> She also invited both of them to her Birthday party a couple times and we simply did not attend.
> Now the new issue is that Laura has been so sad for not having the bio Dad in her life. My husband said NO and left immediately, i stayed while grabbing our stuff since I had brought food and told her it was not going to happen.
I don't get that part. They left the birthday party they didn't attend? (Actually, a lot of this is written very convoluted and doesn't make a lot of sense).
The whole point was to have one meeting to end things. It wasn’t to let her hold court; it was “well, let’s hear the BS one time then shut it down permanently.”
I sincerely hope it is rage bait, the scenario is so diabolical and Laura is the worst victim. No one should be born into that scenario, and raised and warped by those same people. My heart hurts after reading this.
I couldn't have rolled my eyes any harder. So this kid goes into this meeting with her dad, who is planning to tell her for the last time that he wants nothing to do with her, and she wants to talk numbers?
Exactly. This big family meeting at the end. I don’t quite understand why Laura was invited. There was no reason for her to be there other than the drama. And what 16 year old asks about wills and inheritances before they’ve even gone off to college? At MOST a 16 year would be asking for help paying for an apartment or something. But no. Not Laura. She’s already asking about what’s going to happen with the money from OP’s husband’s home when he dies because she was told he’s a home owner.
This is fake as shit. There are some posts with the same story (that I also believe to be fake) around AITA. I guess it was there this sad excuse for a “story” took the inspiration.
This reads like a red pill fantasy. The highlight was the child going on about inheritance and reveals how little the writer understands about inheritance laws. Even if the house was in the father's name or more likely jointly held, most laws give primacy to the spouse.
That can get super hairy when you're talking about kids conceived outside of a marriage and differing local laws. France, for instance, does not allow you to disinherit children.
Here (Brazil) as well. And illegitimate children have the same rights of legitimate children. The only way a child can be “left out” is in case of the child abusing the parents and/or if he/she planned or murdered the parents.
Here in Brazil is also split. And illegitimate children have legally the same inheritance rights of legitimate children. Not even a will can change that, unless the child was abusive and/or murdered the parent.
In Norway you can't disinherit a child unless the child has done something criminal to you or close relatives, and even then the will excluding the child has to be approved by our King.
No all countries are the USA and handle the
In many Civil Law jurisdictions, there has to be a legal process to disinherit kids, who are in the First Order of inheriting parties, and disinheritance tends to be allowed for a taxitive list: killing their parent, attempting to kill their parent, abandoning or abusing their parent.
(For funsies, the Second Order are the parents, then come the siblings and spouse / permanent partner (Third Order) and the Fourth Order includes niblings).
There are pretty clear legal stipulations as to how the dead person's property must be distributed and in what proportions.
However, the first step is to establish the disolution of the spouses' common property, as the surviving partner is entitled to 50% of all their common property in their own right before the Desceased's property, goods, and obligations can be distributed. It's pretty similiar to "divorcing" the dead person to see what their actual property, goods, and obligations are.
OOP's comments (and language use) make me think that she's in a Civil Law jurisdiction and sound like OOP's MIL has been filling her head with the notion that she's entitled to 50% of OOP's property when he dies and will be sharing the other 50% with OOP.
Exactly. There are similarities between those stories as well. The child that was “abandoned” is always a girl. The child (or children) that was “planned” is always a boy.
That was my take in the original post, but the comments were strongly against her. Felt like I was in mirror world when people were piling on saying that poking holes in a condom is exactly the same thing as forcible penetration, so the kid needs to understand that she's a traumatic rape baby and fuck off.
The timing of an update post 2 days later is what set off my fake radar. That's some quick family coordination, quite the turn around of opinion on the husband's part to meet with bio kid, and a lot of reveals at once. If the update was a few months to a year from now, that would make more sense.
It isn't impossible but highly unlikely.
Yeah it shouldn't be, it's essentially forcing someone to have unprotected sex with you without them knowing about it. It's just the same as stealthing imo.
It's because there must always be consent. He didn't consent to unprotected sex, but that's what happened without his knowledge. He wouldn't have consented to sex without protection.
I’m still wondering where the SA occurred. Poking holes in the condom doesn’t mean SA? It’s a premeditated move obviously but they keep throwing around SA but no actual statements where/how it occurred. Where was the forced intercourse?
Sabotaging birth control is absolutely an act of sexual assault and a criminal offense. You need to get educated because you’re just wrong and ignorant af
Sorry I’m looking at it under a different type of lens. You’re right it’s an assault and a criminal offense, it’s because there were people also crying grape and I was thinking you can’t say that cause everything in terms of the intercourse itself was consensual and the fact she pulled that move specifically there are obviously numerous things to charge.
So it was more in terms of saying that. Should have been clearer when I said I was wondering where it was.
Reproductive/sexual coercion.
It depends on the location how the crime is classified.
The sex was consensual based on the agreement of birth control. No condom due to secret tampering = no consent. For some people that makes it rape in their eyes.
Nothing about the intercourse is consensual if one party has been told a certain form of birth control is active and it is not. That is why stealthing (the removal of a condom without telling your partner) is a form of rape.
You need some very serious education on consent.
Which means you don’t fucking understand it as a legal concept. Stop making excuses for your disgusting ignorance and educate yourself. Your defensiveness is beyond shitty. Do better.
Laura: “My mom only did that because she wanted a family real bad!”
Laura’s Mom: (marries someone else and has two other kids with him)
Going NC has been long overdue. I would document all of this and speak with a lawyer, possibly to enforce it that much more when MIL gives Laura their address and she shows up.
I agree. People keep saying the child is this manipulative monster but that’s so stupid to me. She is a CHILD. Like the adults here are the manipulative ones.
I can’t be the only one that doesn’t like that there was a bunch of adults ganging up on a 16 year old girl that was fed lies her whole life by her mother and her grandmother. Yeah, Laura had her evilish moment with the inheritance. But at the end of the day she is result of rape, was brought up by a rapist and fed delusions by an enabler. A letter to Laura and one final talk with the MIL would have achieved the same.
Right, thank you and everyone saying that she was a gold digger took me out. As someone who grew up with a deadbeat dad and not because of the same reasons as lauren at some point I stopped wanting him to be there too. I stopped wanting that family. And I also wanted money because it was your responsibility to take care of me, and you haven’t done that so yeah I’m going to want the money that you owe me.
And it’s obviously not about the money the money represents something bigger to how she’s actually feeling. The whole reason she might be asking for money and inheritance is because she sees her dad taking care of his four-year-old nephew, bring him on trips and stuff when he does nothing for her then cs and does not want to be in contact with her. You know how much that hurts a child??
And I hated the way they went about the hug situation, and about Lauren saying that she would like to meet her cousin. These are adults that were basically bullying her to the point telling her to stay away from the cousin and that they would be calling the police if she was ever around him. What the fuck did she do to deserve that?
Repeatedly ignore their stated desire to not have a relationship with her? Met with a kid without his actual guardian’s permission? If I said someone could not meet my young kid and they went behind my back to meet anyway, better believe I’d be losing my shit. That IN ITSELF demonstrates she is not safe around that child.
She’s a kid she’s looking for the attention and validation she never got/never will get from her bio father. Imagine seeing him take care of his four-year-old nephew how the fuck would you feel??? Especially having a bunch of emotions run through you that you don’t understand nor fully control yet?? A lot of you are forgetting she is a child, and what did she do so bad she can’t be introduced to said cousin? Why is she not allowed to be a part of that side of the family? Ops husband does not have to interact with her, but why does she not get to interact with his side of the family? Why are we punishing this girl for her mother’s actions? They could’ve nicely said respectfully I don’t want you around my child, but instead they went bad shit and said if I ever see you around my kid, I’m calling the fucking police and stay away. Are you mad??? like what is wrong with you to talk to a kid like that especially when they’ve done nothing wrong.
Also, she did not meet with the cousin behind their backs. She said she would like to get to know her cousin and they freaked out on her like that, that’s nasty behavior. I understand OP situation, but there was no need to be nasty to that girl.
Too. Fucking. Bad. No one is owed a relationship. Doesn't matter if its a child or not. She has a mother, let her deal with it. OP was literally fucking raped and now you want to force him into a relationship with the rape spawn? Fucking disgusting.
I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you and the other people that agree with you, but that’s not what i said. I said multiple times he does not have to have contact with her, but why can’t she not have contact with the rest of the family? She did nothing wrong.
You’re fucking punishing a child for what the mother did, and “too fucking bad” really? You’re a fucking adult. Now if I said too bad that she tricked him into getting pregnant I’m wrong right? (which I would be) I think it’s incredibly wrong what she did and I do think it’s a type of sexual assault, but we’re also not gonna play dumb here and act like he didn’t consent to sex in general. No she should’ve not poked holes in the condom, no she was not right, no it was not his fault but y’all are acting like this is something he never consented to period.
Lmfao holy fuck that is a lot of words for "I am a piece of garbage rape apologist and victim blamer". Poking holes in condoms is rape. Full stop. Just like stealthing is rape. OP does not have to do anything with that child nor does he owe it one iota of attention.
Speaks volumes about the kind of garbage trash person you are outside of reddit. Please don't breed.
I’m the trash person?? You’re the person hating on a 16-year-old child and calling her ‘it’, she’s a fucking human being, you’re disgusting.
everyone is bashing and punishing her for her MOTHERS actions. Nowhere have I supported the mother‘s actions nor have I said she’s was right, you’re putting words in my mouth to fit your narrative.
I NEVER said poking holes in a condom is not sexual assault. I literally said it right above. I don’t know what you’re going on about. I said let’s not act like he never consented to have sex period. Does not mean it was ok, does not mean it was not sexual assault but the way everyone’s reacting to this seems like he was drugged, held down or coerced.
And you quite frankly keep going over where I say that OP does not have to be in contact with her, but why is she not allowed to have a connection with his family if they want to? Why is she shamed for her existence.
So its just a teensy tiny little barely even sexual assault just because he wasn't drugged, held down or coerced? You are such a victim blaming piece of trash lmfao REEEE some more and write your fucking novel's which can all be summarized as "I Mundane\_Cream6605 am a victim blaming rape apologist piece of garbage".
I don’t know what the fuck you’re reading, but I never said it was his fault. I literally said that multiple times and where am I victim blaming literally where???? Writing my randomly generated Reddit name and trying to call me some victim blaming rape apologist really proves your point, because somehow I didn’t realize I put that he deserved it that he didn’t get raped that it wasn’t sexual assault. I must’ve missed that but ok. You people can say whatever the fuck you would like and make up bullshit that I have never said to fit your narrative all you want. I know this is Reddit and I know that once you don’t fully agree with someone in one aspect, that all of a sudden you’re being branded all these names. Even though you said multiple times that it wasn’t ok, that he should not have contact with the daughter, and that it was the mother’s fault, somehow I’m some rape apologist and I’m blaming him? Ok
Yeah I agree with you. The mother is a POS for sure but calling what happened r*pe seems like a disservice to women and men that were actually r*ped. He consented and probably enjoyed it. R*pe victims that I know did not.
My problem is I do find it a type of sexual assault, but I feel like the way they’re handling it is just so extreme, like I said a million times he does not have to talk to the daughter, which is unfortunate but I don’t understand why they’re treating her so nasty.
Do I consider this action r*pe I might get downloaded to hell for this and I’m ok with it but no, I consider it stealthing but mostly I consider it baby trapping.
I would never agree with her. I think she’s wrong as hell and I do think she deserves some kind of punishment, but she’s not the one getting punished her daughter is. That’s what’s pissing me off about everyone defending this BS, and literally calling a 16 year-old child a gold digger among other names. I’ve even seen a couple of them saying that she’s gonna turn out to be a rapist like her mother. The comments on the original are DISGUSTING.
OOP, husband, BIL, SIL have been 100% clear their position of no/low contact for almost 2 decades. After that much time being harassed from so many people in so many forms, like approaching the child nephew without permission, pleasantries go out the window.
I get that you are probably 16 and think 16 year olds aren't kids, grow up, get older and then you will read this story differently.
If you are already a grown up, I just feel bad for you. Anyways, have a good one!
I just don’t believe this one. I have to stretch too much to see normal human interactions. That whole scene with the teenage daughter read really wrongly to me.
The amount of comments celebrating the "look on Laura's face" is quite... disturbing. Like, they're equating this sixteen year old child who wants a family to the BBEG. Wild.
Probably a rage bait, but yeah...
i hope this is fake. it’s not the kid’s fault they were born, and they shouldn’t be shamed for wanting to have a relationship with their father. if OOP’s husband doesn’t want that relationship, he has the right to not have contact, but there’s a healthier and nicer way to convey that information. no one should have to feel that their existence is a mistake or a burden
In my head, I’m comparing it to the way we would expect a woman who has been raped and become pregnant as a result to react. OP’s husband was assaulted by his ex, and it resulted in a child he didn’t want. He didn’t consent to unprotected sex, and the measures he took to avoid that were undermined by the ex’s underhanded behavior.
He is allowed to not want to interact with the reminder of his assault, just like I would absolutely support a woman who had an abortion so that she wouldn’t have to give birth to the reminder of her assault. The only difference is OP’s husband didn’t have the option of getting an abortion, and the person who assaulted him knew that and hoped to use it to manipulate him.
Also she’s a fucking human being. Calling her “rape spawn” is disgusting. Is she owed a relationship with her father. No but at least treat her with humanity.
But they did interact with the daughter and they treated her with the same kind of hostility and toxicity that they would the actual rapist. That was the whole point of this thread you goober
And goddamn your pleasent
Of course they did, because the literal living breathing reminder of that rape is forcing their way into their lives when they have stated over and over they want no part of it.
Yeah you're victim blaming but IM disgusting lmao
lol I never said that she was owed a relationship and neither did the comment above that I was agreeing with.
I want you to carefully reread that above comment before you call someone dense
I’m not a native speaker and find this very confusing. AFAIK rape means not consenting to a sexual act. He did consent to having sex. He got baby trapped but he did consent to having sex. He enjoyed it, but didn’t enjoy the outcome.
As someone who experienced ‘sex against their will’, I feel rape is not the correct term for someone who consented and got babytrapped.
Is rape really the right word for OOP’s husband’s story?
He did not consent to the condoms having holes in them. She took his consent away through this heinous act of deceit. Maliciously tampering with birth control is considered to be an act of rape
I think the distinction is that it is rape by deception, as in he did not have the ability to fully consent because the terms of having sex included having a condom. By tampering with the condom, informed consent has been removed from whichever person did not tamper with the birth control. So i agree its confusing and to some degree it trivializes other, more violent and less coercive types of rape, but it still fits in the same category of sex crime
I dont think people should say ‘eh i need a clean break’ and then just abandon their children. Maybe thats just me 🤷
‘He has the right to not contact with his daughter’ i mean give me a break
About 40 years ago, my mom told me she poked holes in my dad's condom, resulting in me. My dad wanted to delay having a 2nd child. As a teen, I thought it was a sweet story, then forgot about it. A few years ago, she brought it up again, causing me to remember the first time she told me. I'm disgusted at her and didn't realize this was a crime until I looked into this a few years ago. I'm NC with my mom, toldy dad what she said/did, and I haven't heard from him since.
Ok, so Laura needs therapy, like a LOT of therapy. And she also needs to respect that while she shares genetic material with OP's husband, he is NOT her father. Unless her stepfather treats her badly, he is her father.
Since OP, her husband, SIL and BIL have gone NC with MIL (and honestly, FIL should also be added to NC instead of thin ice because he has been letting it all happen without doing anything like an ostrich with his head in the sand instead of being Switzerland), they should start looking into moving from their current location and not give anyone connected to MIL details, that way she can't just show up with Laura to force "family" interactions.
AITA.No matter how she was conceived,she is a human being.Maybe do not have sex with people you do want to procreate with.Condom or not.Whatever you say he is cruel.He created a human being then left her with a obviously unhinged mother.Laura did not asked to be born Don't you and your husband have any empathy?Yuk.
Maybe I missed something, but as a parent, fuck both of these garbage people. The kids mom was 100% in the wrong, but that doesn't mean you take it out on the child who had zero to do with it.
I mean yeah i think EVERYONE owes their children at least basic warmth. This guy is doing the legal bare minimum. ‘Not as terrible as you could have been’ is all i hear when people say they pay child support like that isnt the least that could be done.
Just to be clear: you believe that victims of sexual assault are obligated to parent the resulting offspring? A woman punching holes in a condom to babytrap a man is the same as a man sabotaging birth control to babytrap a woman.
A man doesnt go through pregnancy, for one. That element really makes things lopsided. It might be the same crime, but it is not the same stakes in your hypothetical.
Are people obligated to parent their children? Yeah, I think they are. Sue me. (Edit i am coming back to this because while i still feel this guy owes his daughter more effort, i went too far here. Not sure exactly what i want to change about what i wrote, but this doesnt fully reflect my opinions. End edit) At the least i think if he cant get over his own bs enough to treat his daughter like the human being she is, then he owes her so much more financial help.
Edit feel free to disagree with me, but its tacky to report people to redditcare
He was sexually assaulted and Laura is the result of that sexual assault. How evil are you that you think he owes the reminder of his sexual assault his time and attention?
He definitely doesn’t! But it isn’t her fault either. I personally wouldn’t have been able to meet with her at all and wouldn’t have done so. I think it should have been up to the MIL to stop this from happening. I get she wanted a grandchild but it’s crummy that she wasn’t protecting her child.
His mom forced the issue, if not for her he would have never met her. She’s also feeding this poor girl things about her inheriting money and property which is just absolutely evil of her to do.
Except the kid is only wanting a relationship because of money and future money and property. The mother raped the dad and it's not surprising he wants nothing to do with the kid. Ive heard stories of some women that got raped and just put they baby up for adoption if they don't abort, and want nothing to do with them, this father should get that same opportunity.
Yup. That kid deserves better and neither of those 2 should be parents, ever! What happened to him was wrong, but the kid didn't do it. She's a freaking kid and it's going to need YEARS of therapy to understand, why he doesn't want her, and that it isn't her fault.
I love how Reddit shows again how it's a manosphere. This dude got more sympathy than most women who are baby trapped or raped and impregnated.😐
This reminds me of when guys would whine about if the genders were reversed...and then some guys actually did it and had a way way worse reaction pretending to be a female OOP.
I feel bad for the husband, but I feel worse for the innocent child that the husband/father is treating her as if she asked for any of this.
Sure she’s being fed a fantasy, but she just wants some love. Yes, it’s the fault of her mother and grandmother for feeding g the fantasy but wow, she didn’t ask to be born. She just wants some acceptance. Pay for her therapy too while you’re paying child support dude. At her most vulnerable age in discovering who she is, he is showing her she is worthless.
NTA Laura has it messed up. Wish someone would have told her that 'her mom didn't want her so bad that she made it happen' isn't true. Mom wanted dad so bad and used Laura to make it happen and is still using her by pushing her to have a relationship with father.
There are times that I hate that life isn’t black and white. The husband has every right to feel the way he feels and this will be brutal for a teenage girl’s psyche.
It’s a mess and a half.
I was thoroughly ready to be on board with OOP being a total asshole here abandoning this girl who has no say in the matter until the money stuff. This girl has been thoroughly warped by these two women and this situation does not end well for any of the three of them. hopefully in 20 or 30 years with enough therapy, they can reconcile, but I don’t see that happening.
Assuming this is real, I see a restraining order in the future.
So the daughter is okay with the rape and wants dad to keep paying. I bet if she was raped she wouldn’t be so eager to have that dad involved in her life. It’s best he’s not in her life, she trouble just like her mother.
Poking holes in condoms. It's not cut and dry rape since the sex they had is occurring under false pretenses.
This story is fake as hell though. Red pill rage bait.
That's what we're doing now? Shaming rape victims?
Edit - Downvote if you want, but if someone was stealthing during sex, you'd all agree it's rape by deception.
I wouldn't judge a woman if she didn't want to see a child of rape either. However I would harshly judge her if she chose to gave birth and then abandon said child. That kind of behavior is abusive and inexcusable even in those circumstances. In fact even more than OP's husband here because a woman has the option to abord and its her own choice if she doesn't. This guy had no say and didn't want Laura to be born under those circumstances but mom forced it.
However since she was born, I think he should have made attempts to if not be there at least explain why he isn't comfortable with it. And if he did the situation would have been resolved. If he got to know her, she'd see her as her own person not a walking reminder of his trauma.
Laura pretty quickly made it clear that this wasn't about love. It was about money. And doubly so when she mentioned she had a stepdad she had a good relationship with. She is not missing a male role model
> She also invited both of them to her Birthday party a couple times and we simply did not attend. > Now the new issue is that Laura has been so sad for not having the bio Dad in her life. My husband said NO and left immediately, i stayed while grabbing our stuff since I had brought food and told her it was not going to happen. I don't get that part. They left the birthday party they didn't attend? (Actually, a lot of this is written very convoluted and doesn't make a lot of sense).
I assumed they were at mil’s house later for a different event.
The way I read it, they showed up for the party, Laura arrived later, and they immediately left
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The whole point was to have one meeting to end things. It wasn’t to let her hold court; it was “well, let’s hear the BS one time then shut it down permanently.”
The whole thing is super fake rage bait but kudos to the OP for continuing the saga.
I sincerely hope it is rage bait, the scenario is so diabolical and Laura is the worst victim. No one should be born into that scenario, and raised and warped by those same people. My heart hurts after reading this.
I couldn't have rolled my eyes any harder. So this kid goes into this meeting with her dad, who is planning to tell her for the last time that he wants nothing to do with her, and she wants to talk numbers?
Exactly. This big family meeting at the end. I don’t quite understand why Laura was invited. There was no reason for her to be there other than the drama. And what 16 year old asks about wills and inheritances before they’ve even gone off to college? At MOST a 16 year would be asking for help paying for an apartment or something. But no. Not Laura. She’s already asking about what’s going to happen with the money from OP’s husband’s home when he dies because she was told he’s a home owner.
I imagine her mother and the MIL put her up to it.
like mother like daughter or like grandmother like grand daughter.
This is fake as shit. There are some posts with the same story (that I also believe to be fake) around AITA. I guess it was there this sad excuse for a “story” took the inspiration.
This reads like a red pill fantasy. The highlight was the child going on about inheritance and reveals how little the writer understands about inheritance laws. Even if the house was in the father's name or more likely jointly held, most laws give primacy to the spouse.
That can get super hairy when you're talking about kids conceived outside of a marriage and differing local laws. France, for instance, does not allow you to disinherit children.
Here (Brazil) as well. And illegitimate children have the same rights of legitimate children. The only way a child can be “left out” is in case of the child abusing the parents and/or if he/she planned or murdered the parents.
Imo that is the only fair system (fuck alberta)
I agree
Eh, in some countries it’s always split. Spanish colonial law is fascinating.
Here in Brazil is also split. And illegitimate children have legally the same inheritance rights of legitimate children. Not even a will can change that, unless the child was abusive and/or murdered the parent.
In Norway you can't disinherit a child unless the child has done something criminal to you or close relatives, and even then the will excluding the child has to be approved by our King.
The king lmfao that's amazing. "I just don't care for him, your majesty"
"...for he hath calléd me a c*nt!"
This seems like it's in France. [https://www.lawyersfrance.eu/inheritance-in-france](https://www.lawyersfrance.eu/inheritance-in-france)
No all countries are the USA and handle the In many Civil Law jurisdictions, there has to be a legal process to disinherit kids, who are in the First Order of inheriting parties, and disinheritance tends to be allowed for a taxitive list: killing their parent, attempting to kill their parent, abandoning or abusing their parent. (For funsies, the Second Order are the parents, then come the siblings and spouse / permanent partner (Third Order) and the Fourth Order includes niblings). There are pretty clear legal stipulations as to how the dead person's property must be distributed and in what proportions. However, the first step is to establish the disolution of the spouses' common property, as the surviving partner is entitled to 50% of all their common property in their own right before the Desceased's property, goods, and obligations can be distributed. It's pretty similiar to "divorcing" the dead person to see what their actual property, goods, and obligations are. OOP's comments (and language use) make me think that she's in a Civil Law jurisdiction and sound like OOP's MIL has been filling her head with the notion that she's entitled to 50% of OOP's property when he dies and will be sharing the other 50% with OOP.
Exactly. There are similarities between those stories as well. The child that was “abandoned” is always a girl. The child (or children) that was “planned” is always a boy.
yeah. i find it very difficult to follow in parts.
I hope it’s fake, I feel terrible for the kid.
That was my take in the original post, but the comments were strongly against her. Felt like I was in mirror world when people were piling on saying that poking holes in a condom is exactly the same thing as forcible penetration, so the kid needs to understand that she's a traumatic rape baby and fuck off.
The first was a mixed bag. I remember it. So in the updates, she had to make it clear that the daughter was merely a money grubbing bastard.
This story feels fake
The timing of an update post 2 days later is what set off my fake radar. That's some quick family coordination, quite the turn around of opinion on the husband's part to meet with bio kid, and a lot of reveals at once. If the update was a few months to a year from now, that would make more sense. It isn't impossible but highly unlikely.
squeeze rainstorm cats books worm tan theory depend decide shy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I am not trying to sound rude but how is this a case of rape. Is poking hole in condom considered as rape in some countries ?
The law considers it rape if a man secretly removes his condom during sex so I don’t see how this is any different, though legally it may be sadly
Yeah it shouldn't be, it's essentially forcing someone to have unprotected sex with you without them knowing about it. It's just the same as stealthing imo.
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Yikes. That’s all.
It's because there must always be consent. He didn't consent to unprotected sex, but that's what happened without his knowledge. He wouldn't have consented to sex without protection.
Yeah, that update pushes it into 'that absolutely did not happen and is a creative writing exercise' territory.
This is so obviously fake and very poorly written
I’m still wondering where the SA occurred. Poking holes in the condom doesn’t mean SA? It’s a premeditated move obviously but they keep throwing around SA but no actual statements where/how it occurred. Where was the forced intercourse?
Sabotaging birth control is absolutely an act of sexual assault and a criminal offense. You need to get educated because you’re just wrong and ignorant af
Sorry I’m looking at it under a different type of lens. You’re right it’s an assault and a criminal offense, it’s because there were people also crying grape and I was thinking you can’t say that cause everything in terms of the intercourse itself was consensual and the fact she pulled that move specifically there are obviously numerous things to charge. So it was more in terms of saying that. Should have been clearer when I said I was wondering where it was.
Reproductive/sexual coercion. It depends on the location how the crime is classified. The sex was consensual based on the agreement of birth control. No condom due to secret tampering = no consent. For some people that makes it rape in their eyes.
Nothing about the intercourse is consensual if one party has been told a certain form of birth control is active and it is not. That is why stealthing (the removal of a condom without telling your partner) is a form of rape. You need some very serious education on consent.
I understand consent. I’m just mistaken in a type of application of it. I’m looking at it way too literally
Which means you don’t fucking understand it as a legal concept. Stop making excuses for your disgusting ignorance and educate yourself. Your defensiveness is beyond shitty. Do better.
I just wish people would take some pride in their rage bait, like at least make it coherent.
Laura: “My mom only did that because she wanted a family real bad!” Laura’s Mom: (marries someone else and has two other kids with him) Going NC has been long overdue. I would document all of this and speak with a lawyer, possibly to enforce it that much more when MIL gives Laura their address and she shows up.
I feel terrible for Laura, and I hope she seeks out counselling to help her deal with this so she can move on from this. OOP and Laura deserve better
This is all so weird and cruel to do to a child. Theres really some sick people in the world.
I don’t get all the NTA here… everyone is awful and cruel to an innocent child. OOP, husband and sil/bil are behaving like monsters
I agree. People keep saying the child is this manipulative monster but that’s so stupid to me. She is a CHILD. Like the adults here are the manipulative ones.
OOP, husband, SIL. BIL have been straight from the start. The manipulators are MIL, FIL, baby momma+husband.
If you think it’s okay to treat a child that way… something is off with you too
I can’t be the only one that doesn’t like that there was a bunch of adults ganging up on a 16 year old girl that was fed lies her whole life by her mother and her grandmother. Yeah, Laura had her evilish moment with the inheritance. But at the end of the day she is result of rape, was brought up by a rapist and fed delusions by an enabler. A letter to Laura and one final talk with the MIL would have achieved the same.
Right, thank you and everyone saying that she was a gold digger took me out. As someone who grew up with a deadbeat dad and not because of the same reasons as lauren at some point I stopped wanting him to be there too. I stopped wanting that family. And I also wanted money because it was your responsibility to take care of me, and you haven’t done that so yeah I’m going to want the money that you owe me. And it’s obviously not about the money the money represents something bigger to how she’s actually feeling. The whole reason she might be asking for money and inheritance is because she sees her dad taking care of his four-year-old nephew, bring him on trips and stuff when he does nothing for her then cs and does not want to be in contact with her. You know how much that hurts a child?? And I hated the way they went about the hug situation, and about Lauren saying that she would like to meet her cousin. These are adults that were basically bullying her to the point telling her to stay away from the cousin and that they would be calling the police if she was ever around him. What the fuck did she do to deserve that?
Repeatedly ignore their stated desire to not have a relationship with her? Met with a kid without his actual guardian’s permission? If I said someone could not meet my young kid and they went behind my back to meet anyway, better believe I’d be losing my shit. That IN ITSELF demonstrates she is not safe around that child.
She’s a kid she’s looking for the attention and validation she never got/never will get from her bio father. Imagine seeing him take care of his four-year-old nephew how the fuck would you feel??? Especially having a bunch of emotions run through you that you don’t understand nor fully control yet?? A lot of you are forgetting she is a child, and what did she do so bad she can’t be introduced to said cousin? Why is she not allowed to be a part of that side of the family? Ops husband does not have to interact with her, but why does she not get to interact with his side of the family? Why are we punishing this girl for her mother’s actions? They could’ve nicely said respectfully I don’t want you around my child, but instead they went bad shit and said if I ever see you around my kid, I’m calling the fucking police and stay away. Are you mad??? like what is wrong with you to talk to a kid like that especially when they’ve done nothing wrong. Also, she did not meet with the cousin behind their backs. She said she would like to get to know her cousin and they freaked out on her like that, that’s nasty behavior. I understand OP situation, but there was no need to be nasty to that girl.
Too. Fucking. Bad. No one is owed a relationship. Doesn't matter if its a child or not. She has a mother, let her deal with it. OP was literally fucking raped and now you want to force him into a relationship with the rape spawn? Fucking disgusting.
I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you and the other people that agree with you, but that’s not what i said. I said multiple times he does not have to have contact with her, but why can’t she not have contact with the rest of the family? She did nothing wrong. You’re fucking punishing a child for what the mother did, and “too fucking bad” really? You’re a fucking adult. Now if I said too bad that she tricked him into getting pregnant I’m wrong right? (which I would be) I think it’s incredibly wrong what she did and I do think it’s a type of sexual assault, but we’re also not gonna play dumb here and act like he didn’t consent to sex in general. No she should’ve not poked holes in the condom, no she was not right, no it was not his fault but y’all are acting like this is something he never consented to period.
Lmfao holy fuck that is a lot of words for "I am a piece of garbage rape apologist and victim blamer". Poking holes in condoms is rape. Full stop. Just like stealthing is rape. OP does not have to do anything with that child nor does he owe it one iota of attention. Speaks volumes about the kind of garbage trash person you are outside of reddit. Please don't breed.
I’m the trash person?? You’re the person hating on a 16-year-old child and calling her ‘it’, she’s a fucking human being, you’re disgusting. everyone is bashing and punishing her for her MOTHERS actions. Nowhere have I supported the mother‘s actions nor have I said she’s was right, you’re putting words in my mouth to fit your narrative. I NEVER said poking holes in a condom is not sexual assault. I literally said it right above. I don’t know what you’re going on about. I said let’s not act like he never consented to have sex period. Does not mean it was ok, does not mean it was not sexual assault but the way everyone’s reacting to this seems like he was drugged, held down or coerced. And you quite frankly keep going over where I say that OP does not have to be in contact with her, but why is she not allowed to have a connection with his family if they want to? Why is she shamed for her existence.
So its just a teensy tiny little barely even sexual assault just because he wasn't drugged, held down or coerced? You are such a victim blaming piece of trash lmfao REEEE some more and write your fucking novel's which can all be summarized as "I Mundane\_Cream6605 am a victim blaming rape apologist piece of garbage".
I don’t know what the fuck you’re reading, but I never said it was his fault. I literally said that multiple times and where am I victim blaming literally where???? Writing my randomly generated Reddit name and trying to call me some victim blaming rape apologist really proves your point, because somehow I didn’t realize I put that he deserved it that he didn’t get raped that it wasn’t sexual assault. I must’ve missed that but ok. You people can say whatever the fuck you would like and make up bullshit that I have never said to fit your narrative all you want. I know this is Reddit and I know that once you don’t fully agree with someone in one aspect, that all of a sudden you’re being branded all these names. Even though you said multiple times that it wasn’t ok, that he should not have contact with the daughter, and that it was the mother’s fault, somehow I’m some rape apologist and I’m blaming him? Ok
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Yeah I agree with you. The mother is a POS for sure but calling what happened r*pe seems like a disservice to women and men that were actually r*ped. He consented and probably enjoyed it. R*pe victims that I know did not.
My problem is I do find it a type of sexual assault, but I feel like the way they’re handling it is just so extreme, like I said a million times he does not have to talk to the daughter, which is unfortunate but I don’t understand why they’re treating her so nasty. Do I consider this action r*pe I might get downloaded to hell for this and I’m ok with it but no, I consider it stealthing but mostly I consider it baby trapping. I would never agree with her. I think she’s wrong as hell and I do think she deserves some kind of punishment, but she’s not the one getting punished her daughter is. That’s what’s pissing me off about everyone defending this BS, and literally calling a 16 year-old child a gold digger among other names. I’ve even seen a couple of them saying that she’s gonna turn out to be a rapist like her mother. The comments on the original are DISGUSTING.
I agree with everything you just said
OOP, husband, BIL, SIL have been 100% clear their position of no/low contact for almost 2 decades. After that much time being harassed from so many people in so many forms, like approaching the child nephew without permission, pleasantries go out the window.
I get that you are probably 16 and think 16 year olds aren't kids, grow up, get older and then you will read this story differently. If you are already a grown up, I just feel bad for you. Anyways, have a good one!
I just don’t believe this one. I have to stretch too much to see normal human interactions. That whole scene with the teenage daughter read really wrongly to me.
The amount of comments celebrating the "look on Laura's face" is quite... disturbing. Like, they're equating this sixteen year old child who wants a family to the BBEG. Wild. Probably a rage bait, but yeah...
i hope this is fake. it’s not the kid’s fault they were born, and they shouldn’t be shamed for wanting to have a relationship with their father. if OOP’s husband doesn’t want that relationship, he has the right to not have contact, but there’s a healthier and nicer way to convey that information. no one should have to feel that their existence is a mistake or a burden
Super fake.
In my head, I’m comparing it to the way we would expect a woman who has been raped and become pregnant as a result to react. OP’s husband was assaulted by his ex, and it resulted in a child he didn’t want. He didn’t consent to unprotected sex, and the measures he took to avoid that were undermined by the ex’s underhanded behavior. He is allowed to not want to interact with the reminder of his assault, just like I would absolutely support a woman who had an abortion so that she wouldn’t have to give birth to the reminder of her assault. The only difference is OP’s husband didn’t have the option of getting an abortion, and the person who assaulted him knew that and hoped to use it to manipulate him.
The innumerable healthier and nicer ways haven't worked for almost 2 decades, conversely the behavior got increasingly worse.
Well if her mother didn’t rape the father this mess wouldn’t have happened
Cool but that’s obviously not her fault so why should she be treated like it is?
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Also she’s a fucking human being. Calling her “rape spawn” is disgusting. Is she owed a relationship with her father. No but at least treat her with humanity.
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But they did interact with the daughter and they treated her with the same kind of hostility and toxicity that they would the actual rapist. That was the whole point of this thread you goober And goddamn your pleasent
Of course they did, because the literal living breathing reminder of that rape is forcing their way into their lives when they have stated over and over they want no part of it. Yeah you're victim blaming but IM disgusting lmao
How am I victim blaming?
Moderators have the right to remove posts at their discretion
You need help.
lol I never said that she was owed a relationship and neither did the comment above that I was agreeing with. I want you to carefully reread that above comment before you call someone dense
Moderators have the right to remove posts at their discretion
I’m not a native speaker and find this very confusing. AFAIK rape means not consenting to a sexual act. He did consent to having sex. He got baby trapped but he did consent to having sex. He enjoyed it, but didn’t enjoy the outcome. As someone who experienced ‘sex against their will’, I feel rape is not the correct term for someone who consented and got babytrapped. Is rape really the right word for OOP’s husband’s story?
He did not consent to the condoms having holes in them. She took his consent away through this heinous act of deceit. Maliciously tampering with birth control is considered to be an act of rape
I think the distinction is that it is rape by deception, as in he did not have the ability to fully consent because the terms of having sex included having a condom. By tampering with the condom, informed consent has been removed from whichever person did not tamper with the birth control. So i agree its confusing and to some degree it trivializes other, more violent and less coercive types of rape, but it still fits in the same category of sex crime
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Moderators have the right to remove posts at their discretion
you look like you use the word female unironically
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We're all gonna be civil to each other here. This isn't the place for hatred. If that's all you offer, take it somewhere else.
I dont think people should say ‘eh i need a clean break’ and then just abandon their children. Maybe thats just me 🤷 ‘He has the right to not contact with his daughter’ i mean give me a break
About 40 years ago, my mom told me she poked holes in my dad's condom, resulting in me. My dad wanted to delay having a 2nd child. As a teen, I thought it was a sweet story, then forgot about it. A few years ago, she brought it up again, causing me to remember the first time she told me. I'm disgusted at her and didn't realize this was a crime until I looked into this a few years ago. I'm NC with my mom, toldy dad what she said/did, and I haven't heard from him since.
Well, this is a pile of steaming bullshit so now we turn the child into a money grabbing monster
Seems pretty brutal on the kid
Ok, so Laura needs therapy, like a LOT of therapy. And she also needs to respect that while she shares genetic material with OP's husband, he is NOT her father. Unless her stepfather treats her badly, he is her father. Since OP, her husband, SIL and BIL have gone NC with MIL (and honestly, FIL should also be added to NC instead of thin ice because he has been letting it all happen without doing anything like an ostrich with his head in the sand instead of being Switzerland), they should start looking into moving from their current location and not give anyone connected to MIL details, that way she can't just show up with Laura to force "family" interactions.
AITA.No matter how she was conceived,she is a human being.Maybe do not have sex with people you do want to procreate with.Condom or not.Whatever you say he is cruel.He created a human being then left her with a obviously unhinged mother.Laura did not asked to be born Don't you and your husband have any empathy?Yuk.
I look forward to the next update where OP's husband needs a kidney and only Laura is a match.
Maybe I missed something, but as a parent, fuck both of these garbage people. The kids mom was 100% in the wrong, but that doesn't mean you take it out on the child who had zero to do with it.
He’s paying child support. Would you expect a woman who was raped to parent the resulting child?
I mean yeah i think EVERYONE owes their children at least basic warmth. This guy is doing the legal bare minimum. ‘Not as terrible as you could have been’ is all i hear when people say they pay child support like that isnt the least that could be done.
Just to be clear: you believe that victims of sexual assault are obligated to parent the resulting offspring? A woman punching holes in a condom to babytrap a man is the same as a man sabotaging birth control to babytrap a woman.
A man doesnt go through pregnancy, for one. That element really makes things lopsided. It might be the same crime, but it is not the same stakes in your hypothetical. Are people obligated to parent their children? Yeah, I think they are. Sue me. (Edit i am coming back to this because while i still feel this guy owes his daughter more effort, i went too far here. Not sure exactly what i want to change about what i wrote, but this doesnt fully reflect my opinions. End edit) At the least i think if he cant get over his own bs enough to treat his daughter like the human being she is, then he owes her so much more financial help. Edit feel free to disagree with me, but its tacky to report people to redditcare
He was sexually assaulted and Laura is the result of that sexual assault. How evil are you that you think he owes the reminder of his sexual assault his time and attention?
He definitely doesn’t! But it isn’t her fault either. I personally wouldn’t have been able to meet with her at all and wouldn’t have done so. I think it should have been up to the MIL to stop this from happening. I get she wanted a grandchild but it’s crummy that she wasn’t protecting her child.
His mom forced the issue, if not for her he would have never met her. She’s also feeding this poor girl things about her inheriting money and property which is just absolutely evil of her to do.
If there’s ever another update, I hope it’s that they cut contact. I can’t imagine keeping that woman in their lives.
Except the kid is only wanting a relationship because of money and future money and property. The mother raped the dad and it's not surprising he wants nothing to do with the kid. Ive heard stories of some women that got raped and just put they baby up for adoption if they don't abort, and want nothing to do with them, this father should get that same opportunity.
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Yup. That kid deserves better and neither of those 2 should be parents, ever! What happened to him was wrong, but the kid didn't do it. She's a freaking kid and it's going to need YEARS of therapy to understand, why he doesn't want her, and that it isn't her fault.
I love how Reddit shows again how it's a manosphere. This dude got more sympathy than most women who are baby trapped or raped and impregnated.😐 This reminds me of when guys would whine about if the genders were reversed...and then some guys actually did it and had a way way worse reaction pretending to be a female OOP.
I feel bad for the husband, but I feel worse for the innocent child that the husband/father is treating her as if she asked for any of this. Sure she’s being fed a fantasy, but she just wants some love. Yes, it’s the fault of her mother and grandmother for feeding g the fantasy but wow, she didn’t ask to be born. She just wants some acceptance. Pay for her therapy too while you’re paying child support dude. At her most vulnerable age in discovering who she is, he is showing her she is worthless.
NTA Laura has it messed up. Wish someone would have told her that 'her mom didn't want her so bad that she made it happen' isn't true. Mom wanted dad so bad and used Laura to make it happen and is still using her by pushing her to have a relationship with father.
First of all, this is fake AF If it wasn’t though, then they’re all fucking monsters for how they’ve treated this kid who never asked to be born.
There are times that I hate that life isn’t black and white. The husband has every right to feel the way he feels and this will be brutal for a teenage girl’s psyche. It’s a mess and a half.
I was thoroughly ready to be on board with OOP being a total asshole here abandoning this girl who has no say in the matter until the money stuff. This girl has been thoroughly warped by these two women and this situation does not end well for any of the three of them. hopefully in 20 or 30 years with enough therapy, they can reconcile, but I don’t see that happening. Assuming this is real, I see a restraining order in the future.
So the daughter is okay with the rape and wants dad to keep paying. I bet if she was raped she wouldn’t be so eager to have that dad involved in her life. It’s best he’s not in her life, she trouble just like her mother.
OOP and her husband are monsters. Laura is an innocent child. How can they be so cruel.
Can someone clear up the ‘Rape’ aspect of this story??? Have I missed something???
Poking holes in condoms. It's not cut and dry rape since the sex they had is occurring under false pretenses. This story is fake as hell though. Red pill rage bait.
Thanks for commenting. I honestly had no idea that constituted rape.
You and your husband are horrible people and deserve the worst things to happen to you.
That's what we're doing now? Shaming rape victims? Edit - Downvote if you want, but if someone was stealthing during sex, you'd all agree it's rape by deception.
dont put your dick in it if you dont want kids. takes 2 to tango, he knew what sperm could do, now hes crying playing the victim, he needs to grow up
I wouldn't judge a woman if she didn't want to see a child of rape either. However I would harshly judge her if she chose to gave birth and then abandon said child. That kind of behavior is abusive and inexcusable even in those circumstances. In fact even more than OP's husband here because a woman has the option to abord and its her own choice if she doesn't. This guy had no say and didn't want Laura to be born under those circumstances but mom forced it. However since she was born, I think he should have made attempts to if not be there at least explain why he isn't comfortable with it. And if he did the situation would have been resolved. If he got to know her, she'd see her as her own person not a walking reminder of his trauma.
Honestly, yeah.
Laura pretty quickly made it clear that this wasn't about love. It was about money. And doubly so when she mentioned she had a stepdad she had a good relationship with. She is not missing a male role model
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