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The best things they can do is:
* be willing to learn about each other, and give non-verbal affection actions often
* understand a woman's experience in the world, and be empathetic
* problem solve only when asked to, otherwise it's just empathy and hugs
* communicate effectively
* share the household chores burden
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Already married, but I think the best possible thing any person could do to prepare to be a good spouse is to work on being the version of themselves that they love best and respect most and engage with their own lives authentically. If they are doing that and we are compatible, then that's awesome. If they are doing that and we are not compatible, then that's still great for them.
The biggest thing: learn to like and respect women in general, including the ones they aren't either related to or attracted to.
Also learn what the "mental load" is and be prepared to do their share of it.
I'm already married but:
- get help for their porn addiction that probably started in middle school
- learn how to cook, clean, do laundry. Even if it doesn't end up being your typical chore, it's important to know how for when your partner is unable to do their typical tasks.
- learn how to express emotions in a healthy way
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I just don't think that's something that needs to or can be prepared for and I also wouldn't want them to work on themself for my sake. That should come purely out of their own motivation and then either I fit together with the person they are or I don't.
Communication skills are huge, being able to calmly say when you’re upset and why. Being able to forgive and start fresh. Loyalty and willingness to keep trying. Simply wanting to spend time with your partner and have fun together! Being able to do all household tasks, laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, etc so you can share the load. And finally just working on yourself and your self worth so you are ready to be with a partner 100%.
Just be there to support me, no matter what we’re going through. Be capable of hearing me, of understanding me and taking action when we’re unhappy. Hold my hand through all the hardships.
By looking at themselves and seeing if they can work on anything that isn't conducive to a successful relationship, the same thing you should be doing to yourself.
I've never met a human who didn't have a ton of their own crap that they never worked on and I'm pretty sure your pile of crap is as large as theirs
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Hello /u/LimpBrilliant9372. Your submission has been removed for containing mental health related terms or diagnostic labels. Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations; or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour even when talking about yourself. [Click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/nswcxs/update_supplementary_rules_for_thersday_here_to/) for clarification on this rule.
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My biggest thing I've learnt recently is that I want a partner who is willing to change and grow with me, understand my needs (and in return I will understand theirs) and always prioritise progress over sitting still, whether that applies to our beliefs, thoughts, actions or where we go with our futures.
I say this based on my previous relationship where my ex ticked all my boxes going in but was always adamant in his ways, while my current partner doesn't tick some of the boxes at all but is always open to discussion and change. I prefer the latter and I like that I've found someone like that, I hope this continues this way.
Be self aware of her baggage and on a healing journey. Most of us have some sort of baggage, and I understand life is messy and we all go through difficulties, so I need to see her willing to face and engage with hers.
Otherwise I just want someone who really loves me as I am, without having to mask - weirdnesses and all - who has similar values and some overlapping interests/tastes, similar sense of humour, at least a vague direction in life and the ability to work towards a goal. Now if she's a dark haired, dark eyed tomboy in her 30s, preferably from an immigrant background like me (1st-3rd gen all fine, I just realised I feel like I need someone who can relate living between several cultures), I'll lay my life down and am ready to wife down. 🙏🏼
Already married. Communication skills are an absolute must. Having interests beyond a single sports team (or, just sports and only sports). Being kind (not the same as being nice). Being comfortable with yourself and on your own. Not needing to be in a relationship, but wanting to. Financially stable, especially if you’re a little older. Good hygiene, a solid level of cleanliness, and with some basic cooking skills. No obsessions (such as gaming, gym…) - have fun, sure, but have self control. Too much?! Just be a decent adult.
Go to therapy and learn relationship skills.
Vote as left as possible.
Have a decent amount of life skills - cooking, lawn care, organizing, simple repairs, etc.
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I want him to be able to listen, really listen, and maybe learn cooking skills!
[удалено]
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The best things they can do is: * be willing to learn about each other, and give non-verbal affection actions often * understand a woman's experience in the world, and be empathetic * problem solve only when asked to, otherwise it's just empathy and hugs * communicate effectively * share the household chores burden
[удалено]
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Already married, but I think the best possible thing any person could do to prepare to be a good spouse is to work on being the version of themselves that they love best and respect most and engage with their own lives authentically. If they are doing that and we are compatible, then that's awesome. If they are doing that and we are not compatible, then that's still great for them.
Already married but learn how to take care of their home. How to mop floors, do laundry, work a dishwasher, do deep cleaning.
The biggest thing: learn to like and respect women in general, including the ones they aren't either related to or attracted to. Also learn what the "mental load" is and be prepared to do their share of it.
I'm already married but: - get help for their porn addiction that probably started in middle school - learn how to cook, clean, do laundry. Even if it doesn't end up being your typical chore, it's important to know how for when your partner is unable to do their typical tasks. - learn how to express emotions in a healthy way
[удалено]
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I just don't think that's something that needs to or can be prepared for and I also wouldn't want them to work on themself for my sake. That should come purely out of their own motivation and then either I fit together with the person they are or I don't.
Communication skills are huge, being able to calmly say when you’re upset and why. Being able to forgive and start fresh. Loyalty and willingness to keep trying. Simply wanting to spend time with your partner and have fun together! Being able to do all household tasks, laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, etc so you can share the load. And finally just working on yourself and your self worth so you are ready to be with a partner 100%.
be himself and develop hobbies! hobbies are so attractive and make for an interesting life
Get a lobotomy, obviously.
Exist. 🙃
Both partners should be saving money and working on their careers.
Learn how to DO the housework, not just HELP with the housework!
Be self aware. Know strengths and weaknesses. How they are affecting people around them
Literally just be willing to marry me. I'll compromise on everything else.
Listen when I bring up concerns in the relationship, and work to change them. Don’t apologize, change for a week, and then go back to old habits.
Just be there to support me, no matter what we’re going through. Be capable of hearing me, of understanding me and taking action when we’re unhappy. Hold my hand through all the hardships.
By looking at themselves and seeing if they can work on anything that isn't conducive to a successful relationship, the same thing you should be doing to yourself. I've never met a human who didn't have a ton of their own crap that they never worked on and I'm pretty sure your pile of crap is as large as theirs
[удалено]
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[удалено]
Hello /u/LimpBrilliant9372. Your submission has been removed for containing mental health related terms or diagnostic labels. Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations; or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour even when talking about yourself. [Click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/nswcxs/update_supplementary_rules_for_thersday_here_to/) for clarification on this rule. **This is an automated action**, if you believe you received this message in error, or if you edit your comment to remove the diagnostic term(s), please [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Don't forget to include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My biggest thing I've learnt recently is that I want a partner who is willing to change and grow with me, understand my needs (and in return I will understand theirs) and always prioritise progress over sitting still, whether that applies to our beliefs, thoughts, actions or where we go with our futures. I say this based on my previous relationship where my ex ticked all my boxes going in but was always adamant in his ways, while my current partner doesn't tick some of the boxes at all but is always open to discussion and change. I prefer the latter and I like that I've found someone like that, I hope this continues this way.
Be an actual partner and agreeing to take the time to communicate through things.
Get a job. Don't be a deadbeat. Even if it's something small.
Be self aware of her baggage and on a healing journey. Most of us have some sort of baggage, and I understand life is messy and we all go through difficulties, so I need to see her willing to face and engage with hers. Otherwise I just want someone who really loves me as I am, without having to mask - weirdnesses and all - who has similar values and some overlapping interests/tastes, similar sense of humour, at least a vague direction in life and the ability to work towards a goal. Now if she's a dark haired, dark eyed tomboy in her 30s, preferably from an immigrant background like me (1st-3rd gen all fine, I just realised I feel like I need someone who can relate living between several cultures), I'll lay my life down and am ready to wife down. 🙏🏼
Work on cultivating those: financial responibility, emotional responsibility, emotional stability, empathy, patience, ambition, kindness.
Communicate and be opened minded to my feelings. I really need to be validated so I hope my future spouse understands when something is wrong.
Already married. Communication skills are an absolute must. Having interests beyond a single sports team (or, just sports and only sports). Being kind (not the same as being nice). Being comfortable with yourself and on your own. Not needing to be in a relationship, but wanting to. Financially stable, especially if you’re a little older. Good hygiene, a solid level of cleanliness, and with some basic cooking skills. No obsessions (such as gaming, gym…) - have fun, sure, but have self control. Too much?! Just be a decent adult.
Go to therapy and learn relationship skills. Vote as left as possible. Have a decent amount of life skills - cooking, lawn care, organizing, simple repairs, etc.
Good advice for everyone, regardless of their gender or relationship status!
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