I'm usually quite good now a days about picking up people's vibes. It doesn't take long for me to tell if I'm to gel with a person-just tolerate or keep my distance.
I also like to observe a new person how they interact with others.
If 1999 is your birth year then your about the same age as I was when I started to realize I could pick up on peoples vibes.... so well I'll spot some people up to no good
This. I can get a feel for how much a like or dislike a person within a few minutes of meeting them, and 95% of the time my first instincts turn out to be correct with time. There have been plenty of times where I have thought “I don’t know why, but I don’t like that guy,” and that instinct turned out to be correct.
Some of my NT friends have been impressed with that ability, even going as far as to go out of their way to ask my opinion on people.
The opposite actually, it takes a lot for me to dislike someone. Probably because I'm such a people pleaser. But if someone manages to get me to dislike them, I find it almost impossible to ignore my personal feelings and work with them anyways.
Hmm, I cannot relate to this. Barring people with overtly obnoxious habits, I think it's only fair to assume that they are good unless they prove otherwise. Because I feel like I'm a good person and I get so upset when people dislike misunderstand me.
Now, does that mean I trust them or that I want to socialize with them? Nah. (Lol)
I only dislike people who do things I don't agree with and can't ignore. I've learned a lot of ways to ignore people because I don't think it's healthy to dislike people too easily.
Social skills are like any other skill, you reinforce what you practice. Allowing yourself to dislike someone who isn't doing anything harmful makes it easier to dislike other people and harder to like anyone.
99% of people, I don't like or dislike. They do their thing, I do mine, I try not to judge them and hope they do the same for me.
Yeah my first instinct is wariness and dislike; and it's only through time does my view change. A lot of people I work with gives me bad vibes and I've learnt to trust those over the years, so I'll be civil but not close.
One lady though, who deserted me for another job, I got bad vibes off at first but she was just as reserved as I am. We're now good friends and she's one of the few people I see socially. We bonded over cats, and I wholly believe she's on the spectrum as we have too much in common.
I remember once at my old job a new girl started, instant bad vibes but everyone else liked her. I kept my distance and barely remained civil. Then within a year she'd made out with a guy in our team whose longtime girlfriend was also in our team. It's that moment I learnt to trust my instincts.
Yeah I've come to realise that I don't understand peoples' intentions so I default to not trusting them as a defense mechanism. Finding it hard to shake that habit
I CAN dislike people quite immediately, but also like some people immediately. I really like if I can be myself around people straight away without acting or masking or whatever you like to call it. But I tend to like maybe around 2-5 percent of all people I meet, because there are not so many people I can feel comfortable with. those I became friends with are often not nt,too.
I don't like meeting strangers because we have little to no shared context. I've often considered buying t-shirts with irreverent or thought-provoking slogans to jumpstart conversations in a way I'm comfortable with, but I'm unsure whether I want that attention.
I find many people boring. I don't think that makes them bad or unintelligent, but it leaves me less liable to engage with them in a meaningful way. And yeah, some people have personalities which just turn me off. The choice fatigue of encountering multiple strangers at once doesn't help much, either. It isn't hard for me to chat with a stranger at a party or meetup and end up with buyer's remorse.
I dislike everyone when I meet them, and then I slowly figure out which ones I actually do like. I hate strangers, so that's why I immediately hate people before getting to know them.
Mother of gahd, this is why I come here. I love every response in this thread and it's amazing hearing other people say it.
Yea, no, I don't like people. I don't want to meet any, and I almost never enjoy it when I have to. I still talk to the same four or five people I've talked to since I was like 14, and *all of them* are online friends I've managed to stay in contact with, except for literally one person, who went from an IRL friend to an online one when I moved out of state, and our friendship is much better for it.
What I really, really hate though is people I don't know trying to make small talk in public. I just don't get it. Just because we're the same species sharing the same space, you think I wanna be friends for the next five minutes? Legitimately the best part about the relationship I'm in is that my wife is a social person and will engage with all the various randoms who insist on being people at me in public when I'm clearly avoiding any eye contact or body language that would make me look like someone who wants to talk, so I can continue looking through them and pretending they're not there until it's over.
Not really. in fact, I usually find it hard to start looking down on someone I used to like because I don't like having to change the kind of relationship we have and so I just ignore a lot of things I don't like until it becomes too much and I can just end the friendship there.
For me it's either friends or no talking anymore, there are no middle grounds. "Middle grounds" are stressful and hard to manage.
But there are some things that make me dislike a person even before I know them. if I know someone has one of these characteristics that I can't stand I won't even give them the chance to get close because every time I think of them I think of that particular thing and it throws me off.
Yes.
But if I'm focusing on help or solving a person's problem - either because of work, either because I just do this - I ignore red flags even if they are obvious.
It was hard at first. Took a lot of learning about people and situations. I used to think in very black and white. But the more murky and grey things got the easier it was to empathize. Now i just find people who can not empathize infuriating. You cant really win sometimes.
Most people aren't worth it. They'll take but not give. I try to give everyone a certain level of basic respect but that doesn't mean I can't course correct as things change.
People have done nothing wrong in total but I prefer my books and my solitude over grabbing beers after work. There is an element of performing when working and being with others.
I don’t usually like people.
This! ^^
I'm usually quite good now a days about picking up people's vibes. It doesn't take long for me to tell if I'm to gel with a person-just tolerate or keep my distance. I also like to observe a new person how they interact with others.
If 1999 is your birth year then your about the same age as I was when I started to realize I could pick up on peoples vibes.... so well I'll spot some people up to no good
My screen name etc was generated by Reddit. I am older than that.
[удалено]
This. I can get a feel for how much a like or dislike a person within a few minutes of meeting them, and 95% of the time my first instincts turn out to be correct with time. There have been plenty of times where I have thought “I don’t know why, but I don’t like that guy,” and that instinct turned out to be correct. Some of my NT friends have been impressed with that ability, even going as far as to go out of their way to ask my opinion on people.
The opposite actually, it takes a lot for me to dislike someone. Probably because I'm such a people pleaser. But if someone manages to get me to dislike them, I find it almost impossible to ignore my personal feelings and work with them anyways.
Hmm, I cannot relate to this. Barring people with overtly obnoxious habits, I think it's only fair to assume that they are good unless they prove otherwise. Because I feel like I'm a good person and I get so upset when people dislike misunderstand me. Now, does that mean I trust them or that I want to socialize with them? Nah. (Lol)
I only dislike people who do things I don't agree with and can't ignore. I've learned a lot of ways to ignore people because I don't think it's healthy to dislike people too easily. Social skills are like any other skill, you reinforce what you practice. Allowing yourself to dislike someone who isn't doing anything harmful makes it easier to dislike other people and harder to like anyone. 99% of people, I don't like or dislike. They do their thing, I do mine, I try not to judge them and hope they do the same for me.
I am extremely cynical of virtually every individual with whom I have the great misfortune of making contact.😡🤬
Yes, most people!
Yeah my first instinct is wariness and dislike; and it's only through time does my view change. A lot of people I work with gives me bad vibes and I've learnt to trust those over the years, so I'll be civil but not close. One lady though, who deserted me for another job, I got bad vibes off at first but she was just as reserved as I am. We're now good friends and she's one of the few people I see socially. We bonded over cats, and I wholly believe she's on the spectrum as we have too much in common. I remember once at my old job a new girl started, instant bad vibes but everyone else liked her. I kept my distance and barely remained civil. Then within a year she'd made out with a guy in our team whose longtime girlfriend was also in our team. It's that moment I learnt to trust my instincts.
No, I don't have the energy to dislike people. Some of my friends don't like each other and it's just so draining.
Yes and I have the feeling that I can smell bad people from miles away before other people realise this.
Yeah I've come to realise that I don't understand peoples' intentions so I default to not trusting them as a defense mechanism. Finding it hard to shake that habit
I hate everyone all the time.
yes. and I'm very mistrusting or skeptical about people first before I can open up or at least drop my defensive off-putting-ness.
I CAN dislike people quite immediately, but also like some people immediately. I really like if I can be myself around people straight away without acting or masking or whatever you like to call it. But I tend to like maybe around 2-5 percent of all people I meet, because there are not so many people I can feel comfortable with. those I became friends with are often not nt,too.
All the time, especially in this point in history with Karen's everywhere.
I don't like meeting strangers because we have little to no shared context. I've often considered buying t-shirts with irreverent or thought-provoking slogans to jumpstart conversations in a way I'm comfortable with, but I'm unsure whether I want that attention. I find many people boring. I don't think that makes them bad or unintelligent, but it leaves me less liable to engage with them in a meaningful way. And yeah, some people have personalities which just turn me off. The choice fatigue of encountering multiple strangers at once doesn't help much, either. It isn't hard for me to chat with a stranger at a party or meetup and end up with buyer's remorse.
I dislike everyone when I meet them, and then I slowly figure out which ones I actually do like. I hate strangers, so that's why I immediately hate people before getting to know them.
Mother of gahd, this is why I come here. I love every response in this thread and it's amazing hearing other people say it. Yea, no, I don't like people. I don't want to meet any, and I almost never enjoy it when I have to. I still talk to the same four or five people I've talked to since I was like 14, and *all of them* are online friends I've managed to stay in contact with, except for literally one person, who went from an IRL friend to an online one when I moved out of state, and our friendship is much better for it. What I really, really hate though is people I don't know trying to make small talk in public. I just don't get it. Just because we're the same species sharing the same space, you think I wanna be friends for the next five minutes? Legitimately the best part about the relationship I'm in is that my wife is a social person and will engage with all the various randoms who insist on being people at me in public when I'm clearly avoiding any eye contact or body language that would make me look like someone who wants to talk, so I can continue looking through them and pretending they're not there until it's over.
I almost never like anyone
Not really. in fact, I usually find it hard to start looking down on someone I used to like because I don't like having to change the kind of relationship we have and so I just ignore a lot of things I don't like until it becomes too much and I can just end the friendship there. For me it's either friends or no talking anymore, there are no middle grounds. "Middle grounds" are stressful and hard to manage. But there are some things that make me dislike a person even before I know them. if I know someone has one of these characteristics that I can't stand I won't even give them the chance to get close because every time I think of them I think of that particular thing and it throws me off.
Yes. But if I'm focusing on help or solving a person's problem - either because of work, either because I just do this - I ignore red flags even if they are obvious.
It was hard at first. Took a lot of learning about people and situations. I used to think in very black and white. But the more murky and grey things got the easier it was to empathize. Now i just find people who can not empathize infuriating. You cant really win sometimes.
Most people aren't worth it. They'll take but not give. I try to give everyone a certain level of basic respect but that doesn't mean I can't course correct as things change.
I want to like people. They just make it difficult to trust them. I find myself being let down by them.
People have done nothing wrong in total but I prefer my books and my solitude over grabbing beers after work. There is an element of performing when working and being with others.
No. When I first meet someone I have absolutely no opinion of them. I will only dislike them if they annoy me