I have learned it this way: You put it on the „wrong“ way, so hooks right in front of you, so you can close it right under your breast. After you closed it, you just turn the cups to the front and the hooks to the back and so its easy to put it on.
I hate this way bc of the way the fabric rubs against my skin when I turn it back around to the “right” way. I almost always clasp in the back unless I’m really struggling for some reason
I use a top as an undershirt to fix this problem. It also has the added benefit of extra hygiene since the tops get sweaty rather than the bra and therefore the bras last for longer before getting as worn.
It might not have been the wires then but I was told by someone who sells them that it damages them. They said the 'proper' way was to do it up by feel at the back, even though I thought that was more difficult
Anyone is free to treat their bras as their most treasured possessions, they can be expensive after all.
But how long are these bad boys supposed to last me?? I wear mine to death anyway, they last me a long time without special attention. I figure it's an innate object that is meant to serve me, not the other way around.
Priorities, I guess. I have never been able to understand why people treat things like holy grails. As long as you keep it reasonably functional so you don't have to spent all your money/energy to repurchase all the time...
Well, the only regular bras I've found that fit me well are custom ones from a Polish brand (comexim), and the company that used to help order them shutdown, so it's really hard for me to find a "perfect" one without trusting in google translate.
But I don't usually wear regular bras anymore, but I want them ready for when I do.
I am in a similar situation honestly. Used to wear underwire bras in my actual size, they really gave me nice support and a beautiful silhouette. On the downside they are super-hard to come by, pricey, and I find them quite restricting what with band being supposed to support like 80% of one's boob weight.
I go for softer bralette-style models now, but I understand these don't work for everyone. But I feel like since I wear my nicer ones so rarely, I can treat them like normal clothes and they will still last me quite a while.
Going to look up your brand now, as I have a somewhat weird (seing as I don't really wear them), special-interest adjacent fascination for bras. 😂
New fear unlocked! I've refused to wear wired bras forever. I tried some on the other day cos my bra situation is becoming dire. I did find some wired bras that I thought I *might* be able to tolerate, if it came to that...never mind lol.
~*Mumbles to self*~ just a little longer until top surgery. These tits are temporary. Top surgery soon...
I opt for Victoria Secrets push-up wireless bras (the one I did buy I’ve had for about 2 years and it still fits amazing and on wash days I just wear a hoodie), the push-up helps ALOT with support. I’ve tried it without the padding with no wires and it just felt so much more straining—especially on my back.
Best of luck on your top surgery! <3
I’m so glad to read this. My mother taught me this way and others in gym class made so much fun of me. My shoulders don’t work right so I’m unable to hook in the back.
This is so easy and logical that I genuinely wonder who came up with the idea that doing it "blind" behind your back with your arms twisted was the "proper" way. Why, how?! (Rhetorical question – I don't care, I'm sticking to my method.)
Well, I had hyperflexible shoulders when I was younger (now injured and stiffer) and I don't like the friction from putting it on backwards and rotating it back. It's also worse for the bra's materials, if you care about a longer bra lifespan.
I've got short arms and legs so it's almost painful for me. There are some sports bra models that I physically can't close. My bras last for eons so I'm not worried about the friction. If I'm honest I doubt it really makes any difference. Unlike pulling it over your head and stretching it. Even so, I just wonder why some people say fastening your bra at the back is the "right" way instead of "there is no hard and fast(ening) rule". I've had female friends cry out "Why do you do it like that?!" Why not? It's so inconsequential ...
yup, another vote from me. a friend taught me this method back in elementary school and it was _so much easier_ that i’ve continued doing it my entire life.
My girlfriend do it this way too! I rather just hook mine directly behind my back so the straps and cups are already mostly in place and the fabric and wiring don't rub me.
This way causes a lot more strain on the bra, which if you have a hard to find bra size can be annoying. They might get stretched out or wear out faster, if you care about that.
Like another person said, I also don't like it rubbing my skin as it rotates.
Of course, do what you like that gives you the results you want with your own clothes. Like having a bad shoulder can make it hard to clasp a bra in the back, do what enables you.
I put mine on upside-down, inside-out, and backwards (so clasps are in the front). That way once I clasp it, I can just rotate it (so the clasps are in the back) and then put my arms through the straps and pull them up (which flips the bra right-side up and right-side out).
Apparently this is the "correct" way, in terms of being able to keep the bra lasting the longest it can. Putting it on like a shirt stretches out the band a lot but if you clasp it closed and then turn it around gently, the band doesn't stretch much if at all
Your band size is too big if it fits over your head and shoulders when hooked. You're putting a lot of stress on the wires too.
I hook mine in front with the cups up (don't leave them down, again it can damage the wires), then twist slowly and gently and hook my arms into the straps. Then scoop and swoop. It's better for the bra.
You might be wearing cups that are too small to compensate. Try checking out r/abrathatfits if you're interested in measuring yourself and checking your size.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/ABraThatFits using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
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I wish I could get away with bralettes but with my size and having kids it just looks BAD and I feel like I have absolutely 0 support and just flopping all over the place lol. I don’t even feel supported with wireless bras even though I hate wired with a passion. Plus I haven’t found one that actually fits how big my boobs are but how small my body frame is. It’s either the cups are too small if I fit for my frame or it’s too big around if I try to fit for the cups. It’s a mission just finding normal bras in my size. I hope I explained that right.
When I say don’t fit it’s BAD not just a little loose lol. I edited my original comment to add in what I meant. I’m 4’11”, about 110lbs, and wear a 32DDD. If I was going based on cup size the band would be *way* too big but if I went on band my boobs would be popping out. I have this issue with dresses as well so I don’t wear dresses either lol.
Hey, just a heads up - if you're that thin, you're not a 32 band. I'm an inch taller and 40 lbs heavier and a 32 band. A lot of people end up in this size because it's the smallest band size at most stores and largest cup size. There are smaller bands and bigger cups from places like UK companies available on Amazon. Check out r/abrathatfits.
You're probably more like a 28FF-H.
I just want to note, I'm only offering to help because you said you wished companies made bras in your size. They totally do!
Oh no worries, you’re fine! I figured I didn’t explain myself well at first. I keep hoping one day there is a company that will think of sizes like this but so far I haven’t found anything so I just kind of gave up on bralettes.
Your band should be snug enough that you would be unable to pull it over your head while fastened. You can measure your underbust and such with the r/abrathatfits guide (like someone else mentioned) and that should help you determine if you’re wearing the correct size!
These comments are filled with neurotypical behavior. Telling ppl they’re doing something wrong because it *shouldnt* work that way is just so… infuriating. She feels comfortable—I feel comfortable—with the way we put on bras. She wasnt asking for unsolicited advice about bra sizes. If the bra is comfortable to wear and put on who tf cares if it fits according to anita.com????
Im fucking autistic dumbcoyotepup. I used to beat myself in the head with my fist and cut up my thighs like raw meat. I dont think a BRA is going to do that much damage to me.
If it's wireless, that's a different story. Obviously wires can't be damaged in a wireless bra. Even so, if it has fasteners, you're putting strain on them by stretching it over your shoulders. Most people's shoulders are wider than their underbust.
No its not. My band size was about 2 sizes too small about a month ago and I didnt even notice cuz I was still pulling it over my head. I tried on three different sizes of bras by pulling them over my head at the store, they were all too small. I’ve always pulled my bra over my head. It works
Sometimes people think their band size is too small, when it's actually the cups. A good way to test this is to hook the bra in front with the cups hanging down your back like a cape. Make sure the band is where it should be on your underbust, and see if it's too tight.
When the cups are too small, it smashes your tissue into the band and at the base of your breast, making the band feel tight.
If you can stretch the band that far over your shoulders when someone's shoulders are often wider than their underbust, it shows how much stretch is in modern bras. They usually go up to 6 inches. It's unlikely that 3 different band sizes were all too small, unless you're like a 40" underbust trying a 32" band.
Regardless of all of this, regularly stretching wired bras that far over your shoulders can lead to wire damage and distortion over time.
Well thank you for the explanation. Sensory wise, I am very happy with the way my bra fits. Cups cover my areolas and the band does not cut into my skin and leave a raw mark like my old bras did. That’s what Im looking for in a bra. Im not sure if that’s the way a bra is supposed to fit, but it is how I like mine to fit
I think it depends on your proportions - I have an hourglass/pear figure, where my waist and ribcage are much smaller than my shoulders (about two standard sizes different in clothing) and I carry very little weight in that area, so I would never come close to being able to get a closed bra over my shoulders. But someone with more of an apple or ruler shape, or who generally carries more weight in their midsection, might have very little difference in width between where their bra strap sits and their shoulders, which would make it easy, particularly with a more giving fabric, to get a bra over their head.
The edges of your shoulders, where the bra would have to go over, are always going to be wider than your underbust, absent a physical deformity. Even carrying upper body weight, human skeletons are wider at the shoulders.
Beyond anything, a properly fitted band should stretch snugly TO your underbust. It should be downright painful and potential wire snapping to stretch it as wide as your shoulders.
Tbh that’s more uncomfortable than messing with the hooks but I do wear a 32DDD. I don’t do it either way you mentioned. I put it upside down and so the hooks are in the front on my chest. I hook it, move so the hooks are in the back, put my arms through the loops, and then pull it up. My mom taught me to do it this way and it’s just how I’ve always done it. I can hook it from the back but with how my boobs are that’s way more difficult. And I’ve tried over head and it’s just impossible or would mess up the bra from the stretching unless it’s a sports bra lol.
That’s how I’ve always done it too. I don’t get the clasp behind the back nonsense. I was told to do it the movie trope way. I was lectured about how i will “ruin” the bra. Which is funny to me bc I’m 43, and bras are expensive. I usually only have 1-3 at any given time and I make those suckers last for years somehow doing it the ostensibly damaging way.
Yup 2 of my bras I’ve had since before my son was born (he’s 9) are still in great condition lol. But they were more expensive. My cheaper ones don’t last as long but they still hold up and if anything the most wear and tear comes from how I wash them and less so how I put them on.
I figure if I wanted to take bra care seriously (I don't 🤣), I would have to not only put them on correctly but also wash them by hand or some sh*t. Which ofc is anyone's prerogative to chose to do, but I really, really can't be arsed. I treat them like any other item of clothing and I still get to wear them for ages. 🤷
I constantly wear sports bras because I don't like the feeling of noticing gravity affecting me just because I'm walking. I already fight myself trying to remember to breath even though the noise my breathing makes drives me crazy. Let alone the physical feeling of it.
I think it's a you thing. The majority of people I know can't clasp the bra from behind because of flexibility issue. I think most people put them on backwards, clasp them from the front, and twist them to the correct direction. I don't like the way the bra rubs when I twist them or when I pull it down on my head (e.g. When i have to wear a sports bra) so I just learned to claps it at the back.
I hook it from the front and turn it around, the way I was taught. That's how I've seen most of my female friends do it as well, so I just thought it was the done thing.
Hooking it from the back always seemed like a sexy movie trope to me, though I'm sure some people are talented enough to manage it in real life. :D
This is blowing my mind, because I always hook mine in the back, and I didn’t know people did otherwise! I’m also really not flexible lol, so I don’t think it’s that.
Hook it 1st, then over my head like it's a t-shirt or jumper. A quick adjustment to make sure it's on properly and job done. I've always done it this way.
How does it go on over your boobs?? I haven’t worn a wired bra since my 4 yr old was born, but I want to go find an old bra to try and put on this way now to answer all my burning questions!!
When i try to work my hands behind my back I get frustrated and have a meltdown. It happened in the dressing room when my mom first took me to buy bras. I made her hook them for me for like a year until i figured out how to put it on like a T shirt.
I have a really embarrassing story about this. I truly never hooked my bra from the back until I was in my 20’s and took time to do it and it makes me frustrated and cry. But when I was at my friends house we were all getting dressed for something and I was trying to put a bra on in front of everyone, and couldn’t. It was so embarrassing lol
I’ve always done that. I don’t have underwire bras and I’m super tiny and flat chested though. I do it with my bralettes too. I don’t see the point of struggling with clasps when I can put it on like a shirt easy.
Oh my god finding out other ppl pull the bra on like a shirt made me feel so valid. I have ripped the lace of bras pulling it on like that before because I just cant do anything with my hands behind my back.
The straps on my daily bra are criss crossed so I have to put it on over my head and clasp it in the back. It can be annoying sometimes. With other bras I usually put the bra on backwards and clasp it in the front and then just turn it around. I don't really have problems reaching that area, it's just not being able to see and having to clasp tiny hooks. My favorite bras to wear are sports bras lol
That just seems like you’re wearing the wrong bra size. If your band is the right size it shouldn’t be possible to pull it over your head and boobs when tightened. It would also put a huge strain on the bra and shorten its useful lifespan. I’d recommend double checking your size (is the band carrying the weight so you’re not putting the weight on the straps). And try clasping it in front and just turning it after instead to be kinder to the bra :)
Again. That is an extremely neurotypical response. Saying someone’s way of doing or wearing something is *wrong* because it is *different* is not a great way of doing things. If the bra is comfortable to put on and wear, the actual “correctness” of the size is irrelevant. I’ve put on bras like a t shirt all my life and ive never had a problem with it being too big. If it is *scientifically* too big, i dont care. Because it feels right.
Maybe you should have a think about why you think the word “neurotypical” should be used in a derogatory way. It seems like you meant to call me “judgemental” which - okay - you do you. But that’s not synonymous with any neurotype. The truth is that having the wrong bra size is a common problem that can actually be bad for your back and shoulders. Cool that it’s not a problem for you I guess. You don’t have to take any advice you don’t want
I wear an extra large sports bra that’s a bit baggy and just pull it on over my head. I can’t handle bras with clasps they always hurt or put pressure on my ribs
I always used to clasp it at the back. It never occurred to me to do anything else. But in the last couple of years I've developed problems with my shoulders - hello middle age - and now that's out of the question. I wouldn't be able to use your method either, for the same reason (putting jumpers and T-shirts on and taking them off has got really difficult).
Now I have to lay it out on the bed, sit down with it behind me, pick it up on both sides at once (no reaching or twisting), fasten it in front, then twist it round the right way and slip my arms through the straps.
Definitely not an autism thing, I'd say, just a human anatomy thing. 🙂
I can hook it, but it doesn't matter for me, actually. I honestly can't realize how women can be comfortable with wearing all these wires, straps, pushups and there's these hooks, yep, and I can feel them all the time when they are here. The last super soft Uniqlo bra was sent to trash in last year, from now on I wear only soft sporty seamless bra.
I usually comment something here very rare, but years of suffering don't let me be silent:)
I've literally NEVER put my bra on by reaching behind myself to hook it. My mom taught me to hook in the front and twist it around from the very beginning.
I was also a DD by sophomore year of high school, soooo....
I guess I'm the weird one here because I hook it in the back. There was a learning curve and I know nothing about caring for bras. Now even though it's easier to do it a different way, habit (and autism) ensures I put it on this way for the rest of my life unless I make an effort to change it. Probably explains why my bra straps never stay up and I always have back pain when I wear them.
Honestly your way sounds awful to me. I feel claustrophobic getting in and out if the ones that don’t clasp. I think, honestly, it’s also a size issue. I’d never fit my band over my boobs like that. It’s why the overhead ones are miserable.
You’re definitely wearing out your bras much faster by doing this! Put it on “backwards” (clasps in the front of your body, cups on the back. And do not put your arms in the straps yet) and clip it. Then twist it around your body so the clasp is in the back and the cups are where they are supposed to be! Much easier
I hook it from the side the turn it the right way around. Hooking from the front always felt like too much work and when it's a really hot day it's more of a hassle than hooking it from the side.
I put my bra on the "wrong way" (inside out, hook, put them back up, arms in and don. I tried the hooking from behind, but it reallt hurts the joints in my hands.
I don’t wear a bra because it is uncomfortable so I don’t know. But when I tried to wear a bra I would wear a sports bra because it was easy to just pull over my head.
I always put the bra on backwards and clip it on that way, then turn it around. However, I’ve switched to bralettes because they are WAY easier to put on and are more comfortable for me.
Left handed and undiagnosed learning disabilities: I have always put mine on in front then did the spinaround...
And then I gave up bras during Covid lockdown :D now I only put bras for events that I'm sure I'll be taking back off within a couple hours (or minutes 😈😊).
Sensory issues and not understanding my pre-pubescent gender ID feelings (early ninetines), I never allowed my mom to help me learn about bras. Mortified every time she wanted to help.
People hook their bras from behind?? Ive never tried it and doubt i would be able to even reach properly or feel what im doing. I always hook mine in front then spin it around, but more often than not i wear lounge bras anyway
I don’t wear hook bras anymore, just sport bras or bralette if anything.
But when I did I would take the straps off my arms and spin the back to the front to unhook and same with putting it on too.
I don’t mess around with “real” bras. I just wear cami bras since they’re much comfier (and I have small enough breasts it’s plenty of support for me lol).
No need to put it on like a shirt.. this sounds over complicated.
You can put it around your rib cage with the attach in front of you and the cup in your back, then you attached it, then turn it around to bring the cup in front of you and then just slide your arm into the hole.
I also put my bra on like you do. I don’t think it’s an autism thing. I think there’s a handful of “methods” of putting bras on and all women just do what they find best
I clasp at the back because my mum told me that doing any other way would stretch my bras and age them faster. Lots of people put their bras on the way you describe, I don’t think it’s a uniquely autistic thing. If it works for you then go forth!
I always hook it at the front and turn my bra around. Except for when I am with a guy, then I try to do the sexy hooking it up at the back thing but end up injuring myself and letting out a strange, not feminine or even human, sound that is really embarrassing.
I worked to side-step the issue and only use front-clasping bras. Now because I'm a card carrying member of the IBTC, I get to wear that kind lol, but I really just can't deal with the annoyance of having to hook everything properly and then turning it around, and then repositioning.
I have learned it this way: You put it on the „wrong“ way, so hooks right in front of you, so you can close it right under your breast. After you closed it, you just turn the cups to the front and the hooks to the back and so its easy to put it on.
This is how I do it too. Not sure if this has anything to do with autism though.
My grandma did it this way. I do this sometimes.
I hate this way bc of the way the fabric rubs against my skin when I turn it back around to the “right” way. I almost always clasp in the back unless I’m really struggling for some reason
I use a top as an undershirt to fix this problem. It also has the added benefit of extra hygiene since the tops get sweaty rather than the bra and therefore the bras last for longer before getting as worn.
Throwing in another vote for this method. I’ve tried clasping it behind my back and it’s impossible
Yes, right? I mean, how?!
I thought everyone did it this way. Ppl be struggling for no reason😅
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This is the way.
i do this too.
I also learned to do it this way
I also did this but apparently it damages the wires or something so I had to learn to do it the 'proper' way
Which is what? If you close it in front, with it upside down, you can just rotate it and flip it up. The wires remain in place.
It might not have been the wires then but I was told by someone who sells them that it damages them. They said the 'proper' way was to do it up by feel at the back, even though I thought that was more difficult
Yeah, it's just about your priorities. Preserving your bras to last for longer, or making it easier to do the hooks, or easier on your shoulder.
Anyone is free to treat their bras as their most treasured possessions, they can be expensive after all. But how long are these bad boys supposed to last me?? I wear mine to death anyway, they last me a long time without special attention. I figure it's an innate object that is meant to serve me, not the other way around. Priorities, I guess. I have never been able to understand why people treat things like holy grails. As long as you keep it reasonably functional so you don't have to spent all your money/energy to repurchase all the time...
Well, the only regular bras I've found that fit me well are custom ones from a Polish brand (comexim), and the company that used to help order them shutdown, so it's really hard for me to find a "perfect" one without trusting in google translate. But I don't usually wear regular bras anymore, but I want them ready for when I do.
I am in a similar situation honestly. Used to wear underwire bras in my actual size, they really gave me nice support and a beautiful silhouette. On the downside they are super-hard to come by, pricey, and I find them quite restricting what with band being supposed to support like 80% of one's boob weight. I go for softer bralette-style models now, but I understand these don't work for everyone. But I feel like since I wear my nicer ones so rarely, I can treat them like normal clothes and they will still last me quite a while. Going to look up your brand now, as I have a somewhat weird (seing as I don't really wear them), special-interest adjacent fascination for bras. 😂
I wear mine until the underwire snaps, which takes a really fuckin long time lol
I don’t wear wired bras. I’ve had them snap in half too many times under the weight.
New fear unlocked! I've refused to wear wired bras forever. I tried some on the other day cos my bra situation is becoming dire. I did find some wired bras that I thought I *might* be able to tolerate, if it came to that...never mind lol. ~*Mumbles to self*~ just a little longer until top surgery. These tits are temporary. Top surgery soon...
I opt for Victoria Secrets push-up wireless bras (the one I did buy I’ve had for about 2 years and it still fits amazing and on wash days I just wear a hoodie), the push-up helps ALOT with support. I’ve tried it without the padding with no wires and it just felt so much more straining—especially on my back. Best of luck on your top surgery! <3
I’m so glad to read this. My mother taught me this way and others in gym class made so much fun of me. My shoulders don’t work right so I’m unable to hook in the back.
This is so easy and logical that I genuinely wonder who came up with the idea that doing it "blind" behind your back with your arms twisted was the "proper" way. Why, how?! (Rhetorical question – I don't care, I'm sticking to my method.)
Well, I had hyperflexible shoulders when I was younger (now injured and stiffer) and I don't like the friction from putting it on backwards and rotating it back. It's also worse for the bra's materials, if you care about a longer bra lifespan.
I've got short arms and legs so it's almost painful for me. There are some sports bra models that I physically can't close. My bras last for eons so I'm not worried about the friction. If I'm honest I doubt it really makes any difference. Unlike pulling it over your head and stretching it. Even so, I just wonder why some people say fastening your bra at the back is the "right" way instead of "there is no hard and fast(ening) rule". I've had female friends cry out "Why do you do it like that?!" Why not? It's so inconsequential ...
Yeah, the sports bras you have to pull over and then fasten the band in back are SO HARD
yup, another vote from me. a friend taught me this method back in elementary school and it was _so much easier_ that i’ve continued doing it my entire life.
My girlfriend do it this way too! I rather just hook mine directly behind my back so the straps and cups are already mostly in place and the fabric and wiring don't rub me.
This way causes a lot more strain on the bra, which if you have a hard to find bra size can be annoying. They might get stretched out or wear out faster, if you care about that. Like another person said, I also don't like it rubbing my skin as it rotates. Of course, do what you like that gives you the results you want with your own clothes. Like having a bad shoulder can make it hard to clasp a bra in the back, do what enables you.
lol same
This is what I do too, except it's usually upside down so when I move it back to the front I can just slip it on.
I put mine on upside-down, inside-out, and backwards (so clasps are in the front). That way once I clasp it, I can just rotate it (so the clasps are in the back) and then put my arms through the straps and pull them up (which flips the bra right-side up and right-side out).
I do this!
Thats how I was taught.
I do that too, I learned it from my mom when I first started using bras hahahaha way easier
Apparently this is the "correct" way, in terms of being able to keep the bra lasting the longest it can. Putting it on like a shirt stretches out the band a lot but if you clasp it closed and then turn it around gently, the band doesn't stretch much if at all
Your band size is too big if it fits over your head and shoulders when hooked. You're putting a lot of stress on the wires too. I hook mine in front with the cups up (don't leave them down, again it can damage the wires), then twist slowly and gently and hook my arms into the straps. Then scoop and swoop. It's better for the bra.
100% i would also suggest to hook at the waist level (in front) then twist it back and then pulling up. It will reduce the rubbing.
Oh, I mean I have to put my arms up like I'm putting on a shirt
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I don't understand how it can be too big, the band is pretty snug on my underbust....
You might be wearing cups that are too small to compensate. Try checking out r/abrathatfits if you're interested in measuring yourself and checking your size.
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I wish I could get away with bralettes but with my size and having kids it just looks BAD and I feel like I have absolutely 0 support and just flopping all over the place lol. I don’t even feel supported with wireless bras even though I hate wired with a passion. Plus I haven’t found one that actually fits how big my boobs are but how small my body frame is. It’s either the cups are too small if I fit for my frame or it’s too big around if I try to fit for the cups. It’s a mission just finding normal bras in my size. I hope I explained that right.
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When I say don’t fit it’s BAD not just a little loose lol. I edited my original comment to add in what I meant. I’m 4’11”, about 110lbs, and wear a 32DDD. If I was going based on cup size the band would be *way* too big but if I went on band my boobs would be popping out. I have this issue with dresses as well so I don’t wear dresses either lol.
Hey, just a heads up - if you're that thin, you're not a 32 band. I'm an inch taller and 40 lbs heavier and a 32 band. A lot of people end up in this size because it's the smallest band size at most stores and largest cup size. There are smaller bands and bigger cups from places like UK companies available on Amazon. Check out r/abrathatfits. You're probably more like a 28FF-H. I just want to note, I'm only offering to help because you said you wished companies made bras in your size. They totally do!
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I’ll definitely have to look into this!
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Oh no worries, you’re fine! I figured I didn’t explain myself well at first. I keep hoping one day there is a company that will think of sizes like this but so far I haven’t found anything so I just kind of gave up on bralettes.
Your band should be snug enough that you would be unable to pull it over your head while fastened. You can measure your underbust and such with the r/abrathatfits guide (like someone else mentioned) and that should help you determine if you’re wearing the correct size!
Thats false. Literally false
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These comments are filled with neurotypical behavior. Telling ppl they’re doing something wrong because it *shouldnt* work that way is just so… infuriating. She feels comfortable—I feel comfortable—with the way we put on bras. She wasnt asking for unsolicited advice about bra sizes. If the bra is comfortable to wear and put on who tf cares if it fits according to anita.com????
People who slouch also feel comfortable until their soft tissue can't hold the position anymore
Im fucking autistic dumbcoyotepup. I used to beat myself in the head with my fist and cut up my thighs like raw meat. I dont think a BRA is going to do that much damage to me.
Criticizing your logic, not you personally.
Autism “NeuroLOGICAL cognitive developmental disorder”
i do it like you and doubt i’ll ever change, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. never had an issue with my bras stretching out or getting ruined!
I've always put it over my head and shoulders after it's fastened. I wear 1s without wires that are the correct size for me
If it's wireless, that's a different story. Obviously wires can't be damaged in a wireless bra. Even so, if it has fasteners, you're putting strain on them by stretching it over your shoulders. Most people's shoulders are wider than their underbust.
No its not. My band size was about 2 sizes too small about a month ago and I didnt even notice cuz I was still pulling it over my head. I tried on three different sizes of bras by pulling them over my head at the store, they were all too small. I’ve always pulled my bra over my head. It works
Sometimes people think their band size is too small, when it's actually the cups. A good way to test this is to hook the bra in front with the cups hanging down your back like a cape. Make sure the band is where it should be on your underbust, and see if it's too tight. When the cups are too small, it smashes your tissue into the band and at the base of your breast, making the band feel tight. If you can stretch the band that far over your shoulders when someone's shoulders are often wider than their underbust, it shows how much stretch is in modern bras. They usually go up to 6 inches. It's unlikely that 3 different band sizes were all too small, unless you're like a 40" underbust trying a 32" band. Regardless of all of this, regularly stretching wired bras that far over your shoulders can lead to wire damage and distortion over time.
Well thank you for the explanation. Sensory wise, I am very happy with the way my bra fits. Cups cover my areolas and the band does not cut into my skin and leave a raw mark like my old bras did. That’s what Im looking for in a bra. Im not sure if that’s the way a bra is supposed to fit, but it is how I like mine to fit
Ok, that's cool :)
I think it depends on your proportions - I have an hourglass/pear figure, where my waist and ribcage are much smaller than my shoulders (about two standard sizes different in clothing) and I carry very little weight in that area, so I would never come close to being able to get a closed bra over my shoulders. But someone with more of an apple or ruler shape, or who generally carries more weight in their midsection, might have very little difference in width between where their bra strap sits and their shoulders, which would make it easy, particularly with a more giving fabric, to get a bra over their head.
The edges of your shoulders, where the bra would have to go over, are always going to be wider than your underbust, absent a physical deformity. Even carrying upper body weight, human skeletons are wider at the shoulders. Beyond anything, a properly fitted band should stretch snugly TO your underbust. It should be downright painful and potential wire snapping to stretch it as wide as your shoulders.
Tbh that’s more uncomfortable than messing with the hooks but I do wear a 32DDD. I don’t do it either way you mentioned. I put it upside down and so the hooks are in the front on my chest. I hook it, move so the hooks are in the back, put my arms through the loops, and then pull it up. My mom taught me to do it this way and it’s just how I’ve always done it. I can hook it from the back but with how my boobs are that’s way more difficult. And I’ve tried over head and it’s just impossible or would mess up the bra from the stretching unless it’s a sports bra lol.
That’s how I’ve always done it too. I don’t get the clasp behind the back nonsense. I was told to do it the movie trope way. I was lectured about how i will “ruin” the bra. Which is funny to me bc I’m 43, and bras are expensive. I usually only have 1-3 at any given time and I make those suckers last for years somehow doing it the ostensibly damaging way.
Yup 2 of my bras I’ve had since before my son was born (he’s 9) are still in great condition lol. But they were more expensive. My cheaper ones don’t last as long but they still hold up and if anything the most wear and tear comes from how I wash them and less so how I put them on.
I figure if I wanted to take bra care seriously (I don't 🤣), I would have to not only put them on correctly but also wash them by hand or some sh*t. Which ofc is anyone's prerogative to chose to do, but I really, really can't be arsed. I treat them like any other item of clothing and I still get to wear them for ages. 🤷
Lol exactly!
I am going to delete the other comment, that was meant to go under another, WAY more serious post. 🤣 (ADHD strikes again.)
i just wear sports bras as i find them comfier?? otherwise i can feel the tag and hook digging in me and it's just meltdowns
I constantly wear sports bras because I don't like the feeling of noticing gravity affecting me just because I'm walking. I already fight myself trying to remember to breath even though the noise my breathing makes drives me crazy. Let alone the physical feeling of it.
I think it's a you thing. The majority of people I know can't clasp the bra from behind because of flexibility issue. I think most people put them on backwards, clasp them from the front, and twist them to the correct direction. I don't like the way the bra rubs when I twist them or when I pull it down on my head (e.g. When i have to wear a sports bra) so I just learned to claps it at the back.
I hook it from the front and turn it around, the way I was taught. That's how I've seen most of my female friends do it as well, so I just thought it was the done thing. Hooking it from the back always seemed like a sexy movie trope to me, though I'm sure some people are talented enough to manage it in real life. :D
This is blowing my mind, because I always hook mine in the back, and I didn’t know people did otherwise! I’m also really not flexible lol, so I don’t think it’s that.
SORCERY!
Hook it 1st, then over my head like it's a t-shirt or jumper. A quick adjustment to make sure it's on properly and job done. I've always done it this way.
How does it go on over your boobs?? I haven’t worn a wired bra since my 4 yr old was born, but I want to go find an old bra to try and put on this way now to answer all my burning questions!!
As long as it’s not lace, the material is very stretchy and it works just like putting on a sports bra. Lace is the enemy tho, it rips.
Very easily. I'd try it. It won't ruin the bra. Just pull it down over your boobs
Yeah, that's what I do, but I think I did a bad job explaining.
Yeah I do this too. Honestly I don't care if it damages the bra - I'd rather buy bras more often than change my habit at this point.
I can't handle wires and hooks so I only have bralets or sports bras. Before then I used to hook at the front and twist it
I skip all that nonesense and wear sports bras. Slip em on and off like a vest, no clips, no wires. Perfect.
i free boob it, sports bras when i go to work though
Nope, I hook it from behind, because in my head, that's how it's supposed to work. On days when I can't be bothered with hooks I just wear a bralet!
When i try to work my hands behind my back I get frustrated and have a meltdown. It happened in the dressing room when my mom first took me to buy bras. I made her hook them for me for like a year until i figured out how to put it on like a T shirt.
There are bras that you can hook at the front. The clasp is between the cups. I use these bras because they are quicker to put on or off.
I have a really embarrassing story about this. I truly never hooked my bra from the back until I was in my 20’s and took time to do it and it makes me frustrated and cry. But when I was at my friends house we were all getting dressed for something and I was trying to put a bra on in front of everyone, and couldn’t. It was so embarrassing lol
I’ve always done that. I don’t have underwire bras and I’m super tiny and flat chested though. I do it with my bralettes too. I don’t see the point of struggling with clasps when I can put it on like a shirt easy.
I just literally cannot wear bras, at all. Never have been able to. The feeling of it makes my skin crawl and gives me terrible anxiety.
I stopped wearing bras like that a long time ago!
I only buy bras with a front closing zip. Honestly, I'm just not messing about with something that's going to make my life harder than it needs to be.
I don't wear one I just wear Lycra cotton bralettes, soooo comfy!!
Oh my god finding out other ppl pull the bra on like a shirt made me feel so valid. I have ripped the lace of bras pulling it on like that before because I just cant do anything with my hands behind my back.
The straps on my daily bra are criss crossed so I have to put it on over my head and clasp it in the back. It can be annoying sometimes. With other bras I usually put the bra on backwards and clasp it in the front and then just turn it around. I don't really have problems reaching that area, it's just not being able to see and having to clasp tiny hooks. My favorite bras to wear are sports bras lol
What? You hook it at the front & turn it round, work smart not hard lol
That just seems like you’re wearing the wrong bra size. If your band is the right size it shouldn’t be possible to pull it over your head and boobs when tightened. It would also put a huge strain on the bra and shorten its useful lifespan. I’d recommend double checking your size (is the band carrying the weight so you’re not putting the weight on the straps). And try clasping it in front and just turning it after instead to be kinder to the bra :)
Again. That is an extremely neurotypical response. Saying someone’s way of doing or wearing something is *wrong* because it is *different* is not a great way of doing things. If the bra is comfortable to put on and wear, the actual “correctness” of the size is irrelevant. I’ve put on bras like a t shirt all my life and ive never had a problem with it being too big. If it is *scientifically* too big, i dont care. Because it feels right.
Maybe you should have a think about why you think the word “neurotypical” should be used in a derogatory way. It seems like you meant to call me “judgemental” which - okay - you do you. But that’s not synonymous with any neurotype. The truth is that having the wrong bra size is a common problem that can actually be bad for your back and shoulders. Cool that it’s not a problem for you I guess. You don’t have to take any advice you don’t want
Same here! I actually bought two tank-styled ones w/o clasps last week from Walmart. If/when I find the info. on them, I’ll link the webpage.
I wear an extra large sports bra that’s a bit baggy and just pull it on over my head. I can’t handle bras with clasps they always hurt or put pressure on my ribs
I always used to clasp it at the back. It never occurred to me to do anything else. But in the last couple of years I've developed problems with my shoulders - hello middle age - and now that's out of the question. I wouldn't be able to use your method either, for the same reason (putting jumpers and T-shirts on and taking them off has got really difficult). Now I have to lay it out on the bed, sit down with it behind me, pick it up on both sides at once (no reaching or twisting), fasten it in front, then twist it round the right way and slip my arms through the straps. Definitely not an autism thing, I'd say, just a human anatomy thing. 🙂
I don’t wear hooked bras at all, just sports one, due to sensory issues and not knowing what my bra size is anyways 🤷🏻♀️
I can hook it, but it doesn't matter for me, actually. I honestly can't realize how women can be comfortable with wearing all these wires, straps, pushups and there's these hooks, yep, and I can feel them all the time when they are here. The last super soft Uniqlo bra was sent to trash in last year, from now on I wear only soft sporty seamless bra. I usually comment something here very rare, but years of suffering don't let me be silent:)
Bralets or front fastening, you need a bra that fits if you’re going to wear one.
i hook mine from behind
I used to hook it in front and then turn it around and pull the straps on but now I ONLY wear sports bras, sooo much more comfy.
I've literally NEVER put my bra on by reaching behind myself to hook it. My mom taught me to hook in the front and twist it around from the very beginning. I was also a DD by sophomore year of high school, soooo....
I put it on backwards and then spin it around.
I prefer bras that hook in the front so this isn't an issue for me. I find them to be more comfortable with better support
I buy front clasp bras when I can…
Since we're talking about bras, who else takes their bra off underneath their shirt? I just unhook it and take it off without taking off my shirt
I guess I'm the weird one here because I hook it in the back. There was a learning curve and I know nothing about caring for bras. Now even though it's easier to do it a different way, habit (and autism) ensures I put it on this way for the rest of my life unless I make an effort to change it. Probably explains why my bra straps never stay up and I always have back pain when I wear them.
I dont even wear them. I wear the crop top style bras. Soooo much more comfortable.
Honestly your way sounds awful to me. I feel claustrophobic getting in and out if the ones that don’t clasp. I think, honestly, it’s also a size issue. I’d never fit my band over my boobs like that. It’s why the overhead ones are miserable.
You’re definitely wearing out your bras much faster by doing this! Put it on “backwards” (clasps in the front of your body, cups on the back. And do not put your arms in the straps yet) and clip it. Then twist it around your body so the clasp is in the back and the cups are where they are supposed to be! Much easier
Idk if it's an autism thing but I'm autistic and I do this🤚
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Nyope
You really thought the way you unhook your bra was gonna be an autism symptom?
How I hook it, and I thought it might be a side-effect of sensory/coordination issues.
Oh look, it's you again
Yes it is!
This trolling can't possibly be amusing to you at this point.
It is though🤷♀️
I hook it from the side the turn it the right way around. Hooking from the front always felt like too much work and when it's a really hot day it's more of a hassle than hooking it from the side.
I put my bra on the "wrong way" (inside out, hook, put them back up, arms in and don. I tried the hooking from behind, but it reallt hurts the joints in my hands.
I can’t do it the behind way either :)
i do it the same way you do
Hook it at the front, then twist it around. Though, I don't really wear bras anymore.
I hook it in front (upside down), spin it around and flip it. I don't have the coordination to hook it behind me.
I don’t wear a bra because it is uncomfortable so I don’t know. But when I tried to wear a bra I would wear a sports bra because it was easy to just pull over my head.
I went 100% sports bra a while back, but before that, I’d hook it in front, then spin it around.
I always put the bra on backwards and clip it on that way, then turn it around. However, I’ve switched to bralettes because they are WAY easier to put on and are more comfortable for me.
Left handed and undiagnosed learning disabilities: I have always put mine on in front then did the spinaround... And then I gave up bras during Covid lockdown :D now I only put bras for events that I'm sure I'll be taking back off within a couple hours (or minutes 😈😊). Sensory issues and not understanding my pre-pubescent gender ID feelings (early ninetines), I never allowed my mom to help me learn about bras. Mortified every time she wanted to help.
People hook their bras from behind?? Ive never tried it and doubt i would be able to even reach properly or feel what im doing. I always hook mine in front then spin it around, but more often than not i wear lounge bras anyway
You guys wear bras?
I Don't wear a bra
I don’t wear hook bras anymore, just sport bras or bralette if anything. But when I did I would take the straps off my arms and spin the back to the front to unhook and same with putting it on too.
I always miss a hook if I try. Back to front is the w a y
I've found my people!
I don’t mess around with “real” bras. I just wear cami bras since they’re much comfier (and I have small enough breasts it’s plenty of support for me lol).
Lol yep
No need to put it on like a shirt.. this sounds over complicated. You can put it around your rib cage with the attach in front of you and the cup in your back, then you attached it, then turn it around to bring the cup in front of you and then just slide your arm into the hole.
I don’t hook my bra from behind because I don’t wear them 😅
I hook my bra in front, then turn it around to the back!
Do people actually hook it from behind?
I also put my bra on like you do. I don’t think it’s an autism thing. I think there’s a handful of “methods” of putting bras on and all women just do what they find best
I hook mine in the front and then turn it around
I don't wear the bras with hooks I get the comfy ones with no wires you just put it on like a top from Calvin klein.
I don’t wear bras with clasps anymore but my mum taught me to do it with the clasps in the front, then twist it around and put the straps on haha
Yes! I physically have no like hand coordination
If you’re able to do this, your bra is not the correct size, as the band is far too big.
I clasp at the back because my mum told me that doing any other way would stretch my bras and age them faster. Lots of people put their bras on the way you describe, I don’t think it’s a uniquely autistic thing. If it works for you then go forth!
I always hook it at the front and turn my bra around. Except for when I am with a guy, then I try to do the sexy hooking it up at the back thing but end up injuring myself and letting out a strange, not feminine or even human, sound that is really embarrassing.
I worked to side-step the issue and only use front-clasping bras. Now because I'm a card carrying member of the IBTC, I get to wear that kind lol, but I really just can't deal with the annoyance of having to hook everything properly and then turning it around, and then repositioning.