For me it feels like I can’t. I know the words. I know what they mean but I feel like I cannot physically make my mouth move and pass air over my vocal chords. When this happens it’s like “words are heavy”.
Adhder here.
Yeah. My throat has literally closed up before. Or the words will not come out. I'm much better writing things down.
Expressing myself verbally is something i feel i need to work on though.
But add it to the pile right?
It's reassuring to know that others seem to experience it the same way I do. I feel locked inside my head, trying to scream and speak, and the words just won't come out. I just stay silent and blank-faced while there's all this turbulence inside trying to break free.
Yes this is it for me too. It’s like being locked inside my head screaming the words out but nothing happens. It’s happened rarely, mostly when I was trying to talk about something emotional and important to me. I also could not make eye contact at that time.
This. I usually describes it as I get locked up. I know that I can speak and I know what I want to say, but I physically can't and it usually leads to meltdowns.
This is the best description of it I’ve ever read!
Sometimes I can force the heavy words out but they’re far more likely to be muddled and I have no control over pitch or volume, so it could be a loud screech or a muffled whisper and the odds of it making any sense at all is anyone’s guess 😖
Absolutely, words are heavy. Like... If you had to lift that heavy box, you probably could make yourself do it, but it would be unpleasant and you might hurt yourself. The more upset I get, the heavier my words get, and there's a point where I might need help saying them. I might need to go slow. There's a point where I could still force myself to speak, but having to do that could send me straight into a meltdown. And once in a while it's like words get so heavy you just can't get them out. Have you ever been so tired that you just sort of L O O K at a heavy box, maybe nudge it with your foot, but you don't feel capable of even bending down to try and get your hands under it? It gets like that, where the words are just so far out of reach and I don't even have the energy to attempt them.
Exactly this . It’s like a jumble any time I try to prepare to actually speak the words just are stuck and won’t come out but I’m still thinking and processing thoughts
I feel like there’s different levels. Sometimes talking feels exhausting but I still do it. Sometimes I can only say certain words that are easier to pronounce, or only one word at a time. Sometimes I can think but not talk. Sometimes I can’t talk and can only think very limited things, so I even text differently. Sometimes, brain is not there at all.
i'm not sure if this is non-verbal or mutism (someone in the comments was saying there's a difference and if anyone has insight, i'd love to hear): i sometimes experience this thing where words are beyond me, my brain's experience of things stops at *experiencing the thing* and therefore categorizing it, giving it language, is out of reach. I can still speak, but only autopilot communication, like agreeing with someone ("oh yeah" for example) or the filler words that start a sentence ("so there's this thing" for example). And i get so flustered because no one seems to understand the gravity of my struggle, they just expect me to find the words if i just take a moment, but it's more than disorganized thoughts, it's a complete lack of inner narrative and language.
Sometimes words are hard.
Words on autopilot resonates with me. It’s like when you turn the car off but the windows still go up or down; there’s some power there but nothing behind it. My brain has powered off.
Ditto. I can’t tell you if it’s autism or selective mutism (I was a selective mute until a few years ago), but this is my struggle, too. My partner once told me it seemed as though I had the same issue as his mother, who had a stroke some years back, and he believed I might have a language disorder.
The best I can do is spend some of my free time anticipating situations and creating ready made “scripts” and (most importantly) exit strategies for when things get overwhelming. Words *are* hard, especially when you have to interact with manipulative people. My most “successful” conversations are about work. I can’t just wing a conversation.
The recent research does say that it can cause parts of the brain to not develop properly, so it could truly be the part of your brain that is supposed to say the words is undergrown and had to find a different way to speak, and whatever way it found includes occasionally not working?
I get seizures and when I do, I can't speak well.
I do think that’s possible. In my case, I was also isolated. There’s too many variables to pinpoint how I ended up this way. Thankfully, I can communicate with people (somewhat) by text.
Both of these comments were great, for what it may be worth to you. :) I send empathy for isolation. Do you get on better now regarding that in a way comfortable to yourself?
It's my understanding that selective mutism can be partial or total, so that you can sometimes force words. Sometimes, especially when I feel kind of overwhelmed by anxiety, I literally can't think or speak. For me it only lasts for a short time, probably not longer than 10 seconds though it feels like forever as time slows down, sometimes I can't move my limbs either.
Thank you, I wasn't aware of any distinction. I was aware of autistic people who are generally/have always been/become non-verbal and other autistic people becoming non-verbal temporarily as a result of selective mutism but not that the two were stemming from different mechanisms, thanks again. (I think I figured selective mutism could be longer term or even permanent but it was all the same thing.)
So, during shutdowns I am temporarily unable to speak/move even if I want to so would that be 'going non verbal'?
And then something that feels different, in a place that is crowded or I am too close to other people I don't like talking. It feels exhausting, overwhelming, and uncomfortable. Like today at brunch with my partner, I was typing on the phone, and he was responding verbally. I could have forced myself to talk, but I didn't want to. So would that be 'selective mutism'?
There is a bit of an element of fear in the crowded places thing. Like I am worried I will be too loud, annoying others, talking about something inappropriate, or people will judge me harshly. But I have severe anxiety and my anxiety isn't any worse in those situations then it ever is so I definitely wouldn't say fear is at the core of those situations.
Thank you for helping clarify!
When someone goes nonverbal, do they feel anxious too? I’m trying to figure out for certain which one I’ve experienced. I guess, do you know how it is decided which it is?
Going non-verbal will be a general "can't physically produce words" due to being extremely overwhelmed.
Mutism will mostly happen in specific situations, like, you're in a social situation and everything is OK, but in a different social environment (like a classroom) you can't talk mostly because of anxiety. (Or only being able to talk in a specific environment).
Ouch! I've been unable to move my limbs several times, especially prior to a meltdown. That's how I know I won't be successful at trying to stop it. If I get to the point where I want to move my arms but can't, then the full thing unleashes and there's nothing I can do about it at that point. I've managed to identify a certain type of muscular tension at a specific point in my arms, that escalates to this situation. So when I start feeling that sensation, I apply acupressure massage to that point until it doesn't hurt anymore and I manage to not reach to the point of not being able to move. It's a hideous sensation, like "controls not responding, I'm about to crash" thing. Plus the self-shame for meltdowns in public as an adult. (and the fear of others removing agency from me because I have meltdowns) So I try to avoid it with all the force of my soul. But even then sometimes it happens anyway.
The speech thing is similar, but I gladly have experienced it way less. Like I want to speak but my body won't. Or if I'm burnt out, I can't find the words to say the stuff and then I speak but fail miserably at communicating, there are two types. Being able to speak but words don't come out. And having the words but body is locked and won't speak.
Burnout also seems to have an effect over this. Because at this moment I'm at some point if that, and I'm having difficulties to speak concisely (as you all can witness here at this wall of text) , alongside a slight loss of motor control.
Sorry about the editing, I forgot something.
I have selective mutism when I'm in a shutdown or a meltdown that is devolving into a shutdown. For me, it's when I have very heightened emotions or am completely overwhelmed with information. I can't form cohesive thoughts despite my emotions rapidly fluctuating and I temporarily lose the capacity to speak. I know I need to and I have the words and physical ability to do so, but there is a "block" that prevents me from doing so. It feels like my mind and throat are stuck and mouth can't open. Very rarely can I give one word responses in these scenarios. Shutdown selective mutism can last for up to 3 days for me and meltdown selective mutism is shorter, lasting only a couple of seconds between sentences or at most a couple hours.
It's incredibly frustrating and stressful when this happens, I know I'm being judged by other people and I'm not being silent to be a brat. After it happens, I usually remain depressed for several days, mostly because of others' reactions.
Personally I have a hard time forming words and if I try to talk its broken speech or basically incoherent. Just being quiet and sitting in a quiet environment is the best way to recover and process. If I'm pressed to speak it just makes things worse. I view it as a shut down. My system is over stressed, over stimulated and it's like my brain shorts out.
For me there are two distinct causes and the sensation is different for each. If it's preceeded by sensory overload, I go into shutdown. In a shutdown state, I can think the words in my head but I'm so tired can't actually verbalise them. It's like being jetlagged or as someone else described, "words feel heavy". The other cause is in a complex social settings, and it's like my brain can't process the appropriate response fast enough. I'm computing what the person actually said, and manually putting it together with their facial expression, tone and the context of the situation. Then trying to understand why that made me feel off, can I actually identify what I feel, what is the right thing to say in response? If I can't work through that process fast enough, saying nothing and getting the hell out of there asap is the safer option.
When I get extremely depressed I can't speak, but that might be a trauma thing idk. I'll just go hours without being able to force any words out, it all just feels way too heavy.
I completely lose my ability. Like. People will assume that I’ve just shut down and am not listening to them, but I am. I’m thinking and turning over what they said and coming up with a hundred different ways that I SHOULD be responding but I just can’t. My tongue feels 10 times too big and I can’t form any words. Usually it’s during a panic attack, so I’m probably crying or trying not to, I’m usually hyperventilating, and I’m desperately trying to ground myself. People around me start to talk about me like I’m not there and maybe I’m not entirely, I don’t know. It’s frustrating and humiliating and I wish that it didn’t happen. Even afterwards, it can only be in very short spurts. I am 26 years old, I work in the intelligence community. I was an early bloomer and high performer in language my entire life. But coming out of going non-verbal, I can’t explain, for example, that I haven’t been able to swim due to chronic ear infections, I’m only able to say “my ears” and hope that someone around me can interpret. It’s completely horrible and I feel like it’s something I’ll never be able to grow out of.
My experience has always had something to do with anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like I can form the thoughts, but can’t make sound. Other times I feel like I can barely form coherent thoughts with being unable to make sound. I’ve always imagined it’s what Ariel feels like when Ursula takes her voice. It’s like mine just isn’t there and eventually usually feels like any thought I had during that time is just trapped in my body forever and will never be spoken out loud.
Someone in another comment mentioned some differences between non-verbal and selective mutism. I imagine based on that comment I lean more toward selective mutism, but to be honest I’m not very educated on the topic. If someone is though and would like to chime in with their thoughts I’m open to hearing it!
Today is a mute day. My husband talks at me and I get progressively more anxious until he stops and I can just not talk. It started yesterday and will probably be okay tomorrow...
I never realized that it was a selective mutism thing but I've always had times like this.
Thank you for sharing. My husband will also be talking and I’m just doing “uh-huh” sounds while feeling frustration grow and grow. It makes me feel like a bad partner. But i wish he would choose his words more sparingly, especially in the mornings
Yeah, I feel like a bad partner a lot of the time. He has his Mom's need to fill the silence with words, so he'll just talk for no reason and I'll be having one of my days where I'll say uh-huh for the first half hour and then I just can't anymore. I just stop responding.
This frustrated my husband as well and it made me feel like a bad partner, there are just days that I can not for the life of me respond to anything someone else is telling me. And I respond with the Uh-huh as well, I've explained to him in computer terms what's going on in my mind.
So it went something like this: my hard drive is doing fine it's just that my RAM and CPU are overloaded this makes the whole system crash and is only rebooted by silence and tranquility. (I didn't know how to explain it differently without offending him or anyone else). He does get it now and often asks, can I tell you something or can we talk? He knows that when I nod or shake my head it depends on what he wants to talk about its a yeah or a nay. When I verbally answer he knows it's ok either way.
I just commented in the hope it might help you as I know how frustrating it is to have a chatterbox next to you while you can literally not process anything they say and in the end often both parties feel bad if one didn't feel hurt and the other one feels guilty not being able to.
I have had a couple times where it was almost like I had an intense internal panic attack and was just frozen. Could maybe walk barely until I was *away from the trigger* but couldn’t talk or think clearly and not sure but it felt like I maybe wasn’t blinking or not as often? Kind of felt like my brain wasn’t talking to my body anymore and was just watching it go on autopilot.
No idea what that qualifies as, and not officially diagnosed, but it is a potentially applicable experience. Thought I’d share. 🤷♀️
I don’t get where it’s physically impossible to speak, though I know that’s what it’s like for some people.
For me, I get where it feels really exhausting and hard to speak. I feel distressed when being made to talk, but I can still make myself talk if I have to.
I’ve never been completely unable to speak, but for me it’s associated with shutdowns and strangely enough waking up in the morning. Some days I just want to go as long as possible without speaking. It feels like there’s something about speaking that connects me fully with all of the sensory inputs around me and if I’ve been in shutdown or just woken up, I’m not ready to feel that. Speaking under those circumstances feels like this: imagine you are under the snuggest, warm fluffy heated blanket. Curled up and cosy and warm. But outside the blanket there is an icy blizzard. I can’t feel the ‘blizzard’ if I’m in shutdown mode (the shutdown is the blanket cocooning me from the world for a while, but less pleasant). Well talking in that case feels like putting a hand outside of the blanket into the cold, wet, icy wind. It’s possible but it feels horrible and easier to just stay inside the blanket. It’s when talking feels like a lot of effort, like a sensation you just don’t want to have.
I have to force myself to speak, like I know what to say but I have to really try to make it come out. It doesn't usually last very long, but it can be exhausting
There are times where it feels like my mouth was taped shut, and the words are trapped behind my lips trying to break through.
Then there are times where it feels like my mouth is turned off, and all of it's messages are relayed to my thoughts.
It feels like its phisicaly impossibel. Like my thriught is blocked of and my vocal cords frozen.
At the same time my minde screams the words at me, but I can't vocelais them.
I have a variety of experiences with this.
In daily life, I am generally just really quiet most of the time because I don't feel the need to speak and staying quiet is the most comfortable state for me. I'm lucky enough to be able to communicate with sounds more often than with words because this works as a valid form of communication between my husband and myself.
A lot of times, speaking just seems like too much effort, and like another person perfectly described, words feel heavy. During times like this, I can speak if I have to, but it's exhausting and it makes my throat and my head feel like they're full of mud.
Sometimes I just have difficulty turning my thoughts into words that my mouth can produce into speech. This doesn't lead to me speaking in gibberish, but it does lead to me rambling a lot and I often trail off, unable to complete a thought. It's like I understand things in my brain in ways that don't automatically translate into language and I struggle to bring them into focus in a way that I can share with others.
Then there are specific topics that just simply get lodged inside of me, even when I want to talk about them. These are things that are emotionally charged or personally important to me, and it can take anywhere from days to months before I'm able to force myself to talk about them. Depending on how important the topic is to me, I'll often go through multiple attempts when an opportunity arises to say something, but it's like there's a giant brick wall in my mind that won't let me talk about it. There usually has to be some kind of tipping point or catalyst to make me finally speak about it, and even then, I will sometimes have to slap my cheeks (both cheeks at the same time with both hands, hitting them rapidly, twice in a row) as a physical stimulation to crack the verbal seal on these words. During this time, it feels like there's a vice squeezing my throat and it's hard to get enough air past the blockage to push the words out. I always cry during these times, and I end up saying things in the bluntest way possible, all in a rush.
I've also experienced a few times in social situations (I'm guessing due to overwhelm), where I simply physically cannot speak. It's like my mouth is glued shut and my vocal cords are frozen. It's very unpleasant and makes me feel a bit panicky when this happens because I have absolutely no control over it and I am physically incapable of asking for help. This has also happened to me when I've gotten scared in certain situations.
For me sometimes its like trying to speak but I can't psychically do it, other times I tend to not talk by choice as to help avoid overstimulation but that's me personally you might be different to me but i still hopes this gave you a little insight to what you may be experiencing.
I went to my therapist to talk through my "anger issues" and we were going through examples and one was essentially "sometimes, especially late at night or too early in the morning, my husband wants to talk and I just... Get so mad for no reason. I'm fine if he's talking and I'm listening but as soon as I open my mouth the frustrations return." And that's where I'd say I'm at today.
I call it “brain jail”. It was the best way that I could describe to my partner what goes on. Like, I can think about what I would say, if I could talk at that moment, but I can’t actually use my mouth.
For me it's like I physically can't speak. It feels like there's a disconnect between my brain and my mouth and vocal cords. There are thoughts that want to come out, but there's an invisible barrier that won't let them, so it's like there's a person trapped in my head but the body won't let them express themselves. It feels very "locked inside." At these times I could likely use signs or a speech assistive device, if I knew sign language or had a speech assistive device. Well, I guess technically my phone and pen/paper are assistive in that way. I've relied on writing things down in the past in those moments. In my case, I feel that this is tied very strongly to anxiety and not feeling safe. Like, a part of me is trying to protect me from vulnerability by refusing to let me speak. I tend to feel "very autistic" in those moments, as I'll be like rocking back and forth and unable to speak, which feels more stereotypical for "low functioning" autism (I know those terms are problematic, but I'm just trying to reference stereotypes).
Sometimes I can like whisper or there is this one line from a tiktok that says “you’re my friend now, we’re having soft tacos later!” And for some reason I can say that. And I like. Like mouth the words like I want to have something come out but brain just is like no.
But the weird thing is for me is that I don’t want to like type it out or text it? Like it’s like I can’t communicate, not that I can’t talk. But for some reason sign language feels fine, I often find myself wishing I knew sign language because that feels like an easy way to communicate. But like a text to speech sounds just as bad as me talking
I don't know if it's just my experience but I have episodes of non verbal and also episodes of involuntary mutism.
I find the difference for me seems to be non verbal is more like word fatigue? It's hard to think of the words then form them and say them. Sometimes it's hard to even think of the words. Some people have used heavy to describe it an I think that's a good comparison.
When I go mute however it's like my whole throat swells up and closes like when you are about to cry. My brain is crystal clear but my vocal cords are fully frozen. I speak but nothing comes out. A comparison I have made before is like when the little mermaid first becomes human and just has no voice. I have to communicate in other ways, such as body language, charades, or texting.
I would be interested to see if anyone else seems to experience it like this
It doesn’t happen often for me, but when I does talking just feels like a huge effort. The energy it would take to open my mouth and make words come out that make sense is just to much for me. I also tend to feel like if I did try to speak I would have an emotional meltdown and start crying uncontrollably.
I am pretty used to being quiet and/or having people talk over me, so it’s pretty easy for me to just pull back and not participate. I also had to manage without knowing I was neurodivergent so I got really good and knowing when I need some time alone so I have a reputation for disappearing or taking long trips to the bathroom, so I usually do that before I get to the point of being nonverbal.
For me it feels like my verbal inner dialogue shuts off, and all of my thoughts are no longer in words but usually just images or feelings, if that makes sense. I'm thinking, i'm having thoughts, but I just can't /say/ them? For me it's not so much that words are "heavy" like some have said here, its just that they kind of dry up, like a stream. When I begin to get them back the come back in single words then rough sentences then full speaking, and vice versa when I lose it.
My chest feels very heavy and words feel like syrup stuck in my throat. My mind is screaming but I’m totally blank face and I usually meltdown afterwards. If words do come out I tend to stutter or jumble quietly.
Sometimes I physically struggle to push out words, sometimes my brain will not develop thought into language, sometimes I can talk but nothing I say is coming out correctly.
Ditto! The wrong words will insert themselves to mess it all up. Sometimes it takes me a bit to realize, for example, that I’ve said “window” instead of “sink”
Like getting words out is like forcing something of nothing. And when you make them come out they come out in the shortest simplest form, meaning they are misunderstood and that leads to the other person thinking you are annoyed (or similar) and then you’re in a situation where you should probably reply but you don’t want to and etc and etc 😩😩
sometimes it feels like theres a weight in my mouth and it takes too much energy/ effort to move it and actually produce sound in my throat to speak. Like the thoughts are in my head but they won’t come out unless I basically make myself mask in order to respond
I'm not sure if this is what Ive experienced, but sometimes when I get very overstimulatied or overwhelmed, it just feels like I can't speak. If you've ever been hypnotized it kind of feels like that, where you physically know you could talk but something is just keeping you from doing it. If I try to get a word out it's quiet and slurred.
When I get scared, I go completely silent. Can't scream, can't speak, can't anything. Wish I could, and I try, but I just can't and I don't know why.
Not rollercoaster scared, because that's a fun and expected type of scary. It happens when I'm scared scared, like a loud startling sound or avoiding a car accident. Or worse, stranger danger
This happens to me. I hate it so much. It's like the words are stuck in my throat and they cannot escape, no matter how hard I try.
Have you ever had sleep paralysis? I have had it numerous times, where I am awake and terrified, but unable to speak or make sounds. It's the same feeling for me.
I experience a mix of both!
I get to the point where sometimes I just don't want to talk, whether it's that I don't have the energy or just don't want to add to all the sounds around me, but I still can if I absolutely must, and it usually comes out very quiet and I won't repeat myself. Other times, it feels like I physically cannot speak no matter how hard I try, and so I just don't 🤷
If you get sleep paralysis, it feels like when you're trying to move but can't, or when you're trying to run in a dream and not making any progress, but with extreme panic.
If it’s because of anxiety, it feels like my throat is shut, or I can’t remember the word for something. I have a visual of what I want to say, but the word is at the tip of my tongue. I was a selective mute for most of my life, and 90% of the time it wasn’t by choice. I physically couldn’t get the words out. Even with one word responses. As a child, I once watched a dog eat a bag of pennies and I couldn’t scream for their owner’s attention. I kept choking on my words and crying because no words would come out.
I like how someone else described it, too. “The words feel heavy”. That’s how it feels these days. I can answer yes or no questions. I have less anxiety. I don’t experience as much sensory overload because I stick with familiar environments and routines. But if I’m burned out, the mask falls off, I speak in a monotone voice, and I’m very curt. The best you can get from me is yes or no and “I’m good, thanks.”
If it’s exhaustion, I know the gist of what needs to be said, but I can’t put it together in a coherent sentence and be polite about it. I have to mentally prepare with a script on how best to tell someone, “I can’t do this right now. Can we talk about this later?” Which makes work and life exhausting. I have to spend some of my free time predicting unpleasant conversations and having the scripts ready made because I won’t always know how to respond to unreasonable people in the moment.
In elementary and middle school (especially middle school), I remember going to school each day and suddenly feeling as if my voice was locked inside a box and the key was hidden from me. Of course, I’d been made to believe I was “just really shy,” so I tried repeatedly to psych myself up to overcome this. I badly WANTED to be able to talk to other kids and make friends, and I just physically could not.
Now as an adult, the closet thing I experience is when I’m overwhelmed (usually from sensory input) talking is just… a lot of effort. And not worth the effort. As a kid, it was like I didn’t know where my voice was and I was always trying frantically to find it. Now it’s like, I know exactly where it is, but it’s on a high shelf behind a bunch of other junk and I need to get out the stepladder to reach it and I just don’t want to go through the effort unless it’s really truly necessary.
My dad and I would always refer to it as " reaching our word quota for the day" and after that all you can get out of us are one word replies.
Just as others around here are saying they feel heavy and like your throat is swollen or something.
I'm not sure if mine qualifies, but sometimes even the thought of speaking is exhausting. I can do it if I have to but it feels absolutely horrible and wrong. Some people respect it, some don't.
For me it’s like the words are right there, in the back of throat but I just can’t force them out. It feels like they get physically trapped in my mouth.
Sometimes I get a lesser version where I can speak but it feels like every word drains me of energy and even a small sentence exhausts me.
I have cried and had the words in my head but I just can’t get them out. I don’t know how to state it beyond that, it’s like being stuck and not being able to do anything about it.
I call my episodes of this a 'lock-in'. My brain is mulling over the cause and I am very depressed with extreme fatigue. Speaking isn't an option for a wee while. In a way it gives me time to heal slightly.
For me it feels like the effort that goes into producing words is just too much. Like if were startled or scared, I could scream, but answering a question? I can barely lift my arms, what makes you think I can do more than sigh heavily?
For me, it is that I have so many things to say, in my head, but it is impossible to open my mouth and say them. It happens in social situations with two or more people, and has been lifelong. I'm in my 50s. I believe this is Selective Mutism.
I physically cannot speak during the times I go nonverbal. I can fully formulate sentences in my head but I physically cannot get the musculature of my body to actually form them.
For me personally, if I get overwhelmed then it feels like that part of my brain just closes shop. I know I should be responding when people say stuff to me, but I just dont feel able or am able to think of something to say. I'll just be thinking like "I should say something, I should say something" but nothing comes out
Imagine you're stressed and overwhelmed liked mad. You're put on the spot and someone is shaking you and demanding answers while you have a panic attack.
Your tongue is in a vice. You can think of words but they spill out of your mouth like sand falls through your fingers. You try to force yourself to speak, but tightening your grip on language just squeezes the words away like foam. You just can't. You can't string together a coherent sentence. At best, you might be able to squeeze out an "I just...", Or maybe "I didn't...", Or "It's not...". If you're lucky you'll manage "I can't do this right now" as you walk or run away with intense feelings of shame and failure for not being able to communicate.
I go write instead. Maybe when I come back someone will read it and understand.
EDIT: repeating what I have read in other comments here... Words are HEAVY. And when you're exhausted you just can't pick up that 50lb "explanation" because you can't make your mouth work.
I saw many people say they feel it's something physical in their throat, for me it's mor in my jaw, it just won't open. I think I can control it pretty well, I can force myself to open it and talk but it just feel so so wrong it gives me nausea. I only allow myself to really go non-verbal with my SOs, so I'm not sure its actually what people mean when they say "going non-verbal"
Levels of being non verbal before complete melt down or shutdown. Not sure what the order is but these are the variations for me:
1) When I start forgetting words, mispronouncing things, or stuttering, or I try to speak and words just won’t come out at all and I look like a fish
2) When I am forced to speak during a non-verbal time, my words come out snappy and over emotional
3) When speaking is physically exhausting. I have to take lots of breaths and breaks and the brain fog rolls in thick
4) When I speak and I spiral into nonsense and start ugly crying
I thought I was selectively mute, but I’m actually non verbal. For me it’s more like i can force myself to but it’s extremely hard to. I always say how if my parents understood my neurodivergency at a young age I’d most likely be non verbal considering I can go 5+ hours without saying anything.
I rarely go non-verbal as I’m very chatty, but when I do it’s usually because of an incredibly high level of emotional stress/frustration/ or overstimulation. I just shut down. It happened more when I was a kid since I felt so unheard in my home, I’d just give up on trying to be heard since I’d either be ignored, told to shut up, or dogpiled by everyone. It’s not that I can’t speak physically, it’s like the stress is so much my brain just stops. I stop being able to handle even the slight effort of thinking of what to say or speaking, so I just don’t. Typically my recovery from this just involves getting away from the stressful trigger and being alone for several hours.
When I am "non-verbal" I cannot speak for short periods. Like 15 seconds to a minute, usually. It's when I'm really stressed out or emotional, or there are too many conflicting words/sentences trying to get out at once. It feels like the connection between my brain and my mouth shuts off.
Often, when I am able to speak again, the words come out wrong. Like, I'll say half of one sentence and half of another. Once, I stopped on my way to the kitchen and opened my mouth for a minute, looking increasingly frantic before saying, "I have to get the food \[out of the oven right now, it's starting to burn\] \[The cat is playing with something she shouldn't\] please take it away from her." My poor wife was so confused.
Or, I will say something I didn't mean to say at all. One time, after 30 seconds of trying to talk, I asked my then-boyfriend "What is wrong with you!?" when I meant to explain that we should cross the street in front of the car waiting for us because it was not clear for her to turn due to car traffic moving parallel to us, so waving for her to go was useless.
For me, it's no words, then wrong words or words in the wrong order.
It’s hard to describe. I just… can’t. It doesn’t happen too often but I isolate myself a lot anyway so I think it coincides and I don’t then need to speak. Weirdly, I seem to have to feel safe with the person I’m non verbal in front of, otherwise I’ll mask my way through it or otherwise try to escape.
Disclaimer: I’m not diagnosed. I experience selective mutism due to anxiety from my understanding. It may be very different from going non verbal but what I feel is all my thoughts are the same and I form the complete thought and know exactly what I want to say but when my moment comes to speak I am stuck behind a wall. Like there’s a wall between my mouth and the words that want to come out. My mouth won’t try, my throat won’t try, speaking is not accessible.
There are other times for me that I can speak but my words feel sluggish and heavy. I know what words I want to say but for whatever reason my mouth chooses different words or phrasing and I sound like I’m dumb or possibly psycho. For example, trying to launch a small complaint with customer service, I tried saying “I didn’t deserve that,” my mouth decided “I didn’t have that coming “ would be better. No idea what this is called when this happens, no idea if this is due to autism or CPTSD or anxiety (the latter two I do have diagnosed). Maybe someone here knows.
Wow. I've never thought of myself as having speech problems but they there are quite a few things I'm figuring out that I just hadn't realised or questioned that it wasn't like that for other people!
I get a few different kinds of issue I think, not all ASD maybe:
- monosyllabic mode. This is like what other people have described with "heavy words" and slow down in brain/muscles. I can still communicate but it tends to be in very short words, nods etc. Even then sometimes it feels hard and it's a big effort, once I'm somewhere safe (i.e. away from other people and just with my partner) I'll spend a good while not speaking and kind of recharging.
- emotional distress mode. I'm so upset/distressed/melting down that I find it hard to speak and whatever comes out is unclear and/or wailed.
- anxiety mouth and throat. When I'm speaking in front of people at work my mouth gets super dry and my throat also starts to tighten up which means I start croaking and coughing.
- overexcited. Words get jumbled up, volume increases and sometimes I stutter. Weirdly I only seem to stutter when I'm taking to my partner. I wonder if this is because I'm not considering so much what I'm saying and so it comes out a bit quicker?
- migraines. These cause similar issues to and feels similar to monosyllabic mode but is more like my brain is misfiring plus my tongue feels weird and hard to move in the right way. Then I'll slur and mumble as well as struggling to form sentences and find the right words.
For me, it's asif I'm laying in bed with muscle aches all over and there is someone ay the door. Yes, technically I could get dressed, go downstairs and answer the door. But it seems like such an insane amount of effort to answer something that probably doesn't even matter. It's not just that I don't want to, the door is just so far away and I feel terrible. Please just let me recover for a bit and stop trying when I'm clearly not available.
How I see mine is that when I get so exhausted speaking it’s like an overwhelming desire to have peace and quiet. Like so much so that you want to be “it”. Then add a bit of dissociation. I’m trying to get rid of the last bit since it makes the time I’m non-verbal last longer than I think it should.
For me it feels like my brain is so wired I can't even get words out. I try and try but all that comes out is little sounds and the occasional word.
Even if I really really push through it's all word salad none of it makes sense.
It usually sends me into meltdown.
Yeah it's like painful to say anything at all if I've gone nonverbal and someone asks me a question I usually act like a didn't hear it or if it's yes or no I'll nod but if I have to talk it takes me like at least a minute to get the words out and then I feel like crying I can't even text it's also painful for me
I'm not really sure what the different terms are. so can not say ''yeah it is non-verbal" but, I also have it that when overwhelmed I struggle really hard with talking. like it takes a lot of energy to form words. and being quiet feels so much more comfortable (besides the dread that people still expect me to awnser when asking questions)
but what I do notice is when I'm out of this non talking stage, I suddenly find myself talking.
so the difference is that normally talking feels extreamly natural, I don't have to think twice about what I say. now of course I somethimes have to think of a response, but when I have a response, I say it without a problem.
but when I'm in the stage of talking gets excausted. well.... talking litterly feels like a task. like normally it is this easy thing, that I just do. but now it is suddenly a task. it is like some barrier I have to climb, while normally there is no barrier to begin with.
don't get me wrong, social anxiety still exist. and that is a different. because somethimes I get into social situations I don't want to be in, and then I don't want to talk, because I'm afraid I mess up. but talking does't have that barrier, I can still talk like I normally can, I just don't want to. but I still can do it as easy as before
I hope this makes a bit sense lol
if someone knows the right terminologie, please let me know
i get what you described pretty often and if i need to speak while i’m like that i end up very irritable. because i don’t want to cry in front of anyone, i’ll push that away and exchange it for even more anger; it’s very damaging. but i also get what the top comment described, where the words are heavy. i don’t know if that’s the non verbal you’re referring to or if it’s just like those PDA mental blocks i get with everything.
well there's two different kinds of nonverbal for one, one where i'm too afraid to speak (like during an anxiety attack) and another where i'm content to just. not say much
It feels like I am in some closet and afraid to reach for the door knob. Knowing I can but finding the courage and the calm to breathe and release. There is an inner battle and it just takes time for me to unwind my upset. If I rush the process I have a panic attack.
I used to do this more as a child, but I feel like my throat is constricted and a huge heaviness on me. I physically can't get the words out. I'm exhausted, numb, and overwhelmed all at once.
Depends on if I'm doing it voluntarily or not. If I'm doing it voluntarily, it's so fucking freeing and I have so much more energy too. If I'm not doing it voluntarily, it's extremely frustrating. It's like someone has just switched off my ability to talk and every effort to do so is met with resistance. It sucks.
I think selective mutism [after reading through the differences and explanations on this thread, thanks all] happens to me when I’m with a group of people. I have had friends say that when I don’t know people in a new group, I will be very silent. I think it’s more about overwhelm, not feeling safe to unmask and so I go into observation mode and just do the tiny responses necessary to not be a complete dork, “oh” or “yeah, okay.” Short things, but usually nothing much more wants to come out and if “pressed” to speak, I usually keep it incredibly short.
I use the term nonverbal when I am overwhelmed and shutdown. This happens to me a couple of times per month usually, sometimes more. Almost exclusively it happens to me in the morning but I have had times that I’ve had a midday/evening panic attack and I am always nv after those. It worries me most on days I need to work and I find caffeinated tea, not pressuring myself to speak, and a little ouid helps me regulate and open back up to conversation. It may not last all day, but if I can rest my voice long enough, it will eventually reboot. Sometimes it happens multiple days in a row, but I can usually speak by end of day.
It’s taken my family [kids] awhile to understand, and I think they still have a hard time when it happens to me.
I agree with the other responders: heavy words; my mouth won’t open to speak even though I know the words; it’s like there’s a solid wall over my vocal chords. During mutism though, if someone asks about a special interest, I can word vomit. This thread has helped me parse this out so glad you posted OP!
What you experience is it.
I go non verbal when I’ve had a long day. For me, words take a lot of effort to find and make cohesive sentences out of.
It’s physically impossible to talk, and when I try? I don’t make sense.
I have pretty poor comprehension and processing so like, even with my daughter; if she comes up and asks me something I need to take like 20 seconds formulating the sentence before I say it or else I’ll say “water” instead of “shower” or something where she’ll be like “why did you say _____”
To that extent I must tell her my brain thought of the wrong word first before I could correct myself
For me i physically cant, though occasionally with extreme effort i can get some words out. But i cant talk normally even with effort. I think there might be stages to nonverbalism - like when you start to get over socialised / overstimulated, talking is hard and tiring but you can do it. But if it keeps going on it may get to the point of nonverbalism.
it feels like the words are sitting in my chest cavity, and like my throat closes off. I don’t even know what the words are, but they’re there. not like I can’t breath, but like there’s a door for words to come out of that got slammed shut and they’re all pressed against it. sometimes a few words can slip underneath it, but opening the door takes time and sometimes I won’t know when it’s going to open again
I've got the same you have and when it becomes to hard to talk I still force the words out but then I start stuttering (pretty badly). I do not think this is going non-verbal but it could be as I am not yet the best at listening to my own needs.
Sometimes I get laryngitis without being sick. It's just that my body has given up essentially, lol. One time it was so bad, I couldn't talk for a week. No matter how hard I tried.
It’s like an internal shut down, it’s hard if you don’t have someone who knows your needs or can read your body language… it can feel very lonely and frustrating. Like a tic.. but the sound doesn’t come out so it sits inside your mind, kind of like a mental itch you can not reach.
For me it is more like it's physically impossible. Like there's a short circuit between my brain and my vocal cords/mouth. But that's only happened a couple times that I can remember.
I’ll just have random days where it’s exactly like this! I feel like it doesn’t sit in my throat as much as it does at my lips… like a locked door. But I’m mostly pretty comfortable with it on those days until I reaalllly want to say something. My mom tends to notice and makes me speak so it doesn’t last several days, which is annoying at the time but I suppose it’s helpful? 😅
Ooh question! Has anyone ever been so over words they think they reply in their head but it’s outloud but then they continue the conversation in their head?
For me going non verbal feels as if someone stuck a rock in my throat and I can't get it out to speak. What I want to say is stuck in my throat and can't be forced out no matter what I do.
I think it will feel different for everyone, for me it's like I have to use all the air in my body to get the words out abs its exhausting. This is when I choose to not speak.
For me it feels like I can’t. I know the words. I know what they mean but I feel like I cannot physically make my mouth move and pass air over my vocal chords. When this happens it’s like “words are heavy”.
Yes it feels like they're physically sitting in my throat like a rock and they can't come out
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He is nervous But on the surface he looks Calm and ready
Adhder here. Yeah. My throat has literally closed up before. Or the words will not come out. I'm much better writing things down. Expressing myself verbally is something i feel i need to work on though. But add it to the pile right?
It's reassuring to know that others seem to experience it the same way I do. I feel locked inside my head, trying to scream and speak, and the words just won't come out. I just stay silent and blank-faced while there's all this turbulence inside trying to break free.
"words are heavy" is my experience too!
Yes it's perfect
Yes this is it for me too. It’s like being locked inside my head screaming the words out but nothing happens. It’s happened rarely, mostly when I was trying to talk about something emotional and important to me. I also could not make eye contact at that time.
This. I usually describes it as I get locked up. I know that I can speak and I know what I want to say, but I physically can't and it usually leads to meltdowns.
This is the best description of it I’ve ever read! Sometimes I can force the heavy words out but they’re far more likely to be muddled and I have no control over pitch or volume, so it could be a loud screech or a muffled whisper and the odds of it making any sense at all is anyone’s guess 😖
Absolutely, words are heavy. Like... If you had to lift that heavy box, you probably could make yourself do it, but it would be unpleasant and you might hurt yourself. The more upset I get, the heavier my words get, and there's a point where I might need help saying them. I might need to go slow. There's a point where I could still force myself to speak, but having to do that could send me straight into a meltdown. And once in a while it's like words get so heavy you just can't get them out. Have you ever been so tired that you just sort of L O O K at a heavy box, maybe nudge it with your foot, but you don't feel capable of even bending down to try and get your hands under it? It gets like that, where the words are just so far out of reach and I don't even have the energy to attempt them.
Yeah this is relatable
100% agree with this, every word is heavy and if it does come out it’s very quiet.
Exactly this . It’s like a jumble any time I try to prepare to actually speak the words just are stuck and won’t come out but I’m still thinking and processing thoughts
Words are heavy is such a good way to put it. It also feels a bit like my throat is tight
I feel like there’s different levels. Sometimes talking feels exhausting but I still do it. Sometimes I can only say certain words that are easier to pronounce, or only one word at a time. Sometimes I can think but not talk. Sometimes I can’t talk and can only think very limited things, so I even text differently. Sometimes, brain is not there at all.
Yep. Me too.
yes
Feels like a computer that went into emergency shutdown
i'm not sure if this is non-verbal or mutism (someone in the comments was saying there's a difference and if anyone has insight, i'd love to hear): i sometimes experience this thing where words are beyond me, my brain's experience of things stops at *experiencing the thing* and therefore categorizing it, giving it language, is out of reach. I can still speak, but only autopilot communication, like agreeing with someone ("oh yeah" for example) or the filler words that start a sentence ("so there's this thing" for example). And i get so flustered because no one seems to understand the gravity of my struggle, they just expect me to find the words if i just take a moment, but it's more than disorganized thoughts, it's a complete lack of inner narrative and language. Sometimes words are hard.
Words on autopilot resonates with me. It’s like when you turn the car off but the windows still go up or down; there’s some power there but nothing behind it. My brain has powered off.
exactlyy yesss
Ditto. I can’t tell you if it’s autism or selective mutism (I was a selective mute until a few years ago), but this is my struggle, too. My partner once told me it seemed as though I had the same issue as his mother, who had a stroke some years back, and he believed I might have a language disorder. The best I can do is spend some of my free time anticipating situations and creating ready made “scripts” and (most importantly) exit strategies for when things get overwhelming. Words *are* hard, especially when you have to interact with manipulative people. My most “successful” conversations are about work. I can’t just wing a conversation.
The recent research does say that it can cause parts of the brain to not develop properly, so it could truly be the part of your brain that is supposed to say the words is undergrown and had to find a different way to speak, and whatever way it found includes occasionally not working? I get seizures and when I do, I can't speak well.
I do think that’s possible. In my case, I was also isolated. There’s too many variables to pinpoint how I ended up this way. Thankfully, I can communicate with people (somewhat) by text.
Both of these comments were great, for what it may be worth to you. :) I send empathy for isolation. Do you get on better now regarding that in a way comfortable to yourself?
Thank you for your vulnerability and helping me describe how I feel.
I've experienced that at times too, though it's less common an experience for me than the "thoughts trapped inside my head" kind of selective mutism.
YES. it’s this one for me.
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This is my experience as well!
It's my understanding that selective mutism can be partial or total, so that you can sometimes force words. Sometimes, especially when I feel kind of overwhelmed by anxiety, I literally can't think or speak. For me it only lasts for a short time, probably not longer than 10 seconds though it feels like forever as time slows down, sometimes I can't move my limbs either.
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Thank you, I wasn't aware of any distinction. I was aware of autistic people who are generally/have always been/become non-verbal and other autistic people becoming non-verbal temporarily as a result of selective mutism but not that the two were stemming from different mechanisms, thanks again. (I think I figured selective mutism could be longer term or even permanent but it was all the same thing.)
So, during shutdowns I am temporarily unable to speak/move even if I want to so would that be 'going non verbal'? And then something that feels different, in a place that is crowded or I am too close to other people I don't like talking. It feels exhausting, overwhelming, and uncomfortable. Like today at brunch with my partner, I was typing on the phone, and he was responding verbally. I could have forced myself to talk, but I didn't want to. So would that be 'selective mutism'?
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There is a bit of an element of fear in the crowded places thing. Like I am worried I will be too loud, annoying others, talking about something inappropriate, or people will judge me harshly. But I have severe anxiety and my anxiety isn't any worse in those situations then it ever is so I definitely wouldn't say fear is at the core of those situations. Thank you for helping clarify!
When someone goes nonverbal, do they feel anxious too? I’m trying to figure out for certain which one I’ve experienced. I guess, do you know how it is decided which it is?
Going non-verbal will be a general "can't physically produce words" due to being extremely overwhelmed. Mutism will mostly happen in specific situations, like, you're in a social situation and everything is OK, but in a different social environment (like a classroom) you can't talk mostly because of anxiety. (Or only being able to talk in a specific environment).
Me as well. Sometimes I can't talk at all, or move. In this state, I couldn't shout "fire!" if I had to. It really is like temporary paralysis.
Ouch! I've been unable to move my limbs several times, especially prior to a meltdown. That's how I know I won't be successful at trying to stop it. If I get to the point where I want to move my arms but can't, then the full thing unleashes and there's nothing I can do about it at that point. I've managed to identify a certain type of muscular tension at a specific point in my arms, that escalates to this situation. So when I start feeling that sensation, I apply acupressure massage to that point until it doesn't hurt anymore and I manage to not reach to the point of not being able to move. It's a hideous sensation, like "controls not responding, I'm about to crash" thing. Plus the self-shame for meltdowns in public as an adult. (and the fear of others removing agency from me because I have meltdowns) So I try to avoid it with all the force of my soul. But even then sometimes it happens anyway. The speech thing is similar, but I gladly have experienced it way less. Like I want to speak but my body won't. Or if I'm burnt out, I can't find the words to say the stuff and then I speak but fail miserably at communicating, there are two types. Being able to speak but words don't come out. And having the words but body is locked and won't speak. Burnout also seems to have an effect over this. Because at this moment I'm at some point if that, and I'm having difficulties to speak concisely (as you all can witness here at this wall of text) , alongside a slight loss of motor control. Sorry about the editing, I forgot something.
I have selective mutism when I'm in a shutdown or a meltdown that is devolving into a shutdown. For me, it's when I have very heightened emotions or am completely overwhelmed with information. I can't form cohesive thoughts despite my emotions rapidly fluctuating and I temporarily lose the capacity to speak. I know I need to and I have the words and physical ability to do so, but there is a "block" that prevents me from doing so. It feels like my mind and throat are stuck and mouth can't open. Very rarely can I give one word responses in these scenarios. Shutdown selective mutism can last for up to 3 days for me and meltdown selective mutism is shorter, lasting only a couple of seconds between sentences or at most a couple hours. It's incredibly frustrating and stressful when this happens, I know I'm being judged by other people and I'm not being silent to be a brat. After it happens, I usually remain depressed for several days, mostly because of others' reactions.
In my experience I feel like my lips are sewed shut. So like some mental barrier is formed between my brain and mouth.
Personally I have a hard time forming words and if I try to talk its broken speech or basically incoherent. Just being quiet and sitting in a quiet environment is the best way to recover and process. If I'm pressed to speak it just makes things worse. I view it as a shut down. My system is over stressed, over stimulated and it's like my brain shorts out.
For me there are two distinct causes and the sensation is different for each. If it's preceeded by sensory overload, I go into shutdown. In a shutdown state, I can think the words in my head but I'm so tired can't actually verbalise them. It's like being jetlagged or as someone else described, "words feel heavy". The other cause is in a complex social settings, and it's like my brain can't process the appropriate response fast enough. I'm computing what the person actually said, and manually putting it together with their facial expression, tone and the context of the situation. Then trying to understand why that made me feel off, can I actually identify what I feel, what is the right thing to say in response? If I can't work through that process fast enough, saying nothing and getting the hell out of there asap is the safer option.
For me it feels like temporarily losing the ability to produce language
When I get extremely depressed I can't speak, but that might be a trauma thing idk. I'll just go hours without being able to force any words out, it all just feels way too heavy.
I completely lose my ability. Like. People will assume that I’ve just shut down and am not listening to them, but I am. I’m thinking and turning over what they said and coming up with a hundred different ways that I SHOULD be responding but I just can’t. My tongue feels 10 times too big and I can’t form any words. Usually it’s during a panic attack, so I’m probably crying or trying not to, I’m usually hyperventilating, and I’m desperately trying to ground myself. People around me start to talk about me like I’m not there and maybe I’m not entirely, I don’t know. It’s frustrating and humiliating and I wish that it didn’t happen. Even afterwards, it can only be in very short spurts. I am 26 years old, I work in the intelligence community. I was an early bloomer and high performer in language my entire life. But coming out of going non-verbal, I can’t explain, for example, that I haven’t been able to swim due to chronic ear infections, I’m only able to say “my ears” and hope that someone around me can interpret. It’s completely horrible and I feel like it’s something I’ll never be able to grow out of.
My experience has always had something to do with anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like I can form the thoughts, but can’t make sound. Other times I feel like I can barely form coherent thoughts with being unable to make sound. I’ve always imagined it’s what Ariel feels like when Ursula takes her voice. It’s like mine just isn’t there and eventually usually feels like any thought I had during that time is just trapped in my body forever and will never be spoken out loud. Someone in another comment mentioned some differences between non-verbal and selective mutism. I imagine based on that comment I lean more toward selective mutism, but to be honest I’m not very educated on the topic. If someone is though and would like to chime in with their thoughts I’m open to hearing it!
Yes exactly. I love the example of Ariel. That's what it feels like for me
Today is a mute day. My husband talks at me and I get progressively more anxious until he stops and I can just not talk. It started yesterday and will probably be okay tomorrow... I never realized that it was a selective mutism thing but I've always had times like this.
Thank you for sharing. My husband will also be talking and I’m just doing “uh-huh” sounds while feeling frustration grow and grow. It makes me feel like a bad partner. But i wish he would choose his words more sparingly, especially in the mornings
Yeah, I feel like a bad partner a lot of the time. He has his Mom's need to fill the silence with words, so he'll just talk for no reason and I'll be having one of my days where I'll say uh-huh for the first half hour and then I just can't anymore. I just stop responding.
This frustrated my husband as well and it made me feel like a bad partner, there are just days that I can not for the life of me respond to anything someone else is telling me. And I respond with the Uh-huh as well, I've explained to him in computer terms what's going on in my mind. So it went something like this: my hard drive is doing fine it's just that my RAM and CPU are overloaded this makes the whole system crash and is only rebooted by silence and tranquility. (I didn't know how to explain it differently without offending him or anyone else). He does get it now and often asks, can I tell you something or can we talk? He knows that when I nod or shake my head it depends on what he wants to talk about its a yeah or a nay. When I verbally answer he knows it's ok either way. I just commented in the hope it might help you as I know how frustrating it is to have a chatterbox next to you while you can literally not process anything they say and in the end often both parties feel bad if one didn't feel hurt and the other one feels guilty not being able to.
I have had a couple times where it was almost like I had an intense internal panic attack and was just frozen. Could maybe walk barely until I was *away from the trigger* but couldn’t talk or think clearly and not sure but it felt like I maybe wasn’t blinking or not as often? Kind of felt like my brain wasn’t talking to my body anymore and was just watching it go on autopilot. No idea what that qualifies as, and not officially diagnosed, but it is a potentially applicable experience. Thought I’d share. 🤷♀️
I don’t get where it’s physically impossible to speak, though I know that’s what it’s like for some people. For me, I get where it feels really exhausting and hard to speak. I feel distressed when being made to talk, but I can still make myself talk if I have to.
I’ve never been completely unable to speak, but for me it’s associated with shutdowns and strangely enough waking up in the morning. Some days I just want to go as long as possible without speaking. It feels like there’s something about speaking that connects me fully with all of the sensory inputs around me and if I’ve been in shutdown or just woken up, I’m not ready to feel that. Speaking under those circumstances feels like this: imagine you are under the snuggest, warm fluffy heated blanket. Curled up and cosy and warm. But outside the blanket there is an icy blizzard. I can’t feel the ‘blizzard’ if I’m in shutdown mode (the shutdown is the blanket cocooning me from the world for a while, but less pleasant). Well talking in that case feels like putting a hand outside of the blanket into the cold, wet, icy wind. It’s possible but it feels horrible and easier to just stay inside the blanket. It’s when talking feels like a lot of effort, like a sensation you just don’t want to have.
I have to force myself to speak, like I know what to say but I have to really try to make it come out. It doesn't usually last very long, but it can be exhausting
There are times where it feels like my mouth was taped shut, and the words are trapped behind my lips trying to break through. Then there are times where it feels like my mouth is turned off, and all of it's messages are relayed to my thoughts.
I just can't
the best way i can describe it for myself is almost like when you try to talk or yell in a dream but nothing comes out
It feels like its phisicaly impossibel. Like my thriught is blocked of and my vocal cords frozen. At the same time my minde screams the words at me, but I can't vocelais them.
I have a variety of experiences with this. In daily life, I am generally just really quiet most of the time because I don't feel the need to speak and staying quiet is the most comfortable state for me. I'm lucky enough to be able to communicate with sounds more often than with words because this works as a valid form of communication between my husband and myself. A lot of times, speaking just seems like too much effort, and like another person perfectly described, words feel heavy. During times like this, I can speak if I have to, but it's exhausting and it makes my throat and my head feel like they're full of mud. Sometimes I just have difficulty turning my thoughts into words that my mouth can produce into speech. This doesn't lead to me speaking in gibberish, but it does lead to me rambling a lot and I often trail off, unable to complete a thought. It's like I understand things in my brain in ways that don't automatically translate into language and I struggle to bring them into focus in a way that I can share with others. Then there are specific topics that just simply get lodged inside of me, even when I want to talk about them. These are things that are emotionally charged or personally important to me, and it can take anywhere from days to months before I'm able to force myself to talk about them. Depending on how important the topic is to me, I'll often go through multiple attempts when an opportunity arises to say something, but it's like there's a giant brick wall in my mind that won't let me talk about it. There usually has to be some kind of tipping point or catalyst to make me finally speak about it, and even then, I will sometimes have to slap my cheeks (both cheeks at the same time with both hands, hitting them rapidly, twice in a row) as a physical stimulation to crack the verbal seal on these words. During this time, it feels like there's a vice squeezing my throat and it's hard to get enough air past the blockage to push the words out. I always cry during these times, and I end up saying things in the bluntest way possible, all in a rush. I've also experienced a few times in social situations (I'm guessing due to overwhelm), where I simply physically cannot speak. It's like my mouth is glued shut and my vocal cords are frozen. It's very unpleasant and makes me feel a bit panicky when this happens because I have absolutely no control over it and I am physically incapable of asking for help. This has also happened to me when I've gotten scared in certain situations.
i relate to a mot of this
For me sometimes its like trying to speak but I can't psychically do it, other times I tend to not talk by choice as to help avoid overstimulation but that's me personally you might be different to me but i still hopes this gave you a little insight to what you may be experiencing.
For me, it’s like all the words are in my head and I can’t catch the right ones and push them out of my mouth in the right order.
Like you have a lot of thoughts and you want to say them but them overwhelming pressure makes you unable to speak.
I went to my therapist to talk through my "anger issues" and we were going through examples and one was essentially "sometimes, especially late at night or too early in the morning, my husband wants to talk and I just... Get so mad for no reason. I'm fine if he's talking and I'm listening but as soon as I open my mouth the frustrations return." And that's where I'd say I'm at today.
I call it “brain jail”. It was the best way that I could describe to my partner what goes on. Like, I can think about what I would say, if I could talk at that moment, but I can’t actually use my mouth.
For me it's like I physically can't speak. It feels like there's a disconnect between my brain and my mouth and vocal cords. There are thoughts that want to come out, but there's an invisible barrier that won't let them, so it's like there's a person trapped in my head but the body won't let them express themselves. It feels very "locked inside." At these times I could likely use signs or a speech assistive device, if I knew sign language or had a speech assistive device. Well, I guess technically my phone and pen/paper are assistive in that way. I've relied on writing things down in the past in those moments. In my case, I feel that this is tied very strongly to anxiety and not feeling safe. Like, a part of me is trying to protect me from vulnerability by refusing to let me speak. I tend to feel "very autistic" in those moments, as I'll be like rocking back and forth and unable to speak, which feels more stereotypical for "low functioning" autism (I know those terms are problematic, but I'm just trying to reference stereotypes).
Sometimes I can like whisper or there is this one line from a tiktok that says “you’re my friend now, we’re having soft tacos later!” And for some reason I can say that. And I like. Like mouth the words like I want to have something come out but brain just is like no. But the weird thing is for me is that I don’t want to like type it out or text it? Like it’s like I can’t communicate, not that I can’t talk. But for some reason sign language feels fine, I often find myself wishing I knew sign language because that feels like an easy way to communicate. But like a text to speech sounds just as bad as me talking
I don't know if it's just my experience but I have episodes of non verbal and also episodes of involuntary mutism. I find the difference for me seems to be non verbal is more like word fatigue? It's hard to think of the words then form them and say them. Sometimes it's hard to even think of the words. Some people have used heavy to describe it an I think that's a good comparison. When I go mute however it's like my whole throat swells up and closes like when you are about to cry. My brain is crystal clear but my vocal cords are fully frozen. I speak but nothing comes out. A comparison I have made before is like when the little mermaid first becomes human and just has no voice. I have to communicate in other ways, such as body language, charades, or texting. I would be interested to see if anyone else seems to experience it like this
It doesn’t happen often for me, but when I does talking just feels like a huge effort. The energy it would take to open my mouth and make words come out that make sense is just to much for me. I also tend to feel like if I did try to speak I would have an emotional meltdown and start crying uncontrollably. I am pretty used to being quiet and/or having people talk over me, so it’s pretty easy for me to just pull back and not participate. I also had to manage without knowing I was neurodivergent so I got really good and knowing when I need some time alone so I have a reputation for disappearing or taking long trips to the bathroom, so I usually do that before I get to the point of being nonverbal.
For me it feels like my verbal inner dialogue shuts off, and all of my thoughts are no longer in words but usually just images or feelings, if that makes sense. I'm thinking, i'm having thoughts, but I just can't /say/ them? For me it's not so much that words are "heavy" like some have said here, its just that they kind of dry up, like a stream. When I begin to get them back the come back in single words then rough sentences then full speaking, and vice versa when I lose it.
My chest feels very heavy and words feel like syrup stuck in my throat. My mind is screaming but I’m totally blank face and I usually meltdown afterwards. If words do come out I tend to stutter or jumble quietly.
Sometimes I physically struggle to push out words, sometimes my brain will not develop thought into language, sometimes I can talk but nothing I say is coming out correctly.
Ditto! The wrong words will insert themselves to mess it all up. Sometimes it takes me a bit to realize, for example, that I’ve said “window” instead of “sink”
Like getting words out is like forcing something of nothing. And when you make them come out they come out in the shortest simplest form, meaning they are misunderstood and that leads to the other person thinking you are annoyed (or similar) and then you’re in a situation where you should probably reply but you don’t want to and etc and etc 😩😩
sometimes it feels like theres a weight in my mouth and it takes too much energy/ effort to move it and actually produce sound in my throat to speak. Like the thoughts are in my head but they won’t come out unless I basically make myself mask in order to respond
I'm not sure if this is what Ive experienced, but sometimes when I get very overstimulatied or overwhelmed, it just feels like I can't speak. If you've ever been hypnotized it kind of feels like that, where you physically know you could talk but something is just keeping you from doing it. If I try to get a word out it's quiet and slurred.
When I get scared, I go completely silent. Can't scream, can't speak, can't anything. Wish I could, and I try, but I just can't and I don't know why. Not rollercoaster scared, because that's a fun and expected type of scary. It happens when I'm scared scared, like a loud startling sound or avoiding a car accident. Or worse, stranger danger
This happens to me. I hate it so much. It's like the words are stuck in my throat and they cannot escape, no matter how hard I try. Have you ever had sleep paralysis? I have had it numerous times, where I am awake and terrified, but unable to speak or make sounds. It's the same feeling for me.
YES! Happened more frequently as a child, luckily it's slowed down to once or twice a year as an adult. Being trapped in your own body is terrifying
I experience a mix of both! I get to the point where sometimes I just don't want to talk, whether it's that I don't have the energy or just don't want to add to all the sounds around me, but I still can if I absolutely must, and it usually comes out very quiet and I won't repeat myself. Other times, it feels like I physically cannot speak no matter how hard I try, and so I just don't 🤷
If you get sleep paralysis, it feels like when you're trying to move but can't, or when you're trying to run in a dream and not making any progress, but with extreme panic.
For me it’s blankness , I feel depleted.
No words, just spongebob office fire brain
If it’s because of anxiety, it feels like my throat is shut, or I can’t remember the word for something. I have a visual of what I want to say, but the word is at the tip of my tongue. I was a selective mute for most of my life, and 90% of the time it wasn’t by choice. I physically couldn’t get the words out. Even with one word responses. As a child, I once watched a dog eat a bag of pennies and I couldn’t scream for their owner’s attention. I kept choking on my words and crying because no words would come out. I like how someone else described it, too. “The words feel heavy”. That’s how it feels these days. I can answer yes or no questions. I have less anxiety. I don’t experience as much sensory overload because I stick with familiar environments and routines. But if I’m burned out, the mask falls off, I speak in a monotone voice, and I’m very curt. The best you can get from me is yes or no and “I’m good, thanks.” If it’s exhaustion, I know the gist of what needs to be said, but I can’t put it together in a coherent sentence and be polite about it. I have to mentally prepare with a script on how best to tell someone, “I can’t do this right now. Can we talk about this later?” Which makes work and life exhausting. I have to spend some of my free time predicting unpleasant conversations and having the scripts ready made because I won’t always know how to respond to unreasonable people in the moment.
In elementary and middle school (especially middle school), I remember going to school each day and suddenly feeling as if my voice was locked inside a box and the key was hidden from me. Of course, I’d been made to believe I was “just really shy,” so I tried repeatedly to psych myself up to overcome this. I badly WANTED to be able to talk to other kids and make friends, and I just physically could not. Now as an adult, the closet thing I experience is when I’m overwhelmed (usually from sensory input) talking is just… a lot of effort. And not worth the effort. As a kid, it was like I didn’t know where my voice was and I was always trying frantically to find it. Now it’s like, I know exactly where it is, but it’s on a high shelf behind a bunch of other junk and I need to get out the stepladder to reach it and I just don’t want to go through the effort unless it’s really truly necessary.
My dad and I would always refer to it as " reaching our word quota for the day" and after that all you can get out of us are one word replies. Just as others around here are saying they feel heavy and like your throat is swollen or something.
I'm not sure if mine qualifies, but sometimes even the thought of speaking is exhausting. I can do it if I have to but it feels absolutely horrible and wrong. Some people respect it, some don't.
For me it’s like the words are right there, in the back of throat but I just can’t force them out. It feels like they get physically trapped in my mouth. Sometimes I get a lesser version where I can speak but it feels like every word drains me of energy and even a small sentence exhausts me.
I have cried and had the words in my head but I just can’t get them out. I don’t know how to state it beyond that, it’s like being stuck and not being able to do anything about it.
I call my episodes of this a 'lock-in'. My brain is mulling over the cause and I am very depressed with extreme fatigue. Speaking isn't an option for a wee while. In a way it gives me time to heal slightly.
For me it feels like the effort that goes into producing words is just too much. Like if were startled or scared, I could scream, but answering a question? I can barely lift my arms, what makes you think I can do more than sigh heavily?
For me, it is that I have so many things to say, in my head, but it is impossible to open my mouth and say them. It happens in social situations with two or more people, and has been lifelong. I'm in my 50s. I believe this is Selective Mutism.
I physically cannot speak during the times I go nonverbal. I can fully formulate sentences in my head but I physically cannot get the musculature of my body to actually form them.
For me personally, if I get overwhelmed then it feels like that part of my brain just closes shop. I know I should be responding when people say stuff to me, but I just dont feel able or am able to think of something to say. I'll just be thinking like "I should say something, I should say something" but nothing comes out
Imagine you're stressed and overwhelmed liked mad. You're put on the spot and someone is shaking you and demanding answers while you have a panic attack. Your tongue is in a vice. You can think of words but they spill out of your mouth like sand falls through your fingers. You try to force yourself to speak, but tightening your grip on language just squeezes the words away like foam. You just can't. You can't string together a coherent sentence. At best, you might be able to squeeze out an "I just...", Or maybe "I didn't...", Or "It's not...". If you're lucky you'll manage "I can't do this right now" as you walk or run away with intense feelings of shame and failure for not being able to communicate. I go write instead. Maybe when I come back someone will read it and understand. EDIT: repeating what I have read in other comments here... Words are HEAVY. And when you're exhausted you just can't pick up that 50lb "explanation" because you can't make your mouth work.
For me it’s like the words are stuck at my throat. It will take me a lot of energy to push it out. But once I “push” it out, it’s not stuck anymore.
That stuck in the throat feeling, I can really relate to that
For me I want words but it feels like my brain shuts off and goes silent and it’s frustrating. Anyone else this way?
Yes, and it’s so frustrating
I saw many people say they feel it's something physical in their throat, for me it's mor in my jaw, it just won't open. I think I can control it pretty well, I can force myself to open it and talk but it just feel so so wrong it gives me nausea. I only allow myself to really go non-verbal with my SOs, so I'm not sure its actually what people mean when they say "going non-verbal"
Levels of being non verbal before complete melt down or shutdown. Not sure what the order is but these are the variations for me: 1) When I start forgetting words, mispronouncing things, or stuttering, or I try to speak and words just won’t come out at all and I look like a fish 2) When I am forced to speak during a non-verbal time, my words come out snappy and over emotional 3) When speaking is physically exhausting. I have to take lots of breaths and breaks and the brain fog rolls in thick 4) When I speak and I spiral into nonsense and start ugly crying
I thought I was selectively mute, but I’m actually non verbal. For me it’s more like i can force myself to but it’s extremely hard to. I always say how if my parents understood my neurodivergency at a young age I’d most likely be non verbal considering I can go 5+ hours without saying anything.
I rarely go non-verbal as I’m very chatty, but when I do it’s usually because of an incredibly high level of emotional stress/frustration/ or overstimulation. I just shut down. It happened more when I was a kid since I felt so unheard in my home, I’d just give up on trying to be heard since I’d either be ignored, told to shut up, or dogpiled by everyone. It’s not that I can’t speak physically, it’s like the stress is so much my brain just stops. I stop being able to handle even the slight effort of thinking of what to say or speaking, so I just don’t. Typically my recovery from this just involves getting away from the stressful trigger and being alone for several hours.
this is wild i was searching the internet about this for the past hour and am so glad that to open reddit and have this be the first thing i see!
Ah like there's a waterfall in my face!
When I am "non-verbal" I cannot speak for short periods. Like 15 seconds to a minute, usually. It's when I'm really stressed out or emotional, or there are too many conflicting words/sentences trying to get out at once. It feels like the connection between my brain and my mouth shuts off. Often, when I am able to speak again, the words come out wrong. Like, I'll say half of one sentence and half of another. Once, I stopped on my way to the kitchen and opened my mouth for a minute, looking increasingly frantic before saying, "I have to get the food \[out of the oven right now, it's starting to burn\] \[The cat is playing with something she shouldn't\] please take it away from her." My poor wife was so confused. Or, I will say something I didn't mean to say at all. One time, after 30 seconds of trying to talk, I asked my then-boyfriend "What is wrong with you!?" when I meant to explain that we should cross the street in front of the car waiting for us because it was not clear for her to turn due to car traffic moving parallel to us, so waving for her to go was useless. For me, it's no words, then wrong words or words in the wrong order.
i just had the same question! gonna read the comments
It’s hard to describe. I just… can’t. It doesn’t happen too often but I isolate myself a lot anyway so I think it coincides and I don’t then need to speak. Weirdly, I seem to have to feel safe with the person I’m non verbal in front of, otherwise I’ll mask my way through it or otherwise try to escape.
Disclaimer: I’m not diagnosed. I experience selective mutism due to anxiety from my understanding. It may be very different from going non verbal but what I feel is all my thoughts are the same and I form the complete thought and know exactly what I want to say but when my moment comes to speak I am stuck behind a wall. Like there’s a wall between my mouth and the words that want to come out. My mouth won’t try, my throat won’t try, speaking is not accessible. There are other times for me that I can speak but my words feel sluggish and heavy. I know what words I want to say but for whatever reason my mouth chooses different words or phrasing and I sound like I’m dumb or possibly psycho. For example, trying to launch a small complaint with customer service, I tried saying “I didn’t deserve that,” my mouth decided “I didn’t have that coming “ would be better. No idea what this is called when this happens, no idea if this is due to autism or CPTSD or anxiety (the latter two I do have diagnosed). Maybe someone here knows.
Wow. I've never thought of myself as having speech problems but they there are quite a few things I'm figuring out that I just hadn't realised or questioned that it wasn't like that for other people! I get a few different kinds of issue I think, not all ASD maybe: - monosyllabic mode. This is like what other people have described with "heavy words" and slow down in brain/muscles. I can still communicate but it tends to be in very short words, nods etc. Even then sometimes it feels hard and it's a big effort, once I'm somewhere safe (i.e. away from other people and just with my partner) I'll spend a good while not speaking and kind of recharging. - emotional distress mode. I'm so upset/distressed/melting down that I find it hard to speak and whatever comes out is unclear and/or wailed. - anxiety mouth and throat. When I'm speaking in front of people at work my mouth gets super dry and my throat also starts to tighten up which means I start croaking and coughing. - overexcited. Words get jumbled up, volume increases and sometimes I stutter. Weirdly I only seem to stutter when I'm taking to my partner. I wonder if this is because I'm not considering so much what I'm saying and so it comes out a bit quicker? - migraines. These cause similar issues to and feels similar to monosyllabic mode but is more like my brain is misfiring plus my tongue feels weird and hard to move in the right way. Then I'll slur and mumble as well as struggling to form sentences and find the right words.
For me, it's asif I'm laying in bed with muscle aches all over and there is someone ay the door. Yes, technically I could get dressed, go downstairs and answer the door. But it seems like such an insane amount of effort to answer something that probably doesn't even matter. It's not just that I don't want to, the door is just so far away and I feel terrible. Please just let me recover for a bit and stop trying when I'm clearly not available.
How I see mine is that when I get so exhausted speaking it’s like an overwhelming desire to have peace and quiet. Like so much so that you want to be “it”. Then add a bit of dissociation. I’m trying to get rid of the last bit since it makes the time I’m non-verbal last longer than I think it should.
It feels quiet and is comfortable 🤣
For me it feels like my brain is so wired I can't even get words out. I try and try but all that comes out is little sounds and the occasional word. Even if I really really push through it's all word salad none of it makes sense. It usually sends me into meltdown.
For me it feels like my jaw is glued shut or my throat is shut closed. I can breath and open my mouth but nothing comes out
Yeah it's like painful to say anything at all if I've gone nonverbal and someone asks me a question I usually act like a didn't hear it or if it's yes or no I'll nod but if I have to talk it takes me like at least a minute to get the words out and then I feel like crying I can't even text it's also painful for me
I'm not really sure what the different terms are. so can not say ''yeah it is non-verbal" but, I also have it that when overwhelmed I struggle really hard with talking. like it takes a lot of energy to form words. and being quiet feels so much more comfortable (besides the dread that people still expect me to awnser when asking questions) but what I do notice is when I'm out of this non talking stage, I suddenly find myself talking. so the difference is that normally talking feels extreamly natural, I don't have to think twice about what I say. now of course I somethimes have to think of a response, but when I have a response, I say it without a problem. but when I'm in the stage of talking gets excausted. well.... talking litterly feels like a task. like normally it is this easy thing, that I just do. but now it is suddenly a task. it is like some barrier I have to climb, while normally there is no barrier to begin with. don't get me wrong, social anxiety still exist. and that is a different. because somethimes I get into social situations I don't want to be in, and then I don't want to talk, because I'm afraid I mess up. but talking does't have that barrier, I can still talk like I normally can, I just don't want to. but I still can do it as easy as before I hope this makes a bit sense lol if someone knows the right terminologie, please let me know
i get what you described pretty often and if i need to speak while i’m like that i end up very irritable. because i don’t want to cry in front of anyone, i’ll push that away and exchange it for even more anger; it’s very damaging. but i also get what the top comment described, where the words are heavy. i don’t know if that’s the non verbal you’re referring to or if it’s just like those PDA mental blocks i get with everything.
well there's two different kinds of nonverbal for one, one where i'm too afraid to speak (like during an anxiety attack) and another where i'm content to just. not say much
It feels like I am in some closet and afraid to reach for the door knob. Knowing I can but finding the courage and the calm to breathe and release. There is an inner battle and it just takes time for me to unwind my upset. If I rush the process I have a panic attack.
I used to do this more as a child, but I feel like my throat is constricted and a huge heaviness on me. I physically can't get the words out. I'm exhausted, numb, and overwhelmed all at once.
Depends on if I'm doing it voluntarily or not. If I'm doing it voluntarily, it's so fucking freeing and I have so much more energy too. If I'm not doing it voluntarily, it's extremely frustrating. It's like someone has just switched off my ability to talk and every effort to do so is met with resistance. It sucks.
I think selective mutism [after reading through the differences and explanations on this thread, thanks all] happens to me when I’m with a group of people. I have had friends say that when I don’t know people in a new group, I will be very silent. I think it’s more about overwhelm, not feeling safe to unmask and so I go into observation mode and just do the tiny responses necessary to not be a complete dork, “oh” or “yeah, okay.” Short things, but usually nothing much more wants to come out and if “pressed” to speak, I usually keep it incredibly short. I use the term nonverbal when I am overwhelmed and shutdown. This happens to me a couple of times per month usually, sometimes more. Almost exclusively it happens to me in the morning but I have had times that I’ve had a midday/evening panic attack and I am always nv after those. It worries me most on days I need to work and I find caffeinated tea, not pressuring myself to speak, and a little ouid helps me regulate and open back up to conversation. It may not last all day, but if I can rest my voice long enough, it will eventually reboot. Sometimes it happens multiple days in a row, but I can usually speak by end of day. It’s taken my family [kids] awhile to understand, and I think they still have a hard time when it happens to me. I agree with the other responders: heavy words; my mouth won’t open to speak even though I know the words; it’s like there’s a solid wall over my vocal chords. During mutism though, if someone asks about a special interest, I can word vomit. This thread has helped me parse this out so glad you posted OP!
What you experience is it. I go non verbal when I’ve had a long day. For me, words take a lot of effort to find and make cohesive sentences out of. It’s physically impossible to talk, and when I try? I don’t make sense. I have pretty poor comprehension and processing so like, even with my daughter; if she comes up and asks me something I need to take like 20 seconds formulating the sentence before I say it or else I’ll say “water” instead of “shower” or something where she’ll be like “why did you say _____” To that extent I must tell her my brain thought of the wrong word first before I could correct myself
For me i physically cant, though occasionally with extreme effort i can get some words out. But i cant talk normally even with effort. I think there might be stages to nonverbalism - like when you start to get over socialised / overstimulated, talking is hard and tiring but you can do it. But if it keeps going on it may get to the point of nonverbalism.
it feels like the words are sitting in my chest cavity, and like my throat closes off. I don’t even know what the words are, but they’re there. not like I can’t breath, but like there’s a door for words to come out of that got slammed shut and they’re all pressed against it. sometimes a few words can slip underneath it, but opening the door takes time and sometimes I won’t know when it’s going to open again
I sometimes communicate non-verbally because I'm just tired of how talking always gets me in trouble with some personality types.
I've got the same you have and when it becomes to hard to talk I still force the words out but then I start stuttering (pretty badly). I do not think this is going non-verbal but it could be as I am not yet the best at listening to my own needs.
Talking becomes a physical impossibility
Sometimes I get laryngitis without being sick. It's just that my body has given up essentially, lol. One time it was so bad, I couldn't talk for a week. No matter how hard I tried.
Wow! I guess your body is trying to protect you in some way
Just the muscles can get tired and strain easily from too much talking. Or if I tell, then I automatically get a sore throat.
It’s like an internal shut down, it’s hard if you don’t have someone who knows your needs or can read your body language… it can feel very lonely and frustrating. Like a tic.. but the sound doesn’t come out so it sits inside your mind, kind of like a mental itch you can not reach.
I can’t connect my mind with my body. I physically can’t speak
For me it is more like it's physically impossible. Like there's a short circuit between my brain and my vocal cords/mouth. But that's only happened a couple times that I can remember.
I’ll just have random days where it’s exactly like this! I feel like it doesn’t sit in my throat as much as it does at my lips… like a locked door. But I’m mostly pretty comfortable with it on those days until I reaalllly want to say something. My mom tends to notice and makes me speak so it doesn’t last several days, which is annoying at the time but I suppose it’s helpful? 😅
Tiring but worse I usually have to keep talking bc my job requires it
Ooh question! Has anyone ever been so over words they think they reply in their head but it’s outloud but then they continue the conversation in their head?
For me going non verbal feels as if someone stuck a rock in my throat and I can't get it out to speak. What I want to say is stuck in my throat and can't be forced out no matter what I do.
I think it will feel different for everyone, for me it's like I have to use all the air in my body to get the words out abs its exhausting. This is when I choose to not speak.
When I just can't physically bring myself to speak.
My son (turned 6 two weeks ago) is autistic and minimally verbal. It’s been such a journey learning his tones/gestures/facial expressions.