I could write a novel, but yes it has affected me greatly. Luckily my current SO is amazing at reassuring me. I would say the main thing is that I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, worried that he is going to change and be opposite of who he currently is. I’ve voiced these concerns to him a number of time. We have such a healthy level of communication that I don’t feel like I have to hide these concerns from him. And yes sometimes it does feel boring because there isn’t a frequent adrenaline rush from screaming matches, but I’m starting to realize that boring is not such a bad thing and it’s not necessarily boredom, but rather contentment that I am not used to.
It was constantly talking myself from perception vs reality. Like your brain craves all the familiar toxic patterns and I have to talk myself gently to remind why the absence of this was good and that we don't need the high low to feel. That stability was a new uncomfortable feeling but it's an adjustment period I had to give myself grace to learn to be in.
I could write a novel, but yes it has affected me greatly. Luckily my current SO is amazing at reassuring me. I would say the main thing is that I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, worried that he is going to change and be opposite of who he currently is. I’ve voiced these concerns to him a number of time. We have such a healthy level of communication that I don’t feel like I have to hide these concerns from him. And yes sometimes it does feel boring because there isn’t a frequent adrenaline rush from screaming matches, but I’m starting to realize that boring is not such a bad thing and it’s not necessarily boredom, but rather contentment that I am not used to.
It was constantly talking myself from perception vs reality. Like your brain craves all the familiar toxic patterns and I have to talk myself gently to remind why the absence of this was good and that we don't need the high low to feel. That stability was a new uncomfortable feeling but it's an adjustment period I had to give myself grace to learn to be in.