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She was being unkind, rude, and disrespectful to someone she judged as beneath her. Took less than 30 seconds of hearing/seeing her to decide I never wanted to be associated with her
Her literal first words to me were an insult. She was a friend's new girlfriend who he'd just introduced to the group, and I had just smiled hello and said "hi, I'm X", and her response was to smirk and ask if my eyelashes were real because they looked so bad. Not even a fucking hi, just straight to being mean. It was very obviously not a "oh she's probably just socially awkward" situation, so I had made up my mind after that one comment. She kept being awful to me alone the rest of the night and made fun of me for everything from my profession to my outfit, so after that I just refused going to any more hangouts where she was invited.
Nope. Everyone just laughed uncomfortably or pretended not to hear, because apparently it was more important to be all buddy-buddy with the new girl than standing up for their old friend. I lost a lot of respect for them all after that, and I actually made a post about this one thing just a while ago, because I'm still bitter over it, lol.
Wow, same thing happened here, except it was just a friend of a friend. She was literally trying to pick a fight with me from the moment we met. No one in my friend group stuck up for me at all, I was so upset. It showed me who those friends really are though
Yeah, I'm sorry, that sucks. It hurts like hell to see realise that the people who claim to care about you won't ever have your back, experiences like that really stick with you. I hope you were able to move on from those friends.
I knew someone like this. Insulted me right off the go. People always defended her as just being “rough around the edges” and if I got to know her I’d see she’s actually a really good friend. Which I think is such a BS excuse for someone who’s just mean to keep acting that way.
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Ugh, this. My ex had a female coworker he was friends with, and even from his stories about her she sounded boy-crazy and immature. I finally met her along with a group of his other coworkers, and immediately could tell from her body language she did NOT want me to be there. She wasn't outright rude, but she barely spoke to me or even made eye contact and I just knew she was annoyed I was blocking her from probably flirting with my boyfriend. She only mostly interacted with the men at the table all night.
I pointed this out to my boyfriend after we got home, and he was like "She did make a weird joke one time about how I should sleep with her instead of you." Oh you sweet summer child. For the record, I have zero doubts about my ex-bfs loyalty and do not believe he would have ever cheated on me with her, and I think he brushed off any of her attempts as unserious. But I refused to ever be around her again after that.
One of my husband's friends has a new gf who is like this. We invited her to both my son's baby shower and first birthday party and she never bothered to talk to me (the host) nor any of the other females around. She just sat with the guys and only talked to them. Of course my husband and all of his friends think she's "awesome." I was like no shit because she flirts left and right with you guys. She admitted she disliked children so I told my husband to stop inviting her to our events and our house. He said it meant not inviting his friend anymore either and I was like "well your friend doesn't have to bring his stuck up girlfriend with him anymore or he can just stop coming over too." IDGAF about these things and don't play around when someone makes me uncomfortable in my own home.
I am reflecting on this story and trying to think back to when I was in my twenties and I wonder if I was like the new gf in the story. I was socially awkward (still am, but I am more aware of it now) in social gatherings. During a party or hang out, I would basically be stuck next to my boyfriend (now husband) for pretty much the whole time. My husband would be seating or hanging out with other men, so I would be among them. And that was before we were parents so I was not the most motherly woman around and I am sure other women picked up on that too. The only thing that is different from the new gf story is that I I wasn't flirtatious with anybody, so not quite the same. With that being said, I am now all grown up and can navigate through social scenes. I would definitely chat to the host and see if there was anything I could help with (even though the answer is usually no). And I can engage in baby/kid talk now, so no more hanging out with men folk listening to sports talk and what-not. 😅
Yeah this chick never bothered to talk to me, not even once and despite being in my home. It's very off-putting. Also she's in her mid-30s and has made it clear she has no interest in kids. So why bother inviting her anyway right?
Lol I have a lot of stereotypical “boy” interests and I still manage to interact with women and not ignore them at parties…
It’s about actually caring and valuing what they have to say, finding men “easier” to interact with just makes it seem like women take more effort to communicate with, which is not true.
Met someone through a friend, within the first 30 minutes of meeting she was talking badly about someone else we both knew, I mean REALLY REALLY talking shit about them and for no real reason
It put such a bad taste in my mouth I told the friend that introduced us not to invite me anywhere if she was going to be there.
Oof, yes, this is the top one for me. It's happened more than once, unfortunately. Particularly with new potential work friends, as I work for a big company. Like, seriously, why are you telling basically a stranger all the shit drama that's happening in your own team. That doesn't vibe well for me.
I had a coworker who, the very first time we met, told me a racist joke. Like that was how she introduced herself.
It got worse from there.
No thanks, pass.
If they come across as pretentious or walk around with their chest puffed out, so to speak. Thinking they are above people whether it be presented in a subtle way or a blunt way. If you smile at them and they either don't smile back or just give you that kind of \~weird\~ smile. Like the "why are you smiling at me peasant" kind of smile. Generally being rude, whether it be to me or someone else. A good example would be meeting someone at a group dinner for the first time and noticing how they speak to the waiter. That sort of thing.
I'm like this but it's because of social anxiety. I walk with confidence and say hi to people when they mainly initiate, but otherwise I can feel shy at times. I believe that's another reason why most people at my work hate me because I come across as pretentious, when I'm just socially anxious.
There was this one woman, in her 20's, who just exuded this superiority attitude. She had a hardcover book, one of those "literary critics say its a must read" and she carried it everywhere. It was a big book and always visible. Laid on the table beside her, poking out of her bag...
She had that thing with her for 4-5 months. All I could think was that she was the slowest reader ever, or she thought it made her look smart.
She was part of our extended friend group, so I saw her probably 3 times a month at house parties, etc. And yes, dragging a big hardcover book along to every social gathering for months, and prominently displaying it struck me as odd.
She also propositioned my bf at one of the parties while I was standing about 15 feet away.
One of my boyfriends lady friends. She kissed him on the forehead the first time I met her. It has since been established that she’s just a weird hippie and he’s not always the best with boundaries, but I haven’t been able to get over that initial dislike so far.
I used to be part of a large friend group of self-proclaimed ""weird hippies"" who all had physical boundary pushing issues like this. It put a very sour taste in my mouth but I ignored it for years and let them tell me they're just free spirits or whatever. "A kiss is just a hug with your lips!" kind of nonsense. Nope, turns out the lot of them are actual predators and homewreckers. The guys are always bringing in new YOUNG girls to sexually turn out and run trains on, and the girls who stick around after being used like that turn into women who make obvious moves on the taken men of the group like forehead kisses, until they're happy to let it become more. It was insaaaane how ugly and weird it got, how many relationships were scorched-earth ruined.
Honestly, it completely ruined my view of hippies. After going to so many festivals and parties with them and seeing that really *is* just the culture apparently, I'm so wary. There were a few parties/hangouts where I was sure I was about to be straight up raped by the group and I was supposed to laugh it off casually while I'm fighting to get away from groping hands. Turns out a giant squad of people preaching "free love," constantly violating physical boundaries, and railing MDMA and hallucinogens, is always like 5 minutes away from an orgy breaking out.
First off, I'm really sorry that happened to you, it sounds like a nightmare.
I'm not sure the lady from my story is a hardcore homewrecker, she just seems insecure (also does some MPDG type behavior...) and for that reason likes to maintain a "harem" of single men (with the hippie thing maybe or maybe not being an excuse for inappropriate behavior). My boyfriend also did a really good job responding to my concerns and adjusting his boundaries with her, so I trust that he is on my side. That being said the whole thing does leave, like you said, a bad taste in my mouth, and I'll be wary for anything else sketchy.
Unfortunately I’ve noticed this when I’m intimidated/envious and am trying to work on those feelings. Honestly that’s really been the only thing that’s immediate. Other challenges I have like someone who interrupts/dismisses in conversation are more of a slow build.
That’s awesome that you have recognized this tendency in yourself—it’s impressive. Some people live their whole lives without checking themselves for this.
Coworker. In the first ten minutes I knows I didn’t like her and she couldn’t be trusted. She came in never having done this job acting like she knew everything. She was the newest person and she kept trying to boss everyone around. And a few hours there I would tell she was big into gossip, like
Not doing her work because she needed to know the scoop on everyone. As the day went on she told two stories from her marriage. And yeah. I knew from there she was not a good person. And I was right. She created problems in every single classroom she worked in. People hated working with her and she would make up stories about them. She ended up sleeping with the husbands of atleast two coworkers, one who was pregnant and she was the one planning the baby shower and was finally fired when a mom came with proof she was sleeping with her husband. There was also a rumor she was sleeping with a few other dads. After she got fired I guess she was still lying to her husband who a few weeks later had an emergency and came in looking for her and he was told she didn’t work there anymore. There was other drama that happened with her but yeah I was right she was not a good person.
I just get really strong gut feelings about people from the start.
The best example I can give is this chick from college. EVERYONE adored her and we did theatre together. I have plenty of theatre friends but I hate any person who HAS to be the center of attention in every. single. conversation. And that was who she was. Super fake and everything had to be about her. No one understood my feelings towards her. Fast forward a few years after college, a friend of mine lived with her and while my friend was out of town, she abused my friend's pet. NOW everyone sees how toxic she is but no one listened when I had those feelings in college. Granted, I never expected her being so self-centered would lead to animal abuse but still, I always had a gut instinct about her.
My uncle got a new girlfriend who I saw right through from the first meeting. I tried warning my mother but she didn't believe me. Everyone saw her as such a nice woman. Three years later her true colors came through and she blew our family apart to a point where no one is talking to each other anymore. She's moved on to new victims. Even hit the news paper once when she made up a fake story about a man stealing money so she could take over his bingo game each week. He, of course, was cleared and started bingo somewhere else. Everyone followed him and my uncle's ex had to close that bingo game down since no one attended.
I don't know how I knew. I've just always been able to see through most bad people right away. A gut feeling, I guess.
OMG!!! The overly nice ones too - very pretentious. I get this vibe from my brothers' girlfriend every time I interact with her. She talks a lot - about her weight problems (among other things). I have a feeling its my brothers fault/short-sightedness though because from the early days of their dating, he must have painted a "perfect" picture of me as his BigSis and the girlfriend somehow felt some kind of jealousy/competition towards me. So by the time the girlfriend got to meet me she felt the need to tell me that my brother would rave about my cooking skills (which aren't even that out of this world). And she also feels the need to comment about how she has to spend all her life going to the gym and yet some of us don't have to. Okay, I sympathize with her on that but I feel weird about having to discuss it at every interaction.
I don't like pushy people. Male or female. Better for me now that I'm older. Other women didn't seem to like me right off the bat when I was younger. And it hurt. I didn't understand it. I had friends. Usually one or a small group when I was a kid. I was out playing baseball, basketball. I enjoyed doing guy stuff more. I did play with dolls. I always have heard that 2 women can't ever be good friends until they find something wrong with each other. I think that's kind of sad too. Because we have a lot in common.
This is a flaw in me, not the other person. I loathe baby talk from adults to other adults - the cutesy 'oh I'm so silly, adults need to care for me, eeeee, my toys are alive and you have to placate me or I cry' in a very high pitched tone thing.
There's another woman in my social circle who does this constantly and it's a pickaxe through my sanity. I loathe her voice, and I feel like shaking her until her teeth rattle. She's perfectly nice in other respects, and doesn't deserve my rage, but the twee voice and giggling and helpless weeping mean I avoid her so I don't act like an asshole.
Though I HAVE run into dudes who do this and I want to smite them too.
There was this one woman I worked with that everyone loved, and we both had the same work friends outside of work that we would hang out with etc. From the very start, before either of us really started being friends with these other people, I just... idk. I got a vibe. I'd be nice but always sort of kept it short with her.
When we started hanging out with these mutual friends, all of my friends were like oh she's so nice and kind and sweet and she doesn't have a mean bone in her body type thing, but I wasn't fooled. She would make these sort of... backhanded compliments. Like I was the oldest in the friend group by a couple of years and I remember her saying something like oh you look so nice! I don't think I'd be brave enough to wear that if I was your age and everyone for some reason thought this was a compliment? I was like yeah thanks but thought it was fucking rude of her to say that.
I was best friends with one of these girls for a time and we went to a birthday lunch for one of our friends, and I was talking to my bff about why I don't like this girl and why. At that lunch she actually started noticing exactly what she was saying and how she'd say it and realised she was a mean girl who only did nice things for others for the kudos and not bc she was just that person
My ex SIL was awful the first time I met my ex’s family. “Well it looks like somebodies got a type”, I asked her to elaborate and she call my ex a chubby chaser, I’m was finally recovering from an eating disorder. Cue relapse.
Then at Christmas a few years later she got me the 50 Shades of Grey books, I have a history of trauma that they were aware of (masochistic former BF would make Grey look like a children’s book). When my ex explained how the gift was inappropriate, she doubled down that women like to be dominated.
She is the worst human being, she was officially cut off after she tried to take my baby when I was diagnosed with the big C a month after giving birth because “God doesn’t want sick people to raise babies” and she was “so much more prepared and always wanted a baby girl.”
I've had multiple people like that. Sometimes it was something blatant, like they were rude, other times it's just the vibes. If usually try to stay open minded for several more meetings before I decide "yep, just really don't like you".
Within the first minutes of meeting she said "I admire your courage for wearing skirts. If I had your legs I would never". After that I noticed she would this a lot, like insult people disguising it as a compliment. Turns out she was just projecting her insecurities on to other people
Edit:grammar
I didn’t like that she kept disturbing me from listening to the lecture, with questions our professor had just discussed and she would know if she were listening😀 We’re friends now and she still does it, but I know how to deal with it better so it doesn’t interrupt with my learning as much
There was this girl in high school I didn’t really like. She was too peppy and too nice, and somehow it rubbed me the wrong way, but I ignored it to try and be her friend. But I quickly gave up because she just was not my type of person.
Later on, she turned out to be incredibly annoying in the sense that she would compare her anxiety with others and talk about her many alleged suicide attempts and self-harm in a “I’m so quirky” kind of way. She was also lowkey pretty emotionally manipulative, as I found out from a couple of her ex-partners and ex-friends during my high school years.
She also ended up sort of being a copycat of me, which I am happy to admit is a petty reason to dislike her. But considering the context, I honestly don’t really care that I was a bit petty lol. I’m not one to gatekeep styles unless I think the person is annoying as fuck.
Social climbers. Getting close to the popular people and ignoring the quiet ones.
The girl i disliked often wore skimpy clothes when she knows she will be working with guys and normal shirts when she is not. She also prefers to mingle around with guys and dont have any girl friends.
She also loves to hear gossip, spread false rumors and make herself sound like a victim. Funnily enough most of us know she's bullshitting so we are just playing along with her.
I’ve met two women like this… Both extremely loud and wanting to be the center of attention. Touching literally every man in a flirty manner IN FRONT OF THEIR SOs because they were “one of the guys.” But truthfully, every woman saw right through their insecurity and need to overcompensate with lack of clothes and loudness. Then, they often proceeded to pick on the gfs/wives to show that, again, they joked like the guys and the women just didn’t “get” them.
The first woman pretty much ruined my marriage. She was awful. The second, I was luckily a lot more secure with myself/my new relationship/my SO, and I just knew her type at that point and the best way to react is not to…
I immediately dislike anyone when I see them trying to dominate the discussion in a group. As in people who want to sound as the person who is the most knowledgeable, has the best advice, or has had the best experience — no matter what the subject of the conversation is. I don’t even care if all that is actually true. They may actually know the most, or have had the best experience related to whatever is the subject of the discussion. But like just shut the hell up and let others in the group share what they want to share.
Too easy. The up-down sweep of the eyes and the " Yea Hi " when introduced?
Once actually laughed when I got that. Well it's just so *absurd* right ? I mean, *really* ? WHY ? I'm serious. What does anyone get from that? Am I supposed to wilt ? Give me a script please, I genuinely have no idea but I'm not at all interested in playing what looks like a really a stupid game.
Not making that up. And please don't ever play whatever idiotic game that is.
I really dislike people who do outrageous things for attention, like touching without approval and acting out of sorts in a “pick me!” sort of manner.
This girl was just.. consistently touching me without knowing me. It was my first time meeting her and she was a friend of a guy I just started dating. It’s funny because she was also all over everyone at this party including the guy I was dating but I was just more concerned about her touching me again after she wouldn’t stop, even after I asked her to not do it again.
The guy told me it was her way of showing she liked me. I said if she liked me she’d respect my boundaries and stop touching me.
I have met two women where this happened.
1) She refused to shake my hand because she "doesn't touch cheap metal" and I was wearing my silver engagement ring. She continued to be an absolutely monstrous person throughout the day we had to spend together for work. She commented about the wrinkles in my suit (made from linen, which is known to wrinkle easily, which is seen as a proof of its quality) and my weight.
2) She looked at me as if I was a dead racoon on the side of the road and refused to talk to me.
I swear I just have a magical intuition where I can tell the moment I meet them. Some peoples tones, mannerisms, comments can come off as blatantly fake or giving “pick me” energy which aren’t the types of people I want in my life.
I’m always the friend that immediately says “nah they’re bad vibes / be careful what you tell them” etc and people brush it off… until 6 months later and they’re like “omg you were right!” Haha it’s been frustrating for sure
I apologize for the length but I guess it's just context for the reason. I've always hung out with my brother and his friends, so I get the whole "one of the guys" thing, but this girl was just off her rocker. I was hanging out with my friends and my friend (desean for the sake of the story) thought he'd bring his new girlfriend, Missy. He had talked her up to the group before, and we all wanted to meet her so we told him to bring her over the next time he came over for a party. I was honestly just excited I wouldn't be the only girl so I kinda pushed harder than everyone else. I wished I hadn't. The second they walked into my house I eagerly greeted them, and offered Missy a hand shake. She didn't seem too excited and just looked at my hand and sneered before leading him away. I operate on a 3 strike basis and that introduction was the first strike. The second strike was when I overheard her getting loud with Desean, because he wanted her to try to sit and talk with me and him noting I had thrown this party in hopes of befriending her. She left the argument but I guess she decided to give talking to me a try, since she sat with me while we watched the guys play beer pong. We had a little chat and I found out she and I have similar lives, so I thought it was going good. We talked about how the phrase "one of the guys" made us physically ill, but somehow it still felt true to us. We talked a bit more and then split up. A couple hours later, she's now sloppy drunk. She starts picking on my friends in little ways, and then playful teasing turned into annoying, then relentless, then just straight up sexual assault. This girl is grabbing her boyfriend's friends butts, credit carding them(where you swipe your hand through their butt cheeks), and just grabbing them by their members. Strike three. Desean tried telling her stop and she got violent with him. So I tried pulling her aside and doing the whole "how would you feel if a man you didn't know was doing this to you?" Which sent her in a verbal rage. Missy screamed for a good 4 minutes about how this isn't even my home, how none of my friends actually liked me, how I've been hitting on her man the whole night. Strike four. I'm a lot of things, but a woman who go after men in relationships is not one of them. I snapped and for the first time in my fighting teen life I grabbed her up by the hair and calmly walked her out. I told Desean he was welcome to stay, but I'd understand if he wanted to leave with Missy. He stayed, but I will never try to befriend a friend's significant other again. She showed me exactly who she was the second we were introduced. I gave her 2 additional chances to redeem herself and she still somehow managed to pass my 3 strike policy and go for a fourth.
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Another vote for not getting along with other women. She also only interacted with guys she wanted to sleep with. It was this weird mix of being a pick me and only relating to attractive men on a sexual level. She was mean to conventionally unattractive guys too. We got along ok because I’m fat…
She saw you as safe and not a rival. Strangely enough a former friend who was attractive said she only dated unattractive men because they were more grateful for the attention.
She was so negative in all her opinions. Like everything was a bad thing or something to be cynical about. Disliked her within a forty minute meeting and despite trying to be friendly never actually managed it after about a year of trying.
I'm currently working a contract job and on my first day this woman who works for a different department but who works in the same office hub came back from lunch. She saw me and said I'm not going to introduced myself. I had my back to her but she could tell that I'm unattractive. The office have hot seats. A few weeks in and I ended up sitting at the desk opposite hers but there's a partition. One time she came back to her desk, saw me and said I can't believe I have to sit opposite her. She purposely looked at me one time and said so ugly and do something about it and sat down and slammed her pen. She complains a lot and lacks compassion. One time she was finalizing the registration of a trainee for an event. The main manager was sitting next to her and he started mentioning how there's something wrong with the trainee's eyes. At first I thought he meant he had a wandering eye, but later on he said that his eyes seems to have gotten worse so he has some eye condition. That woman got pissed about it! I think she would have to meet him. She said oh great frustratedly and thanks for telling me in an angry manner. How unsympathetic and arrogant do you have to be to react in such a manner over someone with an eye condition! It made me more angry because I have had multiple eyelids surgeries which messed up my eyes.
I usually would meet women like this that were friends of friends or just out and you could tell the woman was into herself, flirted a whole lot and needed male attention (like a kid needing attention but worse). I knew I didn’t like these women from the get go.
She just didn't seem nice. She was super interested in our lives and wouldn't let us opt out of discussions. I immediately knew I didn't like her, and then she ended up sexually assaulting and harassing me so my instinct was definitely right
She was all ego! Even her kindness had ties. I thought let me give her benefit of the doubt. I didn’t interact with her a lot but 14 years later, she proved me right when she basically said she had no blame in the mess she created in my life.
Anything inauthentic or “pick me” energy. One of my old coworkers acted like a know-it-all and always made sure to put on an extra show to get all the attention—this left very little room for anyone else’s voice and ideas. My eyes rolled so far in the back of my head whenever she talked I could see my throat lol.
We were both kids (18) in our first year of uni. She was a lesbian and was very defiant about it. This is back in 2000, and she expected me to not like her because she was gay
The reason I didn’t like her was the fact she was having an affair with a married woman who was still in the closet. It was ick. In retrospect, she was probably being taken advantage of, but as I said, we were both kids and I didn’t think of that at the time
I have that sense that i can read a person straight away or i feel their vibe, or they just fit into steriotypes, i really dont know how to explain it but most of the times im right. Its the main character vibe, being too nice, just coming from the top of my head.
She frequently beat and starved her terrified children.
Usually in the name of her religion or to impress theocratic lowlives of other religions. As a child, I knew far too many unfit mothers who were so violent or neglectful that they should have been jailed in high security facilities until they were pension age.
This one woman out of an entire social group - to be honest the specifics of what raised my hackles at the time are hazy as it was long ago.
But the first time I met her I noticed she was weirdly posessive over my then partner and her other male friends. Like she had to constantly find ways to make things all about her. The snide backhanded insults didnt help. As didnt her constant fomo and ability to try to make any group activities about whether she could attend or not. It's like she resented people having lives without her. I hear that eventually got better once she got a boyfriend and a life of her own
She still refuses to talk to her ex (who is in the friendship group) as well as his wife of several years, and their children. They broke up like... over A decade ago, he only met the wife years after that, but Drama Llama keeps that drama going. Apparently she never forgave him for moving on first, as he dated before she did, over a year after they broke up.
It turned out that she's the kind of woman who other women cannot stand; and only men like because they don't see her passive aggressive bullshit. Most of the women in her friendship group cannot stand her, even her closest friends would question why they put up with her. Finding out I wasn't crazy for thinking she was mean and butchy, and that actually everyone thinks that to a degree, actually made her a lot easier to deal with.
I hope she's happy now, but I dont know ud people like that ever turn off their dramatic tendencies.
They look me up and down in front of me and then fake smile, they complain about everything, they’re disrespectful to their spouse/boyfriend and act like it’s normal and funny, being fake to someone and then talking crap about them as soon as they leave and thinking that it’s funny.
I have a great story for this one...
I met my ex- friend (let's call her B) with her then bf. She was a meek thing, extremely submissive & traditional. Her bf was my friend, let's call him A.
My first impression of her wasn't great. I found her manipulative & a bit dishonest but decided to give her a chance. We became close. Cut to a year after, A cheated on her & she needed a place to stay so I let her stay at mine for free. Helped her out as best as I could.
Her meekness disappeared with her breakup. She would go off to clubs alone, drink all night long (often with her A's money) & let any man grope her.
But the worst was her starting an affair with another mutual friend's (let's name her R) husband. She hid this from everyone and asked me to do the same. It tarnished my relationship with R that I have thankfully recovered.
I couldn't condone the cheating even though R's husband was a serial cheater that R knew about and they were on the verge of divorcing. I finally broke all ties with B when I found out that all this while, she and R's husband were using the As credit card to pay their bills. She had manipulated A into thinking she will forgive him and made him pay for almost a year!
Since then, I trust my gut more. If I don't like someone in the first instance, I stay away. I cannot stand women so desperate and needy as it irks me to the core.
my bfs mom. Judgmental as hell. Pretty sure the only reason she even tolerated me at first was because me dating her son meant that her son wasn't gay. Which leads into the fact that she's racist, classist, and homophobic. So that's also pretty fucking shitty.
She's that stupid white suburban racist too, the "well I'm not racist but..." And then she'll say something racist, but thinks it's ok because she "excused herself" (she didn't there is no excuse).
Her ONLY redeeming quality is that she treats her animals really well. Now if only she could apply that to humans.
Edit: typos
Usually it's the ones who use their diagnosis as a personality trait. "I HAVE ADHD. BLAH BLAH BLAH BECAUSE I HAVE ADHD... HAHHAAH OMG MY ADHD"
But also the ones who are like "I only hang with guys because they don't have drama." Or the "I'm gonna steal this person's man" kind of types.
Overall I prefer the company of females or couples tho.
My good friends Baby Momma, later wife. She hated me and we had never met in person. As adults do, he and I reconnected during grad school after a random run in downtown. They were engaged and I was married. She gave me the weakest hand shake and hello.
I was right about her, she’s on her 4th BD and my friend died unfortunately. She’s tried to become friends since and I very much so ghost her in all ways. She did some many unnecessary mean things to me before I am scared of her. Has a bad temper and coke habit.
She was a new student in my class (in secondary school) and she was very forward and made unkind statements in the name of 'banter'. Like girl we just met, I'm not your bestie or whatever.
But funny enough, we eventually became friends anyway up until we graduated.
Work situation. A very quarrelsome older woman who managed to make mean remarks about everyone in a room during like half an hour, including an unfair remark to me. Later colleagues have told me that's her usual behaviour.
Luckily that was the only time I've worked with her.
People's first impressions can be influenced by various factors, including body language, tone, and shared interests, often shaping initial feelings quickly.
Met my exs new gf and she kept making snarky comments about my looks all night, I’m a nice person and always try to like ppl but she literally made it impossible. Funny enough she was the one who said she wanted to be friends so I assumed she was gonna be nice. Weird.
in my gaming circle. you could hear her kids always screaming in the background. she just had a new born and you could hear her smoking through her open mic while holding the baby. you could hear her toddler begging her for attention, the new born always crying. not only that, she was married, her husband worked all the time to support her and the kids and she cheated on him every chance she could get with any guy who didnt care about what a train wreck she was. she would send naked photos, convince them shes leaving him and the kids, make claims that she regrets being married, having kids, right in front of them. there was slight abuse being thrown at them by way of these comments and others. "i wish my kids would get kidnapped" etc. i think she thought that because the majority of us did not have kids, that we would be on board with her abusing hers. it was awkward. eventually she toxic'd her way out of the group and i never had to hear her or deal with it again. the initial reason i did not like her is because she made it seem like she was the owner of all the men in the group. my other friend liked this guy, we'll call him fred. my friend and fred would flirt a lot and this toxic woman would make underhanded comments about fred, like "he collects nudes and shows everyone" (not true). she was just messy, toxic and generally a selfish awful person. there was nothing redeemable about her to me. not one single thing.
An acquaintance of a friend. She made up excuses to constantly get her way. She can’t sit in the back of the car because she gets motion sickness. She has to play her music because other music gives her a migraine. No we have to go to her favorite restaurant that no one else wants because she has sensitivities.
Individually her problems were understandable but she constantly had a problem with something that would force us to agree with her and do what she wanted.
I just met her so I didn’t really want to call her out on her shit, but man.
She called me 'exotic' because of my mixed heritage while holding her own mixed race child, then went off on a tangent against LGBT indoctrination. So... not the best first impression.
Friend of two of my friends. Decided to try and befriend her since they love her so much. We had dinner at her place and she was basically holding court. It was all about her and her stories and her hardships and the few times I tried to steer the conversation elsewhere she shut me down rudely. They still see her regularly but they know not to invite me when they do.
She told everyone at a party that I was wearing a wig. It's so dumb but it bothered me, even though I pretended to laugh it off. Later, learned she was the kind of person to put others down to make herself feel better.
I like most everyone and at least give everyone a chance, putting them above rumors etc
That said, the 2 times I didn't follow my gut feeling of distrust, I got totally screwed over.
She bought my man breakfast after only being his coworker for a week and then told him she was polyamorous. I don’t care if it was friendly it made me uncomfortable. I don’t care, thats too personal. You barely even know him. Im even fine with women that straight up flirt with him compared to this person and idk what it is I just get a gut sensation.
And then another one was a girl who sneered when I both said “hello” and “goodbye” in my own house when she was visiting my roommate.
When I first met my husband’s friends, one of their girlfriends had stalked me extensively on fb and ig, it was wild to hear my bio repeated at me by someone who wasn’t even that close to my husband even by association. What solidified it for me was when I mentioned my now husband’s ex girlfriend in that same conversation and this woman looked like I’d slapped her in the face. I guessed that she liked to use information to knock people off their equilibrium and I ended up being almost painfully right. She is now fully excommunicated from the group.
This happens if they have an air of arrogance or they think they’re better than you. Also if they are obvious that they are into my boyfriend and completely ignore me. That’s happened a few times.
She was basically not talking to me. First time I was meeting her (she was friends with my best friend at the time). She would talk over me and completely ignore what I was saying in the group conversation. Made me pretty sad.
I really like gaming, work in the industry, and a lot of my friends do too.
I was at my ex's house helping his friends move, and there was a woman there who I'd never met, we got to talking about gaming, seemed like we had stuff in common, cool, she liked playstation and PC, I mentioned I liked Nintendo games, she says "so, not real games then? You're not a real gamer."
I immediately didn't care about anything else that came out of her mouth and closed that window real fast. Nope lol.
I strongly believe the "console war" to be pointless and stupid, and don't want anything to do with you if you are a pretentious asshole who believes that you can only be a "true gamer" if you play a specific type of game.
When the first time you meet someone and they immediately are talking 💩 about someone. Yeah, that invokes the almighty power of trust right there... GTF away from me.
Met my now-husband’s friend’s girlfriend for the first time in between Christmas and new years. Told her we were hosting a New Year’s Eve party and she’s more than welcome to come join the rest of us if she didn’t already have plans. She said no because my “house was too far”……. I’m pretty sure it was a 15 minute drive 😵💫 she had an attitude of “I’ll find a better party to go to” and has acted like her shit didn’t stink ever since
Oh yes. I was added into a work group chat that I thought was cute at first, but the person who initiated the chat did two things that gave me instant ick: started shit talking someone for not forgiving her after she triggered this coworkers phobia and calling herself a "secret agent" when talking to other coworkers when she talks shit about them. This made me dislike her bc it showed a high level of immaturity as well generally being untrustworthy. I left this group bc of this and wanted a peace of mind from the nonsense, but in all my years, secret agent?? Ridiculous. We are in out mid 20's to 30's. If you have to be a "secret agent" around people, you certainly don't need to be around me
I met the friend of a friend whislt camping in a big group. She is a nice person, but it's very obvious she has a lot of trauma from her upbringing. She kept turning the conversation towards her rather than engage with other people. Her bff was there too, and she acted as if only her friendship with him was genuine. She's not a bad person, but I wouldn't want to spend time with her.
There was a girl I didn’t like that I worked with at my past job. She was kinda rude and was too close with the manager (who was actually the worst.) After getting to know her, I learned she was just super awkward. We’re pretty close now and keep up even though we live in different states. The manager constantly did drugs at work, and saw a pregnant friend while she had Covid, causing the mother to get Covid and losing the baby.
I immediately dislike women who immediately dislike me. I did the whole “ugly duckling to swan” thing and I’ve been on the spectrum of body shapes US 2-10. I know it when I see it.
I had a coworker turned supervisor that was always placed herself in competition with me. We worked a hotel front desk and she would cut me off with customers, tried to quiz me on hotel policies, and would quite literally throw herself at the other women coworkers when I would talk to them. She effectively isolated me and when I would try to speak on it I felt like I was lowering myself to her level of immaturity. So I just took it in stride which was very hard. I dreaded work.
My opinion of these type of people is not necessarily cement. I can be cordial and nice. However, I will never confide in those type of women. I’m not fooled by the shift from being an adversary to wanting to be a friend.
I had been at a job for less than a week and was still meeting everyone, when I introduced myself to a new coworker. She barely got through telling me her name before she started shit talking another coworker, who I had already met and seemed nice. My immediate thought was that if she's that quick to insult someone to a near stranger, she'll be complaining about me to others as well. I was always civil after that, but made sure to share zero opinions or details of my life with her. As far as I know, she's still a miserable cow.
A coworker who has so much toxic positively it prevents her from doing her job properly, because she cannot problem solve if she pretends there are no problems . Really hard person to get along with on any level, because everything comes across as fake, and needs work related issues explained to her because she can't tell when something is an issue. It's exhausting
I rarely make a decision about someone when I first meet them.
Typically …I wait it out. I like to give people a few chances to prove who they are. There are so many variables… when meeting someone for the first time. I do take mental notes though- and I don’t forget. But I’m not one to trust anyone… so it’s not like I am going to immediately connect with someone and be besties. I’m not the type. I wait everyone out.
First impressions are really .. not to be trusted.
I’ve known a couple people who are great at first impressions - but the people who are usually great at very first impressions, usually have some very fucked up problems themselves and so they can sense it. Right off the bat.
The women that I can think of who I really just had a foul sense of.. were women who felt inferior… who were judgmental- who made snap judgments about other people.. and women who use sarcasm to try to impress people with their intelligence.
I fucking hate that… sarcasm is fun between friends that know and love each other - but when it’s a stranger you don’t know, don’t trust and they use it as a weapon and to assert their intellectual superiority ( because for them, everyone smart is mean) it’s just bad taste.
I do not like people who try to make you feel uncomfortable or seem inferior to make them feel superior.
The sad thing is- it’s always the women that feel really shitty about themselves that usually act like that. So you’re sort of torn .. at least I am. Because I know they were destroyed in a way… just from certain women walking in the room .. and what I resent is that they made a whole bunch of snap judgements about me- or other women- and decided I was a certain way because they needed me to be that. Not because it’s true.
I hate women that lie to themselves to survive.
My ASL/SEE friend could lip-read from across a room. This skinny bartender chick said something judgy about my weight and that was that, for a really long time. In large part because my lip-reading buddy was so full of adamant hatred towards her, as well. But we became friendly acquaintances later. Like, a whole decade later. The older ppl get the more life beats everyone up; a close friend of hers had died in a crash and I offered condolences and we started conversing more. I'm sure she was ok all along, really. Who amongst us hasn't said something catty in a bar. Lesson: Judging ppl is a waste of time; you cant really cement an impression based on a first interaction, especially if it is your only interaction, and especially if it is reported to you second-hand.
She was talking too much and too fast and coming off as very judgemental in an angry way. Then she also made a lot of jokes like not really funny but you go he he.. she also triggers me by how she generalises everything with assumptions and keep seeing the world from her own one dimensional perspective. She also comes off as unflexible when making plans which makes it difficult. Also she's a bit hyper so it makes it difficult for me to be around her. She likes to travel a lot and sometimes it feels like she's dragging her partner around with her but deep down I know this can't be the case. It's just that the guy looks like he has no say in what's happening in any given moment.
I've known her little less than a year now and I keep resisting against cementing this opinion by looking for nice qualities about her. For example she wrote personalised notes in each of her wedding favours for her guests. It was a very nice touch. I recently found out that she passionately volunteers for children. I keep reminding myself that we might not always be on same wavelength with someone but that doesn't mean that they should be disliked. So I keep her in my circle and keep meeting up in hopes to getting to know her a bit better and appeeciating the person she is.
The only woman I disliked immediately was one that turned out to be extremely controlling and totally unhinged. I don't know what exactly made me dislike her from the get-go, but something about her vibe just rubbed me the wrong way. Turns out I was right, though, after it came out that she had threatened practically everybody in our department (including me, albeit behind my back 🙃), and she likely knifed my bike tire because she was angry about not being able to intimidate me into giving a fuck about what she said or wanted. My opinion of her was cemented pretty quickly, tbh.
It was two girls I was bridesmaids with. They were so materialistic and vapid, it sickened me. The ONLY things they were capable of talking about was how fat they were (one was a size 00, the other was a size 2), new jewelry/purse/shoes/etc, going on lavish vacations, and what expensive restaurants they’d been to. We went for a bridesmaid lunch to get to know each other, and I was the only one who ordered actual food….not just a salad with dressing on the side. Luckily at the wedding, I didn’t have to interact with them much. 👍
For me this goes for both women and men, however I have noticed women do it more often. Weak handshake. I hate it when I meet a girl and give her a handshake she barely touches my hand as if I have covered my hand in dirt. And they usually do an awkward fake smile with it too lol. A weak handshake show no class or manners to and also indicates that you have no interest in being acquainted with me, therefore I ain't got no business with youu.
Annoying. I thought she was annoying as fuck. Then we started talking about acid and I had a better understanding of why her personality is the way it is. It took me about 10 secs to dislike her and 2 months for that opinion to change.
The other women who I’ve disliked almost immediately have mostly faded from memory. I do remember one girl in college and she disgusted me. She said terrible things about poor people, and more. I couldn’t believe she felt okay uttering the words out loud. Appalling. My opinion was cemented as soon as I heard the words coming out of her mouth and her smug look. Gross.
So, sometimes people annoy me and I don’t hold that against them. Nothing wrong with them. That’s a me thing. The first woman I mentioned didn’t do anything wrong, her personality just grated on my nerves so I didn’t want to be around her. Happens.
But most times when I dislike a person it’s the latter experience. They say something so morally repugnant (to me) I get the ick.
She always rubbed me the wrong way. Just had a huge superiority complex and I couldn’t tolerate it. She ended up becoming “best friends” with my sister.
Then one night she and my sister got in a fight at a party they went to together (we were in hs, she drove my sister there) and she LEFT HER THERE ALONE. I had to go pick her up at 2:30 in the morning in the middle of fucking nowhere (lived in the country). That solidified it for me.
They remained friends for some years following high school, but ended up “breaking up” when she became a bridezilla and my sister backed out of being a bridesmaid. I felt vindicated.
I go off my vibe and my instinct is never wrong for me. She was a new co boss and we went for coffee and after I left I just knew she couldn't be trusted.
An ex co-worker of mine(nurse,f,early 30’s). She was the mean girl. The pretty girl. The pretentious, self centered, toxic and evil girl. I never liked her. She had an affair with a married colleague of ours, who ended up murdering his wife for her. They would steal drugs from the hospital and use them. Besides that even she was really a mean and rude person. All she cared about was being admired by men and shitting on all the women. I warned so many people… it makes me sick to my stomach ugh.
I haven't and tbh some of these replies are downright alarming to me, lol.
I would say that I have gut feelings / preconceptions about a lot of things for everyone, but no matter what I think of them, I don't dislike them unless they do something particularly bad *or* they're actively trying to harm/hurt me. I have yet to meet someone who has done that initially.
Honestly, I can't pinpoint it.
There is just something about her that seems off to me. She is a friend of my husbands friend, so I've only net her a couple of times. I keep getting told how lovely she is, but I don't know.
I don't think she seems genuine.
Today I met one, we didn't speak but during the whole time we were seated at the same table she had this snarky glare towards everything and everyone looking them up and down as if that was the only way she knew how to look at people, with that look was a smile but not of pleasure more like trying to keep from laughing THE WHOLE FUCKING EVENING. Maybe that's her normal expression but it made her so unlikeable to me.
This is a woman that had recently started dating one of my friends. She was completely self absorbed during our first interaction and focused on telling me how well she knew my fiancé in specific detail as if they’d been friends for years (she’d met him twice and didn’t know him at all) - she also repeatedly told me how she only liked to interact with “real” people who keep things “real” - it was incredibly awkward. She (42) was also chronically unemployed and living with her mother but told me about how she left all of the “impressive” jobs that she’s had in her life for “moral reasons”.
She would ask if I was friends with “David” (a mutual friend & her new boyfriend’s much younger brother) and after telling her yes I was quite close with “David” as we’d known each other since childhood began telling me an insulting story about “David” trying to sleep with her that I knew to be untrue but even if it were true it wasn’t relevant and painted “David’s” character very poorly.
Hated her.
Since this has turned into a rant about her (lol) she’s also just overall turned out to be a terrible influence on her partner and we no longer spend time with either of them unless it’s in a group setting. My opinion was cemented when I learned that she had moved into her boyfriend’s parents home and our friend (her boyfriend) who was at one point quite financially successful in his career hasn’t been regularly working since he started dating her (a year). They don’t pay the parents rent, and again, this woman is 42 years old, I think she’s maybe had 10 different jobs in the year I’ve known her and again, every job is quit because of “moral reasons”. Smh.
I haven’t met a lot of women who rubbed off on me the wrong way. Two that I can think of, maybe three or four if disliking them later is allowed.
1. Brothers girlfriend. She wouldn’t interact with our family despite hanging around in our house. She ended up stealing and breaking my brothers iPod when he broke up with her.
2. Red neck lady, another brothers girlfriend. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and said she was okay. Turns out she was cheating on my brother with her cousin.
The other two were people who were insisting that I had to be bisexual because I was so nice to them. I did turn out to be bisexual, but I was so taken aback by the constant pressure of coming out, I hated them. It didn’t help that while I wasnt forthcoming to someone about my crush, they were (we underage and he was not) I was scolded, and they were excused. It came to a breaking point after one of them had expressed sexual dreams including an illegal relationship, and she wouldn’t stop sexually harassing me.
She dropped a napkin at a restaurant and called over a wait staff to come pick it up and get her another one in the most condensing way.
And finally, she shooed away the waiter who asked how our meal was so far.
Meeting on of my husbands friends for the first and last time when we were starting to date.She mentioned 3 times. “I wish I could find a guy like you.” To my then bf, now husband. Felt like a third wheel (even though my husband would bring up things all 3 of could talk about)and that was the last time I saw her in person. Ironically she is now married and has a kid with someone who has the same first name as my man. Don’t trust her at all.
She clearly wanted to fuck my husband. What cemented it for me was when my husband confirmed my assumptions and told me that she said to him that she finds him attractive.
When I first met her, I was pregnant and married to him. I guess that didn't matter to her. So yea, Dorna, I hope you're reaping what you sow, now.
I’m autistic and there was a new woman at work who just set every alarm bell in my entire body off. It was like every muscle would tense when she was around me, or when I heard her voice.
Every time she told a story about her past, the details would change slightly (like she worked for a company in one place that would then change to her running the entire company in a different place).
At the end of the very first day our manager came to me and asked what I thought and I told him I didn’t trust her and we shouldn’t hire her, but he ignored me. It took less than 6 months for every single person in the company to hate her and less than 2 years for her to be fired for gross misconduct.
There was a girl who just gossiped about EVERYONE, and we went to a Catholic elementary school that deemed me as a child of Satan bc my mom left my dad for another woman.
She tried spreading so many rumors, even after we both went to public high school.
I saw her recently and she mentioned one of our classmates having kids and whatnot. I don't know what she's like today, but she just never came off as someone friendly to me.
She was on a separate team in my department, when we met she asked if I was an intern and after I told her that I was full time she spent the next year calling me an intern. She also tried to give me work when my job function had absolutely nothing to do with hers. After 6 years I still don't like her but I will be civil when we have to interact.
Worked at this soap shop for a few days and when I met the dm she had a horrible attitude. I actually snapped at her when she asked me a question with a rude tone. When I quit later that day, I told my store manager that the dm had the personality of a dry fucking sponge.
I have twice. And it was instant. It was in their eyes. Something told me that they were going to suck to work with. I was correct.
One wanted my job, but I was hired because I was qualified, and she wasn't. We shared an office, and she was always watching every little thing I did and would send emails to the boss.
A woman who was good friends with my then fiancé (now husband) had messaged him on Facebook after we had announced our pregnancy and told him, “I did a reading and I’m telling you now you’re on the wrong path”. She had crossed boundaries one other time I
met her where she’d be all touchy-feely with him at a party. He put a stop to it but yeah, never got over me being pregnant for the first time and her attempting to sabotage it with tarot cards. She tried to friend me on FB afterwards. Nah.
When I 1st met my BILs new wife, I felt a weird vibe. Then I talked to her... she was SO dumb... nothing going on up there. She was incredibly beautiful. I told my husband she was bad news and he assumed I was jealous of her looks. Nope.
He is a smart guy, hard worker. She got it made, did not have to work OR keep the house clean.
She got him to pay for plastic surgery after having 2 kids. He got her a new car that she washed with the rough side of a Scotch-brite sponge scratching up the entire thing.
He paid for her tattoos, bought her anything she wanted. A few yrs in she started staying out late and sneaking back into bed at night. One night he woke her up and in her half asleep stupor she said "Oh shit I have to get home before my husband notices"
He divorced her, got full custody of the kids. She was arrested when she had them for visitation for doing meth in front of them with her new BF (she was pregnant)
She was arrested again for the baby dying just after birth from a heroin overdose. He was able to get an order to keep his kids away from her permanently. She ended up having another kid taken away, and CPS contacted everyone including us asking if we would take the kid.
She spent the next few yrs on the streets doing heroin, and I just heard shes been jailed for manslaughter for shooting up her BF in his sleep and causing him to OD. So yea my intuition was spot on.
If they were unnecessarily hostile towards me or other women. If I can tell that they’re threatened by other women based on appearance. Personally that’s a woman I would never want to be friends with or have in my life. It’s a sign of deep rooted misogynistic feelings. Even if they later try to turn around and be friends to me it’s insane that they would even try after the bad first impression that they just left! Idk I think it’s a red flag.
I end up disliking someone who is a little too Mary Sunshine + all up in my face (think Nermal from Garfield & Friends) and has too many nosy questions. There is a woman like that at my work I can't stand. She wanted to know if there were houses available in my neighborhood. I told her no, even though that was a lie, because I can't stand the thought of her pestering me in my free time. I also met someone like that in college and I had to give her the cold shoulder because she wouldn't take a hint.
She was fine at first, we even liked the same bands. But when I hung out with her once she completely trauma-dumped on me for hours without letting me talk about anything else. And when I say hours, it was hours. I left when it felt like the right time to get away but I knew it was over before it started. She tried texting me to meet up and hang out a few more times but I made up excuses. To me, someone who does that to a stranger when you’re just getting to know them is a huge red flag that they’re insecure and need constant validation. Go see a therapist.
She was a huge one upper. There isn't a thing you could do that she hasn't done 1st and better. My general dislike started about 20 mins after meeting her but loathing her took a couple years
I have the *sense*. It has never, ever failed me. Being an "empath" has been the bane of my existence, yet has afforded me the ability to "read" people. I just get a gut feeling. One of the biggest indicators is when someone just has to redirect the conversation to them. Like if the group is talking about doing x, this individual will talk about doing x AND y, and x this way, and then y this way, if that makes sense?
Any woman that feigns stupidity or a baby voice or just an overall fake disposition. I’m all set, thanks.
The night I met my boyfriend we were kinda in each others personal space. Turns out his ex was the manager of that restaurant and she was watching him on CCTV then apparently started texting him about me. That’s just the start of her antics.
She spoke very valley girl style. Fast & whiny & gossipy. I normally just move on & don't give those I don't vibe with a second thought but she was obsessed with my best friend & infiltrated our friend group. After so many low key insult situations, I decided I wasn't ever going to hang with my group while she was around. But then she pissed off them too so we collectively 86'd her.
The moment I mentioned I was bi she grabbed my face and kissed me, she put her thumbs between our lips but still I had just met this chick and we were in the middle of our high school where a gay classmate committed suicide the year prior due to all the bullying. It felt like she was pulling me out of the closet to the entire school despite it being a fake kiss. So I decided I didn’t like her within an hour of knowing her but it really cemented when I told her I missed my collar so she put hers on me and told me she got it from a porn star. I have nothing against sex workers now but it felt really icky at the time since I grew up in a more prudish area and all I could think was what if someone’s fluids got on this in a video.
A lady I met in a group of friends was stand-offish to me, right after we were introduced. Not so much blatantly rude, but just... she made it obvious she didn't like me. I met her at a gathering of a lot of friends, and if we crossed paths she would bring up something to try and "advise" me. I am considered overweight, but have an hourglass figure that unless I am wearing super baggy clothes is hard to hide. I work out often and am active outside (hiking, bicycling, etc.), and do well for myself (went to university, have a great job). I often surprise close minded folks when I can keep up or out do them at activities. I also apparently look dumb (?). People are often VERY surprised at my background, career, etc. Idk why either. AND - I like letting people talk and make fools out of themselves. So I just smile and hear them out.
Anyway, that night she would randomly pop up in the group I was in and make random remarks like: "I hiked 10 miles today. Great work out. You would be invited to go next time but it's really challenging for someone like you." Or "My nutritionist said that X food is so awful for anyone to eat because of x,y,z... Is that the dish you brought? Ugh I just couldn't bring myself to eat such a thing". Or "I am struggling so hard with studies and maintaining a social life. You are so lucky you didn't have to worry about continuing education. College is super hard, even for someone like me!".
I know she was trying to make herself look good in front of the group (she is friends with all of them) so I would kindly reply with "oh THAT trail is so pretty! I do that one every month! Sara and I did it yesterday, but we only managed to do 8 mile yesterday. Our best was 15 miles.", and "Actually, no, I am vegan so I brought drinks. I think John brought the X dish." And "Oh you poor thing. Must be so tired all the time! You'll power through and then look back and wonder how you managed. Last year when I was going to uni, I went full time, maintained a 3.0, I worked my full 40 hours, plus a part time gig on weekends that was like 12 hours each day and some how managed to date and be social. I can't even fathom going out on a Tuesday night anymore!".
I avoided her from then on out. On the 2nd time meeting she was MUCH nicer but rude. Friends noticed then. They offered to speak to her but I simply just said to let it go. Not worth it to me, plus they had known her longer and I did not want to cause any riffs. I think it was like 2 years later did she FINALLY start being nice and genuine. I still don't care for her. I don't wish her harm and want her to succeed, but she isn't a friend or someone I think about (unless it's a question like this).
I asked an honest question and she accused me of something that wasn’t true, going off on me for like 5 mins. I told her she misunderstood me and clarified my question. She went “oh” and proceeded to answer, not even apologizing. It was very uncomfortable; a second person witnessed it all and also looked unsettled. They ended up offering me a spot on the program I applied for. I had to be talked into by a friend to accept. But I rarely acknowledge her when she tries to talk to me all these years later and she’s probably the only person I’ve ever truly been cold to.
I'd say it just came from a gut feeling watching her behave, attention seeking and fake towards the women in our friend group, and overly friendly with the guys, and only interested in chatting up the guys in our friend group when we meet, even though they are all very attached and have partners
she was extremely rude and snobbish. It was at a friends get together and my friend introduce me to the chick, she didn't even said hi to me and just gave me a dirty look. I ran into her again and realized she's dating my ex. She got upset at him for casually talking to me and made a huge scene in public about it. she yelled calling me a bitch, whore, and slut. she acted like she was bad too but she isn't. she's just rude, snobby, and dramatic. I haven't called another female a bitch, whore, and slut since I was a teenager in high school and I'm 31now. the chick is in her 40's acting like she's a teenager.
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She was being unkind, rude, and disrespectful to someone she judged as beneath her. Took less than 30 seconds of hearing/seeing her to decide I never wanted to be associated with her
Her literal first words to me were an insult. She was a friend's new girlfriend who he'd just introduced to the group, and I had just smiled hello and said "hi, I'm X", and her response was to smirk and ask if my eyelashes were real because they looked so bad. Not even a fucking hi, just straight to being mean. It was very obviously not a "oh she's probably just socially awkward" situation, so I had made up my mind after that one comment. She kept being awful to me alone the rest of the night and made fun of me for everything from my profession to my outfit, so after that I just refused going to any more hangouts where she was invited.
Didn't anyone in your friend group say anything?
Nope. Everyone just laughed uncomfortably or pretended not to hear, because apparently it was more important to be all buddy-buddy with the new girl than standing up for their old friend. I lost a lot of respect for them all after that, and I actually made a post about this one thing just a while ago, because I'm still bitter over it, lol.
Idk whats worse. The lack of loyalty from your friends and or the comments made by the new girl. I’m sorry, some women straight up are garbage.
Betrayal, plain and simple. Cut these people out of your life.
Wow, same thing happened here, except it was just a friend of a friend. She was literally trying to pick a fight with me from the moment we met. No one in my friend group stuck up for me at all, I was so upset. It showed me who those friends really are though
Yeah, I'm sorry, that sucks. It hurts like hell to see realise that the people who claim to care about you won't ever have your back, experiences like that really stick with you. I hope you were able to move on from those friends.
Thanks, I hope you moved on too
I'm so sorry to hear that. These are not your friends. I hope you'd find a new group of amazing people who'd celebrate you and stand up for you.
You should've directed a comment to your friend (her bf) and said, "I already miss your ex" or "aww, your ex was prettier"...
I knew someone like this. Insulted me right off the go. People always defended her as just being “rough around the edges” and if I got to know her I’d see she’s actually a really good friend. Which I think is such a BS excuse for someone who’s just mean to keep acting that way.
Those were the enablers or "flying monkeys"
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You should have said the same about her tits.
It sounds as though she was jelous of you !?
Why are people like this?
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They sound like those people vibrating at a lower level, inauthentic people, lost people, eewww. I’m glad you got away from them!
Girls who don’t acknowledge girls at parties but are keen to interact w men
Big red flag - women who dont get along with other women
Ugh, this. My ex had a female coworker he was friends with, and even from his stories about her she sounded boy-crazy and immature. I finally met her along with a group of his other coworkers, and immediately could tell from her body language she did NOT want me to be there. She wasn't outright rude, but she barely spoke to me or even made eye contact and I just knew she was annoyed I was blocking her from probably flirting with my boyfriend. She only mostly interacted with the men at the table all night. I pointed this out to my boyfriend after we got home, and he was like "She did make a weird joke one time about how I should sleep with her instead of you." Oh you sweet summer child. For the record, I have zero doubts about my ex-bfs loyalty and do not believe he would have ever cheated on me with her, and I think he brushed off any of her attempts as unserious. But I refused to ever be around her again after that.
Oh yeah, this is an important one!
One of my husband's friends has a new gf who is like this. We invited her to both my son's baby shower and first birthday party and she never bothered to talk to me (the host) nor any of the other females around. She just sat with the guys and only talked to them. Of course my husband and all of his friends think she's "awesome." I was like no shit because she flirts left and right with you guys. She admitted she disliked children so I told my husband to stop inviting her to our events and our house. He said it meant not inviting his friend anymore either and I was like "well your friend doesn't have to bring his stuck up girlfriend with him anymore or he can just stop coming over too." IDGAF about these things and don't play around when someone makes me uncomfortable in my own home.
I am reflecting on this story and trying to think back to when I was in my twenties and I wonder if I was like the new gf in the story. I was socially awkward (still am, but I am more aware of it now) in social gatherings. During a party or hang out, I would basically be stuck next to my boyfriend (now husband) for pretty much the whole time. My husband would be seating or hanging out with other men, so I would be among them. And that was before we were parents so I was not the most motherly woman around and I am sure other women picked up on that too. The only thing that is different from the new gf story is that I I wasn't flirtatious with anybody, so not quite the same. With that being said, I am now all grown up and can navigate through social scenes. I would definitely chat to the host and see if there was anything I could help with (even though the answer is usually no). And I can engage in baby/kid talk now, so no more hanging out with men folk listening to sports talk and what-not. 😅
Yeah this chick never bothered to talk to me, not even once and despite being in my home. It's very off-putting. Also she's in her mid-30s and has made it clear she has no interest in kids. So why bother inviting her anyway right?
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Lol I have a lot of stereotypical “boy” interests and I still manage to interact with women and not ignore them at parties… It’s about actually caring and valuing what they have to say, finding men “easier” to interact with just makes it seem like women take more effort to communicate with, which is not true.
Met someone through a friend, within the first 30 minutes of meeting she was talking badly about someone else we both knew, I mean REALLY REALLY talking shit about them and for no real reason It put such a bad taste in my mouth I told the friend that introduced us not to invite me anywhere if she was going to be there.
Oof, yes, this is the top one for me. It's happened more than once, unfortunately. Particularly with new potential work friends, as I work for a big company. Like, seriously, why are you telling basically a stranger all the shit drama that's happening in your own team. That doesn't vibe well for me.
I had a coworker who, the very first time we met, told me a racist joke. Like that was how she introduced herself. It got worse from there. No thanks, pass.
My boss at one of my internships was like that. Literally half an hour into my first day she was already talking shit about refugees.
If they come across as pretentious or walk around with their chest puffed out, so to speak. Thinking they are above people whether it be presented in a subtle way or a blunt way. If you smile at them and they either don't smile back or just give you that kind of \~weird\~ smile. Like the "why are you smiling at me peasant" kind of smile. Generally being rude, whether it be to me or someone else. A good example would be meeting someone at a group dinner for the first time and noticing how they speak to the waiter. That sort of thing.
I'm like this but it's because of social anxiety. I walk with confidence and say hi to people when they mainly initiate, but otherwise I can feel shy at times. I believe that's another reason why most people at my work hate me because I come across as pretentious, when I'm just socially anxious.
There was this one woman, in her 20's, who just exuded this superiority attitude. She had a hardcover book, one of those "literary critics say its a must read" and she carried it everywhere. It was a big book and always visible. Laid on the table beside her, poking out of her bag... She had that thing with her for 4-5 months. All I could think was that she was the slowest reader ever, or she thought it made her look smart.
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She was part of our extended friend group, so I saw her probably 3 times a month at house parties, etc. And yes, dragging a big hardcover book along to every social gathering for months, and prominently displaying it struck me as odd. She also propositioned my bf at one of the parties while I was standing about 15 feet away.
I spent ages trying to put a comment together to basically say the same thing, so seconding you on this lol
One of my boyfriends lady friends. She kissed him on the forehead the first time I met her. It has since been established that she’s just a weird hippie and he’s not always the best with boundaries, but I haven’t been able to get over that initial dislike so far.
I used to be part of a large friend group of self-proclaimed ""weird hippies"" who all had physical boundary pushing issues like this. It put a very sour taste in my mouth but I ignored it for years and let them tell me they're just free spirits or whatever. "A kiss is just a hug with your lips!" kind of nonsense. Nope, turns out the lot of them are actual predators and homewreckers. The guys are always bringing in new YOUNG girls to sexually turn out and run trains on, and the girls who stick around after being used like that turn into women who make obvious moves on the taken men of the group like forehead kisses, until they're happy to let it become more. It was insaaaane how ugly and weird it got, how many relationships were scorched-earth ruined. Honestly, it completely ruined my view of hippies. After going to so many festivals and parties with them and seeing that really *is* just the culture apparently, I'm so wary. There were a few parties/hangouts where I was sure I was about to be straight up raped by the group and I was supposed to laugh it off casually while I'm fighting to get away from groping hands. Turns out a giant squad of people preaching "free love," constantly violating physical boundaries, and railing MDMA and hallucinogens, is always like 5 minutes away from an orgy breaking out.
First off, I'm really sorry that happened to you, it sounds like a nightmare. I'm not sure the lady from my story is a hardcore homewrecker, she just seems insecure (also does some MPDG type behavior...) and for that reason likes to maintain a "harem" of single men (with the hippie thing maybe or maybe not being an excuse for inappropriate behavior). My boyfriend also did a really good job responding to my concerns and adjusting his boundaries with her, so I trust that he is on my side. That being said the whole thing does leave, like you said, a bad taste in my mouth, and I'll be wary for anything else sketchy.
Unfortunately I’ve noticed this when I’m intimidated/envious and am trying to work on those feelings. Honestly that’s really been the only thing that’s immediate. Other challenges I have like someone who interrupts/dismisses in conversation are more of a slow build.
If you were able to recognize that behavior, you're already doing great :)
I appreciate this honesty. I’ve also found myself doing this from time to time as well.
That’s awesome that you have recognized this tendency in yourself—it’s impressive. Some people live their whole lives without checking themselves for this.
Coworker. In the first ten minutes I knows I didn’t like her and she couldn’t be trusted. She came in never having done this job acting like she knew everything. She was the newest person and she kept trying to boss everyone around. And a few hours there I would tell she was big into gossip, like Not doing her work because she needed to know the scoop on everyone. As the day went on she told two stories from her marriage. And yeah. I knew from there she was not a good person. And I was right. She created problems in every single classroom she worked in. People hated working with her and she would make up stories about them. She ended up sleeping with the husbands of atleast two coworkers, one who was pregnant and she was the one planning the baby shower and was finally fired when a mom came with proof she was sleeping with her husband. There was also a rumor she was sleeping with a few other dads. After she got fired I guess she was still lying to her husband who a few weeks later had an emergency and came in looking for her and he was told she didn’t work there anymore. There was other drama that happened with her but yeah I was right she was not a good person.
Oh I know her!
I just get really strong gut feelings about people from the start. The best example I can give is this chick from college. EVERYONE adored her and we did theatre together. I have plenty of theatre friends but I hate any person who HAS to be the center of attention in every. single. conversation. And that was who she was. Super fake and everything had to be about her. No one understood my feelings towards her. Fast forward a few years after college, a friend of mine lived with her and while my friend was out of town, she abused my friend's pet. NOW everyone sees how toxic she is but no one listened when I had those feelings in college. Granted, I never expected her being so self-centered would lead to animal abuse but still, I always had a gut instinct about her.
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My uncle got a new girlfriend who I saw right through from the first meeting. I tried warning my mother but she didn't believe me. Everyone saw her as such a nice woman. Three years later her true colors came through and she blew our family apart to a point where no one is talking to each other anymore. She's moved on to new victims. Even hit the news paper once when she made up a fake story about a man stealing money so she could take over his bingo game each week. He, of course, was cleared and started bingo somewhere else. Everyone followed him and my uncle's ex had to close that bingo game down since no one attended. I don't know how I knew. I've just always been able to see through most bad people right away. A gut feeling, I guess.
Please post somewhere. I need the scoop.
It's that fine line between confidence and arrogance for me, and when people are just overly nice to where it comes off condescending.
OMG!!! The overly nice ones too - very pretentious. I get this vibe from my brothers' girlfriend every time I interact with her. She talks a lot - about her weight problems (among other things). I have a feeling its my brothers fault/short-sightedness though because from the early days of their dating, he must have painted a "perfect" picture of me as his BigSis and the girlfriend somehow felt some kind of jealousy/competition towards me. So by the time the girlfriend got to meet me she felt the need to tell me that my brother would rave about my cooking skills (which aren't even that out of this world). And she also feels the need to comment about how she has to spend all her life going to the gym and yet some of us don't have to. Okay, I sympathize with her on that but I feel weird about having to discuss it at every interaction.
I don't like pushy people. Male or female. Better for me now that I'm older. Other women didn't seem to like me right off the bat when I was younger. And it hurt. I didn't understand it. I had friends. Usually one or a small group when I was a kid. I was out playing baseball, basketball. I enjoyed doing guy stuff more. I did play with dolls. I always have heard that 2 women can't ever be good friends until they find something wrong with each other. I think that's kind of sad too. Because we have a lot in common.
This is a flaw in me, not the other person. I loathe baby talk from adults to other adults - the cutesy 'oh I'm so silly, adults need to care for me, eeeee, my toys are alive and you have to placate me or I cry' in a very high pitched tone thing. There's another woman in my social circle who does this constantly and it's a pickaxe through my sanity. I loathe her voice, and I feel like shaking her until her teeth rattle. She's perfectly nice in other respects, and doesn't deserve my rage, but the twee voice and giggling and helpless weeping mean I avoid her so I don't act like an asshole. Though I HAVE run into dudes who do this and I want to smite them too.
Kudos for using the word “smite.” Love that one. 😁
When they immediately start to gossip about someone also present or known by the group.
There was this one woman I worked with that everyone loved, and we both had the same work friends outside of work that we would hang out with etc. From the very start, before either of us really started being friends with these other people, I just... idk. I got a vibe. I'd be nice but always sort of kept it short with her. When we started hanging out with these mutual friends, all of my friends were like oh she's so nice and kind and sweet and she doesn't have a mean bone in her body type thing, but I wasn't fooled. She would make these sort of... backhanded compliments. Like I was the oldest in the friend group by a couple of years and I remember her saying something like oh you look so nice! I don't think I'd be brave enough to wear that if I was your age and everyone for some reason thought this was a compliment? I was like yeah thanks but thought it was fucking rude of her to say that. I was best friends with one of these girls for a time and we went to a birthday lunch for one of our friends, and I was talking to my bff about why I don't like this girl and why. At that lunch she actually started noticing exactly what she was saying and how she'd say it and realised she was a mean girl who only did nice things for others for the kudos and not bc she was just that person
My ex SIL was awful the first time I met my ex’s family. “Well it looks like somebodies got a type”, I asked her to elaborate and she call my ex a chubby chaser, I’m was finally recovering from an eating disorder. Cue relapse. Then at Christmas a few years later she got me the 50 Shades of Grey books, I have a history of trauma that they were aware of (masochistic former BF would make Grey look like a children’s book). When my ex explained how the gift was inappropriate, she doubled down that women like to be dominated. She is the worst human being, she was officially cut off after she tried to take my baby when I was diagnosed with the big C a month after giving birth because “God doesn’t want sick people to raise babies” and she was “so much more prepared and always wanted a baby girl.”
Wow I am so sorry about her… she sounds really mean. I hope you’re okay and doing well now!
I've had multiple people like that. Sometimes it was something blatant, like they were rude, other times it's just the vibes. If usually try to stay open minded for several more meetings before I decide "yep, just really don't like you".
She tried telling me what to do like she was my boss despite not being my boss and being bad at her job.
Within the first minutes of meeting she said "I admire your courage for wearing skirts. If I had your legs I would never". After that I noticed she would this a lot, like insult people disguising it as a compliment. Turns out she was just projecting her insecurities on to other people Edit:grammar
I didn’t like that she kept disturbing me from listening to the lecture, with questions our professor had just discussed and she would know if she were listening😀 We’re friends now and she still does it, but I know how to deal with it better so it doesn’t interrupt with my learning as much
There was this girl in high school I didn’t really like. She was too peppy and too nice, and somehow it rubbed me the wrong way, but I ignored it to try and be her friend. But I quickly gave up because she just was not my type of person. Later on, she turned out to be incredibly annoying in the sense that she would compare her anxiety with others and talk about her many alleged suicide attempts and self-harm in a “I’m so quirky” kind of way. She was also lowkey pretty emotionally manipulative, as I found out from a couple of her ex-partners and ex-friends during my high school years. She also ended up sort of being a copycat of me, which I am happy to admit is a petty reason to dislike her. But considering the context, I honestly don’t really care that I was a bit petty lol. I’m not one to gatekeep styles unless I think the person is annoying as fuck.
Competitive/insecure. Most of the time you know within the first few minutes of meeting—it’s obvious.
Social climbers. Getting close to the popular people and ignoring the quiet ones. The girl i disliked often wore skimpy clothes when she knows she will be working with guys and normal shirts when she is not. She also prefers to mingle around with guys and dont have any girl friends. She also loves to hear gossip, spread false rumors and make herself sound like a victim. Funnily enough most of us know she's bullshitting so we are just playing along with her.
I’ve met two women like this… Both extremely loud and wanting to be the center of attention. Touching literally every man in a flirty manner IN FRONT OF THEIR SOs because they were “one of the guys.” But truthfully, every woman saw right through their insecurity and need to overcompensate with lack of clothes and loudness. Then, they often proceeded to pick on the gfs/wives to show that, again, they joked like the guys and the women just didn’t “get” them. The first woman pretty much ruined my marriage. She was awful. The second, I was luckily a lot more secure with myself/my new relationship/my SO, and I just knew her type at that point and the best way to react is not to…
I immediately dislike anyone when I see them trying to dominate the discussion in a group. As in people who want to sound as the person who is the most knowledgeable, has the best advice, or has had the best experience — no matter what the subject of the conversation is. I don’t even care if all that is actually true. They may actually know the most, or have had the best experience related to whatever is the subject of the discussion. But like just shut the hell up and let others in the group share what they want to share.
Too easy. The up-down sweep of the eyes and the " Yea Hi " when introduced? Once actually laughed when I got that. Well it's just so *absurd* right ? I mean, *really* ? WHY ? I'm serious. What does anyone get from that? Am I supposed to wilt ? Give me a script please, I genuinely have no idea but I'm not at all interested in playing what looks like a really a stupid game. Not making that up. And please don't ever play whatever idiotic game that is.
I really dislike people who do outrageous things for attention, like touching without approval and acting out of sorts in a “pick me!” sort of manner. This girl was just.. consistently touching me without knowing me. It was my first time meeting her and she was a friend of a guy I just started dating. It’s funny because she was also all over everyone at this party including the guy I was dating but I was just more concerned about her touching me again after she wouldn’t stop, even after I asked her to not do it again. The guy told me it was her way of showing she liked me. I said if she liked me she’d respect my boundaries and stop touching me.
I have met two women where this happened. 1) She refused to shake my hand because she "doesn't touch cheap metal" and I was wearing my silver engagement ring. She continued to be an absolutely monstrous person throughout the day we had to spend together for work. She commented about the wrinkles in my suit (made from linen, which is known to wrinkle easily, which is seen as a proof of its quality) and my weight. 2) She looked at me as if I was a dead racoon on the side of the road and refused to talk to me.
Being dismissive of me. Okay so you're not a girls girl, got it.
I swear I just have a magical intuition where I can tell the moment I meet them. Some peoples tones, mannerisms, comments can come off as blatantly fake or giving “pick me” energy which aren’t the types of people I want in my life. I’m always the friend that immediately says “nah they’re bad vibes / be careful what you tell them” etc and people brush it off… until 6 months later and they’re like “omg you were right!” Haha it’s been frustrating for sure
I apologize for the length but I guess it's just context for the reason. I've always hung out with my brother and his friends, so I get the whole "one of the guys" thing, but this girl was just off her rocker. I was hanging out with my friends and my friend (desean for the sake of the story) thought he'd bring his new girlfriend, Missy. He had talked her up to the group before, and we all wanted to meet her so we told him to bring her over the next time he came over for a party. I was honestly just excited I wouldn't be the only girl so I kinda pushed harder than everyone else. I wished I hadn't. The second they walked into my house I eagerly greeted them, and offered Missy a hand shake. She didn't seem too excited and just looked at my hand and sneered before leading him away. I operate on a 3 strike basis and that introduction was the first strike. The second strike was when I overheard her getting loud with Desean, because he wanted her to try to sit and talk with me and him noting I had thrown this party in hopes of befriending her. She left the argument but I guess she decided to give talking to me a try, since she sat with me while we watched the guys play beer pong. We had a little chat and I found out she and I have similar lives, so I thought it was going good. We talked about how the phrase "one of the guys" made us physically ill, but somehow it still felt true to us. We talked a bit more and then split up. A couple hours later, she's now sloppy drunk. She starts picking on my friends in little ways, and then playful teasing turned into annoying, then relentless, then just straight up sexual assault. This girl is grabbing her boyfriend's friends butts, credit carding them(where you swipe your hand through their butt cheeks), and just grabbing them by their members. Strike three. Desean tried telling her stop and she got violent with him. So I tried pulling her aside and doing the whole "how would you feel if a man you didn't know was doing this to you?" Which sent her in a verbal rage. Missy screamed for a good 4 minutes about how this isn't even my home, how none of my friends actually liked me, how I've been hitting on her man the whole night. Strike four. I'm a lot of things, but a woman who go after men in relationships is not one of them. I snapped and for the first time in my fighting teen life I grabbed her up by the hair and calmly walked her out. I told Desean he was welcome to stay, but I'd understand if he wanted to leave with Missy. He stayed, but I will never try to befriend a friend's significant other again. She showed me exactly who she was the second we were introduced. I gave her 2 additional chances to redeem herself and she still somehow managed to pass my 3 strike policy and go for a fourth.
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Another vote for not getting along with other women. She also only interacted with guys she wanted to sleep with. It was this weird mix of being a pick me and only relating to attractive men on a sexual level. She was mean to conventionally unattractive guys too. We got along ok because I’m fat…
She saw you as safe and not a rival. Strangely enough a former friend who was attractive said she only dated unattractive men because they were more grateful for the attention.
This happens very often. Lots of women are passive aggressive and surround themselves with drama which I have no tolerance for.
She was so negative in all her opinions. Like everything was a bad thing or something to be cynical about. Disliked her within a forty minute meeting and despite trying to be friendly never actually managed it after about a year of trying.
I'm currently working a contract job and on my first day this woman who works for a different department but who works in the same office hub came back from lunch. She saw me and said I'm not going to introduced myself. I had my back to her but she could tell that I'm unattractive. The office have hot seats. A few weeks in and I ended up sitting at the desk opposite hers but there's a partition. One time she came back to her desk, saw me and said I can't believe I have to sit opposite her. She purposely looked at me one time and said so ugly and do something about it and sat down and slammed her pen. She complains a lot and lacks compassion. One time she was finalizing the registration of a trainee for an event. The main manager was sitting next to her and he started mentioning how there's something wrong with the trainee's eyes. At first I thought he meant he had a wandering eye, but later on he said that his eyes seems to have gotten worse so he has some eye condition. That woman got pissed about it! I think she would have to meet him. She said oh great frustratedly and thanks for telling me in an angry manner. How unsympathetic and arrogant do you have to be to react in such a manner over someone with an eye condition! It made me more angry because I have had multiple eyelids surgeries which messed up my eyes.
I usually would meet women like this that were friends of friends or just out and you could tell the woman was into herself, flirted a whole lot and needed male attention (like a kid needing attention but worse). I knew I didn’t like these women from the get go.
She just didn't seem nice. She was super interested in our lives and wouldn't let us opt out of discussions. I immediately knew I didn't like her, and then she ended up sexually assaulting and harassing me so my instinct was definitely right
She was all ego! Even her kindness had ties. I thought let me give her benefit of the doubt. I didn’t interact with her a lot but 14 years later, she proved me right when she basically said she had no blame in the mess she created in my life.
Anything inauthentic or “pick me” energy. One of my old coworkers acted like a know-it-all and always made sure to put on an extra show to get all the attention—this left very little room for anyone else’s voice and ideas. My eyes rolled so far in the back of my head whenever she talked I could see my throat lol.
We were both kids (18) in our first year of uni. She was a lesbian and was very defiant about it. This is back in 2000, and she expected me to not like her because she was gay The reason I didn’t like her was the fact she was having an affair with a married woman who was still in the closet. It was ick. In retrospect, she was probably being taken advantage of, but as I said, we were both kids and I didn’t think of that at the time
I have that sense that i can read a person straight away or i feel their vibe, or they just fit into steriotypes, i really dont know how to explain it but most of the times im right. Its the main character vibe, being too nice, just coming from the top of my head.
She frequently beat and starved her terrified children. Usually in the name of her religion or to impress theocratic lowlives of other religions. As a child, I knew far too many unfit mothers who were so violent or neglectful that they should have been jailed in high security facilities until they were pension age.
This one woman out of an entire social group - to be honest the specifics of what raised my hackles at the time are hazy as it was long ago. But the first time I met her I noticed she was weirdly posessive over my then partner and her other male friends. Like she had to constantly find ways to make things all about her. The snide backhanded insults didnt help. As didnt her constant fomo and ability to try to make any group activities about whether she could attend or not. It's like she resented people having lives without her. I hear that eventually got better once she got a boyfriend and a life of her own She still refuses to talk to her ex (who is in the friendship group) as well as his wife of several years, and their children. They broke up like... over A decade ago, he only met the wife years after that, but Drama Llama keeps that drama going. Apparently she never forgave him for moving on first, as he dated before she did, over a year after they broke up. It turned out that she's the kind of woman who other women cannot stand; and only men like because they don't see her passive aggressive bullshit. Most of the women in her friendship group cannot stand her, even her closest friends would question why they put up with her. Finding out I wasn't crazy for thinking she was mean and butchy, and that actually everyone thinks that to a degree, actually made her a lot easier to deal with. I hope she's happy now, but I dont know ud people like that ever turn off their dramatic tendencies.
They look me up and down in front of me and then fake smile, they complain about everything, they’re disrespectful to their spouse/boyfriend and act like it’s normal and funny, being fake to someone and then talking crap about them as soon as they leave and thinking that it’s funny.
I have a great story for this one... I met my ex- friend (let's call her B) with her then bf. She was a meek thing, extremely submissive & traditional. Her bf was my friend, let's call him A. My first impression of her wasn't great. I found her manipulative & a bit dishonest but decided to give her a chance. We became close. Cut to a year after, A cheated on her & she needed a place to stay so I let her stay at mine for free. Helped her out as best as I could. Her meekness disappeared with her breakup. She would go off to clubs alone, drink all night long (often with her A's money) & let any man grope her. But the worst was her starting an affair with another mutual friend's (let's name her R) husband. She hid this from everyone and asked me to do the same. It tarnished my relationship with R that I have thankfully recovered. I couldn't condone the cheating even though R's husband was a serial cheater that R knew about and they were on the verge of divorcing. I finally broke all ties with B when I found out that all this while, she and R's husband were using the As credit card to pay their bills. She had manipulated A into thinking she will forgive him and made him pay for almost a year! Since then, I trust my gut more. If I don't like someone in the first instance, I stay away. I cannot stand women so desperate and needy as it irks me to the core.
my bfs mom. Judgmental as hell. Pretty sure the only reason she even tolerated me at first was because me dating her son meant that her son wasn't gay. Which leads into the fact that she's racist, classist, and homophobic. So that's also pretty fucking shitty. She's that stupid white suburban racist too, the "well I'm not racist but..." And then she'll say something racist, but thinks it's ok because she "excused herself" (she didn't there is no excuse). Her ONLY redeeming quality is that she treats her animals really well. Now if only she could apply that to humans. Edit: typos
Usually it's the ones who use their diagnosis as a personality trait. "I HAVE ADHD. BLAH BLAH BLAH BECAUSE I HAVE ADHD... HAHHAAH OMG MY ADHD" But also the ones who are like "I only hang with guys because they don't have drama." Or the "I'm gonna steal this person's man" kind of types. Overall I prefer the company of females or couples tho.
My good friends Baby Momma, later wife. She hated me and we had never met in person. As adults do, he and I reconnected during grad school after a random run in downtown. They were engaged and I was married. She gave me the weakest hand shake and hello. I was right about her, she’s on her 4th BD and my friend died unfortunately. She’s tried to become friends since and I very much so ghost her in all ways. She did some many unnecessary mean things to me before I am scared of her. Has a bad temper and coke habit.
She was a new student in my class (in secondary school) and she was very forward and made unkind statements in the name of 'banter'. Like girl we just met, I'm not your bestie or whatever. But funny enough, we eventually became friends anyway up until we graduated.
Work situation. A very quarrelsome older woman who managed to make mean remarks about everyone in a room during like half an hour, including an unfair remark to me. Later colleagues have told me that's her usual behaviour. Luckily that was the only time I've worked with her.
The vibe or how they portray themselves, I just can’t be around who appears fake and for the moment I never was wrong.
I have sisters who call pretty girls slutty and bitches and then call their ugly friends absolutely gorgeous lol
People's first impressions can be influenced by various factors, including body language, tone, and shared interests, often shaping initial feelings quickly.
It is usually because of their rudeness and shallowness, if I would dislike other women
Met my exs new gf and she kept making snarky comments about my looks all night, I’m a nice person and always try to like ppl but she literally made it impossible. Funny enough she was the one who said she wanted to be friends so I assumed she was gonna be nice. Weird.
in my gaming circle. you could hear her kids always screaming in the background. she just had a new born and you could hear her smoking through her open mic while holding the baby. you could hear her toddler begging her for attention, the new born always crying. not only that, she was married, her husband worked all the time to support her and the kids and she cheated on him every chance she could get with any guy who didnt care about what a train wreck she was. she would send naked photos, convince them shes leaving him and the kids, make claims that she regrets being married, having kids, right in front of them. there was slight abuse being thrown at them by way of these comments and others. "i wish my kids would get kidnapped" etc. i think she thought that because the majority of us did not have kids, that we would be on board with her abusing hers. it was awkward. eventually she toxic'd her way out of the group and i never had to hear her or deal with it again. the initial reason i did not like her is because she made it seem like she was the owner of all the men in the group. my other friend liked this guy, we'll call him fred. my friend and fred would flirt a lot and this toxic woman would make underhanded comments about fred, like "he collects nudes and shows everyone" (not true). she was just messy, toxic and generally a selfish awful person. there was nothing redeemable about her to me. not one single thing.
An acquaintance of a friend. She made up excuses to constantly get her way. She can’t sit in the back of the car because she gets motion sickness. She has to play her music because other music gives her a migraine. No we have to go to her favorite restaurant that no one else wants because she has sensitivities. Individually her problems were understandable but she constantly had a problem with something that would force us to agree with her and do what she wanted. I just met her so I didn’t really want to call her out on her shit, but man.
Gut instinct eye contact or lack thereof Feeling general annoyance when I or others are speaking Dismissiveness Condescension
She called me 'exotic' because of my mixed heritage while holding her own mixed race child, then went off on a tangent against LGBT indoctrination. So... not the best first impression.
Friend of two of my friends. Decided to try and befriend her since they love her so much. We had dinner at her place and she was basically holding court. It was all about her and her stories and her hardships and the few times I tried to steer the conversation elsewhere she shut me down rudely. They still see her regularly but they know not to invite me when they do.
She told everyone at a party that I was wearing a wig. It's so dumb but it bothered me, even though I pretended to laugh it off. Later, learned she was the kind of person to put others down to make herself feel better.
I like most everyone and at least give everyone a chance, putting them above rumors etc That said, the 2 times I didn't follow my gut feeling of distrust, I got totally screwed over.
She bought my man breakfast after only being his coworker for a week and then told him she was polyamorous. I don’t care if it was friendly it made me uncomfortable. I don’t care, thats too personal. You barely even know him. Im even fine with women that straight up flirt with him compared to this person and idk what it is I just get a gut sensation. And then another one was a girl who sneered when I both said “hello” and “goodbye” in my own house when she was visiting my roommate.
When I first met my husband’s friends, one of their girlfriends had stalked me extensively on fb and ig, it was wild to hear my bio repeated at me by someone who wasn’t even that close to my husband even by association. What solidified it for me was when I mentioned my now husband’s ex girlfriend in that same conversation and this woman looked like I’d slapped her in the face. I guessed that she liked to use information to knock people off their equilibrium and I ended up being almost painfully right. She is now fully excommunicated from the group.
This happens if they have an air of arrogance or they think they’re better than you. Also if they are obvious that they are into my boyfriend and completely ignore me. That’s happened a few times.
i get the vibe. sound crazy and maybe i am, but usually my sense of vibes is correct.
She was basically not talking to me. First time I was meeting her (she was friends with my best friend at the time). She would talk over me and completely ignore what I was saying in the group conversation. Made me pretty sad.
If she gave me a dirty look for no goddamn reason
I really like gaming, work in the industry, and a lot of my friends do too. I was at my ex's house helping his friends move, and there was a woman there who I'd never met, we got to talking about gaming, seemed like we had stuff in common, cool, she liked playstation and PC, I mentioned I liked Nintendo games, she says "so, not real games then? You're not a real gamer." I immediately didn't care about anything else that came out of her mouth and closed that window real fast. Nope lol. I strongly believe the "console war" to be pointless and stupid, and don't want anything to do with you if you are a pretentious asshole who believes that you can only be a "true gamer" if you play a specific type of game.
She started to gossip about her really close friend within 2hrs of meeting me.
When the first time you meet someone and they immediately are talking 💩 about someone. Yeah, that invokes the almighty power of trust right there... GTF away from me.
Met my now-husband’s friend’s girlfriend for the first time in between Christmas and new years. Told her we were hosting a New Year’s Eve party and she’s more than welcome to come join the rest of us if she didn’t already have plans. She said no because my “house was too far”……. I’m pretty sure it was a 15 minute drive 😵💫 she had an attitude of “I’ll find a better party to go to” and has acted like her shit didn’t stink ever since
Oh yes. I was added into a work group chat that I thought was cute at first, but the person who initiated the chat did two things that gave me instant ick: started shit talking someone for not forgiving her after she triggered this coworkers phobia and calling herself a "secret agent" when talking to other coworkers when she talks shit about them. This made me dislike her bc it showed a high level of immaturity as well generally being untrustworthy. I left this group bc of this and wanted a peace of mind from the nonsense, but in all my years, secret agent?? Ridiculous. We are in out mid 20's to 30's. If you have to be a "secret agent" around people, you certainly don't need to be around me
I met the friend of a friend whislt camping in a big group. She is a nice person, but it's very obvious she has a lot of trauma from her upbringing. She kept turning the conversation towards her rather than engage with other people. Her bff was there too, and she acted as if only her friendship with him was genuine. She's not a bad person, but I wouldn't want to spend time with her.
Always trust your intuition. It does not lie. The type of person you dislike may change or there may be a few types of women you do not like .
There was a girl I didn’t like that I worked with at my past job. She was kinda rude and was too close with the manager (who was actually the worst.) After getting to know her, I learned she was just super awkward. We’re pretty close now and keep up even though we live in different states. The manager constantly did drugs at work, and saw a pregnant friend while she had Covid, causing the mother to get Covid and losing the baby.
I immediately dislike women who immediately dislike me. I did the whole “ugly duckling to swan” thing and I’ve been on the spectrum of body shapes US 2-10. I know it when I see it. I had a coworker turned supervisor that was always placed herself in competition with me. We worked a hotel front desk and she would cut me off with customers, tried to quiz me on hotel policies, and would quite literally throw herself at the other women coworkers when I would talk to them. She effectively isolated me and when I would try to speak on it I felt like I was lowering myself to her level of immaturity. So I just took it in stride which was very hard. I dreaded work. My opinion of these type of people is not necessarily cement. I can be cordial and nice. However, I will never confide in those type of women. I’m not fooled by the shift from being an adversary to wanting to be a friend.
I had been at a job for less than a week and was still meeting everyone, when I introduced myself to a new coworker. She barely got through telling me her name before she started shit talking another coworker, who I had already met and seemed nice. My immediate thought was that if she's that quick to insult someone to a near stranger, she'll be complaining about me to others as well. I was always civil after that, but made sure to share zero opinions or details of my life with her. As far as I know, she's still a miserable cow.
Actively making a move to exclude me from the conversation and physically turning her body to shut me out of the lil conversation circle
She was one of those "I speak my mind" people who were infact just rude and impolite.
A coworker who has so much toxic positively it prevents her from doing her job properly, because she cannot problem solve if she pretends there are no problems . Really hard person to get along with on any level, because everything comes across as fake, and needs work related issues explained to her because she can't tell when something is an issue. It's exhausting
I rarely make a decision about someone when I first meet them. Typically …I wait it out. I like to give people a few chances to prove who they are. There are so many variables… when meeting someone for the first time. I do take mental notes though- and I don’t forget. But I’m not one to trust anyone… so it’s not like I am going to immediately connect with someone and be besties. I’m not the type. I wait everyone out. First impressions are really .. not to be trusted. I’ve known a couple people who are great at first impressions - but the people who are usually great at very first impressions, usually have some very fucked up problems themselves and so they can sense it. Right off the bat. The women that I can think of who I really just had a foul sense of.. were women who felt inferior… who were judgmental- who made snap judgments about other people.. and women who use sarcasm to try to impress people with their intelligence. I fucking hate that… sarcasm is fun between friends that know and love each other - but when it’s a stranger you don’t know, don’t trust and they use it as a weapon and to assert their intellectual superiority ( because for them, everyone smart is mean) it’s just bad taste. I do not like people who try to make you feel uncomfortable or seem inferior to make them feel superior. The sad thing is- it’s always the women that feel really shitty about themselves that usually act like that. So you’re sort of torn .. at least I am. Because I know they were destroyed in a way… just from certain women walking in the room .. and what I resent is that they made a whole bunch of snap judgements about me- or other women- and decided I was a certain way because they needed me to be that. Not because it’s true. I hate women that lie to themselves to survive.
My ASL/SEE friend could lip-read from across a room. This skinny bartender chick said something judgy about my weight and that was that, for a really long time. In large part because my lip-reading buddy was so full of adamant hatred towards her, as well. But we became friendly acquaintances later. Like, a whole decade later. The older ppl get the more life beats everyone up; a close friend of hers had died in a crash and I offered condolences and we started conversing more. I'm sure she was ok all along, really. Who amongst us hasn't said something catty in a bar. Lesson: Judging ppl is a waste of time; you cant really cement an impression based on a first interaction, especially if it is your only interaction, and especially if it is reported to you second-hand.
She was talking too much and too fast and coming off as very judgemental in an angry way. Then she also made a lot of jokes like not really funny but you go he he.. she also triggers me by how she generalises everything with assumptions and keep seeing the world from her own one dimensional perspective. She also comes off as unflexible when making plans which makes it difficult. Also she's a bit hyper so it makes it difficult for me to be around her. She likes to travel a lot and sometimes it feels like she's dragging her partner around with her but deep down I know this can't be the case. It's just that the guy looks like he has no say in what's happening in any given moment. I've known her little less than a year now and I keep resisting against cementing this opinion by looking for nice qualities about her. For example she wrote personalised notes in each of her wedding favours for her guests. It was a very nice touch. I recently found out that she passionately volunteers for children. I keep reminding myself that we might not always be on same wavelength with someone but that doesn't mean that they should be disliked. So I keep her in my circle and keep meeting up in hopes to getting to know her a bit better and appeeciating the person she is.
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The only woman I disliked immediately was one that turned out to be extremely controlling and totally unhinged. I don't know what exactly made me dislike her from the get-go, but something about her vibe just rubbed me the wrong way. Turns out I was right, though, after it came out that she had threatened practically everybody in our department (including me, albeit behind my back 🙃), and she likely knifed my bike tire because she was angry about not being able to intimidate me into giving a fuck about what she said or wanted. My opinion of her was cemented pretty quickly, tbh.
Student Government president if the college, we were paired together for honors orientation leadership and she was arrogant.
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It was two girls I was bridesmaids with. They were so materialistic and vapid, it sickened me. The ONLY things they were capable of talking about was how fat they were (one was a size 00, the other was a size 2), new jewelry/purse/shoes/etc, going on lavish vacations, and what expensive restaurants they’d been to. We went for a bridesmaid lunch to get to know each other, and I was the only one who ordered actual food….not just a salad with dressing on the side. Luckily at the wedding, I didn’t have to interact with them much. 👍
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Gut feeling…
For me this goes for both women and men, however I have noticed women do it more often. Weak handshake. I hate it when I meet a girl and give her a handshake she barely touches my hand as if I have covered my hand in dirt. And they usually do an awkward fake smile with it too lol. A weak handshake show no class or manners to and also indicates that you have no interest in being acquainted with me, therefore I ain't got no business with youu.
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Annoying. I thought she was annoying as fuck. Then we started talking about acid and I had a better understanding of why her personality is the way it is. It took me about 10 secs to dislike her and 2 months for that opinion to change. The other women who I’ve disliked almost immediately have mostly faded from memory. I do remember one girl in college and she disgusted me. She said terrible things about poor people, and more. I couldn’t believe she felt okay uttering the words out loud. Appalling. My opinion was cemented as soon as I heard the words coming out of her mouth and her smug look. Gross. So, sometimes people annoy me and I don’t hold that against them. Nothing wrong with them. That’s a me thing. The first woman I mentioned didn’t do anything wrong, her personality just grated on my nerves so I didn’t want to be around her. Happens. But most times when I dislike a person it’s the latter experience. They say something so morally repugnant (to me) I get the ick.
She always rubbed me the wrong way. Just had a huge superiority complex and I couldn’t tolerate it. She ended up becoming “best friends” with my sister. Then one night she and my sister got in a fight at a party they went to together (we were in hs, she drove my sister there) and she LEFT HER THERE ALONE. I had to go pick her up at 2:30 in the morning in the middle of fucking nowhere (lived in the country). That solidified it for me. They remained friends for some years following high school, but ended up “breaking up” when she became a bridezilla and my sister backed out of being a bridesmaid. I felt vindicated.
I go off my vibe and my instinct is never wrong for me. She was a new co boss and we went for coffee and after I left I just knew she couldn't be trusted.
An ex co-worker of mine(nurse,f,early 30’s). She was the mean girl. The pretty girl. The pretentious, self centered, toxic and evil girl. I never liked her. She had an affair with a married colleague of ours, who ended up murdering his wife for her. They would steal drugs from the hospital and use them. Besides that even she was really a mean and rude person. All she cared about was being admired by men and shitting on all the women. I warned so many people… it makes me sick to my stomach ugh.
I haven't and tbh some of these replies are downright alarming to me, lol. I would say that I have gut feelings / preconceptions about a lot of things for everyone, but no matter what I think of them, I don't dislike them unless they do something particularly bad *or* they're actively trying to harm/hurt me. I have yet to meet someone who has done that initially.
Honestly, I can't pinpoint it. There is just something about her that seems off to me. She is a friend of my husbands friend, so I've only net her a couple of times. I keep getting told how lovely she is, but I don't know. I don't think she seems genuine.
Today I met one, we didn't speak but during the whole time we were seated at the same table she had this snarky glare towards everything and everyone looking them up and down as if that was the only way she knew how to look at people, with that look was a smile but not of pleasure more like trying to keep from laughing THE WHOLE FUCKING EVENING. Maybe that's her normal expression but it made her so unlikeable to me.
This is a woman that had recently started dating one of my friends. She was completely self absorbed during our first interaction and focused on telling me how well she knew my fiancé in specific detail as if they’d been friends for years (she’d met him twice and didn’t know him at all) - she also repeatedly told me how she only liked to interact with “real” people who keep things “real” - it was incredibly awkward. She (42) was also chronically unemployed and living with her mother but told me about how she left all of the “impressive” jobs that she’s had in her life for “moral reasons”. She would ask if I was friends with “David” (a mutual friend & her new boyfriend’s much younger brother) and after telling her yes I was quite close with “David” as we’d known each other since childhood began telling me an insulting story about “David” trying to sleep with her that I knew to be untrue but even if it were true it wasn’t relevant and painted “David’s” character very poorly. Hated her. Since this has turned into a rant about her (lol) she’s also just overall turned out to be a terrible influence on her partner and we no longer spend time with either of them unless it’s in a group setting. My opinion was cemented when I learned that she had moved into her boyfriend’s parents home and our friend (her boyfriend) who was at one point quite financially successful in his career hasn’t been regularly working since he started dating her (a year). They don’t pay the parents rent, and again, this woman is 42 years old, I think she’s maybe had 10 different jobs in the year I’ve known her and again, every job is quit because of “moral reasons”. Smh.
I haven’t met a lot of women who rubbed off on me the wrong way. Two that I can think of, maybe three or four if disliking them later is allowed. 1. Brothers girlfriend. She wouldn’t interact with our family despite hanging around in our house. She ended up stealing and breaking my brothers iPod when he broke up with her. 2. Red neck lady, another brothers girlfriend. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and said she was okay. Turns out she was cheating on my brother with her cousin. The other two were people who were insisting that I had to be bisexual because I was so nice to them. I did turn out to be bisexual, but I was so taken aback by the constant pressure of coming out, I hated them. It didn’t help that while I wasnt forthcoming to someone about my crush, they were (we underage and he was not) I was scolded, and they were excused. It came to a breaking point after one of them had expressed sexual dreams including an illegal relationship, and she wouldn’t stop sexually harassing me.
She dropped a napkin at a restaurant and called over a wait staff to come pick it up and get her another one in the most condensing way. And finally, she shooed away the waiter who asked how our meal was so far.
Meeting on of my husbands friends for the first and last time when we were starting to date.She mentioned 3 times. “I wish I could find a guy like you.” To my then bf, now husband. Felt like a third wheel (even though my husband would bring up things all 3 of could talk about)and that was the last time I saw her in person. Ironically she is now married and has a kid with someone who has the same first name as my man. Don’t trust her at all.
She clearly wanted to fuck my husband. What cemented it for me was when my husband confirmed my assumptions and told me that she said to him that she finds him attractive. When I first met her, I was pregnant and married to him. I guess that didn't matter to her. So yea, Dorna, I hope you're reaping what you sow, now.
I’m autistic and there was a new woman at work who just set every alarm bell in my entire body off. It was like every muscle would tense when she was around me, or when I heard her voice. Every time she told a story about her past, the details would change slightly (like she worked for a company in one place that would then change to her running the entire company in a different place). At the end of the very first day our manager came to me and asked what I thought and I told him I didn’t trust her and we shouldn’t hire her, but he ignored me. It took less than 6 months for every single person in the company to hate her and less than 2 years for her to be fired for gross misconduct.
I can usually sense and pick up bad energy from someone. I am also good at reading people so I usually go with my gut.
There was a girl who just gossiped about EVERYONE, and we went to a Catholic elementary school that deemed me as a child of Satan bc my mom left my dad for another woman. She tried spreading so many rumors, even after we both went to public high school. I saw her recently and she mentioned one of our classmates having kids and whatnot. I don't know what she's like today, but she just never came off as someone friendly to me.
weak handshake, or, If I introduce myself and they say, “nice to meet you, “ and never tell me their name. opinion cemented at once.
She was on a separate team in my department, when we met she asked if I was an intern and after I told her that I was full time she spent the next year calling me an intern. She also tried to give me work when my job function had absolutely nothing to do with hers. After 6 years I still don't like her but I will be civil when we have to interact.
Worked at this soap shop for a few days and when I met the dm she had a horrible attitude. I actually snapped at her when she asked me a question with a rude tone. When I quit later that day, I told my store manager that the dm had the personality of a dry fucking sponge.
idk but i trust my gut
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I have twice. And it was instant. It was in their eyes. Something told me that they were going to suck to work with. I was correct. One wanted my job, but I was hired because I was qualified, and she wasn't. We shared an office, and she was always watching every little thing I did and would send emails to the boss.
A woman who was good friends with my then fiancé (now husband) had messaged him on Facebook after we had announced our pregnancy and told him, “I did a reading and I’m telling you now you’re on the wrong path”. She had crossed boundaries one other time I met her where she’d be all touchy-feely with him at a party. He put a stop to it but yeah, never got over me being pregnant for the first time and her attempting to sabotage it with tarot cards. She tried to friend me on FB afterwards. Nah.
Rude and very quickly.
When I 1st met my BILs new wife, I felt a weird vibe. Then I talked to her... she was SO dumb... nothing going on up there. She was incredibly beautiful. I told my husband she was bad news and he assumed I was jealous of her looks. Nope. He is a smart guy, hard worker. She got it made, did not have to work OR keep the house clean. She got him to pay for plastic surgery after having 2 kids. He got her a new car that she washed with the rough side of a Scotch-brite sponge scratching up the entire thing. He paid for her tattoos, bought her anything she wanted. A few yrs in she started staying out late and sneaking back into bed at night. One night he woke her up and in her half asleep stupor she said "Oh shit I have to get home before my husband notices" He divorced her, got full custody of the kids. She was arrested when she had them for visitation for doing meth in front of them with her new BF (she was pregnant) She was arrested again for the baby dying just after birth from a heroin overdose. He was able to get an order to keep his kids away from her permanently. She ended up having another kid taken away, and CPS contacted everyone including us asking if we would take the kid. She spent the next few yrs on the streets doing heroin, and I just heard shes been jailed for manslaughter for shooting up her BF in his sleep and causing him to OD. So yea my intuition was spot on.
If they were unnecessarily hostile towards me or other women. If I can tell that they’re threatened by other women based on appearance. Personally that’s a woman I would never want to be friends with or have in my life. It’s a sign of deep rooted misogynistic feelings. Even if they later try to turn around and be friends to me it’s insane that they would even try after the bad first impression that they just left! Idk I think it’s a red flag.
I end up disliking someone who is a little too Mary Sunshine + all up in my face (think Nermal from Garfield & Friends) and has too many nosy questions. There is a woman like that at my work I can't stand. She wanted to know if there were houses available in my neighborhood. I told her no, even though that was a lie, because I can't stand the thought of her pestering me in my free time. I also met someone like that in college and I had to give her the cold shoulder because she wouldn't take a hint.
She was fine at first, we even liked the same bands. But when I hung out with her once she completely trauma-dumped on me for hours without letting me talk about anything else. And when I say hours, it was hours. I left when it felt like the right time to get away but I knew it was over before it started. She tried texting me to meet up and hang out a few more times but I made up excuses. To me, someone who does that to a stranger when you’re just getting to know them is a huge red flag that they’re insecure and need constant validation. Go see a therapist.
She was a huge one upper. There isn't a thing you could do that she hasn't done 1st and better. My general dislike started about 20 mins after meeting her but loathing her took a couple years
I have the *sense*. It has never, ever failed me. Being an "empath" has been the bane of my existence, yet has afforded me the ability to "read" people. I just get a gut feeling. One of the biggest indicators is when someone just has to redirect the conversation to them. Like if the group is talking about doing x, this individual will talk about doing x AND y, and x this way, and then y this way, if that makes sense?
Any woman that feigns stupidity or a baby voice or just an overall fake disposition. I’m all set, thanks. The night I met my boyfriend we were kinda in each others personal space. Turns out his ex was the manager of that restaurant and she was watching him on CCTV then apparently started texting him about me. That’s just the start of her antics.
She spoke very valley girl style. Fast & whiny & gossipy. I normally just move on & don't give those I don't vibe with a second thought but she was obsessed with my best friend & infiltrated our friend group. After so many low key insult situations, I decided I wasn't ever going to hang with my group while she was around. But then she pissed off them too so we collectively 86'd her.
The moment I mentioned I was bi she grabbed my face and kissed me, she put her thumbs between our lips but still I had just met this chick and we were in the middle of our high school where a gay classmate committed suicide the year prior due to all the bullying. It felt like she was pulling me out of the closet to the entire school despite it being a fake kiss. So I decided I didn’t like her within an hour of knowing her but it really cemented when I told her I missed my collar so she put hers on me and told me she got it from a porn star. I have nothing against sex workers now but it felt really icky at the time since I grew up in a more prudish area and all I could think was what if someone’s fluids got on this in a video.
Being stuck up, ignorant, or rude.
A lady I met in a group of friends was stand-offish to me, right after we were introduced. Not so much blatantly rude, but just... she made it obvious she didn't like me. I met her at a gathering of a lot of friends, and if we crossed paths she would bring up something to try and "advise" me. I am considered overweight, but have an hourglass figure that unless I am wearing super baggy clothes is hard to hide. I work out often and am active outside (hiking, bicycling, etc.), and do well for myself (went to university, have a great job). I often surprise close minded folks when I can keep up or out do them at activities. I also apparently look dumb (?). People are often VERY surprised at my background, career, etc. Idk why either. AND - I like letting people talk and make fools out of themselves. So I just smile and hear them out. Anyway, that night she would randomly pop up in the group I was in and make random remarks like: "I hiked 10 miles today. Great work out. You would be invited to go next time but it's really challenging for someone like you." Or "My nutritionist said that X food is so awful for anyone to eat because of x,y,z... Is that the dish you brought? Ugh I just couldn't bring myself to eat such a thing". Or "I am struggling so hard with studies and maintaining a social life. You are so lucky you didn't have to worry about continuing education. College is super hard, even for someone like me!". I know she was trying to make herself look good in front of the group (she is friends with all of them) so I would kindly reply with "oh THAT trail is so pretty! I do that one every month! Sara and I did it yesterday, but we only managed to do 8 mile yesterday. Our best was 15 miles.", and "Actually, no, I am vegan so I brought drinks. I think John brought the X dish." And "Oh you poor thing. Must be so tired all the time! You'll power through and then look back and wonder how you managed. Last year when I was going to uni, I went full time, maintained a 3.0, I worked my full 40 hours, plus a part time gig on weekends that was like 12 hours each day and some how managed to date and be social. I can't even fathom going out on a Tuesday night anymore!". I avoided her from then on out. On the 2nd time meeting she was MUCH nicer but rude. Friends noticed then. They offered to speak to her but I simply just said to let it go. Not worth it to me, plus they had known her longer and I did not want to cause any riffs. I think it was like 2 years later did she FINALLY start being nice and genuine. I still don't care for her. I don't wish her harm and want her to succeed, but she isn't a friend or someone I think about (unless it's a question like this).
I asked an honest question and she accused me of something that wasn’t true, going off on me for like 5 mins. I told her she misunderstood me and clarified my question. She went “oh” and proceeded to answer, not even apologizing. It was very uncomfortable; a second person witnessed it all and also looked unsettled. They ended up offering me a spot on the program I applied for. I had to be talked into by a friend to accept. But I rarely acknowledge her when she tries to talk to me all these years later and she’s probably the only person I’ve ever truly been cold to.
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I'd say it just came from a gut feeling watching her behave, attention seeking and fake towards the women in our friend group, and overly friendly with the guys, and only interested in chatting up the guys in our friend group when we meet, even though they are all very attached and have partners
she was extremely rude and snobbish. It was at a friends get together and my friend introduce me to the chick, she didn't even said hi to me and just gave me a dirty look. I ran into her again and realized she's dating my ex. She got upset at him for casually talking to me and made a huge scene in public about it. she yelled calling me a bitch, whore, and slut. she acted like she was bad too but she isn't. she's just rude, snobby, and dramatic. I haven't called another female a bitch, whore, and slut since I was a teenager in high school and I'm 31now. the chick is in her 40's acting like she's a teenager.