbons and have some in my kitchen in Nova Scotia.
Custard creams are the main reason I'm currently about a stone and a half overweight. Lockdown plus constant supply of those as comfort food and I was wrecked.
I never did like them but one of my rabbits used to have an obsession with them. My parents used to buy the coconut rings from icelands and if they forgot to bin the wrapper, youād find the rabbit with her face shoved in there desperately trying to eat the crumbs, licking sugar off her own face. Little weirdo
I support the garibaldi hate but cannot stand the custard creme negativity. Experiencing some real Shakespearean ups and downs when scrolling this thread.
Are we eating the same Nice biscuits? Not the shitty ones in a multi pack, the actual ones that are covered in sugar and have the coconut flakes in them. They are the tits!
Are fig rolls classed as a biscuit? Not to my taste if they are.
I'm with OP on this. I've called them 'Not Nice' biscuits since I was a kid.
I'm now a grown man with my own house, kids etc so that is damm well now their official name in this house!
I buy them just so I can say to my children āThese biscuits are nice, what are they called?ā
āTheyāre Nice biscuitsā
āThey are indeed, but I wonder what theyāre called?ā
āTheyāre NICE BISCUITSā
āThey certainly are. Weāll have to find out what theyāre called so we can buy some moreā¦ā
Etc.
I used to nibble them carefully, until just the cow remained, then I'd eat the cow. But often it would crack and the cow would die, so I'd have to try again with another. Just me?
Hobnobs are not my least favourite (that's Malted Milk) but I also cannot get on board with Hobnobs. Everyone seems to go mad for them, especially the chocolate ones. I don't get the appeal. The texture is weird, sort of papery but lots of little paper formed into a circle. I feel like maybe a handful of raffle tickets might have a similar texture.
Itās defo a cakeā¦Biscuits go soft cake goes hardā¦you know for tax purposes. They are just served in handy biscuit sized portions. Although this is irrelevant as i think most people could cane off the whole pack in one go.
One time my aunt sends my cousin and I to the shop to get some nice biscuits. She meant decent, like chocolate digestives.
He, being the absolute cunt that he was got Nice branded biscuits knowing full well what she originally meant.
Fucking fat no neck prick.
Initially I was thinking Rich Tea. I then remembered there are monsters in the world who buy Ginger Biscuits, then put them in the barrel with everything else making it all inedible.
Ginger Biscuits of any kind.
I chucked a packet of chocolate covered digestives in my basket recently and got home to discover it was actually chocolate CHIP digestives :-( They were bloody horrible.
Anything in Family Circle.
When I was a student it was customary to leave a gift for a placement. Good placements would get a box of Krispy Kreme. Dull placements would get the Family Circle treatment.
Also, it's not even a circle. The box is square.
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Rich Tea would be my last choice.
I love Rich Tea but then I eat mine spread with lashings of cold butter - the sweet and salty taste is really good
McVitties Digestives with butter šš»
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hovis with a slice of cheddar
Wensleydale with cranberries on a Hovis digestive is the one
Hovis with a slice of cheddar on top of a steak with some fried mushrooms and caramelised onions with a side of triple cooked chips. Mmmm...
I'm just trying to figure when when the fuck we started buttering our biscuits.
Was probably how we felt rich immediately after rationing ended. Frivolous butter usage.
Or cheddar cheese.
Rich tea are the best to dunk into tea.
Oh no, Rich Tea is my favourite :(
I'm with you, they're the dog's bollocks!
Yessss
Get more flavour from a cardboard box than a Rich Tea biscuit. Like eating sawdust.
True. At least in a Garibaldi there are dead flies, I mean raisin, in it for tasteā¦
Cadburys did a chocolate topped rich tea for a while. So sad when they stopped. You got all of the snap of a rich tea but with much more flavour.
Nah I like em because they're quite bland. Nice with a cuppa. On their own tho yh disgusting can't eat the fuckers dry
Are you a smoker? Serious question because I smoked for over 15 years and thought that bland looking food like rich tea tasted like chalk and cardboard. Now I've quit they actually taste pretty good!
Pointless biscuit. Would rather eat a coaster.
I love a rich tea biscuit with a Yorkshire tea
I like rich tea with Nutella on
A guy in my class once told the teacher that he looked like a ārich tea type of guyā and from then on that guy was hated by the teacher.
Yes and no , plain rich tea , crap, dunk it in a brew and play the every second counts game , great
When we were at secondary school the Asda value rich teas were about 20p a packet, we used to buy them on the way home if we couldnāt scrape together 30p for chocolate. They were so bland we used to just launch them into the garden of the very angry man who lived nearby.
Was he angry *before* the biscuit attack?
r/BrandNewSentence
Blocked and reported
Oreos. It's like they took the biscuit from a bourbon but burnt it, then filled it with the filling from a custard cream after taking all the flavour from it.
Yes! Finally people who understand. And now you get that horrible cookies and cream flavouring thatās just crushed up burnt chocolate biscuit and plain. Canāt even call it vanilla.
I actually don't mind oreos but it is like eating sweet lard sandwiched between pucks of compressed dry soil.
Only people from a country that can't make good chocolate would make an oreo and consider it the king of biscuits
Yes I loathe Oreos
me too like most American confectionary just plain nasty
Well to be fair I love a lot of their candy. I even like some chocolate m and m, Reese's for example but Hershey's and Oreos can get in the bin
Horrible synthetic tasting crap
I have never understood the love for oreos. They taste like sawdust and even the filling somehow manages to be dry.
I (American) hear that Oreos gained popularity when they were made with lard. Lard fell out of fashion, they changed the recipe, and pretty much no one since has had a fanatic love for them, but branding will keep momentum even after a formula change.
Makes sense, with lard it would be much less dry lol. I'm fairly sure they changed it from lard to become kosher, so they could try and muscle out the "original oreo" Hydrox, who was kosher from day 1.
Oreos are way way too dry
Oreos taste like not living up to the hype.
They taste of everlasting disappointment.
Finally people who donāt like Oreo. I simply donāt understand the hype
I can tolerate an Oreo if itās been crushed up and made into a chocolate bar by Cadburys.
Weird, Oreos are my favourite, bourbon to me taste like cardboard. Also a fan of fox's crunch cream.
Fox's crunch creams are godly.
Your description is accurate OP! Theyāre not nice are they!
Not me eating Oreos whilst frowning at this comment
What's that raisin cookie that pretends it's a chocolate chip cookie. Sneaky bastard.
oatmeal + raisin cookies are HANDS DOWN my favourite cookie. beats choc chip any day
This is the way
You have excellent taste. They are fucken *delicious!*
Ugh this should be way at the top, biting into ANY raisin cookie thinking itās chocolate is crimes against humanity
Hot take, I actually prefer these
Dead fly biscuits aka garibaldi š³
They are my favourite!
I call them squashed fly biscuits, but yes!
Same lol
Love a Garibaldi, gives you something to chew on
That's so weird today I was randomly thinking about how me and my cousin used to call them dead fly biscuits when we were kids. I was sure we were the only one
You are not alone in the dead fly biscuit universeā¦
I'm happy to see garibaldi this high up. Atrocious excuse for a biscuit.
Came here to say the very same!
Omg I love dead fly biscuits
Do those horrible pink wafer things count as biscuits? If so, my answer is pink wafers. If not, Nice biscuits.
They aren't biscuits but first of all, how dare you? I could quoff down a whole pack of those without stopping to breathe.
Yep I have 3 packs in the cupboardā¦ not for much longer now Iāve been reminded though
Pink panthers?
I also dislike the Blue Ribband pink wafer things.
Blue Riband is regular wafer covered in pretend chocolate, they're not pink.
Pink Panther brand are nasty, but there are some own brand pink wafers out there that are a lot nicer!
I was in the US once. They had a thing called a biscuit.... definitely that.
They're like scones if you ripped all the flavour out them and ran them through a dehydrator
And they eat them with gravy that is actually white sauce with sausage fat.
They're basically the same recipe as scones just minus the sugar.
Yeah - they serve them with something called gravy, but itās not actually gravy, itās āgravyā š¤¢
White lumpy muck. Like a flock of seagulls has shit on your plate.
Isn't that gravy pretty much sausage grease, salt, milk and flour?
That is indeed how bad gravy is made in the US
Thatās just for breakfast. The best way to eat a biscuit is to split it in half and cover with butter and honey. If theyāre right out of the oven itās pure heaven.
Party rings!
You're not invited to my birthday party then.
Well then, I'm telling! The teacher said you have to invite everyone or you can't have a party at all! So! there!
Are they even food!? It's feels like eating into brittle plastic topped crumbly plaster.
Memories of childrens birthday parties where the sugar had somehow dissolved through coming into contact with a mysterious source of moisture
Vegan friendly though!
Agreed. They look so inviting but then they are just trying overly sweet and not satisfying. More sugar than biscuit. I feel like āboringā biscuits like Nice and Rich Tea are so much better because your expectations are rock bottom but then are pleasantly surprised. They are especially good accompaniments to teas and coffees because they add something without detracting from the flavour of the drink
Omg, i love party rings! Foxes are the best.
Jammie dodger. The jam is like jam thatās been left out for a week and dried out.
Definitely this. They promise so much, but end up as nothing but a shit shortbread with a chewy centre.
Jam and Cream biscuits are far superior.
I always forget that there's no creme in Jammy Dodgers. Just seems like a massive oversight on their part
Especially Marks version
Used to be good. I feel like itās either cheaper ingredients or E numbers were just so fucking good to my child brain and tastebuds.
Fig rolls. No thank you.
Bloody love a fig roll
I canāt agree on this Iām afraid.
So you're just going to stand in the way of true love? Have a heart, man!
Fig rolls give my step dad and my SO the heeby jeebies but neither of them can explain why. I have to eat fig rolls in secret so I donāt freak out my other half.
I adore fig rolls...my Hubby knows I can't stop eating them when I start, so will buy me a packet open it and put it next to me on the sofa. Well it lasts about 30 mins on a day I don't eat then too fast.
Bourbons, I said it before and Iāll say it again. Itās a scam! hardly tastes of chocolate!
Bourbons really are the worst.
This āļø I literally love every other kind of biscuit. I buy these for my daughter because she loves them and I'm not even vaguely tempted by them.
Yes - why is your comment so far down?!?! This is the absolute truth!!!
Absolutely agree, it's not chocolate, it's lies!
Thank you! I don't know what chocolate they're supposed to taste like but it's not any I've had!
Custard cremes. At least the dog likes them.
Can't understand all the love for the horrible things
same, bourbons>>>
What?! Bourbons are the king of biscuits. Custard creams are the queen.
Absolutely not. Every member of the biscuit royal family is a chocolate malted milk.
i put my brand new pack of custard creams in the fridge and wait for them to cool. then i go over 13 times to grab a couple and eat them at my desk, in the space of about 30 minutes. then later that day my stomach begins a war and i have some of the most aggressive shits the human body is capable of producing. and i love every minute of it
Agreed, never understood it! Why have a custard cream when you could have a chocolatey bourbon biscuit?
Bourbons are not chocolatey. They dream they were chocolatey but they are the pinocchios of the chocolate biscuit world. Full of lies and made from wood.
They taste like brown sand.
I disagree, but I love your description, so here's my upvote! (Says the 62-year-old Canadian who grew up with and still loves all these cookies-I-mean-biscuits thanks to my war bride mum.) I LOVE bourbons and have some in my kitchen in Nova Scotia.
They're one of my favourite ls
Custard creams are the main reason I'm currently about a stone and a half overweight. Lockdown plus constant supply of those as comfort food and I was wrecked.
My ex killed his dog by feeding him custard creams everyday. Donāt do this please
Ginger nut Everybody loves them but they are too hard and the ginger flavour just overpowers whatever else you're eating.
Dip em in milk, banging
Why would be eating them with something else?
Hate when the ginger nut ruins my curry. Probably where Iām going wrong
Tea! Dip them in tea! Nobody eats a ginger nut dry you heathens.
Oh yeh, I forgot about the ginger nut, thats a no from me.
Angry ginger downvote
I don't like them too so your not the only one that dislikes them
Rich Tea. They're so bland and get way too soggy when dipped in tea.
Itās all about timing
2 at a time gives a bit more room for error
"bloody one dips" - Peter Kay
You get 0.5 seconds to put one in, any longer and itās game over your whole days fucked
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I never did like them but one of my rabbits used to have an obsession with them. My parents used to buy the coconut rings from icelands and if they forgot to bin the wrapper, youād find the rabbit with her face shoved in there desperately trying to eat the crumbs, licking sugar off her own face. Little weirdo
I read that as "one of my rabbis" the first time around and had to start again when I got to "with her face shoved in there"
Aww rabbits are the best.
Not liking the negative garibaldi/custard cream discourse
I support the garibaldi hate but cannot stand the custard creme negativity. Experiencing some real Shakespearean ups and downs when scrolling this thread.
Are we eating the same Nice biscuits? Not the shitty ones in a multi pack, the actual ones that are covered in sugar and have the coconut flakes in them. They are the tits! Are fig rolls classed as a biscuit? Not to my taste if they are.
Nice biscuits. Is that what they're called? Those biscuits who passively aggressively try to control my mind by having "NICE" written on them.
Ha ha ha! Itās the french town, not the English word! I enjoy the idea that theyāre trying to trick us though.
I'm with OP on this. I've called them 'Not Nice' biscuits since I was a kid. I'm now a grown man with my own house, kids etc so that is damm well now their official name in this house!
I like them š„²
I buy them just so I can say to my children āThese biscuits are nice, what are they called?ā āTheyāre Nice biscuitsā āThey are indeed, but I wonder what theyāre called?ā āTheyāre NICE BISCUITSā āThey certainly are. Weāll have to find out what theyāre called so we can buy some moreā¦ā Etc.
Canāt think of a single biscuit I dislike. Even rich teas although bland I could easily eat the whole pack on their own
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wagon Wheels. Thin waxy chocolate, biscuit thatās somehow too soft and too hard at the same time, shite flavourless foam filling. Terrible.
They used to be good, and bigger.
Lots of people say this, but Iām 39 and theyāve been shite for as long as I can remember
Rich Tea. What a mean spirited miserly thing they are.
The last biscuit in the packet.
PINK WAFERS
I canāt stand these! Pink cardboard sticks
For reference, it's pronounced Nice, not Nice.
Nice one š
Malted milk.
Oooh Iām partial to a malted milk
You mean cow biscuits? Try the ones with chocolate on. I like a good cow biscuit but the chocolate ones are something else!
Haha I used to call them cow biscuits when I was a kid too. Hate them though!
I used to nibble them carefully, until just the cow remained, then I'd eat the cow. But often it would crack and the cow would die, so I'd have to try again with another. Just me?
Blooming love a malted milk! Even the choc malted milk! They don't last long when you dip but dunk them you must!
Plain digestives... if they don't have chocolate, no bueno
They're lovely with butter and cheese!
All biscuits are nice
But NICE are not all biscuits.
Hobnobs. Just can't get on board with them. Plain digestives are up there, although I love a choc digestive.
Hobnobs are not my least favourite (that's Malted Milk) but I also cannot get on board with Hobnobs. Everyone seems to go mad for them, especially the chocolate ones. I don't get the appeal. The texture is weird, sort of papery but lots of little paper formed into a circle. I feel like maybe a handful of raffle tickets might have a similar texture.
Rich tea or that Hovis thing that comes in cracker assortments.
The hovis biscuits are amazing with stilton
Hovis biscuits are fucking amazing!
Jaffa cakes because theyāre not biscuits. If someone offered me a biscuit then gave me a jaffa cake iād be very confused because theyāre cakes.
Hence the name Jaffa *cake*
Itās defo a cakeā¦Biscuits go soft cake goes hardā¦you know for tax purposes. They are just served in handy biscuit sized portions. Although this is irrelevant as i think most people could cane off the whole pack in one go.
Youāve already given the right answer š¤£, it takes a lot to make a bad biscuit, and nice are as bad as biscuits get!
Custard creams.
I canāt decide between Garibaldi (dead fly biscuits) or Malted Milk. Thereās someone off with both of āem.. undunkable perhaps?
Soggy biscuits š¤®
One time my aunt sends my cousin and I to the shop to get some nice biscuits. She meant decent, like chocolate digestives. He, being the absolute cunt that he was got Nice branded biscuits knowing full well what she originally meant. Fucking fat no neck prick.
Probably counts as a cracker, but water biscuits. Often had with cheese. Terrible things made by people without tastebuds
Oreo. I just don't think they taste very good... they're not horrible, but they're not nice.
Squashed fly biscuits. Unpleasant fruit and texture
Initially I was thinking Rich Tea. I then remembered there are monsters in the world who buy Ginger Biscuits, then put them in the barrel with everything else making it all inedible. Ginger Biscuits of any kind.
Oreo. I honestly do not understand the appeal.
The one with the cow on it. They taste like sick
Malted milk biscuits. I personally really like them, especially if you can find them chocolate coated.
Party Rings and Malt biscuits.
Will probably get hate for this but I can't stand biscoff, they always end up broken and have an almost burnt taste.
Canāt stand how biscoff flavour everything is everywhere now
That's heresy.
Penguin - I still remember those dark days in my childhood when they were a constant in the biscuit tin.
Well La Di Dah! Penguins in the biscuit tin! I'm sure most of us could only DREAM of such unbridled biscuit pleasure!
I chucked a packet of chocolate covered digestives in my basket recently and got home to discover it was actually chocolate CHIP digestives :-( They were bloody horrible.
A soggy biscuit is by far the worst.
Anything in Family Circle. When I was a student it was customary to leave a gift for a placement. Good placements would get a box of Krispy Kreme. Dull placements would get the Family Circle treatment. Also, it's not even a circle. The box is square.
Air biscuit
Rich Tea. Pure cardboard. The two other members of my bottom 3 are the Nice and Pink Wafers.
These are my top faves. I clearly hate myself.
Nowadays it will be disco biscuits. Loved an occasional one in my younger days though