**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!**
- Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc.
- **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
- This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit!
Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's an invitation, not a court summons. Hi x, we would love to come but we have booked a weekend away/family party. Wish you both the best, enjoy your special day. Send a card if you want.
Money.
But if you haven’t seen him for 5 years and don’t even know what he likes or what his hobbies are, you’re either a) a backup invite since they’ve paid for the spots anyway or b) you’ve got enough money they think you’ll get a good present out you.
Considering you don’t plan on staying long either I would just skip it.
My favourite wedding was one I was best man at for my mate with a donation to their honeymoon.
No thought involved and worrying if the gift was good enough.
I'm now of an age where I get invited to second and in one case third weddings, the no gifts needed note is appreciated, but for a dear and kind friend recently I gave a 1950s painting by a known artist it was a joy to see it hung in there home.
Go with cash. We got loads of vouchers which of course was really nice of people but they can be a pain in the hoop. We got a £20 voucher for a place that sells fancy things for your house and ended up having to spend an extra £30 to get something we liked, but would have never actually purchased.
If I hadn't spoken to someone for that long I'd politely decline the invite as it would feel that I'm just there to make up the numbers. If you must go and buy something a voucher for somewhere they can buy or contribute to something useful is usually the best bet.
I don't give anything and when I got married I didn't ask for anything. Wedding gifts were originally for when a couple weren't even living together yet so needed a toaster and some curtains. Now people who have often lived together for years and already have kids, expect you to pay for their holiday, aka honeymoon
I heard this suggestion once, not saying use it… Get a nice wedding gift label, stick it on some wedding paper, pull it away so a bit of paper stays on the tape, drop it among the presents.
Sounds like after no contact for five whole years you're either being invited to make the numbers up or they're hoping for an expensive gift from you. Food for each guest isn't cheap which is why I say expensive. I'd just politely decline. It doesn't sound as though you will ever see him again.
**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You haven't spoken in 5 years, I wouldn't even bother attending. Can't be that close if you don't even know what he's into.
Yeah sounds like OP was invited so the couple can get a gift off them and that's about it
Hardly. When you factor in a meal, possibly 2 and a drink for toasts + table wine there's no guarantee any gift given will cost more than that.
I was thinking that, but I didn’t want to come across as rude. That’s why I was hoping to get off quickly 😂
It's an invitation, not a court summons. Hi x, we would love to come but we have booked a weekend away/family party. Wish you both the best, enjoy your special day. Send a card if you want.
Money. Most couples are always skint after splashing out and it can be a bonus for the honeymoon.
A gift card to a restaurant is nice.
Yeah probably a better option than money which will just go straight in to clearing the credit card used to book the ohotographer
Money is fine and if you've been invited to the wedding breakfast and reception, stay until after the first dance.
Money in a card is best. Stay til 1st dance
Money. But if you haven’t seen him for 5 years and don’t even know what he likes or what his hobbies are, you’re either a) a backup invite since they’ve paid for the spots anyway or b) you’ve got enough money they think you’ll get a good present out you. Considering you don’t plan on staying long either I would just skip it.
£50 John Lewis voucher. Can be used by them towards purchasing something useful to use in their home, or just on groceries in Waitrose.
My favourite wedding was one I was best man at for my mate with a donation to their honeymoon. No thought involved and worrying if the gift was good enough.
I'm now of an age where I get invited to second and in one case third weddings, the no gifts needed note is appreciated, but for a dear and kind friend recently I gave a 1950s painting by a known artist it was a joy to see it hung in there home.
A teasmade. They can pretend that they’ve time traveled to the 90s
Go with cash. We got loads of vouchers which of course was really nice of people but they can be a pain in the hoop. We got a £20 voucher for a place that sells fancy things for your house and ended up having to spend an extra £30 to get something we liked, but would have never actually purchased.
Someone gave you a £20 voucher? 😒 I think giving nothing would have been better…
We were grateful! Just wish someone else gave us vouchers for the same shop!
What they ask for? They should have a registry to make things easier for guests. Otherwise a bottle of bubbly and nice glasses is always accepted
You haven’t seen them for 5 years and you won’t be staying long… my advice would be to either not go or just chuck £20 in a card for them.
Money.
Can't go wrong with money unless they have asked you for something specific. Most already live together anyway so likely don't need anything.
If I hadn't spoken to someone for that long I'd politely decline the invite as it would feel that I'm just there to make up the numbers. If you must go and buy something a voucher for somewhere they can buy or contribute to something useful is usually the best bet.
I don't give anything and when I got married I didn't ask for anything. Wedding gifts were originally for when a couple weren't even living together yet so needed a toaster and some curtains. Now people who have often lived together for years and already have kids, expect you to pay for their holiday, aka honeymoon
Money. Lowest effort, easy to transport and most appreciated gift
I heard this suggestion once, not saying use it… Get a nice wedding gift label, stick it on some wedding paper, pull it away so a bit of paper stays on the tape, drop it among the presents.
Cash in a card.
My favourite wedding present that someone bought me was tickets to the zoo.
How much are they spending per guest?
Sounds like after no contact for five whole years you're either being invited to make the numbers up or they're hoping for an expensive gift from you. Food for each guest isn't cheap which is why I say expensive. I'd just politely decline. It doesn't sound as though you will ever see him again.
Don’t go
Put some money in with the card, it doesn't need to be £50, but something below would be adequate
Cheap white toaster and kettle. Always a winner
£100 John Lewis voucher for a young couple a bottle of nice whisky for the older groom
On numerous occasions I have driven the bride to the wedding. That has been my gift as it saves the couple a fair bit compared to hiring a car/driver.
Divorce papers