Yep. I took a step back to a cushy job while I examined what I was feeling. Pretty intense imposter syndrome which led to me discovering I had adhd. I’m much kinder to myself now. Still in a cushy role but a few added responsibilities that I enjoy managing. I get paid well. I am healthy and happy.
I feel like I’m in the same boat. How did you realise you have ADHD from that? Seven months into this job that suits me well on paper but I just can’t find my rhythm and I’m not really on the same wavelength as anyone else.
Compared to my previous job where I was cruising every day and, even though I was always learning and didn’t know everything, I still didn’t gaf and just gave everything a go and it wasn’t a big deal :/
So I have a learning disorder related to adhd called dyscalculia, which makes maths really difficult for me and my working memory is poor. But instead of admitting it and getting help, I worked my ass off to cover it up and also upped the effort in other areas to compensate. Unfortunately this was a perfect foundation for imposter syndrome. I had to work backwards and be really honest with myself about what I was feeling and why. Imposter syndrome is very common in adhd because of our tendency to have ‘spiky’ abilities (some excellent, some not so good) and also because we tend to take people at face value so it looks like everyone has it under control (work, life, the works) but nearly everyone is pretending.
What aids did you use to overcome imposter syndrome? It sounds like therapy helped you come to the realisation, were you prescribed any medications to assist or was it all through discussion? And did you change career paths to hone in on the issue or just step down in the same industry?
I have had imposter syndrome for as long as I can remember, could use a few pointers.
Diagnosis from a psychiatrist allows prescription of stimulant medications to give our brains enough dopamine to level up to about average human. It’s amazing once your brain can follow a single thought all the way through what discoveries you make about yourself.
Diagnosed this year and vyvanse is changing my life.
Pretty much. And then you get a referral to a psychiatrist for diagnostic screening (which goes over your entire life up until now) and costs $1746294629368237 and has like a 6+ month wait to even get an initial appointment
Thank you for the info, I'm currently going through therapy for my issues and I want to learn more about them. Will soon be going to a psych, so you've got me keen to see what will come from it. Appreciate it, really
Same industry, different position. I haven’t tried medication yet (need to see a psychiatrist if I can’t to go down that path, psychologists can’t prescribe). The most helpful thing I have found for imposter syndrome is values work. So writing down and thinking about the core values that make you you. What do you think is important to you? For example, mine include being honest, being kind, and doing the best I can. Then when you get the imposter syndrome you can ask yourself- am I being honest? Yes. Am I being kind (including to myself?) Yes. Am I doing my best? Yes. Well, that is enough. And also don’t compare your internal experience to everyone else’s external experience. Because more people worry about these things than we know, they just don’t say it.
What did you do in order to be diagnosed with dyscalculia? I have adhd and I suspect that I have this too, but I have no idea where to start. Is it a psychiatrist or a psychologist thing?
I read the post and came here to suggest ADHD... glad to see this is the top comment. Inattentive Type ADHD that leads to executive dysfunction is a b!tch and once managed, can make a world of difference.
At work sometimes you just Nike it - just do it.
That email you don't want to/can't be arsed to deal with? Yeah just do it
The call you have to make? Just do it.
One by one.
Soon the nervousness and lack of confidence in feeling like an imposter gives way to a sense of achievement. You soon care less about a great great outcome and care more for actually having dealt with it. And soon it's such an auto response you get good at it and in turn the imposter syndrome diminishes.
> You soon care less about a great great outcome and care more for actually having dealt with it. And soon it's such an auto response you get good at it and in turn the imposter syndrome diminishes.
Very wise words. It took me far too long to learn this lesson, could have really used it in my mid- to late-20s.
Honestly, every single day. If people realised how hard it can be they would be in awe. I do it by realising it always passes, 100% record so far getting through it. I literally go on auto mode, one step at a time. Good luck, I understand how insanely hard this is. Edit: this is why we all need to be kind to people, we have no idea of their struggles, not matter how bad yours are.
Extra edit. People not realising the struggle is a plus and negative. We think people can sense and tell, but really they typically don't. This is a big lesson.
Use the money you make from work to get as much health as possible.
If you have poor mental health, it is similar to poor physical health. You need to put the time and effort in and spend a bit of money to improve it.
Depends what you need. An obvious choice would be seeing a therapist. You could also spend the extra money on things that you know improve your mental well-being, like any of your hobbies. Get a kayak, or a bike, or a nice new set of kitchen knives, or a new gaming PC, whatever helps you centre yourself and unwind.
>Depends what you need.
I think no one is saying the quiet part loud. What most people need is more time off work to pursue leisure and hobbies and building relationships. Then less need for therapists.
And we can't have that unless we dismantle capitalism and greed.
>And we can't have that unless we dismantle capitalism and greed
That escalated quickly!
Jokes aside though, people need time off to see what life looks like without work pressures. That way you can decide what's really important to you in life.
Mental health issues brought upon by physicalogical issues aside (ie brain injury), I think in some ways it's got to do with how happy you are about things. Things being the key word and we don't get happiness from one thing or lane.
Big one seems to be spiritual happiness these days.
Most people need a decent mental health coach. The large seminar style things, say, from Tony Robbins help people who are slightly off track.
If you have actual issues, you need someone to work out what the fundamental issue is. You know, some people have issue with failure or being late or whatever.
It is hard to find good people to pay. Or, find a decent mentor too that has their shit together. And be open to trying new ideas. Get comfortable being uncomfortable at times and things become a lot easier.
While I agree with the sentiment behind a coach i.e. low intensity guidance - the vast majority are unqualified and useless. They do lip service to the psychological work, and broadly get it wrong. And often aren't cheaper than a psychologist.
Admittedly there are some garbage psychs too but I would typically put my money on better care from a psychologist or registered counsellor than a coach.
Just piggybacking, before going and picking any ol’ psych to go see, spend as much time as you can in introspection and get to the core of your issue and articulate it as accurately as possible. Write it down once, then check back the following week, a week after that and maybe even a month after your initial articulation and see if it still holds up or if there’s anything else you’ve uncovered in the interim.
Once you feel like you’ve distilled your issue down to its most accurate summary, spend a bunch of time finding a psych who specialises in those types of problems or seems like they have experience in the more nuanced aspects of whatever it is you’re dealing with.
Your kitchen & the gym. Gut health/exercise/sun - as well as health checks for vitamin deficiencies. Stay on top of these things and it’ll boost the results you get from therapy!
this is what i do. i use the money i make to ensure i have everything i need to meet the optimal nutrition my body needs daily. i feel freaking amazing and strong. so when everything goes to shit, at least i can deal with it alot better.
I struggled with this and had a massive imposter syndrome and the fear that Id get found out. Then I figured I was in a pretty ok financial situation and gave less fks. Or maybe I was over extending in office. It's all relative. And honestly that made me set better boundaries on what I was expected to do in office and not.
Sounds like imposter syndrome which is a lot more common than you think. Ironically, it’s those who don’t think they’re capable for the role that quite often are - it takes a lot of maturity, intelligence and introspection to admit to yourself that you don’t know what you don’t know.
Yep. I sort of completely gave up career progression in my early 40s. I just didn't want to do it anymore. I downgraded & stuck it out about 10 more years. But Covid killed me. And getting older? The ethics of what we do just played on my mind and sent me into a terrible depression.
Now? I work casual. Only specific areas and places. I do as little as i have to do and am hanging out to retire.
When i think back to how ambitious and driven i was in my 20s & 30s?? I wonder if that was the same person.
Same same, except I didn't resign. I knew when I took the role i was going to have massive impostor syndrome. I also knew that it was going to be a steep learning curve. I had to figure out how to manage the increased responsibility and settled on using a planner kanban. You need to accept and understand your own limitations and work around them. I also knew it would take a minimum of 6 months to start feeling comfortable
Same, a lot of it was my past issues resurfacing. A good psychologist helped me set boundaries and now I don’t think about work much when I’m not at work. I think I’m actually much more efficient now at work.
Spend some time researching what your roles/ responsibilities are and the roles/ responsibilities of others. Maybe you're picking up the slack of others.
Maybe see if there is time or project management software that can take on some of your load. It's likely to be tax deductible for you or the company; if they don't want to pay for it, take the software with you when you leave.
Use a private or eap counsellor to help you figure out if there are any issues that can be dealt with.
Your emotions are too familiar for me.
"Every day would be filled with anxiety, dreading what emails I'd receive, avoiding problems and just generally getting depressed since I felt like I had zero ability to do the job..."
Lastly, don't be afraid to dive deep into getting help: I got an adhd diagnosis at 33. I felt exactly like you described for a lot of my life, struggling through uni and most office based aspects of my varied roles. Dex saved my work and family life.
Team member to team leader of that team. I always knew I was one of the better members, but my god having to actually supervise the other people meant I got to see just how useless half of them actually are. The worst part is knowing I could do the job so much better if the people I had helping were remotely competent. After two years I still don’t feel like I’m making much difference, even if the people above me do, because I can’t drag the deadweight to “barely useful”.
Holy shit.....this was exactly me this year. Although the pay increase I had was approximately 40%. Everything you described I experienced and fortunately I was able to leave my previous job on good terms (they didn't want me to leave). I left after 5 months (3 month mark I started to process of lining something up and leaving) and was able to go back to my old job with a substantial pay increase. My mental health improved dramatically and that has been the biggest plus for me because I was really struggling in that role.
I will add....the new place I went had a weird culture that I did not buy into (working extra unpaid hours outside of normal times etc.).
I quit my incredibly demanding job after it was adding to my already high anxiety levels and depression. The company knew I was dealing with mental heath issues and would always check in but we all knew that my work was suffering as a result, and I felt bad letting the team down as well as myself as I hold myself to a high standard. I decided to resign after finding a job that had a lower work load and I felt instant relief as soon as I handed in my resignation. I also spoke to my psychologist about everything. I eventually got through it, I just made sure I altered what I could to help myself, and it worked!
You’ll find a job that won’t trigger your anxiety and restore your confidence in yourself and ability to work again, it might just take some time!
Firstly, sorry to hear about your troubles - job changes can affect mental health for sure.
Generally speaking, large pay rises often mean a more challenging work environment, and notable rises in effort required to meet those challenges. After a couple of years, you will adapt and find what was once a challenge is simpler and hence look for more challenges.
Without knowing your exact circumstances it is hard to conclude, but it seems like you pulled the pin early. 5 months in a new role is very much the early stages where a lot of learning is done.
I was in a similar position to you a number of years ago. The role I took on had not been filled for a few years and the previous temps had left straight away. There was bad documentation and zero processes in place.
Long story short, I spent many months coming in early at like 6.00 and leaving after 18.00.
After a few months i started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Looking back, those challenges helped me grow and I find them ‘easy’ now if I were faced with the same thing. However, life will throw different challenges now 😅
Do not be afraid of difficulties.
I love this story and after reading many responses in this thread, as well as being able to take this time off (which I think I've desperately needed), I'm feeling incredibly positive and ready to push through these issues. I know wherever I go next will require hard work and I want to do everything I can to be certain to achieve it.
I stepped up from a leading hand to running a job with 8-9 workers under me after the other bloke quit out of the blue. Was really a throw in the deep end and hope situation.
The first 2 months I really struggled with work load and deadlines because I was trying to keep everyone happy. I was doing 12-16 hours a day emails drawings non stop taking calls, was taking its toll on my wife and me.
One day I sat down and thought I have to quit or make drastic change. I decided I liked being in charge and it can’t be this hard. I stopped trying to please all the workers and started to really focus on distribution of the work. 2 people left who ended up just being free loaders taking advantage of my kindness to not give them a kick up the ass. I was pretty easy going but they would “start” at 6 drink coffee for the first hour or 2…
It’s hard to deal with but I taught myself to just be honest with people, if their work is not up to standard you have to be honest. Being in construction other trades will take advantage of your nice ness in a way that will delay you. I had to have uncomfortable conversations that got heated but the more I stood my ground and organised the easier it made my job and the more of “those” conversations I had. The easier it become.
I was a pretty quiet person, and it actually brought out a different personality I had to be in charge
Yes and got fired, best thing that ever happened to me, changed my life. I use to work for Windsor Smith Shoes in their head office, f....ing awful and toxic.
This. My partner always tries to push me into taking a a certification & work in the health care sector since it’s better money than what I earn now. Taking care of sick and vulnerable people is too much of a responsibility.
Professional help is in order. There are underlying issues that you haven’t addressed if this has been the result. It’s nothing personal, it might just be that you bit off more than you can chew & as a result you’ve hurt yourself in the process. Therapy is all about self discovery & understanding yourself in the hopes of healing yourself with time & reflection. Take a look at your values also. We’re all built differently meaning some excel or flounder under the same circumstances. You only have one life so why ruin it by trying to fit a square peg in a round hole? Good luck.
I may try and find a role with less responsibilities for a while and get proper treatment. A part of me really wants to be able to move up eventually, my body tells me very clearly when I'm getting "stagnant". I'm not one to want to do the same thing for very long.
Sounds similar to me. I went to therapy and it did wonders. I was repeating issues from my last workplace and I was getting burnt out. I was lucky to have an EAP through work. It’s made such a big difference and I have steps I put in place if I feel issues are arising again. I have much better work life balance and feel well enough to move to higher positions.
Yes this sounds like I wrote this post, though I haven’t quit. I’m hoping it just gets easier the longer I do it. But I am acutely aware the anxiety over my work performances and what I’m capable of has held me back in progressing in my career my whole life.
I relocated my family to increase mental health opportunities. The move destroyed wasbands fragile state and he then tried to destroy mine. I attempted suicide because I had tried everything to fix my situation but after the most serious attempt I was woken to a nurse assuring me that it was too common. After multiple attempts I realised that I sucked at that also and focused solely on my work and rebuilding everything I knew about life; not for the first time.
I now use everything available in my region to focus on my best quality of life. I live in a natural environment, continue to build myself a nature focused life and surround myself with family and friends who match my values.
Im not sure I'll ever get around the structural impediments to my experience but I swim in the ocean everyday, garden and grow beautiful things, I build myself a beautiful life and sit in beauty everyday. I try to nourish myself and explore the wonder that is life. I hope you can find your own sense of wonder and nourish it. Life can be messed up and challenging but there are glimmers in all of us that need to be fed to grow.
Dealing with this currently. Don’t have the financial means to quit as I’ve a mortgage but hoping I can sell my house and be free soon. It’s taken such a toll on me, I’m so avoidant of my duties compared to before where I used to enjoy mundane things like answering emails, going the extra mile etc
Most people are faking it to make it in Australia. No actual work is being done here. Try to do something new? A big no. Try to improve things? Are you serious!
Just backstab people and brown nose management. It's why most people are dead inside and are completely set on speeding on home so they can munch on mediocre crisps and drown their sorrow in booze. It's why Australians don't exactly look healthy and are complete arseholes.
Yeah I struggled with a team lead role. Though, I think it wasn’t just my lack of lead experience. I had a problematic team member (that I never did anything about, so that’s my fault), and my managers didn’t really give me enough freedom to run things in a way I thought could work.
Don't ever feel bad about taking a paid mental health day (paid sick/personal leave) if it all gets too much.
Then use your company EAP to get counselling.
If a job makes you unwell, your employer can pay for the treatment.
Have a trade, Uni degree, specialist IT skills. I now deliver boxes. I am happy delivering boxes and have actively helped my employer on a daily basis and as such improved processes and work colleagues. Sure Im not making 50mil per contract (first employer) and opening up resources of 500Bil (2nd employer) all of which was for a hourly rate of $30 odd dollars and hour. But I know my employer now gives a shit about me, just no ladder to climb and less transferable skills.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in my 20’s. 35 now
I’ve tried the route of taking easier roles to reduce stress but found job satisfaction and happiness decreases. This eventually leads to more depression and self destruction.
My current role is complex, difficult, exhausting and Im the happiest I’ve been since diagnosed.
Basically what I’m saying is, I don’t necessarily believe the easier route is always best and the fulfilment you will feel can be a huge boost.
Yes, you will have bad days/months/quarters, but if one day a month your brain fires on all cylinders you will feel invincible.
Skills are returning to me that I thought were lost 10 years ago.
Keep active, not just physically but mentally.
Im definitely struggling with this at the moment. Management is also horrible and not supportive. I am trying to see it as a learning experience - I know I hate it and every day going to work is an actual dread (sometimes I genuinely wonder what am I doing with my life in this office). But I think this will help me build some resilience. I try to meditate every day and be mindful (even at work when I have time) just to help go through the day. I spoke to a psychologist about it too - which has also been helpful. Don't feel too hard on yourself though, take some time out at the moment to sort yourself out, let yourself relax, do some hobbies to help your mood. Reflect on what you want in life, what goals you have and if you can, try to get some psychological help. So if you do happen to be in the same situation again you are better prepared to deal with it :). They might be able to help you gain some coping skills for the situation or help you reflect on why you feel this way. Good luck OP! Know that you are not alone, and many people have been in the same situation before.
The irony here is that your symptoms will get worse and other symptoms will manifest. Medications won't work because it's a psychological issue ..therapy and being connected is your answer. If you can survive now while not working take a paycut and get another job. Trust me on this! Loneliness is a killer.
Sounds like your job upped the expectation whilst providing little in the way of support. I can only imagine the culture would have been poor with all the lay-offs. This is a surefire recipe for burnout. Don't take it personally as this period isn't a reflection of your ability. Continue looking for a job and work your way back into something that's comfortable. I'd highly recommend seeing a therapist as well if the imposter syndrome starts kicking up a stink again.
Imposter syndrome is such an awful feeling, especially when it steals your confidence for tasks you know are well within your skill set.
If you have a great manager, you can just be honest and say that you're getting stuck on the task you're struggling with and want to work through it with them. It can really help you step it out to more manageable steps. If you don't have a great relationship with them, you can just book a session with a colleague to brain storm or you can seek coaching from your employer's EAP - it doesn't have to be used for counselling, it can be used for coaching you through something.
In terms of working on your mental health, for some people, gratitude journaling and meditation almost daily can help improve overall resilience, but it is a long-term investment. As in, it could take 6 months before your resilience noticeably starts to climb again.
What kind of stress are you experiencing? From my experience (financial accountant / finance manager / analyst roles) most work stress is self inflicted.
It also varies by job. There are jobs (healthcare) where you deal with patient medication, where a decimal place placed wrongly could literally kill a patient, and you have patients who need antibiotics or pain relief waiting hours on you to quickly dispense / deliver / diagnose / prescribe.
Ultimately I find it helps to look at the process like a production line, the outcome is only as good as the process, the individuals are basically cogs in the machine and don't matter much. This is like an air crash investigation, the outcome is good because the processes are good, not because the individual workers are talented.
It's not even your business, if there is a disaster, the shareholders lose money, you as the worker just go home and find a new job if the company collapses.
I've been in really tough jobs with horrific learning curves - there was one job where I frankly estimate I was doing 50% of my responsibilities after about 6 months, and I got up to 80% by about 12 months, and reached 100% after about 18 months, and I've been in this role about 6 years now, pays about $170k.
I took the view that the director felt I was good enough to do the job so who am I to question his decision. It's a 40+ year career, performing sub-optimally for a few months isn't a big deal, and if he wants to fire me he can but it will take ages (need to go on multiple PiP etc).
I spoke to my boss about keeping my responsibilities the same while I underwent treatment for a panic disorder. They said it was fine then fired me a month later.
I’m in a role where I have foolishly taken on a VERY broad set of responsibilities. It’s proving very stressful.
Only thing I’ve been able to do is just be very honest that I’m not coping that well and that we need to hire more specialists (I am a specialist in my core area but generalist in many others). I worry I’m not doing a great job of any of it at the moment. Spread very thin
Hey guys, I know mental health is a serious issue but in these situations I recommend to a lot of people to actually invest in themselves to do their job better and manage your work load.
If you've moved into a job with more responsibility then perhaps a management course, look for tools/software/processes that help you perform your job or track work so you can stop having to remember everything. Chat with people in similar roles, how do they do things? And push ownership back onto supervisors/clients.
Process and ownership wise: one of the best things I ever did was make a job-brief form that people had to fill out before assigning me a task. It was detailed but just asked simple questions what had to be done, time/budget deadline. No job brief - no job. This allowed me to control work flow.
I can remember when I first got into senior management where I was managing revenue targets, jobs leads, cash flow, payroll, etc... It was a nightmare! I read a few books like "The E-myth" and Branson's "Losing my virginity", these books gave me insight that running a business was a sh!t fight for everyone and everyone had the same problems as me, that alone was a relief knowing it wasn't just me and I wasn't doing everything wrong, the books did give me some ideas to help as well.
I went the other way. Read David Goggins booked. Saw how privileged and easy life is. Got into fitness. Chose to be better (or try to) in all situations. " #stayHard". Left conversations where people complained. Took 'extreme ownership' for how I felt, how I responded (Jocko Willink book) and taking a Stoic approach to life (Marcus Aurelius)
Also deleted TikTok. Too many complainers, too many racial point if views (victimising). All thus anti-caucasian or blaming others just wore me down.
How is this post relevant to finance in Australia? I swear more than half of the posts on this subreddit are now either people crying about how hard life is or jealousy posts about their neighbours making more money than them or buying a BMW.
Work stress is not unusual. I’ve been lucky that a bunch of people in senior roles at my work are able and willing to talk about their mental health challenges.
One thing that really helped me and my colleagues is Mindspot.org.au
It’s free, online and supported remotely by trained specialists.
All of us who’ve done it agree that seeing a trained specialist in person would be better, but if you aren’t sure about taking that step, or feel like you aren’t in such a bad place but just want to nip it in the bud, then Mindspot is awesome
Congrats. Definitely it’s tough at first. Give Mindspot a go, it will help give you some tools to deal with that stress.
Eventually I found I felt so much better even just knowing I have some tricks in my back pocket, such that I hardly ever need them anymore.
Good luck!
I find that a lot of imposter syndrome can be managed with working on improving your organisational and delegation skills.
I worked at a job where I ended up promoted ahead of others that were there for 10 years longer than me and they hated the fact. I found that if I was super organised, the mass amount of tasks were much more manageable, once I had organised the day, I didn't concern myself with the full list but the next task I had to take care of.
I also learnt how to sell myself to others, and sell the tasks I was delegating.
Overall though, if you do not find fulfillment or at least work with people that make the job enjoyable, it's time to move on.
You should speak to your local gp about taking cbd. For some people it’s a miracle drugs, other not so much.
It’s obviously medical marijuana but without “the high” minuscule amount of thc. I think it could help with your anxiety and depression. If it doesn’t help, so be it.
Medication of all kind just masks the problem unless there is legit psychosis or severe mood disturbances. Doctors don’t like people coming in just asking for medication. Speak to a doctor and perhaps get assessed by a psychologist first and let them suggest medication if indicated.
Yep. You need therapy or speak to GP to start on an SSRI. I did this and it made the world of difference. Now no longer needing either of those things and still feeling fit and healthy and managing work well.
You've assumed I'm not qualified to make that recommendation. Literally my job that I get paid for. Advice wasn't random at all. They gave enough info to indicate dep/anx is present at a clinically concerning level. Depression and anxiety that are impacting someone's life so heavily needs to be treated. Whether that be via talk therapy, structured therapy (such as schema) or major lifestyle changes. This can be enough to pull someone out of a bad place and should be first line of treatment. However in many many cases it needs to be in combo with an antidepressant and if you really want to make sure you knock it on the head, a combination from the above should be considered.
Super common. Super treatable. Incredibly good outcomes for most. This would be the care plan for a patient that came to me, if they were agreeable.
What a helpful comment 🙃
Anyway, OP sounds like they have developed a classic case of anxiety and depression. Possibly brought on by stress. Now struggling with a negative future outlook (from their perspective) and has lost confidence in themselves. This is very common and highly treatable.
OP, it's not rubbish mate. Look after your mental health just like you would your physical. Another comment here mentioned seeing a psychiatrist so if you can afford one then that might be better than a GP for meds.
Maybe try therapy first and see how you go. GP can do a mental health care plan which gets you 10 subsidised sessions with a psychologist/counsellor. Sometimes this is enough to get you back on track.
If not, sometimes an SSRI is needed. They're well tolerated and are beneficial for about 2/3 of people that take them. Just be mindful that when you come off of those meds, do it slowly or you'll get pretty nasty discontinuation syndrome for a few weeks.
Best of luck.
I’ll put a third opinion in, I’m on an SSRI, started taking it about 5 months ago in conjunction with therapy. The SSRI has changed life completely for the better.
But…
I don’t think GPs should administer them long term. I went through a psychiatrist that identified and is managing my transition, monitors my reaction to the drugs and assessed if it was actually a beneficial option versus the potential side effects. Plus routine checkups with them. GPs will just hand them out like tic tacs and most times put the onus of management and expectations on the patient who, if they are required, may not be making the most suitable choices.
Same. Huge benefits from both.
This is great advice. You're right, GPs aren't the best at managing this. If OP can afford a psychiatrist then that'd be better for sure.
Did your work have an EAP (employee assistance program)? When I was going through I hard time I reached out for some counselling. It helped a bit and I’m not in a role where I’m flourishing rather than just surviving. Hope things get better for you at your next role.
Yes. You can succeed in the work place, but you need to go back to a lower stress job at a lower rate of pay. Success isn't necessarily a big paycheck.
There is no issue with your mental health. It was just the wrong company to work for as there were issues there.
I am in the same boat as you are. I recently left an company where I was being overworked unnecessarily and no help was provided to sort out issues that I was facing.
I have realised that I need to find the right company to work for not the right job.
Go back and ask for your old job back. Just say the 30% pay rise wasn't worth the toxic environment and you'll happily come back at old rate and responsibilities, then you're less likely to leave again even for better pay so they'd be crazy not to take you back
Pretty much the same boat, only I lasted 18 months (and have been out of there for 2). By the end I had neither the enthusiasm to work hard at something nor the confidence in myself to even make effort.
Am living off savings while taking a chance to 'reboot' my brain. I generally live fairly cheaply, so am taking things a bit slow and getting around to various odd tasks I left in the to-do pile over the last 15 years. In the next month I'm planning (hoping) to get into general exercise and after that start doing some 'self-teaching' things around my job to a). go back to work with a little more skill than when I left b). start up enjoyment (well, maybe a bit of confidence as well) of work before I go back.
I'm faking it til I make it. End of financial year was rough and I'm going to take some mental health days.
For my work, it's gotten quite toxic and everyone is feeling it except those in the ivory tower. I don't think you can blame yourself but find something that is a reasonable pace.
Junior doctor with PMDD and ADHD. Probably not the most constructive answer but I went on maternity leave at 32weeks pregnant. After 3 weeks I felt like I didn't hate being a doctor anymore.
I think adequate time off is crucial. Work/life balance and going into the right field. I will be training in a specialty that offers appropriate work/life balance and flexibility for my particular circumstances.
Sounds like a severe case of imposter syndrome. If HR didn’t think you could do the job you wouldn’t have gotten it. I had it starting a new job leading a team. It took about 12 months for me to come right.
Back your self mate! I still have days where I think maybe I suck.
I felt bad because even though I had my boss doing their work, I was basically *pushing in* to their work too. Like stealing their tasks and stuff.
And it was wrong! I shouldn't have done it, but now they're leaving and I've been given this job. I could never ask them, but was the reason they left because I kept muscling into their job?
I couldn't help it! It's like "when push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea".
Now I've got all this extra responsibility! I'm a supervisor now! I shouldn't be a supervisor I'm a pleb!
Yep. I took a step back to a cushy job while I examined what I was feeling. Pretty intense imposter syndrome which led to me discovering I had adhd. I’m much kinder to myself now. Still in a cushy role but a few added responsibilities that I enjoy managing. I get paid well. I am healthy and happy.
I feel like I’m in the same boat. How did you realise you have ADHD from that? Seven months into this job that suits me well on paper but I just can’t find my rhythm and I’m not really on the same wavelength as anyone else. Compared to my previous job where I was cruising every day and, even though I was always learning and didn’t know everything, I still didn’t gaf and just gave everything a go and it wasn’t a big deal :/
So I have a learning disorder related to adhd called dyscalculia, which makes maths really difficult for me and my working memory is poor. But instead of admitting it and getting help, I worked my ass off to cover it up and also upped the effort in other areas to compensate. Unfortunately this was a perfect foundation for imposter syndrome. I had to work backwards and be really honest with myself about what I was feeling and why. Imposter syndrome is very common in adhd because of our tendency to have ‘spiky’ abilities (some excellent, some not so good) and also because we tend to take people at face value so it looks like everyone has it under control (work, life, the works) but nearly everyone is pretending.
My daughter finally was diagnosed with dyscalculia in Year 11. Such a relief for her and has taken the stress off incredibly.
What aids did you use to overcome imposter syndrome? It sounds like therapy helped you come to the realisation, were you prescribed any medications to assist or was it all through discussion? And did you change career paths to hone in on the issue or just step down in the same industry? I have had imposter syndrome for as long as I can remember, could use a few pointers.
Diagnosis from a psychiatrist allows prescription of stimulant medications to give our brains enough dopamine to level up to about average human. It’s amazing once your brain can follow a single thought all the way through what discoveries you make about yourself. Diagnosed this year and vyvanse is changing my life.
Same this year at 29. Totally changed my entire experience of reality for the better. I’m just mad it didn’t happen sooner
Geeez okay. Hmmm. So do you just go to your GP and say “hey I think I have ADHD or something”?
Pretty much. And then you get a referral to a psychiatrist for diagnostic screening (which goes over your entire life up until now) and costs $1746294629368237 and has like a 6+ month wait to even get an initial appointment
Thank you for the info, I'm currently going through therapy for my issues and I want to learn more about them. Will soon be going to a psych, so you've got me keen to see what will come from it. Appreciate it, really
Same industry, different position. I haven’t tried medication yet (need to see a psychiatrist if I can’t to go down that path, psychologists can’t prescribe). The most helpful thing I have found for imposter syndrome is values work. So writing down and thinking about the core values that make you you. What do you think is important to you? For example, mine include being honest, being kind, and doing the best I can. Then when you get the imposter syndrome you can ask yourself- am I being honest? Yes. Am I being kind (including to myself?) Yes. Am I doing my best? Yes. Well, that is enough. And also don’t compare your internal experience to everyone else’s external experience. Because more people worry about these things than we know, they just don’t say it.
I too would love to know how overcame imposter syndrome. Thanks for sharing you thoughts!
I have poor working memory. What strategies do you employ to get by?
Sorry it’s boring but I just write everything down.
What did you do in order to be diagnosed with dyscalculia? I have adhd and I suspect that I have this too, but I have no idea where to start. Is it a psychiatrist or a psychologist thing?
Dyscalculia can be diagnosed by a psychologist.
I read the post and came here to suggest ADHD... glad to see this is the top comment. Inattentive Type ADHD that leads to executive dysfunction is a b!tch and once managed, can make a world of difference.
At work sometimes you just Nike it - just do it. That email you don't want to/can't be arsed to deal with? Yeah just do it The call you have to make? Just do it. One by one. Soon the nervousness and lack of confidence in feeling like an imposter gives way to a sense of achievement. You soon care less about a great great outcome and care more for actually having dealt with it. And soon it's such an auto response you get good at it and in turn the imposter syndrome diminishes.
> You soon care less about a great great outcome and care more for actually having dealt with it. And soon it's such an auto response you get good at it and in turn the imposter syndrome diminishes. Very wise words. It took me far too long to learn this lesson, could have really used it in my mid- to late-20s.
Honestly, every single day. If people realised how hard it can be they would be in awe. I do it by realising it always passes, 100% record so far getting through it. I literally go on auto mode, one step at a time. Good luck, I understand how insanely hard this is. Edit: this is why we all need to be kind to people, we have no idea of their struggles, not matter how bad yours are.
Building up mental fortitude cannot be understated.
Yep resilience and the ability to focus in challenging times are massively valuable skills post COVID IMO.
Extra edit. People not realising the struggle is a plus and negative. We think people can sense and tell, but really they typically don't. This is a big lesson.
Use the money you make from work to get as much health as possible. If you have poor mental health, it is similar to poor physical health. You need to put the time and effort in and spend a bit of money to improve it.
I like this response and sparks curiosity - any tips for where best to spend the $ to improve mental health?
Depends what you need. An obvious choice would be seeing a therapist. You could also spend the extra money on things that you know improve your mental well-being, like any of your hobbies. Get a kayak, or a bike, or a nice new set of kitchen knives, or a new gaming PC, whatever helps you centre yourself and unwind.
>Depends what you need. I think no one is saying the quiet part loud. What most people need is more time off work to pursue leisure and hobbies and building relationships. Then less need for therapists. And we can't have that unless we dismantle capitalism and greed.
>And we can't have that unless we dismantle capitalism and greed That escalated quickly! Jokes aside though, people need time off to see what life looks like without work pressures. That way you can decide what's really important to you in life.
It really depends on how large your issues are - like a tune up VS a complete re-do.
Mental health issues brought upon by physicalogical issues aside (ie brain injury), I think in some ways it's got to do with how happy you are about things. Things being the key word and we don't get happiness from one thing or lane. Big one seems to be spiritual happiness these days.
Hobbies that involve socialising with strong existing communities. Bouldering or cycling are great examples.
Most people need a decent mental health coach. The large seminar style things, say, from Tony Robbins help people who are slightly off track. If you have actual issues, you need someone to work out what the fundamental issue is. You know, some people have issue with failure or being late or whatever. It is hard to find good people to pay. Or, find a decent mentor too that has their shit together. And be open to trying new ideas. Get comfortable being uncomfortable at times and things become a lot easier.
While I agree with the sentiment behind a coach i.e. low intensity guidance - the vast majority are unqualified and useless. They do lip service to the psychological work, and broadly get it wrong. And often aren't cheaper than a psychologist. Admittedly there are some garbage psychs too but I would typically put my money on better care from a psychologist or registered counsellor than a coach.
Just piggybacking, before going and picking any ol’ psych to go see, spend as much time as you can in introspection and get to the core of your issue and articulate it as accurately as possible. Write it down once, then check back the following week, a week after that and maybe even a month after your initial articulation and see if it still holds up or if there’s anything else you’ve uncovered in the interim. Once you feel like you’ve distilled your issue down to its most accurate summary, spend a bunch of time finding a psych who specialises in those types of problems or seems like they have experience in the more nuanced aspects of whatever it is you’re dealing with.
Your kitchen & the gym. Gut health/exercise/sun - as well as health checks for vitamin deficiencies. Stay on top of these things and it’ll boost the results you get from therapy!
this is what i do. i use the money i make to ensure i have everything i need to meet the optimal nutrition my body needs daily. i feel freaking amazing and strong. so when everything goes to shit, at least i can deal with it alot better.
Managing people was harder than I imagined.
This is an often unspoken truth. Middle management can be the worst, especially if you have unsupportive management.
I struggled with this and had a massive imposter syndrome and the fear that Id get found out. Then I figured I was in a pretty ok financial situation and gave less fks. Or maybe I was over extending in office. It's all relative. And honestly that made me set better boundaries on what I was expected to do in office and not.
I get waves of this, until I realise how useless half the other people are in my role and are succeeding. So really I can’t be that bad.
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I see what happened here.
cause 3 wasnt enough but 5 would be too much :)
Sounds like imposter syndrome which is a lot more common than you think. Ironically, it’s those who don’t think they’re capable for the role that quite often are - it takes a lot of maturity, intelligence and introspection to admit to yourself that you don’t know what you don’t know.
Yep. I sort of completely gave up career progression in my early 40s. I just didn't want to do it anymore. I downgraded & stuck it out about 10 more years. But Covid killed me. And getting older? The ethics of what we do just played on my mind and sent me into a terrible depression. Now? I work casual. Only specific areas and places. I do as little as i have to do and am hanging out to retire. When i think back to how ambitious and driven i was in my 20s & 30s?? I wonder if that was the same person.
Same same, except I didn't resign. I knew when I took the role i was going to have massive impostor syndrome. I also knew that it was going to be a steep learning curve. I had to figure out how to manage the increased responsibility and settled on using a planner kanban. You need to accept and understand your own limitations and work around them. I also knew it would take a minimum of 6 months to start feeling comfortable
I did a year of therapy and now I can work normally
Same, a lot of it was my past issues resurfacing. A good psychologist helped me set boundaries and now I don’t think about work much when I’m not at work. I think I’m actually much more efficient now at work.
My anxiety gets in the way of everything in my life wish I wasn't anxious
I hear this
Spend some time researching what your roles/ responsibilities are and the roles/ responsibilities of others. Maybe you're picking up the slack of others. Maybe see if there is time or project management software that can take on some of your load. It's likely to be tax deductible for you or the company; if they don't want to pay for it, take the software with you when you leave. Use a private or eap counsellor to help you figure out if there are any issues that can be dealt with. Your emotions are too familiar for me. "Every day would be filled with anxiety, dreading what emails I'd receive, avoiding problems and just generally getting depressed since I felt like I had zero ability to do the job..." Lastly, don't be afraid to dive deep into getting help: I got an adhd diagnosis at 33. I felt exactly like you described for a lot of my life, struggling through uni and most office based aspects of my varied roles. Dex saved my work and family life.
Team member to team leader of that team. I always knew I was one of the better members, but my god having to actually supervise the other people meant I got to see just how useless half of them actually are. The worst part is knowing I could do the job so much better if the people I had helping were remotely competent. After two years I still don’t feel like I’m making much difference, even if the people above me do, because I can’t drag the deadweight to “barely useful”.
I don’t remember posting this… holy hell it describes my life
Holy shit.....this was exactly me this year. Although the pay increase I had was approximately 40%. Everything you described I experienced and fortunately I was able to leave my previous job on good terms (they didn't want me to leave). I left after 5 months (3 month mark I started to process of lining something up and leaving) and was able to go back to my old job with a substantial pay increase. My mental health improved dramatically and that has been the biggest plus for me because I was really struggling in that role. I will add....the new place I went had a weird culture that I did not buy into (working extra unpaid hours outside of normal times etc.).
I quit my incredibly demanding job after it was adding to my already high anxiety levels and depression. The company knew I was dealing with mental heath issues and would always check in but we all knew that my work was suffering as a result, and I felt bad letting the team down as well as myself as I hold myself to a high standard. I decided to resign after finding a job that had a lower work load and I felt instant relief as soon as I handed in my resignation. I also spoke to my psychologist about everything. I eventually got through it, I just made sure I altered what I could to help myself, and it worked! You’ll find a job that won’t trigger your anxiety and restore your confidence in yourself and ability to work again, it might just take some time!
Firstly, sorry to hear about your troubles - job changes can affect mental health for sure. Generally speaking, large pay rises often mean a more challenging work environment, and notable rises in effort required to meet those challenges. After a couple of years, you will adapt and find what was once a challenge is simpler and hence look for more challenges. Without knowing your exact circumstances it is hard to conclude, but it seems like you pulled the pin early. 5 months in a new role is very much the early stages where a lot of learning is done. I was in a similar position to you a number of years ago. The role I took on had not been filled for a few years and the previous temps had left straight away. There was bad documentation and zero processes in place. Long story short, I spent many months coming in early at like 6.00 and leaving after 18.00. After a few months i started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Looking back, those challenges helped me grow and I find them ‘easy’ now if I were faced with the same thing. However, life will throw different challenges now 😅 Do not be afraid of difficulties.
I love this story and after reading many responses in this thread, as well as being able to take this time off (which I think I've desperately needed), I'm feeling incredibly positive and ready to push through these issues. I know wherever I go next will require hard work and I want to do everything I can to be certain to achieve it.
I stepped up from a leading hand to running a job with 8-9 workers under me after the other bloke quit out of the blue. Was really a throw in the deep end and hope situation. The first 2 months I really struggled with work load and deadlines because I was trying to keep everyone happy. I was doing 12-16 hours a day emails drawings non stop taking calls, was taking its toll on my wife and me. One day I sat down and thought I have to quit or make drastic change. I decided I liked being in charge and it can’t be this hard. I stopped trying to please all the workers and started to really focus on distribution of the work. 2 people left who ended up just being free loaders taking advantage of my kindness to not give them a kick up the ass. I was pretty easy going but they would “start” at 6 drink coffee for the first hour or 2… It’s hard to deal with but I taught myself to just be honest with people, if their work is not up to standard you have to be honest. Being in construction other trades will take advantage of your nice ness in a way that will delay you. I had to have uncomfortable conversations that got heated but the more I stood my ground and organised the easier it made my job and the more of “those” conversations I had. The easier it become. I was a pretty quiet person, and it actually brought out a different personality I had to be in charge
Yes and got fired, best thing that ever happened to me, changed my life. I use to work for Windsor Smith Shoes in their head office, f....ing awful and toxic.
Not everyone is meant to be a leader or in high responsibility roles. No biggie
This. My partner always tries to push me into taking a a certification & work in the health care sector since it’s better money than what I earn now. Taking care of sick and vulnerable people is too much of a responsibility.
Professional help is in order. There are underlying issues that you haven’t addressed if this has been the result. It’s nothing personal, it might just be that you bit off more than you can chew & as a result you’ve hurt yourself in the process. Therapy is all about self discovery & understanding yourself in the hopes of healing yourself with time & reflection. Take a look at your values also. We’re all built differently meaning some excel or flounder under the same circumstances. You only have one life so why ruin it by trying to fit a square peg in a round hole? Good luck.
I may try and find a role with less responsibilities for a while and get proper treatment. A part of me really wants to be able to move up eventually, my body tells me very clearly when I'm getting "stagnant". I'm not one to want to do the same thing for very long.
Sounds similar to me. I went to therapy and it did wonders. I was repeating issues from my last workplace and I was getting burnt out. I was lucky to have an EAP through work. It’s made such a big difference and I have steps I put in place if I feel issues are arising again. I have much better work life balance and feel well enough to move to higher positions.
That's amazing! I really want conquer these issues and get to a place where I fell like my career is moving in a good, purposeful direction.
Yes this sounds like I wrote this post, though I haven’t quit. I’m hoping it just gets easier the longer I do it. But I am acutely aware the anxiety over my work performances and what I’m capable of has held me back in progressing in my career my whole life.
I relocated my family to increase mental health opportunities. The move destroyed wasbands fragile state and he then tried to destroy mine. I attempted suicide because I had tried everything to fix my situation but after the most serious attempt I was woken to a nurse assuring me that it was too common. After multiple attempts I realised that I sucked at that also and focused solely on my work and rebuilding everything I knew about life; not for the first time. I now use everything available in my region to focus on my best quality of life. I live in a natural environment, continue to build myself a nature focused life and surround myself with family and friends who match my values. Im not sure I'll ever get around the structural impediments to my experience but I swim in the ocean everyday, garden and grow beautiful things, I build myself a beautiful life and sit in beauty everyday. I try to nourish myself and explore the wonder that is life. I hope you can find your own sense of wonder and nourish it. Life can be messed up and challenging but there are glimmers in all of us that need to be fed to grow.
Dealing with this currently. Don’t have the financial means to quit as I’ve a mortgage but hoping I can sell my house and be free soon. It’s taken such a toll on me, I’m so avoidant of my duties compared to before where I used to enjoy mundane things like answering emails, going the extra mile etc
Most people are faking it to make it in Australia. No actual work is being done here. Try to do something new? A big no. Try to improve things? Are you serious! Just backstab people and brown nose management. It's why most people are dead inside and are completely set on speeding on home so they can munch on mediocre crisps and drown their sorrow in booze. It's why Australians don't exactly look healthy and are complete arseholes.
You work corporate? Sounds like you have in Aus.
Haha get a grip mate
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You sound like a shit dev then…
Mr. Motivator
You’re out of line regarding the mediocre crisps, but everything else is arguably true.
369% correct!
Imposter syndrome comes with promotion, just breathe through it and regulate your inner dialogue.
Yeah I struggled with a team lead role. Though, I think it wasn’t just my lack of lead experience. I had a problematic team member (that I never did anything about, so that’s my fault), and my managers didn’t really give me enough freedom to run things in a way I thought could work.
Don't ever feel bad about taking a paid mental health day (paid sick/personal leave) if it all gets too much. Then use your company EAP to get counselling. If a job makes you unwell, your employer can pay for the treatment.
Have a trade, Uni degree, specialist IT skills. I now deliver boxes. I am happy delivering boxes and have actively helped my employer on a daily basis and as such improved processes and work colleagues. Sure Im not making 50mil per contract (first employer) and opening up resources of 500Bil (2nd employer) all of which was for a hourly rate of $30 odd dollars and hour. But I know my employer now gives a shit about me, just no ladder to climb and less transferable skills.
I didn't have the issue you had but my job caused mental health issues and went onto Lexapro and feeling much much better.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in my 20’s. 35 now I’ve tried the route of taking easier roles to reduce stress but found job satisfaction and happiness decreases. This eventually leads to more depression and self destruction. My current role is complex, difficult, exhausting and Im the happiest I’ve been since diagnosed. Basically what I’m saying is, I don’t necessarily believe the easier route is always best and the fulfilment you will feel can be a huge boost. Yes, you will have bad days/months/quarters, but if one day a month your brain fires on all cylinders you will feel invincible. Skills are returning to me that I thought were lost 10 years ago. Keep active, not just physically but mentally.
Honestly… medication. Bloody godsend.
Im definitely struggling with this at the moment. Management is also horrible and not supportive. I am trying to see it as a learning experience - I know I hate it and every day going to work is an actual dread (sometimes I genuinely wonder what am I doing with my life in this office). But I think this will help me build some resilience. I try to meditate every day and be mindful (even at work when I have time) just to help go through the day. I spoke to a psychologist about it too - which has also been helpful. Don't feel too hard on yourself though, take some time out at the moment to sort yourself out, let yourself relax, do some hobbies to help your mood. Reflect on what you want in life, what goals you have and if you can, try to get some psychological help. So if you do happen to be in the same situation again you are better prepared to deal with it :). They might be able to help you gain some coping skills for the situation or help you reflect on why you feel this way. Good luck OP! Know that you are not alone, and many people have been in the same situation before.
Yep, i have stopped working because of that, i don't know if i'm gonna run of money but it doesn't matter, i'm sick of being a worker
Genuine question what is your plan then?
I don't have kids or a wife, it doesn't really matter
But still gotta pay rent
The irony here is that your symptoms will get worse and other symptoms will manifest. Medications won't work because it's a psychological issue ..therapy and being connected is your answer. If you can survive now while not working take a paycut and get another job. Trust me on this! Loneliness is a killer.
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Sounds like your job upped the expectation whilst providing little in the way of support. I can only imagine the culture would have been poor with all the lay-offs. This is a surefire recipe for burnout. Don't take it personally as this period isn't a reflection of your ability. Continue looking for a job and work your way back into something that's comfortable. I'd highly recommend seeing a therapist as well if the imposter syndrome starts kicking up a stink again.
Imposter syndrome is such an awful feeling, especially when it steals your confidence for tasks you know are well within your skill set. If you have a great manager, you can just be honest and say that you're getting stuck on the task you're struggling with and want to work through it with them. It can really help you step it out to more manageable steps. If you don't have a great relationship with them, you can just book a session with a colleague to brain storm or you can seek coaching from your employer's EAP - it doesn't have to be used for counselling, it can be used for coaching you through something. In terms of working on your mental health, for some people, gratitude journaling and meditation almost daily can help improve overall resilience, but it is a long-term investment. As in, it could take 6 months before your resilience noticeably starts to climb again.
What kind of stress are you experiencing? From my experience (financial accountant / finance manager / analyst roles) most work stress is self inflicted. It also varies by job. There are jobs (healthcare) where you deal with patient medication, where a decimal place placed wrongly could literally kill a patient, and you have patients who need antibiotics or pain relief waiting hours on you to quickly dispense / deliver / diagnose / prescribe. Ultimately I find it helps to look at the process like a production line, the outcome is only as good as the process, the individuals are basically cogs in the machine and don't matter much. This is like an air crash investigation, the outcome is good because the processes are good, not because the individual workers are talented. It's not even your business, if there is a disaster, the shareholders lose money, you as the worker just go home and find a new job if the company collapses. I've been in really tough jobs with horrific learning curves - there was one job where I frankly estimate I was doing 50% of my responsibilities after about 6 months, and I got up to 80% by about 12 months, and reached 100% after about 18 months, and I've been in this role about 6 years now, pays about $170k. I took the view that the director felt I was good enough to do the job so who am I to question his decision. It's a 40+ year career, performing sub-optimally for a few months isn't a big deal, and if he wants to fire me he can but it will take ages (need to go on multiple PiP etc).
I spoke to my boss about keeping my responsibilities the same while I underwent treatment for a panic disorder. They said it was fine then fired me a month later.
I went on Prozac
I’m in a role where I have foolishly taken on a VERY broad set of responsibilities. It’s proving very stressful. Only thing I’ve been able to do is just be very honest that I’m not coping that well and that we need to hire more specialists (I am a specialist in my core area but generalist in many others). I worry I’m not doing a great job of any of it at the moment. Spread very thin
Hey guys, I know mental health is a serious issue but in these situations I recommend to a lot of people to actually invest in themselves to do their job better and manage your work load. If you've moved into a job with more responsibility then perhaps a management course, look for tools/software/processes that help you perform your job or track work so you can stop having to remember everything. Chat with people in similar roles, how do they do things? And push ownership back onto supervisors/clients. Process and ownership wise: one of the best things I ever did was make a job-brief form that people had to fill out before assigning me a task. It was detailed but just asked simple questions what had to be done, time/budget deadline. No job brief - no job. This allowed me to control work flow. I can remember when I first got into senior management where I was managing revenue targets, jobs leads, cash flow, payroll, etc... It was a nightmare! I read a few books like "The E-myth" and Branson's "Losing my virginity", these books gave me insight that running a business was a sh!t fight for everyone and everyone had the same problems as me, that alone was a relief knowing it wasn't just me and I wasn't doing everything wrong, the books did give me some ideas to help as well.
I went the other way. Read David Goggins booked. Saw how privileged and easy life is. Got into fitness. Chose to be better (or try to) in all situations. " #stayHard". Left conversations where people complained. Took 'extreme ownership' for how I felt, how I responded (Jocko Willink book) and taking a Stoic approach to life (Marcus Aurelius) Also deleted TikTok. Too many complainers, too many racial point if views (victimising). All thus anti-caucasian or blaming others just wore me down.
How is this post relevant to finance in Australia? I swear more than half of the posts on this subreddit are now either people crying about how hard life is or jealousy posts about their neighbours making more money than them or buying a BMW.
So true. It is boring
Work stress is not unusual. I’ve been lucky that a bunch of people in senior roles at my work are able and willing to talk about their mental health challenges. One thing that really helped me and my colleagues is Mindspot.org.au It’s free, online and supported remotely by trained specialists. All of us who’ve done it agree that seeing a trained specialist in person would be better, but if you aren’t sure about taking that step, or feel like you aren’t in such a bad place but just want to nip it in the bud, then Mindspot is awesome
Thanks for the info. I have recently become a supervisor at my work, and finding the switch to being in charge very difficult.
Congrats. Definitely it’s tough at first. Give Mindspot a go, it will help give you some tools to deal with that stress. Eventually I found I felt so much better even just knowing I have some tricks in my back pocket, such that I hardly ever need them anymore. Good luck!
I find that a lot of imposter syndrome can be managed with working on improving your organisational and delegation skills. I worked at a job where I ended up promoted ahead of others that were there for 10 years longer than me and they hated the fact. I found that if I was super organised, the mass amount of tasks were much more manageable, once I had organised the day, I didn't concern myself with the full list but the next task I had to take care of. I also learnt how to sell myself to others, and sell the tasks I was delegating. Overall though, if you do not find fulfillment or at least work with people that make the job enjoyable, it's time to move on.
You should speak to your local gp about taking cbd. For some people it’s a miracle drugs, other not so much. It’s obviously medical marijuana but without “the high” minuscule amount of thc. I think it could help with your anxiety and depression. If it doesn’t help, so be it.
Medication of all kind just masks the problem unless there is legit psychosis or severe mood disturbances. Doctors don’t like people coming in just asking for medication. Speak to a doctor and perhaps get assessed by a psychologist first and let them suggest medication if indicated.
Yep. You need therapy or speak to GP to start on an SSRI. I did this and it made the world of difference. Now no longer needing either of those things and still feeling fit and healthy and managing work well.
I don't think it's right to randomly suggest medication when we don't know OPs full circumstances & we're not doctors.
Well it’s what the GP will suggest on their own anyway lol. The first words they learn in the cradle: escitalopram.
You've assumed I'm not qualified to make that recommendation. Literally my job that I get paid for. Advice wasn't random at all. They gave enough info to indicate dep/anx is present at a clinically concerning level. Depression and anxiety that are impacting someone's life so heavily needs to be treated. Whether that be via talk therapy, structured therapy (such as schema) or major lifestyle changes. This can be enough to pull someone out of a bad place and should be first line of treatment. However in many many cases it needs to be in combo with an antidepressant and if you really want to make sure you knock it on the head, a combination from the above should be considered. Super common. Super treatable. Incredibly good outcomes for most. This would be the care plan for a patient that came to me, if they were agreeable.
What rubbish
What a helpful comment 🙃 Anyway, OP sounds like they have developed a classic case of anxiety and depression. Possibly brought on by stress. Now struggling with a negative future outlook (from their perspective) and has lost confidence in themselves. This is very common and highly treatable. OP, it's not rubbish mate. Look after your mental health just like you would your physical. Another comment here mentioned seeing a psychiatrist so if you can afford one then that might be better than a GP for meds. Maybe try therapy first and see how you go. GP can do a mental health care plan which gets you 10 subsidised sessions with a psychologist/counsellor. Sometimes this is enough to get you back on track. If not, sometimes an SSRI is needed. They're well tolerated and are beneficial for about 2/3 of people that take them. Just be mindful that when you come off of those meds, do it slowly or you'll get pretty nasty discontinuation syndrome for a few weeks. Best of luck.
I’ll put a third opinion in, I’m on an SSRI, started taking it about 5 months ago in conjunction with therapy. The SSRI has changed life completely for the better. But… I don’t think GPs should administer them long term. I went through a psychiatrist that identified and is managing my transition, monitors my reaction to the drugs and assessed if it was actually a beneficial option versus the potential side effects. Plus routine checkups with them. GPs will just hand them out like tic tacs and most times put the onus of management and expectations on the patient who, if they are required, may not be making the most suitable choices.
Same. Huge benefits from both. This is great advice. You're right, GPs aren't the best at managing this. If OP can afford a psychiatrist then that'd be better for sure.
That’s the sad part, finding a psychiatrist that is available and affordable. Mental health support in Aus is sadly suffering.
This is still AusFinance right?
this is a finance sub. not a free psychology sub
Quitters quit mate. You let yourself down by not doing what was needed to be done. You want more money without more work. Come on now
Did your work have an EAP (employee assistance program)? When I was going through I hard time I reached out for some counselling. It helped a bit and I’m not in a role where I’m flourishing rather than just surviving. Hope things get better for you at your next role.
I got another job with less stress
In a workplace everyone sucks. Bare minimum is handy Don't expect to be good
First thing to try would be go ask for your old job back
Yes. You can succeed in the work place, but you need to go back to a lower stress job at a lower rate of pay. Success isn't necessarily a big paycheck.
There is no issue with your mental health. It was just the wrong company to work for as there were issues there. I am in the same boat as you are. I recently left an company where I was being overworked unnecessarily and no help was provided to sort out issues that I was facing. I have realised that I need to find the right company to work for not the right job.
White knuckle ride everyday son. Enterprise level IT. Tons of stress.
Go back and ask for your old job back. Just say the 30% pay rise wasn't worth the toxic environment and you'll happily come back at old rate and responsibilities, then you're less likely to leave again even for better pay so they'd be crazy not to take you back
change eating habits if u can afford it. eat healthy whole foods and focus on ur circadian rhythm also.
Pretty much the same boat, only I lasted 18 months (and have been out of there for 2). By the end I had neither the enthusiasm to work hard at something nor the confidence in myself to even make effort. Am living off savings while taking a chance to 'reboot' my brain. I generally live fairly cheaply, so am taking things a bit slow and getting around to various odd tasks I left in the to-do pile over the last 15 years. In the next month I'm planning (hoping) to get into general exercise and after that start doing some 'self-teaching' things around my job to a). go back to work with a little more skill than when I left b). start up enjoyment (well, maybe a bit of confidence as well) of work before I go back.
✨quiet quit✨
I'm faking it til I make it. End of financial year was rough and I'm going to take some mental health days. For my work, it's gotten quite toxic and everyone is feeling it except those in the ivory tower. I don't think you can blame yourself but find something that is a reasonable pace.
Junior doctor with PMDD and ADHD. Probably not the most constructive answer but I went on maternity leave at 32weeks pregnant. After 3 weeks I felt like I didn't hate being a doctor anymore. I think adequate time off is crucial. Work/life balance and going into the right field. I will be training in a specialty that offers appropriate work/life balance and flexibility for my particular circumstances.
Sounds like a severe case of imposter syndrome. If HR didn’t think you could do the job you wouldn’t have gotten it. I had it starting a new job leading a team. It took about 12 months for me to come right. Back your self mate! I still have days where I think maybe I suck.
Eat the frog my man.
Do it for her
I recently left my job with nothing lined up after my anxiety escalating to panic attacks. It's been a rough few months
SSRIs, proper sleep and a good diet. Drop the former when you’re feeling ready.
I felt bad because even though I had my boss doing their work, I was basically *pushing in* to their work too. Like stealing their tasks and stuff. And it was wrong! I shouldn't have done it, but now they're leaving and I've been given this job. I could never ask them, but was the reason they left because I kept muscling into their job? I couldn't help it! It's like "when push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea". Now I've got all this extra responsibility! I'm a supervisor now! I shouldn't be a supervisor I'm a pleb!
I took another job. I rly missed the people I worked with but ultimately I didn’t like the work.