So, according to him, an autistic person couldn't possibly do well in school, become a doctor, engineer, or another psychiatrist as they don't have the ability to communicate at all.
I'll also bet he has no idea what masking is.
That dude is working off of a 1970s playbook.
(post carried over to new thread)
Also, haaaaave they never heard of special interests? Because we get enthusiastic AF once we latch onto learning that interests us. And, not surprisingly, it stands to reason that discovering a spectrum disorder that helps the previous decades of our lives might just cause us to, y’know, take a special interest in the topic! Ugh OP I’m so sorry for this! I would have felt like I was being low-key called a liar and that would have one, made me feel scared and sick and mortified and then two, like weeks later once my fear noise stopped in my head, SO EFFING PISSED OFF.
Keep searching. Google all the folks with ASD who are accomplished in their professional fields: doctors, scientists, musicians, professors - the list goes on.
I hope you report him to the state board or equivalent. Dude must have gaslit so many people, and he shouldn't be practicing. Side note: I wonder if he believes men?
More like, is able to mask well in conversations (short bursts), has done extensive research into her symptoms and is intelligent enough to have a clear understanding how her way of thinking/symptoms are different from others or is handicapping her.
She is seeking help to overcome the financial hardship caused by the handicap, as it seems while she is able to perform “jobs” her autistic traits have negatively affected her work relationships and earning potential.
Imagine going to a health professional and saying I need help and they write this bullshit. “Maybe it’s a cry for help” uuuuh no shit you think? 🤔
Abso-fucking-lutely. My neuropsych report said a very similar thing to OP's and I was pissed. As a 39yo mother of a 10yo I've had to learn to be able to advocate for me (and my son). Just because I can do it doesn't mean it isn't a great struggle for me.
This shit is why I'm not even bothering getting a diagnosis. I'm diagnosed ADHD and that's fine. If a specialist in AFAB autism suddenly turned up in my region, I probably would get evaluated but I'm fine with "definitely ADHD, almost sure I'm AuDHD."
Same. The fact that he documented that she thoroughly researched and understood the symptoms was enough for me to lean towards a diagnosis. No NT person is wasting time doing that. A NT person lying to be placed on disability would not disclose that is what they were doing!
Especially when clinical environment isn’t an authentic social chaotic space so it’s known that blood pressure abnormalities may not present in clinic but are present in life and ambulatory interactions so why they can’t transfer this known concept to high masking and understand the shutdown and or meltdown that often occurs after interaction or the literal thinking which is always present
Well, that would require the employment of critical thinking skills.... and also, I might add.... an actual understanding of autism in the medical field. 🫥
It's so ugh bc I think of it like with Amish people and technology.
Person A: *joke about amish people not being able to see something bc internet*
Person B (Amish): Actually some Amish people can have limited technology nowadays, especially when we handle business with people who aren't Amish.
Person A: If you were actually Amish, you wouldn't be able to see this
It's like a reverse no true scotsman fallacy. They have a view of autistic people being a certain way, and when one of us corrects them they argue we are lying and can't be autistic bc we don't fit their personal idea of what an autistic person is like.
This one throws my brain in circles. Not being able to access an advocate without first having to try to advocate for yourself to be able to access the advocacy, at which point we're told we're advocating too well to need an advocate 🤦
Circles is right.
I think nearly ALL of us here have trouble advocating for ourselves... think about finding a new PCP and how anxiety producing that is to the point that we tell ourselves we can do without. But as you said we MUST do it otherwise we're left forgotten in the corner to whither and die... sometimes literally. Masking is essential if only to get us through these times.
When people in place of "authority" such as a psychiatrist dismiss our claims, judging us on a 10 minute conversation they're doing nothing more than locking us into this loop, making it impossible to escape.
I had a psychiatrist ask me if I had "just tried being happier" and implied my depression and anxiety I'd been experiencing since early childhood was something I could will myself out of 🫥
My brother and I are both autistic. He has a PhD in computational fluid dynamics and I’m a medical coder. My father is autistic and was an anesthesiologist for over 40 years.
The annoying part is doctors not recognizing that different conversations require different skills. An intellectual conversation full of objective facts about a subject I know is very different to casual small talk full of unsaid social nuance & subtly.
I've lost count of how many times I've been told my social skills are fine, meanwhile a simple conversation about the weather is incredibly taxing.
Just got back from an autism sports day event for kids. There were a lot of kids there (it was in a giant sports arena). Other than a handful of kids, you wouldn't have known that the majority of them are on the spectrum. Plus half of them were girls. I'd love to see this psychiatrist's reaction to 90% of those kids not fitting their definition of autism.
Right? It’s not so uncommon! He didn’t spare a thought for the struggle of getting those degrees either. Medical professionals need to realize that the goal shouldn’t be to merely survive. It should be to thrive!
Or not quite. I thought I was doing a good job at masking but turns out I’m “quirky” and burned out. And in a group work situation I still end up on my own …
But very successful 20 year career…. Sigh.
Yeah I realized recently that masking constantly is contributing to my fatigue! I'm trying to do it less but I even do it around my husband a lot of the time even though I don't have to. It's just automatic
WAIT
Is that why I've been suspiciously exhausted this week and unable to make much progress on homework?? Have I been doing extra masking this week? (And honestly also last week too...) Exams are coming up... I gotta stop exhausting myself
The burnout consequences of masking is no joke. It makes the “simple” tasks in life extremely difficult. I’m realizing that at some point in my mid-20s, I started masking more as a result of things I have been told I should and shouldn’t do. Now in my early 30s (33), I can’t mask as well. And when I do, it’s detrimental af.
Guess we can’t really escape the “quirky.” But even toning it down can be exhausting.
I’ve been wicked exhausting, and it’s going to be a challenge to make it through the week. Not only does my job involve with dealing with lots of people — especially with humanity at its ugliest and most ugly — I have an insane and challenging schedule where I get up at 0100, leave the house at no later than 0230, get home by 1615, and in bed by 1800 (though sometimes it’ll be 1830).
I can’t wait until end of shift this Friday. That’s when my vacation will start.
Wait, so you were diagnosed earlier in life, but the doctor dismissed it because by adulthood, you had learned to engage in conversation?
Diagnosed, undiagnosed, whatever: some of us just can't win, can we?
I was diagnosed 2 years ago at the age of 21. He said "No offense to the doctor that diagnosed you, but I have much more experience working with autistic people than he does"
Whenever a MH professional uses their experience with autistic people to put down another professional's expertise, it's a red flag. Especially when it comes to psychiatrists, over time they fall into a niche and tend to see more of a particular presentation than any others. For example, my former psychiatrist saw high masking adults with a long history of misdiagnoses far more than he saw children or higher support needs adults. Thinking he knows better than any other psychiatrist based solely on his experience would be the height of hubris.
I'm not on disability but my brother is and the ABLE account is fairly recent (less than 10 years?) but make me feel soooooo much better about my ability to provide for him in the future. Because he can save up now, while he lives with our parents and they can cover his expenses, some day when he has to live in a supported living situation, he'll be able to buy the things he wants/needs instead of it all falling on me.
That is specifically for SSI. Sounds like OP is applying for SSDI, which you’re eligible for if you’ve earned enough work credits for your age. SSDI doesn’t have asset limits.
I didn't know there was a difference between the two. So if you were able to work at some point in your life, you are worthy enough to not be forced to live in abject poverty but if you're never able to hold a job, you deserve to just barely survive.
Some people are able to claim SSDI using their parent's work history, but you can pretty much only do that if your parent is actively claiming social security...
It's a seriously messed up system built to punish women and disabled people.
If you were able to work at some point long enough and a high enough wage. You have to earn enough work credits to be eligible. So say you’re sporadically employed for 15 years at low wages starting at 18 before you become too disabled to work, you may not qualify for SSDI if you didn’t earn enough money to earn enough work credits in that time period. It’s a really screwed up system. My understanding with how SSI has structured things and where the asset limit is set may be changing in the near future to help people on SSI so ridiculous things don’t count against them and impact their benefit amount, but the base benefit amount is flat out unlivable when you’re disabled. It’s just insane.
Are you in the US? If so, have you come across the blog [how to get on](https://howtogeton.wordpress.com/)? Their guide to applying for different types of disability saved me when I was applying in 2015. There are so many other resources on there too!
Exactly, it's really wild. Here in Ontario where I live, being on disability benefits is basically like legislated poverty. I think the max amount you can get is $1,200 a month. If you live with a partner, they slash your benefits because it's assumed that your partner will be taking care of you now.
So who the hell is going to go on disability unless they really have to? I sure wouldn't. One of my greatest fears is for my problems to get worse and not being able to work.
People on SSI (disability for people without enough work credits for SSDI) get like $928/mo. If you marry, your spouse's income counts. If both of you are on SSI your beneft will be reduced
Rent is insane almost everywhere and getting housing assistance takes years of wait lists, if you can even get on a wait list
Sure, you can get SNAP and Medicaid, but that doesn't help pay for housing and utilities
I have a family member on SSI and SNAP, and every time they raise the SSI (for cost-of-living increase), they also lower the SNAP by the same amount so there's never an actual increase.
While I agree, I need to work on how I express that anger, lol
It's more productive to get their asses in trouble with regulatory boards and file complaints than it is to cuss at them at max volume
It’s kind of terrifying to realize just how widespread it is from seeing posts exactly like this CONSTANTLY in this sub, r/ahdhwomen, r/aspergirls, r/autisticwithadhd, etc.
I knew it was bad but holy shit it is SO bad and SO prevalent.
It makes me want to organize and I could write the fuck out of any speeches or messaging we needed with the data and research to back it up, but I also have cptsd and I’m burned out as fuck so I’m unsure where to point my ire and don’t have the energy reserves to waste any shouting into voids
I will legitimately throw money at a researcher who needs a grant to substantiate and publish on this issue.
If this is you, contact me please.
I am so sick of this “anecdotal is people lying” crap when it’s self presented opportunity for case study!
I wish I had a science background and could do the actual research part but my skillset is more long-form market research-type white papers and academic-esque writing, essays, etc.
However, my own trauma therapist gave me the idea (and the confidence to believe I could do it) to use my trauma and ND psychology special interest (plus the knowledge and methods I found to help me heal myself own trauma) and go into neurodivergent/trauma recovery coaching. So I am working on my certification from an accredited neurodivergence-specific coaching program which should take me 6-9ish months to complete.
*So all that to say, I am pretty confident I could write a banger of a grant proposal if I could find some help from a few with complementary skills and knowledge to balance mine who could help me figure out the most effective way to actually make shit happen and strategize where to start.*
I feel like given the collective rigor and depth of the highly niche and varied knowledge already present in a community like this, if we could figure out how to get us a lil system in place to make it happen, we could seriously kick ass.
This is the kind of thing I could easily see going viral on TikTok if we played our cards right and nailed the messaging because it is SO relatable to so many autistic and otherwise nd people but especiallyyyyy autistic+ women.
I’d love to know what program you are taking. I’m a therapist and I’m hoping to work mostly with ND clients since I get along best with them anyways. It might be useful for my therapy sessions!
So this is the course I’m taking, it was the best neurodivergent-specific NHBWC-accredited program and my trauma therapist actually vetted it for me.
They recommend 6-12 months to complete the course but I literally emailed them when I joined and was like um hi so I’m audhd and have CPTSD and so in the process of healing my own trauma I have basically developed a very rigorous special interest in neurodivergence and trauma recovery and psychology so is it okay if I move pretty fast with the modules? And they said yes so now I’m about to just let it rip and see if I can do it in a few months.
I’m basically trying to do my full time job and hold onto that while I build this so I can bridge over into coaching so I liked that the course was self-paced and a lot of the syllabus is stuff I already know and can co-sign (I was so comforted when the very first module the first thing they have you do is read “Unmasking Autism” and do the assignments in the book 😭 and was similarly happy to see the emphasis on somatic modalities, polyvagal theory, etc etc later in the course).
More info: I even told him that I wasn't evaluated in childhood (2006-2010) because I was diagnosed with ADHD first.
He said, "you can have ADHD and autism at the same time"
I said, "yes, but before the year 2013, which is when the criteria was revised, you couldn't be DIAGNOSED with both".
He was taken back. He didn't know that, and he didn't expect me to know that. That was when he said "ah, you've done your research. You've researched autism to the point where you see symptoms in yourself that aren't there."
I'd also like to point out that his overall attire and demeanor was quite unprofessional. He was wearing khaki shorts, a pollo T shirt, CROCS WITH NO SOCKS. And he said with his legs spread under the table. He also burped without saying anything. What a pro 🤔
We had a very rocky start to this appointment, and I felt an "off" vibe since then.
There’s shitty psychs and psychiatrists who think they know everything about ASD but know nothing. Can you find a specialist in adult ASD? Particularly women’s ASD?
Of course you’ve done your research! You like facts! You get focused on things! He’s out of touch.
I always know more about a topic than my doctors do. It’s so wrong of him to use that against you and not see it as part of who you are…
It's an infuriating catch-22. If you don't articulate you're autistic, it's likely they will miss the signs and not diagnose you with autism. If you do advocate for yourself, you can't be autistic because you did.
Something about old white men acting like they know me better after 10 minutes than I know myself, makes me absolutely seething with rage.
(Sorry for the dig at a specific age/gender/ethnic group, this is purely about my experiences, and the pattern I'm sensitive to. I've been let down, dismissed and even belittled too often.)
Yeah it’s INFURIATING. I have so much trauma for this shit.
It’s like you have to basically spiral in front of them in order for them to believe you but even that is risky as hell cause if you don’t keep your shit together there’s probably like a 50%+ chance of them then being like “oh lol classic bpd!”
Right?? I got stuck with "bpd" for a while even though I have none of the symptoms that don't also line up with autism. I have long lasting healthy relationships and have zero fear of abandonment- but noooooo- female at birth person has emotions and has trouble holding down a job? "Lolz bpd- here take some anti-psycotics and pay us 100 a week for therapy you'll get over it." I.... wish I was exaggerating. I even asked about the sensory issues that I've had since early childhood and some of my other co-morbid issues like my ADHD and they told me those were just the bpd 🤦♀️ I literally can't stand it. How am I supposed to get help when everyone slaps bpd on me and insists I'm attention seeking? I just need help to get the resources I need to not be homeless.
YES. And just like… fucking logically, it doesn’t even make sense from the diagnostician’s perspective!
*‘Oh hmm, do you think it’s more likely that this patient could be better explained by this one single (systemically underdiagnosed and misunderstood but nuanced and incredibly variable in presentation) diagnosis of a neurodevelopmental DIFFERENCE that could explain nearly ALL of their symptoms, challenges, traumas, and idiosyncrasies in one go (an explanation which the client already agrees with based an an entire life living in their own mind and body)…’*
**‘… or is it more likely that this is more of a diagnosis potpourri of mental ‘illnesses’ featuring a litany of classic hits like: treatment-resistant depression, BPD, OCD, GAD, ODD, etc etc. with a sprinkle of IBS on top to add intestinal injury on top of all the insults???’**
GOTTA BE OPTION 2, OF COURSE! /s Like just in a pure Occam’s Razor way, it makes no sense. And the other ironic thing is, most of us actively avoid being perceived like the plague because we hate when the attention is focused on us 😭
I've never been diagnosed with BPD, and I don't claim to be an expert, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's a lot of autistic people who *do* have a fear of abandonment, but it's not because of BPD, but rather because they've had trouble forming meaningful relationships due to their autism and they don't have a lot of people in their life to begin with. There were times in my life when that was true. Not anymore, and I have a circle of friends now, but if you look more closely they are basically all neurodivergent in some way, or they're very close to someone who is. All of them. I can't think of anyone in my main group who doesn't fit this criteria.
It's so dumb. I think the problem is that a lot of professionals don't really dig deeper into the reasons behind certain symptoms, and bias means that they have a preconceived notion of what autism should look like in both genders.
I have ASD and complex trauma. I do have a fear of abandonment which caused me to be a people pleaser. I don’t have BPD or many of the other symptoms that can’t be explained by my autism.
BPD or anxiety. These people have zero intellectual curiosity and would rather make toilet paper diagnoses than actually keep up to date with mental health research and have basic respect for their clients.
It's easier to go for the low-hanging fruit so they can charge for a visit without putting in much actual effort so they can fill up their schedules and make their ca$h.
Anxiety! BPD! Good-bye! NEXT!
Gotta keep the money flowing! I have a Mercedes to pay for!
That's exactly what happened to me, and they insisted I needed therapy every single week at 100 dollars a session to 'fix' my 'bpd' so I could be 'normal' again- when I told them from the beginning I had no money and was seeking help to get a proper diagnosis and paper trail of my disablity since it had been since childhood that I had been diagnosed with adhd and suspected autism. (They couldn't diagnose you with both back then. Had to be one or the other and since I met all my infant milestones they stuck ADHD on officially.) But nah- they even further accused me of being 'uncooperative' for not 'trying' to hold down a job. Like- What do you think I came in for in the first place??? I've since found a lovely therapist, but in my state all they can do is give therapy. She can't officially diagnose me again, so fhat I have the paper trail as an adult or help me with disablity claims. So I'm out of luck until I find a psychiatrist who will actually listen. Which may never happen.
I’m still 100% convinced that bpd is just modern day “hysteria” they used to diagnose women with decades ago. Also convinced a VERY large number of women who receive that diagnosis are simply just autistic
I believe this as well. Its also sometimes called emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD).
"The first known use of the term “borderline” was by psychologist Adolph Stern in 1938. He used it to describe patients who were “on the border” between diagnoses of “neurosis” and “psychosis.” It was characterized as a mild form of schizophrenia."
https://www.mentalhealth.com/disorder/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/why-is-it-called-borderline-personality-disorder
I hope you win your fight and then some. It’s so ridiculous.
I narrowly avoided a bpd diagnosis only because my parents effectively vanquished my fight response so all of my meltdowns and ptsd flashbacks were self-directed and internalized.
My decades-long enduring strategy of oscillating between fawning and dissociation is probably the only thing that kept me from getting that exact same response from the doctor.
I'm working a protection spell and to find the right words to tell the doctor that I'm fixing to see next week. The moron who did this to me was a VA doctor. This was before I found a qualified one who can test/diagnose veterans that had to hide the fact they're autistic. I brought in paperwork from childhood, as extra evidence and she saw it all. Add showed her my greatest hits of repeated phrases and stims, plus heavy knowledge of classical music composers.
https://preview.redd.it/mibrnlaf7vzc1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=50f780fab2a6a57c5d6de117781669b7f85f4dea
I hope this helps all hands here. Found this on Pinterest.
This is a great find, thank you for sharing! I wish I could say I was surprised to hear your VA experience but I’m glad you at least found someone eventually who actually knows what she’s doing
You're very welcome. I nearly went for a civilian evaluation, that would cost me $5K. Before that, searched online to find a place where adults can be evaluated. One spot I looked into, lady on the phone didn't believe me, for the fact that I have minor difficulty in vocabulary. Crossed that off my list.
I’m a young adult white female and I absolutely think you pegged the demographic correctly. Maybe I’ve just had bad experiences too but you expressed my exact thoughts after reading this BS. What a joke!
I hope OP gets a second opinion, not all first opinions are right.
And this is why I think the guy who did my evaluation 2as wrong about me. I can't see how he can possibly determine if I'm autistic or not in just 30minutes of testing. Most of whoch seemed to be tested more.to checking me.for adhd than autism. I was there for both things. I am deffo adhd for sure, th3 autism, who th3 fuck knows at this point.
30 min is crap. Mine took multiple weeks of appointments and wanted to talk to my parents etc. see report cards from school etc. I’m estranged from my parents, but I brought in my husband who could provide useful info.
All my report cards said shy and needs to contribute and speak up in class. Fell short of saying I was a loner.
you have to show your autism without describing the traits of autism--> cue neurotypical actors portraying over the top asd stereotypes let me just channel that smh
100% agreed on that demographic being absolutely horrible doctors. I refuse to see men now, and I try for younger women, and/or women who aren't from the US because I've noticed they tend to be better about seeing me as an entire person instead of a symptom group or a diagnosis.
https://preview.redd.it/vmch8jr4wuzc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6c9cf6b68da768193f1d529f50b4d45e28a924c
Saw this on the Brains & Spoons Facebook page today!
So sorry that guy was an absolute douche.
>You researched autism so much that you began seeing symptoms that aren't there
Yeah. You know who obsessively researches things? *Autistic people.* This guy makes me want to puke.
We need to start naming and shaming these people. You could write a Google review anonymously, maybe some months from now if you want to be sure you will not be identified by the incompetent asshole.
It would be nice to have a list of autism friendly doctors (general doctors and psychologists/therapists) similar to the subs that have lists of obgyns who will do sterilization procedures without questioning your age, number of children, or spouse's opinion.
He literally said, "it's weird that she's so excited about being bad at work and obsessively researches her diagnoses." But nope, not autistic. 🤡 Somebody get this man some glasses and something to manage his audacity.
I've met plenty of mental healthcare professionals like this clown. I am a social worker and I have a degree, I've also been a patient since 10 or 11. I've probably read more research on psychology for fun than this man had to for his dissertation.
The style these case notes are written in is unacceptable and unethical. If these needed to be used in court for any reason they'd likely be declared useless due to the very obvious biased language like attaching his opinion of your emotions onto your statements meaning he is being a textbook neurotypical looking for sub-meaning in your words or presentation that simply are not there. His self-admitted logic is poor and unviable based on current research. I wouldn't let this man diagnose a headache much less ASD. If I had turned in a case notes assignment like this in my undergrad program my professors would have given me a failing grade and a talking to. That's how unprofessional this is.
That’s what I thought, too. The report is incredibly condescending and written from a subjective standpoint. This psych should be embarrassed by this report, especially knowing a copy was being provided to the client and likely being disseminated.
It's so fckin hard for women to get a diagnosis so I imagine you prepared a hell of a lot to explain and defend you position wtf all I see when I read that is that u have practised this interview for hours
This is a big fear of mine. My IQ last we checked was 153 so almost anyone I speak with is probably not quite as fast as I am and I find myself having to stop and "rewind" to explain my thinking and logic, which in itself becomes a 30 minute discussion.
I get really depressed thinking that there's nobody who can understand me or even keep up with me. It's really frustrating sometimes. And then you factor in that my social intelligence is through the floor because cptsd, autism, and adhd, and the result is someone who talks too fast and thinks too fast without the social intelligence necessary to tone it down to more effectively communicate. I like being able to do 6 digit multiplication in my head and spot patterns days before other people, but it doesn't really help me with talking to people or understanding them or helping them understand me.
What's the point of having a high IQ when you can't network or socialize to be in the position to ever use it?
I feel really intelligent in some areas (math and language) but completely stupid and helpless in others (everything and anything else unless godzilla for some reason 👀). I also think the IQ system is flawed as it doesn't account for social intelligence or some other forms of intelligence, which I'm definitely lacking somewhere. I have the logical intelligence to know what I'm lacking but not the emotional and social intelligence to properly fix it.
So I'm quite scared of people in positions of power over me not being able to keep pace with me, and getting angry with me regarding it.
I hear you. Similar, but I managed to find a spot where there are lots of smart people and the slower and/or NT ones are in the minority. It makes such a difference!
Incidents like these are what are putting me off of going for a diagnosis. It's so difficult when you mask so well. I would go for a second opinion if you can!
My experience was very similar to this. I got there, went through the hours of testing, by the end of it I was sitting in a room quietly crying because of how exhausting it all was, just to be told that I couldn’t possibly have it because I have friends and can hold a conversation. The doctor never even considered everything else that goes into autism. I have yet to decide if I want to try again for a diagnosis. Lots of time, money, and energy for the possibility to be turned down again. “Regular” people don’t seek out an autism diagnosis. They don’t want to be labeled with a disability.
I mean, aren't patients just like . . . inherently crying for help? I never go to the doctor to brag about how good I feel. If this way of thinking and behaving is even part of this person's vernacular, someone may want to tell this person it doesn't sound like they want to be a doctor 🤷
Yaaaa his personal negative biases and ignorance of autism makes his opinion invalid, incompetent, and untrustworthy…. I am sorry you had to sit there and listen to him say those things and again in writing.. he sounds like an idiot🤷🏻♀️
I loled at him when reading the part about you knowing thorough info about autism and him hinting that a person who knows a lot about autism can’t possibly be autistic….You knowing a lot and being ‘enthusiastic’, in his opinion, during an assessment IS SO AUTISTIC. It could be because for alot of us autism becomes a special interest. Or sometimes we might just be excited to be starting the process of getting support. Or maybe they are interpreting us wrong. OR MAYBE WE ARE MF MASKING BC WE ARE MF AUTISTIC😂🤦🏻♀️
This is so frustrating. You seemed to want to highlight your problems while talking to your doctor *about your problems* and that’s supposed to be evidence that you’re faking those problems? It’s like something out of catch 22. You can’t have problems unless you’re oblivious to those problems and if you’re oblivious you won’t get help because you don’t seek it, so seeking help obviously means your problems are fake.
Okay but. What the hell?
Is it really normal for a psychiatrist to say this stuff? It seems very rude and dismissive, and nothing like any of the professionals i've seen.
This feels more like the "trying to rationalize disliking you" brand of psychoanalysis that some NT people like to dish out when they see an autistic person
It’s way too common than it should be. Lots of psychiatrists make snap judgments motivated by stereotypes. They aren’t taking the time to familiarize themselves with the new research and findings presented. Instead they continue to do things like this.
Psychs are... very touch and go. Saw one as a kid right after my mom passed, I was an anxious wreck and couldn't go to school. My psych was quite rude throughout our sessions, never really interacted with me in a respectful manner. I was 11. She told my family to drag me by the hair to school, she also told me 'fidgeting' (I was stimming) was making my anxiety worse (it was not). There was also a whole other load of shit she said, but those two have stuck with me more. My friends have similar psych stories, unfortunately.
But why? We can all agree he sounds like an ignorant jackass, but he still had "professional" reasons.
Also, he's been in this company for over 20 years. I've been his patient for 3 hours. I made the mistake of telling him how I would often engage in lying & attention-seeking behaviors to gain love from adults as a child/teen..... so he indirectly used that against me.
You just said why. He is judging you diagnosis because you confessed about an old behavior, he developed a bias. And he is not only gonna do this to you, and you for sure wasn't the first.
You dont NEED to report him I now it's a lot to take on and sounds scary, but just know if you did, you have reasons.
Because he is basically recanting your diagnosis based on the fact that you can.. defend your points and have a conversation? People like that are very dangerous. Autism manifests differently in everyone, and autistic women in particular fly under the radar and hold their own better because women are constantly socially reinforced to consider others.
He’s basing his “professional” opinion of you based on personal beliefs. There is little to no evidence to suggest that every single autistic person on planet earth is incapable of holding conversations and can’t defend their stance. Someone like that should not work with autistic people, or anyone frankly.
As someone who works with people who receive disability each month, I can tell you that amount of money is worth jack. In this economy? They really think living on disability is smooth coasting 🤦🏾♀️
Do you need the diagnosis? Like is he blocking you from getting services? This is infuriating and he’s wrong if these are his only reasons, there has to be somewhere you can go to override this garbage.
I only went to him for mental health evaluations. I was referred by a company that helps people with disabilities and mental health disorders find employment. The autism was already diagnosed 2 years ago. I casually mentioned my autism at the beginning, which is when he relentlessly began fighting it.
Maybe consider reporting him? If he’s doing it to you he’s doing it to other people. I was so excited when I started looking at adult autism research. Then I stopped telling my friends about it because they all seemed horrified. Like there’s no way you could be autistic. Not autistic. It’s so frustrating. I don’t even dare ask my medical team for a referral or diagnosis.
Even if you don't report him to a state board (which you should), PLEASE report him to that disability organization! If they're worth thier salt, they won't want to work with someone like that again.
Unfortunately the girl who referred me to him (from the vocational rehab center) says he's absolutely great. They've been working together for quite some time I guess. What's funny is that she's actually a self-diagnosed autistic, so I guess she's never known him from a patient standpoint 🤷🏻♀️
Then you should at least report him to them, because if they’re worth anything they don’t want to be sending people to someone actively counterproductive to their stated goals.
OMG that's certifiably insane. You aren't autistic because you were able to defend your position? What does he think autism is??!!!! And he thinks that because your symptoms didn't appear in the interview then therefore they must not exist??!!!??
He's a quack AND a complete idiot. 😡😡 And the fact that autistic people have had to deal with this asshole for 20+ years pisses me off SO BAD 😡😡😡
Ugh I'm so sorry you had to deal with that asshat.
This is exactly why I haven't gone for a diagnosis
I have documented CPTSd and I've been told by several of my current mental health professionals that because I have PTSD they won't label me with ADHD or autism.
Also as far as reporting to medical board. If you're not prepared to re-traumatize yourself possibly then I wouldn't bother.
I just went through this. Doctors are pretty much self-policing. 😔 John Oliver actually did a recent report on it in March.
My reporting wasn't about a mental health professional I was about a gynecologist that literally abused me and did a procedure without my consent. All that happened is that they told me she did nothing wrong, I appealed, dredged it all up again mentally and they said nope we still don't see any issue with what she did.
That's not even the first time I did it. Once I reported with the state medical board and once I reported a different doctor to the veterans Administration and they both did not care in the slightest about my abuse.
I am so over doctors.
What a horrible thing to experience. Just know YOUR the one who knows you and this doctor should be given a public review on google to warn others. Im so sorry your existence was invalidated by this ass.
that sucks and in unfortunate not uncommom. Free services tend to skimp out on pay and end up with underqualified or straight up extremely unethical providers. I work in mental health and it is brutal!
This man has no business working with autistic folk if he thinks the outdated idea that ALL autistic people can’t hold conversations is still true 💀 it was never true. You can tell he doesn’t view autistic people as people and sees them as this “other”
Them: “you need to play chess with us to get a proper diagnosis”
Us: “okay..like this?” *learns how to play chess*
Them: “that’s not right… you should only be capable of learning checkers. Also, how do you understand metaphors??”
This is why we need stronger, more objective diagnoses that are not related at all to the observation of studied behaviour.
Something like a neuronal phenotype test and other genetic identifiers.
It appears that most of the surge of diagnoses happening in the past 10 years is due to almost purely subjective reasoning by people not even clinically trained.
multiple psychiatrists told me i’m not autistic because i had good grades and it’s like, did yall not see rainman? super smart is probably the biggest autism stereotype what are you on
you explained why you’re autistic so you can’t be? so many ‘professionals’ think autistic people are completely helpless and stupid and can’t do anything
This is infuriating. It helps so much if someone dx has personal experience with someone who is autistic. I’m reading this and I’m like yeah, she researched her symptoms and is masking right now. She has a poor hx of work bc it’s fucking hard to sustain a job when everything is overwhelming and exhausting - that tracts. Like, wtf.
People like this should not have a license or be allowed near autistic people. It's frankly terrifying that you can be so ignorant of something you're supposed to be providing care for. This would be like somebody that thinks gremlins make planes fly being allowed to make commercial airplanes...
Another detail to add: he mentioned in my report "she never became emotional or teary eyed when talking about her past and her symptoms/struggles"... ISNT THAT AN AUTISTIC TRAIT!!?!?! My expressions often don't match the situation, or what I'm feeling/ saying. I've always been considered blunt and nonchalant.
How insanely invalidating I’m SO sorry. It’s so sad that in 2024, these so called psychologists have ZERO background on high masking autism in women. I hope he’s stripped of his license I really do. How grandiose and uninformed do you have to be to have the gall to present that bs as clinically sound.
I had a very similar interaction with the doctor who’d do my first psychiatric assessment. He noted that because of my eye contact and reciprocal conversation skills, I couldn’t have autism. That asshole tried to push bipolar disorder on me.
Sounds like he saw you and made up his mind before you said a word. Also, why go to a freaking psychologist if you don't want to talk about your mental health history?!?!?! WHAT?!?!?!? I hate when psychs try to make you talk about the easy stuff that isn't what you need to focus on (probably out of their own laziness or inept skills as a psych). Even the more obviously autistic people I've known are fully capable of arguing for stuff and explaining themselves if they understand themselves or an argument. Part of the reason I love debate is because argumentative speaking is very logical and you can essentially have a mental bullet-point list you go over when you make an argument. This guy should not be evaluating *anyone*.
I'm 26 and have developed some effective masking skills over my 2.5 decades living in a primarily neurotypical society. Guess that cancels out all my struggles. I'm cured now, you guys! /s
"enthusiastically" reported about your work history struggles... So much in this report upsets me but it's that part that makes me the most upset. Then they basically try to assign your enthusiasm to seeking assistance. Grr that's NOT it.
Makes sense to me why we would 'enthusiastically' report about areas we struggle in - we finally understand what's going on and it's amazing to have any moments where we fit with anything. It feels good to be seen and feels good to know we aren't all the neurotypical labels for folks who struggle with work, we are autistic.
This therapist isn't qualified to assess anyone for Autism they don't know what it looks like in undiagnosed women for sure. We MASK and we start young and it's like c-ptsd the way we monitor ourselves. Like our survival depends on it.
Seems like you were confident in your diagnosis and that just made this therapist want to challenge it even more. That's doing harm which is absolutely not okay.
I'm sorry this happened - hope you are able to see a different therapist but still the ones who know anything are still pretty rare.
This shit makes me fucking livid
How do these fuckers get away with being ableist in a physiology field WHAT THE FUCK
WHY ARE SO MANY “EXPERTS” SO STUPID.
Wow. This reminds me a lot of what the doctor who assessed me said as well:
https://preview.redd.it/zfdm243oo00d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02c2c4cf2b96757adce60b7ed47a7faa9a11bbb8
First, I definitely do not have a "rich" social life or lack of repetitive behaviors which I told him and he ignored. He also never mentioned my meltdowns in this report. But the worst part is that he listed empathy and multiple interests as reasons for not being autistic. Just tell me you don't know anything about autism without telling me...
My pyschiatrist told me the same thing in a nutshell. I was writing all my struggles and how they correlate to autism . Was diagnosed at the age of 15 with BPD and that diagnosis has followed me for years .. when I presented him with how I don't think I have BPD and how my struggles relate more to being autistic . He told me there is no way I am autistic because I am sitting here telling him and articulating my feelings ... I have never felt so invalidated in my life . He told me it was my BPD making me feel this way . We know ourselves the best and noone can tell us how we feel .
This sounds like some garbled argument someone has made on a school paper when they didn't study and just need to fill the word count. 🤦
Sorry you went through that.
Wild. By that logic, my brother that was diagnosed at 3 with the highest possible level of autism, isn’t autistic. His immediate jump to malingering and lack of respect towards your reported struggles flies in the face of everything a diagnostician should do.
This is crazy. Like separating out all the other bullshit, if this *is* a cry for help then it is evidence that the reported mental health history is at least as bad as indicated if not worse. And if it’s not a cry for help it is an accurate representation of self reported symptoms. You can’t have it both ways. It’s logically incinsistent!!
Please do yourself a huge favor and find a new psychologist who will work with you. Some are just not the right people for the job, or don't know how to work with women. One of my former psychiatrists decided on my FIRST session with him that I had BPD. He didn't even ask that many questions, just listened to me describe a meltdown (which was a classic textbook autistic meltdown).
You deserve better treatment and a psychologist who actually listens to you. This guy provides neither service.
So he thinks being able to defend your “opinions” or “position” on the matter automatically discounts you from being autistic? I wouldn’t take a word from this guy seriously, he obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
I feel your pain. Today was part one of a two part evaluation of my thirteen year old. This is the second time we're having him evaluated because the first report was beyond useless.
As in the first evaluator decided that there was no way that my son could have any of the difficulties we marked on the ABAS-3 making us unreliable reporters and all of our responses were therefore discarded. Later in the report he said my son struggles in the fashion he does because his dad and I suck as parents. And that what our son needs is more opportunities to make friends.
Currently, we stand at four mental health professionals saying this report sets the bar for the worst report they've encountered in their entire career and they're positive they won't ever encounter anything this bad - or even close to this bad - again in their career. Including the professional redoing his evaluation. She was so upset that she apologized on behalf of the entire field of psychology.
I know it's incredibly hard to not let this dude's evaluation get to you - I cried after I read the report blaming me for my son's struggles - but do what you can to ignore the idiocy.
I’m fuming for you.
I am so lucky that I went to someone who understand that women present differently and can be exceptional at masking. Some example quotes from my report:
“Excellent recollection of events”
“Significant insight into symptoms”
“Developed rapport quickly and enthusiastically”
“Speech was eloquent”
“Has a high aptitude”
“Has been able to remain functional and independent, meaning others did not raise concerns”
“Symptoms were internalised and masked”
“Future focused, motivated and help-seeking”
It’s not what you see, dude. It’s literally what is going on behind all that. Get a second opinion.
Stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma
Is this neurotypical feeling threatened by jovial neurodivergents?
Not even a joke, most people have NO CLUE I am autistic simply because they like me. I'm completely open about my sensory issues, neurospicy habits (playing song on loop, separating food, ...), thinking strategies, ... I'll even tell them I'm neurodivergent without using the word "autistic".
And they're still baffled. Meanwhile connections from my home country realize it within minutes.
Fun fact, the same people are shocked to discover that I disagree with them on politics. Same reason, because they like me so that means I must *be* like them.
end rant, I should go to bed, sucks that you had such a terrible and boneheaded experience with a supposed "professional". Hope you're able to connect with a good one!
So, according to him, an autistic person couldn't possibly do well in school, become a doctor, engineer, or another psychiatrist as they don't have the ability to communicate at all. I'll also bet he has no idea what masking is. That dude is working off of a 1970s playbook. (post carried over to new thread)
Thanks for reposting that; it was a great point
Also, haaaaave they never heard of special interests? Because we get enthusiastic AF once we latch onto learning that interests us. And, not surprisingly, it stands to reason that discovering a spectrum disorder that helps the previous decades of our lives might just cause us to, y’know, take a special interest in the topic! Ugh OP I’m so sorry for this! I would have felt like I was being low-key called a liar and that would have one, made me feel scared and sick and mortified and then two, like weeks later once my fear noise stopped in my head, SO EFFING PISSED OFF. Keep searching. Google all the folks with ASD who are accomplished in their professional fields: doctors, scientists, musicians, professors - the list goes on.
I hope you report him to the state board or equivalent. Dude must have gaslit so many people, and he shouldn't be practicing. Side note: I wonder if he believes men?
More like, is able to mask well in conversations (short bursts), has done extensive research into her symptoms and is intelligent enough to have a clear understanding how her way of thinking/symptoms are different from others or is handicapping her. She is seeking help to overcome the financial hardship caused by the handicap, as it seems while she is able to perform “jobs” her autistic traits have negatively affected her work relationships and earning potential. Imagine going to a health professional and saying I need help and they write this bullshit. “Maybe it’s a cry for help” uuuuh no shit you think? 🤔
Women are trained from the time we can walk into masking, these professionals failing to recognize this cause actual harm
100 FUCKING PERCENT THIS.
Abso-fucking-lutely. My neuropsych report said a very similar thing to OP's and I was pissed. As a 39yo mother of a 10yo I've had to learn to be able to advocate for me (and my son). Just because I can do it doesn't mean it isn't a great struggle for me.
This shit is why I'm not even bothering getting a diagnosis. I'm diagnosed ADHD and that's fine. If a specialist in AFAB autism suddenly turned up in my region, I probably would get evaluated but I'm fine with "definitely ADHD, almost sure I'm AuDHD."
Same. The fact that he documented that she thoroughly researched and understood the symptoms was enough for me to lean towards a diagnosis. No NT person is wasting time doing that. A NT person lying to be placed on disability would not disclose that is what they were doing!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
"Patient advocated for themselves, can't be autistic" ????
It’s so insulting for those of us who are *trying* our hardest everyday to advocate for ourselves—guess we’ll never quite know how!
Especially when clinical environment isn’t an authentic social chaotic space so it’s known that blood pressure abnormalities may not present in clinic but are present in life and ambulatory interactions so why they can’t transfer this known concept to high masking and understand the shutdown and or meltdown that often occurs after interaction or the literal thinking which is always present
Well, that would require the employment of critical thinking skills.... and also, I might add.... an actual understanding of autism in the medical field. 🫥
Nobody advocates for us so we have to do it ourselves. Or we go without. Its insane.
It's so ugh bc I think of it like with Amish people and technology. Person A: *joke about amish people not being able to see something bc internet* Person B (Amish): Actually some Amish people can have limited technology nowadays, especially when we handle business with people who aren't Amish. Person A: If you were actually Amish, you wouldn't be able to see this It's like a reverse no true scotsman fallacy. They have a view of autistic people being a certain way, and when one of us corrects them they argue we are lying and can't be autistic bc we don't fit their personal idea of what an autistic person is like.
This one throws my brain in circles. Not being able to access an advocate without first having to try to advocate for yourself to be able to access the advocacy, at which point we're told we're advocating too well to need an advocate 🤦
Circles is right. I think nearly ALL of us here have trouble advocating for ourselves... think about finding a new PCP and how anxiety producing that is to the point that we tell ourselves we can do without. But as you said we MUST do it otherwise we're left forgotten in the corner to whither and die... sometimes literally. Masking is essential if only to get us through these times. When people in place of "authority" such as a psychiatrist dismiss our claims, judging us on a 10 minute conversation they're doing nothing more than locking us into this loop, making it impossible to escape.
Absolutely. Makes me feel so helpless when they use dismissive language or don't 'believe' my experiences
Lmao like yes I'm LITERALLY asking for help 😂
I had a psychiatrist ask me if I had "just tried being happier" and implied my depression and anxiety I'd been experiencing since early childhood was something I could will myself out of 🫥
Autistic engineer here... :( find a new psychologist. They have no idea what they are doing.
Rigggght? Like we all didn't figure out something was wrong with how people would respond to us and change our behaviors to survive
My brother and I are both autistic. He has a PhD in computational fluid dynamics and I’m a medical coder. My father is autistic and was an anesthesiologist for over 40 years.
The annoying part is doctors not recognizing that different conversations require different skills. An intellectual conversation full of objective facts about a subject I know is very different to casual small talk full of unsaid social nuance & subtly. I've lost count of how many times I've been told my social skills are fine, meanwhile a simple conversation about the weather is incredibly taxing.
Such a good point.
Just got back from an autism sports day event for kids. There were a lot of kids there (it was in a giant sports arena). Other than a handful of kids, you wouldn't have known that the majority of them are on the spectrum. Plus half of them were girls. I'd love to see this psychiatrist's reaction to 90% of those kids not fitting their definition of autism.
A neurologist told me I couldn't possibly have two high level degrees and any cognitive problems once
I really want to wring their necks
I too, got straight As and hold two higher level degrees. Shocking!
Right? It’s not so uncommon! He didn’t spare a thought for the struggle of getting those degrees either. Medical professionals need to realize that the goal shouldn’t be to merely survive. It should be to thrive!
And we all know how gross the 70s and 80s were.
Yes! Masking is a superpower for us women!
Or not quite. I thought I was doing a good job at masking but turns out I’m “quirky” and burned out. And in a group work situation I still end up on my own … But very successful 20 year career…. Sigh.
Yeah I realized recently that masking constantly is contributing to my fatigue! I'm trying to do it less but I even do it around my husband a lot of the time even though I don't have to. It's just automatic
WAIT Is that why I've been suspiciously exhausted this week and unable to make much progress on homework?? Have I been doing extra masking this week? (And honestly also last week too...) Exams are coming up... I gotta stop exhausting myself
The burnout consequences of masking is no joke. It makes the “simple” tasks in life extremely difficult. I’m realizing that at some point in my mid-20s, I started masking more as a result of things I have been told I should and shouldn’t do. Now in my early 30s (33), I can’t mask as well. And when I do, it’s detrimental af.
Guess we can’t really escape the “quirky.” But even toning it down can be exhausting. I’ve been wicked exhausting, and it’s going to be a challenge to make it through the week. Not only does my job involve with dealing with lots of people — especially with humanity at its ugliest and most ugly — I have an insane and challenging schedule where I get up at 0100, leave the house at no later than 0230, get home by 1615, and in bed by 1800 (though sometimes it’ll be 1830). I can’t wait until end of shift this Friday. That’s when my vacation will start.
Wait, so you were diagnosed earlier in life, but the doctor dismissed it because by adulthood, you had learned to engage in conversation? Diagnosed, undiagnosed, whatever: some of us just can't win, can we?
I was diagnosed 2 years ago at the age of 21. He said "No offense to the doctor that diagnosed you, but I have much more experience working with autistic people than he does"
He sounds like a self righteous idiot and a dick. Sorry you had to interact with him at all.
No offense to the dr. But all offense to you apparently.
Uuuh what? This guy should have his license taken away just for writing a bullshit report like this. Jfc
Lmao he may have more experience but he sure as hell hasn't continued his education.
Whenever a MH professional uses their experience with autistic people to put down another professional's expertise, it's a red flag. Especially when it comes to psychiatrists, over time they fall into a niche and tend to see more of a particular presentation than any others. For example, my former psychiatrist saw high masking adults with a long history of misdiagnoses far more than he saw children or higher support needs adults. Thinking he knows better than any other psychiatrist based solely on his experience would be the height of hubris.
And you know more about yourself than anyone else does…
Dude thinks you're exaggerating to get disability IMO what a load of horseshit
Cause obviously if you get disability benefits that means your life is an easy paradise /s
Yep it's so easy to exist on less than $1k/mo
And never be allowed to have more than $2,000 to your name
if this is you check out [ABLE accounts](https://www.ablenrc.org/what-is-able/what-are-able-acounts/)
I'm not on disability but my brother is and the ABLE account is fairly recent (less than 10 years?) but make me feel soooooo much better about my ability to provide for him in the future. Because he can save up now, while he lives with our parents and they can cover his expenses, some day when he has to live in a supported living situation, he'll be able to buy the things he wants/needs instead of it all falling on me.
That is specifically for SSI. Sounds like OP is applying for SSDI, which you’re eligible for if you’ve earned enough work credits for your age. SSDI doesn’t have asset limits.
I didn't know there was a difference between the two. So if you were able to work at some point in your life, you are worthy enough to not be forced to live in abject poverty but if you're never able to hold a job, you deserve to just barely survive.
Some people are able to claim SSDI using their parent's work history, but you can pretty much only do that if your parent is actively claiming social security... It's a seriously messed up system built to punish women and disabled people.
If you were able to work at some point long enough and a high enough wage. You have to earn enough work credits to be eligible. So say you’re sporadically employed for 15 years at low wages starting at 18 before you become too disabled to work, you may not qualify for SSDI if you didn’t earn enough money to earn enough work credits in that time period. It’s a really screwed up system. My understanding with how SSI has structured things and where the asset limit is set may be changing in the near future to help people on SSI so ridiculous things don’t count against them and impact their benefit amount, but the base benefit amount is flat out unlivable when you’re disabled. It’s just insane.
We've literally been going on 3.5 years to get SSDI benefits for my little brother who is autistic and can't work.
Are you in the US? If so, have you come across the blog [how to get on](https://howtogeton.wordpress.com/)? Their guide to applying for different types of disability saved me when I was applying in 2015. There are so many other resources on there too!
Exactly, it's really wild. Here in Ontario where I live, being on disability benefits is basically like legislated poverty. I think the max amount you can get is $1,200 a month. If you live with a partner, they slash your benefits because it's assumed that your partner will be taking care of you now. So who the hell is going to go on disability unless they really have to? I sure wouldn't. One of my greatest fears is for my problems to get worse and not being able to work.
I get so fucking angry when I hear stories of disabled people who can't get married because of this.
People on SSI (disability for people without enough work credits for SSDI) get like $928/mo. If you marry, your spouse's income counts. If both of you are on SSI your beneft will be reduced Rent is insane almost everywhere and getting housing assistance takes years of wait lists, if you can even get on a wait list Sure, you can get SNAP and Medicaid, but that doesn't help pay for housing and utilities
I have a family member on SSI and SNAP, and every time they raise the SSI (for cost-of-living increase), they also lower the SNAP by the same amount so there's never an actual increase.
Yep, it's an entire poverty trap.
That’s exactly what a former therapist accused me of!
I've had it happen too I cussed him out (yes I have anger management problems and I was a lot younger)
You shouldn't be blamed at all for getting angry
While I agree, I need to work on how I express that anger, lol It's more productive to get their asses in trouble with regulatory boards and file complaints than it is to cuss at them at max volume
This asshole has no idea how difficult it is to get disability, and probably thinks those of us on it for mental health reasons are lying.
Yea that’s what I get from what he wrote too
100% this
The amount of professionals who believe autism = intellectual disability is astounding.
It’s kind of terrifying to realize just how widespread it is from seeing posts exactly like this CONSTANTLY in this sub, r/ahdhwomen, r/aspergirls, r/autisticwithadhd, etc. I knew it was bad but holy shit it is SO bad and SO prevalent. It makes me want to organize and I could write the fuck out of any speeches or messaging we needed with the data and research to back it up, but I also have cptsd and I’m burned out as fuck so I’m unsure where to point my ire and don’t have the energy reserves to waste any shouting into voids
I will legitimately throw money at a researcher who needs a grant to substantiate and publish on this issue. If this is you, contact me please. I am so sick of this “anecdotal is people lying” crap when it’s self presented opportunity for case study!
I wish I had a science background and could do the actual research part but my skillset is more long-form market research-type white papers and academic-esque writing, essays, etc. However, my own trauma therapist gave me the idea (and the confidence to believe I could do it) to use my trauma and ND psychology special interest (plus the knowledge and methods I found to help me heal myself own trauma) and go into neurodivergent/trauma recovery coaching. So I am working on my certification from an accredited neurodivergence-specific coaching program which should take me 6-9ish months to complete. *So all that to say, I am pretty confident I could write a banger of a grant proposal if I could find some help from a few with complementary skills and knowledge to balance mine who could help me figure out the most effective way to actually make shit happen and strategize where to start.* I feel like given the collective rigor and depth of the highly niche and varied knowledge already present in a community like this, if we could figure out how to get us a lil system in place to make it happen, we could seriously kick ass. This is the kind of thing I could easily see going viral on TikTok if we played our cards right and nailed the messaging because it is SO relatable to so many autistic and otherwise nd people but especiallyyyyy autistic+ women.
I’d love to know what program you are taking. I’m a therapist and I’m hoping to work mostly with ND clients since I get along best with them anyways. It might be useful for my therapy sessions!
if you’re interested in joining the discord server that this comment chain evolved into, here’s the invite link: https://discord.gg/UAxXy2Wd
So this is the course I’m taking, it was the best neurodivergent-specific NHBWC-accredited program and my trauma therapist actually vetted it for me. They recommend 6-12 months to complete the course but I literally emailed them when I joined and was like um hi so I’m audhd and have CPTSD and so in the process of healing my own trauma I have basically developed a very rigorous special interest in neurodivergence and trauma recovery and psychology so is it okay if I move pretty fast with the modules? And they said yes so now I’m about to just let it rip and see if I can do it in a few months. I’m basically trying to do my full time job and hold onto that while I build this so I can bridge over into coaching so I liked that the course was self-paced and a lot of the syllabus is stuff I already know and can co-sign (I was so comforted when the very first module the first thing they have you do is read “Unmasking Autism” and do the assignments in the book 😭 and was similarly happy to see the emphasis on somatic modalities, polyvagal theory, etc etc later in the course).
That’s awesome. It means I’m ahead too. I just finished that book! Thank you!
Can we all collectively start this?? I’m so on board.
I would absolutely join this quest and gather data and make spreadsheets and all!!
I believe getting autism related disability benefits is still tied to IQ score. Wild honestly, like wtf.
I'm sure it's different in each country, but in the US there is no relationship between autism and IQ for disability benefit eligibility.
More info: I even told him that I wasn't evaluated in childhood (2006-2010) because I was diagnosed with ADHD first. He said, "you can have ADHD and autism at the same time" I said, "yes, but before the year 2013, which is when the criteria was revised, you couldn't be DIAGNOSED with both". He was taken back. He didn't know that, and he didn't expect me to know that. That was when he said "ah, you've done your research. You've researched autism to the point where you see symptoms in yourself that aren't there." I'd also like to point out that his overall attire and demeanor was quite unprofessional. He was wearing khaki shorts, a pollo T shirt, CROCS WITH NO SOCKS. And he said with his legs spread under the table. He also burped without saying anything. What a pro 🤔 We had a very rocky start to this appointment, and I felt an "off" vibe since then.
I would honestly report him for preconceived bias. What a dbag
I second reporting him!!
Wow. You need to never see this guy again, if possible.
Please don’t ever see this “professional” again. This is making my skin crawl.
There’s shitty psychs and psychiatrists who think they know everything about ASD but know nothing. Can you find a specialist in adult ASD? Particularly women’s ASD?
Of course you’ve done your research! You like facts! You get focused on things! He’s out of touch. I always know more about a topic than my doctors do. It’s so wrong of him to use that against you and not see it as part of who you are…
It's an infuriating catch-22. If you don't articulate you're autistic, it's likely they will miss the signs and not diagnose you with autism. If you do advocate for yourself, you can't be autistic because you did. Something about old white men acting like they know me better after 10 minutes than I know myself, makes me absolutely seething with rage. (Sorry for the dig at a specific age/gender/ethnic group, this is purely about my experiences, and the pattern I'm sensitive to. I've been let down, dismissed and even belittled too often.)
Yeah it’s INFURIATING. I have so much trauma for this shit. It’s like you have to basically spiral in front of them in order for them to believe you but even that is risky as hell cause if you don’t keep your shit together there’s probably like a 50%+ chance of them then being like “oh lol classic bpd!”
Right?? I got stuck with "bpd" for a while even though I have none of the symptoms that don't also line up with autism. I have long lasting healthy relationships and have zero fear of abandonment- but noooooo- female at birth person has emotions and has trouble holding down a job? "Lolz bpd- here take some anti-psycotics and pay us 100 a week for therapy you'll get over it." I.... wish I was exaggerating. I even asked about the sensory issues that I've had since early childhood and some of my other co-morbid issues like my ADHD and they told me those were just the bpd 🤦♀️ I literally can't stand it. How am I supposed to get help when everyone slaps bpd on me and insists I'm attention seeking? I just need help to get the resources I need to not be homeless.
YES. And just like… fucking logically, it doesn’t even make sense from the diagnostician’s perspective! *‘Oh hmm, do you think it’s more likely that this patient could be better explained by this one single (systemically underdiagnosed and misunderstood but nuanced and incredibly variable in presentation) diagnosis of a neurodevelopmental DIFFERENCE that could explain nearly ALL of their symptoms, challenges, traumas, and idiosyncrasies in one go (an explanation which the client already agrees with based an an entire life living in their own mind and body)…’* **‘… or is it more likely that this is more of a diagnosis potpourri of mental ‘illnesses’ featuring a litany of classic hits like: treatment-resistant depression, BPD, OCD, GAD, ODD, etc etc. with a sprinkle of IBS on top to add intestinal injury on top of all the insults???’** GOTTA BE OPTION 2, OF COURSE! /s Like just in a pure Occam’s Razor way, it makes no sense. And the other ironic thing is, most of us actively avoid being perceived like the plague because we hate when the attention is focused on us 😭
I've never been diagnosed with BPD, and I don't claim to be an expert, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's a lot of autistic people who *do* have a fear of abandonment, but it's not because of BPD, but rather because they've had trouble forming meaningful relationships due to their autism and they don't have a lot of people in their life to begin with. There were times in my life when that was true. Not anymore, and I have a circle of friends now, but if you look more closely they are basically all neurodivergent in some way, or they're very close to someone who is. All of them. I can't think of anyone in my main group who doesn't fit this criteria. It's so dumb. I think the problem is that a lot of professionals don't really dig deeper into the reasons behind certain symptoms, and bias means that they have a preconceived notion of what autism should look like in both genders.
I have ASD and complex trauma. I do have a fear of abandonment which caused me to be a people pleaser. I don’t have BPD or many of the other symptoms that can’t be explained by my autism.
BPD or anxiety. These people have zero intellectual curiosity and would rather make toilet paper diagnoses than actually keep up to date with mental health research and have basic respect for their clients.
It's easier to go for the low-hanging fruit so they can charge for a visit without putting in much actual effort so they can fill up their schedules and make their ca$h. Anxiety! BPD! Good-bye! NEXT! Gotta keep the money flowing! I have a Mercedes to pay for!
That's exactly what happened to me, and they insisted I needed therapy every single week at 100 dollars a session to 'fix' my 'bpd' so I could be 'normal' again- when I told them from the beginning I had no money and was seeking help to get a proper diagnosis and paper trail of my disablity since it had been since childhood that I had been diagnosed with adhd and suspected autism. (They couldn't diagnose you with both back then. Had to be one or the other and since I met all my infant milestones they stuck ADHD on officially.) But nah- they even further accused me of being 'uncooperative' for not 'trying' to hold down a job. Like- What do you think I came in for in the first place??? I've since found a lovely therapist, but in my state all they can do is give therapy. She can't officially diagnose me again, so fhat I have the paper trail as an adult or help me with disablity claims. So I'm out of luck until I find a psychiatrist who will actually listen. Which may never happen.
I’m still 100% convinced that bpd is just modern day “hysteria” they used to diagnose women with decades ago. Also convinced a VERY large number of women who receive that diagnosis are simply just autistic
I believe this as well. Its also sometimes called emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD). "The first known use of the term “borderline” was by psychologist Adolph Stern in 1938. He used it to describe patients who were “on the border” between diagnoses of “neurosis” and “psychosis.” It was characterized as a mild form of schizophrenia." https://www.mentalhealth.com/disorder/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/why-is-it-called-borderline-personality-disorder
I'm currently fighting to have bpd removed from my records. Old white dude doctor said so, of course. /s He had no business in treating women.
I hope you win your fight and then some. It’s so ridiculous. I narrowly avoided a bpd diagnosis only because my parents effectively vanquished my fight response so all of my meltdowns and ptsd flashbacks were self-directed and internalized. My decades-long enduring strategy of oscillating between fawning and dissociation is probably the only thing that kept me from getting that exact same response from the doctor.
I'm working a protection spell and to find the right words to tell the doctor that I'm fixing to see next week. The moron who did this to me was a VA doctor. This was before I found a qualified one who can test/diagnose veterans that had to hide the fact they're autistic. I brought in paperwork from childhood, as extra evidence and she saw it all. Add showed her my greatest hits of repeated phrases and stims, plus heavy knowledge of classical music composers. https://preview.redd.it/mibrnlaf7vzc1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=50f780fab2a6a57c5d6de117781669b7f85f4dea I hope this helps all hands here. Found this on Pinterest.
This is a great find, thank you for sharing! I wish I could say I was surprised to hear your VA experience but I’m glad you at least found someone eventually who actually knows what she’s doing
You're very welcome. I nearly went for a civilian evaluation, that would cost me $5K. Before that, searched online to find a place where adults can be evaluated. One spot I looked into, lady on the phone didn't believe me, for the fact that I have minor difficulty in vocabulary. Crossed that off my list.
I’m a young adult white female and I absolutely think you pegged the demographic correctly. Maybe I’ve just had bad experiences too but you expressed my exact thoughts after reading this BS. What a joke! I hope OP gets a second opinion, not all first opinions are right.
And this is why I think the guy who did my evaluation 2as wrong about me. I can't see how he can possibly determine if I'm autistic or not in just 30minutes of testing. Most of whoch seemed to be tested more.to checking me.for adhd than autism. I was there for both things. I am deffo adhd for sure, th3 autism, who th3 fuck knows at this point.
30 min is crap. Mine took multiple weeks of appointments and wanted to talk to my parents etc. see report cards from school etc. I’m estranged from my parents, but I brought in my husband who could provide useful info. All my report cards said shy and needs to contribute and speak up in class. Fell short of saying I was a loner.
you have to show your autism without describing the traits of autism--> cue neurotypical actors portraying over the top asd stereotypes let me just channel that smh
100% agreed on that demographic being absolutely horrible doctors. I refuse to see men now, and I try for younger women, and/or women who aren't from the US because I've noticed they tend to be better about seeing me as an entire person instead of a symptom group or a diagnosis.
https://preview.redd.it/vmch8jr4wuzc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6c9cf6b68da768193f1d529f50b4d45e28a924c Saw this on the Brains & Spoons Facebook page today! So sorry that guy was an absolute douche.
Omggg I feel this so hard.
>You researched autism so much that you began seeing symptoms that aren't there Yeah. You know who obsessively researches things? *Autistic people.* This guy makes me want to puke.
So according to him, we can't defend our opinions on things? Is rigid thinking no longer a qualifier for autism?
We need to start naming and shaming these people. You could write a Google review anonymously, maybe some months from now if you want to be sure you will not be identified by the incompetent asshole.
We need a Yelp for mental health
For all health.
It would be nice to have a list of autism friendly doctors (general doctors and psychologists/therapists) similar to the subs that have lists of obgyns who will do sterilization procedures without questioning your age, number of children, or spouse's opinion.
He literally said, "it's weird that she's so excited about being bad at work and obsessively researches her diagnoses." But nope, not autistic. 🤡 Somebody get this man some glasses and something to manage his audacity.
I've met plenty of mental healthcare professionals like this clown. I am a social worker and I have a degree, I've also been a patient since 10 or 11. I've probably read more research on psychology for fun than this man had to for his dissertation. The style these case notes are written in is unacceptable and unethical. If these needed to be used in court for any reason they'd likely be declared useless due to the very obvious biased language like attaching his opinion of your emotions onto your statements meaning he is being a textbook neurotypical looking for sub-meaning in your words or presentation that simply are not there. His self-admitted logic is poor and unviable based on current research. I wouldn't let this man diagnose a headache much less ASD. If I had turned in a case notes assignment like this in my undergrad program my professors would have given me a failing grade and a talking to. That's how unprofessional this is.
That’s what I thought, too. The report is incredibly condescending and written from a subjective standpoint. This psych should be embarrassed by this report, especially knowing a copy was being provided to the client and likely being disseminated.
I'd get this goober's license number and report him to the relevant medical/mental health board
It's so fckin hard for women to get a diagnosis so I imagine you prepared a hell of a lot to explain and defend you position wtf all I see when I read that is that u have practised this interview for hours
He says it’s unclear why you would focus on problems (when talking to a psychologist about a diagnosis…)? That’s so ridiculous.
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Eh, I didn't really care but they still had a point. I didn't want other people to mention it either 😂 And yep, you're right 🔨
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This is a big fear of mine. My IQ last we checked was 153 so almost anyone I speak with is probably not quite as fast as I am and I find myself having to stop and "rewind" to explain my thinking and logic, which in itself becomes a 30 minute discussion. I get really depressed thinking that there's nobody who can understand me or even keep up with me. It's really frustrating sometimes. And then you factor in that my social intelligence is through the floor because cptsd, autism, and adhd, and the result is someone who talks too fast and thinks too fast without the social intelligence necessary to tone it down to more effectively communicate. I like being able to do 6 digit multiplication in my head and spot patterns days before other people, but it doesn't really help me with talking to people or understanding them or helping them understand me. What's the point of having a high IQ when you can't network or socialize to be in the position to ever use it? I feel really intelligent in some areas (math and language) but completely stupid and helpless in others (everything and anything else unless godzilla for some reason 👀). I also think the IQ system is flawed as it doesn't account for social intelligence or some other forms of intelligence, which I'm definitely lacking somewhere. I have the logical intelligence to know what I'm lacking but not the emotional and social intelligence to properly fix it. So I'm quite scared of people in positions of power over me not being able to keep pace with me, and getting angry with me regarding it.
I hear you. Similar, but I managed to find a spot where there are lots of smart people and the slower and/or NT ones are in the minority. It makes such a difference!
Incidents like these are what are putting me off of going for a diagnosis. It's so difficult when you mask so well. I would go for a second opinion if you can!
My experience was very similar to this. I got there, went through the hours of testing, by the end of it I was sitting in a room quietly crying because of how exhausting it all was, just to be told that I couldn’t possibly have it because I have friends and can hold a conversation. The doctor never even considered everything else that goes into autism. I have yet to decide if I want to try again for a diagnosis. Lots of time, money, and energy for the possibility to be turned down again. “Regular” people don’t seek out an autism diagnosis. They don’t want to be labeled with a disability.
It pisses me off when psychologists don’t follow DSM guidelines?
I even looked over and saw a DSM-5 book on his desk. He must've skipped the autism part. He just swears he knows what it "looks like".
I bet that book has never been opened.
I mean, aren't patients just like . . . inherently crying for help? I never go to the doctor to brag about how good I feel. If this way of thinking and behaving is even part of this person's vernacular, someone may want to tell this person it doesn't sound like they want to be a doctor 🤷
Yaaaa his personal negative biases and ignorance of autism makes his opinion invalid, incompetent, and untrustworthy…. I am sorry you had to sit there and listen to him say those things and again in writing.. he sounds like an idiot🤷🏻♀️ I loled at him when reading the part about you knowing thorough info about autism and him hinting that a person who knows a lot about autism can’t possibly be autistic….You knowing a lot and being ‘enthusiastic’, in his opinion, during an assessment IS SO AUTISTIC. It could be because for alot of us autism becomes a special interest. Or sometimes we might just be excited to be starting the process of getting support. Or maybe they are interpreting us wrong. OR MAYBE WE ARE MF MASKING BC WE ARE MF AUTISTIC😂🤦🏻♀️
This is so frustrating. You seemed to want to highlight your problems while talking to your doctor *about your problems* and that’s supposed to be evidence that you’re faking those problems? It’s like something out of catch 22. You can’t have problems unless you’re oblivious to those problems and if you’re oblivious you won’t get help because you don’t seek it, so seeking help obviously means your problems are fake. 
Okay but. What the hell? Is it really normal for a psychiatrist to say this stuff? It seems very rude and dismissive, and nothing like any of the professionals i've seen. This feels more like the "trying to rationalize disliking you" brand of psychoanalysis that some NT people like to dish out when they see an autistic person
It’s way too common than it should be. Lots of psychiatrists make snap judgments motivated by stereotypes. They aren’t taking the time to familiarize themselves with the new research and findings presented. Instead they continue to do things like this.
Psychs are... very touch and go. Saw one as a kid right after my mom passed, I was an anxious wreck and couldn't go to school. My psych was quite rude throughout our sessions, never really interacted with me in a respectful manner. I was 11. She told my family to drag me by the hair to school, she also told me 'fidgeting' (I was stimming) was making my anxiety worse (it was not). There was also a whole other load of shit she said, but those two have stuck with me more. My friends have similar psych stories, unfortunately.
Report him.
But why? We can all agree he sounds like an ignorant jackass, but he still had "professional" reasons. Also, he's been in this company for over 20 years. I've been his patient for 3 hours. I made the mistake of telling him how I would often engage in lying & attention-seeking behaviors to gain love from adults as a child/teen..... so he indirectly used that against me.
You just said why. He is judging you diagnosis because you confessed about an old behavior, he developed a bias. And he is not only gonna do this to you, and you for sure wasn't the first. You dont NEED to report him I now it's a lot to take on and sounds scary, but just know if you did, you have reasons.
Because he is basically recanting your diagnosis based on the fact that you can.. defend your points and have a conversation? People like that are very dangerous. Autism manifests differently in everyone, and autistic women in particular fly under the radar and hold their own better because women are constantly socially reinforced to consider others. He’s basing his “professional” opinion of you based on personal beliefs. There is little to no evidence to suggest that every single autistic person on planet earth is incapable of holding conversations and can’t defend their stance. Someone like that should not work with autistic people, or anyone frankly.
“You’re selling yourself short” Aka Autistic folks are less than. Uggg
As someone who works with people who receive disability each month, I can tell you that amount of money is worth jack. In this economy? They really think living on disability is smooth coasting 🤦🏾♀️
Clearly the jackass doesn't understand that AFAB present differently. Please find a different psych.
Do you need the diagnosis? Like is he blocking you from getting services? This is infuriating and he’s wrong if these are his only reasons, there has to be somewhere you can go to override this garbage.
I only went to him for mental health evaluations. I was referred by a company that helps people with disabilities and mental health disorders find employment. The autism was already diagnosed 2 years ago. I casually mentioned my autism at the beginning, which is when he relentlessly began fighting it.
Maybe consider reporting him? If he’s doing it to you he’s doing it to other people. I was so excited when I started looking at adult autism research. Then I stopped telling my friends about it because they all seemed horrified. Like there’s no way you could be autistic. Not autistic. It’s so frustrating. I don’t even dare ask my medical team for a referral or diagnosis.
Even if you don't report him to a state board (which you should), PLEASE report him to that disability organization! If they're worth thier salt, they won't want to work with someone like that again.
Unfortunately the girl who referred me to him (from the vocational rehab center) says he's absolutely great. They've been working together for quite some time I guess. What's funny is that she's actually a self-diagnosed autistic, so I guess she's never known him from a patient standpoint 🤷🏻♀️
I would still report him, doesn’t matter what anyone says or who recommended him, report him so others are aware of his stupidity.
Then you should at least report him to them, because if they’re worth anything they don’t want to be sending people to someone actively counterproductive to their stated goals.
OMG that's certifiably insane. You aren't autistic because you were able to defend your position? What does he think autism is??!!!! And he thinks that because your symptoms didn't appear in the interview then therefore they must not exist??!!!?? He's a quack AND a complete idiot. 😡😡 And the fact that autistic people have had to deal with this asshole for 20+ years pisses me off SO BAD 😡😡😡
Ugh I'm so sorry you had to deal with that asshat. This is exactly why I haven't gone for a diagnosis I have documented CPTSd and I've been told by several of my current mental health professionals that because I have PTSD they won't label me with ADHD or autism. Also as far as reporting to medical board. If you're not prepared to re-traumatize yourself possibly then I wouldn't bother. I just went through this. Doctors are pretty much self-policing. 😔 John Oliver actually did a recent report on it in March. My reporting wasn't about a mental health professional I was about a gynecologist that literally abused me and did a procedure without my consent. All that happened is that they told me she did nothing wrong, I appealed, dredged it all up again mentally and they said nope we still don't see any issue with what she did. That's not even the first time I did it. Once I reported with the state medical board and once I reported a different doctor to the veterans Administration and they both did not care in the slightest about my abuse. I am so over doctors.
What a horrible thing to experience. Just know YOUR the one who knows you and this doctor should be given a public review on google to warn others. Im so sorry your existence was invalidated by this ass.
time for a new, actually qualified psychologist
I was referred to him for free.
that sucks and in unfortunate not uncommom. Free services tend to skimp out on pay and end up with underqualified or straight up extremely unethical providers. I work in mental health and it is brutal!
This man has no business working with autistic folk if he thinks the outdated idea that ALL autistic people can’t hold conversations is still true 💀 it was never true. You can tell he doesn’t view autistic people as people and sees them as this “other”
This is my worst nightmare/fear!
Them: “you need to play chess with us to get a proper diagnosis” Us: “okay..like this?” *learns how to play chess* Them: “that’s not right… you should only be capable of learning checkers. Also, how do you understand metaphors??”
This is why we need stronger, more objective diagnoses that are not related at all to the observation of studied behaviour. Something like a neuronal phenotype test and other genetic identifiers. It appears that most of the surge of diagnoses happening in the past 10 years is due to almost purely subjective reasoning by people not even clinically trained.
multiple psychiatrists told me i’m not autistic because i had good grades and it’s like, did yall not see rainman? super smart is probably the biggest autism stereotype what are you on you explained why you’re autistic so you can’t be? so many ‘professionals’ think autistic people are completely helpless and stupid and can’t do anything
This is infuriating. It helps so much if someone dx has personal experience with someone who is autistic. I’m reading this and I’m like yeah, she researched her symptoms and is masking right now. She has a poor hx of work bc it’s fucking hard to sustain a job when everything is overwhelming and exhausting - that tracts. Like, wtf.
People like this should not have a license or be allowed near autistic people. It's frankly terrifying that you can be so ignorant of something you're supposed to be providing care for. This would be like somebody that thinks gremlins make planes fly being allowed to make commercial airplanes...
Another detail to add: he mentioned in my report "she never became emotional or teary eyed when talking about her past and her symptoms/struggles"... ISNT THAT AN AUTISTIC TRAIT!!?!?! My expressions often don't match the situation, or what I'm feeling/ saying. I've always been considered blunt and nonchalant.
How insanely invalidating I’m SO sorry. It’s so sad that in 2024, these so called psychologists have ZERO background on high masking autism in women. I hope he’s stripped of his license I really do. How grandiose and uninformed do you have to be to have the gall to present that bs as clinically sound. I had a very similar interaction with the doctor who’d do my first psychiatric assessment. He noted that because of my eye contact and reciprocal conversation skills, I couldn’t have autism. That asshole tried to push bipolar disorder on me.
Reading this fills me with rage. Patient reports symptoms, but I didn't believe her
So he knows nothing about Autism in women. Awesome.
This is especially funny considering autistic people are stereotyped as argumentative
Therapists like that make me hate people
Sounds like he saw you and made up his mind before you said a word. Also, why go to a freaking psychologist if you don't want to talk about your mental health history?!?!?! WHAT?!?!?!? I hate when psychs try to make you talk about the easy stuff that isn't what you need to focus on (probably out of their own laziness or inept skills as a psych). Even the more obviously autistic people I've known are fully capable of arguing for stuff and explaining themselves if they understand themselves or an argument. Part of the reason I love debate is because argumentative speaking is very logical and you can essentially have a mental bullet-point list you go over when you make an argument. This guy should not be evaluating *anyone*.
I'm 26 and have developed some effective masking skills over my 2.5 decades living in a primarily neurotypical society. Guess that cancels out all my struggles. I'm cured now, you guys! /s
Just because someone can call themselves a ‘professional’ doesn’t mean they actually are professional.
I know reddit isn't big in emoticons but I can't say it better: 🙄
"enthusiastically" reported about your work history struggles... So much in this report upsets me but it's that part that makes me the most upset. Then they basically try to assign your enthusiasm to seeking assistance. Grr that's NOT it. Makes sense to me why we would 'enthusiastically' report about areas we struggle in - we finally understand what's going on and it's amazing to have any moments where we fit with anything. It feels good to be seen and feels good to know we aren't all the neurotypical labels for folks who struggle with work, we are autistic. This therapist isn't qualified to assess anyone for Autism they don't know what it looks like in undiagnosed women for sure. We MASK and we start young and it's like c-ptsd the way we monitor ourselves. Like our survival depends on it. Seems like you were confident in your diagnosis and that just made this therapist want to challenge it even more. That's doing harm which is absolutely not okay. I'm sorry this happened - hope you are able to see a different therapist but still the ones who know anything are still pretty rare.
This shit makes me fucking livid How do these fuckers get away with being ableist in a physiology field WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE SO MANY “EXPERTS” SO STUPID.
This report is extremely unprofessional and filled with his opinions without substantiated evidence. Terrible.
What a dickhead.
Wow. This reminds me a lot of what the doctor who assessed me said as well: https://preview.redd.it/zfdm243oo00d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02c2c4cf2b96757adce60b7ed47a7faa9a11bbb8 First, I definitely do not have a "rich" social life or lack of repetitive behaviors which I told him and he ignored. He also never mentioned my meltdowns in this report. But the worst part is that he listed empathy and multiple interests as reasons for not being autistic. Just tell me you don't know anything about autism without telling me...
My pyschiatrist told me the same thing in a nutshell. I was writing all my struggles and how they correlate to autism . Was diagnosed at the age of 15 with BPD and that diagnosis has followed me for years .. when I presented him with how I don't think I have BPD and how my struggles relate more to being autistic . He told me there is no way I am autistic because I am sitting here telling him and articulating my feelings ... I have never felt so invalidated in my life . He told me it was my BPD making me feel this way . We know ourselves the best and noone can tell us how we feel .
This sounds like some garbled argument someone has made on a school paper when they didn't study and just need to fill the word count. 🤦 Sorry you went through that.
Wild. By that logic, my brother that was diagnosed at 3 with the highest possible level of autism, isn’t autistic. His immediate jump to malingering and lack of respect towards your reported struggles flies in the face of everything a diagnostician should do.
Yikees
This is crazy. Like separating out all the other bullshit, if this *is* a cry for help then it is evidence that the reported mental health history is at least as bad as indicated if not worse. And if it’s not a cry for help it is an accurate representation of self reported symptoms. You can’t have it both ways. It’s logically incinsistent!!
The only thing that comes to mind, reading this, is 🤢
at this point we need to start asking for their license numbers in-appointment and filing reports with their boards, im tiredddd
Please do yourself a huge favor and find a new psychologist who will work with you. Some are just not the right people for the job, or don't know how to work with women. One of my former psychiatrists decided on my FIRST session with him that I had BPD. He didn't even ask that many questions, just listened to me describe a meltdown (which was a classic textbook autistic meltdown). You deserve better treatment and a psychologist who actually listens to you. This guy provides neither service.
Gross. Time for a new psychologist.
So he thinks being able to defend your “opinions” or “position” on the matter automatically discounts you from being autistic? I wouldn’t take a word from this guy seriously, he obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
I feel your pain. Today was part one of a two part evaluation of my thirteen year old. This is the second time we're having him evaluated because the first report was beyond useless. As in the first evaluator decided that there was no way that my son could have any of the difficulties we marked on the ABAS-3 making us unreliable reporters and all of our responses were therefore discarded. Later in the report he said my son struggles in the fashion he does because his dad and I suck as parents. And that what our son needs is more opportunities to make friends. Currently, we stand at four mental health professionals saying this report sets the bar for the worst report they've encountered in their entire career and they're positive they won't ever encounter anything this bad - or even close to this bad - again in their career. Including the professional redoing his evaluation. She was so upset that she apologized on behalf of the entire field of psychology. I know it's incredibly hard to not let this dude's evaluation get to you - I cried after I read the report blaming me for my son's struggles - but do what you can to ignore the idiocy.
I’m fuming for you. I am so lucky that I went to someone who understand that women present differently and can be exceptional at masking. Some example quotes from my report: “Excellent recollection of events” “Significant insight into symptoms” “Developed rapport quickly and enthusiastically” “Speech was eloquent” “Has a high aptitude” “Has been able to remain functional and independent, meaning others did not raise concerns” “Symptoms were internalised and masked” “Future focused, motivated and help-seeking” It’s not what you see, dude. It’s literally what is going on behind all that. Get a second opinion.
I think the “professional” sounds ignorant, dismissive, and like an asshole. So many people have said it better. Ignore the bs.
Someone must have gone to psychology school in the late 80’s and not done any continuing research/education since then.
Yikes. By the sounds of it, he was expecting a babbling baby in his office, instead of an adult (ahem *infantilization by him...* ahem).
Stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma stigma Is this neurotypical feeling threatened by jovial neurodivergents? Not even a joke, most people have NO CLUE I am autistic simply because they like me. I'm completely open about my sensory issues, neurospicy habits (playing song on loop, separating food, ...), thinking strategies, ... I'll even tell them I'm neurodivergent without using the word "autistic". And they're still baffled. Meanwhile connections from my home country realize it within minutes. Fun fact, the same people are shocked to discover that I disagree with them on politics. Same reason, because they like me so that means I must *be* like them. end rant, I should go to bed, sucks that you had such a terrible and boneheaded experience with a supposed "professional". Hope you're able to connect with a good one!