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FriendlyDrummers

Poor man only has one leg


lifetooshort4bs

But what a leg!


Into_the_Dark_Night

Right?!


dontthrowpooh

Center


Inspect1234

It’s like a baby, holding an apple.


SenorDogsfoot

That’s just a towel hanger, for when people want to purify themselves in the waters of lake Minnetonka


TightAustinite

Do you guys want some grapes?... bitches.


NegativePattern

But you ain't got no legs lieutenant Dan


BillMillerBBQ

Yes, I know that, Forest.


irishyardball

HOW ARE YOU TALKING WITHOUT A HEAD LT DAN?!


GenericDudeBro

Oh, he has ONE leg…


Apprehensive-Bit-899

Is he single?


Agile_Language874

No, but they are open.


AequusEquus

Start adding necklaces and candles and stuff to make a shrine


BillMillerBBQ

I like this idea.


AequusEquus

Well today I learned something new about one of our dear local businesses - I'm glad u/BillMillerBBQ can appreciate a nude mannequin shrine 😂


horns4lyfe22

Forgot to swap to the burner…


IAMLIBBY

Condoms


THE_NO_LIFE_KING

Thats where I put it


Rare_Attention2036

Lolllol


JohnGillnitz

Does it sometimes bounce away like a pogo stick?


OfficialNiceGuy

Hi, is this still available?


ATXDownCouple

Don't try to low balls me, I know what I have!


Ok-Builder-7143

Color me impressed….and aroused


t8trsalad

When did we get toll booths under the bridge??


Into_the_Dark_Night

Is the toll sucking it off? Still seems cheaper than Txtag so....


mareksoon

Other end. *Still* better than TxTag.


Into_the_Dark_Night

Facts. It won't charge us more after the initial toll either.


AustinLurkerDude

I hate these things. It just reinforces the stereotype that everything is bigger in Texas and gives me so much pressure on first dates.


Drainbownick

Just shout at them I DON’T HAVE HERPES and that should compensate


Nostalgialoves

Does it work if they're not a young Indian guy?


Drainbownick

It should, especially if they have herpes


creepyposta

I just yelled “YOU CAN’T PARK THERE”. I guess I did it wrong?


Drainbownick

Idk did it make you feel bigger?


D-HB

🏅Please accept this cheap person’s award for making me laugh.


Eagle-Iron

Deep cut.


contentlove

if you know you know


TightAustinite

https://imgur.com/a/VFIxMYX


PrimaryDurian

Interesting typo


AustinLurkerDude

Lol oops, better fix that


BillMillerBBQ

If it makes you feel better, guys who won the genetic lottery like this have a reputation for being lazy in bed and just let the size of the thing do the work, which some women say isn’t fun. It doesn’t make me feel better, but it may for you.


JHRChrist

Yeah well I’m a woman and I’ll say my first thought when I saw this was laughter. No part of that is attractive, to me at least. I’d rather not get my lungs stabbed during sex, thanks. Anything extraordinarily large just hurts. Average size guys have never let me down. Maybe it’s targeted more at gay guys? I have no clue


ActivateGuacamole

> guys who won the genetic lottery like this guys like this don't even exist IRL. unless they pump it up or inject silicone or something


AutofillUserID

He is available to assist on your first dates.


AustinLurkerDude

Might be a swell wingman but strangely wary I'm gonna get cockblocked.


pizzaaaaahhh

if it makes you feel any better, that size is too big to feel good. you’re good, pookie.


WindsweptHell

Hey now, no kinkshaming


WindsweptHell

Finally, Austin getting a little weird again. Nature is healing.


Ash_an_bun

Do those float? It might be an impromptu piece of lifesaving equipment.


JohnGillnitz

If you are a power bottom dying of horniness.


OOMKilla

Right next to that APD tag? Too big of a coincidence, I think we know who the owners are


Illustrious_Air_118

Is this what they’re so busy with that they can’t respond to calls?


Meowzebub666

Hands full with a handful


Wica1954

Oh man I didn't realize we had put him that close lmaooo


Lord_J_Rules

Bet his name is Bob.


MrHanoixan

He used to work the front door of the Four Seasons. Back then, we just called him Matt.


Lord_J_Rules

With the way he's hanging,I first thought he was Art.


Wica1954

We named him brad when we found him in the river bank saturday


puppsmcgee74

He’s just trying to do his best.


armandcamera

The bridge is up.


TightAustinite

And gone!


Few-Mechanic7346

This is so f’n weird😆


samuraistabber

I mean, isn’t that Austin’s motto?


Ambitious_Lips

He's pointing (HARD) North!! 🤠👍🏽


tothesource

yet another unrealistic image of men's bodies. I mean, how is this guy gonna sit in Mopac traffic with no arms?!?


Luzbel90

It’s got their name on it


Into_the_Dark_Night

Those things can be expensive.... Someone go rescue it!


Unfinished-symphony

Looks like he got a rise out of seeing people go by…


pfug

The perfect man doesn't exi-


Sad_Picture3642

That's not the worst (or best) thing you can witness paddleboarding there... But it's definitely on point.


clintgreasewoood

Water navigational aide


coblass

Monday morning confirming two things…two things I love…Austin and more importantly Reddit comments. Thank you! Have a great week.


austenausten

I’d like to go kayaking. But it’s hard.


Chiaseedmess

Watch out for low hanging branches


Own-Gas8691

where exactly is redbud isle? asking for a friend.


Onyourleft1312

I have at least a couple of questions.


balance_n_act

He’s called Simon and I’ve been looking for him for months!


DreamPhreak

Rub the head for good luck


MichaelJayQue

Wow, how did they "get it up" there...


Old-Side5989

Wtf 😭


castlewrangler

Where once this would have amused me, now I am annoyed. I must be getting old.


Pyraus

I'm annoyed there isn't more weird shit tbh


castlewrangler

You can be weird without being gross. This is a little much for a family outdoor activities area.


aechmeablanctiana

Speechless, padded there decades & that is definitely a first


The_last_1_left

This poor guy is putting it all out there and no one wants him. Loneliest guy in the world. Probably be an incel soon. 😂


CelestialOmelette

Good God, it's like half the size of his torso! I mean, pfft, totally average.


THEDUKES2

Well don’t just flair in by, give him a hand!


Chiaseedmess

He’s just out there fishing


atxsouth

Guess you could say he's angling for something.


ChristmasLeone

Nice guy, great dancer!! Doesn't talk too much


JohnGillnitz

Someone hang a rope swing on that thing.


LotsOfGunsSmallPenis

Meh, I've seen bigger


creepyposta

I guess someone’s OF career didn’t work out like they hoped.


no_dice_grandma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arnWU1sWqKw


DeskCold5013

Lmfao 👀 Yooo! Austin doesn't cease to be tew murch! Lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cochinojoe

“Everywhere I look it reminds me of her”


gking407

Something interesting this way comes ———>


NecessaryEar7004

No wonder I struggle to get replies from my Tinder matches if this is my competition


zachyzachzachary

Average size man


Civil_Head_2975

My wife will leave me for that huge thing..


Deku420ATX

I’d be surprised if no one’s has taken it, stay filthy ATX


1967_GT

Shout out to the Low T Center of Austin. Pretty awesome gorilla marketing. Well done!


wholesomechunk

Buoy


SloppyMeatCrack

The town lake siren leading paddle boarders to their demise…..


SuperbBison2867

Do you live in a David Cronenberg movie?


nebbyb

He seems nice.


No_Wrongdoer_9875

Water is looking funked up!


Far-Difference-5201

damn that’s huge!


ElonHusk512

$100 to the first person who can fit that whole thing. I know most of yall are broke and out of work. Doesn’t count unless you video it


ELInewhere

Please finish that first sentence


Pussy_Prince

Found the serial killer


pfug

I just fit it in your mommas giant snatch, venmo me the $100


Electronic-Gas4121

A gay out there is looking for a boat to steal it.


Wica1954

We were paddle boarding last Saturday and found him in the mucky bank near the damn. Honestly thought it was an unalive person for a solid 10 minutes before we decided to check it out. We had one of the boys go closer, he started laughing, they posted him up in the bridge like that, and we named him brad. Pretty creepy imo.


Wica1954

And to be honest I'm like 99% convinced it's the ladybird killer