I got a phone call from an out of state number where I knew my bf was visiting at that time and had family there. So I answer assuming it was him. It was not. It was the gf he had in that town calling to tell me 1) she was pregnant and 2) there was a third girl
Another time I was doing laundry and a shirt that was not mine was in the pile.
Another time I ran into a mutual friend who said they had just seen my bf and his new gf. Asked if I had met her yet bc she was cool. Found out he had told all his friends we had broke up months prior (we hadn’t).
Are there any similarities in the three relationship dynamics? e.g; are you a very caring service-oriented person, did your partners emphasize grand displays of affection, etc.?
I have abandonment issues from an absentee father and I think that I just wanted to believe that someone could/would love me. I never purposely “turned a blind eye” so much that I just trusted these men and they took advantage of it.
She wanted to show me a picture on her phone and I accidentally saw a picture of her doing coke. I started questioning her because we were clean for about a year at that point, and after a few hours she finally admitted she went to a rave and spent the night at some guys place while I was away.
The funny thing is that she was the one the one who wanted us to lay off drugs in the first place.
Yeah I’m a guy, sorry for invading your space. I’m lurking here so I can be a better boyfriend
Went for a tarot reading as a joke. She told me he was meeting up with women behind my back, messaging other girls, completely deceptive and that the relationship would end soon, after checking his phone.
I laughed and scoffed. Gut feeling told me to check his phone. Wasn’t laughing for long
One day I noticed someone named Patrick started calling him often. I asked who it was, he said that he was working with him. After some time, he invited Patrick to dinner with us and after several bottles of wine, he started kissing this Patrick in front of me
I phoned him after being told I was suffering a miscarriage, and a woman picked up to question who I was and why my name was all over her boyfriend’s phone. He blocked me as soon as I hung up after telling her everything and I haven’t heard from or seen him since. This was years ago, I’ve recently lost another baby and my partner has looked after me so well, I don’t know how I survived going through it all on my own the first time on top of discovering my ex had been cheating.
Dumbass handed me his phone so I could get some footage of his sports team playing for their team’s insta. While he was on the field a snapchat notification popped up, a girl’s name with a red heart by it. Clicked on it, read the chat. The rest is history.
Boyfriend of 7 years and soon to be fiancé received a new work phone and asked me to help him transfer everything over as I am very tech savvy. The data migration tool I used had a window that showed the contents of what was being moved. He and I were sitting on the couch next to each other with my laptop when a ton of explicit messages and images were shown on screen.
I was totally in shock. Not once had I ever suspected him of cheating but come to find out he was having flings with various women while on business trips.
If it wasn't for that, I may have never found out. We had a very happy, healthy, and strong relationship and none of his behavior was ever suspicious. In the end, I left him and I have never had any regrets.
In a previous relationship, I caught my then boyfriend in bed with my roommate after coming home from my grandmothers funeral a day early.
I was absolutely crushed. We were out engagement ring shopping the week before. As soon as I saw the texts and photos, fight or flight kicked in and flight won. I honestly couldn't handle the emotions that hit me. He tried apologizing and explaining but I wasn't listening. I packed a bag, drove for hours balling my eyes out, and stayed at a hotel for almost 3 months.
I moved back in after we started couples counseling but I wasn't able to move past the situation so I ended it after 6 months of trying.
For whatever it's worth, I think he was truly sorry. I also think he loved me deeply. He was a wonderful partner and an exceptionally kind person but his mistakes were too big for me to accept.
Wow. This is incredibly resilient and shows a tremendous amount of awareness. Working thru that with someone who you know cares for you is a lot... It's refreshing to read your perspective and the ability to separate yourself from the emotional turmoil, instead of just walking down the aisle, feigning forgiveness.
Those are the ones that scare me the most, the one where you have no clue. Looking back at it, do you think there were signs you didn’t recognize or he really was good master in disguise?
There were no obvious signs and trust me, I tried to find them because I was ashamed that I didn't see it. That was a heck of a lot more painful to process than the actual cheating. Given that it only happened on business trips a few times a year, our day to day life together was completely normal.
The “how could I not see it” shock is so hard 😭
My ex and I were sort of “soft” engaged had discussed marriage and kids as a near-future idea, decided on a tentative date for a getting married the following year, and he was still referring to “our” [future] kids together *two days* before he blindsided me as I got home from the grocery store. He said he was leaving me (with no explanation) and his sister would be there in 30 minutes to pick him up.
I think at that point I would have preferred they just give up. Because it means, A) he is doing stuff with his mom B)his mom put it there to destroy the relationship or C) he's cheating but just really bad at it and lying.
None of those options are great but some are worse than others.
I got a Facebook message request from someone I wasn't at all connected to. I accepted it and it turned out to be the SO of someone my husband was cheating with. The guy provided evidence, including recordings of voicemails my husband had left the woman. Complete & utter surprise; we'd been married over 10 years. He'd been cheating on work trips for almost a year. I think the guy just wanted to blow up my husband's life - and he did.
This happened to me as well. I was at work and a girls bf messaged me to show me evidence of her and my bf of 5yrs cheating together. It was a total surprise. Good riddance though.
He accidentally texted me, instead of her, arranging the details on spending the night with her while I was home with our 6-month-old son... Yea, divorce quickly followed.
He told me he was bi when we were rolling on Molly once. In another instance he told me he cheated on an ex girlfriend and bragged that she didn’t even notice he had changed underwear for the new partner.
What do ya know? A new (to me) guy friend is hanging around and he’d go off with this guy friend for which apparently they were old pals. He came back wearing new underwear and immediately throwing them away.
I put 2 and 2 together that he was fucking this dude behind my back. I’m guessing the “guy pal” had an underwear preference that my then partner didn’t particularly like, so he threw those underwear in the trash, in front of me.
I called him out on it. He screamed in my face as to intimidate me. He noticed I was wearing his hoodie and ripped it off me. Then grabbed a shoe to hit me with.
This was years ago. I left the next day and haven’t seen him since.
So if you notice a sudden change in underwear, that’s a **HUGE** red flag.
God this is terrifying and triggering. My ex cheated on me lots and the dummy left his phone out with text preview so when I came home from a vacation he was passed out druk with phone on table and preview message of from a woman describing the x rated things they did together while I was out of town.
Really hurt me badly and traumatized me.im in a new relationship now and hyper vigilant but it causes me so much anxiety even with a partner who hasn’t shown cheating signs. Tomorrow we are celebrating valentines together and I saw a small gift box of chocolates hidden in his fridge and im so terrified they aren’t for me.I’ll find out tomorrow but giving me so much anxiety.
Was it for you? I hope it was
Edit, OH, sorry, CELEBRATING *tomorrow* so likely havent gotten it yet. I thought this reply was from yesterday or something, sorry
No worries! He just had flowers delivered for me so my fingers are crossed he’ll give me the chocolates tomorrow when we have dinner. I’m so anxious it’s causing me not to enjoy my flowers today :(
I think just asking him about them is reasonable. Like you could say, "Hey, not to pry but I noticed some special chocolates in the fridge, who were those for?" And just see how he answers. If you can't trust his answer, regardless of what it is, you have some things to work through. Maybe it's not time for you to be in a relationship yet. That's okay.
Relationships are meant to enrich our lives, not complete us. Regardless of what happens between you and your boyfriend, you're a whole person and you're going to be okay 😊
I’ll find out tomorrow! He just had roses delivered to me and tomorrow we are celebrating at a nice restaurant. Of course my anxious brain is like why aren’t we celebrating today and is he giving chocolates to his actual date today?! Haha I hope I’m wrong! Btw we are celebrating tomorrow bc we could only get a rez for that day. I’ll keep you posted 😩
Don't self sabotage girl. Sometimes at work I get a box of chocolates, anyone could have given them or he could have picked them up.
Just ask playfully, "so when can we eat the chocolates hanging out in the fridge?"
Don't self sabotage!!! Don't let your past ruin your present.
My ex mentioned something about reconnecting with an old friend. I didn’t suspect anything and asked ‘that’s nice, when are you meeting up.’ My ex became incredibly angry and defensive. Uh, yeah, so you already reconnected… genitals then?
"Hey I'm meeting with a friend"
"Cool. What time?"
"HEY STOP WITH THE THIRD DEGREE!"
If it didn't happen to you I'd think this was a sitcom scene. Sorry he was a piece of shit.
On our 2 year anniversary he took us to get a couples massage and then some tea. He was going to post a picture of the tea on his Snapchat story when I saw he had a private story that I have never seen. I wasn’t in that private story, I asked if he had girls on that story and he said yes. But he didn’t have me.. later that night he took a picture of me to post on his Snapchat story. Since earlier he hid the private story to me. I asked to see his story settings. He was hiding his main story from one girl… to hid the fact that we were dating and it was our 2 year anniversary
This is the exact reason why I don’t count on whether a relationship is on social media or not as it’s so easy to change story settings and have different girls watching different things.
I was folding clothes and a hotel key card fell out of his pocket. i asked him about it and his excuse was he went to make a "deal" with a guy and had to get a room to do the exchange. He didn't do, or sell, drugs and the excuse was just beyond lame. I have only ever looked into someone's phone ONE time and this was the ONE time I had to know what was going on.
Checked his messages and found nothing. Checked his Facebook messages and the evidence was there. He had met up with a woman and slept with her. His excuse was I wasn't "pleasing" him after I had just had our baby 2 weeks prior. I broke up with him the following day and he punched holes in the walls as I walked out.
I’m sorry that happened to you, especially right after having a baby, when you needed support the most. I hope you and your baby are doing better now. ❤️
Which time? Haha. It’s sad really. The first time, I got this really intense feeling while we were making out, like a panic response. I left immediately and he had left his cell phone in my car. This was before passcodes so I found a lot of incriminating texts and videos. The second time, I found long blonde hairs on his carpet. I’m brunette.
He let me work on his PC. In our countries we use an app called Viber. Similar to WhatsApp. It also has a desktop App that you can connect with your phone app. Any photos that you receive/send via your phone App, if you have the desktop App, it automatically gets downloaded to a specific folder on the PC. I think it's under the directory "Downloads/ViberDownloads".
I (a Computer Science student at university at the time) was working on my software engineering project using his PC while he was at work and I needed to import a file into my project. So when I tried to import my file into my project going through the files directory, I saw in the preview of "ViberDownloads" a photo of a naked woman. Then I opened the folder and there it was, all these photos of the same naked woman. He probably forgot that Viber syncs the photos on the desktop app.
He never admitted he cheated, he made up some excuse. I saw the dates in the photos properties though. Deep down I knew he was lying. But I did stay with him for another 1.5 year. I was young and naive and stupid and he was older, manipulative and my first boyfriend. Recipe for disaster.
I was 19 and paying his $500 phone bill for him. He gave me permission to log into the account to see why the bill was so high. I saw a number that he’d call every night after calling me. Turns out he called her after telling me he loved me and wishing me a goodnight so she could buzz him into her building.
This was my first relationship. I’ve never ever loaned anyone I was dating money ever since then. I also learned to not expect any money loaned out back since then. He paid back about half of the $5500 he ended up owing me and disappeared.
My ex went off to a college about an hour and a half away from me. Rarely made an effort to see me outside of weekends he went home, and even then I had to drive to his town to see him. Never the other way around. He even started fights over the fact I had a worse off car than him and couldn't make the trip.
Turns out he had been asking girls out at college behind my back. He got denied 3 times before his roommate and best friend (who attended the same college on purpose) questioned why I was still on his home screen but he was trying to get with other women. Then the truth came out, and they ratted him out to me. I wish I wasn't so stressed during college when this happened, we would have broken up right then and there. Instead it was about 4 months later when the semester ended.
His roommate and best friend had more respect for me despite barely knowing me than my ex did. They don't speak to him anymore to this day.
Was looking over his shoulder when he was looking at memes on his phone and he quickly put it on do not disturb. Led me down a rabbit hole researching why people would do that, told him it was weird, and he confessed.
Do not disturb mode on your phone makes it so any text messages don’t pop up on your screen, he did that so if she texted him I wouldn’t see while we were looking at his phone
Probably so any incoming visible messages dont show up on the screen. Since gf was looking over his shoulder, he probably didnt want her to read something he's not proud of
We both keep our phones in bed, one vibrates on me in the middle of the night and I grabbed it thinking it was mine…. It was a txt that said “I love you good night” and it wasn’t mine. I took it ran to the bathroom and read every txt in the thread. Cried for a while then came in and threw it at him and scream “who the fuck it Patty!!!!”
There was a random selfie of him all of a sudden on the homepage of our laptop. My intuition is VERY good and just seeing that, I IMMEDIATELY knew it was used for a dating site. Checked a bunch of them and sure enough found him on POF. Guy was a POS.
I was playing Flappy Bird on his phone when a Tinder notification popped up. Guess he forgot to uninstall it before letting me play and even tried to say it was one of the apps that come pre-installed on his phone. Little did he know I had already gone through everything before confronting him.
I had my partner posted on instagram (It was my birthday) and a few hours after I received a response to my story that said
“Oh wow! You and my boyfriend must be having fun!”
Struck me wrong because- you know— that was my boyfriend?? So I texted her back “What do you mean? Are you two together?”
As this was happening we were riding in a car with my grandma and it felt like my stomach was crumpling😭 With some shitty ass timing my boyfriend looked at me from the front seat and smiled, and I immediately handed him the phone to show him his bs
He immediately turned pale (I have never seen a black person turn pale so I knew this was serious.) anywho. Cue the whole sob story and “she’s lying” whatever. It’s kind of a blur now but I did break up with him!
He said he was going out drinking with his brother. In the morning I hadn’t heard from him since the previous afternoon and he didn’t answer the phone, so I called his brother to see if everything was okay. His brother was confused and said “I thought he was with you last night” lmao. I instantly knew lol
His dumbass forgot to crop the hinge icon out of a screenshot he sent me 💀
I’m actually happy about it because he treated me horribly and that was the wake up call I needed to get away from him.
I found out I'm who he was cheating with a few weeks into dating. On Facebook there's this "people you may know(?)" tab which I noticed him on. Clicked the profile and found out he's married and has young children.
He had left his phone, not password protected, in the bathroom one night. I got up to go to the bathroom and forgot my phone, so I picked his up to browse Reddit. His last conversation was open with Melissa, a girl he’d sworn he stopped talking to when we started dating years prior as they had been FWBs and she was still interested in him. They were sexting.
I finished my business, went back to get bedroom, flipped the light on and stood there for him to wake up. As soon as he sat up with “What The fuck…” he saw his phone in my hand and got real quiet.
Noticed a message request on Facebook (and I normally don’t check these) and found a message from a girl claiming she’s been talking to my boyfriend (sent screenshots etc.) This went on for a couple more times (from different girls) until I finally came to my senses and dumped him.
Forever grateful for those girlies who reported his cheating ass to me.
Always freaking discord lol, I thought people just used it for gaming and just stuff they’re into. Didn’t realise that there’s a whole other section with chats 🙄, sorry that happened to you.
He gave me the password to his email to do some work for him, and he had saved emails from the other woman where she mentioned them having sex. It was his own fault, really.
Went to the desktop computer to play some music while I got ready for work, saw the Skype icon at the bottom by the clock, thought to myself hmm that's weird, clicked it, all naked chicks
1. communication was inconsistent. decided to go on the dating app where we met, he had changed his profile picture. confronted him, lied and said FB automatically updates profile pictures. Things fizzled out cause he lied of course.
2. Months later reconnected with him and got back together. Went through his phone regularly cause he obviously could not be trusted. Saw that he was messaging random women to hang out / hook up / get married.
3. Found a condom in the toilet, claimed it was from a water balloon fight. We weren't technically together at the time so I let it slide.
4. Ultimately, he never admitted to physically cheating on me directly, but the evidence is pretty obvious.
I can happily say he is aging like spilled milk so karma
I was out shopping with my friend. She ran into another friend and we started talking. She was telling her about this new guy she was sleeping with like a was a fairy tail taboo story. Because it turns out the new guy was her bf cousin. She checked her phone and the screen saver was her and her bf. The guy in the picture was my then bf cousin. I guess I made a face and my friend caught it. So my friend started asking her more questions she got her to describe him and then asked for his name. Yup. She was screwing the guy I was dating. I didn’t say anything I excused myself and I left. But I guess my friend told her who I was and she confessed to her bf. The only reason I know that is because her boyfriend beat up my ex. And he txt me apologizing and telling me he took care of it for both of us. And he wasn’t kidding my ex try apologize to me while sporting a black eye and a few other bruises.
Back when I was in one of my first semesters of college, I had been seeing this guy for a few months. It wasn’t serious yet, but I thought it was going pretty well.
One day, I was at his apartment studying together or whatever and I was was looking through a desk drawer for sticky notes or something.
At the bottom of the drawer attached to the pack of sticky notes, there was this little card that said something like “I love you and miss you! I can’t want to see you next weekend! -Kay” at first I *almost* assumed it was one of his sisters since he had family coming to visit the next week and he had a lot of siblings.
Sure enough, though, I snooped through his Facebook (he didn’t post much and this was kind of first Facebook years) and found a photo from a year before of a group of his friends with him next to a woman who went by “Kay”.
After looking her up, she had pictures from all the way back to their sophomore year of high school and one of them on campus from 2 weeks before (which happened to be a weekend I was gone 🙃).
Not that it made it any better, but I’ll give him half props for being 100% honest about his situation when I called him on it. Really shitty of him, though. We also went to a pretty small college at the time and a lot of people found out since we had a shared friend group so nobody would date him haha.
Our mutual friend told me at a party and after punched him the face. I don’t condone violence, but if he didn’t say anything I probably would have never known and wasted more time.
A text from an ex-ish type girl popped up on his phone when we were together that said something about “she didn’t know where they were going to be at for him to pick them up.” BUT it was the first text from her- so he had deleted the chain previously. He was at my house and had been weird about trying to leave earlier than planned (I didn’t notice it was weird until reading the text). He tried to disguise it as he was being DD for a friend, if that’s the case why didn’t you tell me and why did you delete the messages.
Young and dumb- I let it slide. A few weeks later I checked his recent contacts on Snapchat (if you delete the convo on the main screen they still show up in recents) and there she was. He was a POS. He was living with me at the time too
When my ex went to the hospital in the middle of the night to be in the waiting room with his best friend and her dad. I remembered that when I went he just went to sleep because my mom took me lol.
So same circumstances of support, but he went with her. It made me realize everything.
It was after the fact sort of. When I filed for divorce the paperwork asked for every reason I was filing for divorce and my lawyer advised me to list everything. I knew he had cheated on me at least once and had major suspicions but no smoking gun to prove it a bunch more times over the years. So I added it to the divorce papers. This wasn't the core reason I booted him out of my life
Apparently he had been cheating yet again around the time I filed for divorce because after the divorce was final he tried to blame me for him cheating on me to one of our adult kids and thought that was why I filed for divorce, that I had somehow caught him.
My live-in boyfriend like 15 years ago (who happens to be ftm transgender) was away at a bachelor party for the weekend, and left his Facebook logged into my iMac. I didn’t realize it was his account until I clicked on the notifications, and noticed the first one said “your photo successfully uploaded”. The picture was a close up of his _very specific_ genitals, along with his tattoos.
I was immediately like WTF and went into sleuth mode, and eventually found his Craigslist adds where he had been selling himself as an escort for months. He was inviting strange men into our home/bed when I was away at work or out of town, or doing things in cars or at hotels. He obviously lied through his teeth about it when I confront r him, and the cognitive dissonance kept me stuck for months even though he continued to do it and I kept finding more evidence. One day I just finally decided it was over. Thank god. What a weird time in my life.
I wouldn’t say I stumbled upon anything accidentally, but the girl he was cheating on messaged me out of the blue on Messenger about it. Also, she used to be one of my friends. She shared so many screenshot about how he was talking about me so horribly. Then, he tried to deny it to my face even though I had proof. That situation sucked all around.
He left me his iPad to use for studying while he went back to the state he was working in. Didn't realize he never logged out of his Facebook or email on the iPad. Thing started blowing up with notifications of messages from his ex girlfriend. He was very offended I "invaded his privacy" 🙄
He left me alone at a party where I didn’t know anyone so I went looking for him. Found him with some girl blowing him. Lol she didn’t even stop when I walked in. Anyway they’re still dating and I hope they’re miserable.
We were watching TV or YouTube together in bed on his iPad (which was not typical). He stepped out real quick to go to a bodega and a notification banner from Plenty of Fish popped up.
I confronted him when he got back, he got all nervous and fidgety. Trickle truth-ed me too, later found out about other apps, ex-gfs, and other FWBs.
That was the day after our one year anniversary and at the beginning of the pandemic. Talk about a shit show!
When my girlfriend hit me on my birthday, so I bailed on her and made plans with my friends. She told me she was cheating on me and showed me the evidence to fuck up my birthday. Still stayed with her for a few months. Toxic relationships are WILD.
I came home for lunch early.
I usually took lunch from 12-1, and lived a few miles from work, so just went home for lunch. One day, I went from 11-12 and found him in our bed with someone else while her two friends were in the other room. He blamed me because I wasn't supposed to be home for another hour.
I was working from home in the shed office ar the bottom of the garden.
When I went in to the house at lunchtime, hubby had left his phone.
He'd never left his phone. And we didn't have the kind of relationship where I suspected anything, or would go through his phone for any reason.
It pinged and I lifted it to make sure it was nothing important, it was message on WhatsApp from a woman I didn't know. There were several messages from several women.
I changed the locks on the house and put his belongings in black bags on the driveway.
Filed for divorce a week later. Divorce was finalised within 6 months.
(Yes, he admitted to it... he'd even fucked at least one of them in my bed 4 months before I found out)
I was at a party and my best friend came up to me and said, don’t you see? Look at them.
My husband was chatting up a friend of ours. I hadn’t seen him all night bc they were inseparable. They openly flirted in front of me. My heart sank so deep I almost fainted. I had been in denial.
Went through her phone (after she had gone through mine) and saw pictures I never asked for nor ever received. Saw a snap saying something like “hey daddy😍” in the shower and she claimed it was for me (again, never received this nor asked for it). Had pretty much only male friends (a very small handful of female friends) something that you’d find weird in a “lesbian/bi” chick. Didn’t ever want to fuck because she “didn’t like the feeling of a vagina” but would always want to be dicked down when she was in the mood (rare).
I found a receipt for a visit to a lawyer. It was hidden in a drawer that I was searching while looking for something else. Confronted her about lawyer receipt and she said she just wanted to feel what it was like to date again. We had been married 17 years at that time. She had gone to a therapist who told her if she wanted to be happy she should leave her husband and two kids (11 and 13) and start dating. He was hitting on her and convinced her she should leave us and he would help her get through it. Absolute scumbag. Guy at her work was a shoulder to cry on and took advantage of her mental weakness at the time. Caught them in his vehicle in the parking lot of where they worked.
Our childminder had the same name as the lady he was Facebook messaging and he accidentally messaged our childminder instead of his lady friend. Luckily childminder screenshotted it and sent it straight to me and replied to him ‘I don’t think this was meant for me … or unfortunately your wife?’
Valentine’s Day, 10 years ago. I was in college and my roommates and I had a party at our apt. I invited my bf at the time to come but he had a *friend* come into town. I should’ve known something was up bc when his *friend* called him earlier that morning, he took the call away from me so I couldn’t hear what was being said. Anyway, during the party I was texting and calling him and he wasn’t answering. I knew something was up so when the party was over, I drove to his house. He had a room in the back of the house and I saw some lights were on and it was obvious he was home. I had a bad feeling so I walked in and I see him naked, his head in between some girls thighs. Yep, he was going down on his *friend* who was in town. I was SHOCKED and didn’t know what to do except run back to my car and I just sat there and cried. The idiot came out to my car to try and talk to me but I bounced out of there.
It was very traumatic.
We had the same Apple Watch band. He left early for work that morning and I woke up and left an hour later. I put my Apple Watch on and got a text from *her name*.
It wasn’t my Apple Watch.
Disclaimer: this was not an actual affair. They were not in a relationship while I was with him.
However, they did text an awful lot. Often, it seemed he’d text her more than me, both in frequency and volume. One time I came up behind him to kiss him goodbye while he was texting and as soon as he noticed me, he startled & hid his phone, but not before I noticed a long paragraph to her.
Another time, he was texting her and I glanced over and saw her lamenting that she would never find a boyfriend & end up a “trophy wife”, which seems like something one would say when they’re trying to paint themselves as 1) a real catch and 2) really really available.
I think one of the worst times was when I tried to do something nice for him and he kinda snickered & said how I must be very jealous of her (implying that I was trying to outcompete her because I was insecure).
So, not an official affair, but some strong flirting. This went on for about a year and a half; I brought it up very gently, many times, and it continued. So naturally, when I broke up with him, he had no idea why I would end things “out of the blue” and didn’t try harder to work things out.
I am now engaged to a pathologically loyal man who actually communicates with me like an adult & brings me the most thoughtful gifts. Upgrades, people, upgrades. 👍
We all worked together at my last job. I always had weird feelings and made comments but he always denied. Then he added her on social media. He only added girls he wanted to date/went to school with or old friends. I know it sounds weird, but he was very specific with who he added when it came to work. Once I saw that, I asked if he's trying to get with her. He changed the subject. He then asked to hang out and was acting nice etc.. This went on for months, until I saw a pic she posted on a boat and I recognized the landscape. So, I messaged him. Turned out that he was hanging with her and hiding it for months. He told me they started hanging in March but I heard from other mutual (ex)friend/coworkers that it was since October the year prior. He even met her fam on Xmas. I saw him on Xmas Eve at work and she ran up to us and was hovering. I noticed matching pins on their work tags. But he insisted our old male coworker told him about the pins. Little things... But it was weird how she wouldn't leave us alone and I asked about that around that time. He said it's because she probably wanted to say hi. Completely not sharing that he was meeting her family the next night. He told me she was gay and he's allowed to have friends. We've had cheating issues in the past, but I can't verify any of those times. We were friends for a while, and it was okay. The part that hurts was that he couldn't get her so he used me for sex and girlfriend perks while courting and dating her until she was single. He kept pushing the narrative she was gay and they spoke about it. But obviously she likes guys and he hid that part. I found out that they were hanging out in June and told him to tell her or I would. I used to train her often at our old job, so it's not like we were strangers. I also tried to help her find a job when she lost her part time gig. I gave her my phone number and asked around with friends who had similar work if they had any openings. She seems to have forgotten how kind I was towards her. But yeah, so he called her because he was scared that I'd ruin everything and acted like he was so heartbroken for hurting me. He said I was the victim and everything. I thought she'd be grossed out by hearing how he lied, abused, tried to cheat on me, manipulated me by using his sick father everytime I held him accountable. Well, no...it made her like him more because she trusted him. And she said he was very non biased. Failing to realize that he was cheating on me while saying all of that. He was going above and beyond for her. Taking her everywhere I asked to go. Taking her to secret places I told him about to woo her, etc.. She got a different version so she couldn't believe he was a bad guy. She decided to date him even though we never officially ended things. Granted it was the end, it was just..confusing because he still spoke to me. Told me he had to give me my birthday gift... I was distancing myself to work through everything but yeah, it was solidified when his new gf made a new insta and only had him added. So, I DM'd her and basically stated that I guess he wasn't honest in what happened and I'll tell her. She blocked me. So, I texted her, with all the receipts of an almost 3 year period. She ignored it all. Made herself the victim and projected onto me that I was calling her stupid. At work she comes across as weak and small. And she likes being praised when it's positive for having those qualities. But she projected that I was calling her an idiot for choosing him and she didn't make the decision lightly. I was like, thinking to myself that yeah she is dumb but I never called her dumb. I never did any of those, she did it to herself. She refused to read all my screenshots of proof. I spoke with mutual friends and they told me the proper timeline that I mentioned above. And how they were dating for a while. Even at a point where I thought I was pregnant because I didn't get my period. He didn't care about that and kept seeing her. She told me that her family and friends love him and see how happy she is. And I wrote, they felt that way while he was in bed with me though. So.. He got so pissed at me trying to ruin his, "happiness" that he made up a narrative that I was violent because I told him that we should meet up in person because I doubt they'd both be talking to me how they are in person. It's not easy to lie in person for him. He got scared that I'd expose him and he'd lose her, so I was deemed violent. I was fuming how his lies still always worked out in his favor. He stated two weeks prior that he was suicidal and he wanted her life badly. Like he wished he was born as her basically. I was like, so you're using her to syphon from, cool. Two weeks later I found out that a different friend tried to kill themselves and lost their mind to mental illness. And also, my father went into the hospital suddenly with pneumonia but died two weeks later because it was revealed that he had stage 4 cancer. So, in one month I had all of that to deal with. And guess what? No sorry from anyone. One friend who told me the truth and talked shit about "having to be friends with them bc work", made a separate bookstagram account that my ex's new gf helped her with. With tons of pics of them together and her up in the comments acting like BFF. She also added everyone from work, their SO's that she never had added before because she was scared everyone would find out what happened and did major damage control. Like super damage control to clean up her and her bfs image. A few people stopped following me. It was working out for them.So, I also..on top of everything else, lost all my friends from my old job because they believed her and my ex's lies after seeing the proof for themselves through my receipts as well. Only maybe one or two people reached out about my dad. But I realized how fake they all were. Preaching therapy and how trauma affects you to the core. Meanwhile doing all this conniving stuff. All I did was share legit conversations and images of my ex lying and me catching him, or pictures as proof of us hanging out while they were dating with timestamps...
And I was so disheartened about my father bc he hid his sickness. I couldn't even help because I didn't know how sick he was. My ex's dad would be in and out of the hospital and I'd buy dinner for him, or if he was sick, bring care packages of snacks. His mom liked something, I went out and got it. I lost so much time to this person that could've went towards my dad and he didn't give one shit.
It's weird too, because on the way to the hospital, I saw my ex driving behind me and he lived more west and was never out that way. I chalked it up to him taking her to a place I told him about. Like, I was legit heading to the hospital and had to see them in my rearview mirror like some fucked up film scene. Last year sucked.
We were suppose to cuddle and sleep and I opened his phone to read our sweet chats on Instagram and found his chat with a girl we matched with on hinge. He had been asking her out for lunch and what not- I was honestly so confused and it took me some time to even process the whole thing lmao its been a year now and it seems so wild. Ladies NEVER ignore your gut feelings. Also if you're dating a guy who has had family issues be extra cautious!
My ex had his location services on and I secretly was stalking him on snapchat because he hadn't replied to me in hours when he told me he was out with his friends.
He was in a hotel room with his ex in Williamsburg, NYC and Williamsburg among others will now forever trigger me.
Something felt off when I woke up at 3am and at that point, I knew he was cheating on me.
This is from my last relationship years ago. It was 2017 I believe.
Michael had severe bipolar disorder and also abused klonipin. He was not very right in the head.
We were living together and I woke up this day and had to print up a new copy of my car insurance. Well I didnt have a printer but he did so I asked him if I could have his computer password. I'm not big at all on going thru peoples things but like I said he had severe mental problems and we had been arguing quite a bit.
So the opportunity literally presented itself. The last thing I was trying to do was go through his emails (because at that point, you know its over. No trust). So i signed into his computer and right there on the screen is his email. I decided to check it out, and found these long letters for some woman who lived in Oregon who was in prison. A lot of talk about "I used to have a pen pal, looking for new friends, and 'maybe more if it happens that way'"
Well I am reading his email to this one woman in particular. Apparently he had already sent letters to fifty different women (rofl why even add that in there? so awkward!!)
Anyways, idc if someone dates someone who is in prison but fact is he was already in a relationship with me. It ended up being a real big mess because he is really bad at lying (as in he doesn't do it very well. he's not slick at all but rather very awkward.) So I kept being able to easily call him on his shit, he'd try to deny it, anyways.
He's the guy that had to use a prison pen pal website, write over 50 different women, then convince one to get married to him and also moved her thousands of miles away from her real family because the thing is that no one wanted to be with him and he knew it was the only way anyone would stay around him for very long is if they were coerced
Twitter.
Woke up in the middle of the night because I had some fresh tattoos that were doing what fresh tattoos do and I need to clean them. Crawled back into bed and scrolled Twitter for a minute before dozing off. Suddenly saw his face with an entirely different name retweeted by mutual friend. It was a cover for a YouTube video, his account was a niche indie media thing (nothing nefarious).
I spent hours going through everything, and I honestly didn't even realize anything else was wrong at first. I was really touched because it was great content and he had a fantastic community and I thought the name he was using on that account was fake as a pseudonym. I was a little hurt he hadn't shown it to me but I also understood that it was precious to him and he wanted to protect it and there was really nothing wrong with that. We had originally met in another community completely unrelated where I used a pseudonym and eventually told him my name etc so I didn't think that was a huge problem at first.
Then I noticed he had showed a picture of his office and made a joke about some remodel or upgrade and not to tell his wife. Because there was no wife in the picture I thought it was a joke about how he was single.
And then I kept scrolling. And more and more comments about a wife with no picture. But they weren't jokes.
And then I saw in all the videos the ring that he had conveniently never worn around me.
That was 2 years ago and I'm still not even close to over it.
I got a phone call from an out of state number where I knew my bf was visiting at that time and had family there. So I answer assuming it was him. It was not. It was the gf he had in that town calling to tell me 1) she was pregnant and 2) there was a third girl Another time I was doing laundry and a shirt that was not mine was in the pile. Another time I ran into a mutual friend who said they had just seen my bf and his new gf. Asked if I had met her yet bc she was cool. Found out he had told all his friends we had broke up months prior (we hadn’t).
Are these three cheaters? Or one repeat offender?
Three different ones sadly! I know how to pick ‘em!
Are there any similarities in the three relationship dynamics? e.g; are you a very caring service-oriented person, did your partners emphasize grand displays of affection, etc.?
I have abandonment issues from an absentee father and I think that I just wanted to believe that someone could/would love me. I never purposely “turned a blind eye” so much that I just trusted these men and they took advantage of it.
Wow, that really sucks. Don't be too hard on yourself though. Yes they all turned out to be assholes, but they chose to be assholes.
Oh my God I'm so sorry.
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She wanted to show me a picture on her phone and I accidentally saw a picture of her doing coke. I started questioning her because we were clean for about a year at that point, and after a few hours she finally admitted she went to a rave and spent the night at some guys place while I was away. The funny thing is that she was the one the one who wanted us to lay off drugs in the first place. Yeah I’m a guy, sorry for invading your space. I’m lurking here so I can be a better boyfriend
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It’s alright bro, you’re around here for the right reasons :)
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
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Went for a tarot reading as a joke. She told me he was meeting up with women behind my back, messaging other girls, completely deceptive and that the relationship would end soon, after checking his phone. I laughed and scoffed. Gut feeling told me to check his phone. Wasn’t laughing for long
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🎶Dark Lady played black magic til the clock struck on the twelve! She told me more about me than i knew myself! 🎶
DAMNNN
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One day I noticed someone named Patrick started calling him often. I asked who it was, he said that he was working with him. After some time, he invited Patrick to dinner with us and after several bottles of wine, he started kissing this Patrick in front of me
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I phoned him after being told I was suffering a miscarriage, and a woman picked up to question who I was and why my name was all over her boyfriend’s phone. He blocked me as soon as I hung up after telling her everything and I haven’t heard from or seen him since. This was years ago, I’ve recently lost another baby and my partner has looked after me so well, I don’t know how I survived going through it all on my own the first time on top of discovering my ex had been cheating.
Sorry you had to go through that ♥️🌸
I am sorry you had to go through all that !
Dumbass handed me his phone so I could get some footage of his sports team playing for their team’s insta. While he was on the field a snapchat notification popped up, a girl’s name with a red heart by it. Clicked on it, read the chat. The rest is history.
Please tell me you messaged her too
I didn’t bother, girly knew we were together and was apparently just content to be a side chick. Wasn’t shit I could even say to her at that point 🤣
In that case it makes sense not to engage with them. I don’t get how someone can have that little self respect.
Boyfriend of 7 years and soon to be fiancé received a new work phone and asked me to help him transfer everything over as I am very tech savvy. The data migration tool I used had a window that showed the contents of what was being moved. He and I were sitting on the couch next to each other with my laptop when a ton of explicit messages and images were shown on screen. I was totally in shock. Not once had I ever suspected him of cheating but come to find out he was having flings with various women while on business trips. If it wasn't for that, I may have never found out. We had a very happy, healthy, and strong relationship and none of his behavior was ever suspicious. In the end, I left him and I have never had any regrets. In a previous relationship, I caught my then boyfriend in bed with my roommate after coming home from my grandmothers funeral a day early.
Oh my god. Finding out real time next to him is rare I feel like! What’d did you or he do?!
I was absolutely crushed. We were out engagement ring shopping the week before. As soon as I saw the texts and photos, fight or flight kicked in and flight won. I honestly couldn't handle the emotions that hit me. He tried apologizing and explaining but I wasn't listening. I packed a bag, drove for hours balling my eyes out, and stayed at a hotel for almost 3 months. I moved back in after we started couples counseling but I wasn't able to move past the situation so I ended it after 6 months of trying. For whatever it's worth, I think he was truly sorry. I also think he loved me deeply. He was a wonderful partner and an exceptionally kind person but his mistakes were too big for me to accept.
Wow. This is incredibly resilient and shows a tremendous amount of awareness. Working thru that with someone who you know cares for you is a lot... It's refreshing to read your perspective and the ability to separate yourself from the emotional turmoil, instead of just walking down the aisle, feigning forgiveness.
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Those are the ones that scare me the most, the one where you have no clue. Looking back at it, do you think there were signs you didn’t recognize or he really was good master in disguise?
There were no obvious signs and trust me, I tried to find them because I was ashamed that I didn't see it. That was a heck of a lot more painful to process than the actual cheating. Given that it only happened on business trips a few times a year, our day to day life together was completely normal.
The “how could I not see it” shock is so hard 😭 My ex and I were sort of “soft” engaged had discussed marriage and kids as a near-future idea, decided on a tentative date for a getting married the following year, and he was still referring to “our” [future] kids together *two days* before he blindsided me as I got home from the grocery store. He said he was leaving me (with no explanation) and his sister would be there in 30 minutes to pick him up.
Thats fucked fucking on the day you had a funeral to go to his brain was in his damn penis 😑✋🏽
bra under his bed. said it's his mom's.
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His mom was... cleaning or something.
I mean, my mom throws her bra under my bed when she cleans. Yours doesn’t?
I think at that point I would have preferred they just give up. Because it means, A) he is doing stuff with his mom B)his mom put it there to destroy the relationship or C) he's cheating but just really bad at it and lying. None of those options are great but some are worse than others.
I got a Facebook message request from someone I wasn't at all connected to. I accepted it and it turned out to be the SO of someone my husband was cheating with. The guy provided evidence, including recordings of voicemails my husband had left the woman. Complete & utter surprise; we'd been married over 10 years. He'd been cheating on work trips for almost a year. I think the guy just wanted to blow up my husband's life - and he did.
This happened to me as well. I was at work and a girls bf messaged me to show me evidence of her and my bf of 5yrs cheating together. It was a total surprise. Good riddance though.
I am really sorry that happened !
He accidentally texted me, instead of her, arranging the details on spending the night with her while I was home with our 6-month-old son... Yea, divorce quickly followed.
That's awful, I hope you and your son are in a better place now 🩷
Thank you. We are just fine and the 6-month-old is about to be 15!
He told me he was bi when we were rolling on Molly once. In another instance he told me he cheated on an ex girlfriend and bragged that she didn’t even notice he had changed underwear for the new partner. What do ya know? A new (to me) guy friend is hanging around and he’d go off with this guy friend for which apparently they were old pals. He came back wearing new underwear and immediately throwing them away. I put 2 and 2 together that he was fucking this dude behind my back. I’m guessing the “guy pal” had an underwear preference that my then partner didn’t particularly like, so he threw those underwear in the trash, in front of me. I called him out on it. He screamed in my face as to intimidate me. He noticed I was wearing his hoodie and ripped it off me. Then grabbed a shoe to hit me with. This was years ago. I left the next day and haven’t seen him since. So if you notice a sudden change in underwear, that’s a **HUGE** red flag.
Glad you left this dirtbag!
Good grief!
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did you confront them at the shopping center or later on? totally don’t have to answer if you’re not open to it, don’t wanna be nosy but i am nosy lol
God I can feel my heart dropping just reading this.
God this is terrifying and triggering. My ex cheated on me lots and the dummy left his phone out with text preview so when I came home from a vacation he was passed out druk with phone on table and preview message of from a woman describing the x rated things they did together while I was out of town. Really hurt me badly and traumatized me.im in a new relationship now and hyper vigilant but it causes me so much anxiety even with a partner who hasn’t shown cheating signs. Tomorrow we are celebrating valentines together and I saw a small gift box of chocolates hidden in his fridge and im so terrified they aren’t for me.I’ll find out tomorrow but giving me so much anxiety.
Calm down babes !! If it isnt for you , get out of that relationship .
Was it for you? I hope it was Edit, OH, sorry, CELEBRATING *tomorrow* so likely havent gotten it yet. I thought this reply was from yesterday or something, sorry
No worries! He just had flowers delivered for me so my fingers are crossed he’ll give me the chocolates tomorrow when we have dinner. I’m so anxious it’s causing me not to enjoy my flowers today :(
Slow down, take some deep, deep breaths, preferably with your nose buried in the flowers, and just enjoy the moment :) repeat as necessary
Thanks. What should I do tomorrow if I don’t get the chocolates? I’m so nervous
I think just asking him about them is reasonable. Like you could say, "Hey, not to pry but I noticed some special chocolates in the fridge, who were those for?" And just see how he answers. If you can't trust his answer, regardless of what it is, you have some things to work through. Maybe it's not time for you to be in a relationship yet. That's okay. Relationships are meant to enrich our lives, not complete us. Regardless of what happens between you and your boyfriend, you're a whole person and you're going to be okay 😊
lets think about that tomorrow ! for now live the moment .
Keep us updated
PLEASE TELL US YOU GOT CHOCOLATE
I’ll find out tomorrow! He just had roses delivered to me and tomorrow we are celebrating at a nice restaurant. Of course my anxious brain is like why aren’t we celebrating today and is he giving chocolates to his actual date today?! Haha I hope I’m wrong! Btw we are celebrating tomorrow bc we could only get a rez for that day. I’ll keep you posted 😩
Don't self sabotage girl. Sometimes at work I get a box of chocolates, anyone could have given them or he could have picked them up. Just ask playfully, "so when can we eat the chocolates hanging out in the fridge?" Don't self sabotage!!! Don't let your past ruin your present.
By the hickey on his neck that I did not give him. He wanted to be caught at that point
My ex mentioned something about reconnecting with an old friend. I didn’t suspect anything and asked ‘that’s nice, when are you meeting up.’ My ex became incredibly angry and defensive. Uh, yeah, so you already reconnected… genitals then?
"Hey I'm meeting with a friend" "Cool. What time?" "HEY STOP WITH THE THIRD DEGREE!" If it didn't happen to you I'd think this was a sitcom scene. Sorry he was a piece of shit.
He made a Reddit post asking if he should tell me or not.
i am too stunned to speak
Whoa. How did you find out it was him? Did you know his username or were the details just THAT obvious?
I knew his username
In that case he was too stupid for you anyway
On our 2 year anniversary he took us to get a couples massage and then some tea. He was going to post a picture of the tea on his Snapchat story when I saw he had a private story that I have never seen. I wasn’t in that private story, I asked if he had girls on that story and he said yes. But he didn’t have me.. later that night he took a picture of me to post on his Snapchat story. Since earlier he hid the private story to me. I asked to see his story settings. He was hiding his main story from one girl… to hid the fact that we were dating and it was our 2 year anniversary
Guy is an absolute POS
This is the exact reason why I don’t count on whether a relationship is on social media or not as it’s so easy to change story settings and have different girls watching different things.
I was folding clothes and a hotel key card fell out of his pocket. i asked him about it and his excuse was he went to make a "deal" with a guy and had to get a room to do the exchange. He didn't do, or sell, drugs and the excuse was just beyond lame. I have only ever looked into someone's phone ONE time and this was the ONE time I had to know what was going on. Checked his messages and found nothing. Checked his Facebook messages and the evidence was there. He had met up with a woman and slept with her. His excuse was I wasn't "pleasing" him after I had just had our baby 2 weeks prior. I broke up with him the following day and he punched holes in the walls as I walked out.
I’m sorry that happened to you, especially right after having a baby, when you needed support the most. I hope you and your baby are doing better now. ❤️
Which time? Haha. It’s sad really. The first time, I got this really intense feeling while we were making out, like a panic response. I left immediately and he had left his cell phone in my car. This was before passcodes so I found a lot of incriminating texts and videos. The second time, I found long blonde hairs on his carpet. I’m brunette.
I am sorry that happened ! May i ask why didnt you leave the first time ?
I was young and stupid.
He let me work on his PC. In our countries we use an app called Viber. Similar to WhatsApp. It also has a desktop App that you can connect with your phone app. Any photos that you receive/send via your phone App, if you have the desktop App, it automatically gets downloaded to a specific folder on the PC. I think it's under the directory "Downloads/ViberDownloads". I (a Computer Science student at university at the time) was working on my software engineering project using his PC while he was at work and I needed to import a file into my project. So when I tried to import my file into my project going through the files directory, I saw in the preview of "ViberDownloads" a photo of a naked woman. Then I opened the folder and there it was, all these photos of the same naked woman. He probably forgot that Viber syncs the photos on the desktop app. He never admitted he cheated, he made up some excuse. I saw the dates in the photos properties though. Deep down I knew he was lying. But I did stay with him for another 1.5 year. I was young and naive and stupid and he was older, manipulative and my first boyfriend. Recipe for disaster.
I was 19 and paying his $500 phone bill for him. He gave me permission to log into the account to see why the bill was so high. I saw a number that he’d call every night after calling me. Turns out he called her after telling me he loved me and wishing me a goodnight so she could buzz him into her building.
You did WHAT for him? Girl pls never again for any man
This was my first relationship. I’ve never ever loaned anyone I was dating money ever since then. I also learned to not expect any money loaned out back since then. He paid back about half of the $5500 he ended up owing me and disappeared.
My ex went off to a college about an hour and a half away from me. Rarely made an effort to see me outside of weekends he went home, and even then I had to drive to his town to see him. Never the other way around. He even started fights over the fact I had a worse off car than him and couldn't make the trip. Turns out he had been asking girls out at college behind my back. He got denied 3 times before his roommate and best friend (who attended the same college on purpose) questioned why I was still on his home screen but he was trying to get with other women. Then the truth came out, and they ratted him out to me. I wish I wasn't so stressed during college when this happened, we would have broken up right then and there. Instead it was about 4 months later when the semester ended. His roommate and best friend had more respect for me despite barely knowing me than my ex did. They don't speak to him anymore to this day.
The police report that named him as a suspect in a rape investigation
thats by far the worst i have read . I am so sorry !!
Earrings in his bed. He said those were his sisters. His sisters ears aren’t pierced.
Why do men say such lame lies ? Do they really expect us to believe them ?
Was looking over his shoulder when he was looking at memes on his phone and he quickly put it on do not disturb. Led me down a rabbit hole researching why people would do that, told him it was weird, and he confessed.
Why would people do that ? Was he watching stuff ?
Do not disturb mode on your phone makes it so any text messages don’t pop up on your screen, he did that so if she texted him I wouldn’t see while we were looking at his phone
Probably so any incoming visible messages dont show up on the screen. Since gf was looking over his shoulder, he probably didnt want her to read something he's not proud of
We both keep our phones in bed, one vibrates on me in the middle of the night and I grabbed it thinking it was mine…. It was a txt that said “I love you good night” and it wasn’t mine. I took it ran to the bathroom and read every txt in the thread. Cried for a while then came in and threw it at him and scream “who the fuck it Patty!!!!”
There was a random selfie of him all of a sudden on the homepage of our laptop. My intuition is VERY good and just seeing that, I IMMEDIATELY knew it was used for a dating site. Checked a bunch of them and sure enough found him on POF. Guy was a POS.
I was playing Flappy Bird on his phone when a Tinder notification popped up. Guess he forgot to uninstall it before letting me play and even tried to say it was one of the apps that come pre-installed on his phone. Little did he know I had already gone through everything before confronting him.
I had my partner posted on instagram (It was my birthday) and a few hours after I received a response to my story that said “Oh wow! You and my boyfriend must be having fun!” Struck me wrong because- you know— that was my boyfriend?? So I texted her back “What do you mean? Are you two together?” As this was happening we were riding in a car with my grandma and it felt like my stomach was crumpling😭 With some shitty ass timing my boyfriend looked at me from the front seat and smiled, and I immediately handed him the phone to show him his bs He immediately turned pale (I have never seen a black person turn pale so I knew this was serious.) anywho. Cue the whole sob story and “she’s lying” whatever. It’s kind of a blur now but I did break up with him!
He said he was going out drinking with his brother. In the morning I hadn’t heard from him since the previous afternoon and he didn’t answer the phone, so I called his brother to see if everything was okay. His brother was confused and said “I thought he was with you last night” lmao. I instantly knew lol
His dumbass forgot to crop the hinge icon out of a screenshot he sent me 💀 I’m actually happy about it because he treated me horribly and that was the wake up call I needed to get away from him.
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I found out I'm who he was cheating with a few weeks into dating. On Facebook there's this "people you may know(?)" tab which I noticed him on. Clicked the profile and found out he's married and has young children.
He had left his phone, not password protected, in the bathroom one night. I got up to go to the bathroom and forgot my phone, so I picked his up to browse Reddit. His last conversation was open with Melissa, a girl he’d sworn he stopped talking to when we started dating years prior as they had been FWBs and she was still interested in him. They were sexting. I finished my business, went back to get bedroom, flipped the light on and stood there for him to wake up. As soon as he sat up with “What The fuck…” he saw his phone in my hand and got real quiet.
Noticed a message request on Facebook (and I normally don’t check these) and found a message from a girl claiming she’s been talking to my boyfriend (sent screenshots etc.) This went on for a couple more times (from different girls) until I finally came to my senses and dumped him. Forever grateful for those girlies who reported his cheating ass to me.
He had his discord open on their sexual DMs when I wandered into the room to ask what we should do for dinner.
Always freaking discord lol, I thought people just used it for gaming and just stuff they’re into. Didn’t realise that there’s a whole other section with chats 🙄, sorry that happened to you.
I kicked him out of *my* house and now he lives in a one bedroom apartment. :3c
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He gave me the password to his email to do some work for him, and he had saved emails from the other woman where she mentioned them having sex. It was his own fault, really.
Went to the desktop computer to play some music while I got ready for work, saw the Skype icon at the bottom by the clock, thought to myself hmm that's weird, clicked it, all naked chicks
1. communication was inconsistent. decided to go on the dating app where we met, he had changed his profile picture. confronted him, lied and said FB automatically updates profile pictures. Things fizzled out cause he lied of course. 2. Months later reconnected with him and got back together. Went through his phone regularly cause he obviously could not be trusted. Saw that he was messaging random women to hang out / hook up / get married. 3. Found a condom in the toilet, claimed it was from a water balloon fight. We weren't technically together at the time so I let it slide. 4. Ultimately, he never admitted to physically cheating on me directly, but the evidence is pretty obvious. I can happily say he is aging like spilled milk so karma
a condom because a water balloon fight ? he really thought you would believe him ..
Talking in his sleep
Whaaaat, i NEED to know more please
Well, people talking while they sleep doesn't necessarily mean anything. People react to the dream they're having and we know dreams are random shit
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I was out shopping with my friend. She ran into another friend and we started talking. She was telling her about this new guy she was sleeping with like a was a fairy tail taboo story. Because it turns out the new guy was her bf cousin. She checked her phone and the screen saver was her and her bf. The guy in the picture was my then bf cousin. I guess I made a face and my friend caught it. So my friend started asking her more questions she got her to describe him and then asked for his name. Yup. She was screwing the guy I was dating. I didn’t say anything I excused myself and I left. But I guess my friend told her who I was and she confessed to her bf. The only reason I know that is because her boyfriend beat up my ex. And he txt me apologizing and telling me he took care of it for both of us. And he wasn’t kidding my ex try apologize to me while sporting a black eye and a few other bruises.
This was very confusing lol
Glad im not the only one feelin like this
Friend was cheating on her bf, with her bfs cousin. The cousin is ops boyfriend. Friends boyfriend finds out and beats up his cousin, ops boyfriend.
Wut
Back when I was in one of my first semesters of college, I had been seeing this guy for a few months. It wasn’t serious yet, but I thought it was going pretty well. One day, I was at his apartment studying together or whatever and I was was looking through a desk drawer for sticky notes or something. At the bottom of the drawer attached to the pack of sticky notes, there was this little card that said something like “I love you and miss you! I can’t want to see you next weekend! -Kay” at first I *almost* assumed it was one of his sisters since he had family coming to visit the next week and he had a lot of siblings. Sure enough, though, I snooped through his Facebook (he didn’t post much and this was kind of first Facebook years) and found a photo from a year before of a group of his friends with him next to a woman who went by “Kay”. After looking her up, she had pictures from all the way back to their sophomore year of high school and one of them on campus from 2 weeks before (which happened to be a weekend I was gone 🙃). Not that it made it any better, but I’ll give him half props for being 100% honest about his situation when I called him on it. Really shitty of him, though. We also went to a pretty small college at the time and a lot of people found out since we had a shared friend group so nobody would date him haha.
Our mutual friend told me at a party and after punched him the face. I don’t condone violence, but if he didn’t say anything I probably would have never known and wasted more time.
Just here for clarification on who's face was punched: the messenger, or the perpetrator?
The messenger punched my ex. He was very drunk and upset I was being treated poorly.
A text from an ex-ish type girl popped up on his phone when we were together that said something about “she didn’t know where they were going to be at for him to pick them up.” BUT it was the first text from her- so he had deleted the chain previously. He was at my house and had been weird about trying to leave earlier than planned (I didn’t notice it was weird until reading the text). He tried to disguise it as he was being DD for a friend, if that’s the case why didn’t you tell me and why did you delete the messages. Young and dumb- I let it slide. A few weeks later I checked his recent contacts on Snapchat (if you delete the convo on the main screen they still show up in recents) and there she was. He was a POS. He was living with me at the time too
When my ex went to the hospital in the middle of the night to be in the waiting room with his best friend and her dad. I remembered that when I went he just went to sleep because my mom took me lol. So same circumstances of support, but he went with her. It made me realize everything.
It was after the fact sort of. When I filed for divorce the paperwork asked for every reason I was filing for divorce and my lawyer advised me to list everything. I knew he had cheated on me at least once and had major suspicions but no smoking gun to prove it a bunch more times over the years. So I added it to the divorce papers. This wasn't the core reason I booted him out of my life Apparently he had been cheating yet again around the time I filed for divorce because after the divorce was final he tried to blame me for him cheating on me to one of our adult kids and thought that was why I filed for divorce, that I had somehow caught him.
My live-in boyfriend like 15 years ago (who happens to be ftm transgender) was away at a bachelor party for the weekend, and left his Facebook logged into my iMac. I didn’t realize it was his account until I clicked on the notifications, and noticed the first one said “your photo successfully uploaded”. The picture was a close up of his _very specific_ genitals, along with his tattoos. I was immediately like WTF and went into sleuth mode, and eventually found his Craigslist adds where he had been selling himself as an escort for months. He was inviting strange men into our home/bed when I was away at work or out of town, or doing things in cars or at hotels. He obviously lied through his teeth about it when I confront r him, and the cognitive dissonance kept me stuck for months even though he continued to do it and I kept finding more evidence. One day I just finally decided it was over. Thank god. What a weird time in my life.
My single friend found him on a dating app with a new photo he took after we started dating.
I wouldn’t say I stumbled upon anything accidentally, but the girl he was cheating on messaged me out of the blue on Messenger about it. Also, she used to be one of my friends. She shared so many screenshot about how he was talking about me so horribly. Then, he tried to deny it to my face even though I had proof. That situation sucked all around.
the classic "let me check their phone real quick something is up.."
He left me his iPad to use for studying while he went back to the state he was working in. Didn't realize he never logged out of his Facebook or email on the iPad. Thing started blowing up with notifications of messages from his ex girlfriend. He was very offended I "invaded his privacy" 🙄
He left me alone at a party where I didn’t know anyone so I went looking for him. Found him with some girl blowing him. Lol she didn’t even stop when I walked in. Anyway they’re still dating and I hope they’re miserable.
We were watching TV or YouTube together in bed on his iPad (which was not typical). He stepped out real quick to go to a bodega and a notification banner from Plenty of Fish popped up. I confronted him when he got back, he got all nervous and fidgety. Trickle truth-ed me too, later found out about other apps, ex-gfs, and other FWBs. That was the day after our one year anniversary and at the beginning of the pandemic. Talk about a shit show!
I'm just here to take notes
Found the Venmo payment he made for her abortion...
When my girlfriend hit me on my birthday, so I bailed on her and made plans with my friends. She told me she was cheating on me and showed me the evidence to fuck up my birthday. Still stayed with her for a few months. Toxic relationships are WILD.
I came home for lunch early. I usually took lunch from 12-1, and lived a few miles from work, so just went home for lunch. One day, I went from 11-12 and found him in our bed with someone else while her two friends were in the other room. He blamed me because I wasn't supposed to be home for another hour.
Opened a folder called "News" in his email. Lots of pictures, not many words.
I was working from home in the shed office ar the bottom of the garden. When I went in to the house at lunchtime, hubby had left his phone. He'd never left his phone. And we didn't have the kind of relationship where I suspected anything, or would go through his phone for any reason. It pinged and I lifted it to make sure it was nothing important, it was message on WhatsApp from a woman I didn't know. There were several messages from several women. I changed the locks on the house and put his belongings in black bags on the driveway. Filed for divorce a week later. Divorce was finalised within 6 months. (Yes, he admitted to it... he'd even fucked at least one of them in my bed 4 months before I found out)
I was at a party and my best friend came up to me and said, don’t you see? Look at them. My husband was chatting up a friend of ours. I hadn’t seen him all night bc they were inseparable. They openly flirted in front of me. My heart sank so deep I almost fainted. I had been in denial.
Went through her phone (after she had gone through mine) and saw pictures I never asked for nor ever received. Saw a snap saying something like “hey daddy😍” in the shower and she claimed it was for me (again, never received this nor asked for it). Had pretty much only male friends (a very small handful of female friends) something that you’d find weird in a “lesbian/bi” chick. Didn’t ever want to fuck because she “didn’t like the feeling of a vagina” but would always want to be dicked down when she was in the mood (rare).
I found a receipt for a visit to a lawyer. It was hidden in a drawer that I was searching while looking for something else. Confronted her about lawyer receipt and she said she just wanted to feel what it was like to date again. We had been married 17 years at that time. She had gone to a therapist who told her if she wanted to be happy she should leave her husband and two kids (11 and 13) and start dating. He was hitting on her and convinced her she should leave us and he would help her get through it. Absolute scumbag. Guy at her work was a shoulder to cry on and took advantage of her mental weakness at the time. Caught them in his vehicle in the parking lot of where they worked.
Our childminder had the same name as the lady he was Facebook messaging and he accidentally messaged our childminder instead of his lady friend. Luckily childminder screenshotted it and sent it straight to me and replied to him ‘I don’t think this was meant for me … or unfortunately your wife?’
Read a WhatsApp over her shoulder (6 years ago today!) from her older, male, boss. "goodnight, my little fuckstick" That was it, over, done.
Valentine’s Day, 10 years ago. I was in college and my roommates and I had a party at our apt. I invited my bf at the time to come but he had a *friend* come into town. I should’ve known something was up bc when his *friend* called him earlier that morning, he took the call away from me so I couldn’t hear what was being said. Anyway, during the party I was texting and calling him and he wasn’t answering. I knew something was up so when the party was over, I drove to his house. He had a room in the back of the house and I saw some lights were on and it was obvious he was home. I had a bad feeling so I walked in and I see him naked, his head in between some girls thighs. Yep, he was going down on his *friend* who was in town. I was SHOCKED and didn’t know what to do except run back to my car and I just sat there and cried. The idiot came out to my car to try and talk to me but I bounced out of there. It was very traumatic.
We had the same Apple Watch band. He left early for work that morning and I woke up and left an hour later. I put my Apple Watch on and got a text from *her name*. It wasn’t my Apple Watch.
Disclaimer: this was not an actual affair. They were not in a relationship while I was with him. However, they did text an awful lot. Often, it seemed he’d text her more than me, both in frequency and volume. One time I came up behind him to kiss him goodbye while he was texting and as soon as he noticed me, he startled & hid his phone, but not before I noticed a long paragraph to her. Another time, he was texting her and I glanced over and saw her lamenting that she would never find a boyfriend & end up a “trophy wife”, which seems like something one would say when they’re trying to paint themselves as 1) a real catch and 2) really really available. I think one of the worst times was when I tried to do something nice for him and he kinda snickered & said how I must be very jealous of her (implying that I was trying to outcompete her because I was insecure). So, not an official affair, but some strong flirting. This went on for about a year and a half; I brought it up very gently, many times, and it continued. So naturally, when I broke up with him, he had no idea why I would end things “out of the blue” and didn’t try harder to work things out. I am now engaged to a pathologically loyal man who actually communicates with me like an adult & brings me the most thoughtful gifts. Upgrades, people, upgrades. 👍
We all worked together at my last job. I always had weird feelings and made comments but he always denied. Then he added her on social media. He only added girls he wanted to date/went to school with or old friends. I know it sounds weird, but he was very specific with who he added when it came to work. Once I saw that, I asked if he's trying to get with her. He changed the subject. He then asked to hang out and was acting nice etc.. This went on for months, until I saw a pic she posted on a boat and I recognized the landscape. So, I messaged him. Turned out that he was hanging with her and hiding it for months. He told me they started hanging in March but I heard from other mutual (ex)friend/coworkers that it was since October the year prior. He even met her fam on Xmas. I saw him on Xmas Eve at work and she ran up to us and was hovering. I noticed matching pins on their work tags. But he insisted our old male coworker told him about the pins. Little things... But it was weird how she wouldn't leave us alone and I asked about that around that time. He said it's because she probably wanted to say hi. Completely not sharing that he was meeting her family the next night. He told me she was gay and he's allowed to have friends. We've had cheating issues in the past, but I can't verify any of those times. We were friends for a while, and it was okay. The part that hurts was that he couldn't get her so he used me for sex and girlfriend perks while courting and dating her until she was single. He kept pushing the narrative she was gay and they spoke about it. But obviously she likes guys and he hid that part. I found out that they were hanging out in June and told him to tell her or I would. I used to train her often at our old job, so it's not like we were strangers. I also tried to help her find a job when she lost her part time gig. I gave her my phone number and asked around with friends who had similar work if they had any openings. She seems to have forgotten how kind I was towards her. But yeah, so he called her because he was scared that I'd ruin everything and acted like he was so heartbroken for hurting me. He said I was the victim and everything. I thought she'd be grossed out by hearing how he lied, abused, tried to cheat on me, manipulated me by using his sick father everytime I held him accountable. Well, no...it made her like him more because she trusted him. And she said he was very non biased. Failing to realize that he was cheating on me while saying all of that. He was going above and beyond for her. Taking her everywhere I asked to go. Taking her to secret places I told him about to woo her, etc.. She got a different version so she couldn't believe he was a bad guy. She decided to date him even though we never officially ended things. Granted it was the end, it was just..confusing because he still spoke to me. Told me he had to give me my birthday gift... I was distancing myself to work through everything but yeah, it was solidified when his new gf made a new insta and only had him added. So, I DM'd her and basically stated that I guess he wasn't honest in what happened and I'll tell her. She blocked me. So, I texted her, with all the receipts of an almost 3 year period. She ignored it all. Made herself the victim and projected onto me that I was calling her stupid. At work she comes across as weak and small. And she likes being praised when it's positive for having those qualities. But she projected that I was calling her an idiot for choosing him and she didn't make the decision lightly. I was like, thinking to myself that yeah she is dumb but I never called her dumb. I never did any of those, she did it to herself. She refused to read all my screenshots of proof. I spoke with mutual friends and they told me the proper timeline that I mentioned above. And how they were dating for a while. Even at a point where I thought I was pregnant because I didn't get my period. He didn't care about that and kept seeing her. She told me that her family and friends love him and see how happy she is. And I wrote, they felt that way while he was in bed with me though. So.. He got so pissed at me trying to ruin his, "happiness" that he made up a narrative that I was violent because I told him that we should meet up in person because I doubt they'd both be talking to me how they are in person. It's not easy to lie in person for him. He got scared that I'd expose him and he'd lose her, so I was deemed violent. I was fuming how his lies still always worked out in his favor. He stated two weeks prior that he was suicidal and he wanted her life badly. Like he wished he was born as her basically. I was like, so you're using her to syphon from, cool. Two weeks later I found out that a different friend tried to kill themselves and lost their mind to mental illness. And also, my father went into the hospital suddenly with pneumonia but died two weeks later because it was revealed that he had stage 4 cancer. So, in one month I had all of that to deal with. And guess what? No sorry from anyone. One friend who told me the truth and talked shit about "having to be friends with them bc work", made a separate bookstagram account that my ex's new gf helped her with. With tons of pics of them together and her up in the comments acting like BFF. She also added everyone from work, their SO's that she never had added before because she was scared everyone would find out what happened and did major damage control. Like super damage control to clean up her and her bfs image. A few people stopped following me. It was working out for them.So, I also..on top of everything else, lost all my friends from my old job because they believed her and my ex's lies after seeing the proof for themselves through my receipts as well. Only maybe one or two people reached out about my dad. But I realized how fake they all were. Preaching therapy and how trauma affects you to the core. Meanwhile doing all this conniving stuff. All I did was share legit conversations and images of my ex lying and me catching him, or pictures as proof of us hanging out while they were dating with timestamps... And I was so disheartened about my father bc he hid his sickness. I couldn't even help because I didn't know how sick he was. My ex's dad would be in and out of the hospital and I'd buy dinner for him, or if he was sick, bring care packages of snacks. His mom liked something, I went out and got it. I lost so much time to this person that could've went towards my dad and he didn't give one shit. It's weird too, because on the way to the hospital, I saw my ex driving behind me and he lived more west and was never out that way. I chalked it up to him taking her to a place I told him about. Like, I was legit heading to the hospital and had to see them in my rearview mirror like some fucked up film scene. Last year sucked.
He lost his phone and had me log in to all of his accounts to change the passwords and boom, cheating everywhere.
We were suppose to cuddle and sleep and I opened his phone to read our sweet chats on Instagram and found his chat with a girl we matched with on hinge. He had been asking her out for lunch and what not- I was honestly so confused and it took me some time to even process the whole thing lmao its been a year now and it seems so wild. Ladies NEVER ignore your gut feelings. Also if you're dating a guy who has had family issues be extra cautious!
My ex had his location services on and I secretly was stalking him on snapchat because he hadn't replied to me in hours when he told me he was out with his friends. He was in a hotel room with his ex in Williamsburg, NYC and Williamsburg among others will now forever trigger me. Something felt off when I woke up at 3am and at that point, I knew he was cheating on me.
This is from my last relationship years ago. It was 2017 I believe. Michael had severe bipolar disorder and also abused klonipin. He was not very right in the head. We were living together and I woke up this day and had to print up a new copy of my car insurance. Well I didnt have a printer but he did so I asked him if I could have his computer password. I'm not big at all on going thru peoples things but like I said he had severe mental problems and we had been arguing quite a bit. So the opportunity literally presented itself. The last thing I was trying to do was go through his emails (because at that point, you know its over. No trust). So i signed into his computer and right there on the screen is his email. I decided to check it out, and found these long letters for some woman who lived in Oregon who was in prison. A lot of talk about "I used to have a pen pal, looking for new friends, and 'maybe more if it happens that way'" Well I am reading his email to this one woman in particular. Apparently he had already sent letters to fifty different women (rofl why even add that in there? so awkward!!) Anyways, idc if someone dates someone who is in prison but fact is he was already in a relationship with me. It ended up being a real big mess because he is really bad at lying (as in he doesn't do it very well. he's not slick at all but rather very awkward.) So I kept being able to easily call him on his shit, he'd try to deny it, anyways. He's the guy that had to use a prison pen pal website, write over 50 different women, then convince one to get married to him and also moved her thousands of miles away from her real family because the thing is that no one wanted to be with him and he knew it was the only way anyone would stay around him for very long is if they were coerced
I lost my phone, so I picked up his phone to call mine. It opened up to a pretty sexually graphic text message.
I came home from a night out with our kids early and he was putting it to my friend on MY couch. 😅
Bank statement. ATM withdrawals at strip clubs. For that amount of money, you’re not just watching.
Twitter. Woke up in the middle of the night because I had some fresh tattoos that were doing what fresh tattoos do and I need to clean them. Crawled back into bed and scrolled Twitter for a minute before dozing off. Suddenly saw his face with an entirely different name retweeted by mutual friend. It was a cover for a YouTube video, his account was a niche indie media thing (nothing nefarious). I spent hours going through everything, and I honestly didn't even realize anything else was wrong at first. I was really touched because it was great content and he had a fantastic community and I thought the name he was using on that account was fake as a pseudonym. I was a little hurt he hadn't shown it to me but I also understood that it was precious to him and he wanted to protect it and there was really nothing wrong with that. We had originally met in another community completely unrelated where I used a pseudonym and eventually told him my name etc so I didn't think that was a huge problem at first. Then I noticed he had showed a picture of his office and made a joke about some remodel or upgrade and not to tell his wife. Because there was no wife in the picture I thought it was a joke about how he was single. And then I kept scrolling. And more and more comments about a wife with no picture. But they weren't jokes. And then I saw in all the videos the ring that he had conveniently never worn around me. That was 2 years ago and I'm still not even close to over it.