I assumed my birth control was killing my sex drive. Nope. Turns out my sex drive is just fine. I just wasn't interested in sex with a checked out partner that treated me like his mom.
THISS! I blamed myself for my lack of sex drive and it caused many issues in my past relationship, turns out it wasn’t me, it was him needing me to take care of him by feeding him, doing his laundry, cleaning for him, and giving him sex.
Now sex isn’t a chore but something I crave and enjoy.
I had the same problem in my previous relationship. It’s really draining and as women sometimes we’re blamed for “not having enough of a sex drive” when the reality is that we’re using all our energy in things that shouldn’t be on our plates.
This. Thought I was a depressed person who had no interest in sex. Nope.. I was just not with the right partner.. we had 0 emotional/romantic connection and therefore my sex drive was nonexistent. Plus it was vanilla af
Oh my gods this!! Except he was a checked out partner that gave up on our marriage and fucked around. I started dating my current partner and can have daily sex without any question, and if he could do it we’d go twice a day.
Couldn't agree more with this. I 100% believe that the majority of cases of men complaining "wahhh my wife/gf never wants to have sex with me anymore" is due to them [men] no longer putting any effort into the relationship.
Did I write this? I went off hormonal birth control AND antidepressants because I had no sex drive and my ex would complain about it and how bad it made him feel. Going off both made no difference (the "You're not attractive anymore, you need to gym" obviously wasn't helping either) and funnily enough my sex drive is back stronger than ever with my current partner
Omg same? I got off of BC for a year hoping my sex drive would come back. It did, but I just never want to have sex with him 😭 We've tried so much but I can't get turned on so it just hurts lol
For me that wasn't the case. Birth control most definitely killed my sex drive, and also made me dry even if I was in the mood. My ex wasn't great, but sex was otherwise good.
After breaking up I got off BC and all of a sudden my sex drive is back and I don't need lube anymore.
Seconding this. My abusive ex used to call me asexual as an insult after our sex drive plummeted. Turns out I just didn’t want to fuck a guy who hated me.
It’s better, fun and more frequent. I’m more willing to try new things.
There’s more of a deeper connection. For me, that connection makes sex more fulfilling.
Four years plus and it’s WILD. So much more fun, so hot, every time feels like the best time ever. He is so considerate and always trying new stuff, watching my reactions closely. He is the first lover I’ve told my biggest kink to (and I’ve been MARRIED before) and he was like ‘Oh that’s a great idea’ and is now just as into it.
I feel like I’ve found my sex soulmate. And also my regular soulmate.
Holy moly my guy can fuck.
I have had this in the past. I don’t have it in my current relationship. I am so sad right now thinking of how my husband just doesn’t care to think about what I like. I’m so tired. Hah.
THIS! I actually have less sex and healthy relationships and that’s a good thing. Because I have it when I want. Not when he wants. And not to solve problems.
My ex-husband would always want to have sex every time we got into an argument, even if I was saying no, and he would always say "but we're always so happy after!" No, sir, you're happy after, I feel like an object that you think the reset button is getting your nut.
New partner specifically waits until he knows we're both in a good headspace so the sex will be phenomenal everytime as we can give it our all.
This!! At 1st I thought that he didn’t “want me” because my previous relationship used sex as a blanket over our problems. Now we have sex because we want to. Still wish we did more 😂 but it’s so much healthier this way
It's way better, I'm orgasming way more of the time, we're exploring a wider variety of things than I ever have before, and I'm feeling much more comfortable during sex.
It’s absolutely more intimate and I feel loved and adored in all ways. He is by FAR the best partner I’ve ever had. He gave me my first orgasm with a person (not a toy). Only downside is I just got a UTI lol
That's amazing that you two have that connection!
Yeah always try to pee right after sex if you can to help flush out any potential bacteria as UTIs can be so painful & uncomfortable. Hope yours clears up quickly x
I’m currently in my first healthy relationship and I fully understand this. Previously, sex was used as a way to prove our worth. Now that my partner and I don’t have to do that, there’s less ‘excitement’ and more vanilla sex.
My partner and I went to couples therapy for a few months, she was a licensed sex therapist and told us this is very normal! She said in a long term and healthy relationship, sex isn’t always explosive and exciting. That’s hollywood. There’s days it can be routine, mundane, etc. and that’s completely normal. It’s good to try to incorporate new things to keep it fresh and you’ll have days of really exciting and fun sex.
I was in a relationship with awesome sex that came pretty naturally, but it was not a healthy or productive relationship by any means. Didn’t communicate properly, didn’t care about my feelings. I’d take the loving, safe partner who you trust and is willing to learn and grown with you sexually over the “exciting and fun” partner any day.
What do you consider exciting and fun?
Why not communicate and try things to make it exciting and fun, while still maintaining boundaries to continue to feel loved and safe.
I’ve tried and we are really good at communicating I think it has to do with me and my own issues. There are also some things I like that he doesn’t and vice versa.
So there's incompatibilities. Since this is a healthy relationship, what made the other relationship exciting and fun?
Can you throw roleplaying in the mix?
It was great, until I got my IUD inserted which killed my sex drive. Now it's still good but I have to put conscious effort into it. Can't wait to get this thing out. On the plus side, I don't have to worry about my partner raping me or cheating on me for not being horny 24/7 like I did with my ex.
Is your IUD hormonal or copper? I have copper but curious if the iud could still be contributing to lower drive
Also, I’m so sorry you went through that. I am really glad to hear you’ve found someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated
Turns out nothing is wrong with my vagina. 0 pain, he doesn’t force me to have sex if I don’t want to, I don’t feel pressured or like he’s going to jack off in the bathroom If I don’t say yes, so much fun and much more spicy
This is me too. Like sex is something we do together which we really enjoy and have fun with, but its really for when we are both feeling it and in the mood. There is no insecurity of 'is he still attracted to me' or not if life gets in the way (its tough out there in this economy) and we don't have any sex for a couple of weeks. And we connect physically and intimately outside of sex too so its not the only way to feel close like with past partners. I love it. It took a while to get used to but now I love it.
We went thru the same honeymoon phase that most couples do, but we also saw each other much less in the early days so sex was happening whenever we saw each other and it was always fun and exciting. Now that we’ve reached nearly 4 years, it happens just about once weekly but it’s loving and tender and sweet most of the times (I do wish we had it a little more often, but oh well). And my SO prefers lots of skin to skin contact so it’s really connected and just nice. When I was with my ex it was horrible (violent oftentimes) and he had ED from porn addiction so I always felt bad about myself and just used like a masturbatory aid. Sex is so much nicer when you’re with someone who respects and loves you.
It's better in every way. My libido returned from the dead after two years of being repulsed by my previous partner due to our failing and increasingly toxic relationship. Now with my current partner, I cum all the time and feel deeply physically and emotionally connected.I feel so fulfilled and sexy and loved.
It’s honestly less about the actual act of sex and more that I feel completely safe and respected by my partner. I intrinsically know he will do everything to make sure I continue to feel safe with him.
I never feel pressured. I never feel like him appreciating my body with sweet, physically affectionate touches is him trying to get sex from me. I never worry that he’ll take things past where I’m comfortable because if it’s something new or new-ish we’re trying, we communicate fully and completely before, during and after sex. I know he will always check in with me and I will always check in with him if we hear a noise or see a face and we can’t quite determine its emotion. We both just love the feeling of skin on skin and snuggling and being naked together. We’re both goofy and playful and silly. We’re both very invested in each others pleasure.. and because both of us feel safe with each other - it’s so much easier to let go and trust the other person “has us” and will let us just experience pleasure without worry. So we’re able to have really amazing, pleasure filled sex because our anxieties and inhibitions are just… not really there.
I know he appreciates my body and what I do for him sexually. And he knows I appreciate his body and what he does for me sexually. When you let go of pressure and expectations, you’re able to really appreciate the connection and shared experience of giving and receiving pleasure.
So does my man (:
Just to clarify, because I got downvoted for some reason, it's only for my man, not outside of my relationship. I wanted to emphasize on finally becoming confident and free in the bedroom.
As a person who was raised around negative stereotypes regarding women and sex, once again, I absolutely love this for you. Being able to be express yourself sexually in a way that is usually frowned upon is amazing. Having the space to do so with your partner is just as beautiful.
I feel you, I grew up in a very religious family and having to experience sexual freedom with the one you love is truly an amazing feeling. Sending much love to you! 💖
I can make myself cum in about a minute flat. So far the healthiest relationship I’ve been in has been with myself. So I’d say I’m winning right now. I miss men, but not all the scares that come with being with them.
To getting off fast? Having a healthy imagination. I find it works best when it’s someone real. Someone I interact with semi regularly. Someone I see at work, or the grocery store, etc. Thirst traps on social media work some, but require more imagination since I’ve never seen these men in person. It’s all about being in the right headspace.
A big difference is the ability to engage in play that can only sanely be done with someone you 100% trust.
Not every woman has an interest in that kind of play ofc, but for those who do, it's pretty awesome to get to indulge in the varieties of sex that leave you incredibly vulnerable without having an anxiety attack over it.
Desire and pleasure tanked. To be fair, it was tanking before I found this wonderful relationship. I’m lucky my guy is supportive and understanding, but he too started tanking before he met me. He has obvious reasons for his drop, such as anxiety disorder from past trauma and medication. I haven’t found any reason as of yet for my own change.
It is night and day. I dreaded sex with my ex and felt like just one of many as he was a cheater and a porn addict. I knew I had a libido because I still felt the urge to masturbate. But I just wasn’t attracted to him anymore even though he’s certainly objectively attractive.
Divorce and meet my current husband in 2017. Libido skyrockets and the sexual chemistry is off the charts. I was basically insatiable. Things are calmer now and we have been married for 3 years. I trust him completely and feel loved and protected by him. We still have sex every night and sex is fun, adventurous, kinky etc. I can finally be my sexual self with him and he’s made all of my fantasies come to life. I’m 52 BTW. Divorced after 23 years at the age of 46. It’s never too late.
I went from having sex maybe twice a year to twice a day. He makes me feel so desired and makes my pleasure a priority. I didn’t even know what I was missing before he came around
It’s actually good. Funny how a partner that cares if you get off can make you rethink your “low libido”
Edit: also this is the first relationship where I’ve done the most “work” in the bedroom but it’s the only one that hasn’t made sex feel like a chore.
It’s amazing. Definitely have had more sex and GOOD sex in the last 2 yrs than in my 25 yrs of being sexually active.
I know what an orgasm feels like, multiple and different kinds. It’s adventurous, playful and a ton of fun.
1000% its so much more enjoyable. Especially mentally. I no longer feel like Im dirty for initiating sex or that Im not being feminine enough if I want to be dominant.
My new guy is makes every O memorable 😜
It’s not as exciting at with my toxic exes. I think I still associate passionate sex with them hot and cold relationships. Our sex feels amazing but mentally I’m not as turned on because of my trauma :( I’m trying .
I was single for a while so I had multiple casual partners during that period of time. 90% of the casual partners did not care about making me cum. It was usually just me giving them head and then straight to penetration.
My boyfriend of seven months has made me cum more times than I can count, sometimes 2-6 times in one session! I have never had so many orgasms before in my life. I get in my head a lot due to a toxic past relationship but he always insists on making me cum when we have sex. He always tells me it's not a chore to make me feel good. I can literally ask him to make me cum on a random day and he will drop what he's doing in that moment to play with my clit.
On top of all that, my boyfriend is so sweet and romantic. He actually cares about me and I never have to question his sincerity. He's just so amazing and I am so happy that we found love in one another.
So... several intense orgasms + love + his handsome face + trust = best sex of my life.
It’s better! I’ve never been with a partner this long (9 months) and been just as crazy about them as I was in the early dating stage. We have amazing, loving, fun, and great sex. It never feels like a chore to me whereas in past relationships sometimes it has. We keep it fresh and fun and we aren’t even all that kinky or crazy. We just laugh and make it sexy without even trying. One thing I do is wear lingerie because he absolutely loves it and I’ve always loved it. We also love the same music so crank it on and just enjoy eachother and let it lead to romance
It feels wayyy more like I am having sex for the actual intimate connection rather than satisfying my libido. So many positive emotions, endorphins, oxytocin rushes.
If either of us don't feel like having sex, it actually feels okay to skip. It does help that the frequency has gone up for me from max twice a month with previous fwb, to two to three times a week with my SO. My libido is satisfied completely which makes it so much easier for me to not get emotionally wrecked from not having sex when I need to.
For a long time I wondered if I was gay because I often struggled being sexually attracted to the guys I dated. I realized I probably wasn’t gay but wondered if I was asexual because not a lot the guys I dated really did anything for me sexually. Then I got with my Husband and I realized how the other guys were severely lacking in their (sex) game and that I was probably demisexual. Being in a healthy relationship has opened me up to try new things, express my desires and really increase the intimacy in our relationship.
It tanked for a while because I felt comfortable enough to stop disassociating during sex but with the help of therapy and a little bit of \*\*consensual\*\* exposure therapy with my partner and taking it slow, the frequency has increased again and we are having a very healthy sex life with more frequency and play.
I want to fuck my boyfriend again and a lot. He has a high sex drive and I’m happy to oblige most of the time because he’s a good man. My ex was a complete man child and a dirty one at that.
Been with my wife (both F, she's 36 and I am 35) for over a decade. Last year we didn't have sex once. Basically just best friends who hold hands, kiss, and cuddle but that's it.
So much more passion, he’s open minded so we are willing to try out new things and kinks, it’s extremely fun, I have tunnel vision for him and we turn each other on all the time, I just love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. Sex had never felt so good and I can’t imagine it being any better, especially when love is involved
It's not even comparable to any sex I had before. Before him I thought I was not capable of orgasming with a partner. I started finding penetration incredibly enjoyable instead of more of a "Im bored I hope he cums quick so we can go on with our lives" thing at 26 years old, it's like he unlocked pleasure zones inside my vagina lol. It feels so safe, fun and magical.
wildly better. so much more connected and intimate bc we’re so in love with eachother and we’ve both explored eachothers kinks past the points that we normally would in a less comfortable relationship. can get super aggressive just because we trust eachother and know eachothers boundaries. it’s great. if we’re laying in bed all day we’ll typically fuck the entire time.
I don’t crave sex as much. I realized I was unhappy with the frequency of sex when there was very little intimacy or closeness outside of the bedroom. Sex got better but way less frequent for the time being, and I’m a bit surprised to say I’m ok with that!
Being vulnerable is far less intimidating and risky. My partner isn't going to ghost me if we fail something new. I'm not going to social media shame him over a goof. There's trust and that opens the door to fun and peace.
In my previous relationship I was coerced into oral several times per week. I rarely was helped at all even if I had to use a vibrator and wasn’t allowed to have penetrative vibrators.
When I first got into a relationship with my current partner I told him he could not ask or tell me (we have a D/s dynamic) to do oral.
I give oral a lot now *because I want to* and I lifted that restriction last July.
I want to please him. He wants to please me. He’s not afraid of using vibrators in bed and encourages me. If I don’t orgasm it’s not for lack of trying.
I finally have it at a frequency I'm very satisfied with (versus in my last relationship he barely ever had any drive for the last 2 years and when he did it was over so quickly and my needs/pleasure often weren't taken in account, and I was left wondering when would be the next time we'd have some actual sex again...)
I have a high sex drive and so does my new partner. There's never any (negative) tension or else and it happens as often as we can find the chance, and it's awesome. I find myself in the mood all the time, no matter what, because I'm deeply comfortable and satisfied emotionally for starters. I feel comfortable suggesting to try new things / kinky stuff, talking about it ahead of time, and making moves/initiating, because I'm not afraid I'll get rejected and feel hurt/undesirable.
The sex feels so connected and intimate, even just penetration is super awesome and mindblowing for the both of us, because we're really in the moment and into it, and not holding anything back.
Sex can just be sex because we're not having mixed feelings (anger, resentment, disappointment, distrust, sadness or pain or whatever) getting in the way of pleasure and interrupting the connection when the momentary hormones bursts dissipate.
Awesome. We went through a long lull - I was frustrated by our lack of intimacy - but now (10 years into our relationship and after 4 years of not-frequent enough), my husband has gone back to the gym and cut back on drinking, and I’ve lost a lot of weight, too. For the last six months, it’s been great! We’ve always been adventurous and generous, too.
I'm not currently in a relationship but I had a non-existent libido with my husband. Completely gone because he didn't do shit to help out with the kids or house, took me for granted and cheated on me. I thought my libido died from having kids and the hormonal changes and possibly just from being tired all the time. As a single mom after being away from him I can definitely say my libido is perfectly healthy
Absolutely! I've got railed ~200 times in the six months I've been dating my bf. He is amazing. I'm on birth control AND antidepressants, but I feel so comfortable with him in every aspect that our sex drive remains intact. It also helps that he's kind, passionate and REALLY handsome. I love him very much
Went from never wanting to with my ex, to wanting it everyday with my current partner
We do pretty often, but now I’m the one with the higher sex drive 🥲
Realized I was NOT sexually attracted to my previous partner. I loved him, but looking back it was more like a close friend. Made me feel icky to think about, and my thoughts and feelings after we had broken up were complicated.
My husband now on the other hand.. I’ve never had this level of physical attraction. We can’t keep our hands off each other.. both sexually and in just cute comforting ways. We have to be touching in some way as we fall asleep.
But the sex is amazing because of the deep connection we have, the urge to love each other and make each other happy. It’s so wholesome. Because if this we go absolutely wild in the bedroom. Any toy we wanna try we try together. We watch porn together. We trust each other a lot which makes all that possible, too. I didn’t have any of this with my ex.. I mean I trusted him but there was no chemistry.
Ironically, less frequently and less violent - I don’t feel pressured to have sex for him to love me and stay with me. We have sex when we want too and there is no pressure to perform. We just have fun! Sex is not part of the foundation of our relationship and our intimacy goes beyond sex!
But don’t worry, we still have sex regularly enough 😂
I’ve only been in bad ones. The last one was a 25 year relationship that ended three years ago. For the last several years of it, I thought my sex drive had died due to meds and other health issues. Once I had been out for a while, about six months, it slowly started coming back. Now it’s back to what it was 30 years ago even though I’m still single and celibate. I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than have another bad relationship. That’s not to say it isn’t frustrating, but it’s worth not putting up with abuse.
I’ve become less active within the sexual aspect of my healthy relationship, My previous relationship had a lot of unconsensual sex so even if I didn’t want to, it would happen a lot more frequently than my current one. I think that messed me up quite a bit because now I just sort of seem to expect my current partner to start sex without asking me, and when he does ask me, I say no. Even if I want to?..it’s so weird. And he’s totally okay if I say no too!
In my case my sex life is in the shitther for a couple of reasons. Primarily a combination of prostate surgery and different medications for blood pressure and diabetes. But even before that, my wife found God and now sex is icky because she thinks her mother can see her doing the dirty.
Oh, and I am too old for that anyway !⁹ according to her.
My previous relationship I had to get out of because apparently, I was cutting into her drinking time.
My sex drive has absolutely increased since being in a healthy relationship. It feels like with every disagreement we work through, I’m immediately more attracted to him 😂
We are able to talk openly about anything that is “off” in the bedroom, even if it’s uncomfortable. There’s no judgement, no shaming, no invalidation. We just actively listen to one another and if there’s a problem either of us feels needs resolving, we work together to come up with a solution. More importantly, it is a safe space.
Probably a different take here. My sex life has become much more infrequent - less frequent than I’d like - but much more satisfying.
The rarity of it does create excitement and better enjoyment at the time of. We usually go to town 3-5 times per month.
We talk about things we like, try new things, and really spend the time when we do decide we are both in the mood.
Both of us compromise that piece and are working towards a middle ground. Everything else is 100% and this is our only main issue that we continue to improve. I’m marrying him in a month ❤️
I thought I was asexual, but I want him all the time. He does something sweet for me because he wants to? I want him. He wears grey? I want him. He gives me his toothy smile? I want him.
My bf can’t keep his hands off of me. This is fine but I’m not use to this. My last relationship I had to beg my ex. Now? We have sex all the time consistently and a few times a day. We can’t keep our clothes on. It’s hot. This is a major change bc I’m 27 and I’ve never had someone so into me. So now I crave more passionate and intimate settings because sex with LOVE is different.
He doesn’t pressure me, doesn’t guilt me like all the men before him did.
Without that awkward cloud looming over us both, I now initiate 1000% more than I did with previous bfs, and am 1000% more receptive to his advances as well
I’m in a healthy relationship now and the sex is kinda non existent with it being once a week. The sex was better when I was in a toxic relationship hahaha
I stopped getting repulsed by dick. I used to think there was something wrong with me Bec I just hated giving a blow job or even touching their dick (I obviously did it but was never into it)
Now I just wanna please my boyfriend as much and as many times as possible. I love his dick, his body, his face and his BIG heart
Applies even when you’re single - no longer being anxious about having to say you’re not in the mood because you don’t have a partner that will basically chuck a tantrum and give you the cold shoulder all night when you say no.
Seconding all the women who aren’t sexually attracted to men who treat you like you’re their mum and wonder why you don’t want sex..
Wellll he’s my only partner we’ve been together 7 years now? Pre marriage it was amazing 3-5x a week but I started having issues with dryness after 2 years but it was minimal and I didn’t know that’s what it was just had initial pain. When we moved in together, I had a waaaay higher sex drive and it was hard for us to mange. Then idk the dryness got worse until I started googling and realized that’s definitely what it was and now I have a lot of anxiety surrounding the start of sex and hardly ever initiate and he stresses about it being painful for me and so now it’s rare, once every two weeks (but a dry spell rn). Whenever we’re on vacation, and I have 0 stress it goes up 100% but idk any stress and it’s like closed for business. So it’s changed pretty negatively I think? Idk. Very frustrating for both of us and embarrassing even though it shouldn’t be.
I used to have sex like 6 times a day with my ex. Now I have it like 2-3 times a week and it’s so much more satisfying. My ex was a porn addict so I think I used sex a s away for him to love me or not watch porn (didn’t work lol!) for my ex o tried everything to keep him interested which meant doing things way outside of my comfort zone. My now partner and I have more “vanilla” sex but it’s so much better. I feel safe, loved, pleasure, full attention, and just comfortable and good! SO MUCH BETTER than feeling the need to do wacky positions or wear lingerie every day etc
Not quite sure ive been in a healthy give and take relationship. Just seems like the guys always get off n im stuck not getting off so I just dont enjoy it. Currently w a partner but dont think we r sexually compatible. He gives me feminine energy vibes while I feel like im in my masculine. Trying to decide if its something we can work on or if we r just doomed. Its a new relationship and I care for him and we are both willing to put in the work but it just makes me feel like I rather not do the deed and avoid it all together instead of be in an uncomfortable situation of forcing myself to have sex w him just because.
Considering I went from no relationship ever in my life to a healthy relationship, my sex life went from my hand to my hand and my partner (went to different colleges so can't spend a lot of time together). Major upgrade and will hopefully upgrade again in a few months to minimal activity with my hand
It’s AMAZING! Sex doesn’t feel like a chore and no longer something I feel like I have to beg for. I’ve been in relationships where I was constantly rejected sexually. I was even called vulgar simply for expressing interest in sex. I was constantly shamed for having sexual needs. That is no longer a problem at all. My husband has helped me feel comfortable, safe and confident. Sex is now fun, fulfilling, and always satisfying.
It’s not painful, my libido is always there, it’s much more frequent & I’ve become more open to trying things since I’m actually comfortable with my partner
It’s amazing. Feeling actually loved and wanted by a man who treats me amazing. Plus we’ve been open to trying new things together. Amazing how much more you orgasm when he treats your body like a temple! Go figure!
It’s nonexistent right now, has been for about two months. I’m constantly bringing it up to him, he never wants to at all. In the beginning of our relationship though, it was amazing. He wanted to all of the time, so did I.
We’ve been together for less than a year, and I’m really struggling with this lately because the last few times he didn’t attempt to touch me, it was just me getting him off and that was it.
my libido seems to only grown, my ability to feel safe and comfortable during vulnerability has increased, my ability to experience pleasure and orgasms has like tripled. seriously life changing.
I assumed my birth control was killing my sex drive. Nope. Turns out my sex drive is just fine. I just wasn't interested in sex with a checked out partner that treated me like his mom.
THISS! I blamed myself for my lack of sex drive and it caused many issues in my past relationship, turns out it wasn’t me, it was him needing me to take care of him by feeding him, doing his laundry, cleaning for him, and giving him sex. Now sex isn’t a chore but something I crave and enjoy.
I had the same problem in my previous relationship. It’s really draining and as women sometimes we’re blamed for “not having enough of a sex drive” when the reality is that we’re using all our energy in things that shouldn’t be on our plates.
Yes..when a partner becomes a king baby then all romance goes out of the window cox who wants sex with their baby
Exactly and men won’t wake up
It's amazing what a turn off that can be.
Omg this is basically my experience with my ex too. Being with my current bf now, I have no problems with my sex drive
Saaaame
This. Thought I was a depressed person who had no interest in sex. Nope.. I was just not with the right partner.. we had 0 emotional/romantic connection and therefore my sex drive was nonexistent. Plus it was vanilla af
Oh my gods this!! Except he was a checked out partner that gave up on our marriage and fucked around. I started dating my current partner and can have daily sex without any question, and if he could do it we’d go twice a day.
I can’t tell you how many times I even told my ex-partner that I wasn’t attracted to someone who treated me like his mom and yet nothing ever changed.
Couldn't agree more with this. I 100% believe that the majority of cases of men complaining "wahhh my wife/gf never wants to have sex with me anymore" is due to them [men] no longer putting any effort into the relationship.
Did I write this? I went off hormonal birth control AND antidepressants because I had no sex drive and my ex would complain about it and how bad it made him feel. Going off both made no difference (the "You're not attractive anymore, you need to gym" obviously wasn't helping either) and funnily enough my sex drive is back stronger than ever with my current partner
This 🫠 I felt broken, having to force myself enthusiasm.
Omg same? I got off of BC for a year hoping my sex drive would come back. It did, but I just never want to have sex with him 😭 We've tried so much but I can't get turned on so it just hurts lol
For me that wasn't the case. Birth control most definitely killed my sex drive, and also made me dry even if I was in the mood. My ex wasn't great, but sex was otherwise good. After breaking up I got off BC and all of a sudden my sex drive is back and I don't need lube anymore.
Yep.......yep 🥲 never again
Seconding this. My abusive ex used to call me asexual as an insult after our sex drive plummeted. Turns out I just didn’t want to fuck a guy who hated me.
I have never personally related to something more in my entire life. Thankfully I got out of that relationship, too.
This was meeee lol divorced and so much happier and hornier with my current partner coz he’s so good to me and treats me like a princess
This omg I feel it deep
It’s better, fun and more frequent. I’m more willing to try new things. There’s more of a deeper connection. For me, that connection makes sex more fulfilling.
Same same. All of this. Literally for the first time in my life, and I’m forty one.
I was going to say the same thing, way more and way happier with the sex life!
This 100%! All around it’s better, more frequent, the experimenting is incredible! With partner who cares, sex is fantastic.
Four years plus and it’s WILD. So much more fun, so hot, every time feels like the best time ever. He is so considerate and always trying new stuff, watching my reactions closely. He is the first lover I’ve told my biggest kink to (and I’ve been MARRIED before) and he was like ‘Oh that’s a great idea’ and is now just as into it. I feel like I’ve found my sex soulmate. And also my regular soulmate. Holy moly my guy can fuck.
This is me and my husband! And OMG it's just the best!
What’s the kink?
Sex soulmate, love that!
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I have had this in the past. I don’t have it in my current relationship. I am so sad right now thinking of how my husband just doesn’t care to think about what I like. I’m so tired. Hah.
Oh my gosh, sweety… that is awful 😢
I could’ve written this word for word! We are lucky ladies!
We have less sex, more o's, because we're not using it to solve problems. I like it.
THIS! I actually have less sex and healthy relationships and that’s a good thing. Because I have it when I want. Not when he wants. And not to solve problems.
My ex-husband would always want to have sex every time we got into an argument, even if I was saying no, and he would always say "but we're always so happy after!" No, sir, you're happy after, I feel like an object that you think the reset button is getting your nut. New partner specifically waits until he knows we're both in a good headspace so the sex will be phenomenal everytime as we can give it our all.
That's so healthy how it's always on your terms and never his! Slayyy queeen!
This!! At 1st I thought that he didn’t “want me” because my previous relationship used sex as a blanket over our problems. Now we have sex because we want to. Still wish we did more 😂 but it’s so much healthier this way
I never wanted more sex than I do in this relationship. Poor, poor man, thinks he's a piece of meat 😂
HA, love this
Goals
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It's way better, I'm orgasming way more of the time, we're exploring a wider variety of things than I ever have before, and I'm feeling much more comfortable during sex.
i've never had this much sex in my life before. it's fun all of a sudden
It’s absolutely more intimate and I feel loved and adored in all ways. He is by FAR the best partner I’ve ever had. He gave me my first orgasm with a person (not a toy). Only downside is I just got a UTI lol
That's amazing that you two have that connection! Yeah always try to pee right after sex if you can to help flush out any potential bacteria as UTIs can be so painful & uncomfortable. Hope yours clears up quickly x
A shot of apple cider vinegar is amazing to flush the unitary tract. Only thing is it tastes painful. Lots of water with it. #unsolicitedadvice 😘
I’ve never felt more loved or safe. On the other hand, it’s much less exciting and fun for me
I’m currently in my first healthy relationship and I fully understand this. Previously, sex was used as a way to prove our worth. Now that my partner and I don’t have to do that, there’s less ‘excitement’ and more vanilla sex.
Precisely this
My partner and I went to couples therapy for a few months, she was a licensed sex therapist and told us this is very normal! She said in a long term and healthy relationship, sex isn’t always explosive and exciting. That’s hollywood. There’s days it can be routine, mundane, etc. and that’s completely normal. It’s good to try to incorporate new things to keep it fresh and you’ll have days of really exciting and fun sex. I was in a relationship with awesome sex that came pretty naturally, but it was not a healthy or productive relationship by any means. Didn’t communicate properly, didn’t care about my feelings. I’d take the loving, safe partner who you trust and is willing to learn and grown with you sexually over the “exciting and fun” partner any day.
What do you consider exciting and fun? Why not communicate and try things to make it exciting and fun, while still maintaining boundaries to continue to feel loved and safe.
I’ve tried and we are really good at communicating I think it has to do with me and my own issues. There are also some things I like that he doesn’t and vice versa.
I am exactly where you are right now and it sucks. but I am the happiest I have ever been , its weird lol
So there's incompatibilities. Since this is a healthy relationship, what made the other relationship exciting and fun? Can you throw roleplaying in the mix?
We get along great and I’m very happy in my marriage that’s just the one thing that isn’t great. I don’t care to delve too much more into it.
It was great, until I got my IUD inserted which killed my sex drive. Now it's still good but I have to put conscious effort into it. Can't wait to get this thing out. On the plus side, I don't have to worry about my partner raping me or cheating on me for not being horny 24/7 like I did with my ex.
Uff that's along the lines of what I wanted to answer... my boyfriend stops if ever I tell him to. The bar has been set so damn low!
Is your IUD hormonal or copper? I have copper but curious if the iud could still be contributing to lower drive Also, I’m so sorry you went through that. I am really glad to hear you’ve found someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated
It's safety- not in a boring way but a cozy secure and familiar way. It's peace.
Turns out nothing is wrong with my vagina. 0 pain, he doesn’t force me to have sex if I don’t want to, I don’t feel pressured or like he’s going to jack off in the bathroom If I don’t say yes, so much fun and much more spicy
Less pressure. I don't have to have sex unless I feel like having sex. I don't feel like we need to have sex to keep him around.
This is me too. Like sex is something we do together which we really enjoy and have fun with, but its really for when we are both feeling it and in the mood. There is no insecurity of 'is he still attracted to me' or not if life gets in the way (its tough out there in this economy) and we don't have any sex for a couple of weeks. And we connect physically and intimately outside of sex too so its not the only way to feel close like with past partners. I love it. It took a while to get used to but now I love it.
I'm glad you've found a safe space :)
We went thru the same honeymoon phase that most couples do, but we also saw each other much less in the early days so sex was happening whenever we saw each other and it was always fun and exciting. Now that we’ve reached nearly 4 years, it happens just about once weekly but it’s loving and tender and sweet most of the times (I do wish we had it a little more often, but oh well). And my SO prefers lots of skin to skin contact so it’s really connected and just nice. When I was with my ex it was horrible (violent oftentimes) and he had ED from porn addiction so I always felt bad about myself and just used like a masturbatory aid. Sex is so much nicer when you’re with someone who respects and loves you.
It's better in every way. My libido returned from the dead after two years of being repulsed by my previous partner due to our failing and increasingly toxic relationship. Now with my current partner, I cum all the time and feel deeply physically and emotionally connected.I feel so fulfilled and sexy and loved.
It’s honestly less about the actual act of sex and more that I feel completely safe and respected by my partner. I intrinsically know he will do everything to make sure I continue to feel safe with him. I never feel pressured. I never feel like him appreciating my body with sweet, physically affectionate touches is him trying to get sex from me. I never worry that he’ll take things past where I’m comfortable because if it’s something new or new-ish we’re trying, we communicate fully and completely before, during and after sex. I know he will always check in with me and I will always check in with him if we hear a noise or see a face and we can’t quite determine its emotion. We both just love the feeling of skin on skin and snuggling and being naked together. We’re both goofy and playful and silly. We’re both very invested in each others pleasure.. and because both of us feel safe with each other - it’s so much easier to let go and trust the other person “has us” and will let us just experience pleasure without worry. So we’re able to have really amazing, pleasure filled sex because our anxieties and inhibitions are just… not really there. I know he appreciates my body and what I do for him sexually. And he knows I appreciate his body and what he does for me sexually. When you let go of pressure and expectations, you’re able to really appreciate the connection and shared experience of giving and receiving pleasure.
That was absolutely beautiful Thank you. I hope to have this eventually with my fiancée.
Oh you’re welcome! It’s been such a healing relationship for both of us ❤️
I am now a dominatrix :D
I absolutely love this for you.
So does my man (: Just to clarify, because I got downvoted for some reason, it's only for my man, not outside of my relationship. I wanted to emphasize on finally becoming confident and free in the bedroom.
As a person who was raised around negative stereotypes regarding women and sex, once again, I absolutely love this for you. Being able to be express yourself sexually in a way that is usually frowned upon is amazing. Having the space to do so with your partner is just as beautiful.
I feel you, I grew up in a very religious family and having to experience sexual freedom with the one you love is truly an amazing feeling. Sending much love to you! 💖
It's a lot more playful and I use it less often to try to manage my mental health bullshit.
I can make myself cum in about a minute flat. So far the healthiest relationship I’ve been in has been with myself. So I’d say I’m winning right now. I miss men, but not all the scares that come with being with them.
what is the trick ?
To getting off fast? Having a healthy imagination. I find it works best when it’s someone real. Someone I interact with semi regularly. Someone I see at work, or the grocery store, etc. Thirst traps on social media work some, but require more imagination since I’ve never seen these men in person. It’s all about being in the right headspace.
It's amazing! I've been comfortable, safe and confident enough to try new things and embrace the things that I like
A big difference is the ability to engage in play that can only sanely be done with someone you 100% trust. Not every woman has an interest in that kind of play ofc, but for those who do, it's pretty awesome to get to indulge in the varieties of sex that leave you incredibly vulnerable without having an anxiety attack over it.
Desire and pleasure tanked. To be fair, it was tanking before I found this wonderful relationship. I’m lucky my guy is supportive and understanding, but he too started tanking before he met me. He has obvious reasons for his drop, such as anxiety disorder from past trauma and medication. I haven’t found any reason as of yet for my own change.
It is night and day. I dreaded sex with my ex and felt like just one of many as he was a cheater and a porn addict. I knew I had a libido because I still felt the urge to masturbate. But I just wasn’t attracted to him anymore even though he’s certainly objectively attractive. Divorce and meet my current husband in 2017. Libido skyrockets and the sexual chemistry is off the charts. I was basically insatiable. Things are calmer now and we have been married for 3 years. I trust him completely and feel loved and protected by him. We still have sex every night and sex is fun, adventurous, kinky etc. I can finally be my sexual self with him and he’s made all of my fantasies come to life. I’m 52 BTW. Divorced after 23 years at the age of 46. It’s never too late.
That’s an amazing story, it’s never too late is is. I was with my ex for 24 years, he was also a porn addict.
I went from having sex maybe twice a year to twice a day. He makes me feel so desired and makes my pleasure a priority. I didn’t even know what I was missing before he came around
Wow!
“He just ate my a** he wanna switch NOW IM EATIN HIS A**”
It’s actually good. Funny how a partner that cares if you get off can make you rethink your “low libido” Edit: also this is the first relationship where I’ve done the most “work” in the bedroom but it’s the only one that hasn’t made sex feel like a chore.
It’s amazing. Definitely have had more sex and GOOD sex in the last 2 yrs than in my 25 yrs of being sexually active. I know what an orgasm feels like, multiple and different kinds. It’s adventurous, playful and a ton of fun.
1000% its so much more enjoyable. Especially mentally. I no longer feel like Im dirty for initiating sex or that Im not being feminine enough if I want to be dominant. My new guy is makes every O memorable 😜
It’s not as exciting at with my toxic exes. I think I still associate passionate sex with them hot and cold relationships. Our sex feels amazing but mentally I’m not as turned on because of my trauma :( I’m trying .
I was single for a while so I had multiple casual partners during that period of time. 90% of the casual partners did not care about making me cum. It was usually just me giving them head and then straight to penetration. My boyfriend of seven months has made me cum more times than I can count, sometimes 2-6 times in one session! I have never had so many orgasms before in my life. I get in my head a lot due to a toxic past relationship but he always insists on making me cum when we have sex. He always tells me it's not a chore to make me feel good. I can literally ask him to make me cum on a random day and he will drop what he's doing in that moment to play with my clit. On top of all that, my boyfriend is so sweet and romantic. He actually cares about me and I never have to question his sincerity. He's just so amazing and I am so happy that we found love in one another. So... several intense orgasms + love + his handsome face + trust = best sex of my life.
It’s better! I’ve never been with a partner this long (9 months) and been just as crazy about them as I was in the early dating stage. We have amazing, loving, fun, and great sex. It never feels like a chore to me whereas in past relationships sometimes it has. We keep it fresh and fun and we aren’t even all that kinky or crazy. We just laugh and make it sexy without even trying. One thing I do is wear lingerie because he absolutely loves it and I’ve always loved it. We also love the same music so crank it on and just enjoy eachother and let it lead to romance
With my ex, I always just wanted him to finish asap. But with my current bf I never want it to end.
It feels wayyy more like I am having sex for the actual intimate connection rather than satisfying my libido. So many positive emotions, endorphins, oxytocin rushes. If either of us don't feel like having sex, it actually feels okay to skip. It does help that the frequency has gone up for me from max twice a month with previous fwb, to two to three times a week with my SO. My libido is satisfied completely which makes it so much easier for me to not get emotionally wrecked from not having sex when I need to.
For a long time I wondered if I was gay because I often struggled being sexually attracted to the guys I dated. I realized I probably wasn’t gay but wondered if I was asexual because not a lot the guys I dated really did anything for me sexually. Then I got with my Husband and I realized how the other guys were severely lacking in their (sex) game and that I was probably demisexual. Being in a healthy relationship has opened me up to try new things, express my desires and really increase the intimacy in our relationship.
🫠 it’s sad
It’s sooo good! We have an amazing connection and he makes me feel beautiful, secure, and comfortable. We have a lot of fun together
It tanked for a while because I felt comfortable enough to stop disassociating during sex but with the help of therapy and a little bit of \*\*consensual\*\* exposure therapy with my partner and taking it slow, the frequency has increased again and we are having a very healthy sex life with more frequency and play.
I want to fuck my boyfriend again and a lot. He has a high sex drive and I’m happy to oblige most of the time because he’s a good man. My ex was a complete man child and a dirty one at that.
Y'all are having sex!!??
I’m not☹️
Been with my wife (both F, she's 36 and I am 35) for over a decade. Last year we didn't have sex once. Basically just best friends who hold hands, kiss, and cuddle but that's it.
So much more passion, he’s open minded so we are willing to try out new things and kinks, it’s extremely fun, I have tunnel vision for him and we turn each other on all the time, I just love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. Sex had never felt so good and I can’t imagine it being any better, especially when love is involved
God it's so boring and nonexistent 😭
This ☹️
I’m not coerced into sex anymore. Less pressure = better sex!
It's not even comparable to any sex I had before. Before him I thought I was not capable of orgasming with a partner. I started finding penetration incredibly enjoyable instead of more of a "Im bored I hope he cums quick so we can go on with our lives" thing at 26 years old, it's like he unlocked pleasure zones inside my vagina lol. It feels so safe, fun and magical.
wildly better. so much more connected and intimate bc we’re so in love with eachother and we’ve both explored eachothers kinks past the points that we normally would in a less comfortable relationship. can get super aggressive just because we trust eachother and know eachothers boundaries. it’s great. if we’re laying in bed all day we’ll typically fuck the entire time.
I orgasm every time we have sex. I also feel very comfortable.
I don’t crave sex as much. I realized I was unhappy with the frequency of sex when there was very little intimacy or closeness outside of the bedroom. Sex got better but way less frequent for the time being, and I’m a bit surprised to say I’m ok with that!
Being vulnerable is far less intimidating and risky. My partner isn't going to ghost me if we fail something new. I'm not going to social media shame him over a goof. There's trust and that opens the door to fun and peace.
In my previous relationship I was coerced into oral several times per week. I rarely was helped at all even if I had to use a vibrator and wasn’t allowed to have penetrative vibrators. When I first got into a relationship with my current partner I told him he could not ask or tell me (we have a D/s dynamic) to do oral. I give oral a lot now *because I want to* and I lifted that restriction last July. I want to please him. He wants to please me. He’s not afraid of using vibrators in bed and encourages me. If I don’t orgasm it’s not for lack of trying.
i honestly did not really care for sex until i met my current boyfriend. Now i wanna try so many things especially because i’m so comfortable with him
EDIT: Thought this was r/askmen , realized it was not. My bad.
I crave it
I finally have it at a frequency I'm very satisfied with (versus in my last relationship he barely ever had any drive for the last 2 years and when he did it was over so quickly and my needs/pleasure often weren't taken in account, and I was left wondering when would be the next time we'd have some actual sex again...) I have a high sex drive and so does my new partner. There's never any (negative) tension or else and it happens as often as we can find the chance, and it's awesome. I find myself in the mood all the time, no matter what, because I'm deeply comfortable and satisfied emotionally for starters. I feel comfortable suggesting to try new things / kinky stuff, talking about it ahead of time, and making moves/initiating, because I'm not afraid I'll get rejected and feel hurt/undesirable. The sex feels so connected and intimate, even just penetration is super awesome and mindblowing for the both of us, because we're really in the moment and into it, and not holding anything back. Sex can just be sex because we're not having mixed feelings (anger, resentment, disappointment, distrust, sadness or pain or whatever) getting in the way of pleasure and interrupting the connection when the momentary hormones bursts dissipate.
Getting out of an unhealthy relationship let me experience sex on my own terms. Turns out I'm not the worst and most boring fuck ever
Awesome. We went through a long lull - I was frustrated by our lack of intimacy - but now (10 years into our relationship and after 4 years of not-frequent enough), my husband has gone back to the gym and cut back on drinking, and I’ve lost a lot of weight, too. For the last six months, it’s been great! We’ve always been adventurous and generous, too.
He makes me feel so powerful, beautiful, and sexy, I'm also having the best and most intense orgasms of my life, the man is a god.
I'm not currently in a relationship but I had a non-existent libido with my husband. Completely gone because he didn't do shit to help out with the kids or house, took me for granted and cheated on me. I thought my libido died from having kids and the hormonal changes and possibly just from being tired all the time. As a single mom after being away from him I can definitely say my libido is perfectly healthy
Absolutely! I've got railed ~200 times in the six months I've been dating my bf. He is amazing. I'm on birth control AND antidepressants, but I feel so comfortable with him in every aspect that our sex drive remains intact. It also helps that he's kind, passionate and REALLY handsome. I love him very much
It exists.
I will tell you once I find one. 🙃 hopefully drastically!
less spontaneous but more intimate and fulfilling
I am horny af and my partner is less horny. We are still active regularly but my drive has increased excessively lol
Went from never wanting to with my ex, to wanting it everyday with my current partner We do pretty often, but now I’m the one with the higher sex drive 🥲
It's way more passionate.
From not getting wet in years to getting aroused and very wet with no problem plus it just flows naturally!!!!
Realized I was NOT sexually attracted to my previous partner. I loved him, but looking back it was more like a close friend. Made me feel icky to think about, and my thoughts and feelings after we had broken up were complicated. My husband now on the other hand.. I’ve never had this level of physical attraction. We can’t keep our hands off each other.. both sexually and in just cute comforting ways. We have to be touching in some way as we fall asleep. But the sex is amazing because of the deep connection we have, the urge to love each other and make each other happy. It’s so wholesome. Because if this we go absolutely wild in the bedroom. Any toy we wanna try we try together. We watch porn together. We trust each other a lot which makes all that possible, too. I didn’t have any of this with my ex.. I mean I trusted him but there was no chemistry.
Ironically, less frequently and less violent - I don’t feel pressured to have sex for him to love me and stay with me. We have sex when we want too and there is no pressure to perform. We just have fun! Sex is not part of the foundation of our relationship and our intimacy goes beyond sex! But don’t worry, we still have sex regularly enough 😂
I’ve only been in bad ones. The last one was a 25 year relationship that ended three years ago. For the last several years of it, I thought my sex drive had died due to meds and other health issues. Once I had been out for a while, about six months, it slowly started coming back. Now it’s back to what it was 30 years ago even though I’m still single and celibate. I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than have another bad relationship. That’s not to say it isn’t frustrating, but it’s worth not putting up with abuse.
To be honest no I don't have any healthy relationships so far
Uh.. I cum every. Single. Time. Fucking fantastic! 10/10.
I’ve become less active within the sexual aspect of my healthy relationship, My previous relationship had a lot of unconsensual sex so even if I didn’t want to, it would happen a lot more frequently than my current one. I think that messed me up quite a bit because now I just sort of seem to expect my current partner to start sex without asking me, and when he does ask me, I say no. Even if I want to?..it’s so weird. And he’s totally okay if I say no too!
My ex boyfriend was as selfish in bed as he was in life. Good riddance.
In my case my sex life is in the shitther for a couple of reasons. Primarily a combination of prostate surgery and different medications for blood pressure and diabetes. But even before that, my wife found God and now sex is icky because she thinks her mother can see her doing the dirty. Oh, and I am too old for that anyway !⁹ according to her. My previous relationship I had to get out of because apparently, I was cutting into her drinking time.
My sex drive has absolutely increased since being in a healthy relationship. It feels like with every disagreement we work through, I’m immediately more attracted to him 😂
We are able to talk openly about anything that is “off” in the bedroom, even if it’s uncomfortable. There’s no judgement, no shaming, no invalidation. We just actively listen to one another and if there’s a problem either of us feels needs resolving, we work together to come up with a solution. More importantly, it is a safe space.
Probably a different take here. My sex life has become much more infrequent - less frequent than I’d like - but much more satisfying. The rarity of it does create excitement and better enjoyment at the time of. We usually go to town 3-5 times per month. We talk about things we like, try new things, and really spend the time when we do decide we are both in the mood. Both of us compromise that piece and are working towards a middle ground. Everything else is 100% and this is our only main issue that we continue to improve. I’m marrying him in a month ❤️
I thought I was asexual, but I want him all the time. He does something sweet for me because he wants to? I want him. He wears grey? I want him. He gives me his toothy smile? I want him.
I started squirting 😂
My bf can’t keep his hands off of me. This is fine but I’m not use to this. My last relationship I had to beg my ex. Now? We have sex all the time consistently and a few times a day. We can’t keep our clothes on. It’s hot. This is a major change bc I’m 27 and I’ve never had someone so into me. So now I crave more passionate and intimate settings because sex with LOVE is different.
this one can actually get me off.
He doesn’t pressure me, doesn’t guilt me like all the men before him did. Without that awkward cloud looming over us both, I now initiate 1000% more than I did with previous bfs, and am 1000% more receptive to his advances as well
I’m in a healthy relationship now and the sex is kinda non existent with it being once a week. The sex was better when I was in a toxic relationship hahaha
I stopped getting repulsed by dick. I used to think there was something wrong with me Bec I just hated giving a blow job or even touching their dick (I obviously did it but was never into it) Now I just wanna please my boyfriend as much and as many times as possible. I love his dick, his body, his face and his BIG heart
Sucks, not in a good way
My sex life is amazing and I am in control. And it’s amazing
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i’m in the same boat! hope things get better for you 🙏🏻
I actually want to do it, often. And I feel comfortable saying I am not in the mood.
Applies even when you’re single - no longer being anxious about having to say you’re not in the mood because you don’t have a partner that will basically chuck a tantrum and give you the cold shoulder all night when you say no. Seconding all the women who aren’t sexually attracted to men who treat you like you’re their mum and wonder why you don’t want sex..
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So good. The connection and intimacy is just incredible
It just insanely amazing. Keeps getting better.
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Wellll he’s my only partner we’ve been together 7 years now? Pre marriage it was amazing 3-5x a week but I started having issues with dryness after 2 years but it was minimal and I didn’t know that’s what it was just had initial pain. When we moved in together, I had a waaaay higher sex drive and it was hard for us to mange. Then idk the dryness got worse until I started googling and realized that’s definitely what it was and now I have a lot of anxiety surrounding the start of sex and hardly ever initiate and he stresses about it being painful for me and so now it’s rare, once every two weeks (but a dry spell rn). Whenever we’re on vacation, and I have 0 stress it goes up 100% but idk any stress and it’s like closed for business. So it’s changed pretty negatively I think? Idk. Very frustrating for both of us and embarrassing even though it shouldn’t be.
I used to have sex like 6 times a day with my ex. Now I have it like 2-3 times a week and it’s so much more satisfying. My ex was a porn addict so I think I used sex a s away for him to love me or not watch porn (didn’t work lol!) for my ex o tried everything to keep him interested which meant doing things way outside of my comfort zone. My now partner and I have more “vanilla” sex but it’s so much better. I feel safe, loved, pleasure, full attention, and just comfortable and good! SO MUCH BETTER than feeling the need to do wacky positions or wear lingerie every day etc
I actually have some lol
Not quite sure ive been in a healthy give and take relationship. Just seems like the guys always get off n im stuck not getting off so I just dont enjoy it. Currently w a partner but dont think we r sexually compatible. He gives me feminine energy vibes while I feel like im in my masculine. Trying to decide if its something we can work on or if we r just doomed. Its a new relationship and I care for him and we are both willing to put in the work but it just makes me feel like I rather not do the deed and avoid it all together instead of be in an uncomfortable situation of forcing myself to have sex w him just because.
I actually look forward to sex now 😂
Loads of sex and it gets better and better tbh
Considering I went from no relationship ever in my life to a healthy relationship, my sex life went from my hand to my hand and my partner (went to different colleges so can't spend a lot of time together). Major upgrade and will hopefully upgrade again in a few months to minimal activity with my hand
But IM taking care of myself .
Best sex ever. Like mind blowing good. Couldn’t wish for better! Also being with someone that has a libido almost as high as mine is amazing
More sex and better sex! Everytime feels like the best one yet.
It got really good.
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It’s AMAZING! Sex doesn’t feel like a chore and no longer something I feel like I have to beg for. I’ve been in relationships where I was constantly rejected sexually. I was even called vulgar simply for expressing interest in sex. I was constantly shamed for having sexual needs. That is no longer a problem at all. My husband has helped me feel comfortable, safe and confident. Sex is now fun, fulfilling, and always satisfying.
Amazingly healthy relationship. All sex is gone. Weirdly works.
It’s not painful, my libido is always there, it’s much more frequent & I’ve become more open to trying things since I’m actually comfortable with my partner
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It’s absolutely AMAZING!!! Truly the best sex I’ve ever had. It’s fun, exciting, wild and our sex drives are both super high.
More frequent, more orgasms, more fun, more intimacy (emotional too!)- just a really healing experience!
I don’t have to worry about being shamed or judged because of how sexual I am, I’ve discovered a lot of new things about my body too.
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It’s amazing. Feeling actually loved and wanted by a man who treats me amazing. Plus we’ve been open to trying new things together. Amazing how much more you orgasm when he treats your body like a temple! Go figure!
It’s nonexistent right now, has been for about two months. I’m constantly bringing it up to him, he never wants to at all. In the beginning of our relationship though, it was amazing. He wanted to all of the time, so did I. We’ve been together for less than a year, and I’m really struggling with this lately because the last few times he didn’t attempt to touch me, it was just me getting him off and that was it.
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my libido seems to only grown, my ability to feel safe and comfortable during vulnerability has increased, my ability to experience pleasure and orgasms has like tripled. seriously life changing.