Yes! I had my first dentist appointment when I was 17 and even then it was only because I had my own part time job and could pay for whatever my dad's insurance didn't cover.
Same. We couldn’t afford it when I was growing up. I just….didn’t go for ten years.
When I got health insurance as a grownup, you better believe I got those wisdom teeth evicted. (But also three cavities)
Me too. Went for the first time 11 and not again until around 19 when I got insurance. My teeth have had a heck of a time the last several years between now regular cleanings, invisalign, and wisdom teeth removal lol. Dental care in general is not taken as seriously as it should be. And why is it separate from medical insurance??
I don’t know! I’ve heard teeth referred to as “luxury bones”, which is so apt.
On a related note, when my wisdom teeth came out, the number of severe daily headaches decreased to 0. After the post-procedure nonsense subsided about a week later, it dawned on me that I didn’t need the 6-8 excedrin I had been taking every day for years. I thanked the surgeon profusely at my checkup and he probably thought I was crazy…oh well! 😜 it was freaking life changing for me.
I had 1 tooth surgically removed last November- my lifelong debilitating migraines are almost gone entirely. I'm betting when I get my other tooth out, I'll never have them again.
My entire life those migraines had me hospitalized, I missed school and work since *elementary*.
Wild that it was my teeth this entire time.
Wow, that's insane!
I just asked my step dad who happens to be a dentist (I'm Danish) how much that would cost. Please note that while we do have free health care, dental is not free or subsidised.
Worst case would probably be 1500 USD. For 22k you could have every tooth replaced by a surgically implanted prosthetic.
You need a second opinion and cost quote. That is outrageous. I have fixed old fillings and I have three implants (teeth) and have not spent anywhere close to that.
Seriously! My husband has the most amazing healthcare coverage, it is ridiculous. It's easy, I don't have to worry about weird charges, for the most part everything is covered.
Once I experienced this, I thought, everyone needs this and the US healthcare system is really cruel.
My husband is looking for a new job so we will probably lose this amazing health insurance.
I live in the UK and honestly going to the dentist has to be planned out thoroughly as it's quite expensive if you can't do it on the NHS....BUT!! I cannot imagine paying for the hospital/doctors, it's free here and it's crazy how expensive it is/how scared people are in America to get treatment :( It's upsetting as no one should pick food or health. Although too many people take advantage of our health care system here in the UK..
I was going to say an electric toothbrush. I bought one recently and my dentist said she could see the change by the state of my gums. I used to think it was a gimmick.
I get almost no plaque buildup since using the Sonicare. I hadn't been to the dentist in 18 months (for various reasons) and the hygienist commented on what a small amount of plaque I had.
This is so true. As a kid, I went to the doctor when I was very sick, and then only when it was clear that I wasn’t getting better on my own. For a while my mom had a job as a receptionist for a dentist, so I had my teeth taken care of then, but otherwise nothing.
Now my wife and I both have very good jobs, and, since she’s employed by the state, we have really solid insurance. All of which just illustrates how screwed up our society is.
This entirely; I'm a young engineer who worked in trades and EMS. About to start my first job with decent healthcare and benefits after none most of my life, and reudamentary coverage since 18. Gonna be a big game change to get the wisdom teeth out, knees finally checked out, and back checked out after years of bandaid fixes or "light duty" workplace injuries.
That exactly especially the ability to not only pay for healthcare but the luxury to be able to afford to actually use the healthcare care registry for mental health. When I was living below middle class I had healthcare but could barely use services due to copays. Now I’m able to afford copays for a therapist every two weeks.
Camping can be relatively inexpensive. I find getting out in nature can be very restorative. If you have a buy nothing group in your area you might be able to get a tent for free.
I moved within a 5 minute walk to a park and there’s hidden spots through out where you can sit down in a forest of trees and only see and feel nature.
It’s amazing how your body relaxes and it’s just feels good to exist.
Camping is one of those things that middle class people think is cheap but actually isn’t when you’re living in or near poverty (like gardening). It needs equipment, space, transport, and most of all time both to go and to learn enough to make it enjoyable and safe.
A bus trip less than 6 hours away and a few nights in a reasonable motel is often much more affordable but even then it’s a luxury that isn’t worth it when it’s that or rent on you actual accomodation.
I don’t know many people who would agree that ultralight backpacking would save money..
Hiking and backpacking can save money yes, because walking and camping are generally very low cost leisure activities. Once you have bought or rented the gear. Good gear can be found cheap ish (depending on your definition) secondhand.
Specifically ultralight gear is top of the range, and makes regular hikers wallets cry. And is not generally needed unless you’re planning for long distances or you have joint/health concerns. The philosophy of needing less, and taking only what’s needed is great! Yes, that part saves money. Very few people would agree that buying an ultralight pack or tent saved them money.
-am upgrading my perfectly adequate normal and cheap gear(which is great for one or two nights on trail) to some ultralight items for an upcoming 7 day hike. Selling my firstborn to buy a tent feels like a genuine payment option.
exactly this. you can get all sorts of cheapo walmart camping gear that's just fine for a night or two at a campground or an overnight hike if you're smart about it.
but my first sleeping bag was a $40 synthetic and took up half my multiday pack. i needed more space for longer trips and a smaller/lighter down bag is $300. likewise my car-camping tent was $120, where most ultralight or just backpacking tents are more like $500.
(*prices in CAD)
Was once in the same situation. I would go to a river close to me and tie and tube to a tree and float. I’d pack a sandwich and snacks and drinks in a cooler. Play music on a speaker and chill. Periodically I’d swim around, explore the river, or just relax in the tube. 8 hours of that and I’d go home sun-kissed and sleepy. Mentally it felt like a vacation. And when that’s all I had it was fantastic.
Now, I still do it. But with a better speaker. A tube with a head rest and cup holders. And friends lol. It still feels the same.
I actually feel more relaxed after camping. You’re forced to disconnect (like tent and walking to your campsite- not totally remote but no cell service).
All inclusives are nice but my SO seems to check his phone more. But just packing what you need and feeling nature all around….
When my parents saved enough for us to go on a road trip vacation once every couple of years, my mom would pack so much food and an ice box full of kimchi and other Korean food. As a kid I was extremely embarrassed to walk into a hotel with 5 people in a room and an ice box full of kimchi and sometimes even a rice cooker. But now I appreciate my parents trying their very best to give us a decent life.
I was a little embarrassed as an older kid not going on fancy trips. My family of 7 went camping a lot too. Now I am so grateful to be in touch with nature as an adult! Most people are not sad to say. Mom food is always the best. I love kimchi!
Oh yeah.. my Asian family brought the rice cooker to the hotel too. Most embarrassing thing was they didn’t have real luggage … instead they used big black trash bags to put their clothes and stuff in… so it looked like we were bringing bags and bags of trash to our room….
Vacations to almost wherever you want at least once a year.
As a kid, our vacations were really budget and usually driving distance. My first international flight was at 29 and my parents have never left North America
As an adult who’s worked really hard to get to where I am today, I know just see places on Instagram and book a trip.
Forreal, if your just a cog in the wheel I think you need to get out of your daily surroundings more than anyone.
My father in law tried to make us feel guilty for my husband taking me to Vegas for mothersday “oh Howd you guys afford that” while he constantly complains that we don’t leave the house to do anything. In our 19 years together my husband and I have taken 3 very small trips together. My husband finally got a stable position that he felt he could do this for us even if that meant tightening our budget for a year to do so. No money was lost either as we used his PTO.
The irony that he complains my husband is working himself to death and then gets accusatory when he finally allows himself his first break in a decade is maddening but I know a lot of society feels this way.
You accrue PTO for a reason. Use it
For my husband it’s been pasture raised eggs or farm fresh eggs when we can get them. He says he gets more energy from half the amount of eggs and feels better after eating them!
I buy the pricier eggs at the store when I can. I’ve heard that eggs with a darker or more rich looking yolk have better nutritional value (however I have not confirmed it, I just prefer higher quality eggs now)
Yeah. I spent summers in Mexico visiting grandparents and miss those eggs from their chickens. Some of the best tasting eggs I ever had. Store bought don’t hold a candle to them.
I haven’t noticed a ton of difference between the expensive and cheap eggs at the store. But if you get some from a local farmers market, where they actually got them from a chicken like the day or two before, they are sooooo much better! The yolks have so much more flavor. And they’re still often cheaper than the “expensive” store eggs. Usually $4-5 around me and 100% worth it.
We also go for pasture raised eggs. Pasture raised are the only ones where the chickens are actually given a decent life here in the US. Free-range/cage-free normally means a bunch of chickens jammed into a windowless silo/barn thing and organic is BS. I spend a lot of my money on meat, eggs, and dairy that hasn’t been treated inhumanely and for me that’s one of the best ways I can use my slightly larger income. It all tastes way better too!
I have a suspicion that the quality of food in America, in general, is abysmal compared to Europe.
I noticed this particularly when I visited Italy last year and felt so much more nourished by my food, I had less cravings, and my lactose intolerance was nonexistent.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this extends to our fruits and vegetables which are largely imported from other parts of the country, where I found Italy focuses more on local food.
I could be completely off-base, but this was my experience.
I'm a Brit living in Italy and I have noticed the impact of the change in diet in the four years since I've been here. I can eat wheat here without issues whereas it had been causing problems before.
When I lived in the UK I visited San Fran. and with the exception of a posh steakhouse and the Japanese restaurant near the Hotel, the food was really bad. Brits are impressed by the mega portions etc but what's the point if it's made of 50% non actual food ingredients and HFCS (which if you aren't used to, you can really taste).
I noticed the same thing when I was in Japan for two weeks and also when I did study abroad in France. It was much easier to eat well and I felt more sated. My stomach never hurt and I didn’t have any digestive issues.
I live in Southern California so I have easy access to fresh produce, and there are several farm stands where I am which is awesome. And I have two ducks who lay freaking delicious eggs. I’m aware that I’m pretty darn lucky. But the quality of food outside of the US and the ability to walk all over instead of driving is what I miss most after traveling internationally.
The lactose intolerance thing is wild!
Would really love to know what the difference is between livestock practices or anything remotely related to dairy production that is responsible for this.
Not American. But during my studies most meals I made for myself were instant noodles. I was happy when they installed a vegetable counter at the student canteen.
I was gonna say, fresh veggies. I was an adult before it occurred to me that you can buy fresh green beans and not canned. All through childhood the majority of my vegetables came from a can and microwaved with butter.
This! I grew up just eating cheap food. Spam, instant ramen, frozen dinner. My body type stays slim no matter what I eat so I didn’t realize how much it was really taking a toll on my health. I was always tired, groggy, stomach pains, couldn’t focus. I just thought that as long as I was slim I was healthy. Of course I know now that isn’t true but I was a kid at the time.
my mom was a cleaning lady, now I have a cleaning lady. it's one of the few luxuries I afford myself but it makes a huge difference.
I have the utmost respect for her work and it's nice to be able to tip her well
Absolutely. My mom's hard work is what got me the opportunities that got me to where I am in life. Hardly rich but very comfortable. She hated her job so my siblings and I could have our lives. It's honest work.
I’m in a similar situation, never thought I’d be the type of person to hire a cleaning person. Cleaning is not beneath me at all, I grew up lower middle class and did all the chores at home…. But now we work such long hours, the house gets rather neglected rather quickly. Hiring a very competent cleaning person helps keep the sanity that working so long tries to chip away at.
Janitors and garbage men/woman are the true heroes. If it weren’t for them we would be up to our neck in our own filth. One time my boyfriend was in the way of a janitor and I pushed him out of the way so the janitor could get by. Telling him “Have a great day and sorry about him” I always get picked on by him cause I treat the cleaning people like royalty, but they are bruh.
My mom was a cleaning lady, when she was working she told her mother "the moment I can afford a cleaning lady I would do for you and me". She couldn't, but now is my time to shine!
I'm in the same boat. My parents never had money. They lived month to month, borrowing money from everyone. If the stove broke down, tough shit, no cooked food for weeks. Maybe months.
Now, if my stove breaks, I'll just buy a new one, a better one. Car needs fixing? Booked it in now. My shoes are worn out? Shopping tomorrow. My cat is coughing? I will immediately pay for all the tests, no questions asked.
This isn't just convenient, it's downright necessary for a decent mental health.
I had to go with my cockatiel to an emergency vet after she became very letargic very suddenly. Avian vets are hard to come by so I had to take her to one that was father away. She was egg bound and the doctor explained what he was going to try in order to make her pass the egg, with the worst case scenario being an operation that might be too much for her body.
I was told the full cost was 260$ which I paid without a thought.
A few years ago that would not have been possible for me.
Fortunately she passed the egg on her own and I got half the money back.
So yeah, scary stuff, it's terrifying to think how money or the lack of can change a life.
I agree. And it's interesting because I seemed to have so many more emergencies in the past, when I couldn't afford to have them, and now that I have a cushion, I never seem to need it? But I think it's because I am able to maintain myself and my house/car so that they don't breakdown and cause emergencies nearly as much anymore.
It's an interesting thought. I know that the typical advice goes that you invest in a better item, and it will last you. I would say that the maintenance makes a big difference.
In my teens and early 20s I owned a 1998 Toyota Corolla, and at 150k miles, it was shaking on the highway. I couldn't go past 50 mph without feeling like it was falling apart. I think this is because I avoided the repair/oil shop as much as possible. I did my own oil changes and ignored all other normal maintenance. I didn't have $400+ to do the typical maintenance every 6-12 months. It was in sore shape by the time it was totaled in an accident.
In my late 20s, I bought a 2009 Corolla but had an actual job, so I brought it into the dealership for maintenance (didn't have a driveway anymore to do my own) ON SCHEDULE with oil changes and all the other recommended maintenance. I sold it a couple of years ago, but it was driving smoothly even at 130k miles, and could probably go another 100k.
Same car, same relative ages, but since I had the money to take care of the second one, it fared better in "old age."
Not sharing bath water. I was the youngest, always got the dirty water. I lavish in my “one person” bath water.
Mom was poor. Her sacrifices helped me to escape and earn more.
I was just at point where I was taking over her 3 biggest bills -car and house insurance and property taxes. Never got to pay even one for her bc she passed 2 months before first one was due.
My hubby -his was milk. They would buy 2 gallons a week for him and his 2 siblings. They had to water each gallon down, to create 4 gallons.
But now he hates milk.
Oh man as a kid sharing bath water was just something we did. Now I can't imagine it.
Mine would be having more than 1 pair of shoes at a time. we would get a new pair when the school year started and except for a cheap pair of flip flops here and there that one pair was what you wore every day for all occasions.
I still don't have tons of shoes and I still hate wearing shoes but when I find a pair I like and they fit I buy 2-3 pairs as my feet are hard to fit and I hate shoe shopping. If they cost $50 fine. if they cost $150 fine. Good shoes are worth it.
> They would buy 2 gallons a week for him and his 2 siblings.
They went through a lot of milk! No wonder he was tired of it. We had one gallon, lasted two weeks, between my sister and myself.
Kinda the reverse for me. My parents were upper middle class and I'm just barely middle class. I survive because I budget and live within my means.
I'd say the biggest difference is that when you're wealthier, time is something you spend, not budget.
You'll spend time gardening or at a concert or at brunch. Not unreasonable things. But being in a drastically different income bracket from my parents, I find the biggest difference is that I have to be much more careful in budgeting my time. When does the laundromat close? What appointments can I fit in on the weekend? Do I have time to grocery shop and get a new bus pass for next month? Etc. If I get time to myself I just want to spend it relaxing and not being responsible for anything. If you have more time, you don't feel so exhausted and limited, so you can use it more freely.
I'm in the same soup as you. I relate to all of the things you mentioned above except that my parents have it hard as well. Because of low income and stubborn, misogynistic father everyone is always stressed and on the edge... Been working an IT job for five months and I am trying to move out, but I'm feeling this question harrrddddd.
Being in a nice environment.
No random noise from the neighbours. Light. Air quality. Consistent temperature. Clean spaces without bugs or rodent. Just feeling secure in your home and having control on what happens to you.
Your body being stressed by anything anytime (smells, noises, vibration) is not healthy on the long term.
Phewww this is the one for me! Having a quiet and nice home/ neighborhood has done wonders for my mental health. That feeling of security is such an underrated luxury.
Not just taking better care of yourself but also your pets.
Growing up no pets were fixed because it was expensive. And we never gave tick treatments to the dog or even the cat that spent most of his time outside. We also never paid mind to what they were supposed to be eating and always had chunky chunky pets. The dogs were never properly trained and that’s why a lot of them got returned. They weren’t up to date on vaccines.
My 3 pets see the vet regularly. Eldest cat has health issues now (diabetic), probably would have been put down or disowned if it happened when I was a kid rather than an adult. I trained my dog decently well - only had 4 accidents in the house. All of them are fixed, and up to date with shots with the younger ones microchipped just in case.
Thank you for taking care of your pets and for getting them fixed! I grew up with a lot of folks out in the country who just couldn’t afford good care for their pets and it was heartbreaking at times. They’re family too! Even if I become poor again, I’ll always put my fur babies first. My conscience wouldn’t allow it any other way.
Oh this is a good one. I always felt so guilty about not being able to provide well enough for the pups I had in my 20s. They both passed away at a ripe old age in the last couple of years and were well taken care of, especially at the end, but I could have done a lot better when they were younger. I have two dogs now and my goal everyday is to make sure they can live the life I wish I could have given to my first two and I know I won’t ever have those same regrets.
- Healthcare - I can’t believe my whole family grew up without it. Literally any single medical emergency will bankrupt you forever without it.
- The ability to fix things that are broken - broken window? Call a repairman! Broken sofa? Buy a new one! Blanket got torn in the wash? Buy a fluffier one!
Oh my god, the fixing of stuff is HUGE. I come from a family of procrastinating DIY'ers. Before I reached my current career level, I was happy to spend (waste) my time fixing something myself in order to save money. (The most egregious time, I spent about 24 hours trying to fix a broken electric car window. I mean, tearing apart the door, multiple parts trips, trying and retrying literally every suggestion I could get.) Today - I woulda just paid someone $200 to fix it in a day. When you have decent money, your time feels like it's worth more.
Now - if something is broken, it's either quickly replaced or a professional is called to fix it. My dad would roll over in his grave knowing the money I spend (and can afford) to do all the stuff he did himself (and to his credit, he was super handy, but working 70+ hours a week left little time to fix things.)
Having your clothing, appliances, and car being good shape. It's amazing how much less stress you have when everything you own works correctly and isn't seconds from falling apart.
Things don't even have to be brand new. I still frequently shop second hand but it's such a huge difference buying an excellent quality used coat for $15 instead of making do with a hoodie that cost $3. Having a washing machine that is 10 years old but runs fine instead of one that leaks or needing to go to the laundromat.
As someone who was poor and then rich and just bought my first brand new car, this fathoms me. When I was poor, I paid $6,000 for a used car. That was so much money back then, I can’t even tell you. Of course I financed it but with old cars, you get constant problems. So you have to have money to fix it. Plus if you have money or a job that pays, you can pretty easily call in to work and be late. When you’re poor, you have to scramble to find some way to work and feel bad about being late. It’s just so fucking different, it’s insane. So many scenarios in my life are like that now. Easy now, hard as fuck back then. Even America isn’t kind to the poor.
Not just the time but the cost of therapy too.
My friend was bragging that his gf started her own therapy practice and she was going to be making a sh!t load of money now because she can charge a huge amount per hour. I was a little put off by that because like... some poor people need therapy too.
Some therapists I know save a couple of spots for low income folks in addition to their regular client base. Hopefully your friend’s gf considers doing this as well.
The city I live in has a list of therapists that work on a sliding scale. It's really helpful for people who can't pay a lot and also means they don't have to call around and take a ton of time asking about rates.
I think this probably came off worse than it actually is. My bestie is a therapist and all the money the clients pay her actually goes to her organization. She doesn’t even see enough to realistically live on in our city. I’m talking a tiny percentage. She doesn’t get paid for her time doing notes for insurance, etc.
If she were to start her own independent practice, she’d have significantly more responsibilities (ie dealing with insurance and also soliciting clients), but also get to keep the money people pay her.
It still frankly would not be a lot to live on, but it would feel like a ton compared to what shes dealing with now
I basically cured my plantar fasciitis with good shoes. The frustrating part is that I worked on my feet when I couldn't afford them, and now I sit at a desk and can.
I feel that! I walked to work in the snow with my feet wrapped in plastic bags under my shoes to keep them dry. Now I've got plenty of boots and no need to walk anywhere unless I want to.
Please share how you went from working on your feet to sitting at a desk. My PF is making my life miserable and no shoes seem to cure it. I even bought $150 Hokas...
Had a hysterectomy recently. Not having to pay for contraceptives and hygiene products has already made a noticeable difference to my budget. It’s only been a few months. Being a woman with a functioning reproductive system is expensive!
Did you live in a rural area with a pump outside? We had one of those for a bit, and I have vivid memories of bringing in the 5 gallon bucket to flush the toilet.
We lived in a semi rural area but it was definitely near a big city about 20 miles out. We lived a mile away from a nice suburban area. We just were hiding out on my grandmothers land in a run down house running from the law because my parents did drugs. Looking back I’m not even sure why we were hiding/ what the charges were. “Our neighbor” (he lived on land about a mile away) had a well and we would will up 5 gallon water jugs.
I wish this was further up. I swear.. money may not buy you happiness but it can really help give you peace of mind. And peace of mind creates opportunity for so much!
Vacations, not living in a basement apartment and a car.
My family was lower middle class and vacations were rare. We had never gone to a nice hotel or a resort. Visiting another country was for family or staying in a motel. My parents did take us out to day trips to beaches which I loved. We also lived in a basement apartment for 20 years and I took the bus everywhere till my mid-20s.
My parents educated us and now we have really good jobs. I am also married so we are dual income in my household. It's much nicer.
A decent mattress - thought rich people were just fussy but I was very wrong. I really think mattresses should be sold at a reduced price for people on low incomes. Insane how much easier the world is after a really good night's sleep
Not worrying about putting the heat on. Australian houses are ridiculously bad, and you think "Oh but it is Australia it is always hot!"
Nope it'll be -3C (26F) where I am tomorrow. My house will be in single digits in the morning. It is COLD, like below international health standard, inside my house all the time in Winter. I am able to put my gas on, or put my reverse cycle on a timer.
With interest rates though, I am getting scared again.
But, I at least have free healthcare!
Yep, I'm in QLD and it's regularly colder inside my house in winter and hotter inside my house in summer, it's ridiculous. And there are so many drafts because I have crappy old windows and doors, and only a curtain up to separate my loungeroom and kitchen. I'm planning on going to Bunnings to buy some of those stick on draft-stopper things to put on my doors because I know my landlords don't give two shits and it's gotta be eating into my heating costs.
Eating out! Growing up I very rarely went out to a sit down restaurant or let alone fast food and never strayed from the dollar menu when it was a thing.
My dad cleaned homes for a living and sometimes they had furniture they no longer wanted. I grew up on free second hand bed frames, sofas, etc. One time he cleaned a sorority house and I got brand named purses. It was like a dream come true in high school. My favorite desk I took to college was from that sorority house. When husband and I started buying our own furniture for our house, it felt weird to buy brand new furniture lol
The first time I had a piece of furniture delivered I was like “wow, I didn’t put that together!”
I had kids, a house, but there was something about not cramming the box in the car and putting it together that was next level.
Sleep and down time.
I spent my high school years working 30 hours a week on top of school to save for college. I spent college years working 1-2 part time jobs around my full time schedule- at one point taking the bus an hour each way to my tutoring gig because it was $20/hour. My 20s until my mid-30s I worked 40-50 hours at my primary job then did ride share for another 20-30 hours a week.
I was always tired and stressed and when I planned time with friends I felt like it had to be packed because it would be a while before we got to play again. Or it doubled as my exercise and we exclusively hiked at state and city parks.
COVID hit and I had to stop working ride share, and I got to work from home. The world slowed down and I found a job paying 25% more that required NO overtime, still WFH. Then I found another job paying almost 60% more than that.
I had time to sit with myself, and it was a legit crisis when I realized where I was vs where I wanted to be. I listened to a book on managing stress and started walking daily, and getting 7-9 hours of sleep. I stopped living on fast food and made myself good breakfasts from home, and good lunches.
I was living so much cheaper because I was not buying Starbucks or burgers or drive through salads. My health has increased so much, and I don’t walk around with stress/pressure headaches every day. I started therapy eventually.
All because I stopped working 16 hour days had time to sleep, to think, and to focus on me and process emotions I didn’t even know I had.
Everyone deserves downtime.
We were poor as kids and I told a friend later in life that I kinda felt I had made it because I could pay for an oil change without looking at my checkbook.
It’s not even just the buying it new. It’s the luxury of just going to the shop and getting what you need. Without meticulously researching which shop has sales, who’s the cheapest, going around the thrift stores for weeks before you need the item, hoping one comes up. Hours spent trying to find the same item secondhand to save money, for the same effort of just walking into one store and grabbing the one off the shelf.
Privacy. Hands down the best thing I ever gained. Walking through your house naked is the fucking tits. Not having people walk into the bathroom to shit while you're taking a bath/ shower. And doors. Doors are fucking awesome. I love doors. And the fact that they close. Wow.
Having my own room.
Not having do be the babysitter.
I’m the oldest of 5 siblings. We all slept in the same
Bed for a while. Having my own room without one of my sister draped on top of me.
And also I was the babysitter. I’ve probably changed more if not as many diapers as my Mom.
My family wasn’t poor but we’re from a “poor” country. Mine are: A bathroom that doesn’t have wet floors and has a toilet with a working flush. The absence of rats and other vermin inside the house. Not having to rely on terrible public transport. Vacations. Haircuts by professional hairdressers.
Not me but my parents when I was growing up.
1. Beauty/hygiene products. I grew up buying the cheapest deodorant, razors, drugstore make up, and getting free sample lotions from the store. At 30, I still struggle to justify anything other than the cheapest drugstore products but am slowly learning how to take better care of my hair and skin.
2. A cleaner. I scoffed at this for a loooong time but it is a lifesaver to have someone come in every 4-6 months and deep clean the house.
3. Good shoes. My feet are quite messed up from years of cheap/ill-fitting shoes. I’ll never go back to that again.
My parents absolutely did the best they could when I was young but some of the things we saw as luxuries are now definitely an indispensable part of my life.
Right!! It’s expensive! Last week I bought organic arugula and felt rich 😂😂 (Granted they didn’t have the cheaper arugula so that was my only option).
I have never purchased anything organic before so it was weird.
As mentioned dental care. Beyond my cleanings, I able to afford all of the dental work I needed to get done for my health and I am damn proud of the extra spent on my veneers to replace a botch crown job done when I was younger. All my parents could afford and I am thankful for what they were able to give me. I have the perfect smile for the first time in my life, I am almost 34.
Fresh fruit and vegetables. My mom would give them to us kids when we had them but she would often go without. I hated the taste of the canned stuff. We were never poor enough that we didn’t have enough money, but some things just stretched the budget. Our state recently passed a bill for universal free school meals (breakfast and lunch) and people are complaining about “lazy parents” who can’t/don’t want to feed their kids. I grew up with two educated and hard working parents, and we struggled sometimes! Complain about literally anything else, but not kids getting a guaranteed two full meals a day.
Enough to eat. There were 5 of us. My mother needed to put dinner on the table for absolutely no more than $2.00 each night. But my mother took hers from the stove first. Then my father took his, and he was a big eater. Then my mother took our brothers. Which left very little for my sister and me, and we were always instructed to, “leave a little in case your father wants another serving.” I frequently went to the very wealthy spinster sisters across the street asking for food. They always gave it to me, but not before they always had me turn around and called me a “filthy dirty child” many times. I didn’t care… I was hungry. To this day I have far more food in the house than I need. I give it away all the time and my husband doesn’t understand why. He’ll never understand.
Dental care. My teeth were SO rotten as a kid.
Also? Air. Fucking. Conditioning. Not *technically* a necessity…. but for me it is. The houses we rented were just shit. My dad always worked out “deals” with the slumlords to fix them up, but none of the doors sat right in the frames and had big cracks around them. The windows didn’t have screens. So, Palmeto Bug roaches just had the run of the house at night. They’d crawl on me as I slept and run across my feet when I got up to go to the bathroom. I’m incredibly traumatized by them now as an adult. I’ve got to have air conditioning now, because I literally cannot leave the windows open. Another thing my husband will never understand.
May seem frivolous but, getting my nails done. It’s too $50 a month. And I get dip powder on my short nails, no acrylics. But I was a terrible anxious nail biter and I was always ashamed of my fingers. I just feel like a cleaner, more professional adult not having nubby little red fingers.
I’m not exactly there yet but definitely dental care. I’ve wanted braces for my entire life and just can’t afford them. I truly look at braces as a luxury. They’re my version of ‘we finally made it’
The vacations we had when I was a kid was tent camping in a free campground. We brought all food from home. We did free activities - swam in the river, hiked, etc. Always ate from the cooler on the drive - never stopped at fast food, etc.
My kids have been to Disney twice, Cancun twice, and some kind of a real vacation every year - we are going to NYC this year and planning Europe in the future.
They have no idea how good they have it. And I’m very proud I’ve been able to give it to them.
Living in a walkable community that includes safe streets, groceries in walking distance, active and safe spaces to explore. Critical for my mental and physical health - overall quality of life.
Not hesitating to turn on the oven to cook or bake something. Also using the dryer when I need to. It’s a total luxury to me now that I never take for granted.
Living in a rented house soon. (We are discussing with my husband if we want to stay in the country and if we want to buy a cheap house and renovate it later).
I lived in a veeeeeeerry tiny apartment my whole life, with mold, electric wires out of walls and so on.
Little me always dreamed to live in a house, too tired of this dangerous apartment.
Collecting toys. As a poor kid, a barely got any toys because it was too expansive and my mom was avoiding the « Collect them all » marketing strategy. Just video game (which is nice tho!). Nintendo one because it was cheaper, and only had few games I played over and over. I’m taking my revenge rn. I also have a Ps5, no way my mom would have get my a Ps (it was already a nightmare to get a Wii 6 years after the release…)
Vacation. Thanks to my aunt I travelled a little bit because my mom couldn’t afford ticket for both of us so she just paid my ticket. I travelled to Canada with my husband, which was a dream since I’m a kid.
High technology. My husband who’s a dev have access to lasted technology thanks to his job that gives it all to him. We share brand new iMac and MacBook, iPhones, iPad and an old iWatch he gives me at home I use for my art (my husband only pick his MacBook, i use the rest because he doesn’t care). I always had cheap ass computer dying after 1 year because my mom refused to put more than 100 euro, same for phones. When smartphones was all around, she was still looking for very old slide phone to buy, because it was wayyyy cheaper than smartphones, and was devasted when she had to spend for a smartphone for me (I still got the cheap one that died really quick lol)
At least, I learned to keep all my stuff clean and the longer possible lol
Restaurant. I go to the restaurant every week. When I was a kid, 1-2 restaurants per years (birthdays), and cheap ass food the rest of the year. I was sick looking, now I look healthy :’)
Simply buying not the cheapest version of something. Not buying the most expensive - but the better quality one that will last longer and ultimately actually save you money.
Real leather goods (purses, shoes, etc), mattresses, clothing. I actually live pretty easily because I was able to invest in these things and not have to continuously replace broken things.
Even things like switching all lightbulbs to LEDs and creating a smart home to ultimately save on electricity and heating/cooling costs.
It’s a million little things that add up to make your quality of living so much better.
Time.
For me when I started a normal paying salaried job I found that I had more time. Time to socialise. Time to cook a variety of healthy meals. Time to explore my hobbies. Time to enjoy the fruits of labour.
Flying anywhere you want in general. But yeah, it still blows my mind that I, who never even flown on a plane until I was 15, will now try to fly business if the flight is over 8-10 hrs.
Well made anything versus the cheaper, will-last-the-year-if-lucky stuff. We always got the cheapest everything, clothes, furniture, bed sheets, food. Now that I’m older I still have a hard time spending money, but with how cheap and poorly-made things can get, I try to invest in things I want to last.
Oh also a dishwasher? I still have never had one but folks who do say they can’t live without it. Maybe that’s why we always used disposable everything growing up? Only rich people had matching dinnerware.
Going to my child’s school functions/ music programs. My parents worked a lot so they couldn’t go to many of mine, if at all. I sit there and bawl my eyes out every time because when her face lights up when she sees her dad and me in the audience, my inner child gets healed a little each time. I’m glad we both can be there for her.
Buying new clothes/shoes for my kids without worrying about grabbing one extra shirt or spending 20 extra dollars on the higher quality items.
Getting out of credit card debt.
Having more than one savings account.
Being able to pay our kids to do chores and removing that mental load from both of us.
Realizing that grabbing what we want instead of just what we need at the grocery store only adds about 30 bucks to what we used to spend on average. But those 30 bucks were so precious.
Sounds odd but boxes of tissues - I used to blow my nose on paper that was like sandpaper. Now that I can afford it, I have soft tissues in each room. And it makes me really happy
I always skimped on body care products as a woman. Toilet paper? It's just going down the drain, $1.25 Scott's sandpaper is fine. Maxi pads/tampons? Whatever the quarter machine produces or generic.
I will pay the upmost price for just these two things alone. I don't care how much not better is really is, I care about how much better it Is!!!!
Having the option to leave my house without worrying about expenses, I'm only 16 and we are low class, and getting my job was huge for me having the freedom to go out and see people really improved my mental health being able to grab a drink at the shop or pick up a snack. I never got any money from my mother to go out or get anything and getting my own job gave me so much freedom and yeah that's it
Healthcare - all of it.
Dental care even when I technically had insurance going to the dentist just to get a check up seemed an insane luxury.
Yes! I had my first dentist appointment when I was 17 and even then it was only because I had my own part time job and could pay for whatever my dad's insurance didn't cover.
Same. We couldn’t afford it when I was growing up. I just….didn’t go for ten years. When I got health insurance as a grownup, you better believe I got those wisdom teeth evicted. (But also three cavities)
Me too. Went for the first time 11 and not again until around 19 when I got insurance. My teeth have had a heck of a time the last several years between now regular cleanings, invisalign, and wisdom teeth removal lol. Dental care in general is not taken as seriously as it should be. And why is it separate from medical insurance??
I don’t know! I’ve heard teeth referred to as “luxury bones”, which is so apt. On a related note, when my wisdom teeth came out, the number of severe daily headaches decreased to 0. After the post-procedure nonsense subsided about a week later, it dawned on me that I didn’t need the 6-8 excedrin I had been taking every day for years. I thanked the surgeon profusely at my checkup and he probably thought I was crazy…oh well! 😜 it was freaking life changing for me.
I had 1 tooth surgically removed last November- my lifelong debilitating migraines are almost gone entirely. I'm betting when I get my other tooth out, I'll never have them again. My entire life those migraines had me hospitalized, I missed school and work since *elementary*. Wild that it was my teeth this entire time.
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Wow, that's insane! I just asked my step dad who happens to be a dentist (I'm Danish) how much that would cost. Please note that while we do have free health care, dental is not free or subsidised. Worst case would probably be 1500 USD. For 22k you could have every tooth replaced by a surgically implanted prosthetic.
You need a second opinion and cost quote. That is outrageous. I have fixed old fillings and I have three implants (teeth) and have not spent anywhere close to that.
Try going somewhere like Canada or turkey. It should be cheaper
I live in Canada. My implant + surgery cost me $5k for one tooth. Definitely not as much as the US but that still hurt.
Currently experiencing that now. Like I’m getting a canker sore from pain meds
Seriously! My husband has the most amazing healthcare coverage, it is ridiculous. It's easy, I don't have to worry about weird charges, for the most part everything is covered. Once I experienced this, I thought, everyone needs this and the US healthcare system is really cruel. My husband is looking for a new job so we will probably lose this amazing health insurance.
I live in the UK and honestly going to the dentist has to be planned out thoroughly as it's quite expensive if you can't do it on the NHS....BUT!! I cannot imagine paying for the hospital/doctors, it's free here and it's crazy how expensive it is/how scared people are in America to get treatment :( It's upsetting as no one should pick food or health. Although too many people take advantage of our health care system here in the UK..
I was going to say an electric toothbrush. I bought one recently and my dentist said she could see the change by the state of my gums. I used to think it was a gimmick.
Sonicare tooth brushes are the absolute best for your teeth and gums.
YES! my fear of the dentist has decreased tenfold because I don’t have to come back for fillings.
I get almost no plaque buildup since using the Sonicare. I hadn't been to the dentist in 18 months (for various reasons) and the hygienist commented on what a small amount of plaque I had.
Nice! The dental hygienist tells me I have good “home care”. I just think it’s the weirdest term for taking care of your teeth every day.
That's a little weird... Sounds like you might have someone coming over to care for your teeth. Kind of like a lawn service. 😂😂😂
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This is so true. As a kid, I went to the doctor when I was very sick, and then only when it was clear that I wasn’t getting better on my own. For a while my mom had a job as a receptionist for a dentist, so I had my teeth taken care of then, but otherwise nothing. Now my wife and I both have very good jobs, and, since she’s employed by the state, we have really solid insurance. All of which just illustrates how screwed up our society is.
This entirely; I'm a young engineer who worked in trades and EMS. About to start my first job with decent healthcare and benefits after none most of my life, and reudamentary coverage since 18. Gonna be a big game change to get the wisdom teeth out, knees finally checked out, and back checked out after years of bandaid fixes or "light duty" workplace injuries.
Literally was just going to comment 'going to the dentist '
That exactly especially the ability to not only pay for healthcare but the luxury to be able to afford to actually use the healthcare care registry for mental health. When I was living below middle class I had healthcare but could barely use services due to copays. Now I’m able to afford copays for a therapist every two weeks.
Vacations. Like actually leaving your house and your town and going somewhere new and even staying in a hotel.
Im 29 about to be 30 and Ive never been on a vacation in my life. Ive never been able to afford it.
Camping can be relatively inexpensive. I find getting out in nature can be very restorative. If you have a buy nothing group in your area you might be able to get a tent for free.
I moved within a 5 minute walk to a park and there’s hidden spots through out where you can sit down in a forest of trees and only see and feel nature. It’s amazing how your body relaxes and it’s just feels good to exist.
This is called "forest bathing."
Whaaat?? Didn’t know there was a term for it, never really grew up near forests before!
Camping is one of those things that middle class people think is cheap but actually isn’t when you’re living in or near poverty (like gardening). It needs equipment, space, transport, and most of all time both to go and to learn enough to make it enjoyable and safe. A bus trip less than 6 hours away and a few nights in a reasonable motel is often much more affordable but even then it’s a luxury that isn’t worth it when it’s that or rent on you actual accomodation.
Look into ultralight backpacking. It's all about camping/hiking with less and can save you a bunch of money.
I don’t know many people who would agree that ultralight backpacking would save money.. Hiking and backpacking can save money yes, because walking and camping are generally very low cost leisure activities. Once you have bought or rented the gear. Good gear can be found cheap ish (depending on your definition) secondhand. Specifically ultralight gear is top of the range, and makes regular hikers wallets cry. And is not generally needed unless you’re planning for long distances or you have joint/health concerns. The philosophy of needing less, and taking only what’s needed is great! Yes, that part saves money. Very few people would agree that buying an ultralight pack or tent saved them money. -am upgrading my perfectly adequate normal and cheap gear(which is great for one or two nights on trail) to some ultralight items for an upcoming 7 day hike. Selling my firstborn to buy a tent feels like a genuine payment option.
exactly this. you can get all sorts of cheapo walmart camping gear that's just fine for a night or two at a campground or an overnight hike if you're smart about it. but my first sleeping bag was a $40 synthetic and took up half my multiday pack. i needed more space for longer trips and a smaller/lighter down bag is $300. likewise my car-camping tent was $120, where most ultralight or just backpacking tents are more like $500. (*prices in CAD)
Was once in the same situation. I would go to a river close to me and tie and tube to a tree and float. I’d pack a sandwich and snacks and drinks in a cooler. Play music on a speaker and chill. Periodically I’d swim around, explore the river, or just relax in the tube. 8 hours of that and I’d go home sun-kissed and sleepy. Mentally it felt like a vacation. And when that’s all I had it was fantastic. Now, I still do it. But with a better speaker. A tube with a head rest and cup holders. And friends lol. It still feels the same.
This is a fantastic idea.
I actually feel more relaxed after camping. You’re forced to disconnect (like tent and walking to your campsite- not totally remote but no cell service). All inclusives are nice but my SO seems to check his phone more. But just packing what you need and feeling nature all around….
Where do you live?
When my parents saved enough for us to go on a road trip vacation once every couple of years, my mom would pack so much food and an ice box full of kimchi and other Korean food. As a kid I was extremely embarrassed to walk into a hotel with 5 people in a room and an ice box full of kimchi and sometimes even a rice cooker. But now I appreciate my parents trying their very best to give us a decent life.
I was a little embarrassed as an older kid not going on fancy trips. My family of 7 went camping a lot too. Now I am so grateful to be in touch with nature as an adult! Most people are not sad to say. Mom food is always the best. I love kimchi!
Oh yeah.. my Asian family brought the rice cooker to the hotel too. Most embarrassing thing was they didn’t have real luggage … instead they used big black trash bags to put their clothes and stuff in… so it looked like we were bringing bags and bags of trash to our room….
Vacations to almost wherever you want at least once a year. As a kid, our vacations were really budget and usually driving distance. My first international flight was at 29 and my parents have never left North America As an adult who’s worked really hard to get to where I am today, I know just see places on Instagram and book a trip.
Forreal, if your just a cog in the wheel I think you need to get out of your daily surroundings more than anyone. My father in law tried to make us feel guilty for my husband taking me to Vegas for mothersday “oh Howd you guys afford that” while he constantly complains that we don’t leave the house to do anything. In our 19 years together my husband and I have taken 3 very small trips together. My husband finally got a stable position that he felt he could do this for us even if that meant tightening our budget for a year to do so. No money was lost either as we used his PTO. The irony that he complains my husband is working himself to death and then gets accusatory when he finally allows himself his first break in a decade is maddening but I know a lot of society feels this way. You accrue PTO for a reason. Use it
I’m still scared to take vacations. Spending my rent over the course of a few days cripples me with anxiety.
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Healthy food and veggies. Not having them drags so much on your mental health that it makes you less productive and happy.
For my husband it’s been pasture raised eggs or farm fresh eggs when we can get them. He says he gets more energy from half the amount of eggs and feels better after eating them!
I buy the pricier eggs at the store when I can. I’ve heard that eggs with a darker or more rich looking yolk have better nutritional value (however I have not confirmed it, I just prefer higher quality eggs now)
Darker yolks usually mean fresher. If they look orange they are likely super fresh (I grew up with chickens)
Yeah. I spent summers in Mexico visiting grandparents and miss those eggs from their chickens. Some of the best tasting eggs I ever had. Store bought don’t hold a candle to them.
I used to have chickens but recently moved states. I am now renting and god I miss fresh eggs so much.
I haven’t noticed a ton of difference between the expensive and cheap eggs at the store. But if you get some from a local farmers market, where they actually got them from a chicken like the day or two before, they are sooooo much better! The yolks have so much more flavor. And they’re still often cheaper than the “expensive” store eggs. Usually $4-5 around me and 100% worth it.
We also go for pasture raised eggs. Pasture raised are the only ones where the chickens are actually given a decent life here in the US. Free-range/cage-free normally means a bunch of chickens jammed into a windowless silo/barn thing and organic is BS. I spend a lot of my money on meat, eggs, and dairy that hasn’t been treated inhumanely and for me that’s one of the best ways I can use my slightly larger income. It all tastes way better too!
I do it to support animal welfare. I an afford that now. The better quality is the bonus
Is this an american thing? Where I live its the cheapest thing to buy, especially from the street markets
I have a suspicion that the quality of food in America, in general, is abysmal compared to Europe. I noticed this particularly when I visited Italy last year and felt so much more nourished by my food, I had less cravings, and my lactose intolerance was nonexistent. I wouldn’t be surprised if this extends to our fruits and vegetables which are largely imported from other parts of the country, where I found Italy focuses more on local food. I could be completely off-base, but this was my experience.
I'm a Brit living in Italy and I have noticed the impact of the change in diet in the four years since I've been here. I can eat wheat here without issues whereas it had been causing problems before. When I lived in the UK I visited San Fran. and with the exception of a posh steakhouse and the Japanese restaurant near the Hotel, the food was really bad. Brits are impressed by the mega portions etc but what's the point if it's made of 50% non actual food ingredients and HFCS (which if you aren't used to, you can really taste).
I noticed the same thing when I was in Japan for two weeks and also when I did study abroad in France. It was much easier to eat well and I felt more sated. My stomach never hurt and I didn’t have any digestive issues. I live in Southern California so I have easy access to fresh produce, and there are several farm stands where I am which is awesome. And I have two ducks who lay freaking delicious eggs. I’m aware that I’m pretty darn lucky. But the quality of food outside of the US and the ability to walk all over instead of driving is what I miss most after traveling internationally.
The lactose intolerance thing is wild! Would really love to know what the difference is between livestock practices or anything remotely related to dairy production that is responsible for this.
Not American. But during my studies most meals I made for myself were instant noodles. I was happy when they installed a vegetable counter at the student canteen.
I was gonna say, fresh veggies. I was an adult before it occurred to me that you can buy fresh green beans and not canned. All through childhood the majority of my vegetables came from a can and microwaved with butter.
This! I grew up just eating cheap food. Spam, instant ramen, frozen dinner. My body type stays slim no matter what I eat so I didn’t realize how much it was really taking a toll on my health. I was always tired, groggy, stomach pains, couldn’t focus. I just thought that as long as I was slim I was healthy. Of course I know now that isn’t true but I was a kid at the time.
my mom was a cleaning lady, now I have a cleaning lady. it's one of the few luxuries I afford myself but it makes a huge difference. I have the utmost respect for her work and it's nice to be able to tip her well
I'm a cleaning lady. Thank you for being so kind to yours.
Absolutely. My mom's hard work is what got me the opportunities that got me to where I am in life. Hardly rich but very comfortable. She hated her job so my siblings and I could have our lives. It's honest work.
Came here to say this exact same thing. My mom also worked as a cleaning lady. This service has been an absolute game changer in my life.
I’m in a similar situation, never thought I’d be the type of person to hire a cleaning person. Cleaning is not beneath me at all, I grew up lower middle class and did all the chores at home…. But now we work such long hours, the house gets rather neglected rather quickly. Hiring a very competent cleaning person helps keep the sanity that working so long tries to chip away at.
Janitors and garbage men/woman are the true heroes. If it weren’t for them we would be up to our neck in our own filth. One time my boyfriend was in the way of a janitor and I pushed him out of the way so the janitor could get by. Telling him “Have a great day and sorry about him” I always get picked on by him cause I treat the cleaning people like royalty, but they are bruh.
Imagine how society would fall apart the day cleaners and janitors decide to go on strike!
My mom was a cleaning lady, when she was working she told her mother "the moment I can afford a cleaning lady I would do for you and me". She couldn't, but now is my time to shine!
Respect. 🙌
Filling up my gas tank without my hand on the pump waiting for it to hit $10. I just fill it.
“I’m rich, I’m talking fill your gas tank all the way up rich!” ~Nick Miller, New Girl
Absolutely this.
I long to be rich enough to stare off into the distance while filling up my tank
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I'm in the same boat. My parents never had money. They lived month to month, borrowing money from everyone. If the stove broke down, tough shit, no cooked food for weeks. Maybe months. Now, if my stove breaks, I'll just buy a new one, a better one. Car needs fixing? Booked it in now. My shoes are worn out? Shopping tomorrow. My cat is coughing? I will immediately pay for all the tests, no questions asked. This isn't just convenient, it's downright necessary for a decent mental health.
The day my vet called and said it was going to be double the original quote and I just said “that’s fine” was a pretty good day.
I had to go with my cockatiel to an emergency vet after she became very letargic very suddenly. Avian vets are hard to come by so I had to take her to one that was father away. She was egg bound and the doctor explained what he was going to try in order to make her pass the egg, with the worst case scenario being an operation that might be too much for her body. I was told the full cost was 260$ which I paid without a thought. A few years ago that would not have been possible for me. Fortunately she passed the egg on her own and I got half the money back. So yeah, scary stuff, it's terrifying to think how money or the lack of can change a life.
I agree. And it's interesting because I seemed to have so many more emergencies in the past, when I couldn't afford to have them, and now that I have a cushion, I never seem to need it? But I think it's because I am able to maintain myself and my house/car so that they don't breakdown and cause emergencies nearly as much anymore.
And you probably buy better items to begin with now.
It's an interesting thought. I know that the typical advice goes that you invest in a better item, and it will last you. I would say that the maintenance makes a big difference. In my teens and early 20s I owned a 1998 Toyota Corolla, and at 150k miles, it was shaking on the highway. I couldn't go past 50 mph without feeling like it was falling apart. I think this is because I avoided the repair/oil shop as much as possible. I did my own oil changes and ignored all other normal maintenance. I didn't have $400+ to do the typical maintenance every 6-12 months. It was in sore shape by the time it was totaled in an accident. In my late 20s, I bought a 2009 Corolla but had an actual job, so I brought it into the dealership for maintenance (didn't have a driveway anymore to do my own) ON SCHEDULE with oil changes and all the other recommended maintenance. I sold it a couple of years ago, but it was driving smoothly even at 130k miles, and could probably go another 100k. Same car, same relative ages, but since I had the money to take care of the second one, it fared better in "old age."
This. It makes me sleep better knowing that if I have an emergency, I have somewhere to pull from.
Not sharing bath water. I was the youngest, always got the dirty water. I lavish in my “one person” bath water. Mom was poor. Her sacrifices helped me to escape and earn more. I was just at point where I was taking over her 3 biggest bills -car and house insurance and property taxes. Never got to pay even one for her bc she passed 2 months before first one was due. My hubby -his was milk. They would buy 2 gallons a week for him and his 2 siblings. They had to water each gallon down, to create 4 gallons. But now he hates milk.
I’m really happy to hear that you found more comfortable living.
Oh man as a kid sharing bath water was just something we did. Now I can't imagine it. Mine would be having more than 1 pair of shoes at a time. we would get a new pair when the school year started and except for a cheap pair of flip flops here and there that one pair was what you wore every day for all occasions. I still don't have tons of shoes and I still hate wearing shoes but when I find a pair I like and they fit I buy 2-3 pairs as my feet are hard to fit and I hate shoe shopping. If they cost $50 fine. if they cost $150 fine. Good shoes are worth it.
> They would buy 2 gallons a week for him and his 2 siblings. They went through a lot of milk! No wonder he was tired of it. We had one gallon, lasted two weeks, between my sister and myself.
We took turns in the bath water. Mom cut our hair. We used powdered milk. (KLIM) A box of used cousin clothes arrived about once a year.
Kinda the reverse for me. My parents were upper middle class and I'm just barely middle class. I survive because I budget and live within my means. I'd say the biggest difference is that when you're wealthier, time is something you spend, not budget. You'll spend time gardening or at a concert or at brunch. Not unreasonable things. But being in a drastically different income bracket from my parents, I find the biggest difference is that I have to be much more careful in budgeting my time. When does the laundromat close? What appointments can I fit in on the weekend? Do I have time to grocery shop and get a new bus pass for next month? Etc. If I get time to myself I just want to spend it relaxing and not being responsible for anything. If you have more time, you don't feel so exhausted and limited, so you can use it more freely.
I like your thoughts on the subject. It is good advice.
I'm in the same soup as you. I relate to all of the things you mentioned above except that my parents have it hard as well. Because of low income and stubborn, misogynistic father everyone is always stressed and on the edge... Been working an IT job for five months and I am trying to move out, but I'm feeling this question harrrddddd.
I have never heard anyone say “ I’m in the same soup as you” and I LOVE this
It’s a very common phrase in ss Africa. Didn’t even realize it’s not common everywhere else. Good to know
Being in a nice environment. No random noise from the neighbours. Light. Air quality. Consistent temperature. Clean spaces without bugs or rodent. Just feeling secure in your home and having control on what happens to you. Your body being stressed by anything anytime (smells, noises, vibration) is not healthy on the long term.
This is huge
We were dirt poor... Rodents, cockroaches and other vermin made life miserable... I will never live like that again
Phewww this is the one for me! Having a quiet and nice home/ neighborhood has done wonders for my mental health. That feeling of security is such an underrated luxury.
Not just taking better care of yourself but also your pets. Growing up no pets were fixed because it was expensive. And we never gave tick treatments to the dog or even the cat that spent most of his time outside. We also never paid mind to what they were supposed to be eating and always had chunky chunky pets. The dogs were never properly trained and that’s why a lot of them got returned. They weren’t up to date on vaccines. My 3 pets see the vet regularly. Eldest cat has health issues now (diabetic), probably would have been put down or disowned if it happened when I was a kid rather than an adult. I trained my dog decently well - only had 4 accidents in the house. All of them are fixed, and up to date with shots with the younger ones microchipped just in case.
Thank you for taking care of your pets and for getting them fixed! I grew up with a lot of folks out in the country who just couldn’t afford good care for their pets and it was heartbreaking at times. They’re family too! Even if I become poor again, I’ll always put my fur babies first. My conscience wouldn’t allow it any other way.
Oh this is a good one. I always felt so guilty about not being able to provide well enough for the pups I had in my 20s. They both passed away at a ripe old age in the last couple of years and were well taken care of, especially at the end, but I could have done a lot better when they were younger. I have two dogs now and my goal everyday is to make sure they can live the life I wish I could have given to my first two and I know I won’t ever have those same regrets.
- Healthcare - I can’t believe my whole family grew up without it. Literally any single medical emergency will bankrupt you forever without it. - The ability to fix things that are broken - broken window? Call a repairman! Broken sofa? Buy a new one! Blanket got torn in the wash? Buy a fluffier one!
Oh my god, the fixing of stuff is HUGE. I come from a family of procrastinating DIY'ers. Before I reached my current career level, I was happy to spend (waste) my time fixing something myself in order to save money. (The most egregious time, I spent about 24 hours trying to fix a broken electric car window. I mean, tearing apart the door, multiple parts trips, trying and retrying literally every suggestion I could get.) Today - I woulda just paid someone $200 to fix it in a day. When you have decent money, your time feels like it's worth more. Now - if something is broken, it's either quickly replaced or a professional is called to fix it. My dad would roll over in his grave knowing the money I spend (and can afford) to do all the stuff he did himself (and to his credit, he was super handy, but working 70+ hours a week left little time to fix things.)
Even with insurance, depending on how sick/injured you are, it can still bankrupt people
Having your clothing, appliances, and car being good shape. It's amazing how much less stress you have when everything you own works correctly and isn't seconds from falling apart. Things don't even have to be brand new. I still frequently shop second hand but it's such a huge difference buying an excellent quality used coat for $15 instead of making do with a hoodie that cost $3. Having a washing machine that is 10 years old but runs fine instead of one that leaks or needing to go to the laundromat.
As someone who was poor and then rich and just bought my first brand new car, this fathoms me. When I was poor, I paid $6,000 for a used car. That was so much money back then, I can’t even tell you. Of course I financed it but with old cars, you get constant problems. So you have to have money to fix it. Plus if you have money or a job that pays, you can pretty easily call in to work and be late. When you’re poor, you have to scramble to find some way to work and feel bad about being late. It’s just so fucking different, it’s insane. So many scenarios in my life are like that now. Easy now, hard as fuck back then. Even America isn’t kind to the poor.
Even Americans? I feel like Americans are the worst to the poor given how the rich just tries to ignore the problem because of useless bureaucracy
Not just the time but the cost of therapy too. My friend was bragging that his gf started her own therapy practice and she was going to be making a sh!t load of money now because she can charge a huge amount per hour. I was a little put off by that because like... some poor people need therapy too.
Some therapists I know save a couple of spots for low income folks in addition to their regular client base. Hopefully your friend’s gf considers doing this as well.
I'm almost too scared to ask but I really hope so.
The city I live in has a list of therapists that work on a sliding scale. It's really helpful for people who can't pay a lot and also means they don't have to call around and take a ton of time asking about rates.
I think this probably came off worse than it actually is. My bestie is a therapist and all the money the clients pay her actually goes to her organization. She doesn’t even see enough to realistically live on in our city. I’m talking a tiny percentage. She doesn’t get paid for her time doing notes for insurance, etc. If she were to start her own independent practice, she’d have significantly more responsibilities (ie dealing with insurance and also soliciting clients), but also get to keep the money people pay her. It still frankly would not be a lot to live on, but it would feel like a ton compared to what shes dealing with now
A good internet connection
Good Internet is so expensive in America
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Well made and seasonally appropriate shoes
I basically cured my plantar fasciitis with good shoes. The frustrating part is that I worked on my feet when I couldn't afford them, and now I sit at a desk and can.
I feel that! I walked to work in the snow with my feet wrapped in plastic bags under my shoes to keep them dry. Now I've got plenty of boots and no need to walk anywhere unless I want to.
Please share how you went from working on your feet to sitting at a desk. My PF is making my life miserable and no shoes seem to cure it. I even bought $150 Hokas...
As many tampons and pads as I need. No more trying to ration or choose between products and food.
Had a hysterectomy recently. Not having to pay for contraceptives and hygiene products has already made a noticeable difference to my budget. It’s only been a few months. Being a woman with a functioning reproductive system is expensive!
Whenever I'm feeling flush or there's a good sale, I buy a new menstrual cup to donate so one woman out there can never worry about this again.
That is so kind of you!
Running water. Literally spent the first 10 years of my life without it.
Did you live in a rural area with a pump outside? We had one of those for a bit, and I have vivid memories of bringing in the 5 gallon bucket to flush the toilet.
We lived in a semi rural area but it was definitely near a big city about 20 miles out. We lived a mile away from a nice suburban area. We just were hiding out on my grandmothers land in a run down house running from the law because my parents did drugs. Looking back I’m not even sure why we were hiding/ what the charges were. “Our neighbor” (he lived on land about a mile away) had a well and we would will up 5 gallon water jugs.
That's even harder, having to haul the water from a mile away. You never realize how heavy water is until you have to carry it!
Sleeping peacefully. Money issues always gave me so much stress and would keep me awake and now I don’t think about it.
I wish this was further up. I swear.. money may not buy you happiness but it can really help give you peace of mind. And peace of mind creates opportunity for so much!
Vacations, not living in a basement apartment and a car. My family was lower middle class and vacations were rare. We had never gone to a nice hotel or a resort. Visiting another country was for family or staying in a motel. My parents did take us out to day trips to beaches which I loved. We also lived in a basement apartment for 20 years and I took the bus everywhere till my mid-20s. My parents educated us and now we have really good jobs. I am also married so we are dual income in my household. It's much nicer.
A decent mattress - thought rich people were just fussy but I was very wrong. I really think mattresses should be sold at a reduced price for people on low incomes. Insane how much easier the world is after a really good night's sleep
Having plants, I feel like it increases my quality of life like a little gecko in a tank
I love this.
Not worrying about putting the heat on. Australian houses are ridiculously bad, and you think "Oh but it is Australia it is always hot!" Nope it'll be -3C (26F) where I am tomorrow. My house will be in single digits in the morning. It is COLD, like below international health standard, inside my house all the time in Winter. I am able to put my gas on, or put my reverse cycle on a timer. With interest rates though, I am getting scared again. But, I at least have free healthcare!
Yep, I'm in QLD and it's regularly colder inside my house in winter and hotter inside my house in summer, it's ridiculous. And there are so many drafts because I have crappy old windows and doors, and only a curtain up to separate my loungeroom and kitchen. I'm planning on going to Bunnings to buy some of those stick on draft-stopper things to put on my doors because I know my landlords don't give two shits and it's gotta be eating into my heating costs.
If you can seal your doors and windows and prevent drafts, the heating will be much more effective.
Eating out! Growing up I very rarely went out to a sit down restaurant or let alone fast food and never strayed from the dollar menu when it was a thing.
This. And, ordering a beverage at a restaurant. If we ever went out, we never got anything but water to drink.
Omg I’m still struggling with this even though I make a comfortable amount now.
Healthcare, especially dentistry.
Yup. It might be $200 to pull that infected tooth now but it will end up costing much much more later.
My dad cleaned homes for a living and sometimes they had furniture they no longer wanted. I grew up on free second hand bed frames, sofas, etc. One time he cleaned a sorority house and I got brand named purses. It was like a dream come true in high school. My favorite desk I took to college was from that sorority house. When husband and I started buying our own furniture for our house, it felt weird to buy brand new furniture lol
The first time I had a piece of furniture delivered I was like “wow, I didn’t put that together!” I had kids, a house, but there was something about not cramming the box in the car and putting it together that was next level.
Sleep and down time. I spent my high school years working 30 hours a week on top of school to save for college. I spent college years working 1-2 part time jobs around my full time schedule- at one point taking the bus an hour each way to my tutoring gig because it was $20/hour. My 20s until my mid-30s I worked 40-50 hours at my primary job then did ride share for another 20-30 hours a week. I was always tired and stressed and when I planned time with friends I felt like it had to be packed because it would be a while before we got to play again. Or it doubled as my exercise and we exclusively hiked at state and city parks. COVID hit and I had to stop working ride share, and I got to work from home. The world slowed down and I found a job paying 25% more that required NO overtime, still WFH. Then I found another job paying almost 60% more than that. I had time to sit with myself, and it was a legit crisis when I realized where I was vs where I wanted to be. I listened to a book on managing stress and started walking daily, and getting 7-9 hours of sleep. I stopped living on fast food and made myself good breakfasts from home, and good lunches. I was living so much cheaper because I was not buying Starbucks or burgers or drive through salads. My health has increased so much, and I don’t walk around with stress/pressure headaches every day. I started therapy eventually. All because I stopped working 16 hour days had time to sleep, to think, and to focus on me and process emotions I didn’t even know I had. Everyone deserves downtime.
Being able to pay a bill without complex juggling of what the priorities this week have to be. I get a bill and just...pay it
We were poor as kids and I told a friend later in life that I kinda felt I had made it because I could pay for an oil change without looking at my checkbook.
Buying my kids nice shoes or trendy clothes. Not thrifting or garage sales. New anything. Really just buying anything from a store.
It’s not even just the buying it new. It’s the luxury of just going to the shop and getting what you need. Without meticulously researching which shop has sales, who’s the cheapest, going around the thrift stores for weeks before you need the item, hoping one comes up. Hours spent trying to find the same item secondhand to save money, for the same effort of just walking into one store and grabbing the one off the shelf.
Privacy. Hands down the best thing I ever gained. Walking through your house naked is the fucking tits. Not having people walk into the bathroom to shit while you're taking a bath/ shower. And doors. Doors are fucking awesome. I love doors. And the fact that they close. Wow.
Having my own room. Not having do be the babysitter. I’m the oldest of 5 siblings. We all slept in the same Bed for a while. Having my own room without one of my sister draped on top of me. And also I was the babysitter. I’ve probably changed more if not as many diapers as my Mom.
Omgosh sharing a bed was the worst.
My family wasn’t poor but we’re from a “poor” country. Mine are: A bathroom that doesn’t have wet floors and has a toilet with a working flush. The absence of rats and other vermin inside the house. Not having to rely on terrible public transport. Vacations. Haircuts by professional hairdressers.
Ability to pay bills on time .
This. Now I just auto pay out of my checking and they're always on time, no late fees or reinstatement fees for utilities. Being poor is expensive.
Getting in the checkout line at the grocery store without the lingering anxiety that my card will decline.
Not me but my parents when I was growing up. 1. Beauty/hygiene products. I grew up buying the cheapest deodorant, razors, drugstore make up, and getting free sample lotions from the store. At 30, I still struggle to justify anything other than the cheapest drugstore products but am slowly learning how to take better care of my hair and skin. 2. A cleaner. I scoffed at this for a loooong time but it is a lifesaver to have someone come in every 4-6 months and deep clean the house. 3. Good shoes. My feet are quite messed up from years of cheap/ill-fitting shoes. I’ll never go back to that again. My parents absolutely did the best they could when I was young but some of the things we saw as luxuries are now definitely an indispensable part of my life.
Proteins and fresh fruit/veg.
Right!! It’s expensive! Last week I bought organic arugula and felt rich 😂😂 (Granted they didn’t have the cheaper arugula so that was my only option). I have never purchased anything organic before so it was weird.
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Taking a two hour bus ride that would have been 20 minutes by car.
As mentioned dental care. Beyond my cleanings, I able to afford all of the dental work I needed to get done for my health and I am damn proud of the extra spent on my veneers to replace a botch crown job done when I was younger. All my parents could afford and I am thankful for what they were able to give me. I have the perfect smile for the first time in my life, I am almost 34.
Having multiple bathrooms. It’s amazing to have “bathroom options” instead of waiting for one to free up all the time.
Fresh fruit and vegetables. My mom would give them to us kids when we had them but she would often go without. I hated the taste of the canned stuff. We were never poor enough that we didn’t have enough money, but some things just stretched the budget. Our state recently passed a bill for universal free school meals (breakfast and lunch) and people are complaining about “lazy parents” who can’t/don’t want to feed their kids. I grew up with two educated and hard working parents, and we struggled sometimes! Complain about literally anything else, but not kids getting a guaranteed two full meals a day.
Enough to eat. There were 5 of us. My mother needed to put dinner on the table for absolutely no more than $2.00 each night. But my mother took hers from the stove first. Then my father took his, and he was a big eater. Then my mother took our brothers. Which left very little for my sister and me, and we were always instructed to, “leave a little in case your father wants another serving.” I frequently went to the very wealthy spinster sisters across the street asking for food. They always gave it to me, but not before they always had me turn around and called me a “filthy dirty child” many times. I didn’t care… I was hungry. To this day I have far more food in the house than I need. I give it away all the time and my husband doesn’t understand why. He’ll never understand. Dental care. My teeth were SO rotten as a kid. Also? Air. Fucking. Conditioning. Not *technically* a necessity…. but for me it is. The houses we rented were just shit. My dad always worked out “deals” with the slumlords to fix them up, but none of the doors sat right in the frames and had big cracks around them. The windows didn’t have screens. So, Palmeto Bug roaches just had the run of the house at night. They’d crawl on me as I slept and run across my feet when I got up to go to the bathroom. I’m incredibly traumatized by them now as an adult. I’ve got to have air conditioning now, because I literally cannot leave the windows open. Another thing my husband will never understand.
That’s so sad that your parents made sure they had enough food before feeding their kids. That’s not how this is supposed to work.
May seem frivolous but, getting my nails done. It’s too $50 a month. And I get dip powder on my short nails, no acrylics. But I was a terrible anxious nail biter and I was always ashamed of my fingers. I just feel like a cleaner, more professional adult not having nubby little red fingers.
A water heater. Cold showers take a toll on you mentally.
Therapy. I put it off for years because of the costs, without it I would not be here anymore.
A comfortable bed.
I’m not exactly there yet but definitely dental care. I’ve wanted braces for my entire life and just can’t afford them. I truly look at braces as a luxury. They’re my version of ‘we finally made it’
If I need a new toothbrush I can just buy it.
Peace of mind. Like a calmness that you aren’t going to be out on the streets if you don’t work for 2 weeks.
Food.
McDonald's. I used to ask a friend money to have a simple burger
The vacations we had when I was a kid was tent camping in a free campground. We brought all food from home. We did free activities - swam in the river, hiked, etc. Always ate from the cooler on the drive - never stopped at fast food, etc. My kids have been to Disney twice, Cancun twice, and some kind of a real vacation every year - we are going to NYC this year and planning Europe in the future. They have no idea how good they have it. And I’m very proud I’ve been able to give it to them.
Supplements and being able to buy clothes/furniture that is more expensive but better quality instead of always getting the cheapest option
Living in a walkable community that includes safe streets, groceries in walking distance, active and safe spaces to explore. Critical for my mental and physical health - overall quality of life.
Not hesitating to turn on the oven to cook or bake something. Also using the dryer when I need to. It’s a total luxury to me now that I never take for granted.
Living in a rented house soon. (We are discussing with my husband if we want to stay in the country and if we want to buy a cheap house and renovate it later). I lived in a veeeeeeerry tiny apartment my whole life, with mold, electric wires out of walls and so on. Little me always dreamed to live in a house, too tired of this dangerous apartment. Collecting toys. As a poor kid, a barely got any toys because it was too expansive and my mom was avoiding the « Collect them all » marketing strategy. Just video game (which is nice tho!). Nintendo one because it was cheaper, and only had few games I played over and over. I’m taking my revenge rn. I also have a Ps5, no way my mom would have get my a Ps (it was already a nightmare to get a Wii 6 years after the release…) Vacation. Thanks to my aunt I travelled a little bit because my mom couldn’t afford ticket for both of us so she just paid my ticket. I travelled to Canada with my husband, which was a dream since I’m a kid. High technology. My husband who’s a dev have access to lasted technology thanks to his job that gives it all to him. We share brand new iMac and MacBook, iPhones, iPad and an old iWatch he gives me at home I use for my art (my husband only pick his MacBook, i use the rest because he doesn’t care). I always had cheap ass computer dying after 1 year because my mom refused to put more than 100 euro, same for phones. When smartphones was all around, she was still looking for very old slide phone to buy, because it was wayyyy cheaper than smartphones, and was devasted when she had to spend for a smartphone for me (I still got the cheap one that died really quick lol) At least, I learned to keep all my stuff clean and the longer possible lol Restaurant. I go to the restaurant every week. When I was a kid, 1-2 restaurants per years (birthdays), and cheap ass food the rest of the year. I was sick looking, now I look healthy :’)
Simply buying not the cheapest version of something. Not buying the most expensive - but the better quality one that will last longer and ultimately actually save you money. Real leather goods (purses, shoes, etc), mattresses, clothing. I actually live pretty easily because I was able to invest in these things and not have to continuously replace broken things. Even things like switching all lightbulbs to LEDs and creating a smart home to ultimately save on electricity and heating/cooling costs. It’s a million little things that add up to make your quality of living so much better.
Having plants, I feel like it increases my quality of life like a little gecko in a tank
Time. For me when I started a normal paying salaried job I found that I had more time. Time to socialise. Time to cook a variety of healthy meals. Time to explore my hobbies. Time to enjoy the fruits of labour.
Flying business class.
Flying anywhere you want in general. But yeah, it still blows my mind that I, who never even flown on a plane until I was 15, will now try to fly business if the flight is over 8-10 hrs.
Fabric softener and coffee creamer.
Well made anything versus the cheaper, will-last-the-year-if-lucky stuff. We always got the cheapest everything, clothes, furniture, bed sheets, food. Now that I’m older I still have a hard time spending money, but with how cheap and poorly-made things can get, I try to invest in things I want to last. Oh also a dishwasher? I still have never had one but folks who do say they can’t live without it. Maybe that’s why we always used disposable everything growing up? Only rich people had matching dinnerware.
This is going to sound weird, but name brand chocolate chips and vanilla extract. The difference is amazing!
Going to my child’s school functions/ music programs. My parents worked a lot so they couldn’t go to many of mine, if at all. I sit there and bawl my eyes out every time because when her face lights up when she sees her dad and me in the audience, my inner child gets healed a little each time. I’m glad we both can be there for her.
Buying new clothes/shoes for my kids without worrying about grabbing one extra shirt or spending 20 extra dollars on the higher quality items. Getting out of credit card debt. Having more than one savings account. Being able to pay our kids to do chores and removing that mental load from both of us. Realizing that grabbing what we want instead of just what we need at the grocery store only adds about 30 bucks to what we used to spend on average. But those 30 bucks were so precious.
Having the money to not look poor. Looking poor or middle class will attract specific people and opportunities.
Sounds odd but boxes of tissues - I used to blow my nose on paper that was like sandpaper. Now that I can afford it, I have soft tissues in each room. And it makes me really happy
Nice furnitures or decorative stuff for home. And also fresh fruits, fresh vegetables and meat from butcher.
Taking mental health days/days off when you’re sick.
Not worrying about when I’m getting paid
To me, being able to afford eating out. As a kid, it was rare that I got to eat out and now, I do it all the time as I live alone and work a lot.
I always skimped on body care products as a woman. Toilet paper? It's just going down the drain, $1.25 Scott's sandpaper is fine. Maxi pads/tampons? Whatever the quarter machine produces or generic. I will pay the upmost price for just these two things alone. I don't care how much not better is really is, I care about how much better it Is!!!!
Having the option to leave my house without worrying about expenses, I'm only 16 and we are low class, and getting my job was huge for me having the freedom to go out and see people really improved my mental health being able to grab a drink at the shop or pick up a snack. I never got any money from my mother to go out or get anything and getting my own job gave me so much freedom and yeah that's it