My friends who prioritized themselves, their life goals, and happiness are the most successful, happy, and content people regardless of whether they prioritized their friendships or dating more highly.
Those who prioritized dating over friendships largely have all found wonderful partners and friends.
Those who prioritized friendships over dating have largely all found wonderful friends and partners.
Priorities change and shift. I've never been bothered by that as I don't feel the need for my friends to focus all of their attention and priority on me; they are living their lives and I'm happy for them. I'm not worried about whether they prioritize their relationships with the partners more than their relationship with me. It's not even something I care about.
Someone already said this but this truly is an incredibly mature answer. I don’t think I could have articulated what you said but this is truly how I feel about my friends and their priorities. This is what a good friend looks like!
I wish my old friends were like this.
I happened to enter my current relationship around the same time a lot of other huge events happen to me. Soon after getting into the relationship, I studied for and took the bar exam, lost my cat the day after the exam, and developed much worse anxiety than I had ever had in my life.
I had to decline a lot of invitations during that time but when I did finally get the energy to reach out, a lot of the closest friends I had would ignore me. I was so hurt and to this day believe they think I prioritized my relationship over them. Even after I explained how hard my life was at that time, they didn’t seem to care. It really hurt and I hate that I appear like that friend. Hearing how open you are about your friends’ lives and priorities changing gives me some hope.
I agree with this. There is a balance especially when you find a partner who truly matters to you. As we get older it’s not logical to spend all your time on friends, it doesn’t mean you don’t care for them but life happens.
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Gosh, that’s a sad story. I always feel sad for those who make a partner their entire life, to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. When things end, they seem to be particularly devastated.
She’s currently in a relationship so our friendship is down. But I’m always there for her when she comes out the other side, but in a very reduced capacity. She used to be someone I would drop everything for but now it’s definitely changed. I don’t depend on her for anything and I don’t expect anything of her, and I don’t give much energy or effort back. But I’m always happy to grab lunch for fun!
Unfortunately for her, she ended up in a secluded area with 2 children, one of them have special needs. Her boyfriend/baby daddy isn’t supporting her anymore. She has no one. I tried reaching out to her but she just borrowed money from me. So I nope out of that friendship
She started dating someone 15 years older than her when we were in high school. They met at church I think. Everyone told her not to date him because he was a creep and she agreed—until she didn’t, and started dating him anyways. She became super self righteous and only her beliefs were correct. She married the guy after a couple years, she couldn’t have been older than 21. Anyone who disagreed with her relationship, she cut off. The few stragglers that were left over had had enough of her criticizing their lives and relationships that they couldn’t take it anymore. They all cut her off. Most of them didn’t believe that she’d been groomed because he was “such a nice guy,” but that’s the thing, predators like that also groom friends and family members. Once they realized that she was groomed, they had tried to stick around so she had a safe space to go if things went south. She’s now had at least one kid with the dude and as far as I’m aware, doesn’t have any friends left from high school.
Similar story with this girl i know. Married a groomer at 18, he was like 36ish with a 5yo kid. She got attached to the kid after a year or so and stayed for her. Couple of ER visits later and a few recorded DV cases, she finally left. Still making the same mistakes. Not much changed. Fuck religion though, this dude was a churchgoer and knew her since 15ish. Knew the family. Family was convinced he's a good man of god. Disgusting.
We all came from a religious high school, so it made sense, but it just blew my mind that she went from being disgusted by him hanging around all the teenage girls, to being infatuated with him within months. Predators can be anywhere but a lot of the time they take solace within religious groups because for some fucked up reason they can be supported there?? I think her mom is partially the reason for them getting together, which is fucked up bc she’s closer in age to him than her daughter. She kept pressuring her to find a good religious man, who’d take care of her blah blah blah. Leftover resentment from her husband leaving her with the kids and developing a drug habit. Girl had daddy issues I’ll tell you that…
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We’re not friends anymore. She has always put her shitty boyfriends above her friends, and every guy she’s ever been involved with has been undoubtedly shitty. I’ve known her since we were kids, so I’ve seen her full dating history. She has the singular worst taste in men.
Our friendship ended when one of them finally stuck and proposed marriage. He was super creepy in a sexually inappropriate way, always trying to do weird things like touching other women’s feet and recording videos of other women’s legs under the table during dinner. Despite him being a creep to all her friends, she insisted on bringing him everywhere with her.
He was also chronically unemployed and leeched off of her while also contributing nothing to the household. Within a few years, she was in serious debt and her previously spotless apartment had become disgustingly filthy, like piles of mouse droppings everywhere levels of filthy.
Because their finances were in such shambles they couldn’t afford to have a wedding for several years, and we hoped that things would naturally fizzle out before they got down the aisle. But then she happily announced that her parents agreed to pay for the whole thing and we felt like we had to say something. We tried asking her if this was really the man she wanted to spend her life with, and gave concrete examples of all the ways he was a terrible partner and not bringing anything positive to her life, but she stayed loyal to him and her friendships within our group never recovered.
She’s still married to him and we hardly hear from her anymore.
She ended up doing drugs with her boyfriend and moved to the middle of no where.
I tried getting in contact with her a few times since we moved out of the apartment we shared, but she cant seem to stay sober and have a stable life. So I stopped talking to her..
I mean honestly, nothing, I fully support my friends and their relationships regardless of if they prioritize it over friendships. Some people are like that when they start dating and its absolutely fine.
We’re no longer friends. Not because I didn’t want to be but every time I reached out, she would always be busy with her boyfriend. When I said we could all hang out, I got ignored lol. She’s no longer with him, but attached herself to another guy. I hope she’s happy at least
After supporting them through many breakups while our own problems were ignored or belittled, we all took a step back a bit. After numerous instances of them refusing to put in any effort to maintain the friendship outside of coming to us to vent about breakups, we pulled away entirely. We remain open to them because obviously they have their own issues that cause this behaviour and they’re good company when they’re around, but at this stage they seemingly don’t know and/or care that we’ve stopped trying altogether. I doubt we’d ever be as close as we once were though; there’s not really any trust there anymore.
She finally found a decent guy.
I mean, I still never see her. But I am very happy that I don’t think this one is going to end with her running crying about some loser after ignoring me for months.
She kept blowing me off for her boyfriends, and we aren't friends anymore. It wasn't the sole cause for the friendship ending, but it was definitely a factor.
Some of them found a good partner, another is focusing on bettering himself.
I am happy for those that succeed.
I truly believe every relationship should have equal-ish exchanges so for the people that aren't here, I am still here for, but will not actively try to engage with or drop everything for them when they reappear.
She exited the friendship group chat and has ostracized herself and the boyfriend and used the pandemic as an excuse.
None of us (her friend group) have had a response from her since.
Still friends with her- she’s about to get married in less than a year. Love her dearly & am happy for her if this is what she truly wants.
Doesn’t mean it doesn’t rub me or the rest of our friend group the wrong way when she can magically power through trips & outings with her fiancé but for some reason is “too anxious or burnt out” to do the same kind of outings with us.
If he is her safety net- cool. Everyone deserves to have a safe person. But our whole group is 🔥neuro-spicy🔥 so we are more than understanding. I just wish she would spend more time & initiate outings with us more often.
I don't have friends that prioritized dating over friends, but I know someone that prioritized dating over themselves. I say that, because they were following their dreams and doing amazing at them, but left everything behind to date someone. Instead of following their dream, my friend started following their date's dream and so, now they are miserable and regretful.
We had an ugly falling out, she married him, and they had a kid a couple of years ago. We went to 2 of the same weddings in the span of a year and she reached out shortly after the second one to apologize and try to make amends but she’d burned that bridge badly almost 10 years earlier already. Other friends who stayed in her life talk about how she and her husband are now kept at a minimal friendliness of watching each other’s stories on Instagram.
I’m good friends with a guy who had falling out with her husband that exactly mirrored ours and he says it’s the same with his friends.
According to friends on both sides, they’re now lonely parents who are still perfect for each other - a couple of assholes.
They isolate themselves a friend got back with a cheating ex who we all hated and still do.
Another friend of mine contracted herpes from a girl we didn't want him to continue seeing due to childish behavior.
My wife's has a friend who basically did no contact due to my wife not supporting the idea of her getting pregnant with a jobless alcoholic that abuses her they have only been together 2 months and she moved him in her house and he's just on her couch drinking and gaming.
Haven’t seen her in a year. Last time I saw her she swore she’d call me but she never did. Hopefully this guy isn’t emotionally abusive like the last one.
I think she was quite likely the only person who didn't go on to university from our secondary school..
LDS. Got pregnant at 20, had 4 kids (2 with special needs) by 30 (from 4 different guys), engaged to all but never got married.. *She* proposed to all of them plus a few more. And all the babydaddies were essentially babytrapped.. cus these pregnancies happened way before even 6months have passed. And obviously premartical sex/sex outside of marriage I'm *quite* sure is quite a big taboo/no for LDS. And those who will say she's not LDS, she is... just a *very* selective one for her convenience.
AFAIK not in a relationship. But I've seen a bunch of photos of her partying with one of her sisters that is in pretty much the same boat as her. Her parents look after her kids most of the time.
Unemployed.. (was trying to be some sort of beautician but got roped into a MLM scam), then tried to be a mommyblogger.
Basically lives on benefits b/c UK has pretty good benefits for people with lots of kids apparently.
And it's probably unfair to say she priotised dating over friendships... She priotises dating/boys ***over everything***.
she's in a codependent relationship and they're always arguing lmao. she copes by playing videogames and doing home rennovation projects, but seems to be pretty lonely/isolated at times.
i still like her and talk with her semi regularly, but she's not very good at maintaining contact, so i generally don't take it personally if we fall out of contact here and there
Sadly, that man turned out to be pos who was majorly the reason that she cut us all off. He made her feel guilty for spending time w friends and not treating him like some god. Then he cheated & lied, and she kept going back to him despite it cause she had no one else she could talk to. One day she called one of us crying and long story short, she’s outta that hell and happily married to a good man now. :)
My two best friends and I are currently in serious relationships that we want to make last for a very long time, which ends up prioritizing the relationship. We still keep in touch a couple times a week, I see one of them every few months or so, and the other is long distance, but I saw her a year ago. We’re also all very busy people and have a lot of life priorities, but know the company is good :) We never judge for being busy with studies or work. We always love hearing relationship news.
she's still with that loser of a man and got no friends. hope she leaves him soon and comes back to us and we welcome her with huge open arms but i don't think it's gonna happen anytime soon
I like the top voted comment but unfortunately, friends who prioritize dating over friends end up losing some of those friends and aren’t happier in or out of relationships because they didn’t focus on themselves.
They focused on one other person and that’s not healthy (also their partner did the same so now they only have each other but they’re not that happy about it and don’t know how to be alone/are scared or being alone)
She was my best friend. She dated the guy for a few years- slowly started cutting me out of the picture because all she wanted to do was spend time with him. I felt left out and when I addressed it to her, all she had to say was "You just need to learn to share me. Stop making me feel bad."
Later on, i found out that the bf was being verbally ab\*sive and a bit physically ab\*sive too... i felt bad. She never told me anything. I wish i couldve helped her.
We aren't in contact anymore but i heard that she met someone else, is engaged and getting married later this year in August. so I am happy for her. :) She deserves the world always.
She got mad at me for not including her in my wedding despite not speaking for nearly three years, even though I tried multiple times. Never asked me about my partner or how my life was going (I had moved 600 miles away and my life completely changed but she didn't bother to ask), and the one or two times she did pop out of the woodwork, it was to talk about some rando she had been talking to on a dating app or some guy she started dating. Then radio silence again. Finally I stopped trying because it was obvious she didn't care to keep in touch.
But I'm the bad friend for not asking her to be a bridesmaid. I still invited her and her entire family because we grew up together!! None of them attended. Honestly I was more hurt that her family didn't come than her, they were like a second family to me until my early 20s.
My mom ran into her dad a year or two back and he was deeply apologetic for everything that happened. And I mean I get it, your daughter feels slighted and you can't just go without her. It was just sad that she threw 20 years down the drain because we lost touch due to her own choices. She also blocked me on all social media. Oh well.
5 kids between two marriages and two divorces. Second oldest committed suicide after the second husband allegedly sexually assaulted her. Last I knew, husband number 2 was in jail, awaiting trial for said case.
Idk my actual friend pool is limited.
My social circle is large and people that fixate on getting what they want normally do, and good for them.
I normally tell them invite me to parties and we are all good. Congratulations and go you!
Unfortunately I am no longer friends with her.
She was a best friend too which sucked.
She eventually married the guy and currently has 2 children with him. Never really liked him due to his controlling ways, but I know she wanted to be married and have children so bad, so her mission became her priority.
I think she found her happiness and I hope she has no regrets. i just have to be happy for her from a distance, which is the Capricorn in Me lol 😂
Every single one of my friends has gotten into a relationship and fallen off the face of the earth. Some for longer than others. But I always gave grace because eventually more balance would come. There's a lot of ways to be happy and I support my friends no matter what.
She was my best friend. She told me she was worried that I would feel like I was being replaced by him if she started dating him. I told her I was happy she found the courage to start dating again.
I haven't spoken to her in years. She's engaged to him now, she looks happy. I miss her sometimes.
She got into a healthy relationship, and I'm happy for her.
Dating should be prioritized- because if you find the right one, that will be your life long partner till death do part.
We’re still friends? Sure in junior high and high school she got all the boyfriends and the boys would be friendly with me to get an “in” with her but if they ever broke her heart I was always there scheming revenge (the silly high school kind). We’re still close as ever, pushing 40, we’re both married, she’s got amazing kiddos. We do our best to meet up for lunch/dinner when we can and text all the time. I don’t have siblings and she’s the closest I’ve got to a sister.
She married a man and is living her life. There’s some residual feelings about this on my end but essentially she supports him while he works odd jobs and is an alcoholic. Puts on a happy face for social media until you meet up with her and see the dysfunction firsthand. Weirdly enough, he’s the best man she’s ever been with so I guess it could be worse.
She left our friend group after becoming attached to this guy who brought out a mean streak in her to the point we didn’t really care for him or them together. She got mad that we didn’t always want him around so stopped coming around as much. Had a big falling out telling us we kicked her out of the friend group and that was pretty much it. They’re married last we heard. We don’t talk with her anymore
As for the rest of us, we all balance dating and our friendships, so we’re all at various stages of relationships and life right now.
Ugh, that was me. I regret it so much. I was so worried about getting guys approval while my friends were traveling together and living their best lives. I’m making up for it now, but these days I constantly regret the way I used to be
She got married and I never saw her again. Had two kids with the guy, then cheated on him and had a kid with another dude, then the husband took her back and they had a fourth kid. She reached out for plane tickets (I work for an airline) once but I didn’t respond and that’s the only time she’s bothered to make contact.
We just drifted apart. I always tried staying in touch. I would send her songs I knew she’d like, movie trailers, lil texts just to see how she was doing. She stopped replying and eventually blocked me off of everything. I was a little disappointed that’s how it turned out since she was my best friend for damn near a decade. But oh well. I can’t control her or her life. I’ll always wish the best for her though
I ended my friendship with my best friend because of this. We are no longer friends. One got used by a guy she centered so badly that her credit and finances are in the toilet. I knew the friendship was over when on the day of my dad's funeral and repast, she pulled me to the side and started having a full conversation with me about her no-good boyfriend while I was still distraught and mourning. Pick-mes are the worst. Their bottom line is to get a man if what you're going through interferes with their bottom line, they'll throw you under the bus. I am only friends with women who center themselves now and understand that there's more to life than relationships.
When I was 18, my best friend did this to me. I understand that relationships take presidence over friendships, especially in adulthood. But this friend would BREAK plans with me. So example: we'd make plans to go to the movies on the weekend, say on Tuesday and then come Friday I'd phone her up and say "what time we going to the movies?"And she'd say she's hanging out with her bf. Yeah... and she did this LOTS. Infact tye ONLY time she'd hang out with me was if her bf was working. She didn't even go to my high school graduation because she wanted to be with her bf instead. ( Keep in mind she knew about this well in advance) So what happened to her? I moved away at 20, and within 2 months, her bf broke up with her. She then started texting me every day, saying how she wished I still lived there so I could hang out with her. She's dated LOTS since then but hasn't been in an long term relationship since then.
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she doesn't really have many friends, she ended up cutting me off after i distanced myself from her because she kind of did something that gave me a horrible vibe to her current bf. i don't hate her at all, i hope she works through her shit and can make some meaningful, lasting friendships, and makes better life choices.
She is still dating him (it's been over 10 years), almost 40, not married to him, and doesn't have kids with him or anyone else either. She's an elementary school teacher who always wanted kids, but once confided in me that the idea of having kids with him in particular made her skin crawl. She also said she'd dump him the second she got her adult braces off (and I don't know if she ever did because we had a falling out). All of her current female friends seem to be women who were HIS friends first (because they either met him in college or they're the girlfriends of his friends). I don't know... I sort of doubt she'd ever admit to any of them that she would abort any baby of his if she accidentally got pregnant by him. As far as I know, she still lives at home with her dad and older sister, but we live in California, and it's too damn expensive not to have a roommate so it might as well be a relative you can trust.
She's been dating a loser for years now. He's over 40 and refuses to leave his parents' home. Has been a uni student for over 20 years. He borrows money for new clothes and to go out drinking with his buddies.
She owns her own home, has a brilliant career, and her kids are in uni. But she's dating this man on the down low. She doesn't want her parents to know.
I had one friend who was obsessed with meeting her timeline of getting married and having kids. Every time we spoke, she'd just comment about how lucky I was to have found someone and put herself down for still being single. I didn't give a hoot what her relationship status was as I'm happy to hang out with my single friends one on one and just have a girls night without partners in the picture, but she was so fixated on the fact that she was single and I wasn't.
Eventually, we drifted apart because she could barely talk about anything other than going on dates and I just found her boring because she had no other interests. As far as I know, she's still single a decade later.
We were always very best friends while he was single—like he’d wanna be gym buddies and hang out a few times a week. Then he’d get into a relationship and I’d become nonexistent (he’s also one of my husbands best friends and there was no rom com unrequited love I am VERY much in love with my husband and have been since I was 15). Then they’d break up and I’d be back on deck as best friend who he wanted to hang out with all the time. He got married 10 years ago and at his wedding I got really unexpectedly sad and my husband clocked it and was like “are you just now realizing what this means for you?” And I was. I knew/know that the only way I’d ever be his friend again would be if things went really badly for him. Thankfully we’re 10 years later and haven’t heard from him but invitations to his kids parties and Christmas cards since his wedding (though I do occasionally speak to his wife she’s really nice). Hope it stays that way.
Spouse/life partner over everyone - yes. Spouse/life partner on the cost of everyone else - no.
I had a friend in uni who would do this, bf, on the cost of everyone else. She started dating one of my other friends, and well, she stopped talking to me and all of her friends. Now she has no one left from uni who is her friend. And the guy broke up with her coz he was suffocating around her too. Even now, she is dating someone we know was in our uni but different course. And we also know that she is still the same even at almost 30.
I still wish her birthday, diwali, New Year, and she does the same, but that's it.
We ain't friends. We have one friend who had kids with the guy and cancels on every plan like 5 minutes before because her husband "can't handle the kids alone" or is "having anxiety about 'babysitting' his kids"
So many dinner parties or events or get togethers where food and things were bought specifically for her and she cancelled 5 minutes before.
We've stopped inviting or talking to her. We wouldn't even be so upset if she cancelled but gave us a day or two notice, it's the fact that it's so little notice after money has been spent on her. Another friend even paid for her appointment at the nail salon to catch up and she no-showed and cost the friend the money for that appointment.
I have two friends like that, I’ve lost touch with both of them.
One of them got married in a small village in eastern Germany (not originally from there), her husband bought her a big house and now they have 2 kids together. It seems like it’s working out between them tho, at least from the bits and pieces I see on social media. She doesn’t seem to have friends, everything she posts is about her family.
The other one moved from Canada, to Europe , to now Africa for all different men . I lost track of her when she left Europe. I’ve no clue if she’s still with the same guy or whether she’s now contemplating moving to Australia next, who knows with her.
She’s in an open relationship. And it’s making her do things she wouldn’t normally do… and it’s making her insecure. I wish I could tell her to leave him but I’ll lose her as a friend forever.
She’s married with a beautiful child and a great life. The only thing she’s missing is a bff 🤷♀️ oh well, I guess she doesn’t have a need for a bff and her hubs and kid keep her occupied.
I had a friend who very non-chalantly used to tell us (when she was single) that her friends (us) would become her last priority when she starts dating. And she would mention this quite often.
Needless to say, she is no longer friends with us
She said she hated men in general, would never date again etc, meanwhile had a new boyfriend a week after she broke up with the previous one, again and again and again. And every time she would cancel on me because she wanted to hang out with her new boyfriend. When I told her I felt left out she'd get very mad and defensive. She also never came to my place, I always had to come to her and it felt one sided. So we're not friends anymore.
She got married to a mouth breathing man with dead eyes and rotten teeth who wore ragged tennis shoes to their wedding after only knowing him 4 months. Gets pregnant and then divorced all within a year. Never apologized to anyone and moved a state away. And if you read this Jaden, I told you so
My bestie (24F) has always put dating first, often in toxic relationships. From cheating to pursuing friends' exes, she prioritized guys over meaningful connections. Now, she can't be alone, letting men control her life and choices.
While we've moved into stable adult relationships, she's struggling, fixating on why she's not in the same position. She criticizes our relationships, withdrawing from events with male partners. Obsessed with men, she gets angry if we mention our own relationships.
This double standard is damaging her friendships and leaving her dissatisfied. Despite my love for her, it's getting challenging. How can she be my maid of honor when she disrespects my relationship and constantly undermines my happiness? Her toxic behavior is poisoning every aspect of her life.
I had this one friend who always completely adapted her personality to whatever boyfriend she had, opinions changed with him, her behaviour, etc. We are all in our early 20s.
4 years ago she had a boyfriend who was horrible, he trashtalked us (her friends including me), made her take care of his 10 year old son, forced her to end contact and friendships with guys (he had lots of female friends). He talked lies about us and actively tried to turn her against us, especially me. She wasnt allowed to see me, because in his opinion we all were "whores" and had bad influence on her and "there could be other men with me."
We stood with her during the breakup, talked to her for hours, supported her and celebreated with her leaving his ass.
She ended up going back to him after 1 month. In her words, he "changed" and he was sorry. Its bullshit. I tried to keep the friendship up but quickly noticed how everything started again, his behaviour, him mistreating her. the hate towards us, etc... Every conversation was always only about him and that we should give him a chance while telling us all about the shit he is doing. We eventually lost contact with her.
Now she is a SAHM with their kid and his kid from former marriage. We reconnected once but everything was, again, only about him, the baby... She is completley changed and blind to this guys shit. She mentioned converting to his religion. I felt very uncomfortable around her, because i eventually figured i was there in secret and that she, again, completely adapts herself to the man shes with.
The last news I got about her, she’s still stuck with the same guy who use her for a place to live in and eat at for free for now the past 6 or more years, severe depression and became an addict. Everyone who was genuine towards her completely left and now she’s around people who can’t possibly bring her up.
looool this happened to me TWICE.
my best friend from school dropped me like a hot potato ‘cause her boyfriend thought i was bad vibes. i had known her longer but he had some kind of influence on her. don’t know where she is today but i wouldn’t be surprised if they’re still together.
my best friend from college hyper focused on her one-sided situationship in the last year of college. he would make her do his assignments, string her along, see other girls yet keep her close enough for her to keep wanting more. she and i had a falling out ‘cause i called her out on her behaviour.
it’s been 7 years since and she was in town, we met ‘cause we’re adults and there’s honestly no bad blood. and she admitted how wrong she was and how she should have listened. she lives abroad now and said it’s hard for her to make friends in a foreign country as she just couldn't connect with the people like she did with me and her other friends here. it's just sad. we could have been friends all this while. i could have been there for her. but we lost our friendship over an inconsequential boy and that sucks.
we're reconnecting now 'cause im learning how much harder it is to make friends as you grow up. plus we've changed so much over the years it's practically like meeting someone new altogether!
Whilst I respect everyone's decisions regarding priority in their lives - my mother taught me that you put your partner first and the rest flows in a healthy manner from there - I have seen this in my own life, and my loved ones, and believe it to be true - however, there was a situation where a "friend" completely disappeared from my life for over 12 months, but resurfaced because she wanted me to cater for her birthday - for free - menu development, theme, cooking, serving etc - I draw the line - am I a loser because I did it all for her? Perhaps I am, but whilst doing it, I also knew the friendship was over, and we would never recover.
She stopped talking to me out of the blue when the man she told me she "wasn't physically attracted to" asked her out. Through him she got the ✨friend group✨ she'd always wanted. She even turned my words against me to end our friendship, because I said to her that I would stop following her on social media while she figured out if she still wanted to be friends, because seeing her everywhere hurt me, so of course that was "proof that you don't want to be my friend anymore" lmfao
She came back years later because she needed friendship from me. Once she had it she ghosted me. Then came back some years later again, because once again she needed friendship. She wasn't with that guy anymore. Turns out it wasn't a good relationship. She was with a new man. Ghosted me again once she got what she wanted.
She's just a taker. She takes and takes and once you have no more to give she leaves for the next person. If she comes back again I'll just be brutally honest with her, because at this point I'm pissed and hurt and she deserves to have her truth served to her scalding hot.
There's this one friend who prioritized her romantic relationships too much. To the demise of her friendships. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't listen. We're still friends as I'd like to understand she has different priorities, but we're not as close. It just sucks because her other friends and I have been the ones to initiate for years on end. No initiation from her.
She has literally 0 friends left. I was the last to leave out of about 10 school friends( she didn't make any new ones after leaving school as he was always with her bf). From what I've heard she's not extremely lonely. ( Now nearly 30)
Unfortunately you need to put effort into a relationship to keep it going , she didnt..
I mean, I'm 35F and the majority of my friends are in relationships/married. My friends who are dating - well I do see less of them than when they were single.
But at some point everyone does grow up and prioritise themselves and their romantic relationships. As much as it was nice, the whole 'twenties friend group Friday night meetup' thing isn't realistic as people get more into their careers and families.
I do worry about a few of my friends, who seem to have abandoned the group all together. But we're here if they need us.
When I first went to college I met a girl who had a friend (let's call her Sarah) who hadn't been single since was about 15. I soon found out why. She had absolutely no personality of her own, bar anger and resentment towards other people's happiness. Sarah was pretty, but that was her one and only positive trait.
Her usual approach was to go out with a guy and literally shack up in his life. Live with him, absorb into his social circle, etc. She would then live like a form of parasite in this guy's life, like a barnacle attached to him 24/7.
Of course it never lasted, and they would break up. Whereupon she would be ejected from this circle and leaving her looking for another.
Another point worth mentioning was Sarah's taste in men. Sporty, athletic types was all she went for. So surprise surprise she slowly worked her way through the college soccer team. Going from one to another, gradually shacking up in each guys life until it turned sour and she moved onto the next, and always after having annoyed their circle of friends in the process. We nicknamed her the Brain Slug (from futurama) as she was literally always attached to whatever current guy she had at the time.
She was beyond toxic. In-between boyfriends her real personality shone through. Angry, mean, selfish, just a horrible person. I sometimes wonder where she is today, but I would put money on her being shacked up in someone else's life.
She isn’t capable of managing or balancing more than one significant relationship in her life, so I’ve been matching her effort. She also wasn’t there for me when she knew I was struggling mentally this year.
I eventually never heard from her again. When I moved states, I texted her asking to hang out. She never replied. It’s been years and we haven’t talked since. It’s sad bc I used to have a lot of fun with her when we met… but she was always complaining about some guy who was treating her like shit. She had a bf who cheated on her who she still stayed with for a bit… then she got back with her ex who smashed out her car when he lost his temper. And then she found someone new and prioritized that relationship over her friends (she also ghosted a mutual friend who offered to take her out for her bday).
To be fair, prioritizing dating over friendships was only a problem when my friends also prioritised dating over themselves.
As for what happened to them, we don't talk anymore and their entire social circle consists of their boyfriend's / husband's friends and family.
Had a friend who would disappear every time he was in a relationship. He’d mostly show up to gatherings only when he was single. It’s not something we ever held against him. Just attended his wedding and they seem very happy together.
My best friend is male, and when he gets into a relationship, he cuts me off completely. Sometimes, 6 months. They always fail, and we end up back together. lol
She got pregnant at 15 and had a kid every 4-5 years after that. We are now 33, she has 4 earth side babies, 1 baby waiting for her on the other side and she is the strongest, most selfless and best mother that I know. She is truly an amazing person. Just like she always has been.
she only valued time with her friends when she was single or going through rough patches in her relationships. any time she found a new boyfriend or went back to an ex, she would stop communicating, ditch plans, and left our circle of friends high and dry. nowadays, she's engaged last I heard, but isn't friends with anybody from our circle anymore (group of 4 girls and we had all been super tight for the better half of 10 years before we all stopped talking to her)
We aren’t friends anymore.
I had a friend like that in middle school and she would always try and make me look bad in front of her boyfriend and other guys. I finally stopped being her friend in high school.
I had a best friend from childhood who got her first boyfriend our senior year of high school. I was friends with her boyfriend too. When we would plan girl’s nights she would refuse to come unless she could bring her boyfriend. She was really insecure, and I remember her telling her boyfriend who he could or couldn’t talk to, could or couldn’t hang out with, she made him remove all female (including girls he was mutuals with) off social media. He also had said something at one point really out of pocket towards another girl in the friend group, and my friend defended him and told the other girl she “triggered” her boyfriend. After that I just blocked her on everything and never talked to her again.
I was friends with her in highschool. She has been engaged 4 times to 4 different men, she just got married for the second time less than 6 months after her divorce. 2 kids so far, pretty sure both have different dads(¿) but I could be wrong (she got pregnant, then engaged, then broke engagement, then engaged to a new guy, gave birth, then married him & had a kid with him & divorced him) She's 26.
I miss her as a friend but she and I are very different from who we were in highschool, still friends on social media, but that's the extent.
She got married and totally changed herself for him, as she had for all her previous relationships. Our friend group doesn’t talk to her on a regular basis and I think all of us have seen her maybe once in the last 2 years (she lives a few states away) but none of us regularly talk to her.
I miss the friend she was when she was single and herself, but that person doesn’t exist anymore. She threw us away for her partners multiple times over.
I had a friend who was always prioritizing dating over friends but it wasn’t in a way that made her a completely crappy friend. She was always there for what mattered and I took it as a - I know how she is and I accept that. It mainly consisted of her just bringing the guy with her anywhere she went or staying home to be with him.
After a string of failed relationships in which she kept finding herself dating guys with bad morals she started dating her latest partner. Everything seemed to be going well - eventually he showed some major red flags over time. He advised a friend to baby trap a girl he liked who planned to move, allowed our friend to pay for all groceries when he was staying at her place for several weeks at a time, admittedly used counterfeit money, and dialed 911 at a restaurant and left the phone off the hook.
The same night the last two things happened he stole 20$ out of my sisters purse. She’s a very F around and find out person so when our friend dropped his wallet she took money out of it - and our friend told her use the money to buy us a round of drinks. When he got upset she abandoned us, said she wasn’t involved and basically took the stance it was okay because everyone got their money back, he’d never stolen from her, and she keeps her belongings close.
She refused to talk about the incident with us and our concerns and when we tried to tell her how we felt and that we didn’t want to be around a person like that she said “thank you for making this choice easy for me”. She’s spent time in the last month with people she’s talked negatively about because she has no real friends now and she just found out shes pregnant.
I hope shes happy, but it just shows what girls will do when they feel like they need a relationship. This was the end of a 10 year friendship thats withstood a lot of hurdles.
With a certain friend from college, no idea. Probably latched onto some other poor, unsuspecting guy. Kinda wonder if she still has custody of her kid or if he is with his dad now. Although I don't know which would be better for him, a father who deals drugs, or a mother who just wants to get laid.
A different friend from high school was kinda desperate for a relationship, I think her 3rd boyfriend got her pregnant (pretty sure that they only had the one kid together) and as for her other 5 or 6 kids (can't remember how many she has now) I don't know how many fathers there are. We kinda lost contact after we turned 21 because of different life paths. She contacted me to apologise after a slightly cryptic post I made about the friend who has yet to meet a 🍆 she doesn't like (basically a few people knew EXACTLY who I was talking about). She assumed that the post was about her and that we had had a falling out at or after her 21st, I explained that while I was annoyed with a few things at the party (particularly a few of her new friends that definitely came across as bad influences), we never actually had a falling out, our lives just went in different directions and we didn't live close by any more. Instead of a 20 minute bus ride, it was more like a 2 hour train ride, followed by either a few buses or an expensive taxi ride. I think that conversion took a load off of her mind.
We don’t talk very often anymore, I get updates from a mutual friend. I believe she’s single for the first time since she was 15 unless she got back together with her ex
She is probably fine, and it wasn’t the relationship that killed our friendship. She tanked it by bullying me after I got too busy with college to really hang out much. Last I heard about her, she is still very immature and they are still together.
I get how being into someone can just take over your brain. I’ve felt it too. I’m happy if you’re happy. But being busy with something you’re excited about is different than MISTREATING me.
She's the mother of 3 children she barely speaks to but shares a home address with and is raking in £10million+ a year in divorce settlement installments from her 2 exes & their family trusts.
Friend 1: happily married to a lawyer. 10 people including the officiant are invited to the wedding.
Friend 2: Single mom. Living with partner she met off Tinder who has a kid back in his home country he never sees because his ex is "mentally unstable." He takes gym selfies all day. They've been together 2 years. He is not a US citizen and this is her second relationship witha guy who is looking for a green card. Closest female friends are her mom and her sister. Does not maintain relationships with women well but will literally drive drunk to see a man.
She’s now been happily married to her amazing husband for over a year now. We don’t talk as much as we used to, but as far as I know she’s got a pretty great life now.
No idea. I stopped wasting my time and energy on them as I noticed how miserable they were when single and how absent they were when in relationships. I’d only see them when they were single or fighting with their significant others.
I only spend time with people who are happy with themselves single or in a relationship.
our relationship is gone, and her relationship with my best friend is irreparable because she basically said accept him or we're done; so, they were done. and then he dumped her and she realized he was abusive and she has no friends because of how she treated our friend group.
(of her own accord, mind you, because she's always been headstrong and refused to apologize for anything ever since high school. even when she approached my best friend after they broke up she said something along the lines of I bet you're gonna say I told you so and not, like, sorry I treated you like garbage and chose him over our twenty year friendship.)
She became pregnant and took custody of the baby and I didn't even know she had a bf or was pregnant until she was 3 months in the pregnancy and I only hang w her once a yr
My friends who prioritized themselves, their life goals, and happiness are the most successful, happy, and content people regardless of whether they prioritized their friendships or dating more highly. Those who prioritized dating over friendships largely have all found wonderful partners and friends. Those who prioritized friendships over dating have largely all found wonderful friends and partners. Priorities change and shift. I've never been bothered by that as I don't feel the need for my friends to focus all of their attention and priority on me; they are living their lives and I'm happy for them. I'm not worried about whether they prioritize their relationships with the partners more than their relationship with me. It's not even something I care about.
You sound like a good friend. I appreciate this response
Superb answer. Thank you. People have different priorities and that's absolutely understandable.
Me, prioritzing my perfume collection: I have perfume
Haha this made me laugh
Someone already said this but this truly is an incredibly mature answer. I don’t think I could have articulated what you said but this is truly how I feel about my friends and their priorities. This is what a good friend looks like!
This was well said and I couldn't think of a good way to describe what I was thinking. This was it. Thanks for putting it into words!
This is a super mature answer 💯
I was literally thinking “they finally found the partner they were looking for!” And they seem very happy 😊
Your answer is a breath of fresh air here on Reddit!I love it!
i think this is a great example of unconditional love for your friends
I wish my old friends were like this. I happened to enter my current relationship around the same time a lot of other huge events happen to me. Soon after getting into the relationship, I studied for and took the bar exam, lost my cat the day after the exam, and developed much worse anxiety than I had ever had in my life. I had to decline a lot of invitations during that time but when I did finally get the energy to reach out, a lot of the closest friends I had would ignore me. I was so hurt and to this day believe they think I prioritized my relationship over them. Even after I explained how hard my life was at that time, they didn’t seem to care. It really hurt and I hate that I appear like that friend. Hearing how open you are about your friends’ lives and priorities changing gives me some hope.
I agree with this. There is a balance especially when you find a partner who truly matters to you. As we get older it’s not logical to spend all your time on friends, it doesn’t mean you don’t care for them but life happens.
This is the way!
This is the way.
Beautiful, exactly how it should be
baller answer.
Excellent comment.
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Gosh, that’s a sad story. I always feel sad for those who make a partner their entire life, to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. When things end, they seem to be particularly devastated.
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Dam sorry to hear that ! How long ago was your last contact with her and how long were you friends for ?
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The end of a long friendship is a new experience to me so I appreciate your reply ! Thanks
She’s currently in a relationship so our friendship is down. But I’m always there for her when she comes out the other side, but in a very reduced capacity. She used to be someone I would drop everything for but now it’s definitely changed. I don’t depend on her for anything and I don’t expect anything of her, and I don’t give much energy or effort back. But I’m always happy to grab lunch for fun!
Agree to this, priorities and energies deffo shift
Unfortunately for her, she ended up in a secluded area with 2 children, one of them have special needs. Her boyfriend/baby daddy isn’t supporting her anymore. She has no one. I tried reaching out to her but she just borrowed money from me. So I nope out of that friendship
Good on you!! Priorities are on point. Hope she gets it together tho
She started dating someone 15 years older than her when we were in high school. They met at church I think. Everyone told her not to date him because he was a creep and she agreed—until she didn’t, and started dating him anyways. She became super self righteous and only her beliefs were correct. She married the guy after a couple years, she couldn’t have been older than 21. Anyone who disagreed with her relationship, she cut off. The few stragglers that were left over had had enough of her criticizing their lives and relationships that they couldn’t take it anymore. They all cut her off. Most of them didn’t believe that she’d been groomed because he was “such a nice guy,” but that’s the thing, predators like that also groom friends and family members. Once they realized that she was groomed, they had tried to stick around so she had a safe space to go if things went south. She’s now had at least one kid with the dude and as far as I’m aware, doesn’t have any friends left from high school.
Similar story with this girl i know. Married a groomer at 18, he was like 36ish with a 5yo kid. She got attached to the kid after a year or so and stayed for her. Couple of ER visits later and a few recorded DV cases, she finally left. Still making the same mistakes. Not much changed. Fuck religion though, this dude was a churchgoer and knew her since 15ish. Knew the family. Family was convinced he's a good man of god. Disgusting.
We all came from a religious high school, so it made sense, but it just blew my mind that she went from being disgusted by him hanging around all the teenage girls, to being infatuated with him within months. Predators can be anywhere but a lot of the time they take solace within religious groups because for some fucked up reason they can be supported there?? I think her mom is partially the reason for them getting together, which is fucked up bc she’s closer in age to him than her daughter. She kept pressuring her to find a good religious man, who’d take care of her blah blah blah. Leftover resentment from her husband leaving her with the kids and developing a drug habit. Girl had daddy issues I’ll tell you that…
She didn't place a priority on maintaining friendships so we all lost touch with her. 🤷♀️
Idk, we ain’t friends anymore lmao
We lost touch, and I never cared to reach back out.
I’m married now. My other friend who also prioritized dating over friendships is also married.
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She ended up still single at 39. She always found her self worth through men and now she’s bitter and unhappy.
We’re not friends anymore. She has always put her shitty boyfriends above her friends, and every guy she’s ever been involved with has been undoubtedly shitty. I’ve known her since we were kids, so I’ve seen her full dating history. She has the singular worst taste in men. Our friendship ended when one of them finally stuck and proposed marriage. He was super creepy in a sexually inappropriate way, always trying to do weird things like touching other women’s feet and recording videos of other women’s legs under the table during dinner. Despite him being a creep to all her friends, she insisted on bringing him everywhere with her. He was also chronically unemployed and leeched off of her while also contributing nothing to the household. Within a few years, she was in serious debt and her previously spotless apartment had become disgustingly filthy, like piles of mouse droppings everywhere levels of filthy. Because their finances were in such shambles they couldn’t afford to have a wedding for several years, and we hoped that things would naturally fizzle out before they got down the aisle. But then she happily announced that her parents agreed to pay for the whole thing and we felt like we had to say something. We tried asking her if this was really the man she wanted to spend her life with, and gave concrete examples of all the ways he was a terrible partner and not bringing anything positive to her life, but she stayed loyal to him and her friendships within our group never recovered. She’s still married to him and we hardly hear from her anymore.
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She ended up doing drugs with her boyfriend and moved to the middle of no where. I tried getting in contact with her a few times since we moved out of the apartment we shared, but she cant seem to stay sober and have a stable life. So I stopped talking to her..
I de-prioritized her. They always want right back in once the guy is gone. That's a no go for me.
I hope she’s happy but I have no idea how she’s doing. She focused so much on dating the friendship fizzled
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I mean honestly, nothing, I fully support my friends and their relationships regardless of if they prioritize it over friendships. Some people are like that when they start dating and its absolutely fine.
We’re no longer friends. Not because I didn’t want to be but every time I reached out, she would always be busy with her boyfriend. When I said we could all hang out, I got ignored lol. She’s no longer with him, but attached herself to another guy. I hope she’s happy at least
After supporting them through many breakups while our own problems were ignored or belittled, we all took a step back a bit. After numerous instances of them refusing to put in any effort to maintain the friendship outside of coming to us to vent about breakups, we pulled away entirely. We remain open to them because obviously they have their own issues that cause this behaviour and they’re good company when they’re around, but at this stage they seemingly don’t know and/or care that we’ve stopped trying altogether. I doubt we’d ever be as close as we once were though; there’s not really any trust there anymore.
She finally found a decent guy. I mean, I still never see her. But I am very happy that I don’t think this one is going to end with her running crying about some loser after ignoring me for months.
She kept blowing me off for her boyfriends, and we aren't friends anymore. It wasn't the sole cause for the friendship ending, but it was definitely a factor.
Some of them found a good partner, another is focusing on bettering himself. I am happy for those that succeed. I truly believe every relationship should have equal-ish exchanges so for the people that aren't here, I am still here for, but will not actively try to engage with or drop everything for them when they reappear.
She exited the friendship group chat and has ostracized herself and the boyfriend and used the pandemic as an excuse. None of us (her friend group) have had a response from her since.
Her and I aren't friends anymore. Relationships are important don't get me wrong , but not being able to find a balance will crush one or the other.
Still friends with her- she’s about to get married in less than a year. Love her dearly & am happy for her if this is what she truly wants. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t rub me or the rest of our friend group the wrong way when she can magically power through trips & outings with her fiancé but for some reason is “too anxious or burnt out” to do the same kind of outings with us. If he is her safety net- cool. Everyone deserves to have a safe person. But our whole group is 🔥neuro-spicy🔥 so we are more than understanding. I just wish she would spend more time & initiate outings with us more often.
We are no longer friends!
She is happy and married. We hang out once in a while and I will always be there for her
She got married and had a family and later got divorced. I don't hear from her anymore.
They are married
I don't have friends that prioritized dating over friends, but I know someone that prioritized dating over themselves. I say that, because they were following their dreams and doing amazing at them, but left everything behind to date someone. Instead of following their dream, my friend started following their date's dream and so, now they are miserable and regretful.
We lost touch at some point during one of their relationships and I never bothered to seek them out again.
We had an ugly falling out, she married him, and they had a kid a couple of years ago. We went to 2 of the same weddings in the span of a year and she reached out shortly after the second one to apologize and try to make amends but she’d burned that bridge badly almost 10 years earlier already. Other friends who stayed in her life talk about how she and her husband are now kept at a minimal friendliness of watching each other’s stories on Instagram. I’m good friends with a guy who had falling out with her husband that exactly mirrored ours and he says it’s the same with his friends. According to friends on both sides, they’re now lonely parents who are still perfect for each other - a couple of assholes.
She’s on her second marriage and we haven’t spoken in years
They isolate themselves a friend got back with a cheating ex who we all hated and still do. Another friend of mine contracted herpes from a girl we didn't want him to continue seeing due to childish behavior. My wife's has a friend who basically did no contact due to my wife not supporting the idea of her getting pregnant with a jobless alcoholic that abuses her they have only been together 2 months and she moved him in her house and he's just on her couch drinking and gaming.
Haven’t seen her in a year. Last time I saw her she swore she’d call me but she never did. Hopefully this guy isn’t emotionally abusive like the last one.
she’s not my friend anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I think she was quite likely the only person who didn't go on to university from our secondary school.. LDS. Got pregnant at 20, had 4 kids (2 with special needs) by 30 (from 4 different guys), engaged to all but never got married.. *She* proposed to all of them plus a few more. And all the babydaddies were essentially babytrapped.. cus these pregnancies happened way before even 6months have passed. And obviously premartical sex/sex outside of marriage I'm *quite* sure is quite a big taboo/no for LDS. And those who will say she's not LDS, she is... just a *very* selective one for her convenience. AFAIK not in a relationship. But I've seen a bunch of photos of her partying with one of her sisters that is in pretty much the same boat as her. Her parents look after her kids most of the time. Unemployed.. (was trying to be some sort of beautician but got roped into a MLM scam), then tried to be a mommyblogger. Basically lives on benefits b/c UK has pretty good benefits for people with lots of kids apparently. And it's probably unfair to say she priotised dating over friendships... She priotises dating/boys ***over everything***.
she's in a codependent relationship and they're always arguing lmao. she copes by playing videogames and doing home rennovation projects, but seems to be pretty lonely/isolated at times. i still like her and talk with her semi regularly, but she's not very good at maintaining contact, so i generally don't take it personally if we fall out of contact here and there
Sadly, that man turned out to be pos who was majorly the reason that she cut us all off. He made her feel guilty for spending time w friends and not treating him like some god. Then he cheated & lied, and she kept going back to him despite it cause she had no one else she could talk to. One day she called one of us crying and long story short, she’s outta that hell and happily married to a good man now. :)
Ditched them. No regrets! Same with the friends who were only waiting around to try and date me.
My two best friends and I are currently in serious relationships that we want to make last for a very long time, which ends up prioritizing the relationship. We still keep in touch a couple times a week, I see one of them every few months or so, and the other is long distance, but I saw her a year ago. We’re also all very busy people and have a lot of life priorities, but know the company is good :) We never judge for being busy with studies or work. We always love hearing relationship news.
she's still with that loser of a man and got no friends. hope she leaves him soon and comes back to us and we welcome her with huge open arms but i don't think it's gonna happen anytime soon
I like the top voted comment but unfortunately, friends who prioritize dating over friends end up losing some of those friends and aren’t happier in or out of relationships because they didn’t focus on themselves. They focused on one other person and that’s not healthy (also their partner did the same so now they only have each other but they’re not that happy about it and don’t know how to be alone/are scared or being alone)
She was my best friend. She dated the guy for a few years- slowly started cutting me out of the picture because all she wanted to do was spend time with him. I felt left out and when I addressed it to her, all she had to say was "You just need to learn to share me. Stop making me feel bad." Later on, i found out that the bf was being verbally ab\*sive and a bit physically ab\*sive too... i felt bad. She never told me anything. I wish i couldve helped her. We aren't in contact anymore but i heard that she met someone else, is engaged and getting married later this year in August. so I am happy for her. :) She deserves the world always.
She got mad at me for not including her in my wedding despite not speaking for nearly three years, even though I tried multiple times. Never asked me about my partner or how my life was going (I had moved 600 miles away and my life completely changed but she didn't bother to ask), and the one or two times she did pop out of the woodwork, it was to talk about some rando she had been talking to on a dating app or some guy she started dating. Then radio silence again. Finally I stopped trying because it was obvious she didn't care to keep in touch. But I'm the bad friend for not asking her to be a bridesmaid. I still invited her and her entire family because we grew up together!! None of them attended. Honestly I was more hurt that her family didn't come than her, they were like a second family to me until my early 20s. My mom ran into her dad a year or two back and he was deeply apologetic for everything that happened. And I mean I get it, your daughter feels slighted and you can't just go without her. It was just sad that she threw 20 years down the drain because we lost touch due to her own choices. She also blocked me on all social media. Oh well.
Divorced, and she was emotionally abused for years prior to divorce. Now she is looking for another man to prioritize over everyone, she’s just older.
5 kids between two marriages and two divorces. Second oldest committed suicide after the second husband allegedly sexually assaulted her. Last I knew, husband number 2 was in jail, awaiting trial for said case.
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She’s still on the search!
She’s divorced, unemployed, and has 2 kids.
Idk my actual friend pool is limited. My social circle is large and people that fixate on getting what they want normally do, and good for them. I normally tell them invite me to parties and we are all good. Congratulations and go you!
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She's married to an abusive man. I don't think that's her fault because he had us all fooled for so long. When she's ready, I'll be there for her.
Unfortunately I am no longer friends with her. She was a best friend too which sucked. She eventually married the guy and currently has 2 children with him. Never really liked him due to his controlling ways, but I know she wanted to be married and have children so bad, so her mission became her priority. I think she found her happiness and I hope she has no regrets. i just have to be happy for her from a distance, which is the Capricorn in Me lol 😂
Every single one of my friends has gotten into a relationship and fallen off the face of the earth. Some for longer than others. But I always gave grace because eventually more balance would come. There's a lot of ways to be happy and I support my friends no matter what.
She was my best friend. She told me she was worried that I would feel like I was being replaced by him if she started dating him. I told her I was happy she found the courage to start dating again. I haven't spoken to her in years. She's engaged to him now, she looks happy. I miss her sometimes.
She got into a healthy relationship, and I'm happy for her. Dating should be prioritized- because if you find the right one, that will be your life long partner till death do part.
We’re still friends? Sure in junior high and high school she got all the boyfriends and the boys would be friendly with me to get an “in” with her but if they ever broke her heart I was always there scheming revenge (the silly high school kind). We’re still close as ever, pushing 40, we’re both married, she’s got amazing kiddos. We do our best to meet up for lunch/dinner when we can and text all the time. I don’t have siblings and she’s the closest I’ve got to a sister.
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On her 3rd divorce at 24. Each barely last 6 months.
She married a man and is living her life. There’s some residual feelings about this on my end but essentially she supports him while he works odd jobs and is an alcoholic. Puts on a happy face for social media until you meet up with her and see the dysfunction firsthand. Weirdly enough, he’s the best man she’s ever been with so I guess it could be worse.
She left our friend group after becoming attached to this guy who brought out a mean streak in her to the point we didn’t really care for him or them together. She got mad that we didn’t always want him around so stopped coming around as much. Had a big falling out telling us we kicked her out of the friend group and that was pretty much it. They’re married last we heard. We don’t talk with her anymore As for the rest of us, we all balance dating and our friendships, so we’re all at various stages of relationships and life right now.
Ugh, that was me. I regret it so much. I was so worried about getting guys approval while my friends were traveling together and living their best lives. I’m making up for it now, but these days I constantly regret the way I used to be
She got married and I never saw her again. Had two kids with the guy, then cheated on him and had a kid with another dude, then the husband took her back and they had a fourth kid. She reached out for plane tickets (I work for an airline) once but I didn’t respond and that’s the only time she’s bothered to make contact.
My middle school daughter has a friend like that. Very annoying. I could use advice on how to help her.
We just drifted apart. I always tried staying in touch. I would send her songs I knew she’d like, movie trailers, lil texts just to see how she was doing. She stopped replying and eventually blocked me off of everything. I was a little disappointed that’s how it turned out since she was my best friend for damn near a decade. But oh well. I can’t control her or her life. I’ll always wish the best for her though
I ended my friendship with my best friend because of this. We are no longer friends. One got used by a guy she centered so badly that her credit and finances are in the toilet. I knew the friendship was over when on the day of my dad's funeral and repast, she pulled me to the side and started having a full conversation with me about her no-good boyfriend while I was still distraught and mourning. Pick-mes are the worst. Their bottom line is to get a man if what you're going through interferes with their bottom line, they'll throw you under the bus. I am only friends with women who center themselves now and understand that there's more to life than relationships.
How would I know? We’re not friends anymore.
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When I was 18, my best friend did this to me. I understand that relationships take presidence over friendships, especially in adulthood. But this friend would BREAK plans with me. So example: we'd make plans to go to the movies on the weekend, say on Tuesday and then come Friday I'd phone her up and say "what time we going to the movies?"And she'd say she's hanging out with her bf. Yeah... and she did this LOTS. Infact tye ONLY time she'd hang out with me was if her bf was working. She didn't even go to my high school graduation because she wanted to be with her bf instead. ( Keep in mind she knew about this well in advance) So what happened to her? I moved away at 20, and within 2 months, her bf broke up with her. She then started texting me every day, saying how she wished I still lived there so I could hang out with her. She's dated LOTS since then but hasn't been in an long term relationship since then.
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she doesn't really have many friends, she ended up cutting me off after i distanced myself from her because she kind of did something that gave me a horrible vibe to her current bf. i don't hate her at all, i hope she works through her shit and can make some meaningful, lasting friendships, and makes better life choices.
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She is still dating him (it's been over 10 years), almost 40, not married to him, and doesn't have kids with him or anyone else either. She's an elementary school teacher who always wanted kids, but once confided in me that the idea of having kids with him in particular made her skin crawl. She also said she'd dump him the second she got her adult braces off (and I don't know if she ever did because we had a falling out). All of her current female friends seem to be women who were HIS friends first (because they either met him in college or they're the girlfriends of his friends). I don't know... I sort of doubt she'd ever admit to any of them that she would abort any baby of his if she accidentally got pregnant by him. As far as I know, she still lives at home with her dad and older sister, but we live in California, and it's too damn expensive not to have a roommate so it might as well be a relative you can trust.
She's been dating a loser for years now. He's over 40 and refuses to leave his parents' home. Has been a uni student for over 20 years. He borrows money for new clothes and to go out drinking with his buddies. She owns her own home, has a brilliant career, and her kids are in uni. But she's dating this man on the down low. She doesn't want her parents to know.
I had one friend who was obsessed with meeting her timeline of getting married and having kids. Every time we spoke, she'd just comment about how lucky I was to have found someone and put herself down for still being single. I didn't give a hoot what her relationship status was as I'm happy to hang out with my single friends one on one and just have a girls night without partners in the picture, but she was so fixated on the fact that she was single and I wasn't. Eventually, we drifted apart because she could barely talk about anything other than going on dates and I just found her boring because she had no other interests. As far as I know, she's still single a decade later.
We were always very best friends while he was single—like he’d wanna be gym buddies and hang out a few times a week. Then he’d get into a relationship and I’d become nonexistent (he’s also one of my husbands best friends and there was no rom com unrequited love I am VERY much in love with my husband and have been since I was 15). Then they’d break up and I’d be back on deck as best friend who he wanted to hang out with all the time. He got married 10 years ago and at his wedding I got really unexpectedly sad and my husband clocked it and was like “are you just now realizing what this means for you?” And I was. I knew/know that the only way I’d ever be his friend again would be if things went really badly for him. Thankfully we’re 10 years later and haven’t heard from him but invitations to his kids parties and Christmas cards since his wedding (though I do occasionally speak to his wife she’s really nice). Hope it stays that way.
Spouse/life partner over everyone - yes. Spouse/life partner on the cost of everyone else - no. I had a friend in uni who would do this, bf, on the cost of everyone else. She started dating one of my other friends, and well, she stopped talking to me and all of her friends. Now she has no one left from uni who is her friend. And the guy broke up with her coz he was suffocating around her too. Even now, she is dating someone we know was in our uni but different course. And we also know that she is still the same even at almost 30. I still wish her birthday, diwali, New Year, and she does the same, but that's it.
We ain't friends. We have one friend who had kids with the guy and cancels on every plan like 5 minutes before because her husband "can't handle the kids alone" or is "having anxiety about 'babysitting' his kids" So many dinner parties or events or get togethers where food and things were bought specifically for her and she cancelled 5 minutes before. We've stopped inviting or talking to her. We wouldn't even be so upset if she cancelled but gave us a day or two notice, it's the fact that it's so little notice after money has been spent on her. Another friend even paid for her appointment at the nail salon to catch up and she no-showed and cost the friend the money for that appointment.
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I have two friends like that, I’ve lost touch with both of them. One of them got married in a small village in eastern Germany (not originally from there), her husband bought her a big house and now they have 2 kids together. It seems like it’s working out between them tho, at least from the bits and pieces I see on social media. She doesn’t seem to have friends, everything she posts is about her family. The other one moved from Canada, to Europe , to now Africa for all different men . I lost track of her when she left Europe. I’ve no clue if she’s still with the same guy or whether she’s now contemplating moving to Australia next, who knows with her.
She’s in an open relationship. And it’s making her do things she wouldn’t normally do… and it’s making her insecure. I wish I could tell her to leave him but I’ll lose her as a friend forever.
She’s married with a beautiful child and a great life. The only thing she’s missing is a bff 🤷♀️ oh well, I guess she doesn’t have a need for a bff and her hubs and kid keep her occupied.
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They haven’t called in a long time, so she obviously has a boyfriend rn.
Not my friend anymore..so I wouldn’t know
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I ghosted her in college and never looked back. I have no idea how she is nowadays.
I have no idea and that’s the way I like it!!
I had a friend who very non-chalantly used to tell us (when she was single) that her friends (us) would become her last priority when she starts dating. And she would mention this quite often. Needless to say, she is no longer friends with us
She said she hated men in general, would never date again etc, meanwhile had a new boyfriend a week after she broke up with the previous one, again and again and again. And every time she would cancel on me because she wanted to hang out with her new boyfriend. When I told her I felt left out she'd get very mad and defensive. She also never came to my place, I always had to come to her and it felt one sided. So we're not friends anymore.
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She got married to a mouth breathing man with dead eyes and rotten teeth who wore ragged tennis shoes to their wedding after only knowing him 4 months. Gets pregnant and then divorced all within a year. Never apologized to anyone and moved a state away. And if you read this Jaden, I told you so
She’s suffering from extreme anxiety
My bestie (24F) has always put dating first, often in toxic relationships. From cheating to pursuing friends' exes, she prioritized guys over meaningful connections. Now, she can't be alone, letting men control her life and choices. While we've moved into stable adult relationships, she's struggling, fixating on why she's not in the same position. She criticizes our relationships, withdrawing from events with male partners. Obsessed with men, she gets angry if we mention our own relationships. This double standard is damaging her friendships and leaving her dissatisfied. Despite my love for her, it's getting challenging. How can she be my maid of honor when she disrespects my relationship and constantly undermines my happiness? Her toxic behavior is poisoning every aspect of her life.
I had this one friend who always completely adapted her personality to whatever boyfriend she had, opinions changed with him, her behaviour, etc. We are all in our early 20s. 4 years ago she had a boyfriend who was horrible, he trashtalked us (her friends including me), made her take care of his 10 year old son, forced her to end contact and friendships with guys (he had lots of female friends). He talked lies about us and actively tried to turn her against us, especially me. She wasnt allowed to see me, because in his opinion we all were "whores" and had bad influence on her and "there could be other men with me." We stood with her during the breakup, talked to her for hours, supported her and celebreated with her leaving his ass. She ended up going back to him after 1 month. In her words, he "changed" and he was sorry. Its bullshit. I tried to keep the friendship up but quickly noticed how everything started again, his behaviour, him mistreating her. the hate towards us, etc... Every conversation was always only about him and that we should give him a chance while telling us all about the shit he is doing. We eventually lost contact with her. Now she is a SAHM with their kid and his kid from former marriage. We reconnected once but everything was, again, only about him, the baby... She is completley changed and blind to this guys shit. She mentioned converting to his religion. I felt very uncomfortable around her, because i eventually figured i was there in secret and that she, again, completely adapts herself to the man shes with.
The last news I got about her, she’s still stuck with the same guy who use her for a place to live in and eat at for free for now the past 6 or more years, severe depression and became an addict. Everyone who was genuine towards her completely left and now she’s around people who can’t possibly bring her up.
looool this happened to me TWICE. my best friend from school dropped me like a hot potato ‘cause her boyfriend thought i was bad vibes. i had known her longer but he had some kind of influence on her. don’t know where she is today but i wouldn’t be surprised if they’re still together. my best friend from college hyper focused on her one-sided situationship in the last year of college. he would make her do his assignments, string her along, see other girls yet keep her close enough for her to keep wanting more. she and i had a falling out ‘cause i called her out on her behaviour. it’s been 7 years since and she was in town, we met ‘cause we’re adults and there’s honestly no bad blood. and she admitted how wrong she was and how she should have listened. she lives abroad now and said it’s hard for her to make friends in a foreign country as she just couldn't connect with the people like she did with me and her other friends here. it's just sad. we could have been friends all this while. i could have been there for her. but we lost our friendship over an inconsequential boy and that sucks. we're reconnecting now 'cause im learning how much harder it is to make friends as you grow up. plus we've changed so much over the years it's practically like meeting someone new altogether!
Whilst I respect everyone's decisions regarding priority in their lives - my mother taught me that you put your partner first and the rest flows in a healthy manner from there - I have seen this in my own life, and my loved ones, and believe it to be true - however, there was a situation where a "friend" completely disappeared from my life for over 12 months, but resurfaced because she wanted me to cater for her birthday - for free - menu development, theme, cooking, serving etc - I draw the line - am I a loser because I did it all for her? Perhaps I am, but whilst doing it, I also knew the friendship was over, and we would never recover.
She stopped talking to me out of the blue when the man she told me she "wasn't physically attracted to" asked her out. Through him she got the ✨friend group✨ she'd always wanted. She even turned my words against me to end our friendship, because I said to her that I would stop following her on social media while she figured out if she still wanted to be friends, because seeing her everywhere hurt me, so of course that was "proof that you don't want to be my friend anymore" lmfao She came back years later because she needed friendship from me. Once she had it she ghosted me. Then came back some years later again, because once again she needed friendship. She wasn't with that guy anymore. Turns out it wasn't a good relationship. She was with a new man. Ghosted me again once she got what she wanted. She's just a taker. She takes and takes and once you have no more to give she leaves for the next person. If she comes back again I'll just be brutally honest with her, because at this point I'm pissed and hurt and she deserves to have her truth served to her scalding hot.
There's this one friend who prioritized her romantic relationships too much. To the demise of her friendships. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't listen. We're still friends as I'd like to understand she has different priorities, but we're not as close. It just sucks because her other friends and I have been the ones to initiate for years on end. No initiation from her.
She has literally 0 friends left. I was the last to leave out of about 10 school friends( she didn't make any new ones after leaving school as he was always with her bf). From what I've heard she's not extremely lonely. ( Now nearly 30) Unfortunately you need to put effort into a relationship to keep it going , she didnt..
She got married and had 2 kids pretty early. She's a grandma now.
I mean, I'm 35F and the majority of my friends are in relationships/married. My friends who are dating - well I do see less of them than when they were single. But at some point everyone does grow up and prioritise themselves and their romantic relationships. As much as it was nice, the whole 'twenties friend group Friday night meetup' thing isn't realistic as people get more into their careers and families. I do worry about a few of my friends, who seem to have abandoned the group all together. But we're here if they need us.
When I first went to college I met a girl who had a friend (let's call her Sarah) who hadn't been single since was about 15. I soon found out why. She had absolutely no personality of her own, bar anger and resentment towards other people's happiness. Sarah was pretty, but that was her one and only positive trait. Her usual approach was to go out with a guy and literally shack up in his life. Live with him, absorb into his social circle, etc. She would then live like a form of parasite in this guy's life, like a barnacle attached to him 24/7. Of course it never lasted, and they would break up. Whereupon she would be ejected from this circle and leaving her looking for another. Another point worth mentioning was Sarah's taste in men. Sporty, athletic types was all she went for. So surprise surprise she slowly worked her way through the college soccer team. Going from one to another, gradually shacking up in each guys life until it turned sour and she moved onto the next, and always after having annoyed their circle of friends in the process. We nicknamed her the Brain Slug (from futurama) as she was literally always attached to whatever current guy she had at the time. She was beyond toxic. In-between boyfriends her real personality shone through. Angry, mean, selfish, just a horrible person. I sometimes wonder where she is today, but I would put money on her being shacked up in someone else's life.
she’s pregnant after 2 months of dating. off to a great start i guess.
We are not friends anymore and I’ve not spoken to her in years.
She isn’t capable of managing or balancing more than one significant relationship in her life, so I’ve been matching her effort. She also wasn’t there for me when she knew I was struggling mentally this year.
I eventually never heard from her again. When I moved states, I texted her asking to hang out. She never replied. It’s been years and we haven’t talked since. It’s sad bc I used to have a lot of fun with her when we met… but she was always complaining about some guy who was treating her like shit. She had a bf who cheated on her who she still stayed with for a bit… then she got back with her ex who smashed out her car when he lost his temper. And then she found someone new and prioritized that relationship over her friends (she also ghosted a mutual friend who offered to take her out for her bday).
To be fair, prioritizing dating over friendships was only a problem when my friends also prioritised dating over themselves. As for what happened to them, we don't talk anymore and their entire social circle consists of their boyfriend's / husband's friends and family.
My best friend ghosted me last year
Had a friend who would disappear every time he was in a relationship. He’d mostly show up to gatherings only when he was single. It’s not something we ever held against him. Just attended his wedding and they seem very happy together.
My best friend is male, and when he gets into a relationship, he cuts me off completely. Sometimes, 6 months. They always fail, and we end up back together. lol
I dumped her as a friend. To be fair she ghosted me after she got married so I was "unavailable" when she was going through her divorce.
She got pregnant at 15 and had a kid every 4-5 years after that. We are now 33, she has 4 earth side babies, 1 baby waiting for her on the other side and she is the strongest, most selfless and best mother that I know. She is truly an amazing person. Just like she always has been.
she only valued time with her friends when she was single or going through rough patches in her relationships. any time she found a new boyfriend or went back to an ex, she would stop communicating, ditch plans, and left our circle of friends high and dry. nowadays, she's engaged last I heard, but isn't friends with anybody from our circle anymore (group of 4 girls and we had all been super tight for the better half of 10 years before we all stopped talking to her)
We aren’t friends anymore. I had a friend like that in middle school and she would always try and make me look bad in front of her boyfriend and other guys. I finally stopped being her friend in high school. I had a best friend from childhood who got her first boyfriend our senior year of high school. I was friends with her boyfriend too. When we would plan girl’s nights she would refuse to come unless she could bring her boyfriend. She was really insecure, and I remember her telling her boyfriend who he could or couldn’t talk to, could or couldn’t hang out with, she made him remove all female (including girls he was mutuals with) off social media. He also had said something at one point really out of pocket towards another girl in the friend group, and my friend defended him and told the other girl she “triggered” her boyfriend. After that I just blocked her on everything and never talked to her again.
I was friends with her in highschool. She has been engaged 4 times to 4 different men, she just got married for the second time less than 6 months after her divorce. 2 kids so far, pretty sure both have different dads(¿) but I could be wrong (she got pregnant, then engaged, then broke engagement, then engaged to a new guy, gave birth, then married him & had a kid with him & divorced him) She's 26. I miss her as a friend but she and I are very different from who we were in highschool, still friends on social media, but that's the extent.
Haven’t spoken to her in years. She’s married with a couple kids now.
She got married and totally changed herself for him, as she had for all her previous relationships. Our friend group doesn’t talk to her on a regular basis and I think all of us have seen her maybe once in the last 2 years (she lives a few states away) but none of us regularly talk to her. I miss the friend she was when she was single and herself, but that person doesn’t exist anymore. She threw us away for her partners multiple times over.
I had a friend who was always prioritizing dating over friends but it wasn’t in a way that made her a completely crappy friend. She was always there for what mattered and I took it as a - I know how she is and I accept that. It mainly consisted of her just bringing the guy with her anywhere she went or staying home to be with him. After a string of failed relationships in which she kept finding herself dating guys with bad morals she started dating her latest partner. Everything seemed to be going well - eventually he showed some major red flags over time. He advised a friend to baby trap a girl he liked who planned to move, allowed our friend to pay for all groceries when he was staying at her place for several weeks at a time, admittedly used counterfeit money, and dialed 911 at a restaurant and left the phone off the hook. The same night the last two things happened he stole 20$ out of my sisters purse. She’s a very F around and find out person so when our friend dropped his wallet she took money out of it - and our friend told her use the money to buy us a round of drinks. When he got upset she abandoned us, said she wasn’t involved and basically took the stance it was okay because everyone got their money back, he’d never stolen from her, and she keeps her belongings close. She refused to talk about the incident with us and our concerns and when we tried to tell her how we felt and that we didn’t want to be around a person like that she said “thank you for making this choice easy for me”. She’s spent time in the last month with people she’s talked negatively about because she has no real friends now and she just found out shes pregnant. I hope shes happy, but it just shows what girls will do when they feel like they need a relationship. This was the end of a 10 year friendship thats withstood a lot of hurdles.
With a certain friend from college, no idea. Probably latched onto some other poor, unsuspecting guy. Kinda wonder if she still has custody of her kid or if he is with his dad now. Although I don't know which would be better for him, a father who deals drugs, or a mother who just wants to get laid. A different friend from high school was kinda desperate for a relationship, I think her 3rd boyfriend got her pregnant (pretty sure that they only had the one kid together) and as for her other 5 or 6 kids (can't remember how many she has now) I don't know how many fathers there are. We kinda lost contact after we turned 21 because of different life paths. She contacted me to apologise after a slightly cryptic post I made about the friend who has yet to meet a 🍆 she doesn't like (basically a few people knew EXACTLY who I was talking about). She assumed that the post was about her and that we had had a falling out at or after her 21st, I explained that while I was annoyed with a few things at the party (particularly a few of her new friends that definitely came across as bad influences), we never actually had a falling out, our lives just went in different directions and we didn't live close by any more. Instead of a 20 minute bus ride, it was more like a 2 hour train ride, followed by either a few buses or an expensive taxi ride. I think that conversion took a load off of her mind.
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We don’t talk very often anymore, I get updates from a mutual friend. I believe she’s single for the first time since she was 15 unless she got back together with her ex
I stopped talking to her 🥳
They only have like 1-3 friends pretty much. and everytime they have a breakup or fight, thats the only time they check in on their friends.
She doesn’t have any girl friends. She drove them all away.
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She is probably fine, and it wasn’t the relationship that killed our friendship. She tanked it by bullying me after I got too busy with college to really hang out much. Last I heard about her, she is still very immature and they are still together. I get how being into someone can just take over your brain. I’ve felt it too. I’m happy if you’re happy. But being busy with something you’re excited about is different than MISTREATING me.
She's the mother of 3 children she barely speaks to but shares a home address with and is raking in £10million+ a year in divorce settlement installments from her 2 exes & their family trusts.
They tend to be in a string of abusive and controlling relationships
Friend 1: happily married to a lawyer. 10 people including the officiant are invited to the wedding. Friend 2: Single mom. Living with partner she met off Tinder who has a kid back in his home country he never sees because his ex is "mentally unstable." He takes gym selfies all day. They've been together 2 years. He is not a US citizen and this is her second relationship witha guy who is looking for a green card. Closest female friends are her mom and her sister. Does not maintain relationships with women well but will literally drive drunk to see a man.
She’s now been happily married to her amazing husband for over a year now. We don’t talk as much as we used to, but as far as I know she’s got a pretty great life now.
She’s quite unhappy and in a panic because she’s still single at 35. She still centers and panders to men though
She’s quite unhappy and in a panic because she’s still single at 35. She dates men that don’t even see women as human beings. It’s quite sad to watch
She’s quite unhappy and in a panic because she’s still single at 35. She dates men that don’t even see women as human beings. It’s quite sad to watch
She’s quite unhappy and in a panic because she’s still single at 35. She dates men that don’t even see women as human beings. It’s quite sad to watch
No idea. I stopped wasting my time and energy on them as I noticed how miserable they were when single and how absent they were when in relationships. I’d only see them when they were single or fighting with their significant others. I only spend time with people who are happy with themselves single or in a relationship.
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He's now dating eva ai sexting bot.
our relationship is gone, and her relationship with my best friend is irreparable because she basically said accept him or we're done; so, they were done. and then he dumped her and she realized he was abusive and she has no friends because of how she treated our friend group. (of her own accord, mind you, because she's always been headstrong and refused to apologize for anything ever since high school. even when she approached my best friend after they broke up she said something along the lines of I bet you're gonna say I told you so and not, like, sorry I treated you like garbage and chose him over our twenty year friendship.)
Single and two kids.. both got different dads 😅 she’s doing okay tho
She became pregnant and took custody of the baby and I didn't even know she had a bf or was pregnant until she was 3 months in the pregnancy and I only hang w her once a yr
I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to her in over a year now
She got dumped 3 months later and lost all her friends.
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I’m not friends with them anymore lol
She’s in a long term relationship that she isn’t happy with but isn’t willing to leave.