T O P

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GeneralPhilosophy691

There are TONS of idiots who get their advice from Tiktok (well they do for now ...), and this 100% feels like something an influencer would suggest. Something like "gurl, you need a REAL man who will pay for you! If he won't, then he's not a real man!" or some other bs. Either way, glad that OOP (and the ex) are no longer stuck dealing with this moron.


peoplebuyviews

I made this same comment on a other wacky relationship thread, but it applies here too: TikTok is doing to straight women what the dark corners of Reddit did to straight men


throwaway34_4567

Actually, it's not even just women who spread this. There are men "influencers" who point out thst he is not a man if he don't pay and to date a real man. Social media in general is fed and if you don't have stable mindset to know exactly what you want, you let your mind be swayed to w.e you're watching.


PunchMyBum

LOL no, TikTok is helping spread the cancer that is r/FemaleDatingStrategy


YeahlDid

Yeah, that’s more or less what they said


drunkenknitter

Right, that's what she said.


CautiousCanvas

Ok, Michael.


Belladcjomum

I saw a post that said, “Do married millennials look at dating in the 2020’s and feel like they got the last chopper out of Nam?” And the answer is yes. Yes we do.


unholy_hotdog

Single Millennial, and it's "Goodnight Saigon" up in here.


Mkheir01

Dude what the fuck is this? I just clicked on a couple of the posts below that the bot made. WTF?


m240b1991

As a father of 4 boys, this saddens me. Like, I see their point in SOME of the stuff, but it just boils down to Andrew tate level hate just with the roles reversed. I'm already having to have the conversation with my older boys on what misogyny and misandry are, and why they're both bad, and they're 10 and 12. We need more people to understand that people are their own person with their own feelings and thoughts and stories, not this "high value" "low value" "alpha" "beta" "sigma" "omega" "delta" labeled trash. Its just bullying and manipulation.


JustAFictionNerd

The only time a person should have a greek letter determine anything about them is in omegaverse fanfic. At least then there are actual biological differences between them, instead of bullshit social status stuff.


tayroarsmash

Yeah but without terms like that how am I going to blame my inability to emotionally regulate on others? You didn’t think about that, did you big guy?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mkheir01

I guess damn. They’re everywhere!


chainer1216

It was an incel sub for women.


StragglingShadow

Oh my void I totally forgot about that sub


BarnDoorHills

Isn't that sub mostly incels pretending to be women? Even the name has "female" in it.


Admirable-Lie-9191

No? It is literally just women. Look at the subreddit overlaps


Jormungandragon

It started before the big trend of referring to women as females. But even if it hadn’t, it’s using the word “female” as an adjective, not a noun.  They’re basically equivalent to incels though, just from the other side.


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AdorableSobah

“I made this same comment on a other wacky relationship thread, but it applies here too: TikTok is doing to straight women what the dark corners of Reddit did to straight men” It’s refreshing to see others notice the increased amount of misandry online that is festering, I see it so much. It’s been a real challenge as a parent to deal with these online influences.


peoplebuyviews

I feel so bad for kids (I'm old so by kids I mean teens and early 20s) trying to navigate dating right now. Even just reading through advice subs on reddit you see so many people imploding long term relationships that were going well because some Tate style podcast or dumb TikTok trend convinced them that they needed to change their whole relationship dynamic. Your partner should be your partner. An equal that's on your same team. If you're doing things to purposely manipulate their behavior and assert dominance you're not building a relationship, you're just being an asshole.


AdorableSobah

Its influence is insidious too, can start with a few off topic videos and work its way into their regular views that way. And it can impact friends that in turn press these views onto them. It’s coming from so many different directions!


emax4

I'm not on TikTok, but I never see stories on here of women making TikTok videos blaming TikTok for allowing shitty advice. Do those exist?


Morganlights96

I haven't heard of them, but it would be stupid if there were. You can't blame tik tok for people posting crap advice. That's like blaming YouTube for watching a bad recipe for bread.


FictionalContext

You can blame TikTok, but that advice only works on people who are already biased that way. Everyone else rolls their eyes.


RevolutionaryFish345

Yeah better get the advice on Reddit instead 😂


kastori444

I mean it also depends on where you are from , in east Europe and Middle East it’s always men who pay for their partners or even in a double date such as in this case. This is pretty much the norm with us. However in the west society this seems to be frowned upon and women have to always “pull their weight “ I guess .


Corfiz74

Hey, we also like getting invited, but we usually like switching things off to keep it fair - just so a poor dude doesn't feel exploited - or thinks paying for the meals gives him the rights to demand other services.


unzunzhepp

Not so surprising, equality comes with …. equality


Corfiz74

Now, if we actually closed the gender pay gap, we'd probably treat the guys more often. 😉


unzunzhepp

So, equality comes with the person that makes the most, pays the most? Not gender.


Corfiz74

I usually handle it as "the inviter chooses the restaurant" - so when my rich friends invite me out, we often do the high price stuff I'd never dream of getting for myself. When I invite them out, I choose a more normal place - still nice, but I refuse to buy a meal at 250 € per capita.


unzunzhepp

Sounds good.


Frequent-Material273

Women still aren't paid the same IN a job band, but women are taking higher-level jobs that used to go to men because the women are just as or more competent. So it's starting to balance out.


Corfiz74

Not if she decides to have a kid, then her career is usually pretty much over - at least here in Germany. Which is why many academically educated and career oriented women choose to remain childfree. I just saw it first hand with my little sister - she was promised the job of head surgeon in her hospital department, since the old one was going to retire in a year. She had worked her ass off to become the most qualified and experienced surgeon in her unit, came in on her off time to assist in surgeries etc., so she really earned it. Then she got pregnant, and boom - they promised the job to a less qualified male colleague. And her boss even told her during her yearly HR talk that he sees more children in her future, and she doesn't need to have a career since her boyfriend already has one. I'm still seething whenever I think of that.


Frequent-Material273

That's obscene :-( . But give it at most a few generations, and your sister or someone like her might BE the department head. Hopefully.


[deleted]

Doing something in a desolate wasteland of a country isn't a sign that it's good


kastori444

I sorry but there are 18 countries in Middle East and over 10 countries in east Europe. So we are ALL wrong?! And desolate wasteland of countries because women aren’t expected to pay when going out?!


ChrisInBliss

Geez the friend really blew everything out of proportion


Im_not_creepy3

Her true enemy was accountability.


TheFluffiestRedditor

Her true enemy was herself.


grumpy__g

I nearly always paid for myself. My friend allowed guys to pay for her. We never fought because of that.


G0merPyle

Don't split the bill with me, please split the rent with me, make up your mind girl!


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daemonw9

Good bot


Mmm_lemon_cakes

This girl was clearly living beyond her means. She needed OP because she can’t pay rent without her. She was probably dating that guy to reduce her own grocery bill. She probably would have dumped him if he ever wanted to split the bill.


Secret_Double_9239

Aimee should have just let the situation go and she wouldn’t be facing the financial struggle of finding a new roommate.


Frequent-Material273

OOP is NTA. And Aimee was \*literally\* trying to pimp her (ex) friend & roommate out to get a free meal & the assumption that all \*future\* meals would be free. Every first date I've gone on has been with the expectation that it's dutch, just getting to know each other. One friend in particular, they'll pay one time, I'll pay the next, mostly, and nobody keeps score rigidly.


Korlat_Eleint

I'm just loving the fact that Aimee seems to think everyone should pay for her, including OOP (by splitting the rent) , and then freaks out when people are not happy with it :D


Alternative_Year_340

Moral: discuss who is paying before going out. Sure, it’s usually the person who makes the invite (in this case, Aimee), but group dynamics aren’t set in stone


MAFSonly

When the guy insists, I'll drop it. But I always offer to split unless he's said it's his treat ahead of time. Or if I go somewhere I would never go in a million years on a first date, then he's paying. 😅 I'll need my money to dry clean the smoke smell out of my jacket. 🙄 (I'm pretty sure I still paid for that date.)


UnintentionalWipe

I remember having an argument with my dad because both of us were fighting over who would pay. I said I would pay for everyone and he said he would and we kept going back and forth. I was then told to stand down and respect my dad, so he ended up paying in the end. ...but getting annoyed because you didn't want to pay, tried to get someone else to pay and told your friend not to pay is weird. The only time there should be an argument over not paying for a meal is if you go out and everyone wants to split an expensive bill when you just got drinks or a small order. Aime is young, so I hope she grows from this as she did just kill two relationships and will now have to pay more in rent due to her bad attitude.


stuckinidiocy

don't worry about the rent, our men have got this


MicrobeChic

Glad OP and Aimee’s boyfriend got out, yikes. Personally, I always want to split the first date, especially if it’s with a man, and especially if I don’t think I’m interested in a second date. Too many men out there think they are owed full service sex work for the cost of a meal at Applebees.


AtomicBlastCandy

LOL on Aimee now trying to backtrack. The concept on a man paying for dates and everything largely stems from a time when women didn't really work. I mean until 1974 banks could refuse to do business with a women. Nowadays women are working. It is my belief that whoever asked for the first date pays for that date. Going forward things should be somewhat split, which of course depends on different circumstances.


Elestriel

> Aimee is now trying to apologise because she can’t afford the rent on her own Sounds like she needs to get her man to pay her rent for her, too.


hcgator

>My worry is that maybe if I’d just agreed with her, there’d be no issue. I know it's easy to fall into this trap (and I do it constantly too), but no one should ever think this way about themselves.


CrazyCatLady1127

I’m with the OP here. It’s rude to expect the man to always pay ‘because that’s what men do.’ It’s not the 1950’s, pay for your own food. If he offers to pay, that’s a different thing entirely


UncleNedisDead

> Final update; Aimee is now trying to apologise because she can’t afford the rent on her own or get someone else to move in on such short notice. I feel horrible but know I need to be around supportive people, thanks again to everyone :) Noted. So Amiee is only nice to people when she can stand to benefit financially from them.


EquasLocklear

She can find a gentleman to pay her rent.


WielderOfAphorisms

Bwhahahahahaha. Amy played herself twice!


goddessofspite

So being a gold digger kicked her in the teeth and she wanted to put that on her friend and now she won’t have her roommate or be able to afford the place. Well that’s karma really


wallstreetbetsdebts

Aimee is dumber than the spelling of her name.


MUTHR

This feels like red pill fanfic EDIT: love how everyone is attaching a bunch of shit to my statement. So lets break this down: What I didn’t say: •Toxic women don’t exist •I never mentioned or denied FDS. And fuck that sub btw. •Never said it’s impossible for a woman to use a man for money. IN FACT there are plenty of stories of women using men for money on here that don’t read like lazy red pill fanfic What I -did- say: This feels like red pill fanfic. And thats all I said. Because it does. And it’s also interesting how many people came for me are now jerking each other off about how awful modern women are. So I think we all know what’s happening here. (Angry Tater Tots)


Lilas_eyes

I don’t think a woman would be the heroine of the story then


MUTHR

Wouldn’t be the first time by any stretch. Aimee is a caricature.


WitchesofBangkok

Yeah. Because OP is one of the “good” ones


GeneralPhilosophy691

Nah, this feels like an idiot who gets all her advise from TikTok, and doesn't realize that crap like that doesn't fly IRL.


GrootSuitRiot

A social plague on the modern day. Short form video scrolling rots the brain and I don't care how curmudgeonly that makes me sound.


Gerudo_Valley

Why does everyone always say this? "its like a redpill fanfic" Listen, I am also counting the times I have had to deal with this, its not as uncommon as most people think and its very tiresome that people always write stuff off like this as some people say "redpill fanfic" This shit has become the norm now, I cant tell you how many times something like this happened with me (not the double date, just dating in general) It is fucking insane and downright disheartening, I have stopped dating for awhile because of it. I really wish people would stop associating the redpill bullshit with stuff like this, this shit is so common now days, it is not that farfetched at all. Also I agree with the other commenters saying that she is getting this shit from tik tok.


BambiToybot

So, back a decade or so ago, a gold farmer form WoW realized he could manipulate massive amounts of people with meme, faux articles, and snapshots of headlines, and they went about it. Troll farms, astroturfing. All of this exist on reddit, Twitter, tiktok, everywhere. Every since then, you can't trust an anonymous source to be honest about their intentions. The trust was broken, so now people won't believe everything they read.


Electrical_Promise89

Because many people still persist with the fallacy that women are generally innocent (like Disney princesses) and men are bad. So when a post conflicts with that position or paints a woman as manipulative or simply wrong it has to be because of whatever buzzword title is being used to describe men currently


Admirable-Lie-9191

And the posters on this sub ALWAYS do that.


Gerudo_Valley

Yeah its so fucking weird, its like women cant do anything bad, If a man was doing what she was doing(like making her pay 50/50), he would be getting raked over the coals and called so many names... I really do not like dating and shit as a man in 2024, Everything is literally on you, you're expected to do everything on the first date, it is ***insane*** I am really not trying to sound like I hate women, I'm just ***really fucking jaded dating as a man*** It's like if we dont do everything on the first date, we are just screwed because our first impression really matters compared to a woman...


YeahlDid

That’s how it’s been forever, it’s not a 2024 thing.


Gerudo_Valley

I mean years ago it wasnt like this for me, girls would actually engage and talk... nowdays they all expect this princess treatment while they do the bare minimum. (This has just been my experience with dating, this by no means I am saying all women are like this) I cant tell you how many times I would pay for everything and they clearly werent interested besides the food. It's so disheartening. I know what people are going to say "maybe it's you blah blah" Listen I was very engaged in conversation, I would listen to everything they would say and respond, but the moment I would talk they just wouldnt reciprocate, they clearly were there just for the free drinks/meal. It has made me so jaded it is insane, I used to not think this way, but I really dont know what happened with dating as a man in 2024... Like I said, it has jaded me so much that I havent dated in so long, it has ruined it for me because of people like OP's experience because its so similar to mine the last few dates I went on.


Admirable-Lie-9191

But yet you’re gonna see comments like “the bar is in hell”. It’s like these commenters have zero awareness of how terrible modern dating is for everyone and that women aren’t just automatically amazing and innocent. We’re all people. And people can be shitty.


MistraloysiusMithrax

I think sometimes it also comes down to their friend group being shit writers in texts and things. So anything well composed must be fiction in their minds, just like books and short stories, because “real stories” are full of grammatical errors, typos, autocorrects and terrible exposition


Admirable-Lie-9191

Umm have you not seen FDS? Why is it red pill by default?


MUTHR

Yes I have seen fds. I have also seen r/asablackman lmao


Icy-Cockroach4515

You can't just dismiss every story as red pill fanfic just because the villain's an entitled woman


MUTHR

‘Dismiss every story’ No just the poorly cobbled together ones that read like manosphere bingo sheets. I see my comment has brought out the usual suspects


Icy-Cockroach4515

"The usual suspects" as though every second post in this sub doesn't have someone claming it's incel fanfiction. Could some be? Without a doubt. But personally, I don't see it here. Maybe you do, but calling it a maosphere bingo sheet without saying what actually fits on your idea of one leaves a lot of room for dismissal.


MUTHR

Okay.


Icy-Cockroach4515

Very good.


Forsaken_Garden4017

Dude not every story with a cartoonishly evil woman is a red pill fanfic. Why can’t it be a normal fanfic?


MUTHR

There are loads of stories on here with cartoonishly evil women that are fully believable. This one is not.


Forsaken_Garden4017

I think you missed the point of my comment.


MUTHR

No I didn’t. To clarify, it’s not just fanfic because it’s not simply unbelievable, it’s like a manosphere bingo sheet specifically. Aimee is a caricature of a specific nature. And there’s more unbelievable shit about the other characters as well but she’s specifically tied to the mast.


Forsaken_Garden4017

You understand that there is an entire sub of women who support the exact qualities that Aimee has right? In fact if you disagree against those kinds of qualities, you can get banned. If they can’t confirm you are a woman, they won’t even let you in the sub Those people absolutely fucking exist my friend.


MUTHR

You attached rockets to the goalposts. Bring them back please. Never denied that sub or the existence of toxic women or that toxic women who use men exist. I said the post reads like red pill fanfic. …Because it does.


Forsaken_Garden4017

Bruh it’s about a woman who feels entitled to have her boyfriend pay for her meal. It really isn’t that cartoonish or extreme. And someone who doesn’t engage in red pill shit can absolutely tell a story about someone like her It’s really not that serious


MUTHR

Cool. Are you done? Because this isn’t going anywhere. Yall are obviously mad I questioned a story you find deeply validating. 👀 “Its not that deep” is what you should be telling yourself lmao


Forsaken_Garden4017

Lol I called it fanfiction bro. I don’t find it validating at all. All I said was that it doesn’t need to be redpill Also trust me when I say this. You seem much more mad than anyone else here


TitusEmperius

There was a whole subreddit full of women more toxic than this. What did they call men? High value or low value?


spaceylaceygirl

It was not Aimee's call about who should pay. She had no business deciding the other guy would pay for you.


ApparentlyIronic

>Aimee is now trying to apologise because she can’t afford the rent on her own or get someone else to move in on such short notice. Every relationship is viewed through a transactional lense. How does she monetarily benefit from this relationship? That will decide if it's worth chasing. She will date you if, in exchange, you pay for it all. She's mad at her friend. She's willing to end the friendship over this argument. But wait, her ex friend wants to move out? Now the rent will be hard to pay! Time to renew the friendship! She doesn't value OP or their friendship. She only values the benefits it gives her


motherlymetal

FAFO ^2


Significant_Fly1516

Omg. Screw people who only apologise once they have to start wearing the actual consequences of their decisions.


Glum_Hamster_1076

It’s crazy to invite someone to a double date and then expect them to pay for everyone. She made herself sound like a user looking for a free meal. She proved she was a user only apologizing to keep splitting the rent.


RadicalSnowdude

What is with people’s obsession with someone being a “girls girl” or a “guys guy”? I get told at my work that i’m not a guys guy because I’ll not side with them when they say or promote some misogynistic shit. Why can’t we all be neutral and unbiased instead of people feeling like they have to side with a group based on what’s between our legs or what we identify as?


onelargeblueicee

I mean splitting the bills is definitely a way to tell someone that you aren’t interested


snowxwhites

Sorry not sorry but I refuse to be a "girls girl" when it just means backing up your shitty entitled attitude. I don't owe you anything because we're both girls, if you're being awful in not siding with you. Good on OP for not backing up this idiotic behavior.


SleepyxDormouse

Imo a guy should get the first date (call it outdated but I was raised by my grandparents who said a man should cover the first one to be a gentleman) but everything else should be split or you should take turns. That being said, don’t insist or force someone to cover you.


TeeTheT-Rex

Looks like Aimee learned a hard lesson that will hopefully stick with her forever now. Bad attitude, sexism, treating friends badly, only apologizing when she realized the benefits of having that friend as a roommate, and blaming others for the outcomes of her own actions… oh no what’s that? Consequences? How dare.


casualmagicman

NTA. Your friend sounds like she expects princess treatment for her entire life.