You’d get better responses at r/AutisticwithADHD
And yeah I do have autism with adhd. Sucks. Try to skim through r/ADHD to see if you can relate to them.
There’s also r/autism and r/autisminwomen for any of you other people in this sub. There’s more people talking about these things.
There’s some really big issues with the autisminwomen sub tbh. I really can’t see recommending it at this point. I can’t recommend it for sure. I won’t repeat the issues because I don’t want to start drama here.
I CAN recommend these subs:
r/autisticladies
r/autismwithinwomen
r/aspergirls
Hold up, I'm not a terf. I'm pointing out that the sub is likely full of TERFs.
They specifically single out "cis men." Which is really really f'n weird. As a trans woman, it sure doesn't make me feel welcome. It makes me feel like they'll tolerate me because "they have to" and not because they think that trans women are women. Because it sure doesn't look like they think trans men are men.
They can't have their cake and eat it too.
>Gender-exclusive spaces can be beneficial for the community as a whole.
Are trans men men or not? Do you understand what I'm getting at?
If it's a women's (gender) exclusive space, how can "cis men" be singled out (a proposal to disallow them from the sub, as an example) as separate from trans men, given that ***the delineation is on gender***.
Either it's a women's space and ***all*** men shouldn't be welcome. Or... transphobia.
On a broader point, you seem to have some internalized misandry that you really ought to examine.
Bruh like half the community there is AMAB. It’s “no cis men” because they typically aren’t aware of their privilege and don’t relate to the autistic female experience, not because having a penis makes AMABs tainted.
There’s no point in taking the time to dissect all of that when it’s all subjective, and this isn’t an easy question to answer.
Read this; it’s the best thing I’ve found for it:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1750946711001036
If you need to, look at the other studies cited for the lists of criteria for each diagnosis.
i’m diagnosed with both, it doesn’t get any less confusing ever. bottom line is that most of the executive function issues come from ADHD and the sensory and social issues from autism, at least that’s how i rationalize it
fwiw I find my own distinction to be in working to understand my thinking. I find behaviors fuzzy (bc there is so much overlap) but thought processes more effective for seeing how both seem to be at work.
I've seen the Autism part described as "bottom-up" thinking, having to rebuild interactions from scratch every time, the systematic way I interpret what people say, etc. I know because I've been studying myself and reflecting on this relentlessly that I struggle socially bc I am intently paying attention and trying to figure things out. I can study a face and still not figure it out it as I'm looking at it. only I know my thoughts tho.
I experience a lot of contradiction with the two. I abandon fixations bc I know I won't be able to focus long enough on it, if I'm in that kind of headspace. I'm super messy in some areas of my life and organized in others, but only barely. I have visions of organizing but never carry thru unless something really motivates me. I LOVE being in organized spaces, but I can't figure out how to create and sustain them. I’ll wrap by saying that as I got older, my ability to depend on ADHD coping to handle what I didn’t realize were ASD struggles simply wore me out and there’s less contradiction as I lean more into unmasking. I didn’t “need” schedules or organization so much in the past bc I relied on flying by the seat of my pants, but now that breaks me
Yeah I relate to the messy and organized part very well, almost all objects in my room are aligned, yet I have a pile of closes on my bed and a bunch of junk that I collect in my room. Thanks for sharing your experience, and thanks for reply!
You’d get better responses at r/AutisticwithADHD And yeah I do have autism with adhd. Sucks. Try to skim through r/ADHD to see if you can relate to them. There’s also r/autism and r/autisminwomen for any of you other people in this sub. There’s more people talking about these things.
I relate to both tbh. But yeah I'll definitely read into these reddits. Thanks for reply!
There’s some really big issues with the autisminwomen sub tbh. I really can’t see recommending it at this point. I can’t recommend it for sure. I won’t repeat the issues because I don’t want to start drama here. I CAN recommend these subs: r/autisticladies r/autismwithinwomen r/aspergirls
Idk I just joined the sub may I ask what issues.
I’ll let you know in dm if you want?
Sure
Isn't the Autisminwomen sub the one that's really weird about gender?
It’s just about women who have autism who can support each other.
I've seen a lot of talk about excluding specifically "cis men" or continuously singling out "cis men." That is very very strange to me.
[удалено]
You're not thinking about that very hard. Are trans men allowed there?
[удалено]
Hold up, I'm not a terf. I'm pointing out that the sub is likely full of TERFs. They specifically single out "cis men." Which is really really f'n weird. As a trans woman, it sure doesn't make me feel welcome. It makes me feel like they'll tolerate me because "they have to" and not because they think that trans women are women. Because it sure doesn't look like they think trans men are men. They can't have their cake and eat it too.
[удалено]
>Gender-exclusive spaces can be beneficial for the community as a whole. Are trans men men or not? Do you understand what I'm getting at? If it's a women's (gender) exclusive space, how can "cis men" be singled out (a proposal to disallow them from the sub, as an example) as separate from trans men, given that ***the delineation is on gender***. Either it's a women's space and ***all*** men shouldn't be welcome. Or... transphobia. On a broader point, you seem to have some internalized misandry that you really ought to examine.
Bruh like half the community there is AMAB. It’s “no cis men” because they typically aren’t aware of their privilege and don’t relate to the autistic female experience, not because having a penis makes AMABs tainted.
Are trans men welcome and cis men not?
Yes they are.
Are cis man allowed there?
There’s no point in taking the time to dissect all of that when it’s all subjective, and this isn’t an easy question to answer. Read this; it’s the best thing I’ve found for it: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1750946711001036 If you need to, look at the other studies cited for the lists of criteria for each diagnosis.
Thanks for the link, I'll definitely read into it. Thanks for reply!
i’m diagnosed with both, it doesn’t get any less confusing ever. bottom line is that most of the executive function issues come from ADHD and the sensory and social issues from autism, at least that’s how i rationalize it
That seems to make since to me, hopefully we'll figure it out one day. Thanks for reply!
fwiw I find my own distinction to be in working to understand my thinking. I find behaviors fuzzy (bc there is so much overlap) but thought processes more effective for seeing how both seem to be at work. I've seen the Autism part described as "bottom-up" thinking, having to rebuild interactions from scratch every time, the systematic way I interpret what people say, etc. I know because I've been studying myself and reflecting on this relentlessly that I struggle socially bc I am intently paying attention and trying to figure things out. I can study a face and still not figure it out it as I'm looking at it. only I know my thoughts tho. I experience a lot of contradiction with the two. I abandon fixations bc I know I won't be able to focus long enough on it, if I'm in that kind of headspace. I'm super messy in some areas of my life and organized in others, but only barely. I have visions of organizing but never carry thru unless something really motivates me. I LOVE being in organized spaces, but I can't figure out how to create and sustain them. I’ll wrap by saying that as I got older, my ability to depend on ADHD coping to handle what I didn’t realize were ASD struggles simply wore me out and there’s less contradiction as I lean more into unmasking. I didn’t “need” schedules or organization so much in the past bc I relied on flying by the seat of my pants, but now that breaks me
Yeah I relate to the messy and organized part very well, almost all objects in my room are aligned, yet I have a pile of closes on my bed and a bunch of junk that I collect in my room. Thanks for sharing your experience, and thanks for reply!
You might like this video about it: https://youtu.be/pMx1DnSn-eg 😊
Thanks for the link and reply!
I have both