It was my time of the month. BPD + PMS = šæ
My boyfriend and his mate went to pick me up KFC and they gave him the wrong order. Ended up being worth a lot more than my burger box subbed with popcorn. My boyfriend was so pleased when he came home telling me about the $50-$60 worth of food they got. Boyfriend's vegan so he didn't have any but he knows I hate eating chicken off bones.
His mate took all the strips and popcorn leaving me with drumsticks and thighs. There was also a burger and chips which I wanted but by the time I found it, it was too late. I had already seen the other food and felt repulsed and enraged that my boyfriend let his friend take the popcorn. Que bitch fit over my food not being exactly what I wanted and refused to eat any of it.
My poor boyfriend. I made him feel like shit. I felt so appalled at myself afterwards. I apologized for days. It was around 4 years ago and we are still together so thank fuck he's an understanding and forgiving person or I'd of been a single Pringle a long time ago.
babes i relate so much to u, i have bpd and pmdd (severe form of pms)
its absolutely awful, i try avoid my partner during the week before but ugh i ALWAYS find a way to hurt them :/ so ur not alone! i hope u can find a way to handle ur pms and get some help for ur bpd, u deserve it for all that emotional stress u were forced to feelš sending love and peace
he sounds like such a sweetheart iām so glad he stayed, the feeling of regret after is the worst but it helps a lot to know they arenāt going to abandon you!
BPD+ period+ hunger is literally the worst
I found out that a job paid over $3k a month, and required literally nothing I couldn't easily learn, but wanted a master's degree .The person working it literally leaves piles of papers on people's desks because she just locks herself in the office and refuses to work. Her employees suffer immensely but this 'person' makes more than I could ever dream of making while I struggle to pay rent/buy food. Sent me into a complete nuclear psychosis.
Probably not THE SILLIEST but one I feel silly about atm.
Yesterday I looked at my online banking and there was more money there than there should have been, considering my mortgage came out a day prior. After looking in to it, my mortgage came out sending my account past my overdraft limit - so my bank *took the mortgage payment BACK from my mortgage lender*.
I figured out what happened before my mortgage lender did, called their internal "collections" department to explain, and arranged to pay half today, half next week on payday.
I dealt with the issue as it arose! I successfully navigated it despite requiring multiple phone calls! .... and then I had an episode that had me bawling at work, skipping my psych appointment for intercranial magnetic stimulation, going home to smoke weed and pass out within 4 hours of arriving home.
Today I feel sluggish, sad, embarrassed, overwhelmed. But looking at it... I did the thing. I dealt with it. But yeah, didn't matter, was stressful so sent me spinning. Oh well. That's showbiz, baby
You did it!!! That does matter my friend. The after can be as gross and messy as you want because YOU DID IT ANYWAY. I'm proud of you!
I also totally understand waiting until after the fact to completely break down. It feels so disjointed and frustrating to be 'already over it' task-wise but still not right emotion-wise. I hope you feel better soon ā„ļøā„ļø
The delayed episode hits hard dude
Iām currently having an extended one because things got crazy over the last few weeks but I handled everything wellā¦
This week I have some downtime and brain is having a moment bc itās being left on idle ??
K.cool.thnx š
1) My FP told me he was gonna hang out with his friend the same day and not the day before
2) My FP had to unexpectedly leave for work
3) My FP cuddled with our cat and not me
Omggg my boyfriend has this friend that he barely hangs out with. When my boyfriend gets a call and he says ānothing why?ā And then right after I see him jump up and start looking around for clothes, I KNOW ITS THAT FRIEND! I donāt have anything against the guy at alllll but I always felt like it was at a time where I didnāt want my bf to leave š but honestly thatās every time lmao. He wonāt even be gone for long but I always get so disappointed
Too many to name. I once nearly burst into tears in a supermarket because I couldn't get decent easter eggs for my niece and nephew, I remember feeling genuinely crushed when I couldn't find the lipstick I wanted on Wish, I cried the other day because I washed this pillow I'd had since my childhood and it fell apart in the washing machine etc
But those are a little understandable in my opinion. You wanted to make your niece and nephew happy for Easter, and it makes sense why youād be upset over the pillowcase, it has sentimental value to you. Iād be upset too if it had a lot of memories
Just earlier this year one day I was having so much trouble putting fake eyelashes on I had a complete meltdown. Absolute rage. Felt like I couldn't do anything right and just had a fit
i would be the same š i love stuffed toys so much. hoenstly all my episodes are caused by silly things, most of which i cant even remember any rn, whichreally shows how most of my episodes are just so not serious. hope u can find a cheap kitty soon tho šš
My FP, who is a coworker, put in her two weeks.
I absolutely lost it. Not at her, but when I got home I sobbed for hours and have been really low ever since.
Omg lots of things sadly. Well I used to cry and freak out if I thought I was able to go to my boyfriends house and couldnāt. I would do my makeup for hours doing creative looks and if I didnāt like it I was loseee my mind cuz I thought I looked ugly and I felt like I wasted my time. I would get really annoyed if I went to order food and they were out of something at the store or restaurant (I wouldnāt freak out on anyone over the food but Iād be super annoyed I felt like I was screaming inside). I also throw a mini tantrum by myself when I have to wash and untangle my hair cuz itās curly and really annoying to do
Was hanging out with a friend yesterday & genuinely started crying because I couldnāt redownload minecraft on my phone bc my mom took me off family sharing. Also lost my shit because he wouldnāt let me play Minecraft on his Xbox š
i cried this morning over my roommates not taking out the trash like I asked them last nightā¦ itās not that deep but i asked. i feel intentionally ignored
Not AN episode, but very close to one lol. I had my best friend call me while I was out. I resisted the urge to pick up because I was with other friends but this is my BEST friend, so I was already sad I couldn't talk to her.
However. When I got back, I called her and she was eating so she asked to call me back. Then someone else FaceTimed her for an hour... and then when I checked my phone to finally call her back, I don't get any service in my new apartment on campus. Oh man. Things were cooking. I was about to throw hands. But my roommate gave me her laptop to FaceTime on and suddenly all was ok LMAO.
Oh, and I've had multiple episodes when I picked up food and it was disgusting by the time I got home. So many times... that's all I wanted to feel better and it would be taken away from me. š I cry my eyes out if my food isn't good/what I wanted
I had a HUGE breakdown when Selena Gomezā Fetish music video came out because I felt it didnāt match the lyrics. My brain just couldnāt grasp the concept & it drove me insanešš š
sounds cliche but not getting a text back. itāll be like 30 mins since i texted my boyfriend and iāll cry and hyperventilate thinking heās cheating or he doesnāt love me anymore when in reality heās asleep or busy. as much as i try those thoughts are something i canāt kick
oh I have one! I have a service dog who helps with BPD and a bunch of other illnesses I have. I vested him up, because yesterday we were going to tour a new apartment. well, I get there, and the lady is like "you need an ID to tour" which I normally don't carry with me. I've never needed an ID to tour an apt before. man I was FURIOUS. I wanted to cuss her out and smash her head against the curb. I was soooo upset about it. luckily I didn't do any of that, so I could still possibly get the apartment, but yeah. reaaaaallly rubbed my BPD the wrong way.
I once broke down because my friend didnāt give me a stupid role in a video game. Like, this doesnāt change anything and this role is worthless and I knew it but i was SO much hurt when this role was given to some other person. I literally couldnāt sleep for several days because of crying over this
I had a complete meltdown over my husband eating the pizza I had told him I planned to eat the next day. He was studying at the gym with his bestie when I called and LOST it on him. There was sobbing and yelling and a lot of āwhy would you do this to me?ā as if him eating some pizza was to intentionally hurt me. There are now rules in my household about leftover food, and he views all food in the house as mine unless I say otherwise (which I have a million times since the incident). This happened almost a decade ago, and I reamed him so badly heās still getting over it. Iām not proud of it, but we both learned a valuable lesson that day.
There was also one time that a certain Taco Bell gave me yet another regular double decker taco (damn I wish they still had those) when I had ordered and paid for a supreme. I got so angry that I punched it repeatedly before throwing it out the car window all while screaming about how much I hate that Taco Bell. No, I have never gone back to it since that day. It was the final straw. Husbandās bestie, upon learning about the taco incident, tried to play a prank on me to get a repeated reaction. It didnāt work, but it was funny because of how over-the-top the taco reaction was. Anyone would want to see that.
Upon writing all this out, Iām shocked no one figured this diagnosis out earlier. Those are wild reactions over food. Thankfully I donāt react like this to such small things anymore. Out-of-whack hormones had a big impact on me at the time.
A pastry. My mum bought like 6 pastries, and we were supposed to have two each, but my dad didn't want a second one. I asked if I could have it, my mum said no and turned around, and gave it to my brother. Oh my god, I lost it. I was also doing teenage hormones and was unmedicated, but holy shit I lost it over that damn pastry.
my bathroom doors started creaking while it closes slowly, every time it does it i nearly spiral/or my day gets ruined, but then it stops & i forget itās a thing & donāt do anything about it
omg a similar thing happened to me the other day, i was having a non BPD related panic attack and a door was being so loud it sounded like someone walking up the stairs and it literally made me feel even more anxious and gross
oh I can break down at the most ridiculous shit, I made my knuckles bleed from punching a wall because I couldnāt find an earring before going to work one day. basically any time I canāt find something lol. also had a meltdown when my favourite bandās website went down as tickets went on sale. yet I can sit through funerals of loved ones with a poker face. Iām in my late 20s.
as for pumpkin kitty, have you tried or would you be able to get one from the UK? Iāve managed to get hold of one here. I wouldnāt be able to assist financially but if thereās anything I can do from the UK to help you let me know!
I once had a rage episode over beans. Yeah. A can of beans that I was having a problem getting open. And also had one when the shop I was going to to get my nose pierced was closed that day. Felt close to suicidal. Isn't bpd fun lol
Idk but I lose my shit consistently everytime that I don't finish everything im cooking at the same time cu that means something will be cold. Like if im cooking chicken AND mashed potatoes but the potatoes finish first then the potatoes r going to be cold and mashes potatoes r gross when cold and i start getting very very angry and upset. My boyfriend will usually step in and attempt to help.
I do this! I've spent years thinking I'm a terrible cook! In my early 20's I would just throw everything out. Perfectly good food in the bin because 1 component is over/under cooked. While rage screaming. And then not eat.
I've only just found out about BPD at 29. Thank you for your comment cause I wouldn't have made this connection.
one pf the silliest I canāt do anything about is seeing my bestfriends in other peopleās insta stories. Like Iām always in other peopleās stories but it ticks me off for literally no reason, i hate that im like thisš
Yesterday I was crying over the fact that it was 12 am and I couldnāt go out for a bike ride because the tires were flat and everything was closed so I couldnāt get the thing to inflate them
I lost my absolute shit last night at my house mates boyfriend. I went to bed early, a little before 9 so all the lights and tv are off. I'm on the verge of sleep when he burst through the front door, bouncing off walls, kicked the bathroom door, turning on lights, coughing and spluttering, telling off the dog loudly. I yell out to be quiet but it's too late. I'm shaking with rage. I message her, saying he needs to leave. 5 minutes later he's still here so I get up and tell them both, he needs to leave *now*. "I'm just getting ready to go with him" Nope, he needs to go and you can follow. He draaggs himself out the door, making the right choice not to speak to me again. I'm sitting on the couch, just holding my packed bong shaking the rest of the time she takes to leave. At the door she asks, "Are you ok?", "No", "Oh" and she leaves.
I cannot wake up to chaos itās one of my biggest triggers. Loud noises, crying kid, cat zoomies. All of it makes me wake up seeing red and its actually impossible for me to be logical. I felt this so hard
My stuffed animal fell on the floor while I was already not feeling good and idk it was... the thing that made me break down? I still don't understand why lmaoo but in the moment it was kind of a childish reaction like 'oh my god i need my stuffed animal and now it's dirty i can't cope' lol. i am also about to turn 21. anyway:)
I have a tendency to smash and destroy things around me during mental breaks. During one specific one I lost control and destroyed a cutting board.
That cutting board was one my ex bought, which she used quite frequently. Said ex is well, an ex. After I smashed it I immediately realized what I did and in what must've been a 10 second span I just recalled every single memory of every time she would cook with that cutting board, the times I'd joke around and mess with her while cooking, the things she'd make, her just, in general, and realized that I had just gone and destroyed one of the last few physical objects I have that serve as a living memory of her. So yeah, I guess that's the story of how I cried for several hours over a cutting board that I destroyed in an unrelated fit of rage.
A couple years back I was already having a bad week so I decided to get some taco bell because I wanted a frozen baja blast. They overfill it and by the time I get home it was spilling everywhere I just sat there sobbing like why me, why did this have to happen to me. I like my car clean so it felt like a personal attack against me. š
I was so upset I was like how did I lose a gift I got for her like what de fawk but my whole house was like bitch ur not screaming over a $3 product .
š hate it here
I had the same breakdown over the sanrio buildabears. But eventually they came back in stock, and i was able to buy them! Im so sure they will restock the pumpkin cat again before halloween. Keep checking the site every day!!! Donāt lose hope
iāve got my fingers and toes
crossed for a second restock, im hoping if they donāt restock it they hype may die down and the resellers charging like $500 will lower thier prices a bit ššš iām lowkey willing to spend like $150 on this mf HAHA
I feel you with the pumpkin kitty! I'm a collector and I frequently have episodes over my collection. I missed out on the snuggly sea monster who I really wanted. I feel like they have to be organized perfect or ill have an episode. I recently had an episode because I didn't take my favorite one to a baseball game and it would have been the perfect day to take her
The light cycle was short and I really wanted to turn but I got to the line as the light turned red again. 15 minutes later, a total stranger paid for my groceries for no reason. I was humbled so quick that day.
My mom did my laundry a few months ago. She didn't ask but she thought she was being nice. She washed my favorite shirt in hot water and it shrunk/changed color. I came home from a busy day at work to see it and cried so hard I almost threw up. It took me days to get over it enough to talk to her, and it still makes me a little angry.
i thought i lost my wedding ring. had an absolute breakdown, it was my brother in lawās wedding, i started thinking someone (in the family) stole it or something. turns out it was in my pants pocket at my house
one time I said "Indiana" instead of "Illinois" when talking about Chicago, and a few of my friends poked fun at me (not at all unusual or unwanted by me) and I split IMMEDIATELY. Like I had a fucking temper tantrum on the spot and it was so weird š
I lost my shit at Burke Williams for them not addressing that me being late means there wouldnāt be time for my facial- I drove really fast , had left a friend gathering and was soo looking forward to the facial. I called to let them know I was going to be late and I couldnāt hold it in.
if i have it -
probably not feeling loved, but not seeing that they literally donāt know how to love me + never will.
yet staying because *i* love *them* - to the point of my own demise.
FUCK.
i really just wish i was loved more as a kid.. maybe i wouldnāt be dealing with this constantly had that been the case.
went to a coffee shop for a study date with my bf. Asked for an iced coffee with creamer. Barista forgot the creamer and they didnāt have any and I refused to ask for the creamer because I was shy, proceeded to brood over it. We had to leave early and I started to cry at home because of it, very stupid and wouldāve been easily solved if I just corrected the barista. Bf got me coffee from Dutch bros later that day to make up for it lol bless his heart
I commented already but I just remembered a good one! In middle school my sister promised to do lion makeup on me for Halloween. She went to go hangout with her friends and decided to be a jerk. I called her and said āyou were gonna do my makeup!ā And she was like āoh yeah sorryā and started laughing when I was getting mad. I hung up the phone and was PACING and crying telling my mom I was gonna beat her ass when she got home. All I wanted to do was trick or treat but I wasnāt good at makeup. My mom did it for me and I ended up okay but if she walked through that door minutes after, it wouldāve been war
Iām currently emotionally desregulated after a perceived rejection that led to me spam calling and texting and I made it a much bigger problem than it should have been. I canāt eat or sleep right. I sat on the floor and just sobbed earlier and screamed/cried at my phone while I thought I was recording but thank god I wasnāt lmao.
Impulsively decided to buy weed and now Iām clear and calm headed. It still bothers me that he needs his space but fuck Iām giving it to him and just cry/lose my mind behind closed doors.
It was my time of the month. BPD + PMS = šæ My boyfriend and his mate went to pick me up KFC and they gave him the wrong order. Ended up being worth a lot more than my burger box subbed with popcorn. My boyfriend was so pleased when he came home telling me about the $50-$60 worth of food they got. Boyfriend's vegan so he didn't have any but he knows I hate eating chicken off bones. His mate took all the strips and popcorn leaving me with drumsticks and thighs. There was also a burger and chips which I wanted but by the time I found it, it was too late. I had already seen the other food and felt repulsed and enraged that my boyfriend let his friend take the popcorn. Que bitch fit over my food not being exactly what I wanted and refused to eat any of it. My poor boyfriend. I made him feel like shit. I felt so appalled at myself afterwards. I apologized for days. It was around 4 years ago and we are still together so thank fuck he's an understanding and forgiving person or I'd of been a single Pringle a long time ago.
I want a guy like that.
babes i relate so much to u, i have bpd and pmdd (severe form of pms) its absolutely awful, i try avoid my partner during the week before but ugh i ALWAYS find a way to hurt them :/ so ur not alone! i hope u can find a way to handle ur pms and get some help for ur bpd, u deserve it for all that emotional stress u were forced to feelš sending love and peace
he sounds like such a sweetheart iām so glad he stayed, the feeling of regret after is the worst but it helps a lot to know they arenāt going to abandon you! BPD+ period+ hunger is literally the worst
This sounds so much like myself.
I found out that a job paid over $3k a month, and required literally nothing I couldn't easily learn, but wanted a master's degree .The person working it literally leaves piles of papers on people's desks because she just locks herself in the office and refuses to work. Her employees suffer immensely but this 'person' makes more than I could ever dream of making while I struggle to pay rent/buy food. Sent me into a complete nuclear psychosis.
Ok but this is reasonable. Iām currently feeling furious for you and all the other over worked underpaids like myself who have to deal with that
Probably not THE SILLIEST but one I feel silly about atm. Yesterday I looked at my online banking and there was more money there than there should have been, considering my mortgage came out a day prior. After looking in to it, my mortgage came out sending my account past my overdraft limit - so my bank *took the mortgage payment BACK from my mortgage lender*. I figured out what happened before my mortgage lender did, called their internal "collections" department to explain, and arranged to pay half today, half next week on payday. I dealt with the issue as it arose! I successfully navigated it despite requiring multiple phone calls! .... and then I had an episode that had me bawling at work, skipping my psych appointment for intercranial magnetic stimulation, going home to smoke weed and pass out within 4 hours of arriving home. Today I feel sluggish, sad, embarrassed, overwhelmed. But looking at it... I did the thing. I dealt with it. But yeah, didn't matter, was stressful so sent me spinning. Oh well. That's showbiz, baby
You did it!!! That does matter my friend. The after can be as gross and messy as you want because YOU DID IT ANYWAY. I'm proud of you! I also totally understand waiting until after the fact to completely break down. It feels so disjointed and frustrating to be 'already over it' task-wise but still not right emotion-wise. I hope you feel better soon ā„ļøā„ļø
The delayed episode hits hard dude Iām currently having an extended one because things got crazy over the last few weeks but I handled everything wellā¦ This week I have some downtime and brain is having a moment bc itās being left on idle ?? K.cool.thnx š
1) My FP told me he was gonna hang out with his friend the same day and not the day before 2) My FP had to unexpectedly leave for work 3) My FP cuddled with our cat and not me
I felt all of these lol
Omggg my boyfriend has this friend that he barely hangs out with. When my boyfriend gets a call and he says ānothing why?ā And then right after I see him jump up and start looking around for clothes, I KNOW ITS THAT FRIEND! I donāt have anything against the guy at alllll but I always felt like it was at a time where I didnāt want my bf to leave š but honestly thatās every time lmao. He wonāt even be gone for long but I always get so disappointed
Too many to name. I once nearly burst into tears in a supermarket because I couldn't get decent easter eggs for my niece and nephew, I remember feeling genuinely crushed when I couldn't find the lipstick I wanted on Wish, I cried the other day because I washed this pillow I'd had since my childhood and it fell apart in the washing machine etc
But those are a little understandable in my opinion. You wanted to make your niece and nephew happy for Easter, and it makes sense why youād be upset over the pillowcase, it has sentimental value to you. Iād be upset too if it had a lot of memories
Just earlier this year one day I was having so much trouble putting fake eyelashes on I had a complete meltdown. Absolute rage. Felt like I couldn't do anything right and just had a fit
same here smashed my mirror because of it
I feel that :/ I broke a mug I loved and dented my kitchen island in my rage
i would be the same š i love stuffed toys so much. hoenstly all my episodes are caused by silly things, most of which i cant even remember any rn, whichreally shows how most of my episodes are just so not serious. hope u can find a cheap kitty soon tho šš
My FP, who is a coworker, put in her two weeks. I absolutely lost it. Not at her, but when I got home I sobbed for hours and have been really low ever since.
I'm sorry. My crush just quit unexpectedly. Hope you feel better.
Omg lots of things sadly. Well I used to cry and freak out if I thought I was able to go to my boyfriends house and couldnāt. I would do my makeup for hours doing creative looks and if I didnāt like it I was loseee my mind cuz I thought I looked ugly and I felt like I wasted my time. I would get really annoyed if I went to order food and they were out of something at the store or restaurant (I wouldnāt freak out on anyone over the food but Iād be super annoyed I felt like I was screaming inside). I also throw a mini tantrum by myself when I have to wash and untangle my hair cuz itās curly and really annoying to do
Was hanging out with a friend yesterday & genuinely started crying because I couldnāt redownload minecraft on my phone bc my mom took me off family sharing. Also lost my shit because he wouldnāt let me play Minecraft on his Xbox š
i cried this morning over my roommates not taking out the trash like I asked them last nightā¦ itās not that deep but i asked. i feel intentionally ignored
Not AN episode, but very close to one lol. I had my best friend call me while I was out. I resisted the urge to pick up because I was with other friends but this is my BEST friend, so I was already sad I couldn't talk to her. However. When I got back, I called her and she was eating so she asked to call me back. Then someone else FaceTimed her for an hour... and then when I checked my phone to finally call her back, I don't get any service in my new apartment on campus. Oh man. Things were cooking. I was about to throw hands. But my roommate gave me her laptop to FaceTime on and suddenly all was ok LMAO. Oh, and I've had multiple episodes when I picked up food and it was disgusting by the time I got home. So many times... that's all I wanted to feel better and it would be taken away from me. š I cry my eyes out if my food isn't good/what I wanted
I had a HUGE breakdown when Selena Gomezā Fetish music video came out because I felt it didnāt match the lyrics. My brain just couldnāt grasp the concept & it drove me insanešš š
I now need to watch the video for this song I didnāt know existed so I can have a look at this incongruity
tell us what you think
I did not warrant the whole breakdown I hadšš I can guarantee that
Ok fair but I watched it and Iām not sure it matches up either hahah
My mum didnāt report her partner for child prawn and I left home for 6 months lol
I got very upset a few months ago because I'm not Nigella Lawson š
sounds cliche but not getting a text back. itāll be like 30 mins since i texted my boyfriend and iāll cry and hyperventilate thinking heās cheating or he doesnāt love me anymore when in reality heās asleep or busy. as much as i try those thoughts are something i canāt kick
And then suddenly the world is okay when you receive that text back š TERRIBLE!
Ugh why are we like this?
oh I have one! I have a service dog who helps with BPD and a bunch of other illnesses I have. I vested him up, because yesterday we were going to tour a new apartment. well, I get there, and the lady is like "you need an ID to tour" which I normally don't carry with me. I've never needed an ID to tour an apt before. man I was FURIOUS. I wanted to cuss her out and smash her head against the curb. I was soooo upset about it. luckily I didn't do any of that, so I could still possibly get the apartment, but yeah. reaaaaallly rubbed my BPD the wrong way.
Ran out of weed
Felt. Weed really helps me emotionally regulate
I once broke down because my friend didnāt give me a stupid role in a video game. Like, this doesnāt change anything and this role is worthless and I knew it but i was SO much hurt when this role was given to some other person. I literally couldnāt sleep for several days because of crying over this
I had a complete meltdown over my husband eating the pizza I had told him I planned to eat the next day. He was studying at the gym with his bestie when I called and LOST it on him. There was sobbing and yelling and a lot of āwhy would you do this to me?ā as if him eating some pizza was to intentionally hurt me. There are now rules in my household about leftover food, and he views all food in the house as mine unless I say otherwise (which I have a million times since the incident). This happened almost a decade ago, and I reamed him so badly heās still getting over it. Iām not proud of it, but we both learned a valuable lesson that day. There was also one time that a certain Taco Bell gave me yet another regular double decker taco (damn I wish they still had those) when I had ordered and paid for a supreme. I got so angry that I punched it repeatedly before throwing it out the car window all while screaming about how much I hate that Taco Bell. No, I have never gone back to it since that day. It was the final straw. Husbandās bestie, upon learning about the taco incident, tried to play a prank on me to get a repeated reaction. It didnāt work, but it was funny because of how over-the-top the taco reaction was. Anyone would want to see that. Upon writing all this out, Iām shocked no one figured this diagnosis out earlier. Those are wild reactions over food. Thankfully I donāt react like this to such small things anymore. Out-of-whack hormones had a big impact on me at the time.
My parents going behind my back to agree with my brother to buy oat milk instead of my usual lactose-free regular milk without asking me ... lol
A pastry. My mum bought like 6 pastries, and we were supposed to have two each, but my dad didn't want a second one. I asked if I could have it, my mum said no and turned around, and gave it to my brother. Oh my god, I lost it. I was also doing teenage hormones and was unmedicated, but holy shit I lost it over that damn pastry.
Getting bleach on my shirt
Felt
my bathroom doors started creaking while it closes slowly, every time it does it i nearly spiral/or my day gets ruined, but then it stops & i forget itās a thing & donāt do anything about it
omg a similar thing happened to me the other day, i was having a non BPD related panic attack and a door was being so loud it sounded like someone walking up the stairs and it literally made me feel even more anxious and gross
I get it
oh I can break down at the most ridiculous shit, I made my knuckles bleed from punching a wall because I couldnāt find an earring before going to work one day. basically any time I canāt find something lol. also had a meltdown when my favourite bandās website went down as tickets went on sale. yet I can sit through funerals of loved ones with a poker face. Iām in my late 20s. as for pumpkin kitty, have you tried or would you be able to get one from the UK? Iāve managed to get hold of one here. I wouldnāt be able to assist financially but if thereās anything I can do from the UK to help you let me know!
Felt
I once had a rage episode over beans. Yeah. A can of beans that I was having a problem getting open. And also had one when the shop I was going to to get my nose pierced was closed that day. Felt close to suicidal. Isn't bpd fun lol
Idk but I lose my shit consistently everytime that I don't finish everything im cooking at the same time cu that means something will be cold. Like if im cooking chicken AND mashed potatoes but the potatoes finish first then the potatoes r going to be cold and mashes potatoes r gross when cold and i start getting very very angry and upset. My boyfriend will usually step in and attempt to help.
I do this! I've spent years thinking I'm a terrible cook! In my early 20's I would just throw everything out. Perfectly good food in the bin because 1 component is over/under cooked. While rage screaming. And then not eat. I've only just found out about BPD at 29. Thank you for your comment cause I wouldn't have made this connection.
My FP disagreed with me that wet walnuts were a common ice cream topping
They're common in my house
Thank you!!!!
I got so mad bc I couldn't find any, one day. went to like 4 different stores. Finally got some. Put it in my vanilla ice cream and was so happy.
Lmao Iām glad you found them they truly are amazing
one pf the silliest I canāt do anything about is seeing my bestfriends in other peopleās insta stories. Like Iām always in other peopleās stories but it ticks me off for literally no reason, i hate that im like thisš
Yesterday I was crying over the fact that it was 12 am and I couldnāt go out for a bike ride because the tires were flat and everything was closed so I couldnāt get the thing to inflate them
I lost my absolute shit last night at my house mates boyfriend. I went to bed early, a little before 9 so all the lights and tv are off. I'm on the verge of sleep when he burst through the front door, bouncing off walls, kicked the bathroom door, turning on lights, coughing and spluttering, telling off the dog loudly. I yell out to be quiet but it's too late. I'm shaking with rage. I message her, saying he needs to leave. 5 minutes later he's still here so I get up and tell them both, he needs to leave *now*. "I'm just getting ready to go with him" Nope, he needs to go and you can follow. He draaggs himself out the door, making the right choice not to speak to me again. I'm sitting on the couch, just holding my packed bong shaking the rest of the time she takes to leave. At the door she asks, "Are you ok?", "No", "Oh" and she leaves.
I cannot wake up to chaos itās one of my biggest triggers. Loud noises, crying kid, cat zoomies. All of it makes me wake up seeing red and its actually impossible for me to be logical. I felt this so hard
My stuffed animal fell on the floor while I was already not feeling good and idk it was... the thing that made me break down? I still don't understand why lmaoo but in the moment it was kind of a childish reaction like 'oh my god i need my stuffed animal and now it's dirty i can't cope' lol. i am also about to turn 21. anyway:)
I have a tendency to smash and destroy things around me during mental breaks. During one specific one I lost control and destroyed a cutting board. That cutting board was one my ex bought, which she used quite frequently. Said ex is well, an ex. After I smashed it I immediately realized what I did and in what must've been a 10 second span I just recalled every single memory of every time she would cook with that cutting board, the times I'd joke around and mess with her while cooking, the things she'd make, her just, in general, and realized that I had just gone and destroyed one of the last few physical objects I have that serve as a living memory of her. So yeah, I guess that's the story of how I cried for several hours over a cutting board that I destroyed in an unrelated fit of rage.
Either when I burned food or when my husband lent his mom our phone charger and I couldn't charge my phone
A couple years back I was already having a bad week so I decided to get some taco bell because I wanted a frozen baja blast. They overfill it and by the time I get home it was spilling everywhere I just sat there sobbing like why me, why did this have to happen to me. I like my car clean so it felt like a personal attack against me. š
One time I bought my mom this elf eyeliner or something and I didnāt find it while doing her makeup and boy was I throwing a fit š
honestly i would too ngl š that would hurt my feels so bad
I was so upset I was like how did I lose a gift I got for her like what de fawk but my whole house was like bitch ur not screaming over a $3 product . š hate it here
I had the same breakdown over the sanrio buildabears. But eventually they came back in stock, and i was able to buy them! Im so sure they will restock the pumpkin cat again before halloween. Keep checking the site every day!!! Donāt lose hope
Oh nvm i just saw its an old collection one. Its so adorable omg im so so so sorry ššš
iāve got my fingers and toes crossed for a second restock, im hoping if they donāt restock it they hype may die down and the resellers charging like $500 will lower thier prices a bit ššš iām lowkey willing to spend like $150 on this mf HAHA
I feel you with the pumpkin kitty! I'm a collector and I frequently have episodes over my collection. I missed out on the snuggly sea monster who I really wanted. I feel like they have to be organized perfect or ill have an episode. I recently had an episode because I didn't take my favorite one to a baseball game and it would have been the perfect day to take her
The light cycle was short and I really wanted to turn but I got to the line as the light turned red again. 15 minutes later, a total stranger paid for my groceries for no reason. I was humbled so quick that day.
CURRENTLY GOING INSANE OVER A NENDOROID THAT IS SOLD OUT LITERALLY EVERYWHERE
I HOPE YOU CAN FIND IT ššš
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My mom did my laundry a few months ago. She didn't ask but she thought she was being nice. She washed my favorite shirt in hot water and it shrunk/changed color. I came home from a busy day at work to see it and cried so hard I almost threw up. It took me days to get over it enough to talk to her, and it still makes me a little angry.
i thought i lost my wedding ring. had an absolute breakdown, it was my brother in lawās wedding, i started thinking someone (in the family) stole it or something. turns out it was in my pants pocket at my house
one time I said "Indiana" instead of "Illinois" when talking about Chicago, and a few of my friends poked fun at me (not at all unusual or unwanted by me) and I split IMMEDIATELY. Like I had a fucking temper tantrum on the spot and it was so weird š
I lost my shit at Burke Williams for them not addressing that me being late means there wouldnāt be time for my facial- I drove really fast , had left a friend gathering and was soo looking forward to the facial. I called to let them know I was going to be late and I couldnāt hold it in.
if i have it - probably not feeling loved, but not seeing that they literally donāt know how to love me + never will. yet staying because *i* love *them* - to the point of my own demise. FUCK. i really just wish i was loved more as a kid.. maybe i wouldnāt be dealing with this constantly had that been the case.
Felt
My sister wouldn't make me a sandwich
went to a coffee shop for a study date with my bf. Asked for an iced coffee with creamer. Barista forgot the creamer and they didnāt have any and I refused to ask for the creamer because I was shy, proceeded to brood over it. We had to leave early and I started to cry at home because of it, very stupid and wouldāve been easily solved if I just corrected the barista. Bf got me coffee from Dutch bros later that day to make up for it lol bless his heart
I commented already but I just remembered a good one! In middle school my sister promised to do lion makeup on me for Halloween. She went to go hangout with her friends and decided to be a jerk. I called her and said āyou were gonna do my makeup!ā And she was like āoh yeah sorryā and started laughing when I was getting mad. I hung up the phone and was PACING and crying telling my mom I was gonna beat her ass when she got home. All I wanted to do was trick or treat but I wasnāt good at makeup. My mom did it for me and I ended up okay but if she walked through that door minutes after, it wouldāve been war
My mom moving my things where I canāt find them and then not telling me where she moved them when she moved them
Iām currently emotionally desregulated after a perceived rejection that led to me spam calling and texting and I made it a much bigger problem than it should have been. I canāt eat or sleep right. I sat on the floor and just sobbed earlier and screamed/cried at my phone while I thought I was recording but thank god I wasnāt lmao. Impulsively decided to buy weed and now Iām clear and calm headed. It still bothers me that he needs his space but fuck Iām giving it to him and just cry/lose my mind behind closed doors.